S04.E16: Crunch time

[Primetimer]

Dylan learns that having family around isn't a carnival all the time, while David does the meth.

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[Primetimer]

Also featuring Casio abuse, ceremonial frattishness, and the smuggest chest hair west of the Mississippi.

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[StatMom]

For me, the worst part of the college years: the ridiculously stupid over-the-top drop-an-anvil-on-your-head so-called "KEG house." But the "G" is a gamma, what with being a frat and all. Ooooooh. Guys, I think they're into DRINKING and stuff. It absolutely grates on me every time they say it, which is a lot in this stretch of eps.

[itainttippithebird]

So, former high school wild thing (WILDTHING!) here to report that while I typically indulged in the traditional style, we *did* occasionally do the thing where we would dissolve in orange juice (or Dr. Pepper...?)! And it was like, a known thing, at least I thought at the time, but looking back now I wonder if we subconsciously got the idea FROM 90210! So much for their anti-drug efforts, I suppose. Thanks, Aaron Spelling et al, for at least getting me some extra Vitamin C with my.....Vitamin Clean Your Room Do All Your Homework Stay Up All Night Talking Be Nice To Your Mom All While Secretly High!

ETA: I just remembered that the rationale was that the OJ would mask the nasty back-of-your-throat taste and cut out the nasal drip stage? DRUG SCIENCE!

Edited June 13, 2016 by itainttippithebird

[AndySmith]

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And they NEEEEEEEVER saw him again.

Well, not quite. But we'll get to that in the season finale.

Oh God, David's meth story is either hilariously awful, or awfully hilarious. Either way, it's kind of entertaining. 

Between David's beret and Howard's ponytail, we know the real risk of OJ and meth cocktails is a sartorial one.

[TeslaNewton]

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Meanwhile, Andrea -- who's still a week away from finding out she's knocked up -- sure is already waddling like a pregnant lady!

Wait until she gives birth to her "premature" baby. She looked like she was carrying twins!

[JennB]

Pencilneck Poindexter looks like Steve Burton if Steve Burton were Steve Rogers at the beginning of "Captain America."

Did David ever get a real bed, or is he still sleeping on a mattress on the floor?

[Cekrypton1]

Ugh--episode 16! and we are only at the end of 1st/start of 2nd semester?!?

[SoupThrower]

I don't think he gets an actual bed until he moves in Season 5. So there's that. 

I always thought it was to show people how not to do meth. Also did Donna get the message that she got dumped? Cause I felt that was either lost on the writers or Donna or both.

I hate Erica with a passion. That damn keyboards. She's can't be 12. No 12 year old is like that at all. She's like a muppet or something. 

[Cekrypton1]

Also, I would have given the show HUGE props if they'd had Onnn-drea make a play for her new RA. Like it became a standard thing: Onn-drea likes to bone authority figures, which would fit with her overall personality.

[MerBearStare]

I'm bummed that the writers didn't name D'Shawn's twin sister D'Shawna. That was a real missed opportunity.

[Nanna]

Oh, Donna, you're embarrasing yourself. After two years of more or less sticking to your no sex before marriage rule, he dumps you - and then you're trying to seduce him? Is that really what's going on in that scene? Talk about be pressured into having sex. Sigh.
In other news: while moving around some books and papers I found the BH 90210 Jeopardy I made 13 years ago for a friend's bachelorette party. Glorious!

[MyAimIsTrue]

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Despite appearances, this is not David's impression of Robin Williams's impression (from The Birdcage) of Twyla Tharp's choreography. He's just HIGH AS SHIT.

"You do Fosse, Fosse, Fosse!  You do Martha Graham, Martha Graham, Martha Graham!  Or Twyla, Twyla, Twyla..."

Best Birdcage scene ever.

[txhorns79]

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Ugh--episode 16! and we are only at the end of 1st/start of 2nd semester?!?

Amazingly, this is only the halfway point for episodes this season!  I'm either impressed or horrified at how much filler this many episodes per season required.  I can't even start with Andrea.  I do want to laugh a little when she goes to the doctor next episode at what looks like six or seven months, and is just then told she is pregnant.   

[WhosThatGirl]

Dumping medicine into OJ-which is what my parents had to do for me when I had to take antibiotics once when I was a CHILD! and couldn't swallow pills so it makes me laugh a little if the 90210 writers thought they were being cool, it just reminds me of when I had to take medicine as a kid.

[itainttippithebird]

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I do want to laugh a little when she goes to the doctor next episode at what looks like six or seven months, and is just then told she is pregnant.   

I've been looking forward to this next ep for awhile, as I laughed and laughed and laughed at the stuff with the doctor. FIRST off, because Andrea is like, "I've been having unprotected sex, and I'm nauseous, and I'm having stomach pains" and the doctor is like "it's probs just the flu." (This is also after Andrea asks said doctor for an "AIDS test" and the doctor slut shames the fuck out of her, like, WHY?!?! HAVE YOU BEEN HAVING LOTS OF RISKY SEX WITH RISKY PEOPLE?!?!!)  Then when the results are back, the doctor TROLLS HER SO HARD, all like, "Don't worry, you're perfectly healthy" and then Andrea is like, "Oh, so, it was just a 24 hour bug?" and the doc is like "MORE LIKE A 9 MONTH BUG!!!!" Which, a. way to bury the lede, b. is NOT a very profesh way to announce medical news and c. WAY TOO CHEERFUL an attitude to tell an 18 year old college freshman that she's pregnant! Granted, it might be that the doc assumed Nana might be too old for childbearing and this is a medical miracle, but please try to act like a goddamned professional!

Edited June 13, 2016 by itainttippithebird

[Jmallory]

It's obvious that Andrea is pregnant with Dan Ruben's baby LOL! She's been passing it off as Jesse's. That would have been the better storyline.
To my knowledge, I don't believe you mix meth with orange juice, they changed that for the show. Just like they changed the name from Ecstasy to U4EA... And I'm not even going to go into Dylan and David's excellent adventure with flushing the drugs.

[profreader]

David's Twyla Tharp-ing makes him look like one of those inflatable flailing balloon-guys outside a car dealership.

[Talky Tina]

8 hours ago, profreader said:

David's Twyla Tharp-ing makes him look like one of those inflatable flailing balloon-guys outside a car dealership.

Do you mean a whacky, waving, inflatible, arm flailing tube man?

[Lisin]

So, as another former high school wild thing (WILDTHING!) (HT @itainttippithebird) I was like "Nope. Nobody does meth that way" but then I looked it up, and apparently people do meth that way. It's a slower "peak" time (like it takes 20-30 min to kick in) and it's more gentle and the "safest" way to do it (guys, just don't do meth, that's the safest!) so I guess if you were a dude trying to teach another dude how to be a junkie this would maybe actually be the way you'd start? I mean, everyone I knew that ever did any hard drugs always snorted them but apparently the OJ or mixing it in any drink is "a thing" and I now have to erase my search history! 

[ZeroDiscipline]

Godammit Brandon does NOT know what it is like for his twin sister to work for minimum wage at a tire plant. I hate him more than ever, and we just started.

[ZeroDiscipline]

And another thing. When Dylan was all "you never trusted my dad either and he turned out way different." Jack McKay did not turn out to be anything other than what Jim Walsh thought! He got out of jail and was trying to take control of Dylan's trust fund almost immediately after his release, and then he got killed by mobsters. I'm pretty sure Jim Walsh expected all of that. And I know Jack McKay was retconned into the witness protection program, but at this point he was very much a crook. Ugh. Make up your mind, show.

[AndySmith]

Yes but he sang a song about baseball with Dylan, so all was forgiven or something.

[Petunia13]

Was Dylan having that big trust fund because Jack wanted his money protected / legitimized if he went in the clink? 

It was kinda weird how the amount Dylan received from like 100's of millions to ten million to later 40 or something. Would a mobster that balling put all that in the kid instead of an offshore account? Or do I completely misunderstand his trust fund and Giant Pants finances. 

[Talky Tina]

I always thought his trust fund came from Iris. 

Edited June 16, 2016 by Talky Tina

[bilgistic]

7 hours ago, Lisin said:

So, as another former high school wild thing (WILDTHING!) (HT @itainttippithebird) I was like "Nope. Nobody does meth that way" but then I looked it up, and apparently people do meth that way. It's a slower "peak" time (like it takes 20-30 min to kick in) and it's more gentle and the "safest" way to do it (guys, just don't do meth, that's the safest!) so I guess if you were a dude trying to teach another dude how to be a junkie this would maybe actually be the way you'd start? I mean, everyone I knew that ever did any hard drugs always snorted them but apparently the OJ or mixing it in any drink is "a thing" and I now have to erase my search history! 

Because the post title has "crystal meth" in it, I now have ads in my browser for recovery centers. Thanks, Previously.tv!

True story: I've never done an illegal drug in my life. I'm boring.

Edited June 14, 2016 by bilgistic

[kfree9]

I am so happy that Sarah and Tara always comment on how terribly Brandon speaks to adults. It is insane to me.  Especially as an EIGHTEEN year old.  And, the fact that they roped a FRESHMAN that had been in college for maybe a month to tutor the start athlete that the college was counting on. It's not like he was some genius student either. It would have been more believable if they got a brainiac like Andrea to do it.  I know it was just for show since D'Shawn was getting A's regardless, but way to make Brando's head even bigger.

The scenes with Brandon confronting various adults about the "scandal," of D'Shawn skating by remind me of The Social Network when the WInklevoss twins first talk to the dean (or whatever head honcho that was) about having their idea stolen and the dude is just like, "Ugh, spare me, children."

[Petunia13]

9 hours ago, Talky Tina said:

I always thought his trust fun came from Iris. 

Ohhhhh

[AndySmith]

I thought the trust fund was put in Iris' name, but the money came from Jack?

[MissEwa]

Yep, it was money Jack gave Iris to go away that she took and put in a trust for Dylan. 

[desertflower]

There was always a lot of confusion about how much money Dylan actually had. He told the horse lady he had some huge amount (100 of millions, I think?) But I think the amount Suzanne steals is like 8 million? Anyway.

Does anyone know when Tori actually got her boob job? Because there are scenes here where she doesn't look like she's had them done yet, but I don't know if it's just her shirt minimizing it. I do remember it's very obvious when she is coming back from the beach with Griffin in a later episode; I think that is the Start of season 5? Anyway, it's nice to have some people to discuss these very important issues with. ;)

I will voice my unpopular opinion here....I don't mind Jesse. I think he has a nice smile and he seems intelligent and confident. He even has his own friends and softball team in the beginning, although they disappear, since we know every new addition to the gang is forced to give up any previous friends. The only time I really don't like him is when he and Andrea separate and he stays with Dylan. They write him as whiny and pathetic even though he never came across like that before.

      

[bilgistic]

"Horse lady" made me laugh.

[marny]

Why did the professor even ask Brandon (or anyone) to tutor D'Shawn if the prof was planning to just give him good grades anyway?  What did he need a tutor for?  All it did was open up another student to the fact that the professor was giving D'Shawn unearned grades.  Good work, Teach!

Edited June 15, 2016 by marny

[ZeroDiscipline]

I think Jesse would have been fine, had that relationship unfolded more naturally. I think they really messed up the show saddling Andrea with an unplanned pregnancy at 18. She was the only one of those dorks who understood the value of education, it would have been nice if they would have let her be a role model for the others. If the actress wanted off the show, they could have easily shipped her off to Yale to make a new start, instead of saddling her with a family. All of that drama was way too much for this show. I mean, remember the hospital stuff? When the baby was a preemie? All of that was unnecessary, and weighed everything down, a lot like Kelly and David bickering about their parents' divorce and actively taking a role in their custody battle. Anyhoo. I didn't know I felt so strongly about this. I did like when Jesse put Dylan in his place over his white privilage, and how it pertains to the law, when they were living together.

[AndySmith]

I thought it was Steve that he put in his place over his white privilege after the fire...

[Petunia13]

Dylan's trust fund was very confusing. Like that, his description of the parenting was moving target. At first it was just his parents neglect and ignore him. Then he said his dad beat him. Then this episode claims Jack was a good guy and he was misunderstood. 

The actor who played Jesse was on Bold and Beautiful recently. His role was a fertility doctor blackmailing Ridge about his vasectomy. After a rendezvous discussing the payoff Ridge stalks away clenching his fists muttering in fury and an ice cream truck runs Dr Jesse over dead. LOL 

[bilgistic]

You have to watch out for those speeding ice cream trucks. You never hear them coming.

[MuuMuuChainsmoker]

1 hour ago, bilgistic said:

You have to watch out for those speeding ice cream trucks. You never hear them coming.

I heard if you can hear them coming, it means they are all out of ice cream. 

[Tooch]

10 hours ago, desertflower said:

There was always a lot of confusion about how much money Dylan actually had. He told the horse lady he had some huge amount (100 of millions, I think?) But I think the amount Suzanne steals is like 8 million? Anyway.

This does drive me crazy. Maybe he was exaggerating to the horse lady. When he teams up with Jonesy to get it back it's definitely 8 million. Then he gives Jonesy half for his help, so after that he "only" has 4 million. Which....even in 1995, that's just not like "crazy rich" money.

Yeesh, I had forgotten how monstrously pathetic Donna was after David dumps her. Girl - he dumped you ON YOUR BIRTHDAY which is also CHRISTMAS MORNING. He treats you like shit and yells in your face in front of people. He acts like a general asshole all the time and has his mattress on the floor with sheets on the windows instead of curtains. Why are you begging for his attention and love? JFC get a grip.

[Uncle JUICE]

Seriously, after the way he treated her and dumping her ON HER BIRTHDAY, basically, in front of her friends, Donna should have spite fucked Howard. That would have been hilarious. 

[Panda Bear]

It's funny that Erica is 12 and acts like a 5-year-old, but when Dylan was 12, he was a hard-partying drunk who was already well-known around "the scene." 

[FozzyBear]

So I did the math (I have no life to speak of) and if Dylan is 19 and Erica is 12 then Dylan was about 7 when she was born and about 6-7 when Suzanne and Jack were seeing each other...which is just about the same time Iris and Jack divorced.  I'm kind of sad the writers never mentioned this. Like have Dylan call his mom and ask if she knows anything about a Suzanne that claims to have been Jack's girlfriend 12 years ago and if she was the reason they divorced. Or even mention to Suzanne that his parents were still married when she was going on "business trips" with Jack. Or something.

Edited June 17, 2016 by FozzyBear

[Corey Ann]

John Sears returns at the end of this season with Celeste at the Festival of Donna's Tears so we do see him (and Celeste... and her bra that matches Donna's and Brenda's) again.

[Eldemarge]

The hairline on Moon Pie. Oooof. Teenager, right?

[CurlyATX]

On ‎6‎/‎16‎/‎2016 at 2:32 PM, FozzyBear said:

So I did the math (I have no life to speak of) and if Dylan is 19 and Erica is 12 then Dylan was about 7 when she was born and about 6-7 when Suzanne and Jack were seeing each other...which is just about the same time Iris and Jack divorced.  I'm kind of sad the writers never mentioned this. Like have Dylan call his mom and ask if she knows anything about a Suzanne that claims to have been Jack's girlfriend 12 years ago and if she was the reason they divorced. Or even mention to Suzanne that his parents were still married when she was going on "business trips" with Jack. Or something.

Listening to this as an adult, I think this is the stupidest con ever.  There is ZERO proof that they are related. Erica doesn't look anything like Dylan/Jack.  And, why would a guy like Jack have been around a country bumpkin like Suzanne? Why would he take her on business trips around the world?  And if she has been around the world, why would a simple greyhound trip be terrifying to her?  Ugh... I hate this storyline.

Dylan is the son of a con-man-- why is he so trusting?  Dylan had brains back when that rear-ended accident victim tried to scam Brenda?  I'm so surprised NO ONE asked for a paternity test or even had a private investigator look into things.

[CurlyATX]

I didn't go to a Div I school, so no one cared about student athletes even though we won the NCAA Men's BBall tourney.  For those who did- was the treatment given to student athletes something that could be blackmail-able like it is with Brandon and Prof Randall?  I really with Randall would just magically get Brandon blackballed instead of cowering to his threats.  Obviously, Randall doesn't have a freaking personal stake in the athletic program- any preferential treatment he's giving is by direct or indirect orders from the Dean/Chancellor (Arnold Arnold).

[FozzyBear]

4 hours ago, CurlyATX said:

Listening to this as an adult, I think this is the stupidest con ever.  There is ZERO proof that they are related. Erica doesn't look anything like Dylan/Jack.  And, why would a guy like Jack have been around a country bumpkin like Suzanne? Why would he take her on business trips around the world?  And if she has been around the world, why would a simple greyhound trip be terrifying to her?  Ugh... I hate this storyline.

Dylan is the son of a con-man-- why is he so trusting?  Dylan had brains back when that rear-ended accident victim tried to scam Brenda?  I'm so surprised NO ONE asked for a paternity test or even had a private investigator look into things.

Watching as an adult I actually got the feeling that Suzanne was an escort/hooker that Jack called when he was traveling. Then she got pregnant. Maybe she wasn't supposed to be "sure" sure Jack was the father so she didn't tell him. Or she did and he didn't care. Something like that.

[CurlyATX]

Here is a question to you all: was Suzanne actually involved with Jack and saw an opportunity when he died? Or is the whole thing a big fake? She already hedged her bets by saying that Erica may or may not be legit because of Suzanne's wild past.  I never quite figured it out. 

Does Dylan give power of attorney to the Scamily dad? How did all of his savings get wiped clean?

[FozzyBear]

On June 20, 2016 at 8:11 AM, CurlyATX said:

Listening to this as an adult, I think this is the stupidest con ever.  There is ZERO proof that they are related. Erica doesn't look anything like Dylan/Jack.  And, why would a guy like Jack have been around a country bumpkin like Suzanne? Why would he take her on business trips around the world?  And if she has been around the world, why would a simple greyhound trip be terrifying to her?  Ugh... I hate this storyline.

Dylan is the son of a con-man-- why is he so trusting?  Dylan had brains back when that rear-ended accident victim tried to scam Brenda?  I'm so surprised NO ONE asked for a paternity test or even had a private investigator look into things.

So pretending these characters are written in a way that makes sense; I don't think it's that Dylan is so trusting as much as he can't stand to be questioned or challenged in any real way. He's kind of on the fence about Suzanne until Jim pushes for her SS and Kelly starts to hate both Suzanne and Erica for stupid, bitchy Kelly reasons. Plus the "we can be a family" scam is a pretty good way to go at Dylan who has always been kind of desperate to be loved and appreciated no matter what fucked up road he has to take to get there.

Edited June 21, 2016 by FozzyBear

[AndySmith]

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Does Dylan give power of attorney to the Scamily dad? How did all of his savings get wiped clean?

I think Dylan set up something where they could both access the funds in the account, maybe they set up a joint company or something like that.

And the account was set up at a different bank, so that way Jim wouldn't know about what happened to Dylan, for story purposes.