S07.E05: No Access

[Tara Ariano]

Cole has a surprise for Chelsea; Kailyn shares a secret that's been weighing on her and Javi; Jenelle faces the assault charges against her; and Leah tries to help when Corey and Miranda's new baby is born.

[WhitneyWhit]

Oh Leah, it is your fault that the girlses aren't with you because you're a dick chasing, pill popping piece of shit mother. And nice dig about Cory, but if you were any kind of mother you wouldn't be a dick cashing, pill popping piece of shit mother.

[Ffiferoo]

In the past 15 seconds we've seen Jenelle have more physical contact with her dog than she's had on camera with Kaiser since he was born. 

 

Smart choice to keep sending her lawyer to court without her though!

[Madison Bumgarner]

If Jenelle hasn't seen Jace in weeks, what have they been doing with that tree they bought "weeks ago" when they had Jace? Oh and there's a shock, it's been a month, time to move the flavor of the month in. Notice the guy always comes, Jenelle never moves there. Why? Because her moocher boyfriends have shitty apartments.

 

"I mean, I wanna get custody of Jace back, but I have this court case coming up." SO WHAT?! There's always an excuse for why she's not seeking custody. She really doesn't want him at all. Anybody who cared that badly would have tried years ago. Talking about it doesn't do anything. Pursue it!

Edited April 12, 2016 by Madison Bumgarner

[ClassyCourtHeels]

Why does Janelle keep getting these two year medical degrees? No one in that field of work will hire you with your past.

Honestly blaming Corey TO THE KIDS for the custody changing because you are such a wreck of a human being is really one of the worst, lowest things Leah has ever done. Seeing Leah talking to the girls about the baby versus 75% of the other times really shows she s legit high most of the time.

Kails medical emergency....the lost baby that was really someone else's kid she got aborted.

Edited April 12, 2016 by ClassyCourtHeels

[WhitneyWhit]

"Your daddy should have called you" and their mommy shouldn't do pills but hey, life sucks sometimes.

[lovesnark]

Why does Janelle keep getting these two year medical degrees? No one in that field of work will hire you with your past.

Honestly blaming Corey TO THE KIDS for the custody changing because you are such a wreck of a human being is really one of the worst, lowest things Leah has ever done.

But, according to her, the only thing keeping her from getting a job is the assault case that Nathan's girlfriend refused to drop. She would never have been hired to work in any medical facility loooong before she ever met Nathan. This will just be another convenient excuse.

[Brooklynista]

Damn! Sterling's house decor is an assault on my vision. It's like an optical illusion.

Edited April 12, 2016 by Brooklynista

[Madison Bumgarner]

Kails medical emergency....the lost baby that was really someone else's kid she got aborted.

 

Yeah, it's very weird that he was so unsupportive of her. I remember in the previews he said "You know how much I wanted that baby" like it was her fault she was no longer having it .Miscarriages are not deliberate, like abortions are. Something seems off.

[ClassyCourtHeels]

OH look, the girlses do have beds!

[lovesnark]

If Jenelle hasn't seen Jace in weeks, what have they been doing with that tree they bought "weeks ago" when they had Jace? Oh and there's a shock, it's been a month, time to move the flavor of the month in. Notice the guy always comes, Jenelle never moves there. Why? Because her moocher boyfriends have shitty apartments.

 

"I mean, I wanna get custody of Jace back, but I have this court case coming up." SO WHAT?! There's always an excuse for why she's not seeking custody. She really doesn't want him at all. Anybody who cared that badly would have tried years ago. Talking about it doesn't do anything. Pursue it!

Why do the losers she moves into her house even want her to get Jace back? Well, we know Nathan didn't want to have to deal with Barb. But, her new soulmate doesn't even know Barb and he told her there's no reason Jace should live with her. If I was single guy and moved in with a girl with a lot of money to mooch off of, the last thing I'd want is another kid in the house.

[Madison Bumgarner]

Can you imagine if Corey had said "Yes, I'd love the help." She'd IMMEDIATELY use that against him in court. He knows your game, Leah.

[Chicken Wing]

Randy's impression of Cole = officially the best episode ever

[ClassyCourtHeels]

That was awesome

Yeah it's 50/50, every other weekend and an overnight during the week. #adamlogic

Janelle even hangs up on her lawyer. Don't feel too bad Barb.

Randy's impression of Cole = officially the best episode ever

That was awesome

Yeah it's 50/50, every other weekend and an overnight during the week. #adamlogic

Janelle even hangs up on her lawyer. Don't feel too bad Barb.

Oh look. Leah is running late. Leah who doesn't have a job or jack shit to do ALL day. Good to know she leaves the window cracked for the cat. Hopefully she does the same when leaving her kids in the car.

Edited April 12, 2016 by ClassyCourtHeels

[WhitneyWhit]

Why do the losers she moves into her house even want her to get Jace back? Well, we know Nathan didn't want to have to deal with Barb. But, her new soulmate doesn't even know Barb and he told her there's no reason Jace should live with her. If I was single guy and moved in with a girl with a lot of money to mooch off of, the last thing I'd want is another kid in the house.

Because they know Janelle is an idiot who is easily manipulated by saying the right things.

 

And speaking of that idiot, nice move hanging up on your lawyer because she's telling you that you can't go upside someone's head with a mason jar while they're in your driveway.

Edited April 12, 2016 by WhitneyWhit

[Madison Bumgarner]

This is the first time a lawyer has EVER told Jenelle straight up, that she's a fucking idiot in not so many words. FINALLY!

[lovesnark]

Because they know Janelle is an idiot who is easily manipulated by saying the right things.

 

And speaking of that idiot, nice move hanging up on your lawyer because she's telling you that you can't go upside someone's head with a mason jar while they're in your driveway.

Hell, we all know that, LOL! I just wonder why he'd want Jace to live with them? She already has a toddler and he has a kid he sees occasionally. Why would he want to add another kid to the mix? It's not like Jace comes with a hefty child support check attached.

 

This is the first time a lawyer has EVER told Jenelle straight up, that she's a fucking idiot in not so many words. FINALLY!

It was beautiful, wasn't it? I loved watching her head almost explode when she wasn't getting her way.

Edited April 12, 2016 by lovesnark

[ClassyCourtHeels]

Hell, we all know that, LOL! I just wonder why he'd want Jace to live with them? She already has a toddler and he has a kid he sees occasionally. Why would he want to add another kid to the mix? It's not like Jace comes with a hefty child support check attached.

 

It was beautiful, wasn't it? I loved watching her head almost explode when she wasn't getting her way.

That lawyer just lost a gravy train client.

[WhitneyWhit]

Hell, we all know that, LOL! I just wonder why he'd want Jace to live with them? She already has a toddler and he has a kid he sees occasionally. Why would he want to add another kid to the mix? It's not like Jace comes with a hefty child support check attached.

 

It was beautiful, wasn't it? I loved watching her head almost explode when she wasn't getting her way.

Eh, he probably knows it won't happen, but in the mean time and he can get some air time, money, maybe a new car and then move on, then lather, rinse, repeat.

Edited April 12, 2016 by WhitneyWhit

[TexasGal]

Leah's freak out in the car about being late kinda scared the crap out of me, I can't imagine how the girlses felt. She made Ali cry, she's officially dead to me.

I like how (in the preview) Barb has to spell out the strategy Jenelle's lawyer was trying to explain when she hung up the phone and had her temper tantrum.

[woodscommaelle]

Kaiser is STILL a huge handful? I seriously hate Jenelle so fucking much.

Edited April 12, 2016 by woodscommaelle

[WhitneyWhit]

Leah's freak out in the car about being late kinda scared the crap out of me, I can't imagine how the girlses felt. She made Ali cry, she's officially dead to me.

I like how (in the preview) Barb has to spell out the strategy Jenelle's lawyer was trying to explain when she hung up the phone and had her temper tantrum.

What the hell was Leah doing that made them so late? She only had one thing to do. And she said that they were late because it was hard putting Ali's dress on which made me think she was going to come out dressed like Lady Liberty or the Brooklyn Bridge, but it was just a dress and a sweater.

 

And did anyone else notice the cigarette in Leah's hand and the soda bottles in her house? That Cory, always starting shit.

[WhosThatGirl]

Gracie might be my new favorite person on this show. Watching her run back into the house and grabbing the cat to bring in the car was hilarious. 

 

Also, Kail's story was quite sad , I cannot snark on that at all.

 

I'm happy for Chelsea. Adam is still delusional as all hell, but hey, there's a camera on him so he wants custody!

Edited April 12, 2016 by WhosThatGirl

[TaxNerd]

As someone who lost my Dad this year, the scene with Chelsea and her father in the restaurant made me cry. She has such a great relationship with her parents. Just the heart to heart conversation where her Dad talks about how much she's grown, so sweet.

[mxmummy]

Gracie might be my new favorite person on this show. Watching her run back into the house and grabbing the cat to bring in the car was hilarious. 

 

Also, Kail's story was quite sad , I cannot snark on that at all.

 

I'm happy for Chelsea. Adam is still delusional as all hell, but hey, there's a camera on him so he wants custody!

That was awesome!  I laughed till I cried. Those girls giggling like crazy was the best. Way to prove what a horrible mother you are Leah.

[ivgotspirit02]

I am not sure if the rumors were true about Kail really getting an abortion rather than a miscarriage but I (and it sounds shitty to say this) hope she really did have a miscarriage. It opened up a lot of emotions within me regarding my own and if she is lying about it I will hate her so much. I can't imagine she's lying about it, that would just be to awful even for her.

My emotions were all over with this episode because I teared up over Chelsea's engagement. Cole is very sweet and they seem so genuinely happy. And neither Chelsea, Lois Griffin nor Randilicious mentioned Adumb or how they thought he'd react to it! I was so hoping to get through two episodes without seeing him but there is his ugly mug, eyes glued to his phone and pawning his girls off on his parents again. Ugh.

The editors are getting ruthless with Leah and I love it. They didn't even try to hide her smoking yet again. I admit I was cracking up when Gracie snuck that cat in the car but then I just felt awful that the poor thing was left in the car :-( I'm over Leah and her woe is me, Corey is so mean blah blah blah. I could tell Corey was upset/disappointed that he wasn't able to break the news of their new sister to the girls.

Jenelle with her excuses yet again about why she can't get custody of Jace. Give it up already, no one is buying that you want custody of either of your kids. The conversation with her lawyer did not disappoint. When she said something about how she deals with criminals everyday, it felt like it was pointed at Jenelle.

[GreatKazu]

Javi: " I wanted that baby so bad."

That is Javi speak for wishing a DNA test could have been done to confirm puta's cheating ways.

[lovesnark]

That lawyer just lost a gravy train client.

According to what I was able to find about the case this morning, Amy is still her lawyer. She doesn't seem the type to kiss anyone's ass, so my guess is she called Jenelle and told her she'd forward her files to a new attorney. Knowing Jenelle, she probably acted like she didn't understand why Amy was mad and they had a convo that outlined how Amy expected her to behave if she was going to continue to represent her. Jenelle has already dumped a ton of money into it and she'd have to spend that much or more if she changed lawyers halfway through a case and go back to South Carolina to do it. Now that she's back in North Carolina, she can call Dustin the next time she gets popped for losing her shit on someone.

[WhosThatGirl]

Also good on Cole and Randy for NOT tipping off production about the engagement. Also, I'm guessing production probably wanted a reenactment of the proposal as well and I am guessing if they did, Chelsea said nope and for that I say good on that too.

[LonelyTown]

My favorite part of tonight is Jenelle's lawyer siding with Nathan and Jessica, hahahahah!

BUT IS LEAH'S CAT OKAY????

[TaxNerd]

Leah has no joy in her life. She is so miserable she seems intent on ruining everyone else's mood.

She was so terrible to her girls (and their cat). The kids are in the backseat giggling, moving around in their catseats, and she didn't notice over the course of a 45 min car ride their was a cat in the car? Yep, in the words of Barbara, "You're high!".

Good on Corey for staying strong and picking up the girls. He was so disappointed the girls already knew about the new baby, and yet he didn't blame Leah, at least not in front of the girls.

[what]

This show just keeps getting more and more ridiculous! I guffawed at the twinses' cat prank. Sad but I think the sister brought it to make her twin feel better after Leah screamed at her. Poor girls.

I absolutely loved Jenelle's lawyer telling it like it is. The dumbass isn't even patient enough to listen to how she was going to get out of the charges. Give Nathan the roll! You know you don't want him! My boyfriend, who doesn't even like kids much, said "did that woman just plop a crying kid down and close the door on him?! What if something was wrong?!"

Not much to say about Karl. Or Chelsea. I love Randy. He needs to come by more often.

[Evie]

Randy really sounded like Cole lol.

Your kids are struggling with a new living arrangement so what do you do if you're Leah? Do your darndest to turn them against their dad, of course. It's the Teen Mom way. Sure Leah's feelings were hurt that Corey turned down her heartfelt offer to help.

Of course Janelle has moved her newest loser in and has new excuses for not pursuing custody of Jace. Her meltdown was fun.

[grumpypanda]

This show provides so much snark sometimes I don't know where to begin.

Why is Leah always running late? Is she just that damn unorganized or is she completely incompetent at everything she attempts? She didn't even look that high (tired) to me in this episode so what's her fucking excuse?

I felt scared for the girls when Leah was losing her mind in the car but I'm sure the girls are used to it. I know it was naughty for the girls to take the cat but I still laughed at the kitty road trip.

Anyway, I laughed some more when Jenelle's attorney wet her panties for Nathan and Jessica. I can understand Jenelle's reaction, I'm paying you to represent me not to make friends with my enemies. The attorney was right through but she should have handled the conversation differently with Jenelle. Calling Jessica a sweetheart was a bit over the top. Fantastic television for us though.

I rarely comment on Chelsea but she's been looking cray cray lately. Her face looks freaky and disturbing. Her pumped up lips are gross and her makeup is so disgusting. Everything about it is wrong! She's a nice person but she needs help. I know a gorgeous woman is hiding under there, I just know it. I wonder if she's going to wear her full mask of makeup snorkeling on her vacation. I want to see her real face revealed.

Edited April 12, 2016 by grumpypanda

[TaxNerd]

Anyway, I laughed some more when Jenelle's attorney wet her panties for Nathan and Jessica. I can understand Jenelle's reaction, I'm paying you to represent me not to make friends with my enemies. The attorney was right through but she should have handled the conversation differently with Jenelle. Calling Jessica a sweetheart was a bit over the top. Fantastic television for us though.

That scene was hilarious. Ethics aside, it went to the point where I wondered if she had a bet with production on how fast she could get Jenelle to hang up on her. She just kept going on and on! Although if I ever had to deal with Jenelle in real life, I might be tempted to poke at the hornet's nest too, from a safe distance.

The fact that her attorney had to explain, again, how it's really against the law to hit someone with a mason jar in the driveway, and also pretty stupid to admit to the whole thing, was so over the top. Second only to Chasity explaining last week to Leah that you can't ignore a court order just because you don't agree with the judge.

[lezlers]

That conversation with the lawyer irritated me. It was obvious she was trying to work out a deal where Jessica drops the charges if jenelle works out custody with Nathan of the roll but the way she went about it was ridiculous. Calling Jessica a sweetheart? Come on, now. You sound like you're trolling your client. That woman needs to work on her client control.

[Blissfool]

Also good on Cole and Randy for NOT tipping off production about the engagement. Also, I'm guessing production probably wanted a reenactment of the proposal as well and I am guessing if they did, Chelsea said nope and for that I say good on that too.

The pictures they showed were pretty much a reenactment. Or was randy in the bushes snapping away?

Jenelle's boyfriend has a weirdly shaped face- wide jaw, narrow forehead--like a pear.

[WhosThatGirl]

The pictures they showed were pretty much a reenactment. Or was randy in the bushes snapping away?

Jenelle's boyfriend has a weirdly shaped face- wide jaw, narrow forehead--like a pear.

Yeah, I guess. But the crew probably wanted footage and video and sound.

 

Janelle really does pick winners, doesn't she? 

[ReadMeLattice]

Yeah, as much as I loved Jenelle's reaction, Jessica a "sweetheart?" And she knows this from one conversation? And a sweetheart would decide to be Nate's girlfriend? Kay.

[chuckity]

Lots of respect for Chelsea after watching her on the after show.  She didn't want the cameras at her engagement and she won't have them at her wedding.  

 

Good for her.  

[Maharincess]

I'm so happy for Chelsea. The big, huge, ear to ear smile on Cole's face when Chelsea was telling her mom the engagement story told me all I need to know. He loves her. He's not "wondering what the hell he got himself into" or any of the other things that have been said about him. He's her happy, goofy other half and I'm happy for them.

The rest of them? Could not care less.

Edited April 12, 2016 by Maharincess

[hawkey]

First Leah scene is her dropping off Addy to Jeremy, with all the girlses in her white Ford (as opposed to her black Cadillac Escalade. Why does Leah have two vehicles? Oh, maybe one vehicle belongs to the man who lives with her? I digress....)

At first we see Gracie in the middle of the back seat, Leah drinking her Starbucks - Gracie has on her seatbelt. Next view we have is of the girlses in the backseat, the car is clearly moving but NOT ONE of those girlses has a seat belt on.  Not Addy, not Gracie and not Ali. 

Leah drives me up an effing wall with her, "What's best for the girlses".  Calling Child Protective Services!

[Luciano]

Jenelle's boyfriend has a weirdly shaped face- wide jaw, narrow forehead--like a pear.

This reminds me: I've seen him before.

Edited April 12, 2016 by Luciano

[FlowerofCarnage]

Is it wrong that I think She-Puta pulled a Kate from the Godfather and had an abortion because she simply did not want anymore children with Javi?

Oh yes, Jenelle, Kaiser is a handful because he wants you to do more than the bare minimum when it comes to parenting him.

[Maharincess]

Damn! Sterling's house decor is an assault on my vision. It's like an optical illusion.

Holy shit what was that?! There was just so much...yuck going on there.

I'd be embarrassed to have that on TV.

[WhosThatGirl]

Leah was off the wall tonight. Like, Janelle's behavior was horrid too, but it's expected. Leah just keeps getting worse. Her speech about Miranda and Corey not calling about the baby being born, her freakout in the car and yelling at Ali about the tie. And the aftershow about how Corey apparently forced Gracie into the car while she screamed and how the girls are with grandparents when they are not with her. As if she has never given the kids to her mom or even Jeremy's parents..  

[leighroda]

Ok if we were supposed to see the "truth" starting with episode 4 with Leah, I have yet to see one even SLIGHTLY redemptive quality in this episode or episode 4. Did she think we were gonna feel sorry for her being late... Again!? With one less child at that!? The way she gleefully told the girls their sister was born, but their dad couldn't be bothered to call them? When she played up the martyr role that she would be willing to take the girls to "help" since Corey was busy with his new baby? When she blamed Corey that the girls wouldn't see Addie? The way she tore into Ali over not having her whole uniform? I feel nothing but hate for Leah after this episode.

First of all, it is NOT Corey's fault your baby daddy count is at 2 right now. I do think the girls should maintain a relationship with Addie, and I'm willing to bet money that Corey is willing to do his part in that, but that doesn't necessarily mean blindly letting Leah have the twins whenever she wants. I feel like if anything Corey and Jeremy will arrange play dates amoung themselves, there is no rule that sister bonding can only take place in Leah's care. Would she have given up time for the girls to have a relationship with Remi as she gets older? Something tells me no.

Second, she slammed Corey every chance she got from moments in when she was talking to her brothers girlfriend (or is it SIL are they married?) saying she how Gracie was devastated to not go home with her... And how cold Miranda is, it wasn't Miranda OR Gracie's fault, Leah... The reason you couldn't take them home with you is because you were not performing BASIC care for them. Yes Gracie probably did want to go home with Leah, but there is a reason 6 year olds don't make life decisions... They don't have the foresight to know that if they went home with Leah they'd be left to care for themselves. I fully think they are aware of the differences in Leah and Corey's homes, but I think in that moment Gracie was having fun so she wanted to go with Leah, not necessarily a sign she actually wants to live there... Knowing Leah she probably promised ice cream or something.

Third, with the baby being born that early, Corey and Miranda did the best thing possible... There was no guarantee the baby would make it, it was an emergency situation, the girls did not need to be drug through the play by play. Corey and Miranda were likely dealing with the premature labor and mortality of their baby, so no I don't think calling the girls to tell them first thing the baby was born was a priority. Thankfully Remi came through but what if she didn't, obviously the girls would eventually need to be told, but that is something to be handled at the right time and with a lot of sensitivity, not over a Twitter post.

Lastly, the girls should NEVER be put in a position where they are told that either parent is trying to keep them from the other, so when Leah was saying how she would be oh-so-willing to help out but he refused her offer... NONE of that should have been done with the girls involved, but I'm sure she asked him with the girls in earshot so Corey would have to take the blame for that. I hope this season airing will be helpful in the custody case, I know they can't use the footage, but if anything it will help Corey not to be swayed into feeling sorry for Leah. When I was little I would get in so much trouble if I asked my parents if a friend could come over in front of the friend, I truly didn't understand at the time what position it puts people in but Leah is old enough to understand that.

I hope the cat peed all over her car.

[GreatKazu]

Kail did not invite Jo and Vee to Isaac's birthday party. Why do I get a feeling if Jo pulled that shit, he'd be blasted and called every name in the book on the internet?

Hey Kail, was that the best you could do as far as the outfits you chose to wear for your children's birthday parties? You look like you just rolled out of bed. Or, do the rules only apply to Jo?

Leah trying to pull a fast one by acting so concerned and claiming she wants to help Cory. Leah is such a trick.

What is it with Leah always misplacing the girlses shoes? They are hidden in all the piles of shit in her filthy house.

[Maharincess]

Tonight was the first time I've ever watched the after show.

Leah didn't know where she was or why she was there and she looked terrible, she seriously looked like she was 45 years old sitting there on the couch with Chelsea and Karl.

[lovesnark]

MTV doesn't try to hide anything about Leah anymore and I love them for it. She was smoking with the twins in the car. Watch when she's having her fit about the tie. Her left hand has a cigarette in it when she's yelling fuck this and that and does a U-turn. Someone with DVR needs to get a screen shot. During all the whining she did the entire episode, she never ONCE said anything about how the new custody arrangement was affecting the girlses. Every word was about her. Listen to how many times she says me and I. It's sickening. I laughed my ass of when she told whoever it was on the phone that she asked Corey to help with the twins when she had Adderall. Of course, she did! She probably would have pawned off the newborn if she could get away with it. Gah! Watching her makes my blood pressure go up. I also hope that kitten peed all over the car. Better yet, in her purse. 

 

Sterling's house made me dizzy. Full on Pinterest overload.

 

Adam is so damn stupid. 50/50 custody doesn't equal every other weekend and one night a week. He says he 'won'. No, dumbass, you got a visitation schedule.  When Chelsea had her head on Cole's shoulder, I was expecting his fleece to be flesh tone when she sat up. Girl needs to tone down the makeup by about 80%. She's a pretty girl but she looks like a mannequin with all that crap on her face and her bizarre drawn on eyebrows.

 

Jenelle saying she failed the background check and it just had to be the pending assault charge cracked me up. What about the other dozen or more mugshots, you idiot?I know they did plea deals but that possession of heroin charge did not get pled down to something non drug related. Running a background check on her results in a small book of a printout.