Small Talk: The Polygamous Cul-de-Sac

[Kathy]

What is this??????

[Cetacean]

10 hours ago, Pickleinthemiddle said:

I've heard the second day could be worse. Or maybe on the second shot. 

The reaction to the second dose can be worse but not always.  It's your body's defense against and invader so the fact that you are reacting is good.  Shows your immune system is on guard!

[Teafortwo]

I just found this last week. It's called the Badger Seal and was created by folks at UW - Madison (not that Madison lol). I wish I had discovered it six months ago. It's a small and lightweight device that you wear over your mask, to make a tighter seal. It is an actual game-changer (not the Janelle kind) for me here in the big city (NYC). Makes me feel a lot safer in stores etc, and very much reduces the amount of fogging up of my glasses (or face shield, for when I go to the doctor and stores). One of the links offers a behind the head fastener ($9), the other offers that option or ear loops and is priced at $11. Those of you who are good at crafts (I'm definitively not) may be able to create it yourselves.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/284091920721

https://www.ebay.com/itm/402713209938

There is a short video about the Badger Seal if you go to YouTube and look up Badger Seal (Mask Fitter): How-to Use Guide. It's important to view it for the tightest fit. It's not hard to fit at all but if you don't watch the video you may not get the full benefit of the device.

In other news, Amazon is now carrying true NIOSH approved N95 masks, for about $1.10 apiece. The nose piece is more comfortable than the FDA-approved authentic KN95s that @Yeah No researched and was kind enough to share the data with us several months ago. I've been using those ever since and will still get them just for times when ear loops work better. The N95s have the two bands that go behind neck and head, but they are not rubber bands, they're some kind of stretchy material more comfortable than rubber bands. You can find them here:

https://www.amazon.com/Kimtech-Pouch-Respirator-Pack-Masks/dp/B08PPYX1X7

 

Edited May 4, 2021 by Teafortwo

[Teafortwo]

On 4/28/2021 at 8:50 PM, WhatAmIWatching said:

How low are the chances of getting long-covid when fully vaxxed? As if mutations and possible death aren't enough reason to stay cautious, my mind has to go to all these other places. I just have so very many questions, and am looking forward to data dumps as more is learned.

 It irks me to no end the big pushes to 'get back to normal' instead of adapting what normal looks like.

My mind goes to some of these questions, too. When fully vaxxed, the Pfizer and Moderna, in addition to 100% preventing serious illness/death, are 95% effective against symptomatic covid. That means you can still get asymptomatic covid, (as @NoWhammiesmentioned upthread) which scientists have learned does produce long-haul symptoms in some people (I forget what percent of people get long covid as a result of asymptomatic but positive on covid test) -- or symptoms that don't crop up until later (that's also under the umbrella of long covid). 

I completely agree with you about the "get back to normal." It is in my mind completely unrealistic. For the reasons you stated. We just don't know the collateral future damage from this. Furthermore, now that the CDC has said vaccinated people don't have to wear masks outdoors, I've seen a significant drop in the number of people who wear their masks on the crowded NYC streets. In my neighborhood alone, which was formerly highly mask-compliant, I'd guess about 60% fewer people wear the mask outdoors. This is the inevitable result of relaxing masking. No one knows if you're vaccinated or not, so those who resist vaccination, haven't gotten around to getting it yet, or whatever can now go maskless with impunity. Everywhere in NY State, 16+ people can now get the vaccine without an appointment at most places. I'm VERY happy to say that my cousin's son (who is like another nephew to me) got his first shot at his pediatrician last Friday - just 7 days after turning 16.  His mother and older brother (18) are vaccine hesitant. I instructed his father (my first cousin) in no uncertain terms to get him the vaccine asap. I told him it was the only time I would ever tell him to go behind his wife's back, if necessary. The 16-year-old was very happy to get vaccinated. I think it may also give his mom and brother the push they need. My cousin himself (57) was among the first NY-ers to get it, because he took his parents in the first week to get theirs, and there were so few people there and so much extra they gave him the shot too.  At the time, very few people had heard about that site yet. His sister is an investigative journalist and found it through research. He is still deeply worried about his wife, who's been teaching in person (although she wasn't required to) for months. She just feels "when it's my time to go, it's up to the higher power" type of thing. 

Edited May 4, 2021 by Teafortwo

[Teafortwo]

On 4/28/2021 at 8:47 AM, Yeah No said:

She has also been avoiding the subway like the plague and would take cabs to the station, with the windows open a bit of course.

Have her ask the cab driver if he's been vaccinated. The ones who have are very willing to say so. The ones who haven't don't want to answer the question. I got out of a cab today after one block with the latter type. It was going to be a long ride.  Also, I believe real yellow cabdrivers, rather than Uber/Lyft are more likely to be vaccinated. Just anectodal. 

[TurtlePower]

16 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

My mind goes to some of these questions, too. When fully vaxxed, the Pfizer and Moderna, in addition to 100% preventing serious illness/death, are 95% effective against symptomatic covid. That means you can still get asymptomatic covid, (as @NoWhammiesmentioned upthread) which scientists have learned does produce long-haul symptoms in some people (I forget what percent of people get long covid as a result of asymptomatic but positive on covid test) -- or symptoms that don't crop up until later (that's also under the umbrella of long covid). 

I completely agree with you about the "get back to normal." It is in my mind completely unrealistic. For the reasons you stated. We just don't know the collateral future damage from this. Furthermore, now that the CDC has said vaccinated people don't have to wear masks outdoors, I've seen a significant drop in the number of people who wear their masks on the crowded NYC streets. In my neighborhood alone, which was formerly highly mask-compliant, I'd guess about 60% fewer people wear the mask outdoors. This is the inevitable result of relaxing masking. No one knows if you're vaccinated or not, so those who resist vaccination, haven't gotten around to getting it yet, or whatever can now go maskless with impunity. Everywhere in NY State, 16+ people can now get the vaccine without an appointment at most places. I'm VERY happy to say that my cousin's son (who is like another nephew to me) got his first shot at his pediatrician last Friday - just 7 days after turning 16.  His mother and older brother (18) are vaccine hesitant. I instructed his father (my first cousin) in no uncertain terms to get him the vaccine asap. I told him it was the only time I would ever tell him to go behind his wife's back, if necessary. The 16-year-old was very happy to get vaccinated. I think it may also give his mom and brother the push they need. My cousin himself (57) was among the first NY-ers to get it, because he took his parents in the first week to get theirs, and there were so few people there and so much extra they gave him the shot too.  At the time, very few people had heard about that site yet. His sister is an investigative journalist and found it through research. He is still deeply worried about his wife, who's been teaching in person (although she wasn't required to) for months. She just feels "when it's my time to go, it's up to the higher power" type of thing. 

I am glad we don’t have to wear masks outdoors anymore. Living in southern New Mexico, we’ve already hit 95 degrees and wearing masks outside for some of the population can cause overheating. Last year, we had little old ladies dropping in those awful grocery lines around the building because it was 110 degrees and people had to wear masks outside. And just this week, an elite athlete passed out because she had to wear a mask during a race. 

Indoors? Ok, fine. Outdoors? No, glad that rule is revised. 

[xwordfanatik]

I took a 2 mile walk today, with a gaiter around my neck just in case.  It's my favorite time of year, with the dogwood trees and lilacs blooming all around.  I'm fully vaccinated, so I can go maskless outside (not that it doesn't make me a bit nervous) and it's 70ish today, the perfect temperature.  

[Absolom]

I walked the dog yesterday without even carrying a mask with me and felt strange.  I'm sure I'll adjust to it quickly.  

[Enya Face]

On 5/3/2021 at 5:02 AM, Cetacean said:

The reaction to the second dose can be worse but not always.  It's your body's defense against and invader so the fact that you are reacting is good.  Shows your immune system is on guard!

My little brother was wiped for 2 days after his second shot, but he’s fine now. Yay! My immune compromised mom had no real qualms.

Mr. Face and I are scheduled for ours before I go in for my surgery the 24th. If y’all have a moment, just wish me luck! 

[Sandy W]

Is anyone else having a problem accessing this site today?  All day when I try on my laptop I get a notice "This community not available. Please contact the community owner for assistance".  I have no idea how to go about that.  I finally got in by signing up on my phone but this keyboard is not kind to elderly eyes and it doesn't give me notices when there is a new post. Can anyone offer suggestions?

[Irate Panda]

1 hour ago, Sandy W said:

Is anyone else having a problem accessing this site today?  All day when I try on my laptop I get a notice "This community not available. Please contact the community owner for assistance".  I have no idea how to go about that.  I finally got in by signing up on my phone but this keyboard is not kind to elderly eyes and it doesn't give me notices when there is a new post. Can anyone offer suggestions?

I had problems too when I go to my bookmark of this site, but if I Googled Primetimer forums and click the Google link it worked.  My bookmarked site address was different, maybe trying updating your bookmark if you are using one?  Otherwise, I’m not sure.

[Sandy W]

37 minutes ago, Irate Panda said:

I had problems too when I go to my bookmark of this site, but if I Googled Primetimer forums and click the Google link it worked.  My bookmarked site address was different, maybe trying updating your bookmark if you are using one?  Otherwise, I’m not sure.

THANK YOU  so much IP, that worked!!!

[deirdra]

22 hours ago, Irate Panda said:

I had problems too when I go to my bookmark of this site, but if I Googled Primetimer forums and click the Google link it worked.  My bookmarked site address was different, maybe trying updating your bookmark if you are using one?  Otherwise, I’m not sure.

Yeah, my bookmark somehow reset itself back to the old "Previously" forum URL, so I had to Google Primetimer forums and edit my bookmark (in Microsoft Edge).

Edited May 5, 2021 by deirdra

[Gramto6]

3 hours ago, deirdra said:

Yeah, my bookmark somehow reset itself back to the old "Previously" forum URL, so I had to Google Primetimer forums and edit my bookmark

I had problems too thought maybe it was because I had just update Chrome...who knows??

[Sandy W]

21 minutes ago, Gramto6 said:

I had problems too thought maybe it was because I had just update Chrome...who knows??

That probably is the answer.  My Chrome updated on the laptop and that would be why I could get access from my phone but not the laptop.  It's never happened before with previous updates though.

[Gramto6]

Updates do weird things all around.....

[Yeah No]

On 5/3/2021 at 9:44 PM, Teafortwo said:

I just found this last week. It's called the Badger Seal and was created by folks at UW - Madison (not that Madison lol). I wish I had discovered it six months ago. It's a small and lightweight device that you wear over your mask, to make a tighter seal. It is an actual game-changer (not the Janelle kind) for me here in the big city (NYC). Makes me feel a lot safer in stores etc, and very much reduces the amount of fogging up of my glasses (or face shield, for when I go to the doctor and stores). One of the links offers a behind the head fastener ($9), the other offers that option or ear loops and is priced at $11. Those of you who are good at crafts (I'm definitively not) may be able to create it yourselves.

https://www.ebay.com/itm/284091920721

8

There is a short video about the Badger Seal if you go to YouTube and look up Badger Seal (Mask Fitter): How-to Use Guide. It's important to view it for the tightest fit. It's not hard to fit at all but if you don't watch the video you may not get the full benefit of the device.

In other news, Amazon is now carrying true NIOSH approved N95 masks, for about $1.10 apiece. The nose piece is more comfortable than the FDA-approved authentic KN95s that @Yeah No researched and was kind enough to share the data with us several months ago. I've been using those ever since and will still get them just for times when ear loops work better. The N95s have the two bands that go behind neck and head, but they are not rubber bands, they're some kind of stretchy material more comfortable than rubber bands. You can find them here:

https://www.amazon.com/Kimtech-Pouch-Respirator-Pack-Masks/dp/B08PPYX1X7

 

Thanks so much for the Badger Seal info.  I'm going to order the one with the ear loops as anything around my head never works.  I've tried the respirator masks with the two bands and they slip and slide on my hair and make a mess, unfortunately.  Nothing has worked.  I think the shape of my head has something to do with it too.  But thankfully they make the Badger Seal with ear loops.  Unfortunately the pouch respirator isn't available with ear loops.

On 5/3/2021 at 10:03 PM, Teafortwo said:

My mind goes to some of these questions, too. When fully vaxxed, the Pfizer and Moderna, in addition to 100% preventing serious illness/death, are 95% effective against symptomatic covid. That means you can still get asymptomatic covid, (as @NoWhammiesmentioned upthread) which scientists have learned does produce long-haul symptoms in some people (I forget what percent of people get long covid as a result of asymptomatic but positive on covid test) -- or symptoms that don't crop up until later (that's also under the umbrella of long covid). 

I completely agree with you about the "get back to normal." It is in my mind completely unrealistic. For the reasons you stated. We just don't know the collateral future damage from this. Furthermore, now that the CDC has said vaccinated people don't have to wear masks outdoors, I've seen a significant drop in the number of people who wear their masks on the crowded NYC streets. In my neighborhood alone, which was formerly highly mask-compliant, I'd guess about 60% fewer people wear the mask outdoors. This is the inevitable result of relaxing masking. No one knows if you're vaccinated or not, so those who resist vaccination, haven't gotten around to getting it yet, or whatever can now go maskless with impunity. Everywhere in NY State, 16+ people can now get the vaccine without an appointment at most places. I'm VERY happy to say that my cousin's son (who is like another nephew to me) got his first shot at his pediatrician last Friday - just 7 days after turning 16.  His mother and older brother (18) are vaccine hesitant. I instructed his father (my first cousin) in no uncertain terms to get him the vaccine asap. I told him it was the only time I would ever tell him to go behind his wife's back, if necessary. The 16-year-old was very happy to get vaccinated. I think it may also give his mom and brother the push they need. My cousin himself (57) was among the first NY-ers to get it, because he took his parents in the first week to get theirs, and there were so few people there and so much extra they gave him the shot too.  At the time, very few people had heard about that site yet. His sister is an investigative journalist and found it through research. He is still deeply worried about his wife, who's been teaching in person (although she wasn't required to) for months. She just feels "when it's my time to go, it's up to the higher power" type of thing. 

Thanks, I have thoughts like this myself.  Just when we think it might be a little safer they have to go and relax mask restrictions outdoors so even unvaccinated people can walk around maskless with impugnity.  Here in CT it's not that much of an issue unless you're in a crowded city area but I can see how that would be nerve wracking in NYC.  I'm just worried that a lot of the restriction relaxing is going to lead to a prolonging of the present virus rate and not a decline.  Plus there are the variants that are more contagious and deadly to consider.  They're banking on more people getting the vaccine and that's IMO premature.  I don't know that they're factoring in all of that when they make these decisions.

A good friend's 30 year old daughter is vaccine hesitant based on fears of side effects but it looks like she is under a lot of pressure from friends and family so I'm hoping she gives in soon.  Her other siblings have gotten it.  Plus her parents have told her that she needs the vaccine if she's going to visit them at home.  She lives with her boyfriend in another part of the state and has only seen her parents here and there in outdoor situations since the pandemic.

 

 

[Yeah No]

On 5/5/2021 at 2:15 AM, Gramto6 said:

Updates do weird things all around.....

Tell me about it!  A recent Windows 10 update last month completely wrecked my internet.  It was so sluggish I thought I had a virus or malware.  Pages would hang and be unresponsive on both computers no matter the browser.  It was maddening!  I knew it was the update because my husband didn't do the update and had no issues.  Then I remembered the same thing happened after an update several years ago.  I googled relentlessly to find a solution but none of them looked right so I kept looking.  Then I found a page of solutions from a tech. person's blog discussing the P2P update process and how Windows sometimes updates to flag that setting "on" by default.  Meanwhile it slows down internet speed dramatically.  Nice of them to do that without our consent!  It suddenly came back to me that this was my problem several years ago too.  So if anyone's having a sudden slowdown in internet speed after a Windows 10 update this site should help:

https://www.alphr.com/slow-internet-windows-10/?unapproved=181974&moderation-hash=bb40b02cf0821df8731369b8249c38f7#comment-181974

[Absolom]

Thanks for the Windows info.  I'm not sure I need it, but info is always helpful.

I live in California and was afraid we were going too fast reopening, but for most of the state it's holding.  Our county had a little reopening bump (1 to 1.5 people per 100K per day so not much) and now once the one dose vaccinated rate is getting to 60% cases are dropping impressively.  

Just a reminder pertaining to a post above, no vaccine is 100% effective even against serious disease and death.  I know some reports said that, but there have been breakthrough infections of COVID among the fully vaccinated that have resulted in some hospitalizations and a few deaths.  Just so people know.

[Gramto6]

Feeling old today...it is my son's 50th birthday. How the hell did that happen??? In a month I will be 72 another wth how did that happen??? I never thought I'd live this long, dad passed at 66 and mom ot 67, never thought I'd outlive them...OK going for 100 now!!!

[iwantcookies]

NYC to reopen fully on 7/1. Not sure what I want to do first! 

 

https://www.cnbc.com/2021/04/29/new-york-city-mayor-bill-de-blasio-says-the-city-will-re-open-100percent-on-july-1.html

Broadway opening in September. 
 

At least this summer I might get to go somewhere!

[Teafortwo]

This has been a brutal week. Monday I went for a mammogram/breast sonogram. I knew I was in trouble when the sonogram tech spent a long time on the left side. I'm scheduled for a biopsy on Tuesday. The waiting is excruciating. 

That evening, I got a call from a very close friend that her husband - also a close friend - was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. He'd been sick for over a month with what finally turned out to be a fungal infection, so we were all relieved. He was in the hospital as he also was having trouble swallowing, and it got so bad he needed a feeding tube. But the news of the cancer was a shock to everyone. They are 3 hours earlier than NY, and later that evening, he signed the papers for his release the next morning. Basically he was going to have hospice care at home. It wasn't clear if surgery would have helped, and in any case he didn't want it.

The next morning, I got a call from my friend that he'd died that same night, about 12 hours after the diagnosis and 7 hours after she left the hospital. They're a 5 hour plane ride from me. Fortunately she has her sister and sister-in-law there with her now, and her adult son and another close friend of ours live nearby. If not for my fear of flying in a full plane even though vaccinated, (and needing to be here for the biopsy and who knows what after, I'd probably be there already.

I've told a few friends about the upcoming biopsy (including her, since I found out about it shortly before they received his diagnosis, when we still thought he had just a treatable, if nasty, fungal infection), but I've been pretty selective. I told one or two people I shouldn't have and had to deal with their phone calls. That may sound churlish but I learned you don't want to have to repeat everything to too many people. 

My other friend has lung cancer too, but he's survived for over 3 years somehow. He's not in great shape now either. I have heard people say that 60 is when all this starts, and unfortunately, that seems to be true.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Teafortwo said:

This has been a brutal week. Monday I went for a mammogram/breast sonogram. I knew I was in trouble when the sonogram tech spent a long time on the left side. I'm scheduled for a biopsy on Tuesday. The waiting is excruciating. 

That evening, I got a call from a very close friend that her husband - also a close friend - was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. He'd been sick for over a month with what finally turned out to be a fungal infection, so we were all relieved. He was in the hospital as he also was having trouble swallowing, and it got so bad he needed a feeding tube. But the news of the cancer was a shock to everyone. They are 3 hours earlier than NY, and later that evening, he signed the papers for his release the next morning. Basically he was going to have hospice care at home. It wasn't clear if surgery would have helped, and in any case he didn't want it.

The next morning, I got a call from my friend that he'd died that same night, about 12 hours after the diagnosis and 7 hours after she left the hospital. They're a 5 hour plane ride from me. Fortunately she has her sister and sister-in-law there with her now, and her adult son and another close friend of ours live nearby. If not for my fear of flying in a full plane even though vaccinated, (and needing to be here for the biopsy and who knows what after, I'd probably be there already.

I've told a few friends about the upcoming biopsy (including her, since I found out about it shortly before they received his diagnosis, when we still thought he had just a treatable, if nasty, fungal infection), but I've been pretty selective. I told one or two people I shouldn't have and had to deal with their phone calls. That may sound churlish but I learned you don't want to have to repeat everything to too many people. 

My other friend has lung cancer too, but he's survived for over 3 years somehow. He's not in great shape now either. I have heard people say that 60 is when all this starts, and unfortunately, that seems to be true.

Oh, Tea, I am so sorry to hear all this.  My thoughts and prayers will be with you on the loss of your friend and your biopsy.  Positive thoughts and ((hugs)) sent your way. 🙏🤗

I am somewhat concerned about my own health this week.  Suddenly I've been having sporadic twinges in the lymph nodes under my arms.  I am thinking that they were a side effect of an anti-anxiety drug I very recently started taking a very small dose of to help me sleep better but I stopped taking that and although the symptoms have subsided a lot I'm still having them a few times a day.  It also feels a little twingy in my left breast at times, something I've never had before.  It's really subsided a lot since I stopped taking the meds. so I'm giving it a few days to see if things right themselves.  I did a self-breast exam and did not feel any lumps.  I'm due for my mammogram in July but I may schedule it sooner rather than later.  There is also a chance that this isn't related to my breast at all but my heart or my digestion.  Since my gallbladder removal I've had to take Prilosec and lately I've had to up the dose a bit which is also concerning.  So what I'm feeling may be some kind of transferred symptom, which is not unusual for me especially when it comes to my gut.

I always get told I have very dense breast tissue so there have been times I've been referred for a follow-up sonogram.  Not in 2020 though because things were unchanged.  I was kept in suspense one year while a team of doctors decided whether I needed a biopsy.  It turned out it was just a particularly dense area that they couldn't see so well in the imaging so thank goodness, no biopsy.  I'm at that age where I'm starting to worry about a whole host of potential medical issues and given the pandemic I didn't pursue some of those issues for a year now which is only making me more nervous.

Please let us know how everything goes.....

[Rabbit Hutch]

8 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

Feeling old today...it is my son's 50th birthday. How the hell did that happen??? In a month I will be 72 another wth how did that happen??? I never thought I'd live this long, dad passed at 66 and mom ot 67, never thought I'd outlive them...OK going for 100 now!!!

Happy Birthday!  Many happy returns of the day, GRAMTO6!  🥳

[Teafortwo]

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I always get told I have very dense breast tissue so there have been times I've been referred for a follow-up sonogram.  Not in 2020 though because things were unchanged.  I was kept in suspense one year while a team of doctors decided whether I needed a biopsy.  It turned out it was just a particularly dense area that they couldn't see so well in the imaging so thank goodness, no biopsy. 

For the same reason, the imaging place I go to does a mammogram and breast sono at each of my visits, for at least the past 10 years. It wasn't even my gyn's idea. The imaging place is very thorough. 

As far as twinges, I have felt something near the area of concern for several months. I chalked it up to either muscle aches or possible heart issue. For that reason, along with my newly diagnosed high bp, my pcp sent me to a cardiologist. The tests he ran were all normal. I had not seen my pcp since Aug 2019. I never thought the twinge could be breast tissue. I mean that seriously never occurred to me.

I guess I spent too much time worried and on the alert for covid symptoms. 

My friend said the greatest thing: I was lamenting not getting the mammo in Dec.when I had an appt. right after Christmas, but cancelled it due to concern over more contagious variants and people having gathered for the Christmas  and Thanksgiving. He said that if I'd gone in Dec, the lump may have escaped detection altogether or not even have been there yet.

Today I woke up with a sore throat which could be post nasal drip from my allergies. But I cancelled my allergy shot just in case and will be getting a covid PCR test later today. My car broke down last weekend and I rode with the tow truck driver for 14 miles and he had just recently gotten his first shot (because CT wouldn't prioritize AAA essential workers, he had to wait til the shots were available to under 30s). That's the only time I could have been exposed (we both wore masks and I kept my window open a bit). Except for my visits to get allergy shots, which put me at the greatest risk but are a necessity. Thanks for listening everyone. This site and you all have been one of my lifelines this whole year.

Edited May 7, 2021 by Teafortwo

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, Teafortwo said:

For the same reason, the imaging place I go to does a mammogram and breast sono at each of my visits, for at least the past 10 years. It wasn't even my gyn's idea. The imaging place is very thorough. 

As far as twinges, I have felt something near the area of concern for several months. I chalked it up to either muscle aches or possible heart issue. For that reason, along with my newly diagnosed high bp, my pcp sent me to a cardiologist. The tests he ran were all normal. I had not seen my pcp since Aug 2019. I never thought the twinge could be breast tissue. I mean that seriously never occurred to me.

A heart issue has gone through my mind too.  Heart disease is present in my family after age 60 so it's not impossible.  For me the symptoms are brand new - only within the past week or so, so I'm giving it some time.  I did just schedule my yearly screening mammogram which isn't until mid July unfortunately because that's when it will be a year since my previous one and the online system wouldn't let me book it before a year had passed.  If the symptoms persist or I change my mind in the interim I might call to reschedule it as a diagnostic mammogram.  I'm hesitant to do that unless it's really necessary though because based on past experience, insurance usually doesn't like that unless there's a doctor referring it.  I'm between primary care doctors right now because mine just retired and I wasn't able to get an appointment with my new one until July (and I booked it weeks ago!).  And my gyn. retired too last year (all my over 60 doctors retired during the pandemic, not surprisingly) and I've only seen her replacement once last summer and she doesn't really know me.  Plus she is not affiliated with the hospital where I go for my mammograms like the new PCP is.

Anyway, I wish I could be more comforting but I am by nature a worrier and right now I am worried for the both of us.

[TurtlePower]

Welp. As much as I thought I was handling this pandemic stress really well has proven to be wrong. My anorexia has been triggered and it’s exactly what I need in my life right now. It’s the only thing I can control. 

I’m so sick of covid and restrictions and the cost of things going up and all of it. I can’t even be treated properly because of covid. Fine, great. Anorexia has my back at least (and I’m good at pretending it’s not anorexia). 

It’s the only way I can handle the world right now. 

[iwantcookies]

Got the J and J vaccine 15 minutes ago. 

Guy in front of me passed out cold... but he came to and walked home. I was next.

[Sandy W]

2 minutes ago, iwantcookies said:

Got the J and J vaccine 15 minutes ago. 

Guy in front of me passed out cold... but he came to and walked home. I was next.

Some funny incidents arise when getting shots.  I think sometimes men are more nervous than they let on.  When Mr. Sandy was seated for his shot, a lady rolled up with a cart, he noted the yellow pail and sanitizing supplies on the cart and thought he was chatting with the cleaning staff.  Without missing a word of the chitchat, the lady gave him his jab, he didn't see it coming, probably for the best.

[Cetacean]

2 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

Guy in front of me passed out cold... but he came to and walked home. I was next.

At the last mass vax clinic I worked I had a young guy do that.  Turns out he didn't eat breakfast and was afraid of needles.  Good thing men don't have to give birth.

[iwantcookies]

If men had to give birth the human race would die out.

[iwantcookies]

Update on me. My arm hurts other than that I feel okay. 

[WhatAmIWatching]

23 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Welp. As much as I thought I was handling this pandemic stress really well has proven to be wrong. My anorexia has been triggered and it’s exactly what I need in my life right now. It’s the only thing I can control. 

I’m so sick of covid and restrictions and the cost of things going up and all of it. I can’t even be treated properly because of covid. Fine, great. Anorexia has my back at least (and I’m good at pretending it’s not anorexia). 

It’s the only way I can handle the world right now. 

Is there anything I can do to support you? I'm so sorry you're struggling, and I really hear you.

I'm having the anxiety and deep depression yuck, and none of the meds we've tried did a thing, (or made it a lot worse), and the other ones we wanted to try, my insurance wouldn't cover. I've made my world really small to keep from drowningk while my brain figures out what it's going to do.

[TurtlePower]

1 hour ago, WhatAmIWatching said:

Is there anything I can do to support you? I'm so sorry you're struggling, and I really hear you.

I'm having the anxiety and deep depression yuck, and none of the meds we've tried did a thing, (or made it a lot worse), and the other ones we wanted to try, my insurance wouldn't cover. I've made my world really small to keep from drowningk while my brain figures out what it's going to do.

Thanks for the kind words. Sometimes that’s all it takes.

I was also given meds that made my anxiety worse, not better, and the therapist on the tele-doc call was an asshole about it.  And because of my autism, I don’t express well on the phone and can’t give a thorough explanation of what’s going with me. And it’s like no one cares who’s supposed to be caring. No wonder suicide are up. But hey, no one cares about those stats—but, COVID! Covid is all anyone cares about these days. 

 

[laurakaye]

3 hours ago, WhatAmIWatching said:

I'm having the anxiety and deep depression yuck, and none of the meds we've tried did a thing, (or made it a lot worse), and the other ones we wanted to try, my insurance wouldn't cover. I've made my world really small to keep from drowningk while my brain figures out what it's going to do.

Making your world small is not such a bad thing, IMO.  I have been doing this for quite awhile - first I stopped watching the news, but that was way before Covid (there was a certain voice I couldn't tolerate hearing).  Then I unfollowed most of my family on social media BUT I would continually check their pages to see what they were saying...it was like, I can't stand the vitriol they spew so let me just check and see if they're still doing it so I can re-trigger my rage and anger, and THEN I can get even more upset that if they can post crap online, why shouldn't I respond?  (I can, of course, but I don't).  I was literally making myself sick with anxiety and I was doing it to myself, for the most part - information overload and wanting so bad to take a stand for all to see on SM...it was nuts.  I felt nuts.  My brain was a hamster wheel of garbage.

On Mother's Day (a complicated day for many), I gave myself a gift and stayed off SM all day long.  It wasn't easy (in fact it was stupid hard), but I had a garden to mulch and a walk to take and a book to read so I kept myself busy instead of intentionally triggering myself just to feel that anger.  I don't know what that says about me but I do understand trying to control the only things you feel like you can control.  But it's tricky when those things cause you physical and mental harm, and it's so easy to just do it anyway because the world sucks right now so who cares? 

But please take care of yourselves.  And then hopefully we can come out of this mess even stronger than when we went in.

[iwantcookies]

4 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Thanks for the kind words. Sometimes that’s all it takes.

I was also given meds that made my anxiety worse, not better, and the therapist on the tele-doc call was an asshole about it.  And because of my autism, I don’t express well on the phone and can’t give a thorough explanation of what’s going with me. And it’s like no one cares who’s supposed to be caring. No wonder suicide are up. But hey, no one cares about those stats—but, COVID! Covid is all anyone cares about these days. 

 

I am so sorry! Can you write it all down before hand or email it to them? I find it so hard to explain myself it helps to write it all down before my session. My therapist also sucks. My insurance sucks , not many take it...

 

Hang in there! 

[iwantcookies]

I was very tired and a bit feverish day 2. Day 3 arm still hurts. Other than that I feel okay.

Review of vaccine over.

[TurtlePower]

18 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

I am so sorry! Can you write it all down before hand or email it to them? I find it so hard to explain myself it helps to write it all down before my session. My therapist also sucks. My insurance sucks , not many take it...

 

Hang in there! 

Thanks! You too. Hugs! Sometimes people here are way more helpful than the paid “professionals”. 

Eating disorders therapists can be terrible unless they’ve been anorexic themselves. All that school they go to and they still don’t “get” it. They can’t relate. It can make a person feel very alone and misunderstood. 

[xwordfanatik]

That is one reason I liked Weight Watchers.  The leaders all had been successful in losing weight, and understood what it's like to be overweight.  I wish Janelle would look into joining WW, and stop with all the 'rock star' crap, especially her latest, MLM Plexus. 

 

[Adiba]

3 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Thanks! You too. Hugs! Sometimes people here are way more helpful than the paid “professionals”. 

Eating disorders therapists can be terrible unless they’ve been anorexic themselves. All that school they go to and they still don’t “get” it. They can’t relate. It can make a person feel very alone and misunderstood. 

I have dealt with my daughter and her anorexia/bulimia--it's pretty much under control at the present time--and what you say is very true, regarding the professionals. Many times I didn't understand their approach to treatment, but it was all we had. She went to one of the leading centers in my state--Hershey (ironic name, isn't it?). She did eventually improve, thankfully, but sometimes the staff seemed very clinical and insensitive.

Sending you good thoughts and know that you are not alone.

 

[Pickleinthemiddle]

1 hour ago, xwordfanatik said:

That is one reason I liked Weight Watchers.  The leaders all had been successful in losing weight, and understood what it's like to be overweight.  I wish Janelle would look into joining WW, and stop with all the 'rock star' crap, especially her latest, MLM Plexus. 

 

My mom has been a member of weight watchers for years.  She first started going in the 70's and lost all the weight.  Kept it off for awhile, then gradually started gaining it back when she went through the change.  Then she had high blood pressure and other things so the doctor told her to lose weight and eat better.  She went right back to weight watchers and now stays within a few pounds of her goal weight.  She said it is the only plan she has ever had success with.  She still puts what she eats into her point counter every day.

[NoWhammies]

6 hours ago, TurtlePower said:

Thanks! You too. Hugs! Sometimes people here are way more helpful than the paid “professionals”. 

Eating disorders therapists can be terrible unless they’ve been anorexic themselves. All that school they go to and they still don’t “get” it. They can’t relate. It can make a person feel very alone and misunderstood. 

Former bulimic here....sending you so much love. I'm sorry you're struggling. 

[WhatAmIWatching]

@monagatuna  
Apologies, extremely long post is extremely long, and also for interrupting the current convo.

On Ravelry there is a consumer advocacy group called the Demon Trolls. This group was started because people got ripped off by a yarn dyer. (Taking money, excuses instead of delivering goods, even faking death. This happens there a lot) Approximately 5-6 years ago, they were alerted that there may be some shady dealings going on in a large, popular group. (I believe there were over 900 members or more at the apex)

 This Irish group was started by a supposed extremely wealthy Irish family, who had dual citizenship in Ireland and US and idk where else. They were all doctors, surgeons, lawyers, philanthropists, farmers, a cheese maker, oil rig workers, heirs to the Guinness fortune, and I don't remember what all. There were at the very least *2 dozen* 'family members', (brothers, sisters, cousins, kids, 107 year old grandma who rode a Harley, in-laws) that signed up to support the first member. All of them apparently knit and designed patterns. The 'family' called their followers, and sometimes themselves, eejits, and attempted to use Google translated Irish, or English with an affected accent. (lots of tis, grand (except spelled grande), oirish, and other stuff. Ok..who writes English with an accent?! Why would anyone consider being called idiot is a form of affection?)

 The main female character started one of the Harry Potter themed forums and set up challenges, games, swaps, and loads of activities. It's a massive forum. From my understanding, she started flaking on some of the swaps, so was denied entry into new ones, which made her angry. She then took herself, family, and many, many followers and started her own space.

***whoops, I'm rongity wrong! She infiltrated the HP group, not created it, and this is where all her 'family' joined and where she started grooming folks!***

 The family designed a crapload of patterns and mostly claimed that the proceeds would go to different charities. (There's a very long list of all the charities that got bupkis) After a natural disaster hit anywhere in the world, some of the 'family' would fly out to assist, but somehow had time to post a pattern for sale to channel funds to a complementary charity.

 Eventually, they started holding raffles for charity, with the group members donating some really nice or expensive items, and the 'family' promising things like a trip to Ireland, iPads and other high ticket items. Wouldn't you know it, their prizes never got delivered for some unclear reason or other, or that our postal system is incompetent. (It's absolutely NOT!) 
 If a group member asked when they could expect their item, the 'family' would act disappointed and mildly bully the person, which started the pile on from everyone else about "You're so ungrateful!" "They're busy saving lives" and usual sycophantic bs like that.

 This went on for over 12 years, with the main money grubbing looking like 6-8. A few of the family died and revived more than once. A couple had cancer, and other serious health issues, with treatments that don't match modern medicine, a few had grueling surgeries, but were back to normal within days, but the group ate it up with a spoon and asked for more.

Finally someone in the Troll group, or one of the other groups that keeps an eye peeled for drama, found out what was going on and started a deep dive for info. They found that 'the family' would hound and threaten someone, by phone, email, Ravelry pm, if they attempted to leave the group. It was reported multiple times to TPTB, but they ignored it until they saw that law enforcement was looking to get involved. 

  The trolls found a couple group members who gave the family their (and their childrens!) identifying info, even ssn's! for promises of employment. <---they suspected there were a lot more people that did this, but knew people were too frightened to speak up.

  This person also actually pretended to be one of the group member's ob/gyn and using a physician id, got herself added to the person's hipaa form AND actually told the attending how to treat her!! <---there's a few stories like this, it's shocking.

  The troll group figured out that the entire gigantic, long-term scam was masterminded by a middle-aged woman in NY. She was a professional con, with many arrests and something like 50 aliases. Her husband may have been involved, but no one was certain.

 When it all started falling apart, many of the group members were pissed. They said they didn't care about the money and stuff, they wanted to keep believing in the 'family'. <---This is the part that hurt my heart the most, though I was angry at their willful gullibility.

   There's just so very much more, but you'd have to read it all to really grasp how huge and wild it was, (I'm not doing it justice, it's truly mind-blowing), and how awesome the trolls are at sleuthing! (I'm not sure if I can do links here, but i can give them in pm if you'd like) I've never seen anything at this scale. Who in the world has the time or energy to create 24+ personas, and keep them mostly straight? Sure, she made probably 10's of thousands over the years, plus random gifts sent, but that's a lot of work for a relatively little payoff.
 

   She did eventually get arrested for embezzlement at the motel she worked at (stealing the money from lodger's reservations) but the fbi and AG were trying to get the Rav folks to add info so they could really put her away. (I believe she only got probation for the Ravelry stuff, but a news article reads she was getting time for the rest)

 Since I remembered this rollercoaster, I've been re-reading a bit. I truly feel for the people who got sucked totally in. I can somewhat understand their reluctance to let the dream go, but also my goodness, didn't they ever learn about internet safety?

  From the advocacy group, I learned one shouldn't ever cross a knitter. Knitters are used to working on a project for a long time; can see patterns where many wouldn't; are used to unraveling knots that seem impossible; they will let everyone know if you've shown your ass on the internet, or ripped them off. Law enforcement needs more knitters.

Edited May 13, 2021 by WhatAmIWatching
corrected ear burn

[MargeGunderson]

Wow, what a crazy read! That sounds bonkers.

[monagatuna]

@WhatAmIWatching thank you for posting this! I am so interested in cultlike behavior (like MLMs and polygamous groups and such) and this is right up their alley! Apologies as well for asking What to interrupt the current conversation but I wanted to learn more and it wasn't appropriate to continue the discussion in the thread it was in. Thank you, What!

[TurtlePower]

17 hours ago, NoWhammies said:

Former bulimic here....sending you so much love. I'm sorry you're struggling. 

Sincere thank you and thanks to everyone for the kind words. I really appreciate it. 

[Yeah No]

@Teafortwo are you out there?  You haven't posted since May 7 and I'm concerned about you given your biopsy.

Has anyone heard from her?  I wrote her privately days ago but haven't heard back. 😟

[Teafortwo]

Got back early this AM from going to my friend's memorial service. Was amazing to be completely off social media for almost 4 days, except that my friend showed me some posts from our other friends on her and her dearly beloved husband.

I got the biopsy results in just 2 days which was amazing, and it was great that I was surrounded by so many wonderful people in my friend's extended family, plus our other mutual friends who came in to town etc. I have a very small tumor and thankfully they called me early enough on Thursday that I was able to get a referral to a surgeon from my gyno, AND schedule a consult for this Friday. After that they schedule surgery. I think it will be fine. EARLY DETECTION EVERYONE! Thanks to those who've reached out with supportive lovely DMs and to everyone on here. I may have some questions for those who've experienced this. But after a couple days of anxiety I have taken a deep breath and feeling pretty positive. The idea of it does suck though! 

[Absolom]

May it all go well for you, @Teafortwo.

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Teafortwo said:

Got back early this AM from going to my friend's memorial service. Was amazing to be completely off social media for almost 4 days, except that my friend showed me some posts from our other friends on her and her dearly beloved husband.

I got the biopsy results in just 2 days which was amazing, and it was great that I was surrounded by so many wonderful people in my friend's extended family, plus our other mutual friends who came in to town etc. I have a very small tumor and thankfully they called me early enough on Thursday that I was able to get a referral to a surgeon from my gyno, AND schedule a consult for this Friday. After that they schedule surgery. I think it will be fine. EARLY DETECTION EVERYONE! Thanks to those who've reached out with supportive lovely DMs and to everyone on here. I may have some questions for those who've experienced this. But after a couple days of anxiety I have taken a deep breath and feeling pretty positive. The idea of it does suck though! 

Thank goodness, I am relieved and happy for you that you have had relatively good news and will continue to pull for you.  It sounds like you have good support but any time you need to talk here don't hesitate. 

My symptoms have gone away but of course I still worry and definitely won't miss my upcoming mammogram....

Edited May 16, 2021 by Yeah No