Season 3 Discussion

[guilfoyleatpp]

Ok, I can't believe I'm taking up for Mark here (he still needs to get a real doll) but he moves pianos for a job. He probably has some type of training as a musician. Every time you transport a piano, not only do you have to move it cautiously, you have to tune it after it's settled, which is also quite difficult. And most of the people I've met who tune pianos are not laid back types.  They're rather fussy and persnickety, which also fits in with Mark. You have to be a perfectionist to tune a piano. 

 

I assume has has a number of pianos and keyboards in his house because he loves them. And when you do that sort of job, you inherit all sorts of orphan instruments. 

I still feel bad for Nikki. She's stuck now. She definitely doesn't want to go back the the Philippines. Mark is threatening her by saying "no kids or you get the heave-ho!" I feel like I dated this type of dude when I was a young woman. It's so fucking exhausting and you don't realize that it doesn't have to be that way because you're INEXPERIENCED!

 

Seeing how awkward and uncomfortable Josh's dad is (he always just answers the question instead of trying to say something comforting or encouraging), I can totally see that Josh's awkwardness and literalness is a family trait. He doesn't seem unkind to me, just confused by a lot of words coming at him from a young woman who doesn't speak English in the way he is accustomed to. 

Edited November 17, 2015 by guilfoyleatpp

[RCharter]

^^I'm assuming he has had some sort of training, because he started to play the piano at some point during the episode..

[BravoAddict72]

I feel like Mark is more of a Taster's Choice sophisticated type of man

 

Seriously though, I don't even understand Marks house.  There is some room with a fireplace like a living room, but he has a table and folding chairs in there? and it backs right up to the kitchen....there isn't even a breakfast nook or anything.  Its just a confusing house to me.  Maybe because he has random music stuff in almost every room.  And I know that there is some problem with that carpeting.  Mark seems like a very tidy sort of guy, so how in the world did the carpet get so dirty that the bottom of his feet looked dragged in coal?

 

Josh's mother is giving me some Jeanne Tripllehorn in Big Love realness.  I thought it was sweet that she seemed like she was almost going to cry when Alexesandra said something about how she just wanted to make Josh happy or something along those lines.  I get the impression that Mom is a demure, sweet Mormon wife who just wants the best for her son.  Dad still seems judgy to me.

I am thinking he is more of a Sanka man ;). And I just bet he has drawers full of sugar packets, sweet-n-low packets, ketchup, and jelly from all of his early bird specials.

[RCharter]

I am thinking he is more of a Sanka man ;). And I just bet he has drawers full of sugar packets, sweet-n-low packets, ketchup, and jelly from all of his early bird specials.

sweet n'low!  you are taking it ALL the way back!  Maybe some Equal?  

 

But I can't put on airs, I have ziploc bags full of ketchup packets :)

 

A Sanka Specimen?  It sounds so right!

[Toaster Strudel]

I think that Mark has that baby grand in what would normally be his living room, maybe? I'm going to start paying more attention because from the outside, the house looks big. Maybe he's a hoarder and there are rooms filled to the brim. Nah... TLC would be all over that, wanting to show it.

 

Yeah, there is a lot of mess and piles of stuff in corners in that house.  Before Nikki took the books off the shelves, they looked like they had been placed by an explosion.  Mark's "OCD" is in his head... I think he's a hoarder... but he's such a cheapskate that he can only make tiny piles, LOL.

 

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

I'm watching now and have to agree. Not sure if anyone noticed but Josh's mom smiled, chuckled even, when saying good morning to Aleksandra. This family isn't what has been portrayed. But that really shouldn't come as a surprise.

ETA: Josh's dad was really trying to be reassuring when he told her that it was fine, it's ok in reply to her saying nobody would understand her reading.

I agree... I could see the light pouring in through the blinds!!! Also, did Alexandra dye her hair? It looked darker this episode... Wasn't sure if Mormons would be game for that?

[Kiss my mutt]

How would Alexi be able to model? Isn't that considered work? Maybe she just wanted to show him off like a piece of meat. It just seemed so demeaning considering he didn't want to be doing it and just as bad as if a guy was pressuring his girl to "take pictures". I guess Loren got all the looks in her family but she is annoying af.

I'm confused by the Florida condo they are living in. It looks pretty dumpy and I figured they had more money as they must have been subsidizing some of Loren's expenses in New York.

[locomoco]

How would Alexi be able to model? Isn't that considered work?

I think they'd try to get paid under the table... One of the fiances from season one did some modeling work before she got her work card, so I'm guessing it's not hard to fudge payments.

[OhioMom]

When I said a few weeks ago that Loren was pitching for a Jewish Karsdahsian daughter spin off I was way wrong, she wants to be the Kardahsian stage MOM! What a tool.

Is it bad that I am rooting for Nikki to marry Mark then vanish once she gets her green card, she is earning it every step of the way and the just desserts of Mark home alone re reading his divorce books would be awesome.

Melanie's lisp and vocal fry are insufferably difficult to listen to.

Kyle and Noon will not get any academy awards anytime soon. That was action cut scene. Staged for dramz.

The Mormons scare me. I hope the infantile Mormons have a happy marriage and become hip liberal Mormons.

Make party? MAKE PARTY. wtf Mark.

I think Melanie's lisp is caused by having a ball in her tongue, whatever those things are called  (I know that sounds bad!).  I thought I caught a glimpse of it in one of the first episodes.  I know someone with a pierced tongue who has the same speech issue.

[WhoAmIReally]

I still feel bad for Nikki. She's stuck now. She definitely doesn't want to go back the the Philippines. Mark is threatening her by saying "no kids or you get the heave-ho!" I feel like I dated this type of dude when I was a young woman. It's so fucking exhausting and you don't realize that it doesn't have to be that way because you're INEXPERIENCED!

 

But for her it has to be that way.  She's there on his dime and his sufference.  Whether she gets to stay or whether they get married is his decision.  It's not like it's a normal relationship.  He went to a marketplace where girls were selling themselves and picked someone who said she was what he was looking for.  It's pretty much a business deal, because, like I said before, there's no real love on either side.  They are both sad people trapped in a sad situation that's going downhill fast.

 

I'm not understanding all these people who are saying she should get her green card and take off with someone else.  Her green card is conditional for two years, and if she left for someone else, it would probably suggest to immigration that she did not enter the marriage in good faith, right?

[WhoAmIReally]

Well Mark wants to have something else to hold over Nikki's head so she will behave the way he wants her to.  Right now, the minute she acts in a way he doesn't like he starts talking about "sending her back" like she is a blender to return to Sears. 

 

I don't know, at least a blender is useful.

[BethBud]

I'm not understanding all these people who are saying she should get her green card and take off with someone else.  Her green card is conditional for two years, and if she left for someone else, it would probably suggest to immigration that she did not enter the marriage in good faith, right?

 

Yes agreed. So if she wanted to use him for a green card, she'd have to stick it out until after the conditions on her green card have been removed.

[RCharter]

But for her it has to be that way.  She's there on his dime and his sufference.  Whether she gets to stay or whether they get married is his decision.  It's not like it's a normal relationship.  He went to a marketplace where girls were selling themselves and picked someone who said she was what he was looking for.  It's pretty much a business deal, because, like I said before, there's no real love on either side.  They are both sad people trapped in a sad situation that's going downhill fast.

 

I'm not understanding all these people who are saying she should get her green card and take off with someone else.  Her green card is conditional for two years, and if she left for someone else, it would probably suggest to immigration that she did not enter the marriage in good faith, right?

I would tell her to wait out the two years and run for the hills. If I were her I would get a calendar and mark off the days.

[RCharter]

I don't know, at least a blender is useful.

And so is she.  She helps his ego much more than a blender ever could.  And if she has to do any work in the bedroom, she certainly is more useful than a blender.  i feel like she got the short end of the stick.

[deltaburkefan]

I think Mark's feet are dirty from going outside, not the carpets. Otherwise, his house confuses me. It seems to be in a great location, but obviously it hasn't been updated since Cheers was on the air and all of the finishes, doors, cabinets etc. seem really cheap.

[Honley Lass]

I think Mark's feet are dirty from going outside, not the carpets. Otherwise, his house confuses me. It seems to be in a great location, but obviously it hasn't been updated since Cheers was on the air and all of the finishes, doors, cabinets etc. seem really cheap.

 

You'd think having a house right on the water that it would have a "beachy" decor inside.  His decorating sense is non-existent!

[biakbiak]

I realize this doesn't matter but Marks pancakes looked on point even if he did reheat them in the microwave.

[GracieK]

I realize this doesn't matter but Marks pancakes looked on point even if he did reheat them in the microwave.

 

I have a feeling they were these and not made from scratch...

 

[WhoAmIReally]

You'd think having a house right on the water that it would have a "beachy" decor inside.  His decorating sense is non-existent!

He lives in a crowded development on the Chesapeake Bay.  The way his house is decorated pretty much fits in with the area. More sludge-y than beachy.

[WhoAmIReally]

Short end of the stick?  Are you making a funny?  And he did lose that blender lid--maybe it was his special friend before she arrived?

[cooksdelight]

Maybe Alexi can just do those underwear ads where they shoot him from the neck down. I don't know how that will work for Loren's ego, but if she really is just concerned with money that shouldn't bother her at all....

I believe the model shoot happened in the most recent episode, not this one. Please everyone, be careful what you post, and where, as some people are just getting caught up. Thanks!

[Lemons]

The bottom looked great and the top was totally unflattering.  She needs a push up bikini. .something like this type on the right...

 

 

 

I am skinny and flat chested and I would not have worn that bikini top.  I don't bother trying to fake cleavage either.  There are plenty of bathing suits that look good on flat chested women.  I can't imagine why she chose that one.

Edited November 18, 2015 by Lemons

[RCharter]

I have a feeling they were these and not made from scratch...

 

Well, they were made from scratch at some point.......

[Momof2boyz]

I am skinny and flat chested and I would not have worn that bikini top.  I don't bother trying to fake cleavage either.  There are plenty of bathing suits that look good on flat chested women.  I can't imagine why she chose that one.

I think she is gorgeous and has a fabulous body.  I am also thin (somewhat - I was thinner in my 20s before kids) and small chested and I could not pull that bathing suit off.  I think she did.  Her personality is another thing, but very typical Long Island JAP diva.

 

PS I am also Jewish and from New York so I know this type all too well!

Edited November 18, 2015 by Momof2boyz

[Drogo]

Listening from the next room, I realized who Loren sounds like.  Someone who routinely twists to maximum allowable torqueage.
 

 

ETA:  Similar in voice only...  Mona Lisa Vito was a likeable character whose dedication to her fiance and support of his occupational dreams was unsurpassed.

[trimthatfat]

How would Alexi be able to model? Isn't that considered work? Maybe she just wanted to show him off like a piece of meat. It just seemed so demeaning considering he didn't want to be doing it and just as bad as if a guy was pressuring his girl to "take pictures". I guess Loren got all the looks in her family but she is annoying af.

 

ITA. If the roles were reversed and Alexei was encouraging Loren to take topless pics for her 'modeling' career, I'd think he was skeevy and gross. Loren did not come off well, IMO. She seems incredibly immature, shallow, and self-centered. Didn't Alexei say he wanted to be a cop or a firefighter? I hope he goes that route. He'll have a stable salary. Since Loren is unemployed and seems to live in la-la dream land, it's probably best Alexei focuses on his career goals.

[bichonblitz]

 

Seriously, his house depresses the shit out of me. So dark and cheerless. And you know that wall to wall carpet reeks.

Right??? Did you notice the folding card table and chairs he's using in the dining room? WTF? I hate his house. It hasn't been touched since the 70's. And there is no bedroom furniture in his bedroom with the zebra striped sheets. 

 

I have a feeling that Loren went through high school looking like her sister and her mom. Then she moved to NYC and got skinny, grew her hair, and now she thinks she's just too cute. 

[cooksdelight]

 

Tensions rise with Fernando's mom. Mark's past causes problems with Nikki. Alexandra's parents arrive in America and question the Mormon lifestlye. Noon addresses Kyle's distance from his family and Alexei and Loren argue about his modeling career.

 

[Granny58]

I think Mark's feet are dirty from going outside, not the carpets. Otherwise, his house confuses me. It seems to be in a great location, but obviously it hasn't been updated since Cheers was on the air and all of the finishes, doors, cabinets etc. seem really cheap.

is there a lot of money in selling, moving and tuning pianos?  He may actually not have much, and saved like a squirrel to get enough to buy a woman in Thailand and provide her a car.  Therefore, the folding chairs in the dining area etc, sheets from the 1970s, original decor.  

[RCharter]

is there a lot of money in selling, moving and tuning pianos?  He may actually not have much, and saved like a squirrel to get enough to buy a woman in Thailand and provide her a car.  Therefore, the folding chairs in the dining area etc, sheets from the 1970s, original decor.  

I think you're onto something there.  Although, I think she is from the Philippines....but I do think guys who think of women as commodities will often go overseas to get a "deal."  

 

Someone pointed out the 80's track lighting and now its all I can see with those pink walls and zebra print sheets.  Its like Nikki went to bed and woke up on Miami Vice.....

[Granny58]

I think you're onto something there.  Although, I think she is from the Philippines....but I do think guys who think of women as commodities will often go overseas to get a "deal."  

 

Someone pointed out the 80's track lighting and now its all I can see with those pink walls and zebra print sheets.  Its like Nikki went to bed and woke up on Miami Vice.....

you're right....Philippines.  MV...LOL.  

[LillysPad]

I think you're onto something there.  Although, I think she is from the Philippines....but I do think guys who think of women as commodities will often go overseas to get a "deal."  

 

Someone pointed out the 80's track lighting and now its all I can see with those pink walls and zebra print sheets.  Its like Nikki went to bed and woke up on Miami Vice.....

 

I can't stop looking at that wall phone in the bedroom.

[LillysPad]

I too wondered how they could get Loren's guy got a paid job.

When Mark mentioned his sister coming for breakfast, I really thought it was going to be the lady who went for a boat ride.

[cooksdelight]

The woman who pounced on the pancakes is his cousin.

[Kangatush]

Mark so does not want to be in a relationship with an actual person. You had your period and were moody? Get thee back to the Philippines! A week in bed is a bit much, but what does she have to look forward to out of bed? An old man constantly treating her like a child and/or his ex wife? I'd sleep too. The proper response would be, "Hey Nikki, it looks like your period takes a lot out of you. Would you like to see a doctor who might have some ideas on how to make life easier on you?" Yes, one of those options might be birth control, but it might not be. Yes, he was upfront about not wanting kids. At 19, I would have been fine with that. But over the next twenty child bearing years of my life, I might change my mind. Like she might. He should be open to the conversation. "Nikki, children can put a lot of stress on a relationship. But I understand that you're young, and being a mom might grow to be important to you. Why don't we agree to discuss it on our 5 year anniversary?"

Alexsi is a horrible model. Because he does not want to be a model. Back off Loren.

Noon, no good can come from you just hanging out at Kyle's job for hours. He did nothing inappropriate. Conversation isn't cheating. Especially not that kind of conversation.

Josh nailed it with the suggestion that Aleksandra should go to the crack of dawn readings. They did seem to relax around her and be more accepting. Side note: Were they really just reading? No conversation about the meaning of what they just read? What's the point?

Melanie is a fool. Devar is slick. But they totally deserve each other.

[WhoAmIReally]

"Nikki, children can put a lot of stress on a relationship. But I understand that you're young, and being a mom might grow to be important to you. Why don't we agree to discuss it on our 5 year anniversary?"

 

I agree with your post, but I don't think he's going to want an infant at age 64.  He would be foolish to offer this as an option if he's dead set against it, because she may marry him thinking he'll agree to it in five years.  If she wants a kid, they should not get married, plain and simple.  She's going to end up as a single mother, and he's going to be pissed to be divorced in five years AND paying child support.  Even if they don't have a kid, this is not going to end well, so I hope he gets a pre-nup.  And a vasectomy, obviously. 

 

I was also convinced Devar was slick, but then I thought he may have said he was sending 90% of his money home because he was seething mad at those ugly, bitchy sisters and is too polite to be more aggressive.  If they were that nasty to me, I would also fuck with their peabrains.

[LillysPad]

The woman who pounced on the pancakes is his cousin.

The woman in the green right?   "My sister and niece and nephew are showing up. They're from out west. Colorado."  ;)

[cooksdelight]

You're right, I heard him say "cousin" and I lost track of who's who.

[Celia Rubenstein]

I have a feeling that Loren went through high school looking like her sister and her mom. Then she moved to NYC and got skinny, grew her hair, and now she thinks she's just too cute. 

 

I am leaning towards there was a mix-up at the hospital or an adoption that is going unmentioned or something. Because Loren looks NOTHING like her mother or sister.  And usually (not always, of course) when one kid resembles one parent that much, usually the other kids will at least have some resemblance to that parent, too.  Or maybe look like the other parent or something, I don't know.  But, man ...  Loren looks like she got dropped off in a basket on their doorstep.  No biological relation to anyone in that house at all. 

 

Her parents' condo is totally nothing special, but it is probably still very expensive just because it is in Boca.  They could probably take what they spent on it and buy a really awesome place in the next town over.  But it wouldn't be Boca, of course, and I think that is the key thing. 

 

That reminds me of a funny Boca story ... my in-laws live there, and my MIL was a real estate agent in Boca.  She sold houses in a very fancy development while they were in the building stage, and when some people who bought there went to close or move in or whatever, they discovered to their HORROR they actually had a Delray Beach address!!! omg the shame of it all .... their houses were located just a smidgen over the line and they actually SUED the development for misrepresentation.  Having a Boca address is truly that important to some people.  They will settle for less house if they have to, just so they can "live in Boca."

 

If they got rid of some of that ugly furniture, the place would look so much better.  The overstuffed couches with the wide arms eat up too much space, and they hardly need wrought iron screens to break up the space.  It just makes the place feel more cluttered.  And get rid of that big ugly oak rolltop desk (that probably holds a box of envelopes and a pair of scissors and not much more).  I know it belonged to grandma or somebody and you love it, but it is the size of a small car and you don't need it as much as you need room to turn around in that little chicken coop! 

Edited November 21, 2015 by Celia Rubenstein

[LillysPad]

You're right, I heard him say "cousin" and I lost track of who's who.

NP ;-)

[bichonblitz]

I am leaning towards there was a mix-up at the hospital or an adoption that is going unmentioned or something. Because Loren looks NOTHING like her mother or sister.  And usually (not always, of course) when one kid resembles one parent that much, usually the other kids will at least have some resemblance to that parent, too.  Or maybe look like the other parent or something, I don't know.  But, man ...  Loren looks like she got dropped off in a basket on their doorstep.  No biological relation to anyone in that house at all. 

 

Would it be unfeeling of me to say she is lucky?  sorry

 

 

Actually, I think there is a very strong family resemblance in the face between her, her mom and sister. They have the same features. It's the heaviness of the sister and mother that are throwing you off. 

[trimthatfat]

If having children is important to Nikki, it is on her to find a man who wants that in his life. Mark is in his 50s and and I don't know anyone in their 50s who wants to start over and care for an infant. It seems like he was upfront about not wanting children and Nikki still wanted to be with him.  Mark should not promise to revisit the conversation in 5 years - that's not fair to either of them because if Mark still feels uncomfortable with having children again and Nikki still wants to be a mom, they are right back where they were before.

[WhoAmIReally]

If having children is important to Nikki, it is on her to find a man who wants that in his life. Mark is in his 50s and and I don't know anyone in their 50s who wants to start over and care for an infant. It seems like he was upfront about not wanting children and Nikki still wanted to be with him.  Mark should not promise to revisit the conversation in 5 years - that's not fair to either of them because if Mark still feels uncomfortable with having children again and Nikki still wants to be a mom, they are right back where they were before.

 

Agree, but not exactly where they were before--at that point Nikki can leave him and stay in the country, so she'll have used him for that.  And I doubt Immigration will grant him a third K1 Visa for a new foreign bride (I'm assuming there's a lifetime limit?), so he'll be stuck with some 30-year-old American if he wants a new woman.  Horrors!  Or, better for him, he can stay alone and enjoy the rest of his life without strife.

[locomoco]

And I doubt Immigration will grant him a third K1 Visa for a new foreign bride (I'm assuming there's a lifetime limit?)

I don't know if there's an actual limit, but my friend's dad has had 3 Filipino mail-order brides. (Sequentially, not simultaneously)

Edited November 20, 2015 by locomoco

[deltaburkefan]

Their condo seemed old and in a not-so-nice location. My family lives in Palm Beach County but farther north, and it looked pretty crappy for the area to my eyes. Just a small ground floor condo that seemed pretty old and facing the parking lot. Like a place senior citizens would live in. I would expect probably something more like a townhouse in a gated community at least for people who supposedly supporting their daughter's Carrie Bradshaw dreams.

[millennium]

Melanie is a fool. Devar is slick. But they totally deserve each other.

 

"Most definitely."

[IvySpice]

 

If the roles were reversed and Alexei was encouraging Loren to take topless pics for her 'modeling' career, I'd think he was skeevy and gross.

That's what I kept thinking. Can you imagine if one of the guys were talking about his fiancee this way: "Look at those luscious knockers! I can't believe how tight her ass is. Everyone loves checking her out. Yum yum yum!"? I'm no prude, but he is clearly not into being objectified that way, and it's disgusting.

 

So much word on Loren turning into a stage mom. I thought I was watching Toddlers and Tiaras. She's going to take Alexei for his spray tan next. And drug him with Pixy Stix while she tortures his hair.

 

I'm super into Alexei -- I just married a tall, skinny Jewish guy myself. There are lots of girls (and guys) into this type. RUN, man, RUN!!

 

Re Nikki and her delusion about Mark changing his mind and wanting kids...classic teenage magical thinking. A lot of us make this mistake with our first loves. If you think of her as the college freshman that she ought to be, it's understandable.

Edited November 20, 2015 by IvySpice

[RCharter]

Agree, but not exactly where they were before--at that point Nikki can leave him and stay in the country, so she'll have used him for that.  And I doubt Immigration will grant him a third K1 Visa for a new foreign bride (I'm assuming there's a lifetime limit?), so he'll be stuck with some 30-year-old American if he wants a new woman.  Horrors!  Or, better for him, he can stay alone and enjoy the rest of his life without strife.

I honestly can not imagine a stable, attractive, reasonable 30 year old woman that would want anything to do with a 60 year old man.

 

He is going to be stuck dating women his own age....if they will have him.

 

"Most definitely."

"Oh yes."

[WhoAmIReally]

I don't know if there's an actual limit, but my friend's dad has had 3 Filipino mail-order brides. (Sequentially, not simultaneously)

 

I'm afraid to ask what happened to them all. . .

 

I honestly can not imagine a stable, attractive, reasonable 30 year old woman that would want anything to do with a 60 year old man.

 

It never occurred to be that they would be stable, attractive, or reasonable.  More like desperate and sun-damaged with bad credit.

[RCharter]

I'm afraid to ask what happened to them all. . .

 

 

It never occurred to be that they would be stable, attractive, or reasonable.  More like desperate and sun-damaged with bad credit.

I still feel like a desperate and sun damaged 30 year old woman would have better options, unless she has spent a summer on the surface of the sun.  :)