Mark & Nikki: Touch That Window, Lose Your Hand

[okerry]

I also posted this in one of the TLC forums: Mark is one of those men who's been trying to buy women all his life, and becomes massively frustrated when that doesn't work here in the U.S. He was bitching his head off that he would spend all that money on roses and five-star dinners and it still didn't "work" - meaning his dates STILL wouldn't jump into bed with him. He hasn't got the first clue that a female is a human being who has to be courted and won, and would never understand what that means. Somewhere he got the idea that everyone - male and female - is supposed to buy and trade for sex, and when the women here wouldn't play that game he blamed THEM and went to a poor country where many women will do almost anything to get out. He'd never get a teenager here, or any other attractive woman willing to trade sex for his ex-wife's old car. It's too bad nobody ever taught him how to deal with women properly, but he's an utter failure at it. (apologies to the sweet daughter - it's not your fault.)

 

Mark is one of those people who does not understand that sex is a privilege to be earned, not a right to be demanded. That MOST women are not for sale and shouldn't be. But he can't understand why American women won't sell themselves for roses and dinner, so he went to a place where there are proper women that he can buy. Who just happen to be teenagers.

[Nancybeth]

I didn't even watch the entire "Tell All" special but from the few minutes I saw, Mark is also a MISOGYNIST.  His response about all the haters online being fat single women was disgusting.

[jujuebes]

I didn't even watch the entire "Tell All" special but from the few minutes I saw, Mark is also a MISOGYNIST.  His response about all the haters online being fat single women was disgusting.

 I'm a male and I hate mark, but I only watch this show for my wife...

 

As a male it's like.. awesome a hot younger woman, but that age difference and just seeing them together it's very disgusting, more so because of Mark's personality and there being ZERO love. Every scene they were in public I just imagined the thoughts going through everyones mind that looked at them; even at the tell all there were weird looks.

[cooksdelight]

If I saw the two of them walking down the street, hand-in-hand, my first thought would be "Awwww....isn't his adopted daughter beautiful?" Then I'd see the wedding rings and barf.

[Lion18]

Didn't they say at the beginning of the show that two couples almost didn't make the show? One was Loren and Alexi who was the second couple?

[Passthepopcorn]

I have been on the sidelines forever but have a couple of comments on the most hate worthy couple (if you can call them that) of the season. First, I looked at a couple of mail-order bride sites for the Philippines and there are hundreds of girls and women grouped by age categories. Plenty in the age-appropriate range for Mark, meaning he chose to look at the junior level girls. So I don't think the comments against him are out of place.  

Maybe he did a search looking for girls in Nabu and couldn't resist. No matter the age, he found the clone. But yes, all very weird and ugh.

[Pnowling]

Wow, I love reading all of these posts! I've been feeling the same way about Mark all season. He's so skeevy and also has some serious screws loose (trying to turn her into his ex wife). I didn't think it would be possible to feel sorry for Nicki but I do!!! Getting ready to watch the tell all now. I'm sure my opinion of Mark, the freak, won't change a bit.

[ExplainItAgain]

Didn't they say at the beginning of the show that two couples almost didn't make the show? One was Loren and Alexi who was the second couple?

 

I thought I heard this too, but thinking back maybe she said "two of you" instead of two couples? In that case, Alexei and Loren are two I suppose. Don't know if I misheard or if they said it that way on purpose for the DRAMAZ.

Edited December 7, 2015 by ExplainItAgain

[Pnowling]

Oh, and I don't blame Nicki for sleeping all day. She is obviously depressed.

[cooksdelight]

Oh, and I don't blame Nicki for sleeping all day. She is obviously depressed.

Bingo! That's the first thing I thought also. Mark is clueless, he should get her to a doctor so she can be evaluated. But you know Mark, he'd insist on sitting next to her and directing the conversation.

[Pnowling]

Totally agree with that! What is she supposed to do all day with him gone and no kids ever..? I would sleep too. LOL. Not sure that prenup would hold up in court.... She's under a time duress with the 90 days. Just saying that certain things invalidate the prenups.

[Pnowling]

One last thought.... This is one situation where I would support someone coming here, getting a green card and then getting a divorce. That's what Nicki should do if she can stand being married to him long enough.

[ZaldamoWilder]

I don't see anything nice or sweet about Nikki. I honestly do not think she is pretty...she is very young and thin, and has long hair but it looks dirty. She does not seem to dress up or wear makeup or jewelry, she lays around. Has no interests. I wish we had seen more of her life "back home"....family, friends...the "Karaoke bar" where she did whatever work she did?

 

I really see  "hunter gets captured by the game" here.....creepy Mark wanted a young, hot do-over of his first marriage with a willing energetic cute young girl to love the specimen and look up to him - he got.... sullen.Nikki

 

Nikki wanted to come to America, I don't think she wants a green card so much cause she has no intention of working....she wanted a meal ticket. She saw a guy who owned a house on the water and owned his own business....boom...lazy Nikki latched on.

Then she got Mark, zebra sheets and his crazy ways. I do think he has something more going on - Aspringers, on the "spectrum" ?

He supposedly not only rents the pianos but tunes them....some high functioning people have a very specific talent or interest that they do well with

I don't see Mark as a musician although he may be able to play piano...but I do see him as a very finicky, precise focused  "tuner"

 

Winner: Most Brilliant Inadvertent Thread Name

 

I can totally see Nikki standing on the beach in her $10 wedding gown and dollar store flip flops, with Mark bestowing a 24-karat gold electroplated piece of crap on her ("It's 24 karat gold, Nikki! Smile!!!").  Nothing but the best for his songbird.

 

Fly away, Nikki !!!  While the cage door is still open, fly fly BE FREE!!! 

 

There's a Maya Angelou joke in here somewhere, but my brain is struggling. 

 

I've done the 90 Day Fiance visa myself, but I haven't been on the show.  My experience is relevant to Mark because at 53 (6 years ago) I also didn't want more children.  I was communicating with a number of women online including one who was 20 and very attractive and had no children.  Finally I decided to meet my wife instead who was 29 (or her birth certificate said 33) and already had one child.  I think most of these women lie about their age.  I told her I probably didn't want more children and I believed she was OK with that since she already had a 10 year old son.  I didn't meet the 20 year old because I did the math that Mark wants to ignore.  It's not fair or reasonable to ask and expect that a 19 or 20 year old with no children will not want to have them later and here in the US she can eventually get those children even if it means finding another man.  Mark has only himself to blame for ignoring that reality if she later leaves him for another man.  So even though the 20 year old begged and seemed genuinely disappointed, I never met her which is what Mark should've done, but he was "thinking with the wrong head".  Nikki is cute, but so are a lot of women in their 30s and 40s and even some in their 50s (look up Maribel Guardia).  If you don't want more children that's the smart play.

 

I could just be in my feelings because I'm 47 and fine as fuck, but I don't know whether to go buy a hari kari sword or just keep giggling.   Even?  Michelle Obama, Janet Jackson, Sofia Vergara, Christie Brinkley and I think that was some cold shit playa.

 

This guy is such an asshole, I just want to smack his face. On this Tell All episode his assholeness is really coming to light. Everything he says is controlling or obnoxious or a put down. He really is right up there with one of my most despised reality personalities ever. The rest of the people on the show are nice enough but this guy is horrible. Very few women would put up with this smug asshole.

 

is how we get to:

 

I am Blown away about this guy..I know she is over 18 and an adult, but still a child. Come on don't use bringing her to country and a new life,  just because he can't find a women closer to his age that will put up with his BS.. .   She is from the Philippines and she does not speak the language well  and clearly is young and naive. This guy is totally taking advantage of her.  He says women in America do not  appreciate him WHAT??? Is he serious? He keeps talking about the skin under his chin? WHAT ?? That is called aging something he is clearly is in denial is happening to him..  When I look at him talk to her and hear her say she has no choice. I feel sad for her she has encountered a predator, a  dirty selfish old man who says what is hers is hers and what is his is his ( Hello she has nothing, came to this country with nothing under false pretenses of a better life)  This guy explain away a prenup  using the exaggerated example she could become next top model and he wouldn't get any of the proceeds...  Give me a break..When he basically tells her she gets nothing, he is giving her a roof over her head and food.. She could live in a homeless shelter and be better off than with this piece of work. Also  she can't have children is another condition and she is 19 years old? she is a baby .. This guy is in need of  a reality check.. He needs to either be alone or find someone who is more like him, don't ruin this poor young girl.. She keeps giving stuff up ..to see her say she would like a child and grandpa tell her in 10 years he does not want her to be hounding him? This show must be testing us..I can't imagine this is real. I want to stop watching but it is such a train wreck I can't look away..I want Nikki to go back to the Philippines  and be with people who love her and want the best for her.. this guy does not.. . Please let it end soon. Even his daughter can see it.. 

 

If the guys Chris Hansen was jumping out of the closet to scare the shit out of a few years ago had only waited a year or two more, they too could've found stardom.   Who knew?

[charmed1]

I don't think Mark just wants a woman like Nikki. I think he feels entitled to a beautiful, young, malleable, silent and perpetually happy she-bot. He's one of those men who think it's owed to them. The type who'd say you weren't that hot anyway after you rejected them. I think there are plenty of women who would have dated Mark. They probably didn't meet his specifications though. They're probably equal in age, attractiveness, personality and intelligence to him and he doesn't want that.

[CofCinci]

Oh, and I don't blame Nicki for sleeping all day. She is obviously depressed.

I figured her circadian clock was set to sleep during the day and be up at night because she worked in the "karaoke" clubs. If she's making money, she's probably up until past 4am.

[jujuebes]

One last thought.... This is one situation where I would support someone coming here, getting a green card and then getting a divorce. That's what Nicki should do if she can stand being married to him long enough.

 

I know everyone hates Mark, but how can you say something like this knowing it's just another evil?

 

If Mark really was the perfect guy, would everyone be complaining about Nikki? Just because one evil is less than the other doesn't make it right.

Edited December 7, 2015 by jujuebes

[Pnowling]

True, I was speaking rashly and off the cuff because guys like Mark bring out the worst in me. Nicki is far from perfect and wouldn't contribute much to our society. If they did wind up happy together that would be cool. Surprising but cool.

[millennium]

Whoa, do you hate Nikki or what? Grifter? Don't see it.

 

 

IMHO, Nikki got exactly the man she deserves.

 

I think they were conning each other and Mark turned out to be better at it -- for the moment, anyway.

Edited December 7, 2015 by millennium

[RCharter]

I know everyone hates Mark, but how can you say something like this knowing it's just another evil?

 

If Mark really was the perfect guy, would everyone be complaining about Nikki? Just because one evil is less than the other doesn't make it right.

I think if you have to work that hard to become a US Citizen, you will likely appreciate it and value it more than many people who are simply citizens by luck of birth.  I think staying married to Mark is a LOT of work, and I know she must really value becoming a US Citizen to put up with that old, skeevy asshat.  People who appreciate being a US citizen (whether by birth, or by circumstance) seem to contribute the most to our society, because they value what this country.

 

I don't think Nikki is some golddigger.  She is the one that went online to find a $10 wedding dress, she signed a pre-nup that leaves her with absolutely nothing (which may work in her favor if a judge determines its unconscionable).  Her laying in bed all day could simply be depression, because I suspect the Mark in the Phillipines trying to win her over is different than the Mark that she has now that she has left her entire life behind and has let go of her other options.

[GracieK]

Regardless of whether or not Nikki is a gold digger, no one deserves to be abused, and I think he is abusive.  I am not excusing gold digging, but I see Nikki as wanting a better life, and believing she could be happy with Mark.  I think she got in way over her head and had no idea he would be so controlling and emotionally manipulative.  Watching the show I just thought he was creepy... after seeing the Tell All I am now convinced that he's unstable.  Misogyny is born out of hatred... hatred can be a very dangerous thing.

Edited December 7, 2015 by GracieK

[RCharter]

Regardless of whether or not Nikki is a gold digger, no one deserves to be abused, and I think he is abusive.  I am not excusing gold digging, but I see Nikki as wanting a better life, and believing she could be happy with Mark.  I think she got in way over her head and had no idea he would be so controlling and emotionally manipulative.  Watching the show I just thought he was creepy... after seeing the Tell All I am now convinced that he's unstable.  Misogyny is born out of hatred... hatred can be a very dangerous thing.

I absolutely agree.  I don't see her as a golddigger at all.  She didn't throw a fit at the bridal shop, she hasn't asked for any money, and she barely put up a fight when Mark refused to put aside anything for her in the pre-nup.  I feel bad for her, because if she really had better options available to her right now, I think she would have gone for those options.  And if she was a golddigger with better options, she definitely would have taken off.  Mark is going to "provide for her" out of his income.  That means that she basically gets dragged along to whatever he wants to do.  How much additional money is caring for her going to cost?  An extra box of frozen pancakes a month?  Gas for the used Miata that she will be driving him around in?

 

She found the $10 wedding dress, and she was fine with it, until Mark let her know she should dream big!  She didn't ask for a wedding in Hawaii, he asked her where she wanted to have a wedding.  She never put up a fuss about her parents not coming to the wedding.  From where I sit, she hasn't asked him for much of anything.  I didn't even hear her ask him for a real ring, or give him an idea of what ring she would even like.

 

She seems like a girl trying to make the best of a bad situation, and getting beaten down at every turn.  I hope that she takes off on him in two years.  I hope that a judge finds that pre-nup unconscionable and voids it.

[Pepper Mostly]

 I can picture him dying twenty years from now, and having wasted her youth as his houseslave, never allowed to go outside of the house to work (I'm sure he'd say, hey if you want to apply at mcdonalds, go ahead, but you'll walk there, cause I'm not paying for you to use my car! And since you'll be working now, you can pay for all of your own food, clothes, and rent since you're living in my house!) or go to college

He won't let her work. He'll insist that she be home and available for him, all day every day. (god, I just threw up in my mouth a little). What if he came home, and she wasn't there? That would surely mess with his happiness!

[RCharter]

He won't let her work. He'll insist that she be home and available for him, all day every day. (god, I just threw up in my mouth a little). What if he came home, and she wasn't there? That would surely mess with his happiness!

....or else he will send her home.  Or divorce her and leave her with nothing.  Or he will let her work for a week, and then complain bitterly that she is never there for him, and if she can't be there for him, he wants a divorce and she can go back....without a penny to her name.  

[jujuebes]

nevermind, who knows what obligations Nikki has, the world is sick place.

Edited December 7, 2015 by jujuebes

[jujuebes]

I think Mark can pretend plenty.  He certainly had me going when he said that she should have options for her wedding dress and I was clearly fooled.  Because he had every intention of being a jackass and embarrassing her and having her wear a $10 wedding dress.  There is not a solitary doubt in my mind that Mark talked a good game in the Philippines to her.  There is no way that she dropped any other suitors she was talking to for someone that she knew was going to constantly threaten to send her home.  Because that doesn't even make any sense from her perspective.  She would want someone that was committed to her, so she could attain her goal of getting citizenship.

 

Nikki's english isn't perfect, and the way Mark talks I feel might woo an asian/pacific islander? In this age though we have the internet and she obviously did therefore I feel like culture is bare bones when it comes to todays age.

 

I just read the last bit of what you said, her goal of american citizenship? Like I said, she deserves shit and she got it.

Edited December 7, 2015 by jujuebes

[RCharter]

Nikki's english isn't perfect, and the way Mark talks I feel might woo an asian/pacific islander? In this age though we have the internet and she obviously did therefore I feel like culture is bare bones when it comes to todays age.

 

I just read the last bit of what you said, her goal of american citizenship? Like I said, she deserves shit and she got it.

I love this country, so I won't fault someone for having a goal to be a citizen.

 

I don't think someone deserves shit because they want to become a citizen.  The fact that she would actually sacrifice to be with someone as disgusting as Mark shows me how much she values the opportunity to become a citizen.  I adore this country, but I'm not sure I would deal with someone as gross as Mark to become a citizen.  

[Glade]

No, no one deserves abuse.  I'm sure he was a different person when they met, and once he had lured her here with promises of love and security, that person was gone.  Once she was isolated in a strange place, a world away from all of her friends and family, he became controlling, possessive, abusive.  She probably thinks it is her fault but that she can't turn back now, all she has is wishful thinking and the 'honeymoon periods' of their relationship after abusive blowouts. 

[Neurochick]

I think Mark is gross.  I don't have a problem with him wanting to be with someone younger; if he were with a woman 35 years old no one would give a shit.  But he wants a young woman who's not on equal footing, who doesn't have the same money, agency , etc.  Or maybe Mark is Peter Pan and doesn't want to grow up.

[jujuebes]

I love this country, so I won't fault someone for having a goal to be a citizen.

 

I don't think someone deserves shit because they want to become a citizen.  The fact that she would actually sacrifice to be with someone as disgusting as Mark shows me how much she values the opportunity to become a citizen.  I adore this country, but I'm not sure I would deal with someone as gross as Mark to become a citizen.  

 

We are watching 90 day fiance for the love *and obvious drama* instead of people that wan't to be in the US and abusing the system.

There are millions of people online and Nikki chose Mark...

Edited December 7, 2015 by jujuebes

[GracieK]

We are watching 90 day fiance for the love *and obvious drama* instead of people that wan't to be in the US and abusing the system.

There are millions of people online and Nikki chose Mark...

 

And she's a total dumbass for that.  Lots of teenagers make boneheaded choices.  And hopefully she learns from it.  I just hope she doesn't have to suffer being abused for her choice. 

[jujuebes]

And she's a total dumbass for that.  Lots of teenagers make boneheaded choices.  And hopefully she learns from it.  I just hope she doesn't have to suffer being abused for her choice. 

 

Nikki's father didn't approve, I mean seriously he and most likely all of us would assume if Nikki was our child and she chose to be with Mark that's worse than becoming a stripper and we would feel like we have failed in raising our kids.

 

Some people are just drawn to this life style and since I'm not in that life I will never undestand why, You know the girl that always ends up with abusive/ drug guys.

[GracieK]

It's sad when anyone ends up in an abusive situation.  Most of the time there are underlying reasons why people are drawn into co-dependent, abusive, and/or drug addicted situations, and it's not pretty.

[Granny58]

Nikki had a choice, she chose this, she even had a 90 day trial period and still chose it...Nikki deserves what ever she gets. Nikki is not a good person period.

Mmmmm...don't know if she is good or not, I don't know the situation she came from that would make Mark preferable.  But I am 99% certain that she will want children and that's a big deal....and I hope she realizes before it is too late for her.  

[RCharter]

We are watching 90 day fiance for the love *and obvious drama* instead of people that wan't to be in the US and abusing the system.

There are millions of people online and Nikki chose Mark...

I'm not watching 90 day fiance for any great love story, I'm watching it because it is entertaining.  

 

I don't think that you can know that Nikki is abusing the system.  People in this country don't just get married for love, so I don't think you have to be in love to get married or you're "abusing" marriage.  People get married for a variety of reasons.  The K1 visa is for a person to bring over a foreign fiance, it doesn't state that if that fiance doesn't love you that the visa is somehow invalid.  So, I don't see how she is "abusing" the system.  

 

I don't even know that the K1 visa states that if your intention is to not be married for a lifetime that you're abusing the system.  And even at that, you don't know that Nikki didn't have every intention of staying with a man she thought was kind for the rest of his life.  The man he likely presented himself as in the Phillipines.  

 

I remember hearing someone from another country speak on the subject of arranged marriages, and why so many of them last longer than those marriages that aren't arranged.  Her point was basically that "in America, people expect to be happy all the time if they are in love, so when they are upset, they feel as though something is wrong.  People expect that they will be wildly in love and that that feeling of being blissfully in love will last, but people from arranged marriages grow into love because it is born out of respect, and getting to know each other and not starting out with that blissfully happy feeling."  And I wonder if thats the situation that Nikki comes from.  Yeah, maybe she isn't in love with Mark, but maybe she never expected to be "in love" with a man in order to marry him, she just wanted to be comfortable, and happy and could build a life with someone without love.  But he isn't even kind or reasonable at this point, he is just an asshole.

 

There are millions of people online, no doubt about it.  Which is why I think that Mark was an absolutely different human being when he was with her in the Philippines so that she wouldn't pursue a relationship with anyone else online.  And once he got her here, and she didn't have any options other than having to go back and start from scratch he changed his tune and became the guy he is now.

 

If anything, Mark abused a power imbalance.

Edited December 7, 2015 by RCharter

[okerry]

I love this country, so I won't fault someone for having a goal to be a citizen.

 

I don't think someone deserves shit because they want to become a citizen.  The fact that she would actually sacrifice to be with someone as disgusting as Mark shows me how much she values the opportunity to become a citizen.  I adore this country, but I'm not sure I would deal with someone as gross as Mark to become a citizen.  

But does someone like Nikki actually WANT to become a U.S. Citizen, or do they just want a "better life?" It's not necessarily the same thing. From what I have seen IRL and on this show, that "better life" actually means a better version of life in their home country but carried out under the protection and benefits of living in the U.S. - even though they care very little about America itself. But the Americans who bring these people in to marry don't realize that *at all* and think they're going to be so grateful that they'll love America, too.

 

Many times, they don't. Their loyalty remains with their home country and they just sort of tolerate America for the benefits that living here provides.

 

I commented about this on the "What would you like to see" thread. No one should agree to marry an American citizen, and live in the U.S., unless you truly want to be an American yourself. If nothing else, this causes huge problems in the marriage when the American realizes that their new spouse has little to no love for America itself and instead will spend a LOT of time complaining bitterly about how traditions in their own country are far better. But they sure will take the comfortable lifestyle and the safety that life in America affords.

[RCharter]

But does someone like Nikki actually WANT to become a U.S. Citizen, or do they just want a "better life?" It's not necessarily the same thing. From what I have seen IRL and on this show, that "better life" actually means a better version of life in their home country but carried out under the protection and benefits of living in the U.S. - even though they care very little about America itself. But the Americans who bring these people in to marry don't realize that *at all* and think they're going to be so grateful that they'll love America, too.

 

Many times, they don't. Their loyalty remains with their home country and they just sort of tolerate America for the benefits that living here provides.

 

I commented about this on the "What would you like to see" thread. No one should agree to marry an American citizen, and live in the U.S., unless you truly want to be an American yourself. If nothing else, this causes huge problems in the marriage when the American realizes that their new spouse has little to no love for America itself and instead will spend a LOT of time complaining bitterly about how traditions in their own country are far better. But they sure will take the comfortable lifestyle and the safety that life in America affords.

I think most of that is that they simply miss their home country.  We are seeing them fresh from their home country.  If the world suddenly was turned upside down and there was the best life in Greenland, I might go, but I would miss the US greatly.  Because I grew up here and I'm used to it here.  And I think thats what we see on the show.  My parents came here from another country and they love being US citizens, but I know when they first got here, they missed their home.  They used to talk about going back to retire, but now my parents realize that this country is their home, and they don't want to go anywhere else to retire.

 

I do think that Nikki wants to be a US citizen, in part, because she can have the opportunity at a better life here.  But I see nothing wrong with that.  I think many people who immigrate here care about America as much as those who were born here.  And sometimes, even more, because they understand the differences between the US and other countries.  And I think they care about America in that their diversity adds to America, the way I think diversity always has.

[3girlsforus]

I just watched an episode of Dateline Real Life Mysteries about a American man who married a young woman from another country who had dreamed of living in the US all of her life. He was hyper controlling of her and emotionally abusive. She started trying to break free. He ended up killing her by pushing her down the stairs. I seriously hope Dateline isn't the next time I see a story about Nikki.

Edited December 7, 2015 by 3girlsforus

[Granny58]

But does someone like Nikki actually WANT to become a U.S. Citizen, or do they just want a "better life?" It's not necessarily the same thing. From what I have seen IRL and on this show, that "better life" actually means a better version of life in their home country but carried out under the protection and benefits of living in the U.S. - even though they care very little about America itself. But the Americans who bring these people in to marry don't realize that *at all* and think they're going to be so grateful that they'll love America, too.

 

Many times, they don't. Their loyalty remains with their home country and they just sort of tolerate America for the benefits that living here provides.

 

I commented about this on the "What would you like to see" thread. No one should agree to marry an American citizen, and live in the U.S., unless you truly want to be an American yourself. If nothing else, this causes huge problems in the marriage when the American realizes that their new spouse has little to no love for America itself and instead will spend a LOT of time complaining bitterly about how traditions in their own country are far better. But they sure will take the comfortable lifestyle and the safety that life in America affords.

wise words.  When my English mom married my American dad, though her father's heart was broken he wisely told her "don't go to America and tell them how you do things in England.  Live like an American."  It's been decades and though she still straddles the pond emotionally, she has never done the "in England we...."

Edited December 7, 2015 by Granny58

[okerry]

wise words.  When my English mom married my American dad, though her father's heart was broken he wisely told her "don't go to America and tell them how you do things in England.  Live like an American."  It's been decades and though she still straddles the pond emotionally, she has never done the "in England we...."

I can certainly understand maintaining a love for your home culture, and continuing some traditions that are important to you. But that's entirely different from being dismissive of America and simply using it as a means to an end, and having no real love or loyalty to it.

[PamPote65]

Nikki had a choice, she chose this, she even had a 90 day trial period and still chose it...Nikki deserves what ever she gets. Nikki is not a good person period.

Women choose abusers all the time, and they choose to stay with abusers.  That doesn't mean they don't need help or that they are bad people for making the decision to partner up with bad people.  Many people are codependents in some form or another and they need therapy to make them understand their patterns and find normal partners who can love them in healthier ways.

[spankydoll]

 

It really stood out for me how Mark complained about all the bells and whistles he'd constructed past dates around, roses, five star meals (sure, sure......)  blah, blah, blah. It was all about putting on a show, nothing about getting to know someone, find common values or interests and certainly nothing about having fun or finding someone with a shared sense of humour.

 

My pet peeve is these assholes on dating sites who think they are so good looking that they "deserve" girlfriends 30-40 years younger than they are. These guys have huge egos and small dicks.

These posts are so on target. I was on Match.com in my late thirties. I was cute back then and ended up with dates with a few older guys because they would routinely lie about their ages and want to date way too young for their age. One of them had this lame ass surprise planned for our date where he would show me a picture and I had to guess which one he was. We met at a BoneFish grill (What IS it with Match.com guys and Bonefish grill?) and he came waltzing in wearing a suit carrying a rose and looking like my Grandad. I wanted to become invisible.Needless to say I didn't have to pick him out of the Magic Mike line-up. He was at Disney between Pluto and Goofy. WTF. He was also many years older than his profile stated. I thought of him every time that I saw Mark present one of his cute charming rom-com vignettes. 

 

I did date one man who was 20+ years older that I was. He was brilliant, funny, took me everywhere, knew good food and wine, was a millionaire but I never would marry him. 20 years older is still 20 years older. I can't imagine 40 years older. 

[GracieK]

I explored the online dating world briefly and encountered a LOT of men who lied about their age.  I had never even thought about that being a concern.  Men complain about women who use photos that don't reveal true body type.. but men flat out lie about their age so as to rope in the younger gals.  

Edited December 8, 2015 by GracieK

[JoJoPowerRanger]

What was he thinking, you ask? He was thinking...."Oh man! I'm gonna get me some of that 19 year old body!", for one thing. Pig.  He probably is also thinking (as MOST men who marry Philippino's do): they are subservient.  My every wish is their command.  I know someone, several people, actually, who married women from the Philippines for just this reason.  They are nothing more than sex slaves and indentured servants. Many of them are ok with this, as long as "Daddy" has money.

 

I agree!  After watching season 3's tell all, I went back to the season 2's tell all this morning and compared Brett's answers with Mark's, and my goodness, it was refreshing and I gained so much more respect for that sweet dopey guy. To paraphrase, Brett (who married Daya) said he respected Filipinos' perseverance to work through the problems in their marriages, especially since divorce is illegal in the Philippines. It could've been BS but at the very least he had the tact (that Mark clearly lacks) to not bash American women. Brett gave me some hope on this issue lol

[RCharter]

I explored the online dating world briefly and encountered a LOT of men who lied about their age.  I had never even thought about that being a concern.  Men complain about women who use photos that don't reveal true body type.. but men flat out lie about their age so as to rope in the younger gals.  

The best part is when you read their profile and they act like its all some "computer error."  "Oh, I don't know why my age is listed as 39....I'm really 52, but I look 35! I keep trying to get match to fix it...seriously!"

[wovenloaf]

That scene of them in the water in Hawaii where he's holding her by the armpits.... You know, like you do a toddler. Barf. After watching the whole season with him treating her like one of his children, that scene creeped me out so much.

Good luck to her... Here's hoping she wises up and dumps his lurky ass soon =/

[SinInTheCamp]

I can certainly understand maintaining a love for your home culture, and continuing some traditions that are important to you. But that's entirely different from being dismissive of America and simply using it as a means to an end, and having no real love or loyalty to it.

 

Who on this show is being dismissive of the U.S. (or, as you are phrasing it, the entire continents of America)?

 

wise words.  When my English mom married my American dad, though her father's heart was broken he wisely told her "don't go to America and tell them how you do things in England.  Live like an American."  It's been decades and though she still straddles the pond emotionally, she has never done the "in England we...."

 

This strikes me as policing of people's preferences and mistaking admiration for diverse cultures as somehow "un-American." I'm a U.S. citizen by birth, and yet, since visiting Japan a few years ago, I tend to rave on and on about I much I loved it there and miss it and would like to return someday for another visit. And I'm not even Japanese, nor do I know anyone there! Being able to admire and love other cultures doesn't mean you love this one any less; in fact, it's an extremely valuable thing to observe how things work in other places (such as universal healthcare and employment benefits) and think about what it would mean to incorporate diverse practices to improve this nation. Everyone benefits when we can put aside hyper-nationalism and learn about how others do things. We'd probably also gain a better understanding of Nikki's circumstances and perhaps some empathy for this young person doing whatever she deems necessary to improve her life (and since it's her life, that's for her to decide. She has a sponsor, and she's not breaking any laws.). 

[biakbiak]

Yes. The only people on this show I heard say anything remotely "complaining" about America on the show were Noon reflecting on having to step over urine on Bourbon Street/cockroaches in Kyle's apartment and Aleksandra lamenting the lack of places to dance in Rexburg both valid complaints that had nothing to do with America. They might have all mentioned missing home and family but that isn't remotely the same. And Nikki only mentioned briefly missing her family.

Nikki' s complaints have been nearly all about Mark and her not wanting to be constantly having him referencing his ex-wife at every turn which would be equally annoying in any country on earth.

Edited December 8, 2015 by biakbiak

[Meisty]

Oh, and I don't blame Nicki for sleeping all day. She is obviously depressed.

No way would I sleep all day I would stay far away from that zebra bed!  Could not imagine that creepy old man touching me blech! 

[Nancybeth]

Watched all of the "Tell All" last night and  OMG, the most annoying thing about Mark is how he never let Nikki answer questions directed TO HER!  When Erika Hill was finally all, "Would you let Nikki answer," or "I want her to tell me," I wanted to give her a high five.  What a sanctimonious asshole.

[3girlsforus]

 

I don't think Nikki is some golddigger.  She is the one that went online to find a $10 wedding dress, she signed a pre-nup that leaves her with absolutely nothing (which may work in her favor if a judge determines its unconscionable).  Her laying in bed all day could simply be depression, because I suspect the Mark in the Phillipines trying to win her over is different than the Mark that she has now that she has left her entire life behind and has let go of her other options.

 

I think this is a real key here. I don't see her as a gold digger either. She certainly hasn't made any attempts to get anything and has given up even those things she's entitled too. But more importantly, I don't think she left the Philippines knowing that Mark was emotionally abusive and hyper controlling. And I really don't think he did the 'my ex-wife' ever 5 seconds thing either. She has seemed really surprised at his ex-wife hangup. So she didn't leave her home making a decision to put up with an abusive jackass so she could get his money and an American passport. She left her home thinking she was coming to America with someone who cared about her.