Mark & Nikki: Touch That Window, Lose Your Hand

[RCharter]

OMG you guys are KILLING me with this reference. Love Pride and Prejudice.

 

Mark is Mr. Collins! Mr. Collins thinks he's part of some great love story (tied in with filial duty) and that his attention to an "elegant female" is not only warranted, but desired greatly by that female! And he talks too much. He has little idea of social rules and always brags about the wealth of his sponsor, Lady Catherine, embarrassing everyone. And he's clueless.

 

And yet Charlotte was ok with him. She often told Elizabeth that happiness in marriage was a matter of chance and she could make herself happy with Mr. Collins while relieving her family of the burden of supporting her.

 

No one wants to imagine themselves as Charlotte, but Charlotte is a smart cookie who never overtly ridicules Mr. Collins. 

 

Love it. Love. It.

LMAO :)  You can always come to me for a discussion of Jane Austen, after all, all my friends say I am very well versed in Jane Austen.  In my head I'm doing that in my best Fanny Dashwood/Sense & Sensibility voice :)

 

Mark is a Mr. Collins, but I always felt Mr. Collins was a blowhard, but a more gentle one than Mark seems to be.  But, like Mark, he couldn't imagine how a person would possibly feel any differently than he did about everything and anything.  And he could go on and on and on about any subject.  The first time I read the book I was sure they were going to shuttle the youngest girl off on him since she was so serious (Mary, I believe?)  So Charlotte came as a surprise to me too.

 

Charlotte was very smart, and one of those people who wasn't pressured by some great love or feeling she had for Mr. Collins.  Since she had no big expectations, other than to be treated well, she was able to find contentment.  

[cooksdelight]

Watching Mark prepare dinner and putting everything out in the room with the fireplace, my sister said "Wow, his house is really dated." She could tell that just from that one room, she hasn't seen the Jungle Room yet.

[RCharter]

Watching Mark prepare dinner and putting everything out in the room with the fireplace, my sister said "Wow, his house is really dated." She could tell that just from that one room, she hasn't seen the Jungle Room yet.

There is nothing weirder and more dated than that......room with the fireplace.  I mean, what is that, a dining room?

[cooksdelight]

I think it's supposed to be a den, but he made it a dining room with the folding chairs. When Elise walked in, my sister said "Is that his daughter? I bet it is, and I bet that pink hair really pisses him off."

Ya think?

[RCharter]

I think it's supposed to be a den, but he made it a dining room with the folding chairs. When Elise walked in, my sister said "Is that his daughter? I bet it is, and I bet that pink hair really pisses him off."

Ya think?

That house is an old rambling mess, but its huge, there has to be a real dining room in there somewhere?  Why a den with folding chairs?  And is it just me or is there no carpeting in that den.  That whole house is just strange.

[WhoAmIReally]

Watching Mark prepare dinner and putting everything out in the room with the fireplace, my sister said "Wow, his house is really dated." She could tell that just from that one room, she hasn't seen the Jungle Room yet.

 

See, exactly!  It's a testament to the life and times of Mark.  They shouldn't change a thing.  I loved that you brought up the Jungle Room, because I was thinking about that when I posted about his house.  What if Priscilla had remodelled the Jungle Room at Graceland?  It would be a huge loss to the history of American Decor!  Mark should enshrine his "Creepy Guy Growing Old Alone with a Bunch of Kids" house forever as a national trust and we can all visit to see what it was like back in the day! I'm sure it has old man smell, too.  Eau de Mildew (since it is on the water) and Goat. 

[cooksdelight]

Don't forget mothballs. I am sure there are mothballs strewn all over the place.

[WhoAmIReally]

He probably wears Aramis cologne, if they still make it.  Although I suppose he sees himself as more of a Polo man.

[AussieBabe]

[RCharter]

He probably wears Aramis cologne, if they still make it.  Although I suppose he sees himself as more of a Polo man.

I'm going with either Navy! for Men or whatever Calvin Klien cologne that smells fruity.

 

And I'm also guessing he is a "designer impostors fragrance" kind of a guy.

[IvySpice]

Mr. Collins was an idiot, but the only time we ever saw him angry was when Elizabeth turned him down. A whole world of ideas could be discussed in front of him, and they'd go whizzing over his head. All you had to do was humor him, and he'd be perfectly peaceful. He really didn't care what Charlotte did all day; he wasn't interested in controlling her as long as she stayed in her own sphere. He simply wasn't that focused on his wife. I personally couldn't live with Mr. Collins, because his stupidity would make me murder him...but women were safe around him. He was a wimp.

 

Mark is buzzing with suppressed rage. Nikki is ENORMOUSLY important to him as a possession and a symbol. I have no idea if Nikki is safe or what. He scares me.

[KarmaG]

I couldn't agree more with this.  Most single men I know decorate a place when they move in, and then they pretty much leave it.  Hell, my grandparents were pretty much the same way.  This "updated kitchen" stuff that you hear about now, where everyone has to have stainless appliances and granite countertops has become bizarrely pervasive.  

 

I totally agree too. I recently saw a pic of my Grandmother's kitchen counter and it was the same butcher block looking formica that was put in when they built the house in the very late 70s. I don't think my Grandmother would ever want to update it or the cabinets even. And appliances only when the old actually no longer work and not a minute before.

[CofCinci]

I think the dated house we've seen featured isn't Mark's primary residence.

Edited December 11, 2015 by CofCinci

[cooksdelight]

I think the dated house we've seen featured isn't Mark's primary residence.

 

It's the only one I could find listed for him anywhere. You got another scoop? :)

[ParkCirclegirl]

There is nothing weirder and more dated than that......room with the fireplace.  I mean, what is that, a dining room?

Did you notice that behind the folding chairs there was a china cabinet filled with china but they were using the everyday Corelle...Mark makes a celebration dinner, presents Nikki with a ring (real or otherwise) but won't even use the good china.

[Steve]

Maybe this has been covered, I haven't read the whole thread. 

 

What cracked me up most about the last episode what when the host said that Nikki was 19 and Mark corrected her "She's 20 now." as if that makes it much less creepy.  "Oh, now you're 59 and she's 20.  58/19 was gross, but 59/20 is completely normal."  I hope she gets her green card in a couple of years and then finds a handsome young man who wants to have children with her.  That's exactly what Mark deserves.

[evilmindatwork]

I am not too worried about Nikki having kids. She's only twenty and she has a good 15 years to decide if that's what she really wants for herself. I can't really see her staying with him well into her forties. I AM worried about  having to walk on eggshells around Mark, offending him, and then having him change the locks and kicking her out of the house without any legal recourse because of the prenup. 

Edited December 11, 2015 by evilmindatwork

[ChristmasJones]

I would have liked the host on the tell-all to ask Mark how he would feel if his daughter was going to marry a 60 yo man. I would just love to see his facial expressions as he figured out how to put a spin on that one.

[Miss Chevious]

I would have liked the host on the tell-all to ask Mark how he would feel if his daughter was going to marry a 60 yo man. I would just love to see his facial expressions as he figured out how to put a spin on that one.

And have him be from another country where she would have to go so she couldn't be near her family.

His head would explode!

[jujuebes]

I would have liked the host on the tell-all to ask Mark how he would feel if his daughter was going to marry a 60 yo man. I would just love to see his facial expressions as he figured out how to put a spin on that one.

 

It would have been hilarious if she came out on the set with an older man.

 

And have him be from another country where she would have to go so she couldn't be near her family.

His head would explode!

 

I don't think Mark has any feelings when it comes to cutting his kids out of his life, but I think if they moved next door to him his head might explode.

 

 

Does Mark expect grandchildren?

Edited December 11, 2015 by jujuebes

[cooksdelight]

As long as the grandchildren visit briefly then go away and don't ruin his happiness....

[Yolapukka]

 

As long as the grandchildren visit briefly then go away and don't ruin his happiness....

 

Or touch his windows, especially after they've eaten pancakes.

[evilmindatwork]

Or touch his windows, especially after they've eaten pancakes.

Or aren't left with him in the morning "wearing diapers". 

[WhoAmIReally]

It's the only one I could find listed for him anywhere. You got another scoop? :)

It's the same address that's on all his lawsuits from Day One, so I think it's the one and only.  It's a really big place, so I wonder if he stores the pianos in most of it?  You would think the humidity would be terrible for them, though.

 

And he'll be the one wearing diapers by the time the grandchildren come.

Edited December 12, 2015 by WhoAmIReally

[Danag]

You know. if you live near Mark, you can go to the courthouse and LOOK at the divorce file. The documents must be on file where they got divorced, and I'm assuming it was where Mark lives. I'll bet there is a lot of good stuff between him and his Filipino Ex. It's all  public record. I looked up a couple myself....being nosy and all ;)

 

You'd be surprised what juicy things you find in the divorce/marriage binders....lol

[WhoAmIReally]

I am ashamed to say that my grief over the loss of my time with Mark and Nikki has caused my little fingers to do some googling about Mark:

 

1.  Studied piano at Peabody, which I assume is the Peabody Conservatory (Johns Hopkins) in Baltimore; got a BA in music (piano) at York College, PA.

2.  House is held by him as a Trustee, so I assume he's holding it in trust for his kids so his wives couldn't get their paws on it.  Or his mom owns it.

3.  House is worth $474,000, with over half of that being the value of the property.

4.  The house was built in 1924, so I guess he did remodel! 

5.  I rewatched the casting tape and he said he made it clear to her that he was in the top half of the 1% physically, and that he "is a specimen, exceptional".

6.  They met on OKCupid, where she was outsdie of his desired age range, and when he came over to meet his pool of potential wives, she offered to meet him at the airport after which they spent two days together nonstoppingly sealing their love. That airport thing was a slick move by her to beat out the competition.

 

Ok, I feel dirty now. 

Edited December 13, 2015 by WhoAmIReally

[Aw my lahgs]

Oh yes indeed, the house had some remodeling done, somewhere in the late seventies/early eighties!

IIRC he inherited the house from his parents, so they probably did the remodeling. I highly doubt the Specimen has done anything to it since moving in.

[RCharter]

I am ashamed to say that my grief over the loss of my time with Mark and Nikki has caused my little fingers to do some googling about Mark:

 

1.  Studied piano at Peabody, which I assume is the Peabody Conservatory (Johns Hopkins) in Baltimore; got a BA in music (piano) at York College, PA.

2.  House is held by him as a Trustee, so I assume he's holding it in trust for his kids so his wives couldn't get their paws on it.  Or his mom owns it.

3.  House is worth $474,000, with over half of that being the value of the property.

4.  The house was built in 1924, so I guess he did remodel! 

5.  I rewatched the casting tape and he said he made it clear to her that he was in the top half of the 1% physically, and that he "is a specimen, exceptional".

6.  They met on OKCupid, where she was outsdie of his desired age range, and when he came over to meet his pool of potential wives, she offered to meet him at the airport after which they spent two days together nonstoppingly sealing their love. That airport thing was a slick move by her to beat out the competition.

 

Ok, I feel dirty now. 

I'm sure he holds it in trust for estate planning purposes.  Its a smart move on his part.

 

LMAO at the idea that he is in the top half of the 1% physically.  The delusion is strong in this one.

 

Barf at point 6, I guess they made all sorts of party in the Philippines.

[mittsigirl]

Did you notice that behind the folding chairs there was a china cabinet filled with china but they were using the everyday Corelle...Mark makes a celebration dinner, presents Nikki with a ring (real or otherwise) but won't even use the good china.

It just was not the right time to 'make party' so why use the good stuff?!

[cooksdelight]

And he'd have to hand-wash the good china. Nikki wouldn't do it correctly. I'm surprised he didn't use Chinet.

[deltaburkefan]

I'm surprised he let the chance to say, "This is the china pattern my ex-wife and I picked out" slip away.

[WhoAmIReally]

I also noticed the china in the cabinet and thought there's no way I'd mess with that.  You'd have to disarrange it, wash it by hand, and it couldn't go in the microwave.  It would also cost a small fortune to replace each broken dish if the the pattern was discontinued.  Nikki wouldn't know the difference anyway.  Both my grandparents and parents have stopped using their good stuff even for very special meals--just not worth the trouble.  I have two beautiful old sets given to me by now-dead relatives and haven't even opened the boxes.  Too much trouble these days,especially if it has a metallic trim, which means no dishwasher.  So for this one thing, I don't blame Mark. 

[Cherrio]

I'm surprised he let the chance to say, "This is the china pattern my ex-wife and I picked out" slip away.

That china was probably his mothers.    I have a set that looks exactly the same and its actual gold leaf ( or whatever the term is) on the border. It belonged to my grandmother, so Marks mother probably inherited from her mother or MIL.    

    It was an expensive set.  Made by Le Roi, with 18 kt. gold and numbered. (Nikki, sell the plates)

 

 Oh and Mark has used an alias in the past according to several sites. Marcus.......I think he misspelled it, really meant mucous.

[ParkCirclegirl]

I am a china, silver, crystal girl, inheriting from relatives that lived the Downton Abbey experience however, I updated my appliances to include a dishwasher with a china cycle, unlike the Speciman, lol.

Also, I live in Baltimore and every now and then I have the urge to stalk Nikki and the Speciman, is that bad?

[CofCinci]

I think Mark 'broke' the show as there will never be another specimen like him. 

[Cherrio]

I am a china, silver, crystal girl, inheriting from relatives that lived the Downton Abbey experience however, I updated my appliances to include a dishwasher with a china cycle, unlike the Speciman, lol.

Also, I live in Baltimore and every now and then I have the urge to stalk Nikki and the Speciman, is that bad?

If I lived there, I would rent a Bassett Hound for a day, go to his house and have the dog lick every window on his car and house.  Then I would hang out with his neighbors and watch him lose his happiness.

[Honley Lass]

If I lived there, I would rent a Bassett Hound for a day, go to his house and have the dog lick every window on his car and house.  Then I would hang out with his neighbors and watch him lose his happiness.

That phrase sounds like stuff we said in the 70's, man....like, you're messin' with my happiness, man....

[cooksdelight]

Look at those dirty feet!! I just can't.....

[WhoAmIReally]

 

Also, I live in Baltimore and every now and then I have the urge to stalk Nikki and the Speciman, is that bad?

 

It is bad, but I understand.  You might ruin the magic if you come face-to-face with them, though.  Better to let them live in your dreams.  BTW, I am going to Ballmer for a couple of days this week to hang out with a friend, and various scenarios ran through my mind about what would happen if I ran into them.  They obviously wouldn't be in the same area, but you never know!  I think we all need to make a pact to get a selfie with them if we see them!

[WhoAmIReally]

Yeah, while I like driving moccasins on rich old men when they're driving their Jags or hanging out at home, I don't think they're appropriate for general street wear.

[RCharter]

I wonder if Mark's pants belong to his daughter or ex wife. Because those look like ladies ankle pants to me. I've never seen a man wear pants cut like that, ever.

And why is that fool not wearing socks? It's the middle of December. If it's cold enough for leather jackets and sweaters and hats, it's time to put on socks. And put away the crop pants!

I've never in my life seen a man wear pants cut like that either.  I guess its selling, but not with men I've run into or would date or would look at twice.  I don't think the no-socks thing has been very popular with anyone since the 80's, but it could be ironic now like trucker hats were.  Eau de James Spader in 16 Candles.  Or maybe its because I'm in So. Cal.  I take that back, I have seen middle aged + men rocking the no socks look....but its more men that I would think are being accidentally ironic.

[Cherrio]

I have seen the no socks look recently, but never the short pants.     I would attribute his "look" to his still wearing the clothes from when he was married. Its obvious his whole world stopped then and he is going to start over from that point.     The sheets, the wall phones, the car.....its arrested development, a special strain of it just for the specimen.   

[WhoAmIReally]

I I don't think the no-socks thing has been very popular with anyone since the 80's,

 

And there's your question answered!  What decade is he living in?  Anyway, I think it's still pretty common among East Coast guys who live by the water and want people to think they are of a certain social class.  Mark is an aspirational dresser.  Or he's just wearing his clothes from the 80's.  I would say a mix of the two.  Kudos to him for being such a specimen that he can fit into his old stuff, such as his well-worn red polo.  He really isn't in bad shape, except that his posture is terrible and he walks like an old man.  That may be attributible to back injuries from moving pianos. 

[RCharter]

And there's your question answered!  What decade is he living in?  Anyway, I think it's still pretty common among East Coast guys who live by the water and want people to think they are of a certain social class.  Mark is an aspirational dresser.  Or he's just wearing his clothes from the 80's.  I would say a mix of the two.  Kudos to him for being such a specimen that he can fit into his old stuff, such as his well-worn red polo.  He really isn't in bad shape, except that his posture is terrible and he walks like an old man.  That may be attributible to back injuries from moving pianos. 

LMAO @ aspirational dresser......that is such a perfect term for him.

[Honley Lass]

It is bad, but I understand.  You might ruin the magic if you come face-to-face with them, though.  Better to let them live in your dreams.  BTW, I am going to Ballmer for a couple of days this week to hang out with a friend, and various scenarios ran through my mind about what would happen if I ran into them.  They obviously wouldn't be in the same area, but you never know!  I think we all need to make a pact to get a selfie with them if we see them!

Ah, you know the Ballmer accent hon!  You should go downy ocean while you're there too!  ;-)

[4Nefertiti]

Poor Nikki. She's just a child. A nineteen-year-old infatuated with a controlling 58-year-old, and said 58-yr-old infatuated with a teen - will not end well for either of them. 

 

They may think it's love, but Mark's head-in-the-sand idea that a nineteen/20-yr-old girl will not want children is ludicrous - and quite frankly, cruel to Nikki.

 

That Mark (and Nikki) expect Mark's 22 yr-old daughter to be Nikki's sounding-board - (she will certainly need one!) - or, her friend is ridiculous and rather ignorant and cruel to Mark's daughter.

 

I really feel for the daughter here. To be given the heave-ho out of the house, so Nikki can move in...to be callously, stupidly invited to her dad's romantic engagement ring dinner...to have to hear her father's insane justifications...to rebuff her wisdom that it looks like he's doing the same things over again and expecting different results...to then go on the after-show and insult American/Western women (and insult Filipinas, too - by stereotyping them as pliant, backwards dolls)...is to horribly embarrass his daughter. (And embarrass Nikki, too.)

 

When Nikki "wakes up" and realizes her teenage dream has become an adult nightmare, where will she go? (And she will go. It won't be her fault. She'll have simply grown up and seen Mark for the several-notches above a pedophile that he is.)

 

Did other people catch his comment: "would you like YOUR kids messing up your windows?"

 

He was comparing his new wife to a "kid."

 

Indeed, he has married a kid. One who felt she had "no choice" but to sign that lousy pre-nup. His sicko, dark-fantasyland comment that he and Nikki "won't be creating anything together" was anything but romantic - or fair, or realistic. If he really feels that way than he's not sought a marriage (which most people understand is a PARTNERSHIP) he's seeking an impressional girl to smother with rules, regulations, and presents. But, look out for his wrath when she becomes an adult and gets "uppity"!

 

Isn't is astonishing how a guy (or anyone) can be the common denominator in 100's of "train-wrecks" as he called his previous dating, and not realize it's him that's the problem?

 

He complained that women weren't impressed by his huge bouquets and restaurant dinners...that's why he's happy with a teenager/20 yr-old from a third-world nation - she's IMPRESSIONABLE - and he's such a weakling of character that he needs that.

 

He dismisses American women, women his own age being critical of him as being "overweight"- what an easy pot-shot to take. Not surprising, considering his "love" and "character" don't seem to go much deeper than the physical, fantasy, and material realms.

 

(Run, Nikki, run!)

[Cherrio]

Don't forget his hair.     Peroxided and a really bad cut.    

 

There is only one place for the specimen.   Flushed, twice to make sure its gone for good.    

[Cherrio]

We should all send Nikki track shoes.

[CofCinci]

Why?  So she can sell them and buy life insurance for Mark?

 

Nikki isn't a child.  She is aware of what she is doing.

Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety. Benjamin Franklin

[evilmindatwork]

You know. if you live near Mark, you can go to the courthouse and LOOK at the divorce file. The documents must be on file where they got divorced, and I'm assuming it was where Mark lives. I'll bet there is a lot of good stuff between him and his Filipino Ex. It's all  public record. I looked up a couple myself....being nosy and all ;)

 

You'd be surprised what juicy things you find in the divorce/marriage binders....lol

Please tell us what you found out!