Mark & Nikki: Touch That Window, Lose Your Hand

[cooksdelight]

Discuss Mark and Nikki here.

 

Quote

 

In what looks to be perhaps the most controversial pairing of Season 3, 58-year-old Mark is courting his 19-year-old fiancee Nikki after the two met on an online dating website. The age gap is a major hurdle for Mark’s four children, all of whom are older than Nikki. Another stumbling block for the relationship is Nikki’s desire to have children and Mark’s reluctance to reenter the parenting world after more than 19 years.

 

Edited May 29, 2019 by Drogo
Thread title formatting

[TigerLily20]

Great the one with the biggest age gap is less than 2 hrs from me.....cant wait for the train wreck...

[cooksdelight]

I know I will be asking this a lot.... What was he thinking?? I'm a couple of years younger than him and I cannot imagine dating someone my nephew's age. GAG!

[truelovekiss]

Yikes. This is going to be such a disaster, and painful to watch, but I know I won't be able to stop.

[Aw my lahgs]

If they were together for a year or two before her coming over, then she was still a minor when they met.
A 55+ year old man with a minor, yuck!

Edited September 19, 2015 by Nutella

[KarmaG]

I know I will be asking this a lot.... What was he thinking?? I'm a couple of years younger than him and I cannot imagine dating someone my nephew's age. GAG!

 

Same here. My youngest is 20, my oldest is 23 (with one in between) and there's no way in hades I could imagine dating someone their age. I just don't find people my children's age to be attractive in that way.

[cooksdelight]

Can't wait to hear why he couldn't meet any nice women closer to his age, or maybe in their 30s, in Baltimore.

[greekmom]

Can't wait to hear why he couldn't meet any nice women closer to his age, or maybe in their 30s, in Baltimore.

He wants some arm candy to validate his life and probably cannot stand the fact that he is aging. But you are right cooksdelight.  He could have found a nice lady in their 30's decent looking in Baltimore or just in Maryland itself.  He probably wants a "yes Daddy" girl. 

[CofCinci]

If they were together for a year or two before her coming over, then she was still a minor when they met.

A 55+ year old man with a minor, yuck!

That is absolutely disgusting.

[Jenjen]

I have been with my husband for 7 years and he has given me a wonderful life and a reason to be happy. I will love him forever and take care of him for the rest of his life. I am also from the Philippines and I was also 19 when he met me, he was 65 years old and that was the happiest day of my life.

Edited September 19, 2015 by cooksdelight

[RCharter]

I know I will be asking this a lot.... What was he thinking?? I'm a couple of years younger than him and I cannot imagine dating someone my nephew's age. GAG!

I'm already calling it.  I'm gonna hate that guy the most, and nothing he says is going to convince me that he is nothing more than a disgusting old man.

Can't wait to hear why he couldn't meet any nice women closer to his age, or maybe in their 30s, in Baltimore.

unless he has been setting the world on fire and has money to burn or some powerful position I don't see a 58 year old man being able to pull in a 30 year old either.  I'm over 30 and I wouldn't want to date a man in their mid-50's....even a successful one at that point.  

 

And you know guys like this don't just want a normal looking, nice woman in their age range.  They feel like they deserve the best looking woman who doesn't have an ounce of fat, and lives to cook and clean for him every day, and doesn't want to educate herself or get out of the house.  Although, HIS looks shouldn't matter to her, nor should his AGE, nor should the fact that he doesn't have much going on in life.  She should have no standards, but he should have all the standards.

[cooksdelight]

Yes, but let's wait and see what happens before calling too many judgments his way. She may be a very sweet individual and he may be an asshole. That's what I'm going with for now. :)

[Neurochick]

Can't wait to hear why he couldn't meet any nice women closer to his age, or maybe in their 30s, in Baltimore.

 

I think some of it's simple.  I mean I'm 56 and I don't FEEL like I'm 56, no matter what the mirror says.  I feel the same way I did when I was 25.  It's like when I look at myself in the mirror, I"m like, "That's not me!"  Because it's not, it's my face and body.  Are we nothing more than a face and body?  What about how your feel inside?  Sometimes I feel that we're too obsessed with age and what's "creepy" and shit like that in this country.  As long as they're all consenting adults, it's all good.  

 

What happens though is that reality hits.  Other people have issues, and you then realize that even though you don't feel your age, there are things that you have been through that a young person might not have.  The problems come when goals are different.  If she wants children and he's like, "I'm done with that."  That is a problem.  He has the right not to have anymore children, but she has the right to be with a man who wants to have children.

Edited October 6, 2015 by Neurochick

[cooksdelight]

 

He has the right not to have anymore children, but she has the right to be with a man who wants to have children.

 

 

Exactly, and I don't think he's taken that into consideration. Well, we'll see. 

 

I am your age, and men my age (this guy's age) are already experiencing "performance issues" if you know what I mean. :D  So in 10 years when he's 68 and she's 29, she will still be raring to go and can he keep up?

[Neurochick]

I am your age, and men my age (this guy's age) are already experiencing "performance issues" if you know what I mean. :D  So in 10 years when he's 68 and she's 29, she will still be raring to go and can he keep up?

 

 

And that's why God made younger men.  

 

My point is, if a woman still is "raring to go"  should we say, "it's creepy for you to want a younger man, no matter how you feel?"

[RCharter]

I think some of it's simple.  I mean I'm 56 and I don't FEEL like I'm 56, no matter what the mirror says.  I feel the same way I did when I was 25.  It's like when I look at myself in the mirror, I"m like, "That's not me!"  Because it's not, it's my face and body.  Are we nothing more than a face and body?  What about how your feel inside?  Sometimes I feel that we're too obsessed with age and what's "creepy" and shit like that in this country.  As long as they're all consenting adults, it's all good.  

 

What happens though is that reality hits.  Other people have issues, and you then realize that even though you don't feel your age, there are things that you have been through that a young person might not have.  The problems come when goals are different.  If she wants children and he's like, "I'm done with that."  That is a problem.  He has the right not to have anymore children, but she has the right to be with a man who wants to have children.

 

Oh, I think this situation is uber creepy, and I would think that any situation with a 40 year age difference is odd.  At some point, with age comes wisdom and knowledge, even just knowledge about life and there is one person just taking advantage of the other.  You shouldn't have that much in common with someone who is 40 years older or 40 years younger than you.  A person who is 40 years older has experience so much more of life just by virtue of living and interacting in the world.  

 

Even if your body feels the same, I'm not sure I would want to be the same person I was at 25.   I'm thankful that I've grown and matured.  And I thin this situation is even creepier when you throw in the fact that he mysteriously found his teen bride in a poor country where women are willing to do anything to get out so they can build a better life for themselves and send money home.  

 

I don't think a person has to date within a 5 year age range or anything like that.  I've dated men that were 10 years younger (although I kept feeling like Chris Hansen might pop out of a corner at any minute) and enjoyed their....ummm....youthful vigor.  But I think 40 years is just odd.

[GracieK]

It's 100% creepy.  She is still a teenager and he is older than my parents (and I'm 37).  He is a dirty old man plain and simple.  The clip of the little wave he gives her in one of their skype calls.. which basically looks like a salutation you'd give to a child, makes my skin crawl.  A 58 yr old has no business taking advantage of a young woman who isn't even old enough to enjoy a glass of wine in this country.  It seems borderline criminal.  

[RCharter]

It's 100% creepy.  She is still a teenager and he is older than my parents (and I'm 37).  He is a dirty old man plain and simple.  The clip of the little wave he gives her in one of their skype calls.. which basically looks like a salutation you'd give to a child, makes my skin crawl.  A 58 yr old has no business taking advantage of a young woman who isn't even old enough to enjoy a glass of wine in this country.  It seems borderline criminal.  

2 years ago it would have been criminal.  I vaguely remember someone saying that they met when she was like 16 so yeah....I guess he waited for his child bride to turn the legal age so he could bring her over here.  I mean I can't even see where this would impress his friends I feel like even most adult men his age would be skeeved out by this.

[gunderda]

you are ABSOLUTELY NOT the same person you were at 19 as you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s+

 

I used to chase older men when I was in my late teens and now (in my 30s) I think "what the F*** was I thinking!!?? and what were those guys thinking!!??!?"

[RCharter]

you are ABSOLUTELY NOT the same person you were at 19 as you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s+

 

I used to chase older men when I was in my late teens and now (in my 30s) I think "what the F*** was I thinking!!?? and what were those guys thinking!!??!?"

OMG -- I was the exactly same way!  When I was 19 I dated a man who was nearly 40 and I was so into him.  I look back now and I'm like "my goodness I wouldn't give that guy the time of day now!"  

 

I know exactly what the guys were thinking,but goodness I shudder to think what would have happened if I actually had settled down with any of them.  Yuck.

[greekmom]

I can only imagine some of the generation gap conversations between Mark and Nikki. So far I have come up with the following.

Concerts:

Mark: Oh look a concert in a few weeks.

Nikki: Taylor Swift?

Mark: cover band of Chicago

Nikki: Taylor Swift coming to Chicago? Yeah! Let's go Daddy! 

 

Television:

Mark: ohhh look a CHIPs marathon is on.

Nikki: Chips?!? You want chips? Ok I go get you some chips.

 

And last but not least ... and I hope this one happens. I really really do!! At a restaurant:

Mark and Nikki are seated at the table.

Waitress: Are you and your granddaughter celebrating something special tonight?!?! We do have the senior's early bird special going on.

 

Bahahaha. yeah I may go to hell for thinking these things but heck, they bring it on to themselves for airing their laundry.

[Neurochick]

OMG -- I was the exactly same way!  When I was 19 I dated a man who was nearly 40 and I was so into him.  I look back now and I'm like "my goodness I wouldn't give that guy the time of day now!"  

 

I know exactly what the guys were thinking,but goodness I shudder to think what would have happened if I actually had settled down with any of them.  Yuck.

 

If the guy had money, you would have been a well to do, young widow; if he didn't have money, you would have been a poor, young widow.  

[RCharter]

If the guy had money, you would have been a well to do, young widow; if he didn't have money, you would have been a poor, young widow.  

I would have been miserable.  Money is wonderful, but happiness is paramount.

[wovenloaf]

It's 100% creepy.  She is still a teenager and he is older than my parents (and I'm 37).  He is a dirty old man plain and simple.  The clip of the little wave he gives her in one of their skype calls.. which basically looks like a salutation you'd give to a child, makes my skin crawl.  A 58 yr old has no business taking advantage of a young woman who isn't even old enough to enjoy a glass of wine in this country.  It seems borderline criminal.

Yeah the way that he speaks to her like she's a little girl - not like regular condescending, but treating her as if she's, literally, a child - at times totally creeps me out. Any man treating someone 40 years his junior like that while simultaneously trying to get in her pants gets some SERIOUS SERIOUS side eye from me, yah.

[nenya]

If she was just a little older (25, 26) I would have rolled my eyes. But this grosses me out. As another poster said - she isn't even old enough to drink in this country. And there is such a difference when I was at 19 compared to now. And in a way, it is sad, because he is going to hold her back, in ways she might not realize now. Maybe at home, she didn't have the opportunity for further education, or to figure out her interests, to work in a field she was excited about. But she is so young that she could come here as a freshman in college. Is he going to help her build herself? Get an education, etc? So then is he her dad or her husband? And if he's not, is it because she truly understands that is what she wants? Or because he risks her meeting someone/gaining independence/leaving him?

 

I wonder what he promised his first wife. Or how he treated her. Maybe she wasn't a good person, but I can't imagine it is an easy decision to leave behind 4 kids. I do admire him for raising them, and not bringing chaos into their lives with risking bringing over another wife while they were growing up. That was pretty great that he put his kids first, which is why I don't think he is a bad guy. 

[RCharter]

If she was just a little older (25, 26) I would have rolled my eyes. But this grosses me out. As another poster said - she isn't even old enough to drink in this country. And there is such a difference when I was at 19 compared to now. And in a way, it is sad, because he is going to hold her back, in ways she might not realize now. Maybe at home, she didn't have the opportunity for further education, or to figure out her interests, to work in a field she was excited about. But she is so young that she could come here as a freshman in college. Is he going to help her build herself? Get an education, etc? So then is he her dad or her husband? And if he's not, is it because she truly understands that is what she wants? Or because he risks her meeting someone/gaining independence/leaving him?

 

I wonder what he promised his first wife. Or how he treated her. Maybe she wasn't a good person, but I can't imagine it is an easy decision to leave behind 4 kids. I do admire him for raising them, and not bringing chaos into their lives with risking bringing over another wife while they were growing up. That was pretty great that he put his kids first, which is why I don't think he is a bad guy. 

 

It sounds like it was the same story with his ex-wife which is why I don't understand why he is signing himself up for this again.  From what I could tell, she got her, had 4 kids with him, but she probably got married young, tried to be a good wife and realized that she never had a chance to be a young adult in this country and have all the freedom that entails.  I wonder how young she was when he married his ex-wife?

 

Right now he comes off laid back -- but is he really going to want her to get an education and meet people outside of him?  People her own age?  I don't know.  It seems like he isn't planning for her to work, just that she be at home.  His daughter seems to think this is her taking advantage of him, but I think it might be the other way around.  The more she is at home, the less likely she is to explore the world around her, to meet new people and realize that....like his ex wife, she wants "independence."

 

And how weird is it that he picked his daughters skankiest outfit to give to his 19 year old child bride?

 

And, I want to know more about this red car in the previews, is he giving her the car he bought for his ex-wife?  Is he just showing it to her?  Why has he had it for 20 something years?  How is it the two of them basically came from the exact same town?

[cooksdelight]

Hell, for all we know, they are from the same family.

[RCharter]

Hell, for all we know, they are from the same family.

LOL...Brilliant, and it wouldn't surprise me in the least.

[Raja]

How is it the two of them basically came from the exact same town?

Among the guys claiming to be looking at values you have to throw out Manila and 20% of Filipinos for being most like us. You also throw out the autonomous Muslim regions. Cebu is the next biggest city with the infrastructure and amenities when men go wife hunting. Otherwise it will be the province of a relative who played match maker.

[PityFree]

His zebra striped sheets are a warning sign. They should be a warning sign to any woman. Nikki, RUN!!!!!!!!!

[ethalfrida]

His zebra striped sheets are a warning sign. They should be a warning sign to any woman. Nikki, RUN!!!!!!!!!

Maybe we need to do some "Free Nikki" teeshirts like my friend did for Katie Holmes when she married Tom.

[charmed1]

I'm trying to figure out where in Baltimore Mark lives. That's definitely not Baltimore City. It has to be out in the county or Towson or Annapolis.

[cooksdelight]

His business is located with a Baltimore address, on the water.

http://www.superpages.com/bp/Baltimore-MD/A440-Concert-Piano-Rentals-L0099903058.htm

[charmed1]

Yeah that's actually Middle River, a good 30-40 minutes outside of Baltimore City. I lived in Baltimore County for a few years, so I figured with the big house on a lake, he was a little further out. But I can understand why they're calling it Baltimore. No big deal.

I don't care what Nikki says, her eyes say it all. She looks grossed out every time Mark leans in for a kiss. Almost as grossed out as I am. She should pull a Mohammed and pretend it's Ramadan 24/7.

[Dahlia]

He keeps saying she left him with four kids in diapers That confuses me. Was it a toilet training issue or triplet boys say 18 months old and a newborn daughter? Forgive me but the logistics seem off.

Coming from a family of 4 kids as I did its not an all or nothing deal.... Typically

[cooksdelight]

From what I read on his Facebook page, the two oldest sons are twins, then the next son is a year younger, the daughter a year younger than him. One born right after the other. The poor woman may have had post-partum depression. But on the 90-Day Fiance page, a lot of people who know the family say the mother is very involved in her kids's lives, and she lives about 5 minutes away from the daughter. So I am getting royally pissed every time Mark claims she abandoned them.

[RCharter]

His zebra striped sheets are a warning sign. They should be a warning sign to any woman. Nikki, RUN!!!!!!!!!

They probably came in a matching set with a pair of zebra striped man thongs.  Lucky girl.

[Quof]

Elise "You're bringing in someone that we've never met and expecting us to get along."

 

Isn't that how it always works???   You haven't met someone.  And then you meet them.

[Granny58]

you are ABSOLUTELY NOT the same person you were at 19 as you are in your 30s, 40s, 50s+

 

I used to chase older men when I was in my late teens and now (in my 30s) I think "what the F*** was I thinking!!?? and what were those guys thinking!!??!?"

LOL.  That's what I think about so many of my youthful decisions. 

[CofCinci]

Perhaps the mother is involved with the children now but was absent for a while when they were younger?

[OhioMom]

I know I will be asking this a lot.... What was he thinking?? I'm a couple of years younger than him and I cannot imagine dating someone my nephew's age. GAG!

What was he thinking, you ask? He was thinking...."Oh man! I'm gonna get me some of that 19 year old body!", for one thing. Pig.  He probably is also thinking (as MOST men who marry Philippino's do): they are subservient.  My every wish is their command.  I know someone, several people, actually, who married women from the Philippines for just this reason.  They are nothing more than sex slaves and indentured servants. Many of them are ok with this, as long as "Daddy" has money.

[OhioMom]

It's 100% creepy.  She is still a teenager and he is older than my parents (and I'm 37).  He is a dirty old man plain and simple.  The clip of the little wave he gives her in one of their skype calls.. which basically looks like a salutation you'd give to a child, makes my skin crawl.  A 58 yr old has no business taking advantage of a young woman who isn't even old enough to enjoy a glass of wine in this country.  It seems borderline criminal.  

You would be surprised, really.  No offense intended to the posters here who have done the same thing (from the Philippines, and married much older men)....but...there is a culture -- a lifestyle, if you will.  The people I know who did this lived in abject poverty.  They basically sold their bodies for the chance to come to America, have food to eat, have $$ to send back home, etc.  I know of at least 5 women who have done this.  Once here in America, they all form this cohesive little group -- they socialize together, they stay in touch, etc.  So...I doubt she's some innocent little thing. She knows, I'm sure, exactly what she's getting and exactly what she'll pay to get it.

[guilfoyleatpp]

What was he thinking, you ask? He was thinking...."Oh man! I'm gonna get me some of that 19 year old body!", for one thing. Pig.  He probably is also thinking (as MOST men who marry Philippino's do): they are subservient.  My every wish is their command.  I know someone, several people, actually, who married women from the Philippines for just this reason.  They are nothing more than sex slaves and indentured servants. Many of them are ok with this, as long as "Daddy" has money.

I agree with you somewhat, OhioMom! I have to giggle at the Asian = subservient thing. I know a lot of people think that, and it's definitely something that a lot of cultures promote "Our men are virile and in charge and our women are beautiful and obedient. Our children are all above average" (paraphrasing the last bit from Prairie Home Companion).  The appearance of demure blandness.  And not just Asian cultures.

Of course, it totally depends on the individual's personality, but in many cases there is a public persona and a private persona. I suspect Mark thinks his first wife was an anomaly. I would think, and this is just me, that a 19 year old bold enough to come to another country to marry a man 40 years her senior is not exactly a shrinking violet who waits to be told to act.  It'll be interesting to see how this plays out.

[Cherrio]

I broke my ban of TLC to watch.

 

Last week Mark gave me the creeps. When he smiles, its so forced and I get this vibe of a really bad temper hiding behind it.    Control freak too.

         Now, with this episode he seems to be treating her as something he owns and underneath that phony everything is happy exterior, he probably expects her to do as she is told.

      He creeps me out more than anyone on all seasons.

       I am hoping Nikki makes him nuts, gets everything she can out of him and then dumps him.

[RCharter]

You would be surprised, really.  No offense intended to the posters here who have done the same thing (from the Philippines, and married much older men)....but...there is a culture -- a lifestyle, if you will.  The people I know who did this lived in abject poverty.  They basically sold their bodies for the chance to come to America, have food to eat, have $$ to send back home, etc.  I know of at least 5 women who have done this.  Once here in America, they all form this cohesive little group -- they socialize together, they stay in touch, etc.  So...I doubt she's some innocent little thing. She knows, I'm sure, exactly what she's getting and exactly what she'll pay to get it.

And this is why I almost never have a problem with these women playing guys like Mark for a Green Card.  I was lucky enough to be born in this country, but these women to put in all sorts of disgusting work to become citizens and so I can't deny anyone who has that much passion and drive to become a citizen.  

[OhioMom]

And this is why I almost never have a problem with these women playing guys like Mark for a Green Card.  I was lucky enough to be born in this country, but these women to put in all sorts of disgusting work to become citizens and so I can't deny anyone who has that much passion and drive to become a citizen.  

Sorry...but "playing" someone, even if they're a total sob is never acceptable. It really shows the true character of a person who feels they are "entitled" to "play" someone, because they didn't like the way the other person was acting.

 

There are other ways to become legal citizens that don't involve making yourself just as bad, through your actions.

[RCharter]

Sorry...but "playing" someone, even if they're a total sob is never acceptable. It really shows the true character of a person who feels they are "entitled" to "play" someone, because they didn't like the way the other person was acting.

 

There are other ways to become legal citizens that don't involve making yourself just as bad, through your actions.

I find it perfectly acceptable to play some 60 year old pervert who wants a teen bride.  To me its basically a contract.  She wants a green card and she has to put in work to get it.  He wants a young play thing that he can control with a green card.  She is going to have to put in a lot of work for that green card.

 

To me, it really shows that there is a man that feels entitled to take advantage of a bad economic situation and a girl that desperately wants to do better for her family by any means necessary to lift herself out of poverty.  I find her to be the more sympathetic party and I don't fault her for doing what it takes within a legal framework.  

 

What are the other ways she could get over here? Let's see, she could get educated in a field that is currently in demand by US employers, but there are areas of the world where doing that can be more costly than her family could afford.  She could be sponsored by a family member, but if she doesn't have anyone over here that would be near impossible.  I wouldn't begrudge a person using a legal means with a greater chance to lift themselves out of poverty than to try to work other methods that have a very limited chance of success.

 

But maybe there are some other methods that I'm missing.  But as far as I know, every method of coming to the US requires an outlay of money....which many women in poor countries do not have access to.

Edited October 20, 2015 by RCharter

[LaChavalina]

I find it perfectly acceptable to play some 60 year old pervert who wants a teen bride.  To me its basically a contract.  She wants a green card and she has to put in work to get it.  He wants a young play thing that he can control with a green card.  She is going to have to put in a lot of work for that green card.

I'd stop short of saying it's "acceptable," but it is something that's been happening for a long time. Even before the Internet, there's a history of American GIs marrying young women abroad and bringing them back to the U.S. That we're debating it now is somewhat a sign of changing norms. (And, also the 40-year age difference. And the fact that Mark seems extra creepy about it.)

 

It's honestly surprising to me that the U.S. government seems so... permissive about letting men with money go abroad for "marriage tourism" and giving them K1 visas in this day and age. Meanwhile, we can't manage to quickly and effectively process asylum applications. One of my friends who has a Ph.D. and is married to an American is also having a nightmare of a time getting a green card. Maybe TLC's next show could be "I Married an Asylum Seeker."

[ParkCirclegirl]

I truly cannot even imagine any worthwhile conversation between the two of them, actually, it seemed that most of the conversations these couples are having are not really deeper than, "OMG you're here!" and "I can't believe you're here!" Deep stuff.  

 

Being from Baltimore, it is a very small town, that guy Mark looks soooo familiar.  Did we get a last name? 

[cooksdelight]

Shoemaker, he probably has some commercials or ads running about his business up there.