Strudel-Boy and Cawowine: Irritating Kids in Commercials

[merylinkid]

 

touch the yogurt!

Congratulations.   We have a new term for sex.     ANd instead of saying "not tonight dear, I have a headache" you just shriek "Don't touch the yogurt."

[Cobalt Stargazer]

Congratulations.   We have a new term for sex.     ANd instead of saying "not tonight dear, I have a headache" you just shriek "Don't touch the yogurt."

No, you should probably say, "Babe, what are you doing?" in your most annoying voice. :-P

[riley702]

I just saw an irritating kid in a car commercial. Dad is driving this ungrateful wretch around, showing him impressive sights, but the kid is not impressed. Seeing a ginormous tree (not sure if it's a Redwood or Sequoia), kid says, "I thought it would be bigger." Undeterred, Dad takes him to the Grand Canyon. Kid just shrugs. Kid is finally impressed when Dad drives thru a herd of bison and one peers into the kid's window. I'm not sure why that is the thing the kid is finally impressed by, nor why you'd want a car to drive you all over to try and impress your ungrateful kid.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqPCiTNHXVk

[Brattinella]

True, but have you ever seen a bison from that close?  I have, and it is WONDERFUL!

[cpcathy]

I hate to admit it, but I've grown to actually kind of like Strudel Boy. He's so "off" he's become funny to me, like, I think he's supposed to be that way, the commercial is just all sorts of odd. It would be funnier though, if the other people in the commercial acknowledged that Strudel Boy is weird.

[riley702]

True, but have you ever seen a bison from that close?  I have, and it is WONDERFUL!

I have and they are, but I was more impressed by both ginormous trees and the Grand Canyon. Stupid kid.

[Raiderred]

Riley702, thanks for saying the same thing I was thinking. I can't believe how stabby this commercial makes me. What are Subaru's intentions?? Ungrateful brat!

[InDueTime]

The Nature's Path ad where the boy puts his mouth on the cereal box to eat, and drinks milk directly from the carton. Gross.  Then, the mom excuses it because he's "eating organic."  It didn't so much convince me to buy their food as it convinced me that I wouldn't want a teenager like him in my house.

 

[Brattinella]

OH HELL NO!  Just STOP THIS.  No more letting children run rampant!

[Brattinella]

Speaking of children running rampant; there is a local carpet ad that is annoying to the extreme.  It features a jolly child running through the house with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.  He is laughing, and peeling the bread slices apart to reveal the goopy grape jelly and he FLINGS the jellied bread ACROSS THE ROOM like a frisbie!  ARRGGHHHHH!!!

[janie jones]

The Nature's Path ad where the boy puts his mouth on the cereal box to eat, and drinks milk directly from the carton. Gross.  Then, the mom excuses it because he's "eating organic."  It didn't so much convince me to buy their food as it convinced me that I wouldn't want a teenager like him in my house.

 

I'm pretty sure the mother defends the son because they have a sexual relationship.

 

But also, how did they "do good"?  Did he buy the cereal?  Did he select it?  Because it looks like he just walks into the room, rips a box of cereal out of his dad's hand* and dumps some of it into his maw.  It could have been anything. 

 

*Thereby symbolizing him taking his mother from his father.

Edited September 28, 2014 by janie jones

[cpcathy]

Granola may be organic, but it's very fattening. That's all I could think of while watching that commercial.

[Rick Kitchen]

Yanking the box out of his Dad's hand isn't "doing good" either.

[RealityGal]

The Nature's Path ad where the boy puts his mouth on the cereal box to eat, and drinks milk directly from the carton. Gross.  Then, the mom excuses it because he's "eating organic."  It didn't so much convince me to buy their food as it convinced me that I wouldn't want a teenager like him in my house.

 

No, no, no, you didn't do good at all!  Not even a little!  And how are they so calm?  How is a child with no basic table manners a good thing?  The first time he gets punched in the throat by a roommate for pulling that shit, you'll all be sorry!

 

I personally think Mom is taking some "dolls" or "mommy's little helpers" because her botoxed face barely moves.  And don't even get me started on dad, when did dad's all get their balls cut off?  I wouldn't have ever tried this in front of either of my parents, but in front of my dad?  WTF, maybe if I was trying to give him a stroke or something, but geez.

Edited September 28, 2014 by RealityGal

[Brattinella]

1000 times YES, RealityGal!

[mmecorday]

The Nature's Path commercial had me all kinds of confused because I was under the impression that granola can only be enjoyed in the outdoors, especially by hikers and rock climbers.

Edited October 2, 2014 by mmecorday

[Stella MD]

Blind hikers, no less.

[wovenloaf]

Has anyone seen that Eggland's Best commercial with everybody saying "It's EB" about the eggs? I saw that commercial today while at my parents' house, and my mother flew into a rant about how much the little girl at the end going "It's EB" irritates her, and then proceeded to do awful impressions of the little girl's voice. 

[Muffyn]

Has anyone seen that Eggland's Best commercial with everybody saying "It's EB" about the eggs? I saw that commercial today while at my parents' house, and my mother flew into a rant about how much the little girl at the end going "It's EB" irritates her, and then proceeded to do awful impressions of the little girl's voice. 

Your mother is one of us!  She should come join her tribe.

[RealityGal]

The Nature's Path commercial had me all kinds of confused because I was under the impression that granola can only be enjoyed in the outdoors, especially by hikers and rock climbers.

and generally only when you get to the top of the giant rock you were climbing.

[RedZoneTuba]

Re. granola commercials in general: As my aging carcass sits wrapped in my dingy bathrobe while I'm eating a bowl of granola, from under my bleary, heavily-lidded eyes I inevitably see some young 20-something granola-eating couple climbing over boulders to view a spectacular natural vista of pines and alpines lakes, I look down and wonder..."Maybe I'm putting too much milk in mine?"

 

(Apologies to Seinfeld)

[Lola16]

I just saw an irritating kid in a car commercial. Dad is driving this ungrateful wretch around, showing him impressive sights, but the kid is not impressed. Seeing a ginormous tree (not sure if it's a Redwood or Sequoia), kid says, "I thought it would be bigger." Undeterred, Dad takes him to the Grand Canyon. Kid just shrugs. Kid is finally impressed when Dad drives thru a herd of bison and one peers into the kid's window. I'm not sure why that is the thing the kid is finally impressed by, nor why you'd want a car to drive you all over to try and impress your ungrateful kid.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MqPCiTNHXVk

I get the urge to open up the door and let the little ingrate meet the bison up close and personal.

[Prevailing Wind]

I wouldn't have waited that long.  He'd be at the bottom of Grand Canyon.

[BabyVegas]

You guys, I finally found the one kid in commercials that I like! She says absolutely nothing, but she has the cutest expression on her face when her dad shows her pictures of elephants and her eyes get all wide and she gets really excited. She is so cute. I think that's the trick to having kids in your commercial. Just have them on for half a second and don't let them say anything.

Edited October 11, 2014 by BabyVegas

[riley702]

What is the commercial for? If anyone is tempted to answer "elephants",  consider yourself smacked in advance. :D

Edited October 12, 2014 by riley702

[BabyVegas]

It's for Google Voice. Everyone gets to say "ok" and then the last person says "ok, Google" and searches for something with Google Voice's touchless feature, for which the launch phrase is "Ok, google."

[Bruinsfan]

I can recall really liking the kids in the ad where they sign their father up to a dating website and the Cheez-It girl (ad below), but almost all children in ads are either too bratty or too precious and saccharine for me to tolerate.

Edited October 13, 2014 by Bruinsfan

[Brattinella]

Seriously, yet ANOTHER ultra-cutesy-poo child doing something despicable.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=55q9HDTR7nU

 

This is NOT CUTE, ad folks!

[Cobalt Stargazer]

That is seriously the stupidest commercial I've seen in the last day.

[riley702]

You, little girl, are going to wade in there, and pick it all up!!

[OSM Mom]

And then I'm going to drown you. Fucking brat.

[mmecorday]

And drown John Corbett too.

[ShadowSixx]

Yep I would've thrown her little ass right in that fountain to pick it all up and give it back to me.

[Cobalt Stargazer]

I want to smack this child

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TStnp6HnDAY

[Brattinella]

 

I want to smack this child

 

Me, too!  Rotten little brat.

[janie jones]

You want to slap the kid and not the creepy weirdo?

[Muffyn]

That commercial is seriously disturbing.  Until the chip following ending, it looks like he's a creep into little girls.  There's the misdirect you want to use to sell chips.  They're so tasty they'll distract you from your pedophile desires.  

[Bastet]

I could get motion sickness from that commercial.

[St. Claire]

I never got the vibe that he was creeping on the little girl; I thought he was fixated on the chips from the jump, especially the way she was chomping so loudly to draw attention. It is really rude to stare at someone else's snack food, though.

[RealityGal]

The entire chip commercial is confusing to me.  First - the guy looks drunk or hung over.  Second - they devote a long time in the commercial to the eyes back and forth thing, which looks like swaying, which could be caused by the fixation on the chip, or because the train is swaying, if they were sitting someplace stationary it would have more impact.  Third - I get the silent commercial, I totally get it, but it always seems to me, like if the commercial is silent they should be aiming for either a big, big moment that is crystal clear (the "I'm fixated on a chip so I hit a window" is a big moment, but the actions leading up to it don't support it because the swaying could be caused by the train) or it should be relatively short and get to the point (31 seconds is too long).  

 

I think its a funny premise, I just think it could have been done better.

[GaT]

I thought she was hypnotizing him with the chip.

[Aquarius]

I thought she was hypnotizing him with the chip.

 

That's exactly what I got too. 

[RealityGal]

I thought she was hypnotizing him with the chip.

I got that more towards the end, but at beginning, I didn't know if it was just some drunk guy swaying on a train.

[janie jones]

I never got the vibe that he was creeping on the little girl; I thought he was fixated on the chips from the jump, especially the way she was chomping so loudly to draw attention. It is really rude to stare at someone else's snack food, though.

I never thought he was creeping on the girl either.  He was, however, totally creeping on the chips.

[St. Claire]

Those poor chips; even potatoes don't deserve to be objectified that way. Oh. Wait. They are objects. Never mind.

[RealityGal]

Those poor chips; even potatoes don't deserve to be objectified that way. Oh. Wait. They are objects. Never mind.

Chipophelia.  Chris Hanson doesn't have a show for that, I guess the chips are really asking for it.

[potatoradio]

Oh, great, the Doritos superbowl commercial with the "cowboy" hellspawn is back. You know, the brat who, when his mother asks if she can get some help unloading the groceries, snots back, "I don't know. CAN you?" 

 

Instead of picking him up and sticking him head first in the dirt, she just smiles and says, "Oh, I guess you don't want any Doritos." And goes inside.

 

So, cowboy's friend goes for the Doritos and, of course, yehaw hellspawn can't have that, so he hops on the family dog, lassos the chips, and proceeds to start stuffing his face. 

 

The mom comes back out and THINKS THIS IS SOOOOO ADORABLY AWESOME!!!
 

Both she and her mate need to be sterilized immediately - no more crotchfruit if you're just going to let it go to rot. 

 

As for the unfortunate hellspawn the Earth is now blessed with, he can be dropped in a sewer. 

 

And the beautiful dog can get a more deserving home.

 

And the world will be a better place. 

 

 

[xls]

Oh, great, the Doritos superbowl commercial with the "cowboy" hellspawn is back. You know, the brat who, when his mother asks if she can get some help unloading the groceries, snots back, "I don't know. CAN you?" 

 

Instead of picking him up and sticking him head first in the dirt, she just smiles and says, "Oh, I guess you don't want any Doritos." And goes inside.

 

So, cowboy's friend goes for the Doritos and, of course, yehaw hellspawn can't have that, so he hops on the family dog, lassos the chips, and proceeds to start stuffing his face. 

 

The mom comes back out and THINKS THIS IS SOOOOO ADORABLY AWESOME!!!

 

Both she and her mate need to be sterilized immediately - no more crotchfruit if you're just going to let it go to rot. 

 

As for the unfortunate hellspawn the Earth is now blessed with, he can be dropped in a sewer. 

 

And the beautiful dog can get a more deserving home.

 

And the world will be a better place. 

I HATE that stupid commercial! At first I thought the one kid was a girl, but at the beginning of it Mom says "boys", so. She gave her son a Farrah Fawcett haircut?

[merylinkid]

Saw a new Halo commercial tonight.   Mom is standing in precious little daughter's doorway saying "I gave the last Halo to your little brother, I hope that's okay?"   Kid "sure it's okay."   Cut to Mom closing the door and baby brother is duct taped to the back of the door.

 

Look lady, why are you asking permission of your child to do something?   You're the adult.   You bought the Halos not the kid.   If you give the last one to the baby, that is your business.   If precious little daugther doesn't like it, tough noogies.   She throws up a fit, she doesn't get any Halos in the future.   

[Rick Kitchen]

This is even worse.  Death threats?  Really?