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Say What?: Commercials That Made Us Scratch Our Heads


Lola16
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They couldn't put the alarm clock in the unicorn's belly?? Why would I want my kid to wake up to an ass in their face every day? So based on the fact that these pieces of crap actually made it into production, here are my genius product ideas for next holiday season...

"Stinky the Skittish Skunk sprays his scent when you lift his tail!"

"Effie the Ebola stricken Elephant sneezes mucus when you pull her trunk!"

"And don't forget Iccabod the Incontinent Iguana! He'll shit all over the floor when you tug his tongue!"

$19.95 + S&H

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They couldn't put the alarm clock in the unicorn's belly?? Why would I want my kid to wake up to an ass in their face every day?

You must not have a cat, then. ;-)

Yeah, no kidding. There've been a couple of days where I've awakened with a cat's ass on my face.

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How about the Ugly Snuglies' ad execs' bright idea to include live animals?!  A child tentatively holding a live chick. The teacup pig in pearls. The bunnies who want no parts of this shambolic situation.

 

"Imagine your child or grandchild's face when they open up their Ugly Snugly." Hmmm...really imagine it. The look of a child thinking WTF while still maintaining the polite face that grown-ups expect.

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I just saw a trailer for Tea Leoni's show Madam Secretary. I've never watched the show, and the only thing I know about it is that she's playing the Secretary of State. But in the trailer, Morgan Freeman(!) is giving her the Presidential Oath of Office.

So the President, the Vice President, the Speaker of the House and the President pro tempore of the Senate are all dead/missing?

The President & Speaker were both on Air Force One, which was incommunicado (due to computer malware planted in the plane somehow) & declared missing, at least within the White House & temporarily. The VP came down with the flu--which may have also been gall bladder or appendix issues, I forget now--at a golf tournament & barfed all over another dignitary (like President Bush Sr. at that State Dinner in Japan), so he was hospitalized. The Senate President Pro Tempore had had a series of mini-strokes recently, didn't know who the current POTUS was, may have also been developing dementia, & was skipped over because even a staffer of his admitted he wasn't competent enough to serve. That's how the SecState became Acting President--she was the next 1 in line who was available/competent enough to serve. Morgan Freeman got to play the Judge who swore her in because he's an Exec Producer of the show & he directs it occasionally, possibly even this episode.

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The President & Speaker were both on Air Force One, which was incommunicado (due to computer malware planted in the plane somehow) & declared missing, at least within the White House & temporarily. The VP came down with the flu--which may have also been gall bladder or appendix issues, I forget now--at a golf tournament & barfed all over another dignitary (like President Bush Sr. at that State Dinner in Japan), so he was hospitalized. The Senate President Pro Tempore had had a series of mini-strokes recently, didn't know who the current POTUS was, may have also been developing dementia, & was skipped over because even a staffer of his admitted he wasn't competent enough to serve. That's how the SecState became Acting President--she was the next 1 in line who was available/competent enough to serve. Morgan Freeman got to play the Judge who swore her in because he's an Exec Producer of the show & he directs it occasionally, possibly even this episode.

This is on a commercial?!

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This is on a commercial?!

No. A poster upthread posted about a "trailer" (at least technically a commercial) for this week's (2 days ago now, as it's Tuesday) episode of Madam Secretary, which they saw. The commercial showed the title character--a fictional US Secretary of State, played by Téa Leoni--being sworn in as US President. The OP doesn't watch the show & wanted to know how that happened since the Secretary of State is, according to the show--& presumably the Constitution--fourth in the Presidential Line of Succession (Was everyone in the Line of Succession before her dead, or what?). Since I saw the ep, I explained it.

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They couldn't put the alarm clock in the unicorn's belly?? Why would I want my kid to wake up to an ass in their face every day?

If the alarm clock were in the belly, the unicorn would have to be in a sitting position to use it, so wouldn't the kid be waking up to its crotch instead? I don't see how that's any better.

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I THINK she is actually trying to say the word "Beauty".  But it comes out BEEDY.  I was leaning more to BEEDY-BEEDY. (Mel Blanc)

Heh. There's a local car dealership group with ads that always reminds me of that character - DGDG. 

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There's an ad for Jimmy John's that tells you to order your sandwich when you leave work and they'll beat you home. Why would you do that? So you can arrive home after a long, hard day to be greeted by a cold/soggy sandwich? And a pissed off delivery person who's been waiting for you?

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There's a touching commercial out from some health provider.  Middle school boy is pining from afar for a fair damsel, finally gets assigned as her partner in science, only to find out she has pink eye and they have to share a microscope.  Yada yada yada and he's home with his family and has given pink eye to his brothers and sisters.  Except, that they all have it in their left eyes only.  It's like some mutated pink eye virus that cannot find purchase in the rocky soil of anyone's right eye.

 

Very strange.

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I bet the originally silly reasoning there was they used the microscope with the left eye only (cuz they're all left-handed and that's how left-handed people would look through a scope? /wildguess), completely forgetting that once it got out of the original lab partner scenario there's absolutely no reason for it to continue to be one-sided.

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I was watching this new ad with a guy doing things with his old dog and crossing items off a list. At the end, I realized he was working on his dog's "bucket list". How depressing!

I didn't realize how depressing until recently, I noticed that the cake says 14 3/4 instead of 14, or 15. I think the implication is that doggie is not going to make it to 15. I don't think the guy would celebrate his dog's quarter year birthdays.

 

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There's a commercial now for some sexual aid for women who suffer from painful sex due to menopause. The drug apparently has every side effect known to man because after its use is briefly discussed by a cross looking lady with a Louise Brooks hairdo, all you hear is what terrible things it does to your body.

 

Is it an estrogen cream? Because I saw that one, too and thought, "wow, I'd so totally be in the mood after applying a cream that may cause stroke, heart attack, vaginal dryness...Honey! Come quick before some of these side effects kick in and I die!"

 

I saw an ad for a new pregnancy pee stick test; at first, I thought the V.O. said, "you're travelling, a regular stick may be difficult to manage." Say who? Oh, wait, not travelling. "You're TREMBLING, and a regular stick may be difficult to manage." So, ladies, behold: a new stick with a giant curved handle so you don't have to worry as much about how you pee when your hand is shaking. I mean, I understand nerves, but come on, if your hands are shaking like you're being electrocuted, I don't care what kind of handle is on the pee stick. You clearly need Mother's Little Helper NOW.

 

I'm glad Greg's Got It, but all I hear is "Greg's Goddess!", which would be a far more interesting commercial.

 

Maybe I need a hearing aid. I'd go get one, but my moderate to severe psoriasis makes me too ashamed to visit a doctor.

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Wonderful Pistachios commercials feature "celebrities" who enjoy their product in a distinctive way. For example, Keyboard Cat wears a t-shirt in the signature Wonderful green color, and opens pistachios "purrfectly" by putting them on the keyboard. In this spot, Snoop "habitually" keeps his pistachios in a Wonderful-green pill bottle—like medical marijuana.

I still say WTF. Why would Wonderful Pistachios want to be associated with an assclown like Snoop Dogg? So all the other potheads will eat them when they get the munchies? I find the whole keeping them in that pill bottle distasteful and a whole lot of creepy.

ETA - Apparently, Wonderful Pistachios must have gotten blowback on the ad. It's been removed from ispot.tv.

http://www.ispot.tv/ad/77u9/wonderful-pistachios-featuring-snoop-dogg

Edited by CarpeDiem54
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I still say WTF. Why would Wonderful Pistachios want to be associated with an assclown like Snoop Dogg? So all the other potheads will eat them when they get the munchies?

Plays pretty well here in Seattle, probably Denver, Portland and Anchorage too.  BFD.

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This one puzzles me. From the first scenario, it looks like the couple has talked themselves out of an "adventure" in their Subaru. And yet after contemplating the only alternative they can think of ("We have a lost couple in menswear" contemplating khakis), they decide the skunks, leeches, bears and Deliverance-type strangers wandering into camp ("Good morning!") just as the woman is faced with "going" in the great outdoors with no toilet paper IS the better choice after all? The hell? Khakis are that bad? Also, about that toilet paper - why does she only realize they're out just as she needs to go? Are we supposed to assume hubby has been shitting all over those woods and used it all up?

 

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This one puzzles me. From the first scenario, it looks like the couple has talked themselves out of an "adventure" in their Subaru. And yet after contemplating the only alternative they can think of ("We have a lost couple in menswear" contemplating khakis), they decide the skunks, leeches, bears and Deliverance-type strangers wandering into camp ("Good morning!") just as the woman is faced with "going" in the great outdoors with no toilet paper IS the better choice after all? The hell? Khakis are that bad? Also, about that toilet paper - why does she only realize they're out just as she needs to go? Are we supposed to assume hubby has been shitting all over those woods and used it all up?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sJrv1uWF6Q

That commercial always confuses me too

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This one puzzles me. From the first scenario, it looks like the couple has talked themselves out of an "adventure" in their Subaru. And yet after contemplating the only alternative they can think of ("We have a lost couple in menswear" contemplating khakis), they decide the skunks, leeches, bears and Deliverance-type strangers wandering into camp ("Good morning!") just as the woman is faced with "going" in the great outdoors with no toilet paper IS the better choice after all? The hell? Khakis are that bad? Also, about that toilet paper - why does she only realize they're out just as she needs to go? Are we supposed to assume hubby has been shitting all over those woods and used it all up?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0sJrv1uWF6Q

Yeah, I have NO idea why they think an afternoon at the mall is worse.

Payless Shoe Store has a new BOGO ad for a buy one get the next pair half off sale. That's not what BOGO means!

Edited by Ubiquitous
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Yeah, I have NO idea why they think an afternoon at the mall is worse.

Payless Shoe Store has a new BOGO ad for a buy one get the next pair half off sale. That's not what BOGO means!

I have been SCREAMING this for years! BOGO means BUY ONE GET ONE!  That's all! Buy One Get One (Free).

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