S03.E11: Joe's Story

[purpleflowers]

Joe, an 800-lb man who is mostly housebound tries to face his past and save his own life. 

[PityFree]

He has a very feminine look, despite the facial hair.

[Miss Chevious]

Credit goes to Joe for being somewhat mobile and for wearing shoes! He tries to walk a little and he does bathe himself so he's way ahead in that respect. He just needs more confidence so he can motivate himself.

[4leafclover]

Sad but it looks like his mom isn't too far behind him.  

[Miss Chevious]

Sad but it looks like his mom isn't too far behind him.

I mentioned this in the enabler thread but they could've qualified for the 2 for 1 special.

[Brooklynista]

Yes Joe should certainly have checked Groupon for a Buy One get One Half for gastric. No way he should have had that surgery without his mother on the table right next to him.

Good on Joe for getting in the kitchen and cooking his own meals. I wish Bettie had done that for herself instead of whining at her husband about pairing Hamburger Helper and green beans. And finally someone shows how useful tracking your caloric intake can be. It's surprising how quickly mindless munching can add up in calories.

[notyrmomma]

Why does it seem that Dr. Now helps some more than others?  He put Paula in the hospital to help her lose weight, how come he couldn't do that with Joe?   Was Paula really in worse shape?

[purpleflowers]

I felt so sad for Joe about the things he was mentioning in his past. I hope he can find a way to continue believing in himself and that he finds true happiness. It was great to FINALLY see a nutritionist working with the patient and interesting to see how he cooked for himself afterwards. I would have liked to see more of what he was cooking for himself after getting a better idea of nutrition. 

It's an interesting dynamic when it comes to the enablers or family members involved in the person's life. This isn't the first time the patient or the enabler has said that they get really upset or mad when they're not given the food they want. 

[PityFree]

. Weird thing. IIRC, Dr. Now said Joe needed to lose 120 lbs. Next visit it was 150. Next visit? 170. WTF, Dr. Now?

[WhoaWhoKnew]

. Weird thing. IIRC, Dr. Now said Joe needed to lose 120 lbs. Next visit it was 150. Next visit? 170. WTF, Dr. Now?

He gained weight after the first visit, so the amount he had to lose for surgery went up. By time he got approved he had lost 170 pounds.

[Morgalisa]

Very impressed that Joe had multiple pairs of shoes.  He seems like a nice guy.  I am looking forward to the follow-up on him.  I hope he has great success.  I think he will need lots of skin removal.

[non sequitur]

This one was strange and depressing.  I thought Joe would have to stay in the hospital for much longer to get his weight down.  His mother had a bit of a creepy vibe where she was just staring at him and crying.  I think she needs help as well.  

 

Even though he seemed defensive, the nutritionist appointment helped Joe understand food a lot better.

 

Happy to see that there are wider crocs available to wear since a foot cut or injury could be disaster for some of the people on this show.

[MrHufflepuff]

I'm glad Joe got his act together with his diet, but...

 

I had to roll my eyes when the nutritionist found ice cream in his fridge.  I know there are low-fat and sugar-free ice creams on the market, but come on.  I really doubt Dr. Now handed Joe an info sheet saying it was okay to eat ice cream.

 

But, at least he turned it around, so I'll stop rolling my eyes now.

[PityFree]

He gained weight after the first visit, so the amount he had to lose for surgery went up. By time he got approved he had lost 170 pounds.

But he didn't gain 30 pounds the first time and second time he had lost weight so why did doctor now keep moving the goal posts? It makes no sense to me. Maybe Dr now is having memory issues.

[NYCFree]

I was so afraid that Joe was going to die on the operating table when there were just a few minutes left in the episode when he went in for surgery.

It looked like he was using the same Ap I do, MyFitnessPal. When he was telling the doctor about eating twice a day, I was thinking if he tracked everything he would be shocked at how it adds up.

He was so great to himself. From actually following the nutritional advice to seeing a therapist and going to a gym. I don't know him and I was proud of him.

[4leafclover]

I hate to say this but......I wish Dr. Now would stop dying his hair!

[Brooklynista]

Once shoe gets his weight under control, I hope he pays it forward and helps his mother. This could have been a double feature. The way she was walking looked so labored and painful, losing weight would certainly help her mobility.

[RedKoolAide]

I was expecting to really dislike Joe for the entire episode but he turned it around. I find him and his mom to be socially awkward. They both kind of had flat affects most of the time, too.

I can understand why these people still get gastric bypass surgery after they show they can lose a significant amount of weight. They are food addicts. Their risk of backsliding is high. Sure Joe lost 150 lbs following the diet, but even he said he didn't know how long his will power would hold. Hopefully, the surgery and following the diet will keep him on track.

I hope he gets down to his goal weight so that he can wear pants that don't have holes in them in the thigh area. I understand. I'm not morbidly obese but my thighs do rub together.

Joe's niece was so cute.

[Lesia]

Now, if he can lose weight without the surgery, how about he just keeps going?  Why remove 3/4 of your stomach?  Why subject the body to such trauma? Anybody remember a show called "Fat March"?  A team of overweight people walked like across the country!  They drastically changed their diets and were weighed at different points.  I know it's unrealistic to walk across many states, but it shows that it can be done.  Why anyone would want to remove practically an entire organ is beyond me.

[Cherrio]

He has a very feminine look, despite the facial hair.

Thats what I thought too.  I kept saying he is a guy who looks more like a girl.  I was also wondering if the reason his father ignored him was because he acted feminine as a child?

         This episode just gave me the willies.  I guess I cant take anymore of these bathroom scenes, the obese enablers and the rest of it.   The mother was strange too.

          I am also very much against this surgery when the patient can clearly lose the weight without it.  Therapy, a nutritionist and exercise are such better options.

 Why not praise the effort and success and build confidence to continue without the surgery?

[aliya]

I just don't understand how people don't know about calories and nutrition, even a little, 'Oh, I didn't realize it added up like that!'  No sh$t, Sherlock.

 

Just today I posted on a FB group that follows a basically vegan for health eating program. I started changing a few years ago and told one of my sisters, who was really big and had been that way most of her life. She said she never read labels and just ate what she wanted. I still don't understand how a person with a college education and the ability to read a woman's magazine, could not know something about nutrition these days. Deciding not to follow a plan is one thing, but not realizing that you might want to concern yourself with calories, fat, etc. is beyond my ken.

 

Anyway, she started going mostly vegetarian and dropped a ton. Once she realize how much crap was in processed food, she started making more of her own, and she hates to cook. She stopped eating at buffets and greasy spoons. Over the years she's kept most of it off - all from reading labels and making decisions about what she eats.

 

I have a son older than Joe. I know they teach nutrition (albeit at a very low level and pushing meats & dairy) in schools these days. How could Joe not understand the difference between a small yogurt and a double whopper?  

 

I don't want to be too uncharitable, but it's obvious his mother wasn't going to be any help. That was sad right there. I hoped she'd lose weight along with him, but it didn't look like it. I wish Joe luck; he seemed like a nice guy.

[Cherrio]

Yes Joe should certainly have checked Groupon for a Buy One get One Half for gastric. No way he should have had that surgery without his mother on the table right next to him.

Good on Joe for getting in the kitchen and cooking his own meals. I wish Bettie had done that for herself instead of whining at her husband about pairing Hamburger Helper and green beans. And finally someone shows how useful tracking your caloric intake can be. It's surprising how quickly mindless munching can add up in calories.

Also, the nutritionist pointed out which calories are good and which to avoid by read the labels.   It makes such a difference in so many ways.

[deedee2]

Joe broke my heart more than most of the others who've been featured on the show. He really wanted to change, but just had no clue. I couldn't believe that it was a revelation to him that his food choices had been so unhealthy. I mean, those sugary, chemically drinks alone can ruin even a healthy diet. It was so nice to see him work hard and give it his all without giving up. By the end, I found his perseverance touching and inspiring. looking forward to his followup episode.

 

Question: are they not allowed vegetables because of carbs and bulk? I can't imagine eating chicken, eggs, and other high protein foods for months without also having plenty of fresh greens!

[Armchair Critic]

At first I was annoyed with Joe for feeling so sorry for himself, glad he pulled himself together enough to lose the weight needed for the surgery. I don't doubt his mother eats the ice cream and probably still was eating all the junk food Joe wasn't supposed to have.

[deedee2]

. Weird thing. IIRC, Dr. Now said Joe needed to lose 120 lbs. Next visit it was 150. Next visit? 170. WTF, Dr. Now?

 

It went like this: 1st visit, Joe was told to lose 120 lbs to get down to about 650lbs. Next visit, he gained, IIRC, 19 lbs, so Dr. Now aksed him to lose 150lbs, still with the goal of reaching about 650lbs. Third visit, Joe lost 70 lbs, putting him at the 720lb mark, so Dr. Now told him he still needed to lose another 70 lbs (not 170 lbs) to reach 650. So, he wasn't moving the goal post. The end weight was always 650 to qualify for surgery.

[hottesthw]

Question: are they not allowed vegetables because of carbs and bulk? I can't imagine eating chicken, eggs, and other high protein foods for months without also having plenty of fresh greens!

The way it was explained to me was that after surgery only so much food will physically fit in their stomach (carbs, soda etc expand & take up space) and the most important food to get in needs to be protein. So you eat the protein first and fit the rest (greens and veggies) if you can. A healthy mix is obviously best but if it can only be one or the other it has to be protein. Edited March 12, 2015 by hottesthw

[Muffyn]

This episode was just so dull to me.  Most of the episode was Joe saying, "I hope the doctor will qualify me for surgery," "I really need to do this," "It's so important that I do this," "I really want the surgery."  It just sounded like meaningless platitudes in a flat affect.  I am glad he got therapy and time with a nutritionist.  

[Armchair Critic]

I had to laugh when his niece (sister?) grabbed a box out of the freezer, threw something on a plate and microwaved it. He could have done that himself!

[Micks Picks]

Well the producers seemed to be listening to the criticisms and had Joe actually put in real effort and learn new eating techniques rather than just grab the surgery and go.  He had to see a counselor and nutritionist and effect change himself first.  Mama should be making the journey with him.

[swankie]

Why does it seem that Dr. Now helps some more than others?  He put Paula in the hospital to help her lose weight, how come he couldn't do that with Joe?   Was Paula really in worse shape?

 

 

Do you mean Pauline?  If so, I think Pauline had a history of blood clots.  That's why Dr. Now was so adamant about her getting up and walking soon after her surgery.  He was afraid that her immobility would cause her to get blood clots which could kill her.  Pauline refused to get up and walk so Dr. Now hospitalized her and did some type of procedure that would prevent blood clots.  I think it was a blood clot filter.

Edited March 12, 2015 by swankie

[notyrmomma]

Do you mean Pauline?  If so, I think Pauline had a history of blood clots.  That's why Dr. Now was so adamant about her getting up and walking soon after her surgery.  He was afraid that her immobility would cause her to get blood clots which could kill her.  Pauline refused to get up and walk so Dr. Now hospitalized her and did some type of procedure that would prevent blood clots.  I think it was a blood clot filter.

Yes, Pauline, sorry!  Dr. Now also put her in the hospital to lose weight to qualify her for surgery (he did the same thing for Penny, that was the only time she lost weight)- I specifically remember Pauline eating a huge plate of baked chicken, skin and all, in the hospital.  The only thing I can think of is that Joe had his age on his side as he was a good 10+ years younger than both Penny and Pauline and the real health consequences of being 700 lbs hadn't kicked in yet - but I wish Dr. Now would have still checked him into the hospital and saved him from himself because he wasted an entire year (trust me, he will struggle with eating correctly after his surgery whether or not the dr made him "prove" he can do it on his own first).

[Granny58]

Why does it seem that Dr. Now helps some more than others?  He put Paula in the hospital to help her lose weight, how come he couldn't do that with Joe?   Was Paula really in worse shape?

I wondered that myself, but I have to assume he treats everyone the same (i.e. weighing their problems and options) and we don't get to see it all.  Paula probably ate that up (pun!) while Joe is more independent.  I liked him.  I wish him well.  

He has a very feminine look, despite the facial hair.

that amount of fat may be messing with his endocrine system and PERHAPS producing too much estrogen. 

Edited March 12, 2015 by Granny58

[Armchair Critic]

Half the show was him getting in vans. LOL

[gunderda]

But he didn't gain 30 pounds the first time and second time he had lost weight so why did doctor now keep moving the goal posts? It makes no sense to me. Maybe Dr now is having memory issues.

The end goal was always the same - 650 lbs. 

It drove me nuts that after his first 70 Joe was all disappointed that he wasn't approved for surgery. I wanted to scream at the tv - "HE'S TOLD YOU TWO TIMES NOW YOU HAVE TO GET DOWN TO 650. How is that so hard to understand!?" 

 

Now, if he can lose weight without the surgery, how about he just keeps going?  Why remove 3/4 of your stomach?  Why subject the body to such trauma? Anybody remember a show called "Fat March"?  A team of overweight people walked like across the country!  They drastically changed their diets and were weighed at different points.  I know it's unrealistic to walk across many states, but it shows that it can be done.  Why anyone would want to remove practically an entire organ is beyond me.

I know this question has been answered time and time again and the answer is -  it's just not that easy. These people struggle to go on the initial diet. Angel basically starved herself. I'm sure much of the others do as well to meet that initial goal that Dr. Now sets for them.  They do that because they know it's only for a couple of months. Long term doing that for them would not work - they need that extra little thing to help them.  Shrinking the stomach makes them feel full.  If they don't feel full they keep eating. 

 

I don't get why that's so hard to understand.  

Half the show was him getting in vans. LOL

And another episode where they had many difference vans.  I'm only assuming it's because they probably didn't own one and had to rent one every single time? 

[Bellalisa]

Dr. Now said that to maintain a 777 pound body, you have to take in 10,000 calories a day. All he had to do was cut his calories to 6,000 a day and he would have lost a pound a day. These very obese people can lose weight very quickly at first because of the resting metabolism uses a lot of energy just to push the blood around etc. They can eat 5000 calories a day and still lose! When they dont lose anything on their own, Dr N knows they are eating A LOT.

 

Once they have the surgery they can lose even faster because if they eat 2,000 a day they can lose 40-50 pounds a month. It does help them . I was on board the "well they are losing weight without it, why not continue?" train but this is only because at first they can lose a drastic amount very quickly. Dr. N said that does not continue to lose so quickly after the beginning. He says it is not unusual to see a 100 pound weight loss in 3 months. 

 

When they put them in the hospital on the 1200 calorie diet, the weight just flies off.

 

Anyway, the mother was a big enabler. What else is new? 

[Taylorh2]

I wanted Joe's mother to stand on the scale.

 

Do the apts that the patients stay in while in TX belong to the hospital ? They are the same ones, right ?

[Momof2boyz]

Do the apts that the patients stay in while in TX belong to the hospital ? They are the same ones, right ?

Maybe the show puts them up there.

[Guest dutronc]

I don't think they're the same. Pauline and Amber's looked very similar, but Joe's looked different from both. He had tiling throughout (I'm thinking of redoing my tile, so I'm obsessed with tile and notice it always). Amber and Pauline (and I think Bettie Jo) lived in brown-toned complexes that were at least two stories, and had wall to wall carpet. I wouldn't be surprised if Bettie Jo, Amber and Pauline all lived in the same complex, but if they didn't, their apartments were very similar, and also very similar in that there was nothing unusual about them. Very typical for middle to lower income, college students, etc. 

[winsomeone]

I half bought into the story that Joe over ate because his father always ignored him, until I saw the size of his mother. That boy's main problem, was eating at his mother's table, period!

[AltLivia]

It just killed me when Joe's sister pulled out a box of Lean Pockets and made him both of them. I've seen folks do that and I always think, "a serving is clearly not the whole box!"  It looked like his mother walked in a few hours later with a bag of Taco Bell, going "Are you ready for dinner?" and Joe idly said "...sure!" Like, he was just feeling a wee bit peckish and why not partake, since he wasn't busy.

 

And it amazed me that Joe was eating as someone else was carrying his mattress out of the house! I know that Joe could not possibly manage to move the mattress. But you're going for weight loss surgery. People are helping you out. At least give them a sense that you're not throwing the opportunity away.

 

I'm living with anorexia myself (and am hoping to work with a nutritionist soon). But it amazed me that Joe "didn't know" that calories added up. Yes, he did. You could see how embarrassed he was - and that was uncomfortable. I felt for him. It's just strange how so many participants on this show are like, "I don't know how I got this way." 

 

ETA: I wish the show set up the obese person with nursing care/a professional caretaker, instead of giving them the option of trucking in family members. It'd be a good step toward independence

Edited March 12, 2015 by AltLivia

[Taylorh2]

winsomeone:  I totally agree with you,

[Scorpiosunshine]

It was wonderful to see Joe smiling and happy by the end of the episode. I have a feeling it had been a long time since he felt happy.

I didn't have high hopes for him at the beginning, but as the episode went on he stepped up a bit more and more.

I hope he is successful. (Best chance would be if Mom joined in, but even if she doesnt, I hope he keeps rocking the therapy/ weight loss /healthy eating/exercise)

[gunderda]

I wanted Joe's mother to stand on the scale.

 

Do the apts that the patients stay in while in TX belong to the hospital ? They are the same ones, right ?

To me they've all been different.  The ones in this episode looked really really rough - complete with bars on the doors. 

[Guest dutronc]

I was mixed on Joe. He had a strange cultivated helplessness, and I thought his explanation for his weight was kind of weak. I know environment and experience shape people, but he seemed to be looking for a reason. He also said he had tried to kill himself a few years ago, so I wonder if his flatness and addiction are more rooted in depression and not Distant Dad. Joe also didn't seem to have any goals. He just wanted to not die, which is a good goal, but nothing like get a job, find a partner, travel, walk around, etc. 

[gunderda]

It was interesting that for the most part he lived alone.  But I wonder HOW he was able to do that?  How was he able to afford a house??

[Guest dutronc]

I was wondering that, too! It looked like a nice, solid, generally well-maintained house, although with original kitchen and bath. I would guess, without any other information, that it was a relative's house and he got to live for free or low-cost.

[Ocean Chick]

A nutritionist as well as a therapist?  I think I might have died and gone to heaven!  The show's producers must be lurking here and heard our pleas for some practical help for these people.  I'm glad Joe finally figured it out - exercise and reading labels and cooking for himself.  No way should he be relying on his mother (who was grossly obese herself, and old as well) to cook his meals.  He actually should take over the cooking for her.  She might actually lose some weight and be able to walk better.  And I like (not) how he threw his sister under the bus when talking to Dr. Now about who brought him his food, and when Dr. Now asked about his mother, he defended her by saying she only brought him what he told her to.  I hope he later apologized to his sister about that.

 

I ended up rooting for Joe though.  He does seem in a better place mentally and physically.  I hope he keeps up with the therapy and exercise and that we see a dramatic difference next year on the updates.

[Barb23]

Hope they do a follow-up on Joe. I don't think he's going to have much success. IMO, he came across as the surgery being a magic pill & once he had it, pounds would be flying off of him without realizing he will still have to do the work. How many times has Dr. Now heard the "we could only eat fast food while traveling" line? I was waiting for him to put his hand up stopping Joe mid-sentence & saying I've heard it all before. Joe's shoving down a full size sub while others are packing & he's eating all the way to Texas. Why do these people come across as being so stupid that they don't realize fresh food is much healthier & less caloric than processed food? It's like the produce dept is a new invention. I realize that they are addicted to food & in their minds, food solves all their problems. I did like how the nutritionist didn't chastise him for what food he had but offered better choices. Can't these people get a hobby to get their minds off of food? I am soo tired of seeing naked 600 lb bodies struggling in their bathrooms but was glad Joe could walk & for the most part, took care of his hygiene on his own.

Now about mom. I'm sure Joe didn't want or let her come into the appointments with him. I think he is embarrassed about her size also. He probably realized Dr Now would give them the enabler speech & suggest surgery or at least better eating habits for her. No wonder he has problems when she asked him if his "tummy" was full like she was talking to a toddler not her grown son.

[TEEVEE]

Thats what I thought too.  I kept saying he is a guy who looks more like a girl.  I was also wondering if the reason his father ignored him was because he acted feminine as a child?

         This episode just gave me the willies.  I guess I cant take anymore of these bathroom scenes, the obese enablers and the rest of it.   The mother was strange too.

          I am also very much against this surgery when the patient can clearly lose the weight without it.  Therapy, a nutritionist and exercise are such better options.

 Why not praise the effort and success and build confidence to continue without the surgery?

I work in healthcare and see the complications from gastric bypass. Probably 1 case a day through the ED. Either early in the process or years down the line, there will always be a complication. And...most of these pts never get at a healthy weight. They always endure nutrition issues, have a grey hue to their skin. I am totally against these surgeries but Dr. Now has a lucrative business. I am in agreement that these people need therapy first to succeed, and then a nutrionist. I have empathy for a person who is overweight, to a degree. But these 600 pounders, Whitney, etc...not so much. Did they not see they had a problem at 400 pounds? When they couldn't drive anymore? And the people who cook and bring the fast food over? I would never do those things for someone I loved, no matter what.

[gunderda]

Now about mom. I'm sure Joe didn't want or let her come into the appointments with him. I think he is embarrassed about her size also. He probably realized Dr Now would give them the enabler speech & suggest surgery or at least better eating habits for her. No wonder he has problems when she asked him if his "tummy" was full like she was talking to a toddler not her grown son.

 

To me it seemed towards a certain point in the show his mom appeared that she couldn't get around easily and was nearly glued to her wheel chair. Especially when she's shown sitting in it at home - that likely means she isn't up and walking herself.  Sitting in the car was probably just easier for both of them. 

 

It even seemed like at the grocery store she didn't go in with him. 

speaking of the grocery store... i cringed when he started to pick up the juice but was so proud of him for reading the label and putting it back!