Michelle and JimBob aka J'Chelle and Boob

[Julia]

And what JB & M fail to understand is that youthful transgressions help shape who we are. Most kids are given the freedom to do stupid things when they are young and learn lessons from them when they suffer consequences.

 

and what's more, since they can't involve the outside world for fear of looking like less-than-perfect parents, the consequences boil down to "Jim Bob and Michelle are going to behave like assholes and you're going to to be forced to live in a fishbowl while they judge you." Which, funnily enough, is exactly what's going to happen if you don't transgress. Not seeing a downside there.

[Cherrio]

I have found out the neighbor was blind.

 

Combined with GeeGolly's "source"  Michelle seduced a blind gay guy, who was in his late 80's.

[Skittl1321]

Who the hell mows the lawn in a bikini, anyway?

Bikini top and daisy dukes is how you get a tan while mowing.  (We used a push mower, not a riding mower.)

 

I knew very few high school girls who DIDN'T mow the lawn in that outfit.

[JenCarroll]

A long time ago (seems like forever) we were talking about Mechelle and the bikini story, and JenCarroll commented that if we could find that neighbor now, he'd say, "There was a girl mowing the lawn in a bikini?"    

 

And there's a really basic issue with that.  Was she using a push mower, or riding?  Either way, I've seen many a female cut grass with a riding mower wearing a bikini top, but shorts on.  Because mowing the grass is a dirty, sweaty job.  The smart girls all wear shorts because your butt gets sweaty wet if you're riding.  (And your shoulders are "glistening" and your back is just - you know - an attractive sticky sweaty waterfall).   I'm sure teenagers on mowers is attractive to someone, and maybe even could spark a firey discussion at the dinner table, if a guy really obsessed about it.  On the other hand, if she's pushing a mower around the yard wearing a bikini from top to bottom - I'm saying she's just stupid.  Especially if she used a weed eater at the end.

 

but hey, we're missing the bigger point.  Apparently there was a day in the life of Michelle when she actually did a chore.  Admittedly, I wasn't a regular watcher, but I'm not sure I ever saw her do any kind of chore before.  Too bad we don't have THAT on tape.  (Maybe the neighbor got custody of the tape in the divorce!)

 

I miss JenC.  Come back to us, deary!!!

Oh yeah, that was my line: "Never noticed." Wow, I can't believe this came up on the very day I did come back! I just spent two days reading the small talk thread and may well spend another two days trying to compose responses -- my goodness, peeps, what a lot of things we all have going on. The joys and the tragedies. And now I have to catch up on what's going on in Duggar Land.... Anyone want to pm me a synopsis of, say, the last four to six weeks?

lmao Happy, I hadn't really put that together -- the REALLY unlikely thing about the bikini/lawnmower story is that it has Michelle doing a chore!

[Bella]

 

Anyone want to pm me a synopsis of, say, the last four to six weeks?

 

Bumpersticker version: Crazypants.

 

Highlights, in completely random order: M4 was born, the show was cancelled, the spin-off has allegedly been iced because JimBoob thinks the show is about him and didn't want anyone else having TV time unless he controlled it (or something like that), Marsiah broke up, the Dillards are in Central America somewhere and seem to be happier (IMO), the forum has had mod turnover, InTouch seems to have run out of shoes to drop or is saving them for impact after everyone's back from summer vacation, the Lost Girls are still lost, the Howlers are still howling, and Jinger isn't yet free. 

 

Others can feel free to jump in and give their versions, but that's my recent-developments-in-Duggarville elevator speech.

 

And welcome back, JenCarroll.

[Churchhoney]

I have found out the neighbor was blind.

 

Combined with GeeGolly's "source"  Michelle seduced a blind gay guy, who was in his late 80's.

 

Now, see, this shows that she is probably the most accomplished seductress ever. She overcomes biological sexual orientation, makes the blind to see and revives the half-dead as if they were Lazarus. Damn good thing TLC always blots out her knees. Far too many gay marriages would already be broken up if Michelle were on the loose.

Edited August 7, 2015 by Churchhoney

[truthtalk2014]

Now, see, this shows that she is probably the most accomplished seductress ever. She overcomes biological sexual orientation, makes the blind to see and revives the half-dead as if they were Lazarus. Damn good thing TLC always blots out her knees. Far too many gay marriages would already be broken up if Michelle were on the loose.

Sorry but this is the laugh of the day on this thread.  OMG!  

[Marigold]

In reality, not Duggar world, there are far more worse things that some girl in a bikini.  Really Michelle, it's not that big of a deal.

My shirt was too low cut and I think I showed a little too much when I bent over. And who cares? 

 

It's so bizarre to me that Michelle is really stuck on that and find that like a whole big issue in her mind.  It's nothing.  It's NOTHING. Even in a fundamentalist world (which i was raised) it's nothing.  At best you look back and think "bad choice" and move along. It's nothing to focus on.  I was in that faith for years and I've NEVER heard such nonsense.  The most you hear is "God put it on my heart to dress more modestly and so I am not wearing X anymore"  Everyone nods. There is no drama.  

[Julia]

In reality, not Duggar world, there are far more worse things that some girl in a bikini.  Really Michelle, it's not that big of a deal.

My shirt was too low cut and I think I showed a little too much when I bent over. And who cares? 

 

It's so bizarre to me that Michelle is really stuck on that and find that like a whole big issue in her mind.  It's nothing.  It's NOTHING. Even in a fundamentalist world (which i was raised) it's nothing.  At best you look back and think "bad choice" and move along. It's nothing to focus on.  I was in that faith for years and I've NEVER heard such nonsense.  The most you hear is "God put it on my heart to dress more modestly and so I am not wearing X anymore"  Everyone nods. There is no drama.  

 

I think, though, you're responding to the assumption that this is a painful memory for Michelle. I think she's repentbragging. You want to know why I need a license to show these knees? Because these knees are unbelievably hot and leave shattered lives in their wake. And didn't the appearance of that story more or less coincide with the realization that Jim Bob isn't going to be able to use Michelle's womb as a billboard for his virility any more? 

[GeeGolly]

Now, see, this shows that she is probably the most accomplished seductress ever. She overcomes biological sexual orientation, makes the blind to see and revives the half-dead as if they were Lazarus. Damn good thing TLC always blots out her knees. Far too many gay marriages would already be broken up if Michelle were on the loose.

Oh my goodness! Your making me laugh so hard 'tears' are almost streaming down my legs.

[Cherrio]

Oh my goodness! Your making me laugh so hard 'tears' are almost streaming down my legs.

Clean up in the Michelle and Jim Bob forum needed. :)

[Defrauder]

I challenge Michelle to mow the lawn naked and see if any guy divorces over it. Except maybe JimBob.

[Ms Lark]

Now, see, this shows that she is probably the most accomplished seductress ever. She overcomes biological sexual orientation, makes the blind to see and revives the half-dead as if they were Lazarus. Damn good thing TLC always blots out her knees. Far too many gay marriages would already be broken up if Michelle were on the loose.

And Sonny Boy Williamson, Eric Clapton and The Who sang about her: Eyesight to the Blind!

[Churchhoney]

And Sonny Boy Williamson, Eric Clapton and The Who sang about her: Eyesight to the Blind!

 

Music with a beat. She really is going to hell.

[Joe Jitsu913]

I feel like Michelle brags about it because it reminds her and her daughters that she was once a "hot" teenager who was allowed the freedom to wear bikinis in public. It's also to remind her daughters that she was once a sexually desired being (in her own mind, of course). The J'slaves have never been allowed to be sexually desirable. They don't have the freedom to mow the lawn in anything less than a heavy denim skirt and ugly ass Polo.

It's Michelle's twisted way of feeling superior to them plus she gets to play the role of the evil sinning heathen who was saved from her whoring ways by Jim Blob.

[kalamac]

The arrogance Michelle displays in thinking her bikini body could cause the breakdown of a marriage is now carried through to her religion.

The idea that you're so very important that God micromanages every moment of your life, even while there's other things that could use his attention - like little kids dying of diseases that shouldn't even exist, it is the most self-centered way of having faith.

[Dejana]

The arrogance Michelle displays in thinking her bikini body could cause the breakdown of a marriage is now carried through to her religion.

The idea that you're so very important that God micromanages every moment of your life, even while there's other things that could use his attention - like little kids dying of diseases that shouldn't even exist, it is the most self-centered way of having faith.

 

Responding in the "old time religion" thread

 

 

I feel like Michelle brags about it because it reminds her and her daughters that she was once a "hot" teenager who was allowed the freedom to wear bikinis in public. It's also to remind her daughters that she was once a sexually desired being (in her own mind, of course). The J'slaves have never been allowed to be sexually desirable. They don't have the freedom to mow the lawn in anything less than a heavy denim skirt and ugly ass Polo.

It's Michelle's twisted way of feeling superior to them plus she gets to play the role of the evil sinning heathen who was saved from her whoring ways by Jim Blob.

 

Similar to Jim Bob and Michelle's golf course antics and other instances of throwing their freedom to kiss in their unmarried children's faces...

Edited August 8, 2015 by Dejana

[Defrauder]

Just read an article online from the Inquisitr, posted August 4th, titled - Duggar Family Outed for Child Endangerment and Maltreatment.  It concerns the living conditions of the children in 2002-2004 when they were in the small house and how it broke the law for the number of people being in that size of a house and how Jim Bob would have known he was breaking the law being a licensed real estate agent.  It also goes on to state that he blew $250,000 cash on his campaign instead of providing adequate housing for his children and how he bragged that he would only buy second hand shoes for them for $1.50.  It also went on to say that many of the children slept in each other's beds (boys with girls) and how there weren't enough beds for all of them.  Also mentions that these conditions were present when the sexual assault of Josh's non family victim occurred and how Jim Bob didn't deal with it because of his campaign.  Plus quoting Jim Bob as referring to his children as his hobby.

Edited August 8, 2015 by Defrauder

[Churchhoney]

The arrogance Michelle displays in thinking her bikini body could cause the breakdown of a marriage is now carried through to her religion.

The idea that you're so very important that God micromanages every moment of your life, even while there's other things that could use his attention - like little kids dying of diseases that shouldn't even exist, it is the most self-centered way of having faith.

 

Oddly, God was not responsible for canceling 19 Kids, however. I believe this is called "trying to have it both ways."

[Defrauder]

Oddly, God was not responsible for canceling 19 Kids, however. I believe this is called "trying to have it both ways."

Yes - when things go their way it's due to God, when things don't go their way it's due to some other cause.  When Jim Bob neglected providing an adequate home for his children back when he had 14-16 kids to care for and blew $250,000 on his senate campaign he said that God wanted him to run for Senate.  When he lost the campaign looks like God didn't want him to run for Senate after all.  

[Churchhoney]

Yes - when things go their way it's due to God, when things don't go their way it's due to some other cause.  When Jim Bob neglected providing an adequate home for his children back when he had 14-16 kids to care for and blew $250,000 on his senate campaign he said that God wanted him to run for Senate.  When he lost the campaign looks like God didn't want him to run for Senate after all.  

 

Either God is very indecisive. Or God wanted JB to be branded as a laughable failure.

 

This is another stupid bind they get into with this micromanagement stuff. Don't know why they can't see it.

[Julia]

When he lost the campaign looks like God didn't want him to run for Senate after all.  

 

I think he was trying to mend fences with that, because he didn't make much of a secret that he figured God was calling him to run because Sen. Hutchinson was a great big adulterous whoredog who didn't deserve to be in public office.

 

Sen. Hutchinson (who ended up losing his election and moving to DC), the future Mrs. Hutchinson, Rep. Hutchinson (his brother) and pretty much the entire political establishment of cultural conservative Republican Arkansas reportedly didn't appreciate that too much. Jim Bob got way too many plum spots as a newcomer state politician for him not to have bitten a bunch of hands that were feeding him up to that point.

[Churchhoney]

Tense emendations mine:

 

God [is calling me] to run because Sen. Hutchinson [is] a great big adulterous whoredog who [doesn't] deserve to be in public office.

 

 

 

Why am I picturing this on a billboard with JB's face on it? ....and maybe a fuzzy shot of Michelle mowing lawn in a bikini behind him ....

[Marigold]

True. Michelle is bragging with her repentence story.  Guess I got mixed up with real people.  How real people process experiences. Sorry. I will try to stay in crazyland. 

[NewDigs]

Just read an article online from the Inquisitr, posted August 4th, titled - Duggar Family Outed for Child Endangerment and Maltreatment.  It concerns the living conditions of the children in 2002-2004 when they were in the small house and how it broke the law for the number of people being in that size of a house and how Jim Bob would have known he was breaking the law being a licensed real estate agent.  It also goes on to state that he blew $250,000 cash on his campaign instead of providing adequate housing for his children and how he bragged that he would only buy second hand shoes for them for $1.50.  It also went on to say that many of the children slept in each other's beds (boys with girls) and how there weren't enough beds for all of them.  Also mentions that these conditions were present when the sexual assault of Josh's non family victim occurred and how Jim Bob didn't deal with it because of his campaign.  Plus quoting Jim Bob as referring to his children as his hobby.

The info here and in the article is breathtaking!

I posted a link to the article in the Media thread .

[JenCarroll]

I think, though, you're responding to the assumption that this is a painful memory for Michelle. I think she's repentbragging. You want to know why I need a license to show these knees? Because these knees are unbelievably hot and leave shattered lives in their wake. And didn't the appearance of that story more or less coincide with the realization that Jim Bob isn't going to be able to use Michelle's womb as a billboard for his virility any more?

As usual, Julia, you manage to say what I was thinking only much, much more clearly. Edited August 8, 2015 by JenCarroll

[Defrauder]

Thanks for posting the link to the article in the Media Thread NewDigs.  The article seems right on the money to me and it really shows JB & Michelle's neglect of their children as well as their selfishness.

[yankee1151]

Yes - when things go their way it's due to God, when things don't go their way it's due to some other cause.  When Jim Bob neglected providing an adequate home for his children back when he had 14-16 kids to care for and blew $250,000 on his senate campaign he said that God wanted him to run for Senate.  When he lost the campaign looks like God didn't want him to run for Senate after all.  

Yep, and the pill caused the miscarriage with J'Caleb.  Wonder who/what they blame for Jubilee?  My money is on Josiah, for his reaction to the pregnancy announcement.  

 

BTW I'm totally not snarking on Michelle's miscarriages... just agreeing that in their world, all good things are "God's will" (or perhaps that extends to bad things that happen to OTHER PEOPLE, though I'm guessing they blame SIN in those cases) but when bad things happen to them, they can't accept the fact that sometimes SHITTY THINGS HAPPEN FOR NO OBVIOUS REASON - or sometimes, shitty things (like the cancellation of their precious TV show) happen as a direct result of THEIR OWN FUCKED UP ACTIONS (or non-actions, as the case may be).  They are actually even more delusional than I had previously thought (pre-scandal) - and that's saying a LOT.  Thinking it's perfectly acceptable to ignore their son's multiple molestations, then cover them up, not get anyone any help, and THEN GO ON TV AND NOT ONLY JUSTIFY IT, BUT ACTUALLY CLAIM THEY ARE THE VICTIMS AND SOMEONE IS OUT TO GET THEM - FUCKING WHAT??   Do these morons just not get the concept of consequences, or do they just think it doesn't apply to them?  Never mind, I think we all know the answer.  

 

Aside from Josh, I have a lot of sympathy for all those kids, even arrogant Jessa and the rest of the self righteous "adult" children.  You can't easily recover from being the offspring of Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar.  I don't know that any of them ever will.  So fucking sad.  

[JenCarroll]

I'll be interested to see how the Lost Girls and the junior Howlers turn out.

[Darknight]

Michelle is probably jealous her daughters have hot bodies and hers is ruined. I'm sure Jimbob points out how sex isn't what it's use to be.

[CofCinci]

Who the hell mows the lawn in a bikini, anyway?

I just recently started mowing in a bikini top and shorts. We have a private yard and I wanted to get some sun. Two birds one stone. I would have never thought about it until Michelle discussed how evil it is to mow in a bikini.

[Missy Vixen]

Michelle is probably jealous her daughters have hot bodies and hers is ruined. I'm sure Jimbob points out how sex isn't what it's use to be.

I'm sure he does. After all, his pleasure is most important.

 

I can't stand Michelle Duggar, but I wonder how miserable life with Jim Boob is -- we know he has bad breath. She thought she was imparting valuable information about sex to her daughters with "it doesn't take long". In other words, ol' Jim Boob probably has ED, too. He uses (allegedly) three bottles of hairspray a month, which means his hair is some kind of sticky helmet. He's not charming or funny. His idea of a good time is humiliating others. He's dictatorial, narcissistic, can't stand it when anyone else does anything better than he can or has the temerity to win. Seriously, what woman would choose to live with him?

[Satchels of gold]

Honest question how does Michelle know that bikini mowing caused his divorce? Did he tell her?

[Cherrio]

I'm sure he does. After all, his pleasure is most important.

 

I can't stand Michelle Duggar, but I wonder how miserable life with Jim Boob is -- we know he has bad breath. She thought she was imparting valuable information about sex to her daughters with "it doesn't take long". In other words, ol' Jim Boob probably has ED, too. He uses (allegedly) three bottles of hairspray a month, which means his hair is some kind of sticky helmet. He's not charming or funny. His idea of a good time is humiliating others. He's dictatorial, narcissistic, can't stand it when anyone else does anything better than he can or has the temerity to win. Seriously, what woman would choose to live with him?

A dead one.

[DangerousMinds]

Her daughters' bodies will also be ruined soon, if they continue to take after her.

[Satchels of gold]

How does she know she is the reason? How does that work?

"Michelle I saw you in a bikini mowing the lawn, now I must divorce my wife, move into an efficiency apartment, and only see my kids on the weekends and alternate holidays"

Or is it...

"Those lovely neighbors Mary and Tom are divorcing, what a shock. I wonder what went wrong?, I hope he didn't see you mowing the lawn in a bikini. everyone knows bikini+yard work =divorce".

It's funny to me that with all the real life character defects/poor judgement they have shown over the years, this is what they focus on.

[Defrauder]

How does she know she is the reason? How does that work?

"Michelle I saw you in a bikini mowing the lawn, now I must divorce my wife, move into an efficiency apartment, and only see my kids on the weekends and alternate holidays"

Or is it...

"Those lovely neighbors Mary and Tom are divorcing, what a shock. I wonder what went wrong?, I hope he didn't see you mowing the lawn in a bikini. everyone knows bikini+yard work =divorce".

It's funny to me that with all the real life character defects/poor judgement they have shown over the years, this is what they focus on.

This is too funny.  Didn't JimBob at some point say something about Michelle being at her most desirable during pregnancy?  I don't know if I'm remembering it correctly, he's said so many wise things over the years, but there's some quote of his somewhere eluding to that I'm pretty sure.  Now that Michelle is officially retired (I doubt another pregnancy is coming), is she less of a turn on? What does he do now - envy Josh, Ben and the other one?  Maybe that's why he feels the need to act all sexually inappropriate around them.  Poor JimBob can't get that pregnancy turn on anymore from his wife.

[Fuzzysox]

aren't they going on their mission/vacation soon?

[CofCinci]

aren't they going on their mission/vacation soon?

Every day is a vacation for these two.

[Oldernowiser]

This is too funny. Didn't JimBob at some point say something about Michelle being at her most desirable during pregnancy? I don't know if I'm remembering it correctly, he's said so many wise things over the years, but there's some quote of his somewhere eluding to that I'm pretty sure. Now that Michelle is officially retired (I doubt another pregnancy is coming), is she less of a turn on? What does he do now - envy Josh, Ben and the other one? Maybe that's why he feels the need to act all sexually inappropriate around them. Poor JimBob can't get that pregnancy turn on anymore from his wife.

Why is it that I know more about the sexual proclivities and preferences of this oh-so-religious, Christian, right wing, modest couple than I do about, say, those of all of the Kardashians put together?

They are so full of shit.

Edited August 11, 2015 by Oldernowiser

[kokapetl]

This is too funny. Didn't JimBob at some point say something about Michelle being at her most desirable during pregnancy? I don't know if I'm remembering it correctly, he's said so many wise things over the years, but there's some quote of his somewhere eluding to that I'm pretty sure. Now that Michelle is officially retired (I doubt another pregnancy is coming), is she less of a turn on? What does he do now - envy Josh, Ben and the other one? Maybe that's why he feels the need to act all sexually inappropriate around them. Poor JimBob can't get that pregnancy turn on anymore from his wife.

Imagine Michelle's 19 pregnancy belly in its deflated, fallow state. Pregnant Michelle is probably legit more able to stir up desires that JimBob can righteously fulfill. Probably why he did her from behind on the minigolf course. Edited August 11, 2015 by Kokapetl

[Defrauder]

Why is it that I know more about the sexual proclivities and preferences of this oh-so-religious, Christian, right wing, modest couple than I do about, say, those of all of the Kardashians put together?

They are so full of shit.

LOL, ain't it the truth.

[BitterApple]

Her daughters' bodies will also be ruined soon, if they continue to take after her.

I was about to say, Jill's boobs are already hovering at waist level. If she keeps carrying ten pound babies every year she can kiss her figure good-bye.

I actually think Michelle looks pretty good for having had so many pregnancies. Factoring in camera weight, she's at a normal size for a woman her age. Boob and Smuggar seem to be the only ones in that family with no discipline when it comes to food.

[Aja]

There seems to be, in the dark recesses of my mind, a vague memory of being disgusted because all the lowly female Duggars--even the teenaged girls--followed Weight Watchers. (The boys clearly did not.) 

[Julia]

There seems to be, in the dark recesses of my mind, a vague memory of being disgusted because all the lowly female Duggars--even the teenaged girls--followed Weight Watchers. (The boys clearly did not.) 

 

As much as I'd love to be specifically disgusted by this (and I am), "You have to work hard to look good enough for me to order you to have sex with me on demand" is pretty much the subtext of large swathes of the internet.

Edited August 11, 2015 by Julia

[Defrauder]

Yeah well women just have to lay down and wait for something that doesn't take that long to be over, the men need energy to do it.

[Aja]

Yeah well women just have to lay down and wait for something that doesn't take that long to be over, the men need energy to do it.

LOL

[Satchels of gold]

I'm sure many a Duggar girl will think on her wedding night "all that hoopla for this? You've got to be kidding"

[Defrauder]

Going from first kiss to all the way in one day has to be awkward it some ways.  Plus it's not always very comfortable or pain-free the first time for a woman.  Not to mention it's also literally the first time the couple has had a one on one conversation without chaperone's present.  The whole thing has to be a shock to one's system.  Like going from 0 to 80 down the highway in record time.

[Aja]

Going from first kiss to all the way in one day has to be awkward it some ways.  Plus it's not always very comfortable or pain-free the first time for a woman.  Not to mention it's also literally the first time the couple has had a one on one conversation without chaperone's present.  The whole thing has to be a shock to one's system.  Like going from 0 to 80 down the highway in record time.

You know, that whole thing is so far removed from my realm of experience that I never thought too much about putting myself in that position, but you're right. If I'd been alone with a boy for the first time, had my first kiss AND my first sexual encounter within 24 hours, my head would have exploded.