S05.E14: Surprise!

[HumblePi]

I didn't feel sorry for Brandi at all.  She brought this all on herself.  She can't keep practicing the same bad behavior and expect a different outcome.  She should be embarrassed by the fact that the host had to ask her to behave herself. 

I agree that Brandi has brought this upon herself and deserves every bit of humiliation. On the other hand, I felt that Lisa lowered herself by proclaiming Brandi to be a 'bitch' in her stand-up speech. Trying to humiliate Brandi by forcing her to sing was pointless because Brandi has no pride whatsoever so all this did was to show that Lisa is nothing more than a spiteful, vengeful woman. Lisa has always tried to portray herself as having class and above all the petty public backstabbing but she showed that she's the same as all the rest, no better. It wasn't so much as enjoying watching Brandi get paid back for her sins as much as it was watching Lisa Vanderpump sinking into the bed of fleas with the other dogs.

[quinn]

IIRC Monty lives with Kim when he is undergoing chemotherapy. I am guessing that I am recalling this from a previous episode, and if true he probably lives outside the Los Angeles area (or a significant distance from the medical facility) and is crashing at Kim's for treatment and then returns to his home base or other places after he completes and recovers from a round of chemo.

On WWHL Lisa shared that she has not experienced menopause.

[The Mighty Peanut]

How is Kim deflecting? They asked if she's ok and she again admitted to taking a pain pill and was worried about her own self-isolation which has been a triggering behavior for her in the past. People are too desperate to get Kim to say the words "by taking a pain pill that was not prescribed to me, I relapsed." She needs to say it, don't get me wrong, but she needs to say it to herself...and that can't be forced. Jennifer Gimenez has her own issues, number 1 being that she not only does not call Brandi out for her own addiction but in the past has had her write articles for a sober living magazine. I hate that simplistic "if you spot it, you got it!" AA shit. She doesn't even know if Kim is in a 12 Step program. There are other methods of recovery.

Lisa R is taking this way too far. Why can't she call Kim and say "listen, I don't know if you remember but in the limo you repeatedly referred to me as being "a fucking disgusting person" and were generally erratic the whole night. You seemed high. Do you need help?" If she says no, walk away. No need to get validation from the entire cast.

Edited February 18, 2015 by The Mighty Peanut

[zoeysmom]

IIRC Monty lives with Kim when he is undergoing chemotherapy. I am guessing that I am recalling this from a previous episode, and if true he probably lives outside the Los Angeles area (or a significant distance from the medical facility) and is crashing at Kim's for treatment and then returns to his home base or other places after he completes and recovers from a round of chemo.

On WWHL Lisa shared that she has not experienced menopause.

Monty's other base point is Las Vegas/ So he is back and forth between LA and Vegas.

[HumblePi]

Yes, I am not understanding all this talk about Kim "nursing" Monty and how stressful it is for her.  The man is certainly ill, but also capable of leaving her house on his own and managing elsewhere just fine without her for extended periods.  He has a terrible diagnosis, but is not literally on his deathbed and requiring her constant vigilance or anyone else's.

 

She opened her home to him, and that's certainly a nice thing to do (possible ulterior motive aside), but I hardly see that as taking care of him or devoting every day and night to his every need.  Even assuming he has good days and bad days, good moments and bad moments, she certainly doesn't seem to be administering any kind of round-the-clock care, or any care at all.  We've seen her out of her house and attending more social events with the other HWs than ever before!

 

It's an insult to actual caregivers who do more to tend to loved ones than Kim could ever imagine.  And yes, the person who is deserving of compassion right now is Monty, not Kim.

I have read in several reports that Kim had moved into Monty's home rather than he moved into hers. But it doesn't matter because Monty's illness is probably worse than it appears and since Kim is still out doing lunch and socializing with the others for the sake of the show, she's not the sole caretaker for Monty. In December the news was released that Monty's lung cancer had spread to his brain and spine. It's two months later now and 2 months in terms of cancer of the brain and spine can be quite devastating physically. I'm pretty certain that if Monty is being nursed at home that his care is pretty much total care including help with bathing, feeding and walking. Kim said to Lisa R in the limo ride to Eileen's house on poker night "you don't know, what I go through...at night". This made me realize that she's spending the nights with Monty but her days are free to do some filming for the show.

 

This is stage that Hospice Home Care steps in and provides the angels to assist. It's a lot of stress for family to deal with having someone die at home, but Monty might still have enough presence of mind to make his own choices and it seems he would prefer to remain at home to die. My sister took care of her husband who died of brain cancer at their home. It was horrible for both of them but more for her because he was in and out of consciousness most of time receiving heavy doses of morphine intravenously through a pump. He was kept comfortable but her stress was unimaginable. I doubt very much that Kim has this profound responsibility on her hands alone. I'm sure she has round the clock help for Monty.

Edited February 18, 2015 by HumblePi

[zoeysmom]

How is Kim deflecting? They asked if she's ok and she again admitted to taking a pain pill and was worried about her own self-isolation which has been a triggering behavior for her in the past. People are too desperate to get Kim to say the words "by taking a pain pill that was not prescribed to me, I relapsed." She needs to say it, don't get me wrong, but she needs to say it to herself...and that can't be forced.

Lisa R is taking this way too far. Why can't she call Kim and say "listen, I don't know if you remember but in the limo you repeatedly referred to me as being "a fucking disgusting person" and were generally erratic the whole night. You seemed high. Do you need help?" If she says no, walk away. No need to get validation from the entire cast.

I am waiting for Kim to say, "I put myself before the rest of you and I am sorry I messed up the party, I was rude and there is no excuse."  They don't need to hear about Monty or her daughter's wedding-just how her relapse affected the others' evening.  Apologizing for the ways she treats Kyle is optional but right about now Kim comes off as being less than gracious towards her sister.

 

I know it is too much to expect from Kim, but somebody who constantly insults, belittles, intimidates, lies about or offends others-isn't "owning it" when she tells Kim the story and says she is sorry for her behavior.  You get to own something once in a blue moon-you don't get to continue to offend people and then get a pass because you "own it".  Kim also needs to learn the meaning of judgmental from someone other than Brandi.

[sistermagpie]

If I'm understanding that quote from Kim's blog correctly, she's saying she didn't take that pill by choice. It was necessary because of her "100% pain." If that's true, she's kidding herself. It would be different had she been given pain medication in the hospital for a legitimate medical condition.

 

 

I meant it seemed in the quote that she was saying that even if she chose to take the pill she apparently wasn't choosing to abandon her sobriety, so it didn't count.

 

Kim also offered us an explanation of how her friendship with Brandi fills her life and gives her away time from Monty. If I was Kyle I'd stop harping on the family secrets Kim told Brandi and instead talk to Kathy and Kim about getting Kim on program again.

 

 

I may not have been watching closely, but I don't remember any story about family secrets Kim told Brandi that Kyle's worried about. Regarding talking to Kathy about getting Kim on a program again, that seems to be pretty useless. Kim's not in any state to be going into rehab. When she wants to go she'll go, and then probably leave early and get back to being 5 years sober or whatever. They could spend their entire lives stretegizing about getting Kim into a program.

[The Mighty Peanut]

I am waiting for Kim to say, "I put myself before the rest of you and I am sorry I messed up the party, I was rude and there is no excuse." They don't need to hear about Monty or her daughter's wedding-just how her relapse affected the others' evening.

This I can totally get behind. I don't think what Kim did was so much worse than anyone else involved in the long and storied tradition of ruining housewife parties, but ITA that she is focusing on her problems rather than their aftermath.

Edited February 18, 2015 by The Mighty Peanut

[zoeysmom]

I have read in several reports that Kim had moved into Monty's home rather than he moved into hers. But it doesn't matter because Monty's illness is probably worse than it appears and since Kim is still out doing lunch and socializing with the others for the sake of the show, she's not the sole caretaker for Monty. In December the news was released that Monty's lung cancer had spread to his brain and spine. It's two months later now and 2 months in terms of cancer of the brain and spine can be quite devastating physically. I'm pretty certain that if Monty is being nursed at home that his care is pretty much total care including help with bathing, feeding and walking. This is stage that Hospice Home Care steps in and provides the angels to assist. It's a lot of stress for family to deal with having someone die at home, but Monty might still have enough presence of mind to make his own choices and it seems he would prefer to remain at home to die. My sister took care of her husband who died of brain cancer at their home. It was horrible for both of them but more for her because he was in and out of consciousness most of time receiving heavy doses of morphine intravenously through a pump. He was kept comfortable but her stress was unimaginable. I doubt very much that Kim has this profound responsibility on her hands alone. I'm sure she has round the clock help for Monty.

The reports in December were from June or July describing the cancer having spread.  In December Monty had a very hopeful message that he had exceeded the physician estimate of life expectancy and he celebrated NYE in Las Vegas.  Monty dos not have a permanent home on the west coast.  He live in hotels while he is in Las Vegas, where he spends a majority of his time and apparently is now staying with Kim. 

 

Kim was on vacation for a spell earlier this month and tweet photos from the high seas.  The guy in the picture wasn't Monty.  Monty has three adult children and I would presume Brooke would be pitching in taking care of Dad.  If he is in hospice care they would be providing the home care folks and he would not be receiving and chemo or radiation.  I just think Monty's vagabond ways haven't changed all that much.  Kim wanting him under thumb 24/7 may not be what he has in mind.  If his days are as limited as Kim suggests it just seems odd she would be vacationing.  I do think Kim has pulled all her get out work cards she can-she is the only RHOBH that has not made an appearance on WWHL this season.  I don't see her on next week's schedule and that may be a clear indicator her days are numbered.

[twilightzone]

I agree that Brandi has brought this upon herself and deserves every bit of humiliation. On the other hand, I felt that Lisa lowered herself by proclaiming Brandi to be a 'bitch' in her stand-up speech. Trying to humiliate Brandi by forcing her to sing was pointless because Brandi has no pride whatsoever so all this did was to show that Lisa is nothing more than a spiteful, vengeful woman. Lisa has always tried to portray herself as having class and above all the petty public backstabbing but she showed that she's the same as all the rest, no better. It wasn't so much as enjoying watching Brandi get paid back for her sins as much as it was watching Lisa Vanderpump sinking into the bed of fleas with the other dogs.

I disagree.  I think viewers needed to see some kind of redemption.  It was obvious it made Brandi jealous and isolated from the other women.   And I did not feel sorry for her at all.   I love Ken's phone call - and his later comment that he hasn't forgiven her.

I also love how after Brandi put down the actresses of the group at the infamous poker party, Eileen turns it around and invites Lisa R, Kim, Kyle - and Lisa V back to her home for a table read - excluding Brandi, showing they all got along without her.  Again, further isolation.

[Teddybear]

 

Looks like I made the right choice and watched the bitches at Westminster instead........

My doggie and I flipped back and forth between Housewives and Westminster.  He remained sleeping despite barking dogs and squeaky toys during Westminster, but when Brandi sung at the party, he immediately sat up and stared at the TV as if in pain.  It was hilarious. 

 

And Brandi was channelling Cameron Diaz singing karaoke in "My Best Friend's Wedding."  In the movie, cute; Brandi, embarrassing.

 

Kyle did look so much better and younger with the lighter makeup.  These ladies really just pile it on, don't they?  Lisa Rinna, always, with the heavy heavy black eyeliner and brown eyeshadow, at all hours of the day.  Eileen's makeup always looks natural and fresh, and she's definitely giving Camille a run for her money in the style department!  

[copacabana]

I'm missing Camille in all this.  I think she learned after the First Season how not to engage too heavily in these kinds of imbroglios and also how to navigate the Kim and Kyle waters of forever churning craziness.  A light touch, some platitudes to express general concern, and a general air of detachment.  

 

Camille handled the Taylor situation just right, I thought -- and kept herself at a remove while the thing played out towards the end.  Of course, we now no longer have Camille on the show so there is that.

 

The women have gone into lemmings mode with the Kim thing.  LisaR got the ball rolling, with Kyle's tacit approval, I think, and now most of the others seem to be going into semi-faux-amateur intervention mode (but not really), and it looks as though as soon as the rubber meets the road in Amsterdam that tide will turn and the chicks may end up moving onto Whatever, Kim = Not My Problem.  For better or for worse, pack mentality can take over in these situations -- along with production telling you how it's going to go.  

 

In this last episode I saw subtle and encouraging signs of Kyle finally beginning to let go. As was mentioned above, good to see her just flat out say that she has other priorities.  

 

There is just NO way that Kim wrote that blog herself. 

[SFoster21]

How is Kim deflecting? They asked if she's ok and she again admitted to taking a pain pill and was worried about her own self-isolation which has been a triggering behavior for her in the past. People are too desperate to get Kim to say the words "by taking a pain pill that was not prescribed to me, I relapsed." She needs to say it, don't get me wrong, but she needs to say it to herself...and that can't be forced. Jennifer Gimenez has her own issues, number 1 being that she not only does not call Brandi out for her own addiction but in the past has had her write articles for a sober living magazine. I hate that simplistic "if you spot it, you got it!" AA shit. She doesn't even know if Kim is in a 12 Step program. There are other methods of recovery.

Lisa R is taking this way too far. Why can't she call Kim and say "listen, I don't know if you remember but in the limo you repeatedly referred to me as being "a fucking disgusting person" and were generally erratic the whole night. You seemed high. Do you need help?" If she says no, walk away. No need to get validation from the entire cast.

She confronted Kim; Kim deflected. I think her reasoning is that a group confrontation might have better results.

But Kim and Brandi went to the party loaded for bear. They are not "favorite people.". Expect the worst from "the girls" or "these people."

So no good can occur, but Lisar couldn't know that for sure.

[HumblePi]

I watched maybe 10 min total last night (and then real life interfered) so I'll catch it on repeat or on demand but I did watch K & K's ride in the car to Eileen's house. Tense much? That was so uncomfortable for me to watch. Nothing happened, but you could just feel the awkwardness in the air.

In general, this season blows. Like a poster mentioned upthread, I don't watch Intervention for a reason. As a psychologist, one of my speciality areas is addiction. I'm not going to give my 2 cents because, honestly, it's been beaten to death, but I will say that I've seen it in my everyday professional life and I'm not interested in seeing it during my down time. I know I sound insensitive, but I watch stupid shows like this one to unwind. It wasn't great last season with Brandi's trashy racist bullshit and it's just awful this year. I don't even know if I want to bother catching the repeat.

No, what you just said is not insensitive at all. This season has evolved into one main theme, the addiction of Kim Richards. As Brandi was on the beach talking to her friend Jennifer, who is a recovering addict and addiction specialist, my ears stood up because she was giving Brandi the straight-up reality of what recovery involves.

"she relapsing, you don't take someone else's pills"

"if you spot it, you got it"

"she shouldn't be in those circles yet"

"It took five years of my sobriety to finally be out on my own"

"does she go to meetings, does she have a sponsor, does she go to therapy, is she involved in all that stuff"

"do you have the tools to save her or help her?"

Coming from an expert in the field of addiction, I hope Brandi seriously considered all Jennifer had said and really learns by it. We know this is a show built around superficiality but when it becomes merely a vehicle for garnishing ratings numbers or showmanship at the cost of the mental and physical health of one individual then it becomes something vile and reprehensible.

Edited February 18, 2015 by HumblePi

[SwordQueen]

This I can totally get behind. I don't think what Kim did was so much worse than anyone else involved in the long and storied tradition of ruining housewife parties, but ITA that she is focusing on her problems rather than their aftermath.

 

All I am really looking for with Kim (AND Brandi) is a little bit of

 

"My behavior [time period/place] was inappropriate [additional adjectives], I am sorry.  I am dealing with personal issues and instead of handling it in healthy, productive manner, I took it out on you/others.  I also apologize if I ruined anyone else's day/evening or insulted anyone, because that was not my intention.  Thank you for understanding, it's appreciated."

 

Boom.  Done. 

 

 

 

Eta:  I'm just going to edit this some more and ask why can't any of these bitches just freaking apologize like adults, when it comes to anything?!  It's always about "Well, I'll apologize but you have to forgive me and move on"  or "If you apologize to me, I'll apologize to you" or "I'm sorry, but...", or "I'm sorry, if...".      

 

It's not that hard, really, it's not.  Own your shit.  They are infuriating.  lol   I don't blame Eileen or Lisa R. one iota for just going "what the mother fuck did I just sign up for?"   

Edited February 18, 2015 by SwordQueen

[JAYJAY1979]

I kind of like the first half of the season (drama lite, if you will), but the women got together and did a mix of gossip plus talking about their own lives.

 

One of the reasons I liked the table read last night was due to a mix of gossip, plus Kim's quirky story about Bette Davis.  Same with the Burbank film festival last week that had a mix of talking about Brandi/Kim along with other stuff.

 

With Eileen busy with filming Y & R as well as Vincent doing his poker touring, I would have hoped that the two would have talked about that some during their couple dinner.  Balance people!

[mwell345]

 

Is  there really anybody that thinks the Eileen and Lisa R. concern over Kim's addictions is not completely producer driven to give the "newcomers" more camera time? If you think it's all organic than you haven't been a HW fan for long...

 

It certainly is production driven, but I don't understand why the focus is so heavily on Kim.  Her issues have been evident for so many seasons, it's old news for the viewers.

 

The addition of Lisa Rinna, Eileen Davidson, with  Lisa Vanderpump and yes, Yolanda, really could give this show some glamour, and there is so much about the lives of these women that is interesting.  Someone mentioned in an earlier episode how they would have loved to see Yolanda's trip to Italy - I would have liked that too.  I liked the scenes of Eileen on set at the soap opera. 

 

Instead we get Kim? Episode after episode, season after season?  I just don't understand why Bravo is still on this and not focusing on the lives of these other women.

Edited February 18, 2015 by mwell345

[SFoster21]

All I am really looking for with Kim (AND Brandi) is a little bit of

"My behavior [time period/place] was inappropriate [additional adjectives], I am sorry. I am dealing with personal issues and instead of handling it in healthy, productive manner, I took it out on you/others. I also apologize if I ruined anyone else's day/evening or insulted anyone, because that was not my intention. Thank you for understanding, it's appreciated."

Boom. Done.

See, this is reality. This is the way people are.

I dunno, why don't "they" "script" a sincere apology for each of them and teach it to them?

This is anthropology.

[phoenix780]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VjdXNqkRXDM

I watched the first few minutes of that- through when they got her to reveal her name.  That was gross.  Not Kim, but the idea that someone would film it on a cellphone or whatever and sell it to TMZ...I think that's straight fucked up.  

 

I thought the surprise party was very sweet, and Pump continues to strike me as the most beautiful of all of their restaurants. I was a bit worried for a minute, though, that Ken would pull a Simon Van Kempen when Lisa was insisting the limo driver not stop - "You're ruining the fucking surprise!" I have to give Ken props for getting her there in the end.

 

How exactly did that happen, anyway?  I think I missed that part and now I'm really curious what finally motivated her to give up the argument and stop at Pump.

 

Coming from an expert in the field of addiction, I hope Brandi seriously considered all Jennifer had said and really learns by it. We know this is a show built around superficiality but when it becomes merely a vehicle for garnishing ratings numbers or showmanship at the cost of the mental and physical health of one individual then it becomes something vile and reprehensible.

 

Was there any practical advice in all that?  I mean, let's assume Brandi's genuinely worried about Kim and she learns from what Jennifer said.  What now, in terms of her relationship with Kim, who we heard weeping that she needs Brandi as an escape from hard times?  

 

It certainly is production driven, but I don't understand why the focus is so heavily on Kim.  Her issues have been evident for so many seasons, it's old news for the viewers.

 

If it's production-driven, maybe they're attempting to assuage their guilt.  They've employed an addict, covered up her behavior.  If Eileen and Rinna feel a moral obligation after a few weeks of filming, what must some of the production crew feel after a few years...

Edited February 18, 2015 by phoenix780

[Sincerely Yours]

No, pretending all is fine equates to enabling IMO. If Kim doesn't want to get and stay clean so be it but people do not have to put up with it nor do they have to just ignore the very pink high elephant in the room. They don't have to get nasty or angry about to her but I see no problem with saying, "Hey Kim, your high, on something, you need to leave".

Or maybe "Kim you're acting inappropriately, you need to leave". Seems like a perfectly good way to handle a situation as well. No need to continue aggressively confronting each and every episode by referring to addictions unless of course its appealing to some. 

[CaughtOnTape]

Lisa R certainly has Kim's number and Kim knows it.  I love it.  Keep her on this show for more of her insight.  See Brandi?  THIS is what a truth cannon looks like.  

 

I had no sympathy for Brandi at Lisa's party.  None.  She's humiliated these women in public more than once.  Time for her to get a dose of her own medicine.  I did love her lie to Kathy Hilton about how she "accidentally" hit Eileen with a glass of wine.

 

Kyle is like a battered woman when it comes to Kim now.  It's better not to poke the bear otherwise her venom gets pointed at Kyle.  Kim is abusive.  Plain and simple.  She again next week does a drive by shitty comment episode with Kyle that I'm sure she thought no one else would hear.  She perceives some slight from Kyle and decides she's justified in saying whatever she wants to her no matter when she wants to say it.  The woman has NO IDEA how to communicate effectively.  She's always a victim.  She says some nasty shit to her sister and then goes off and cries so everyone else runs to her side to ask her what's wrong.   And Kim is now upset because Lisa R is noticing this pattern, calling attention to it and making others aware of it.  

 

Ugh....so cannot stand this woman.

[Leroux]

All I am really looking for with Kim (AND Brandi) is a little bit of

 

"My behavior [time period/place] was inappropriate [additional adjectives], I am sorry.  I am dealing with personal issues and instead of handling it in healthy, productive manner, I took it out on you/others.  I also apologize if I ruined anyone else's day/evening or insulted anyone, because that was not my intention.  Thank you for understanding, it's appreciated."

 

Boom.  Done. 

 

Never gonna happen.

 

Kim will slur, " I was in 100% pain so I took (was given a pill) for the pain and I don't remember a thing that happened that day, you ladies are a pack of wolves for even insinuating that I have relapsed, hic. Yes, I might have been a little bit off but we all have our days so I don't understand what the big deal is, hic. The only one who doesn't judge me is Brandi and that is why she is my BFF, the rest of you can suck it and mind your business, hic" (all while pointing her finger and shaking her hips while swearing she still is in 100% pain due to her cracked ribs and hernia, and what knows what other malady.

 

Brandi sitting next to her will be also slurring her words, "Kim, stop giving explanations, you are purrrfect and if you say that you have been sober for three years, then that is it, you have.Do not pay no never mind to these biiitches because they are jelaoussss of you, you were a child star and they are all envious of you, especially your sister Kyle who never cares for yooooou. I am the only one who is here for youuuu, nobody else caressss like I do, hold on, where is my xanax?"

 

Yeap, that sound more like it.

[runforcover]

Part of Kim's disease process is she has been indulged by her life coach that she is entitled to absolute privacy and all the while she films a reality show. 

 

Yes.  Absolutely.

 

Social Consequences! Where are they?  If Kim only has to bounce herself off herself, an image of herself, her right to call a time-out, she may, may, stop drinking but she will be intolerable, alone and might as well drink. I never get this move.  

 

Well, as Kim fake-explained it to everyone fake-listening, she is now paying attention to her tendency toward isolation.  Oh and she just noticed that now, YOU GUYS!  So that's, like, progress.  I mean isolation is not a popularized addict cliche you can learn in your first open meeting or a shitty website on addiction - from where Kim prob cut and paste her blog definition of relapse or her bravo-assigned intern did or whatever.

 

she's gross. Yes, I'm mad.  And, no, I probably shouldn't be. I know!

[TexasGal]

Compare that to what Jennifer, a real addiction counselor and specialist said in tonight's episode: "Kim took a pill? She relapsed. " Period. None of this "by choice" bullshit. Doesn't every alcoholuc know that it's one day at a time? That you start your recovery on day one, and then every day sober is significant, but if you take just one drink, you're back to day one? Hell, even I know that, and my only addiction is coffee. But Kim is still sticking to her "three years sober!" narrative.

 

 

If I'm understanding that quote from Kim's blog correctly, she's saying she didn't take that pill by choice. It was necessary because of her "100% pain." If that's true, she's kidding herself. It would be different had she been given pain medication in the hospital for a legitimate medical condition.

That part of her blog was so weird.  First off, is that really how to use the word "preeminently"?  All the housewives and their use of big words - I don't think that word means what you think it means ladies.

 

And then, this "by choice" stuff.  Ummm, unless someone crammed the pill down your throat or snuck into your food or drink, how did you not take it by choice?

[Satchels of gold]

Ok, this says more about me then it does Kim but I really need for her to know, that we know ,she is not sober. I hate when any of the housewives dismiss how savvy the viewers are. I felt the same way with Miami when That one housewife ( sorry her name escapes me ) had her fear of marriage as a story line when she was married the whole time. I hate when they play us for a fool. And thank God Jennifer stepped up and gave some practical wisdom about sobriety , I was beginning to worry about her. Lastly there were no drag out fights because Brandi was sober.

[SwordQueen]

See, this is reality. This is the way people are.

I dunno, why don't "they" "script" a sincere apology for each of them and teach it to them?

This is anthropology.

 

Maybe it would just be easier to run one of those scrolling news tickers every time one of them acts a fool and it can just say something like " [Name of Housewife] apologizes to [Name of Housewife] for [reasons]."  and we can just fill in the blanks like a Bravo Mad Libs.  

[copacabana]

All I am really looking for with Kim (AND Brandi) is a little bit of

 

"My behavior [time period/place] was inappropriate [additional adjectives], I am sorry.  I am dealing with personal issues and instead of handling it in healthy, productive manner, I took it out on you/others.  I also apologize if I ruined anyone else's day/evening or insulted anyone, because that was not my intention.  Thank you for understanding, it's appreciated."

 

Boom.  Done. 

 

You are so right about how this would've been the way to go -- and it doesn't take a whole lot to make that analysis for oneself and spit out those words.  But it does take a certain amount of courage -- not tons of courage, mind you -- and a principal ingredient that both women lack:  character.  That certain quality one finds in decent people.  And by decent I don't mean goody two shoes who never make any mistakes -- Just people with enough self-awareness and self-respect, coupled with basic concern for others, to do the right thing when they've royally messed up.  It definitely helps to mean what you're saying as you mouth the words. Brandi and Kim are both users in every sense of that word and the other women are giving them way too much credit for anything. And allowing them to rule the show.

 

For the person who wants to use again and starts doing so, the word "relapse" totally works too and comes to mean exactly nothing.  You can convince others you had a slip, fell off the wagon, went back out, had a relapse, etc., and what are they going to do?  They can't take it back and neither can you as the wrecking ball. The deed's been done and the fun's been had.  Kim seems to have a pattern of longstanding wherein she makes a decision to go back out, fails to inform others of this decision (LOL), and then proceeds to act as though this was just an unfortunate slip and no one ought dare question her struggle and commitment because .... insert froggy sobbing and hardship of the season story.  It totally works for her.  She now seems to have someone turning themselves inside out to justify her craziness in her Bravo blogs and to come up with new and convoluted definitions of relapse.  Here's the simpler explanation that Kim might have given:  I wanted to get fucked up and I did.  I got sick of being clean, to the extent that I was, and decided to go back out.  Relapse blah blah blah Monty Pain works a whole lot better for her and gives everyone else a chance to keep on "caring" and "helping" and being morally responsible.  It's like trying to hold water in your hands. 

 

First one to say, "Hey, looks like you're opting to start using again and just haven't bothered to make that clear except by your actions" wins.  Catch you much, much later, Kim.  

 

I see that Eileen was quoted as saying she Kim to be an airhead and a bore.  I second that emotion. 

[njbchlover]

Lisa's had quite a bit of facial work done, and I'm still not sure about her butt.  She shows natural sagging of the arms, jawline, etc., yet her butt is high and hard as a rock.  If it was natural, it would have a softer appearance, in my opinion.

 

I think that is because you never see it unless her butt is encased in heavy duty Spanx.... Lisa is like Truvy and Claree from Steel Magnolias - her thighs never go out of the house without Lycra on them....    ;-)

[Baltimore Betty]

Why should Kim quit using. She has yet to suffer any consequences because of it. If nothing changes,nothing changes.

So true, Brandi keeps saying that she is trying to protect Kim but in reality she is enabling her.

[Primetimer]

And whether they do or not, everybody should hate Kyle.

Read the story

[Sincerely Yours]

Kim's blog is up, and it's unreal. It's kind of a relapsed addict in denial primer, it's that bad. Here's one highlight. Kim decides to cite recovery teachings, and writes:

"According to the recovery programs, a relapse is when someone preeminently abandons their recovery plan completely by choice."

Compare that to what Jennifer, a real addiction counselor and specialist said in tonight's episode: "Kim took a pill? She relapsed. " Period. None of this "by choice" bullshit. Doesn't every alcoholuc know that it's one day at a time? That you start your recovery on day one, and then every day sober is significant, but if you take just one drink, you're back to day one? Hell, even I know that, and my only addiction is coffee. But Kim is still sticking to her "three years sober!" narrative.

Everyone handles their addictions differently. There is no exact science actually and I think people get caught up in thinking that there is only one right way to do things.  I get it and what Jennifer said is completely legit but at the same time attacking the way Kim is handling it doesn't help anyone. Yes she's on a show but addiction isn't like being gay where apparently if you're a celebrity at some point your expected to announce it to the world. Yes admitting you have a problem is the first step but I don't recall that you have to do it with everybody who decides to bring it to your attention and then have an intimate discussion about getting help two seconds in. Alcoholics ANONYMOUS is the name of one of the most used substance abuse programs. Yes she isn't anonymous but the concept around being anonymous is very relevant which means that SOME semblance of privacy is to be respected. I'm rooting for her no matter what she chooses to tell the public. If believing that taking that pill doesn't count and she gets back on track then I ain't mad at her. Her claiming to still be 3 years sober after that is neither here nor there because I for one am not keeping score. It's not a game she's cheating on and I could care less about the semantics. If she can dust herself and keep it moving then go ahead girl I don't need to know about her "milestone" years. 

[SwordQueen]

You're right, Copa.  It does take courage to apologize and admit being flawed, and none of these women, save for Lisa R. and Eileen so far, have enough of it.  I just become so frustrated and exhausted with the acrobatics these women perform in order to avoid taking responsibility for themselves.  It takes more effort to concoct excuses and point fingers than it does to say "I was wrong, I'm sorry."   

 

Just like so many here don't want Bravo to turn into A&E with their 'Intervention', I'd hate to see Bravo becoming TLC with its "Toddlers & Tiaras" romper room show.

 

I'm finding this talk about "relapsing' interesting.  It does seem like the relapse itself could become the excuse to continue to use, if an addict uses it as a shield to deflect responsibility.  "Oops, I just relapsed.  But it didn't really count, and I'm struggling so don't get my case."  and then however much after that "Oops, had another relapse.", and so on.

[zoeysmom]

Hot damn, sometimes even this here blind acorn finds a nut.

 

This is from way back when she was on Hello Larry and claiming to have a photographic memory.  It's an insanely old actual newspaper clipping.  I love stumbling on really old crap like this!

 

http://news.google.com/newspapers?nid=932&dat=19791123&id=A7RPAAAAIBAJ&sjid=9VIDAAAAIBAJ&pg=3482,5659801

 

 

That's from an article about Kim dated 11/23/1979.

 

I think maybe it was discussed in the HH book as well.

 

Anyway, stumbling across that old article was like a huge blast from the past!  

Good find. . . but I don't believe it.  It seems like a PR move.

[copacabana]

I can't speak for anyone else obviously, but a relapse occurring within a period of real sobriety -- committed sobriety, especially if that sobriety has been productive and fun -- is a devastating event for the addict.  Most of us will immediately seek professional care again if we possibly can -- if only out-patient treatment.  And owning up to the relapse is crucial, however long the slip.  It's not a good look on anyone and it hurts like hell. It's humiliating and frightening.  Of course, we see none of this in Kim.  At least not for our eyes and I doubt anywhere.  

 

Sobriety, the very word, can be used as a massive cover because who really wants to go there and question that?  Like asking the fellow when he stopped beating his wife.  Kim knows this and uses it to her advantage.  If it hadn't been Monty, it would've been something else. Nothing is ever her fault because nothing is ever her responsibility.  And if it were, there's nothing she can do about it, or so she'd have us think, because she's suffering from an illness and can't really be blamed for that.  Like I said, a perfect do-loop. All this would work perfectly for her if she didn't get so so royally messed up when she uses that there's simply no other explanation for her behavior.  She's also too proud, vain, and just plain dumb to ever admit that she's probably suffering from some form of brain damage or mental illness at this point. 

Edited February 18, 2015 by copacabana

[b2H]

 

I thought Ken was honest in his invitation to Brandi - that he didn't want to leave anyone out and telling her she needed to be on her best behavior.  I saw nothing wrong with that.  I give him points for inviting her.

 

Then thank the producers for the points, because my guess is, he was told to do so for the storyline and he put the condition on the invitation being extended only if he got to tell her to get her act together and keep out of the way for the evening.  Heck, when LisaV saw Brandi was there, she wondered as well.

 

Another question - why did Ken not ask David, or the car service (if he didn't know what driver was being assigned) that the destination was Pump, rather than the Chateau?  Why initiate the whole surprise with something uncomfortable?  Of course, Lisa forgave this as soon as she realized what happened, but that would've been annoying to me.

[Satchels of gold]

In her blog Kim only says she did not relapse with alcohol. I beleive that to be true. She mentions that they other ladies questioned whether she was taking pills but she never confirms or denies this. I also agree that Kim did not write that blog herself.

[copacabana]

Then thank the producers for the points, because my guess is, he was told to do so for the storyline and he put the condition on the invitation being extended only if he got to tell her to get her act together and keep out of the way for the evening.  Heck, when LisaV saw Brandi was there, she wondered as well.

 

Another question - why did Ken not ask David, or the car service (if he didn't know what driver was being assigned) that the destination was Pump, rather than the Chateau?  Why initiate the whole surprise with something uncomfortable?  Of course, Lisa forgave this as soon as she realized what happened, but that would've been annoying to me.

 

Think it was because Lisa probably wanted to go to the Chateau -- I know I did!  I'm totally Pump-out already.  Chateau would've been an evening away from her business life,  in every way.  I thought the whole thing was pretty contrived. And you get bonus points and a gold star for remembering the driver's name.  Lisa putting the man in that position with her commands not to stop started acting like a real dummie and just kept it up for the rest of the evening too.  I was like, STFU, Pinky, for the duration of her party.  She can be such a smug and entitled wench. 

Edited February 18, 2015 by copacabana

[Sincerely Yours]

Its more likely that I can have some affect on the abused woman versus the addict because the police will arrest the abuser when they observe bruises on the abused woman's body.  The abused woman may not press charges and/or will continue to support the abuser; however, the police will arrest the abuser no matter what the abused woman says.

 

I am not criticizing their compassion.  I appreciate their intent, but what they say only matters to THEM.  It does not matter to Kim because she does not think she has a problem.  It really is a waste of their time.  Alas, nice people will do this and its what should be done, but it won't get anyone anywhere.  Surely they aren't arrogant enough to think that Kim has been walking around for 30 years or so as a functioning drunk and/or drug addict and no one has tried to intervene.

 

I think its literally like having a conversation with a person about the color of grass.  You bring up fact after fact after fact supporting your argument that grass is green, but they just keep saying grass is purple without any justification for their argument.

 

Yeah, not interested in any conversation that goes nowhere.  Been there way too many times, but good on Eileen and the Lisas.

 

 Exactly! And I get it's frustrating but honestly I can't get behind the intensity surrounding it. Yes it's a serious issue. Yes Poker night was no Bueno. But Jeez Louise, speak on it, state your peace and leave it at that. The need to start crucifying Kim because she's not following the "recovering addict" script to the T is what's disturbing me. And if you notice (and I think Lisa R is funny as hell and a great addition) Lisa is a bit inappropriate in her talking heads sometimes when addressing Kim and the addiction storyline. I mean hey it's cool to try and be lighthearted about something to lighten up the topic but get a hint of insensitivity coming from her sometimes when she make her little quips and facial expressions. For the most part she discusses it in a serious manner but then she throws me off by being a bit jokety mean spirited. I never think its okay to throw shade when it comes to addiction but its definitely understandable when it's be dealt with over and over again sure. But Lisa just got there and already she feels justified in throwing out little quips about Kims sobriety/non sobriety. Not cool. I really, really love the addition of Lisa R except for this and I hope she reels it in cause I'm still liking her in spite of this but if she keeps it up or it intensifies then it'll start to seriously bug. I also love how level headed she is with it all and I hope she's just as level headed when it becomes obvious that it's time to stop because as stated in the quote above. How many times are you going to keep bringing up the grass is green?

 

Also have to agree with the part about these women thinking that Kim hasn't stumbled around for 30 years and Kim hasn't heard this before. Kyle admitted that the family wouldn't speak on it but that doesn't mean that other people in Kim's' life have never spoken up about it. I think that's the other thing that bugs about these women. They seem to think like they are the first ones to "really" broach this subject with Kim. I mean really? Seriously? They're kidding right?

[njbchlover]

Someone needs to point out to Kim that she isn't the one deserving of sympathy, Monty is.  It's not like he's bedridden and she's having to spoon feed him, change his diapers and give him sponge baths.  You can tell he's ill but he seems to still be able to take care of himself.  Kim is just needy and self centered and has probably been that way since her child star days.  She was getting all of the attention back then and now she's just another has been addict looking for a fix.  Her biggest fan was her mother and she's dead.

 

 

Yes, I am not understanding all this talk about Kim "nursing" Monty and how stressful it is for her.  The man is certainly ill, but also capable of leaving her house on his own and managing elsewhere just fine without her for extended periods.  He has a terrible diagnosis, but is not literally on his deathbed and requiring her constant vigilance or anyone else's.

 

She opened her home to him, and that's certainly a nice thing to do (possible ulterior motive aside), but I hardly see that as taking care of him or devoting every day and night to his every need.  Even assuming he has good days and bad days, good moments and bad moments, she certainly doesn't seem to be administering any kind of round-the-clock care, or any care at all.  We've seen her out of her house and attending more social events with the other HWs than ever before!

 

It's an insult to actual caregivers who do more to tend to loved ones than Kim could ever imagine.  And yes, the person who is deserving of compassion right now is Monty, not Kim.

 

Yes, yes, yes to all of this!!  I was thinking the exact same things last night. 

 

 

I am fed up with Brandi constantly labeling Kim as being so "fragile" right now, because of everything going on.  I get it and I sympathize with Kim about Monty....but, as you said - he is not bedridden, hooked up to machines in her house, needing to monitored 24/7.  He is seemingly well enough to go out occasionally on his own.  I don't get why, if Kim is so friggin' fragile, that Monty, or others who know Kim better than Brandi would maybe have told Kim that she may not be the best caregiver available for him. 

 

 

I may sound cold, but, I think there is more to that story than we are hearing.  Monty has at least one other ex-wife, and doesn't he have other children other than his daughter with Kim?  Where are they?  And, why does Monty have to move in with Kim?  Where did he live before his diagnosis?  What did he do?  Wasn't there money there to hire a live-in caretaker, and Kim could have spent as much time as she could handle with him at HIS home, rather than having him living full time under her roof? 

 

 

Every day, thousands of people deal with someone in their lives that is going through a terrible or terminal illness.  Some deal with it better than others. Personally, I feel that if Kim is so bloody "fragile", she should not be caring for Monty.  I also feel like Kim is playing the martyr card with this whole situation. 

 

 

Everything that the other ladies said to her during Eileen and Vince's table read was spot on.  They were all basically telling Kim that they are there to help, but unless she reaches out to them, they don't know that she needs help.  Kim, in her addled brain, thinks that everyone should know (telepathically-????) that SHE needs them to call HER when she needs them.  WTF?  She is so selfish, that she thinks that EVERYONE should drop everything, put THEIR lives on hold, and run to her when THEY think SHE may need a friend.  Enough with the "isolation-ism" bullshit....when you are having a hard time, people do not know UNLESS you reach out to them...again, she is playing the martyr card.

I know, from personal experience, that terminal illness is very difficult for the caregivers, because you are so torn over everything - you know you have to (and WANT to) care for the patient, so you tend to not take care of yourself, but I don't really see this as the case with Kim.  I see a woman who is torn because superficially, she wants to care for Monty, but deep inside, she really doesn't want to, so now, she is stuck between a rock and a hard place. 

 

 

Also, I agree with what you said about hiring a home healthcare aide.  There are many, many different services out there available to people and families dealing with terminal illness - exactly for that purpose!!  Ummmm-Hospice Care, anyone??  Even to that point - doesn't Kim have a housekeeper that could be around while Kim goes out?  And, as you said - who is caring for Monty during all the time that Kim is filming?  She has been at more events and filming for the show more than I can remember in past seasons.  So, I don't want to hear bullshit excuses about Brandi being the ONLY one who can get Kim out of the house for an hour or two when she needs it!!! 

 

 

And....who is going to be caring for Monty while Kim is off to Amsterdam with the ladies?? 

 

 

I'm so frustrated over Kim and this whole Monty thing....she is using him as an excuse for everything she does, she is blaming him for her sobriety slip-up (although she doesn't think she slipped....), she is using him as an excuse as to why she doesn't reach out to the other ladies when she's feeling "fragile"...well, gee - she's such a wonderful caregiver, isn't she???

Edited February 18, 2015 by njbchlover

[copacabana]

In her blog Kim only says she did not relapse with alcohol. I beleive that to be true. She mentions that they other ladies questioned whether she was taking pills but she never confirms or denies this. I also agree that Kim did not write that blog herself.

 

Thing is whatever it was -- it's a mood altering substance.  And, boy, was it ever!  If she were at all serious about any part of this story, what she took would be secondary to the fact THAT she took -- and an honest assessment would have her putting the focus on her own internal process and not on Monty care and pain as the primary culprits.  I wouldn't want to get into any of that on TV either if my aim were to take my own recovery seriously.  So we end up back at square one -- WHY is someone who can't seem to stay straight for any significant period of time on TV doing this kind of show?  In my mind, the answer is now pretty clear:  Being on the show is her principal focus in all this.  Being in recovery, isn't.  That's her decision to make and she gets to make it but sooner or later the audience tide is going to really turn and I think that's already happening.  I'm sick to death of her.  I view her as a thoroughly dishonest person.

 

Time in recovery is also very important.  One's health is just better at 5 years than it is at 5 months.  And when you relapse, you begin again from day one.  I realize there may be other models out there too.  I'm just going by the tried and true.  Coming in and out is murder on the system and really, really difficult on anyone close to the addict.  All her big weepy love for her children has started to seem so manipulative and grasping.  I give her kids credit -- I know many who would've walked away from her for good a long time ago. I don't know what really happened to her but she has no core.  

[izabella]

Listen up, Brandi. I had my "flow" regularly and heavily until I was 54 years old. I had all the symptoms and signs of menopause for years before that. It's called peri-menopause, you stupid bitch. You are very close to being in the throws of it yourself. So STFU with your catty ageist comments.

 

Her comments are especially ridiculous since all those menopause mamas are living much better lives, and have been for decades, than she has (except Kim).  And they have more people in their lives who care about them, deeply.   No matter what happens on the show, LisaLisa, Kyle, Eileen and Yo all go home to the lives they created and enjoy, and to the husbands and families who love them, not to mention their other endeavors like the restaurant Brandi was sitting in.  What does Brandi go home to?

 

Brandi, your envy is showing!  And I don't feel a bit sorry for you.

[njbchlover]

I didn't feel sorry for Brandi at all.  She brought this all on herself.  She can't keep practicing the same bad behavior and expect a different outcome.  She should be embarrassed by the fact that the host had to ask her to behave herself. 

 

EXACTLY!!!  Lisa summed it up best, (I think when they were discussing Brandi at Eileen's house)...you can't just continue bad behavior, and then constantly apologize for it or make excuses for it, and expect people to continually welcome you back with open arms, over and over and over again.  Eventually, people are going to realize that they don't need that toxicity and nastiness, and are going to walk away for good.

That is the bevavior of an immature child who has not learned social boundaries.  Sometimes, I think that Brandi is stunted in that.  She will not realize that her actions have consequences - not just to others, but to herself, as well. 

[SwordQueen]

Brandi, your envy is showing!  And I don't feel a bit sorry for you.

 

Is that the brand of tampon she uses?

[Found A Peanut]

Everybody on the show is talking about Kim and it is tiresome, but I think Kim only has herself and Brandi to blame for that. It was Brandi who put the bug in Lisar's ear about an intervention, not Kyle, and pushed a bit when Lisa at first demurred and said it wasn't her place, iirc. Lisa was having lunch with Brandi to talk about *Brandi* and her psychic wounds, not Kim. And Brandi has had two(?) on camera discussions about Kim with her friend Jennifer the ADDICTIONS COUNSELOR. If Lisar is Kyle's mouthpiece - which, while maybe not orchestrated by Kyle, I think is true to a degree - how is Jennifer the ADDICTIONS COUNSELOR not Brandi's? To the extent that Kim and Brandi are both bothered by everyone talking about them, I think that's true only because the sympathy is not flowing in the direction they anticipated.

Sometimes I think that the aftermath of Season 1 with half the Internet and Twitter reviling Kyle for her "betrayal" of Kim was a kind of nirvana for Kim Richards. It was as if her internal narrative of victimhood exploded into the world and was amplified by thousands of voices. Poor, POOR Kim. Vyle Kyle! Production apparently protected her by burying the reams of footage of her bad behavior, and people eagerly took up all of her aged grievances against her sister and gave them new life. This season, Kim has given repeated THs where she hailed back to all the wrongs Kyle has done her, talking about how things "felt familiar". Brandi made the pre-season rounds declaring that people would side with her and Kim over the terrible Kyle, saying Kyle cares nothing for her family, ad nauseam, with Kim remaining friendly with her throughout and not a word said that I ever saw in defense of her sister.

I think Brandi wanted this storyline front and center, maybe even from very early on if not the start of the season, and Kim loves the narrative of her persecution at the hands of her evil little sister so much that she was game for a sequel to Limogate. They are both deliberately invoking it and hoping for a replay with Brandi there this time for a share of the glory. Kim, at least, I would believe is just engaging in the world's biggest, most malicious deflection after getting caught out of her new, wholesome, "I love my life!" persona. (Really Kim? I thought life was just "so hard" that nobody even knows what you go through at night?) It does look to me like they've both been caught flat-footed that the response of the audience mostly ricocheted the other way, but I think it's just Kyle's - and everyone else's, really - dumb luck that Brandi and Kim are the gang that can't shoot straight. It's not for lack of trying.

Edited February 18, 2015 by Found A Peanut

[njbchlover]

Another Kim-Centric episode.  I guess she's going to be the focus for the entire season. What a waste of the Lisas and Eileen.  Can't Bravo give us anything more than them circling around Kim?

 

Lisa seemed way off to me last night - with having Brandi sing - we get it Lisa, Brandi is desperate to get back your friendship, so you're making her grovel.  It's getting old.  And is this what people do at parties?  Sing about BJ's?

 

I thought Ken was honest in his invitation to Brandi - that he didn't want to leave anyone out and telling her she needed to be on her best behavior.  I saw nothing wrong with that.  I give him points for inviting her.

 

And I agree that Eileen and Lisa Rinna need to back off from Kim.  Kyle is Kim's sister, and Kyle knows the history - let it be and let Kyle and Kim's family deal with it.  Eileen and Lisa don't know Kim that well. They've expressed their concern on more than one occasion - this is not their problem to fix. (And really, it's not even Kyle's - Kim's an adult and it's up to her to get the help she needs). 

 

Speaking of Kim, next to Brandi, I find her the least likeable person on the show.  However, when she talks about her career as a child actor, I am immediately interested and entertained.  Loved the Betty Davis story.  She could really be interesting and fun if she was sober. 

 

Kathy Hilton looked like a fish out of water in the limo with Kim and Brandi.

 

Were any of the husbands other than Ken at the party? 

 

I was wondering the same thing....we haven't seen Mauricio in a loong time!! 

[Higgins]

Yep.  Let Kim be Kim and mind your own business.  Just be a good friend to Kyle.

 

I am fascinated by Lisa V's less than perfect figure.  She just does her without any self consciousness.  I appreciate that she did not feel the need to get some work done in order to fit in with the other people around her.

She has the best figure of all of them IMO. She has a tiny waist and curves.

 

I think Eileen was referencing poker night at her house and Kim never did correct Brandi by telling her that Kyle has been there for her. That is why this whole thing has gotten so out of hand, Kim refuses to defend Kyle to Brandi but defends Brandi to Kyle. I think Eileen has the right to question what happened at her house and Lisa R has earned the right to question Kim's sobriety in light of the limo ride from hell with a high as a kite aggressive Kim. Both Brandi and Kim opened themselves to this kind of scrutiny because of their own behavior. 

 

The toast was a joke and Lisa said that.

 

As for Lisa R, I agree with her, why does everyone tip toe around Kim and her addiction problem especially when she gets caught using, ignoring it does not help Kim at all.

Kim did correct her when they were on the driveway.

 

I am waiting for Kim to say, "I put myself before the rest of you and I am sorry I messed up the party, I was rude and there is no excuse."  They don't need to hear about Monty or her daughter's wedding-just how her relapse affected the others' evening.  Apologizing for the ways she treats Kyle is optional but right about now Kim comes off as being less than gracious towards her sister.

 

I know it is too much to expect from Kim, but somebody who constantly insults, belittles, intimidates, lies about or offends others-isn't "owning it" when she tells Kim the story and says she is sorry for her behavior.  You get to own something once in a blue moon-you don't get to continue to offend people and then get a pass because you "own it".  Kim also needs to learn the meaning of judgmental from someone other than Brandi.

She is defensive and I'm pretty sure there is great anxiety when confronted with her failures. She has a lot of problems and I think that that kind of confrontation of admitting her odd behavior is the right thing to do, it might be too much for her to handle. It is very difficult and probably shameful so she isn't equipped emotionally to deal with it. She is broken, it happens. I'm surprised at the lack of compassion for the mentally unstable and the stigma and lack of understanding from the general public about mental health issues. They are devastating to those who suffer from them. Relationships are so complicated and the avoidance of the shame they feel is a natural reaction. I am a mental health professional and all I can say is, you can't expect the kind of behavior that healthy person might show.

 

I really think Lisa V has been the voice of reason so far until that shameful toast. How rude was that?

Edited February 18, 2015 by Higgins

[Umbelina]

And whether they do or not, everybody should hate Kyle.

http://previously.tv/the-real-housewives-of-beverly-hills/everybody-loves-talking-about-kim/"> Read the story

To go old school, back from the time Kim and Kyle were young?  WORD.

 

I don't think a recovering addict should necessarily take on the stress of having a dying cancer patient in their home either.

 

It's not about who does all of the feeding, or bathing, or any of the other many "jobs" a dying person may need either, and it doesn't matter if Hospice helps you out, or you have nurses.  God bless them for all they do, but it's the one who lives there and doesn't go home who deals with the day to day, the talks about death, or realizing someone they love will no longer be around, and is wasting away.  The emotional impact is devastating, and very draining, and scary, and brings your own mortality into sharp focus.

 

When they were filming, Monty was not in remission, he was told he had about two months to live.  (Something close to that from his instagram posts.)  It's hard.  Also, it's not as if a cancer patient has a ton of offers from people to take them into their home to die.  Most people avoid that, and don't, or can't deal with that kind of situation.  Even if they can, is it a place where the person feels comfortable, and loved, and accepted?  If you are dying and you have a bunch of people offering to let you die at their place, and you would feel comfortable accepting any of those offers?  You are a very lucky person. 

 

I've been working in cancer support for 15 years, stronger people than Kim have crumbled under the weight of this, no matter how much "help" they have.

 

I absolutely do not believe that Kim took him in to get her hands on drugs.  She obviously, and admittedly, did, at least once.

The thing about Kim is, she IS fragile.  She IS an admitted addict.  She DID (probably) take on too much.  I think she may have felt she was stronger than she really was.

 

Brandi seems to know she's not the one to be there for Kim at this stage, but she has taken those phone calls, has invited her over for BBQs with her kids, and now, I think she wants out, but doesn't know how to get there, and doesn't want Kim to have no one.  Maybe that's why she's now so involved with Kathy, a way to get Kim some more support, and possibly someone in Kim's family who will show up for her.

 

Kyle doesn't know if Kim's got a counselor, doesn't know if Kim's in a program, won't take the calls, she is over it.  That's fine, IF she would simply tell the truth to Kim and to the other wives about it.  Instead, it's ALL about Kyle, how hard this has been for her, and pretending she still is there for Kim.  I don't think she has been for a while now, and again, THAT is fine, but stop pretending, stop making it all about you.  Your sister is in crises, and if can't, or won't, help her anymore, then back the fuck off, because public humiliation for a Bravo story is simply repulsive to me.

 

ETA

Actually, if Kyle would drop her martyr act and tell Kim something like:

"I love you, and always will.  I just can't deal with this anymore.  I want you to get help, and here are some numbers of good programs, or this great therapist I found would be a good fit for you I think.  Until then though?  We need to take a break.  I need off of this merry go round for my own well being.  I wish you the best." 

It might be the best thing for Kim ever.

 

Yolanda was the only one to say and do the right thing.  Standing ovation for that.

Edited February 18, 2015 by Umbelina

[njbchlover]

So Brandi is doing a cleanse with Yolanda and can't drink alcohol for 21 days. Now, she may not be shaking and going through serious DTs, but the first thing she said to Yo was that she misses it and finds life "boring". To me, that indicates SOME sort of a problem with alcohol. She may not be Kim level bad, but she has a concerning relationship with alcohol, that's for sure. 

 

And I didn't think it was out of line at all for Ken to ask Brandi to behave at Lisa's party. It's not like she has the greatest track record. So far this season she has flirted with men in front of their wives, made inappropriate sexual remarks at dinner parties, thrown a glass of wine in a co-workers face, tossed pizza on another co-worker's floor (while getting involved in an issue between sisters), and probably dropped about 50 F-bombs. So yea, maybe more people should address her antics ahead of time, some proactive Brandi managing might not be a bad idea. 

 

I thought the surprise party was very sweet, and Pump continues to strike me as the most beautiful of all of their restaurants. I was a bit worried for a minute, though, that Ken would pull a Simon Van Kempen when Lisa was insisting the limo driver not stop - "You're ruining the fucking surprise!" I have to give Ken props for getting her there in the end. 

 

Kim continues to try and act innocent and play both sides of the fence. I became so infuriated when she was trying to defend Brandi - "I think she really deep down believes some of the stuff she's saying. She just doesn't know the history between me and Kyle". Well then, TELL HER!!!! If you're such close friends, why have you not shared any of this? If Brandi is saying something inaccurate about your sister, who has been there for you much longer than Brandi and will likely continue to do so after Brandi tires of you, why not take 5 minutes and correct her? No, Kim wants Brandi fawning over her....and Kyle fawning over her, and she'll use the other to get what she wants. She is a chronic manipulator. 

 

Ugh, and what was with Brandi and the constant age cracks tonight.  I think bashing someone's age is probably the method of insult that annoys me the most. Because we ALL age. It's not something you can help. Being born 10 years before someone does not make you superior, because you're going to be 50 one day too! Damn. It makes no sense to me. And "menopause mamas"?  Really? I'm fairly certain Kyle is roughly the same age as Brandi and probably still gets "the flow", as she so demurely put it. Gah, she's so annoying. Put her out to pasture already, Bravo. 

 

Great post!!  And, maybe that could be something that Brandi fears, because once she stops getting "the flow", it eliminates a paparazzi opportunity!! 

(Oh, boy....send me to hell now - that wasn't nice)    ;-)

[goofygirl]

UGh. This stoopid Kim Richards and the Poor Little Nursie-Poo storyline is just so worn out!  I thought old Monty was in REMISSION for cryin' out loud? Did I take a pain pill and not remember where I heard that?

Anyhoo, it's just plain boring as hell and I'm tired of it.  Just go to therapy already.  Wonder if she and Brandi will be hitting the ganja cafes in Amsterdam?  Now THIS is why I watch RHOBH.  Travel!

[Sincerely Yours]

I understand that sentiment. I really do. However, IMO, Lisa R. and Eileen are missing a point. Because they're not good friends with Kim and don't even seem so far to refuse to be around Kim if she's using, they have no leverage. Calling her out will do what exactly? It's not telling Kim or Kyle something they don't know. To me, it really is just like a coworker at a desk job. They see maybe a colleague with some sort of problem. Well, if they've found out that the boss and the collegue's friends and family know about it, what would be the point of bringing it up again and again?

Now, I totally understand stepping in if Kim was about to drive under the influence or was possibly needing medical emergency assistance right then. But, to keep bringing it up and then thinking they need a serious sit down? Well, if they wouldn't be going as a backup to Kyle or other people in Kim's life who can give a consequence if she doesn't stop or a personal connection of how it hurts to see her that way, then I see no point.

I'm sorry but having a moral desire to help doesn't mean it's the best thing. I think if they're really worried, they should either keep on to Kyle or Bravo production or try to become closer to Kim so that maybe she would care about their thoughts. But, I agree, even then, Kim may say no. It's up to her. And seeing someone with a relapse or addiction is very hard. But, the constant harping on it could make Kim feel more isolated and anxious and alone. I think they've expressed their concerns. Come up with a game plan for if she shows up using again or refuse to be around her period if you believe it's enabling or something you can't be involved with.

That's my two cents!

AMEN!!!!!!! Preach it!! I know Brandi is.... well... Brandi but her hesitation has a basis because she has been involved as a friend for a while now (6 months is a good amount of time to get close with someone) and knows enough to know it's a slippery slope. I don't find her support and confusion about kim as enabling I find it as her hands being tied and being afraid of doing the wrong thing that could make things worse. I feel that Brandi is actually being more thoughtful about it than Eileen and Lisa R are being with their juggernaut approach, while admirable, seems heavy handed and a bit out of place considering where their relationship with Kim is right now.