Blood, Sweat & Heels - General Discussion

[Sobriquet]

It looked like Melyssa was trying to grab at Geneva's face and hair. I'm not a fan of Geneva or Melyssa, but I have to say, I really didn't feel bad seeing Melyssa getting wheeled out of the party. No one deserves to be assualted, but she instigated all of it. Arzo didn't belong in their conversation, period, let alone to get up and grab at Geneva.

[BlackMamba]

I agree. Melyssa: don't act all hood rat if you're not ready to engage in hood rat drama. She kept running on with her mouth, and I kept talking to the screen like "ok girl, enough, ENOUGH," and then her ass (and Arzo) careened over the line. Not to say that Geneva was right..but. Don't start none, won't be none.

Yes and since Melyssa comes from the hip hop video hoe world she couldn't have forgotten that fast something woild happen eventually. I tend to like Melyssa but this season she was thirsty for drama!

I still wished they showed the fight! I was waiting since the minute it broke on TMZ and seeing Mel in bandages and a wheelchair

[Mozelle]

Also, I didn't see any promo about a reunion for this show. I can't understand why they even brought it back for a second season since:

 

1. The reunion for the first season was all of them squeezed in the WWHL clubhouse.

2. They kept changing the start time for the episodes.

[Neurochick]

This is the reason I like Demetria.   She was shopping for her wedding shoes, girlfriend had her priorities in order.

 

Seriously, Melyssa and Arzo tried to get Demetria all pissed off when they told her what Geneva said, but Demetria knew that Geneva was just venting, that's why Demetria invited her to the wedding.

 

I wonder, if Bravo wasn't filming the wedding if Geneva and Melyssa would have been there.

[Bossa Nova]

Demetria's fiance, ...now husband, .... has ZERO charm. Sheesh, every scene at the wedding had her smiling and him looking so glum and i dont think it was edting. Even when her father made a toast and spoke to the husband, he rudely kept eating and gave no warm expression or warm eye contact. 

 

I thought the wedding setting and dinner table looked beautiful as did Demetria. Again, she looked so happy while hubby looked like he was at a funeral. What is up with him????!!!

Edited June 15, 2015 by Bossa Nova

[Neurochick]

I just think Demetria's husband doesn't like being on TV.  

 

Demetria's fiance, ...now husband, .... has ZERO charm. Sheesh, every scene at the wedding had her smiling and him looking so glum and i dont think it was edting. Even when her father made a toast and spoke to the husband, he rudely kept eating and gave no warm expression or warm eye contact.

 

 

I saw that too, but I didn't think anything of it because people are different and I know I expect too much when I want people to react to things the way I want them to react.  

[Mozelle]

This is the reason I like Demetria.   She was shopping for her wedding shoes, girlfriend had her priorities in order.

 

Seriously, Melyssa and Arzo tried to get Demetria all pissed off when they told her what Geneva said, but Demetria knew that Geneva was just venting, that's why Demetria invited her to the wedding.

 

I wonder, if Bravo wasn't filming the wedding if Geneva and Melyssa would have been there.

 

I also loved that they dealt with the issue off camera. Demetria wrote a piece in The Root about it (well, using that moment to talk about what to do when your girl and your man have a disagreement with each other about something) and commented that, in spite of the producers wanting one thing, she and Geneva communicated the way that they wanted to resolve the issue.

[politichick]

Does anyone know how Arzo and her boy toy landed an invitation to this wedding? Do we think it was a last-minute thing because Melyssa and Geneva wouldn't be attending? And if that was the case, why not invite Mica instead? Weirdness.

 

I liked Demetria's dress a lot, but not on her and cannot understand why a bride would want a gown that makes her look as wide as a car from behind.

 

Even if Greg doesn't like being on TV he could manage a smile after his new father-in-law toasts him. That was rude. His name should be Gregory O'Dour instead of O'Douley or whatever it was. What kind of a Jamaican name is that anyway?

 

I was, however, impressed and pleasantly surprised when Demetria explained that she and Greg would be living together for the first time AFTER the wedding. I wonder if they'll have kids.

[charmed1]

"the girl who isn't black"

He was just talking about Rachel. (I couldn't help it!)

[luckyroll3]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Chantelle was doing some cloak and dagger stuff. She was standing and talking with Geneva when Geneva sees Melyssa and Arzo come in. Chantelle goes over to greet Melyssa and the subject of whether Geneva is there comes up and Chantelle says she hasn't seen Geneva and doesn't know if she's coming.

Melyssa was asking about Demetria.

I also feel gipped that they showed nothing of the fight. The hell? And where were Melyssa's after fight talking heads??

And boy or boy was yesterday's outfit awful.

[trimthatfat]

I like Greg from the little we've seen of him. He seems like a very chill person. Some people aren't particularly expressive - he seems like that type.

 

Does anyone know how Arzo and her boy toy landed an invitation to this wedding? Do we think it was a last-minute thing because Melyssa and Geneva wouldn't be attending? And if that was the case, why not invite Mica instead? Weirdness.

I feel like Bravo probably told her she needed at least one cast member there and Demetria chose Arzo. Melyssa was injured, Geneva was in hiding, Demetria doesn't like Daisy, and the friendship with Mica is probably too new to merit a wedding invite. Plus, I think Daisy would take it to another level if Mica was invited and she wasn't. Chantelle wasn't invited for obvious reasons. So that leaves Arzo.

 

Demetria tweeted that she's been friends with Melyssa for many years. She knew Melyssa before she knew Geneva. I don't know why that surprises me. I didn't get the impression last season that Melyssa and Demetria were good friends off-camera.

Edited June 15, 2015 by trimthatfat

[pasdetrois]

Poor Daisy. All ready for her fainting couch scene, and Melyssa and Geneva steal the spotlight.

[Empress1]

I like Greg from the little we've seen of him. He seems like a very chill person. Some people aren't particularly expressive - he seems like that type.

 

I feel like Bravo probably told her she needed at least one cast member there and Demetria chose Arzo. Melyssa was injured, Geneva was in hiding, Demetria doesn't like Daisy, and the friendship with Mica is probably too new to merit a wedding invite. Plus, I think Daisy would take it to another level if Mica was invited and she wasn't. Chantelle wasn't invited for obvious reasons. So that leaves Arzo.

 

Demetria tweeted that she's been friends with Melyssa for many years. She knew Melyssa before she knew Geneva. I don't know why that surprises me. I didn't get the impression last season that Melyssa and Demetria were good friends off-camera.

I'd guess that Bravo comped some of the wedding in exchange for airing it (otherwise I wonder if Demetria would agree to have it televised; I wouldn't let them film it unless they were paying for it, but then again I have no interest in being on TV), in which case I think you're right - somebody from the cast would have to be there.

 

I do remember last season, Demetria and Melyssa did something together involving mentoring, or something - I remember because there was a discussion of the word "thot," which neither Demetria nor Melyssa knew. So it seemed to me like they were cool.

 

... I'm still back on Yestirday's [sic] sequined jacket. Fix it, Jesus.

[Sobriquet]

Melyssa was asking about Demetria.

I also feel gipped that they showed nothing of the fight. The hell? And where were Melyssa's after fight talking heads??

And boy or boy was yesterday's outfit awful.

I think Geneva is suing Melyssa, or the other way around. I'm not sure if they didn't show the fight because of that. Bravo has a history of not showing us the juicy stuff, we just get taking heads telling us what went down.

[lunastartron]

I love that Demetria didn't engage in Melyssa's game of telephone and then perpetuate and/or escalate the drama, as would be consistent with the Bravo formula. Friends vent about each other on occasion; no big deal . . . Geneva was absolutely correct that she could and should have walked away, but I am still completely sympathetic to her perspective vis-a-vis the fight. Melyssa was messy as hell and, once you get out of your seat, you should be prepared for the dispute to get physical. Obviously, Geneva was since she laid Melyssa out . . . I was confused about the order in which the various assaults in the brawl transpired - from what I could piece together: Geneva started to wag her finger, Arzo grabbed her wrists, Geneva pushed back . . . and then Melyssa threw the glass/leapt in on Arzo's behalf, prompting Geneva to hit her with the bottle and/or throw the ice bucket? Even though Melyssa was more visibly injured, it seems odd that Geneva was the only participant charged so I have to wonder if Melyssa's beauty and/or lighter skin worked in her favor? It also seemed like Bravo was possibly more sympathetic to Geneva's perspective since Melyssa got no talking heads post-fight.

[HunterHunted]

I think looks and severity of injury had a lot to do with why Geneva was arrested. You have Melyssa the pretty thinner light skinned girl bleeding from her head and Geneva the heavier dark skinned girl with an injury to her chest. I feel like if that fight had been Geneva and Demetria they both would have been arrested. Conversely if it had been Mica and Melyssa, I feel like the police would have at least questioned witnesses to see who started it.

[biakbiak]

I think the thing I took away from this was that when Geneva was talking to the police you could clearly see the price tag from her dress hanging out the back of her dress. Same with Chantalle when she was getting dressed.

[ToukieSmith]

Now, I know I shouldn't be talking shit on a Sunday, but can we talk about Yesterday's sparkly, Michael Jackson in the Billie Jean video, suit? I expected the ground to light up each time Yesterday took a step.

 

It looked so much better on Michael a thousand years ago.

And were the tags still on Geneva's dress, or was that a mic pack?

 

I think that was a tag.  I caught it when the camera was filming her from behind as she was talking with the police.  You cannot fight in dresses you plan to take back.

 

I liked seeing Demetria's wedding.  I read the book, "Is Marriage for White People?" by Ralph Richard Banks, early this year.  Lots of good stuff in that book.  It was nice to see a black couple getting married because that is something you rarely see on TV these days.

 

When security told Mica, Daisy and Chantelle what happened the guard explained who got hit in the head, I thought it was interesting that he said, "the girl who isn't black" was the one who got hurt.  Mica then asked, if she was the biracial girl and was told yes.  I thought that was interesting because Melyssa looks black to me.  

 

I did not understand that entire exchange.  I thought he was referring to Arzo, but she wasn't the person taken way for medical attention.

 

I love weddings.  I love Oscar Knight, a photographer that created a video of the Gray/Williams engagement that was featured on Oprah a few years ago.

 

http://www.knightweddings.com/#a=0&at=0&mi=2&pt=1π=10000&s=6&p=0

 

I just think Demetria's husband doesn't like being on TV.

 

I don't think he is comfortable on camera either.

Edited June 16, 2015 by ToukieSmith

[Iguessnot]

Melyssa was asking about Demetria.

I also feel gipped that they showed nothing of the fight. The hell? And where were Melyssa's after fight talking heads??

And boy or boy was yesterday's outfit awful.

I watched the scene again. Geneva obviously sees Melyssa and Arzo and says you invited "those girls". Chantelle then looks around for them. Next scene Melyssa asks Chantelle about Geneva, and Chantelle lies and says she hasn't seen her and doesn't know if she's coming. 

[SpringTulips]

In my legal world I would see Mylessa as being negligent.  She talked so much about how uncontrollable Geneva is in prior talking heads.

Believing this, she pushes and presses all of Genevas buttons.  Yet Geneva keeps it cool.  She still pushes until I guess she gets the unleashed dragon she was waiting for and should have foreseen...oops upside your head.

 

I am bummed we cant get the full footage. 

Edited June 16, 2015 by SpringTulips

[kitten59]

I've always thought that Greg is lacking in the personality and warmth department. There is no life in his eyes. He also has an underbite which I find soooo unattractive.

[ZaldamoWilder]

I dont feel sorry for Melyssa getting her ass tapped by Geneva. She and Hound Dog Arzo been wanting drama for several episodes now. Melyssa had no business making Geneva and Demetria problems her problems. It was squashed and she started to get funky. Im not here for her tears. And this is coming from someone whos not a big Geneva fan at all!

 

All day.  I guess here is where I issue the standard I don't condone violence disclaimer.  I don't lol, for real, Howsomedamnever, I think I believe more strongly in prudent and cautious behavior.  Yes,  Geneva, by all rights could have and should have walked away.  Not everything deserves a reaction is probably one of the most simply stated astute things I've ever heard a woman on reality tv say.  Now that being said, Melyssa can miss me by a mile with this here Evita Peron shit, ain't nobody here to cry for you Argentina, because the natural truth is, that if you are actually impaired enough to poke a woke beast, now this is evolution ya'll, this shit here on paper ok? if you stick a stick in the face of a mammal who is not bothering you, your ass is begging for injury.  I really don't believe in settling stuff with violence but I truly hate that surprised reaction from the situational provocateur.  Yes, people are and should always remain in control of their faculties but for your part, you must be willing to risk the unpredictability of their reaction to your bullshit or quit playing the game.   The minute Geneva said, we've talked it over, thanks, for the SECOND time, it could've been over but Melyssa is black enough to know that when the next sentence outcha mouth starts with the words your mama, you finna get dragged.   She must like it because this mouth writing checks your ass can't cash thing seems to be familiar to her.   Just goes to show you don't have to *look* like a hoodrat to act like one. 

 

Hee. I see what you did there. Maybe she calls her life coach, Michael Eric Dyson after he writes another Bill Cosby book.

 

::tapsofficemic:: charmed, please report to the principal's office at your earliest convenience.

 

I am going to be shallow here, but I have to say that Geneva looked gorgeous in blue. I know she got the Noxzema jokes last season, but the night of the fight, she looked really pretty.

 

Scoot over.  This royal blue she's working with is her color, that's A, that dress was finally, thankfully a flattering cut on her, that's B and the hair.  I don't know if the weave game got stepped up or she's paying closer attention to the edge control gel or the texture is her exact match, but that length and color?  Whoo, that's your lane Geej, stay right there girl, that was gorgeous.

 

He was just talking about Rachel. (I couldn't help it!)

 

::tapsofficemic:: charmed, the principal has upgraded you from at your earliest convenience to:  immediately, do come along swiftly dear.   LOL!!!! clown that lady if you want to but her hair game was on lock, braid outs were the shit.

 

who said Demetria's dress had too many of your favorite things?   yes. ma'am.  And the thing is, I liked it or should have.  I like the shimmer, I love the champagny color of it, I like lace to a certain point.  Hell I like scoop/boat necks, I like *bling*  I mean I hate calling it bling, but I like shiny things.  See, but...anybody counting?  that's like leventy different design concepts andplusalso a tulle train.  In addition I'm torn between admiration and saltiness for a bride who refuses to wear spanx on her wedding day.  Fist in the air at comfort, but girl bra rolls?  On the wedding day?   Not beautiful.

[red12]

Demetria's wedding was beautiful and I even liked that dress. But, it did not belong on her body. That dress is for someone with a waist/lower body ratio that is more favorable. You could barely see the sequin detail on the belt in the back because it was trapped between her waist and hips. You need at least a 3 - 5 inch gap there in order for the dress to lie correctly.

 

I also agree with everyone who said the cut of the neckline was not the most favorable to her upper body. That, in combination with the shoulder accents accentuated, the shortness of her torso and made her shoulders seem broader. I empathize because I too have been a loser in the game of dressing the body I want vs. the body I have on occasion, but I was so serious about not falling into that trap on my wedding day. I am interested if anyone attempted to talk her out of this dress choice since it would be televised in addition to just the normal wedding pictures and video.

 

Regarding the fight, I too am wanting the full footage. I do believe Melyssa was goaded into bringing the drama this season by producers and bit off more than she could chew. Judging from how belligerent she was and her inability to read cues from her opponent leading up to the brawl, I doubt this is the first time she got tapped after getting too carried away with her mouth though.

 

Head wounds also tend to bleed more than other wounds. The skin there is thin and the blood also takes longer to clot so, even a relatively minor wound can seem more serious if it is on the head. I think the amount of blood sprinkled with some light skin and pretty privilege and having the only witness agree with Melyssa's version of events are why Geneva was the only one arrested.

Edited June 16, 2015 by red12

[ToukieSmith]

The minute Geneva said, we've talked it over, thanks, for the SECOND time, it could've been over but Melyssa is black enough to know that when the next sentence outcha mouth starts with the words your mama, you finna get dragged.   She must like it because this mouth writing checks your ass can't cash thing seems to be familiar to her.   Just goes to show you don't have to *look* like a hoodrat to act like one. 

 

::tapsofficemic:: charmed, the principal has upgraded you from at your earliest convenience to:  immediately, do come along swiftly dear.   LOL!!!! clown that lady if you want to but her hair game was on lock, braid outs were the shit.

 

 

Perhaps, Melyssa's non-black side was in control to the point that she missed all those non-verbal cues that Geneva was throwing her way.  Then again, maybe she can blame it on the alcohol TM Jamie Foxx.

 

I am intrigued by Ms. Dolezal.  Her hair dresser is worth the five hour flight to Washington.  I've never seen an ethnic hairstyle executed with such precision, especially the beehive.  Usually, the hair is too chunky or the beehive is not proportional to the height/stature of the wearer.  I wonder how many hours that took?  I believe she deserves an honorary black card just for sitting in the chair that long. 

 

I cannot wait for the Oprah interview.

[charmed1]

Ms. Dolezal will get no love from me, but I would love to see her on this show. She would invite everybody over for her annual Kwanza Pajama Jam and Daisy would be all, "What's up Bison? Let's be friends." Demetria and Geneva would shoot daggers out of their eyeballs. Melyssa would be like, "Can I hold five dollars til Friday?" And Mica would be like "I have two black parents but y'all don't question this troll?" Andy, if you're reading, can you send her an invitation? Make sure there's postage on it.

Edited June 16, 2015 by charmed1

[ZaldamoWilder]

^^ I can't stand you.

[Lucelu]

I really found the friendship between Mica and Daisy to be heartwarming. They cracked me up when Daisy is visiting and they are doing their NY Jewish Housewife accent. I really like Mica and I feel very badly for her losses- her father, sister, grandmother and now one of her best friends has a life threatening cancer. Plus the bs with her ex Terry. I hope this new guy turns out to be a good one for her. She needs a partner that grounds her a little, make it safer for her to get all Mica Crazy. Last season I felt so bad for her when she was put in that taxicab all alone at the Hamptons. I thought, man, no one will be her friend and make sure she gets home safe and make the girl some tea? Give her a shoulder to cry on?

 

I like Daisy, even though she can be a bit much sometimes. She is an optimist who is starting to get panicked by how ill she feels. Radiation takes so much out of you. It takes literally 10 months after the last radiation treatment to get your energy back.

 

I saw the prayer vigil as a way for Daisy to work out her fear that the treatment would not work.

 

This crazy altercation with Geneva and Melissa. Geneva had all the talking heads after the incident so I don't know the show is trying to make her less sympathetic. I think she should have gone to the wedding. The argument really wasn't about Demetria--there is some personal shit going on between Geneva and Melissa. M. just used Demetria and Geneva mouthing off about it as an excuse. I think M. was just drunk and belligerent.  I don't know why Arzo kept touching her... maybe to try to calm her down?

 

Demetria... I'm glad she got her day. I agree with the consensus about the dress- not attractive on the bride and I am almost convinced that a strapless dress would be almost equally horrendous. I also can't think of a day more deserving of taking out the Spanx then your wedding- the pictures and video are forever. Wasn't this a Fall wedding? Well, she is a woman who (on this show) seems to take herself too seriously and so I guess her husband suits her.  These are not the people you invite to your party, they are the people you invite to a lecture.

[bichonblitz]

Demetria's fiance, ...now husband, .... has ZERO charm. Sheesh, every scene at the wedding had her smiling and him looking so glum and i dont think it was edting. Even when her father made a toast and spoke to the husband, he rudely kept eating and gave no warm expression or warm eye contact. 

 

Yea, he's a real charmer, that one. From Demetria's book launch to the cake tasting to the wedding. No personality what so ever. I never thought Demetria was much fun, either, so maybe they are perfect for each other. 

[Satchels of gold]

I've got to be honest I'm surprised at all the Daisy hate ( hate is too strong a word, can I substitute non love!) I had stage three breast cancer at about her age and it was freakin hell. One of my best friends, who is a internist, got diagnosed a few years later called me and said " when you had cancer I didn't understand why you cried all the time, I haven't stopped crying for two months , I never knew how painful cancer is". Chemo and radiation are small potatoes, it's all the other never ending shit that gets you down. I think Daisey is amazing and I love her friendship with Mica. Everyone on chemo should be assigned their very own Mica.

ETA : are and is are different,

Edited June 17, 2015 by nc socialworker

[Neurochick]

I don't get the Demetria hate either.  She's a black woman not acting like an immature, drunk fool  on reality TV and for that I have to give her a lot of love.  

[Mozelle]

I've got to be honest I'm surprised at all the Daisy hate ( hate is too strong a word, can I substitute non love!) I had stage three breast cancer at about her age and it was freakin hell. One of my best friends, who is a internist, got diagnosed a few years later called me and said " when you had cancer I didn't understand why you cried all the time, I haven't stopped crying for two months , I never knew how painful cancer is". Chemo and radiation is small potatoes, it's all the other never ending shit that gets you down. I think Daisey is amazing and I love her friendship with Mica. Everyone on chemo should be assigned their very own Mica.

 

See, for me, I already side-eyed Daisy during season one. I'm sympathetic to her plight, but I'm also raising an eyebrow to some of her drama. Like I said in a previous post, some of it seemed to be in check when it was her or her friends' events while some of it happened at events not hosted by her friends (Demetria's book event; Chantelle's yacht event). I question that. It came off passive aggressive, which is how I viewed her in season one anyway. 

 

I also question her need to say that she didn't initally tell folks because she didn't want them to treat her differently, only for her to get upset when people didn't coddle her sufficiently to her liking. 

Edited June 17, 2015 by Mozelle

[ZaldamoWilder]

I've got to be honest I'm surprised at all the Daisy hate ( hate is too strong a word, can I substitute non love!) I had stage three breast cancer at about her age and it was freakin hell. One of my best friends, who is a internist, got diagnosed a few years later called me and said " when you had cancer I didn't understand why you cried all the time, I haven't stopped crying for two months , I never knew how painful cancer is". Chemo and radiation is small potatoes, it's all the other never ending shit that gets you down. I think Daisey is amazing and I love her friendship with Mica. Everyone on chemo should be assigned their very own Mica.

 

I'm glad you're in remission :)

 

I'm sure it's easier to assess a person's behavior in a situation if it's a situation you have experience with.  I was here for Daisy starting with when she announced her diagnosis.  And I'm not speaking for anybody else when I say that I don't believe the *non-love* lol has anything to do with it, per se.  As I watch her, I can see how it can plague one's emotions and the one step forward two steps back of it all has her struggling up one minute down the next.  I can see her fighting to maintain her natural sense of optimism.  That isn't what makes me sigh at her sometimes.  It's that she's using her girlfriends' reactions to the Cancer as a litmus for their friendship authenticity when the relationships didn't change.   The friends she was close to before are even closer now, the friends she was cool with before, she's cool with now but it's as though she has a preconceived idea based on her expectations of how they were supposed to have reacted to her diagnosis while asking them not to treat her any differently than before because of it.  Add to that a mindreader component which involves the belief that her true friends simply *know* what it is she'd like or need but she is dissatisfied at their inability to read her mind....ugh, girl, I'm tired even typing this out.    As an example of how weak the treatments make her she says sometimes it's all she can do to cut her own strawberries.   Demetria says, if you need to me to come by and cut your strawberries, I'm here for you to do that.  Later, we find out she believes Demetria's response to be insincere.  Huh?   Then later by the pool during a conversation with Melyssa, I can't remember how it was phrased but she kind of shames Mel into not having attended any chemo appointments with her to handhold...which, FUUUUUCK just say you'd love it if I could come to the hospital with you.  I don't hate Daisy, but it makes my booty itch that her illness is a conduit for passive aggression.  

Moze, jinx, one of us owes the other a coke ;)

[qtpye]

You know, Demetria, love her or hate her is the center of this year's storyline because of her wedding.  Bravo always loves a good wedding and I bet you, if there is a season 3, Demetria's spot is secure.  I wonder if producers sort of told Melyssa and Geneva that there is only room for one of you in "Demetria's best friend" role and that is why the we are having all this stupidity?

 

Melyssa, for all her beauty and video vixen past, actually (before the fight) does not add much to the plot line.  Her introduction of Arzo has been a complete dud and her real estate career does not seem to be going anywhere.  Geneva's is one of many women in New York that live the Sex and the City lifestyle on mommy's dime.

 

I  also bet you both women are heavily dependent on that Bravo paycheck.  Melyssa is the one in worse financial straits as she does not come from financial stability the way Geneva does and her video girl days are behind her.

 

This might be why she is acting a damn fool in the last couple of episodes.

[Lucelu]

When you get very sick, you really do find out who your friends are. Often people will give you lip service but don't show up ("call me if you need anything" instead of saying-- when is your next treatment? do you need a ride? Can I meet you there? I'll bring lunch...).

 

So Daisy telling her what she needed... Melissa can't tell her she offered help and Daisy never called or told her what she needed.

I am a nurse and people respond differently to disease and much of it is socialized and cultural in response and expectation and has a lot to do with the family and community you grew up in. I worked in cancer care and some of the infusions for chemo/radiation- it is a long day for people. They are given lots of premeds to prevent side effects and anaphylaxis. Those can make you really tired. That Daisy kept up her makeup and wigs.. that really impressed me. Mostly my patients would lay in bed and wonder if they had the energy to shower that day.

 

I don't hate Demetria. Sometimes I get annoyed with her arrogance. I bet she is an interesting conversationalist but she has a tendency to be judgemental and when someone tells her something she doesn't want to hear, she becomes very arrogant and tries to shut them down and make them feel like dirt instead of dealing with it or apologizing. She seems like one of those people who is never wrong.  I am a little concerned that she was willing to let her fiance/husband tell her who she could be friends with and have at her wedding. That man bears some watching for control issues.  I do admire her for going after her dream as a writer.

[SpringTulips]

some of it seemed to be in check when it was her or her friends' events while some of it happened at events not hosted by her friends (Demetria's book event; Chantelle's yacht event).

 

Daisy made it clear that Chantelle has been a good friend to her  by showing up and helping out. I would definitely count Chantelle as one of her friends.

I also believe Daisy as she explained that career wise it is important that  people not see her setback or deflated.  I cant imagine she would choose to concoct a drama when she is at the end of treatments, which would lead some to think her status is unpredictable.

 

I enjoyed watching Daisy celebrate the end of treatments with champagne and sushi with Mica and Chantelle

 

I also do not have a problem with Daisy being direct about what she wants or expects from close friends.  Too often things go uncommunicated and people become hurt and resentful because of that.  I would rather my friend express expectations and we can at least have a conversation on what those expectations mean.

 

With regard to Mylessa, it seemed she had offered to be there for Daisy at certain treatments then developed amnesia about the when and the where.

Edited June 18, 2015 by SpringTulips

[Iguessnot]

I'm glad you're in remission :)

 

I'm sure it's easier to assess a person's behavior in a situation if it's a situation you have experience with.  I was here for Daisy starting with when she announced her diagnosis.  And I'm not speaking for anybody else when I say that I don't believe the *non-love* lol has anything to do with it, per se.  As I watch her, I can see how it can plague one's emotions and the one step forward two steps back of it all has her struggling up one minute down the next.  I can see her fighting to maintain her natural sense of optimism.  That isn't what makes me sigh at her sometimes.  It's that she's using her girlfriends' reactions to the Cancer as a litmus for their friendship authenticity when the relationships didn't change.   The friends she was close to before are even closer now, the friends she was cool with before, she's cool with now but it's as though she has a preconceived idea based on her expectations of how they were supposed to have reacted to her diagnosis while asking them not to treat her any differently than before because of it.  Add to that a mindreader component which involves the belief that her true friends simply *know* what it is she'd like or need but she is dissatisfied at their inability to read her mind....ugh, girl, I'm tired even typing this out.    As an example of how weak the treatments make her she says sometimes it's all she can do to cut her own strawberries.   Demetria says, if you need to me to come by and cut your strawberries, I'm here for you to do that.  Later, we find out she believes Demetria's response to be insincere.  Huh?   Then later by the pool during a conversation with Melyssa, I can't remember how it was phrased but she kind of shames Mel into not having attended any chemo appointments with her to handhold...which, FUUUUUCK just say you'd love it if I could come to the hospital with you.  I don't hate Daisy, but it makes my booty itch that her illness is a conduit for passive aggression.  

Moze, jinx, one of us owes the other a coke ;)

I missed the beginning of the first season, so I didn't have much of a read on Daisy, but when she organized that prayer vigil the light bulb went on for me. I'm so glad Demetria missed that event, because that format would have been a disaster for her to negotiate.

[ZaldamoWilder]

When you get very sick, you really do find out who your friends are. Often people will give you lip service but don't show up ("call me if you need anything" instead of saying-- when is your next treatment? do you need a ride? Can I meet you there? I'll bring lunch...).

 

So Daisy telling her what she needed... Melissa can't tell her she offered help and Daisy never called or told her what she needed.

I am a nurse and people respond differently to disease and much of it is socialized and cultural in response and expectation and has a lot to do with the family and community you grew up in. I worked in cancer care and some of the infusions for chemo/radiation- it is a long day for people. They are given lots of premeds to prevent side effects and anaphylaxis. Those can make you really tired. That Daisy kept up her makeup and wigs.. that really impressed me. Mostly my patients would lay in bed and wonder if they had the energy to shower that day.

 

I don't hate Demetria. Sometimes I get annoyed with her arrogance. I bet she is an interesting conversationalist but she has a tendency to be judgemental and when someone tells her something she doesn't want to hear, she becomes very arrogant and tries to shut them down and make them feel like dirt instead of dealing with it or apologizing. She seems like one of those people who is never wrong.  I am a little concerned that she was willing to let her fiance/husband tell her who she could be friends with and have at her wedding. That man bears some watching for control issues.  I do admire her for going after her dream as a writer.

 

The crux of this for me is the bolded.    I don't know if it changed during the season, but Daisy typically did not tell people what she needed - maybe she was being strong and trying to figure out how much of it she could shoulder on her own - maybe she thought it was burdensome but in any event what she did instead was talk about her experiences and expect them to know what she needed.  Then castigated them when they did not rise to meet those unspoken expectations.  Her friends had the how and the what, she is the one to speak up about the when and where. It's all lip service until or unless the person in need says could you or will you. It's precisely because people respond differently that stating plainly what your friends can do for you is so important.   This is not the time to do a thing like using your friends' reaction to a critical diagnosis to measure the value of your friendship because they aren't responsive to nuances and osmosis.  Girl, huh?  You're literally fighting for your life but you have the time to stop and count the number of occasions on which I haven't done your laundry?  Say the words or don't but my problem with Daisy is holding her friends responsible for feelings she's unwilling to express.  What she DID express is hey don't treat me any differently.  And they didn't.  Then she got mad that they didn't. 

 

Historically I haven't been a Demetria fan, but what I can completely relate to is her intolerance to the deflection of personal responsibility.  And while I'm being an asshole lemme also say that I don't believe being sick excuses this as a requirement.  What I've seen is that if somebody has a bone to pick with her and addresses her about it, whether she agrees with or not, she'll listen.  Where she loses patience is if you have a beef that cannot be substantiated because it's baseless or it's bullshit.  The terse bedroom discussion she and Daisy had was a good example.  The shame of it is I think Daisy's feelings were completely valid and that Demetria was extremely dismissive to how Daisy felt, but they couldn't get there because the immaturity with which Daisy handled those feelings shut Demetria down.  If she and I are anything alike Demetria's thing right here would've been:  we shouldn't even be having a conversation like this, you have soooooo many bigger things to deal with and all I'm saying is I'm here for you, but please quit focusing on scorekeeping acts of service and just tell me what I can do.  Shit.

 

With Chantelle all it is is audacity.  Girl had the nerve to ask for an apology she not only wasn't owed, but should've been the one to issue.  Dust.   

 

Actually now that I'm thinking about it, I can't recall a situation in which (behaviorally) I haven't agreed with Demetria's reactions so I may need a minute to mind rewind to something she might need to apologize for.  The thing with Mica in the Hamptons could come close, she was being super extra and over reactionary and yes, very judgmental there.  I can't say I would've run from my girlfriend but, without knowing what circumstances she'd been through, I absolutely would've shaded her for showing up to a day party piss ass drunk.   And, family tragedy nothwithstanding, if she'd had a history of piss ass drunk when and wherever we went, yeah, I wouldn't feed.  That's Mica.  Chantelle showed her booty at Demetria's work event, she's out.  Geneva and Melyssa, she apparently has gotten along with for years.  The interesting thread about her history with Daisy is about their conflicting conversational styles.  Daisy is that girl who'll let you know or guess that something's wrong by the slick barely audible thing she says while showing you her teeth (I'm thinking about drinks at the table at Mica's house when they were talking about Demetria's blog?).   That is just always gonna clash with a somebody who deals with confrontation directly. 

 

I get both sides about Greg and the wedding.  He wasn't that invested in having Geneva come anyway so between that, feeling disrespected and getting to flex/save face as a result of feeling disrespected, I see how he got there.  That having been said, there's no way she could agree with and support how he felt about how he handled the book signing but on the other hand disagree with how he felt he had a right to react to it.   Chile she was just about to leave and cleave, wasn't in a position to say n'air one word.

 

I do agree with you about the arrogance and judgmentality.  Those of us with bitchy resting faces hear it a lot.  Lol. 

Edited June 18, 2015 by ZaldamoWilder

[LoveMyVike]

So many really interesting thoughts and opinions on this board. So many perspectives and maybe that's why I really enjoyed the show this season. Up until the end, I was really enjoying how most of the ladies (barring the new cast members) were so much better about listening and trying to understand where the other person was coming from.

Geneva is definitely not my favorite but I do feel really sad about the outcome of the yacht evening. Melissa was instigating that for at least 2, if not 3 episodes and wouldn't let it go. If there were going to be arrests, both should have been arrested. Or neither of them. But should definitely not have been only Geneva.

I'm really on the fence about the Daisy situation. Definitely has my sympathy for her fight against cancer and not feeling well this season. I cant imagine how awful that must be. But I have a friend (never have been super close, not like a Daisy/Mica friendship) fighting stage 4 cancer and I'm always worried about saying or doing the wrong thing. She tells me that a lot of things other people say (meant as well wishes, "get well soon" or "we're praying for you") make her angry, as she is terminal and an atheist. She is often fatigued and In pain, so it's a fine line between imposing yourself and being around. Not to mention, I work on an airplane, so I'm pretty much always fighting a cold or virus which she can't be exposed to. So I try to check on her via text and phone as much as I can. I can tell that she doesn't think it's enough and that makes me feel extremely guilty. Unfortunately, a lot of her close friends have fallen by the wayside over the last few years because of personality clashes on both sides. I wish she would outright tell me when she wants or needs something, but I get that it's not about me and my feelings at this point. So I saw both perspectives this season.

[Roxy]

Geneva is allegedly suing Melyssa for defamation, meaning injuring her reputation in the community with a false claim, even though she pled guilty. I'm sure she's threatening the production company, as well, so we only heard her side to keep her happy. She's proven she's litigious.

 

I also think she may be the reason this show had no reunion and I bet it won't be renewed. She's making things uncomfortable for the network. Justified or not, that's my guess as to what's happening.

Edited June 21, 2015 by Roxy

[HunterHunted]

Why no reunion? Below Deck and Southern Charm each got one albeit in the clubhouse. Shahs got a two-parter in L.A. where the most interesting stuff was things that weren't supposed to be caught on camera.

[Neurochick]

And they did have a reunion last season.  Maybe the air has not cleared between Geneva and Melyssa.  

 

And then there's this:  http://www.inquisitr.com/2167267/no-blood-sweat-and-heels-reunion-show-despite-melyssa-ford-and-geneva-thomas-finale-fight-arzo-anwar-admits-cast-is-in-the-dark/

Edited June 22, 2015 by Neurochick

[Rina99]

Why no reunion? Below Deck and Southern Charm each got one albeit in the clubhouse. Shahs got a two-parter in L.A. where the most interesting stuff was things that weren't supposed to be caught on camera.

 

Unfortunately, it probably means it isn't coming back.  Ratings weren't that great without RHOA to help it.

[luckyroll3]

Unfortunately, it probably means it isn't coming back.  Ratings weren't that great without RHOA to help it.

They also kept moving the show around to different time slots every damn week, which probably didn't help with ratings either.

[harrietterrell]

The heels are important in fashion. Its suits too the personality, means its depends on the personality. My favorite part is too wear a pencil heels. The heels also suits with cool plus size clothes. I am also a plus size women, but I love to wear heels.

[luckyroll3]

Just saw that Daisy lost her battle with cancer. RIP.

http://www.theroot.com/blogs/the_grapevine/2016/04/blood_sweat_and_heels_star_daisy_lewellyn_loses_battle_to_cancer.html

[Empress1]

Just saw this on People.com. Very sad. RIP, Daisy.

[SpringTulips]

I came here to say RIP as well.  And to share my condolences for her family and friends.

[Rina99]

It's on EW as well.  I always hate to see someone so young come down with something like this.

[drivethroo]

RIP Daisy. 

[Sheenieb]

Just read about her passing. I'll always admire her positive outlook about her diagnoses.