Blood, Sweat & Heels - General Discussion

[Tallulahbaby]

What was Arzo's comment about Chantelle's hair getting wet? I didn't like how she meant it.

[Brooklynista]

Mica's apartment. Ugh.  It truly makes me give serious sideeye to my brownstone.

[luckyroll3]

1. disrespect +

2. disrespect as seen on tv +

3. disrespect as seen on tv + ego +

4. disrespect as seen on tv+ ego on a man +

5. disrespect as seen on tv +ego on a black man +

6. disrespect as seen on tv+ the ego on a black Jamaican man

 

girl? that Demetria is still *allowed* to still speak speak to Geneva?   pshuh.  Please see 1-6.  

I hear ya, but we've seen Geneva get out of pocket, and she so wasn't there with Greg.  Chantelle on the other hand....I'm still chuckling at her calling him "Massa", cause I know that shit pissed him off to no end!  But the fragile ego of the black, Jamaican male is always front and center.

 

What was Arzo's comment about Chantelle's hair getting wet? I didn't like how she meant it.

Yeah, that comment was another out of left field from Arzo.  Especially since no one said anything about hair.  Nice of her to assume that all us black girls are afraid of water.  She really does have some race/ignorance issues to work out.  I liked that Chantelle was the only one willing to take a dare and follow through on it.  And she looked great.

[Mozelle]

But why'd I forget that Arzo was part of the show because they hadn't shown her until, like, the last 20 minutes? She really adds nothing to this. Oh, except for her out of pocket comments. 

[jennylauren123]

Here's the thing- Demetria agreed to film this launch...did she really expect us to listen to her drone on and on

 

(Bolding is mine.) You might not have meant to do it, but you captured Demetria's way of talking perfectly. She sounds positively sedated.

 

Oh, and Arzo's fake lashes, which I think she might have cut in half and then applied only to the outsides of her eyelids, did her no favors. They just contributed to her droopy eyes. I know, because I have them, too.

Edited May 18, 2015 by jennylauren123

[Sheenieb]

 

Melyssa's eyebrows. She got them instagram brows. You know what I'm talking about....

:whispers: I don't.  Nothing's showing up on Urbandictionary, either.  I'ma need an explanation.

[Watermelon]

:whispers: I don't.  Nothing's showing up on Urbandictionary, either.  I'ma need an explanation.

Overly painted to the point where no brow hair is discernable...just a dark brown/black shape.  It's usually made(as seen on instagram) with Brow Pomade by Anastasia

[Sheenieb]

 

Overly painted to the point where no brow hair is discernable...just a dark brown/black shape.  It's usually made(as seen on instagram) with Brow Pomade by Anastasia

Ah, understood.  Thanks for the explanation.  I noticed Demetria's brows looked heavily filled in when she was drinking rum, too.  Melyssa needs to look into MAC's Pro longwear eyebrow gel. That shit right there is magic.  It'll make your brows look thicker, but not cartoonish.

[selhars]

But the fragile ego of the black, Jamaican male is always front and center.

 

Interesting .......

How about it was just utterly disrespectful and had nothing to do with Greg's ego.

 

Nice of her to assume that all us black girls are afraid of water.

 

Not all. But are you saying it's not a safe assumption that many if not most black women don't want their hair wet?

It may be an assumption, but it is a safe one. IMO.

Edited May 18, 2015 by selhars

[ZaldamoWilder]

did anybody else have cake lust when they were at the bakery?  by the by, Demetria's "brown people shouldn't eat white food?"  I know (shit, I hope) she was kidding but that just sounds so nine and a half years old.  Demetria I swear I'm not looking for reasons to dislike you but girl please don't make up stuff, it's ok if you don't have anything to say right in that moment.    "this cake is yummy" for example, is perfectly sufficient, while at a tasting.   Next week Chantelle says something about the size of her waist. 

 

Yo.

Edited May 18, 2015 by ZaldamoWilder

[ZaldamoWilder]

I know what I meant to mindrewind to, but I couldn't remember what show I'd seen it on.   This one.   I didn't catch all of what was being said to Geneva because:   puppy paws on the kitchen counter.   ::slowmotionheadshake::

[Brooklynista]

I hope the group was polled to see if everyone was okay with the damn dog tagging along.  I get so sick of these pet owners thinking their pooch belongs everywhere.  And I don't want to hear that "It's like a baby to me shit either" cause not for nothing your brat is also only cute to you.

[VintageJ]

Arzo can go now! She tries too hard. Her "hell to the no" in her TH was just ... Trying too hard. And her comment about Chauntelle's hair getting wet was unnecessary. Believe me, if Chauntelle had a problem with it, you'd know. BTW, I need to exercise and tone up now! LOL, and damn Greg, uninviting Geneva from the wedding? She's not that good of a friend? I think it had more to do with the fact that she's extra in the drama department and he knows her better than we do, but she did not turn up at the book launch. And while I agree that she could have said something to Chauntelles at the book launch, she is not responsible for another grown woman's behavior. Way to ruin what was supposed to be a fun cake tasting. You could tell what a bad spot that put Demetria in.

On another note, I like Demetria tipsy.

Edited May 18, 2015 by VintageJ

[luckyroll3]

Interesting .......

How about it was just utterly disrespectful and had nothing to do with Greg's ego.

 

 

Not all. But are you saying it's not a safe assumption that many if not most black women don't want their hair wet?

It may be an assumption, but it is a safe one. IMO.

I wasn't arguing that Greg wasn't disrespected, because he was.  But he was disrespected by Chantelle, not Geneva.  I felt that in this one instance, cause lawd knows I can't stand Geneva, that Geneva wasn't actually rude to him; yet, he's taking it out on Geneva cause he can't take it out on Chantelle since she wasn't invited to the wedding anyway.  

 

As for the black women don't wet their hair, I was saying that it was an unwarranted assumption considering no one, including Chantelle, mentioned hair when the dare was announced and accepted.  It's one of those things that people think they know about all black women that is a generalization and annoying.

[bichonblitz]

I hope the group was polled to see if everyone was okay with the damn dog tagging along.  I get so sick of these pet owners thinking their pooch belongs everywhere.  And I don't want to hear that "It's like a baby to me shit either" cause not for nothing your brat is also only cute to you.

Not to make it worse, but there were two dogs. I happen to own a little white brat like that and would never think to bring him along. Home is where he stays, and he's very happy to be in his own surroundings, not around a bunch of screaming drunks. 

Edited May 18, 2015 by bichonblitz

[VintageJ]

Yeah, I keep my dog at home for the most part. Occasionally we take him with us, but then we're babysitting a dog all weekend. Can't go out to eat.

[phoenix780]

I didn't take Arzo's comment about Chantelle's hair as a reference to her race, because I heard it more as "I wonder what's going to happen to her hair when it gets wet," which I figured was her questioning whether it was real or fake.  

 

And ITA about the damn dogs.  They were way too casual about it, too, like it's somehow OK to walk into someone else's place, dump your dog on the bed, then leave it for everyone else to deal with as it explores it's new location.  That said- this house has been used on other reality shows, hasn't it?  I could swear it was on "House of DVF" or one of the other crappy shows I enjoy.

[charmed1]

Other than my own gorgeous fur children, Chantelle just may have the cutest pet I've ever seen. I usually hate clothing on animals, but omg, his little Paddington rain coat! The precious. Me wants it.

Speaking of pets, one thing mine are not allowed to do is walk on my countertops or tables. Arzhole WTF?! And it's not even her house. And she throws the dog around like he's a rag doll. And those eyelashes and heavy liner are making her look like Janice the muppet.

Can Melyssa be any further planted up Demetria's ass? Damn.

Edited May 18, 2015 by charmed1

[Tallulahbaby]

did anybody else have cake lust when they were at the bakery? by the by, Demetria's "brown people shouldn't eat white food?" I know (shit, I hope) she was kidding but that just sounds so nine and a half years old. Demetria I swear I'm not looking for reasons to dislike you but girl please don't make up stuff, it's ok if you don't have anything to say right in that moment. "this cake is yummy" for example, is perfectly sufficient, while at a tasting. Next week Chantelle says something about the size of her waist.

Yo.

Reminded me when Phaedra said all white people eat canned food. Lol

But that cake looked HELLA lip-s macking good.

My hubby wanted to know do I acted all loud and ridiculous on girl trips. I said yes.

He then wanted to know why Demetrius (yes, he called her that) wouldn't change out of her I LOVE Lucy skirt into sonething comfortable.

He was on a roll. Then he wanted to know what Arzo was doing on the show. Yes, that man wanted answers.

But of course he knew who MeLyssa was.

Edited May 18, 2015 by Tallulahbaby

[raiderred1]

did anybody else have cake lust when they were at the bakery?  by the by, Demetria's "brown people shouldn't eat white food?"  I know (shit, I hope) she was kidding but that just sounds so nine and a half years old.  Demetria I swear I'm not looking for reasons to dislike you but girl please don't make up stuff, it's ok if you don't have anything to say right in that moment.    "this cake is yummy" for example, is perfectly sufficient, while at a tasting.   Next week Chantelle says something about the size of her waist. 

 

Yo.

That comment had me bent!  I was giving Demetria a chance but now I think she sucks and I hate her boring personality.

[Mozelle]

I thought Demetria was kidding with that statement. 

[Neurochick]

That statement was a joke, but sometimes with Demetria, you can't tell when she's joking. BTW, my doctor once told me white food, (rice, bread, pasta) isn't good anyway.

Chantelle's accent sounds fake sometimes. Her date was nice, but Chantelle wouldn't know a good guy if one hit her in her ugly face.

I liked that Greg had Demetria's back. Too often black men don't have black women's backs, we're expected to handle everything ourselves.

How common is Geneva? Why should she care that Daisy wasn't drinking?

Edited May 25, 2015 by Neurochick

[Lakewood27]

How common is Geneva? Why should she care that Daisy wasn't drinking?

 

Very. And that's why I can't get onboard with that Goop, with a Side of Carrie Bradshaw sex advice blog. I'm not big on "celebrity" lifestyle blogs anyway, but I've seen nothing from Geneva in two seasons that speaks to any level of sophistication, savvy, or even street smarts.

Edited May 26, 2015 by Lakewood27

[Mozelle]

It's unfortunate what Daisy is going through. However, between the very dramatic crying jag outside of Demetria's event to her working herself into a lather at the orchard because Demetria and Melyssa were having fun at a damn girl's weekend trip and not sitting rapt with attention after Daisy decided to talk to Geneva, I'm remembering why, exactly, Daisy bugged the hell out of me last season. There's, one, the phoniness, and two her ability to martyr herself in the face of those who allow it.

 

She's out here getting all pissed about Demetria having fun at a (supposedly) relaxing getaway when Demetria found about her illness from someone not named Daisy. I'm like Demetria in that I'd be like, "Wait. Who's telling my business?" but Daisy wants to tell select people (well, really a select person because she only told Mica), have that information disseminated, then have everyone basically come with the reaction that Geneva gave.

 

Lastly. Damn, Chantelle. Is it that serious to be asked back for another season? Demetria owes your ass an apology? Chile, please. Oh, and she's jealous of you? Yet you couldn't see fit to call Greg anything but Demetria's boyfriend. You ain't slick. Out here hiring some whack ass matchmaker to find you a date while calling another woman jealous of you. Yet that woman has a fiance (now husband). Oh, OK. Demetria's the jealous one.

Edited June 1, 2015 by Mozelle

[drivethroo]

Ok:

Dinner

Chantelle did have a point that Greg shouldn't have singled her out when all of them were disruptive. Demetria just doesn't like Chantelle and that was her chance to get rid of her from that event.

Demetria also has a point that she should've thrown all of them out.

And Chantelle did have a point that Demetria was so bothered by interruptions at her moment but was getting her laugh on during Daisy's story. But perhaps Demetria felt as though nobody respected her moment, so it was fair game.

Demetria was probably more bothered by Chantelle's waist comment than she let on, which is why she packed up so quickly.

Daisy vs Demetria

Daisy should've taken up her concern with Demetria instead of with everyone else, but Daisy is intimidated by Demetria and knew she would've gotten blown off like Demetria did when they finally did have their talk.

Melyssa

Melyssa is trying to jump up Demetria's ass to get some real estate referrals. Girl I see you!

Geneva / photo shoot

Geneva was the one who was moaning and groaning about Demetria dis inviting her to the wedding to the rest of the pack she you are disinvited to the wedding you are disinvited to all the activities that come along with it. Having said that, Greg shouldn't have been surprised that Geneva wasn't at the photo shoot since he ASKED (rather, told) Demetria to disinvite Geneva from the wedding. Don't act brand new.

[Sheenieb]

 

Greg shouldn't have been surprised that Geneva wasn't at the photo shoot since he ASKED (rather, told) Demetria to disinvite Geneva from the wedding. Don't act brand new.

Agreed.  I was puzzled when he asked Demetria why Geneva wasn't at the shoot. Uh, really? Did he forget his edict about Geneva's presence?

 

Daisy was being extra, but I got where she was coming from in regards to Demetria not even saying "I'm sorry to hear that."  They're not friends, but out of courtesy, I'm ok with an acknowledgment.

 

I'm definitely not feeling the runteldat meeting that's happening next week.  Melyssa needs to fall back and mind her business. These are grown-ass women.  She doesn't need to be Demetria's mouthpiece.

[Lakewood27]

The wedding dress that Demetria chose? Um, no. It was so unflattering. I am short-waisted like Demetria, and I never wear anything that cinches or draws attention to my waist.

Chantelle asking for an apology is absurd, but Demetria saying someone "doesn't know their place" is gross.

I really want to like Demetria, but I just cannot.

I'm definitely not feeling the runteldat meeting that's happening next week. Melyssa needs to fall back and mind her business. These are grown-ass women. She doesn't need to be Demetria's mouthpiece.

Ugh, why is Melyssa being so messy? Edited June 1, 2015 by Lakewood27

[charmed1]

The wedding dress that Demetria chose? Um, no. It was so unflattering.

Terrible. All these people she knows in the industry and no one has told her to try a v-neck yet? The dresses Demetria wears are pretty, but made for someone with a totally different shape. I get it. I have a large bust and the empire waist is not my friend. I accepted that a long time ago. You have to work with the body you have, not the one you wish you had or the one you used to have.

Wow, what a way to make yourself look like a pervy creep, camera person who was filming Melyssa get dressed. And Melyssa, I'm not judging or shaming, but for someone who claims to want to get away from being a sex symbol...try to avoid being filmed in your underwear.

[ticklemepink]

Oh Daisy, come on now. I'm sorry but I have to support Demetria on this one - I truly think that Daisy has it out for her. I don't blame and in fact I RESPECT Demetria for leaving - she is a grown ass woman and has no time for bullshit. It was actually really nice to finally see a woman on reality TV actually say "BYE" to the BS instead of engaging in an all out verbal smackdown just to save face for TV. Chantal needs to take MANY seats. So does Melyssa, given what we see for next week. While Geneva should never be throwing bottles at anyone's head, I am starting to see how the bricks were getting laid to lead her to that point. 

[luckyroll3]

Oh Daisy, come on now. I'm sorry but I have to support Demetria on this one - I truly think that Daisy has it out for her.

I also wasn't feeling Daisy on this at all. As much as I dislike Demetria, she has always shown exactly the type of person she is. Meaning, she's never been one to talk about personal things or to display a lot of emotion. And it does come across as a bit cold. But Daisy's cancer is super personal, Daisy has never said anything to Demetria about it, Daisy and Demetria are just starting to rebuild whatever kind of friendship they had, and Demetria may have felt that they aren't at that friend level yet where she should be fawning (not exactly the right word I'm looking for...)over Daisy or dropping by her house/hospital room to check up on her as those might come across as not genuine. But for Daisy to pitch a fit in front of the other ladies, without talking to Demetria first did make it seem like she was trying to paint Demetria in an unflattering light.

Not really sure where Chantelle is getting that Demetria is jealous of her, but she needs to take several seats. And the way she kept referring to Greg as "your boyfriend" just had some mean girl undertones.

And Geneva with her fake ass. She was talking shit about Demetria and Greg to the girls, and to her friend on the phone, but wants to backtrack when her ass got called out at dinner? Bitch please. Demetria has been steady trying to get Greg to change his mind, and here you are with your "they messing with the wrong one" nonsense. Now all of a sudden, "I didn't say I was disinvited, just that we are working it out". Naw, bitch. That ain't what you said and I can't wait for someone to call her ass out on it. With this stupidness alone, her story has changed several times; yet, we're supposed to believe her version in the cab arrest story? Maybe she needs to make a fact sheet for the wedding saga as well.

[phoenix780]

I thought it was fascinating that Chantelle explained her goal was to defend Geneva about a wedding invite, given that they'd just heard from Daisy about how Demetria didn't say anything to her upon finding out she has cancer.  I would think that's the bigger offense, the thing that might make you conclude that someone's an evil narcissist who needs to be taken down.

 

I totally get where Demetria was coming from in her approach to Daisy.  I had a coworker who had cancer, I found out second- or third-hand.  I figured that it wasn't my business, since they didn't tell me directly.  Besides that, I sort of thought that it might benefit them to just treat them like everything was normal, like maybe that's what they wanted by not telling very many people directly.  Maybe I got it all twisted, but I kind of felt like it was the right thing to not say anything.  So yeah, Demetria not saying anything- I get it.  Although, I didn't like her decision to confront Daisy and then walk out.  I thought that was pretty lame, and she should've saved that conversation for later if she had to get on the road.

[Watermelon]

These women suck at communication, and I get it, because I'm queen of finding the right words 30 minutes too late but geeze.  

 

Demetria should have told Daisy what she said in the confessional, i.e. that since Daisy didn't expressly tell her she didn't want to bring it up.  Also, that her tipsiness may have made her offer insincere, but she really is willing to help if she ever asks.

 

 

But let's be clear, Daisy is super dramatic.  A chick who aint your friend not giving rote insincere apologies or condolences is not heartless.  It's actually pretty damn authentic.

[telemachus2]

Staying up late to do a first time post just because I found Demetria's handling of Daisy so repellent - apparently a minority view.  Let's see, Daisy has been diagnosed with life-threatening STAGE 3 cancer, not a sprained ankle, measles or another relatively minor condition.  Demetria & Daisy have not been too compatible previously, but they are coworkers/tv "friends."  IMO even if feeling somewhat wronged, there comes a time (NOW!) when a decent, mature human being, aware that her associate has a deadly illness that has overwhelmingly debilitating physical & emotional ramifications, sucks it up & apologizes (with fingers secretly crossed, if need be.)  Instead we have Demetria, too damned lazy to shift her fat ass (all that posing was so tiring!) demanding that her cancer-stricken coworker appear front & center to explain herself. Unbelievably selfish, cruel, classless, petty, etc.  (I could be biased, as a 7 year (yay - & very grateful) Stage 1 but Grade III (most aggressive category) breast cancer survivor - tumor was found via mammogram - word to the wise!  People's generous support was so important to me!)

Edited June 1, 2015 by telemachus2

[SpringTulips]

I cant stand  Demetria, and now Melissa, whom I previously liked.

How can Demetria claim reaching out to Daisy is too personal?

First of all, it was revealed, on camera, that they all, minus Geneva, knew about Daisy's cancer.

Second, Demetria told Geneva, on camera, about Daisy;s cancer.  How all of a sudden is this bitch like this is so personal I could not reach out for any aid or support.  Then she bounces when she is asked to answer for shit.  After her photo shoot.

 

Demetria, if you do not want the others involved in your activities,  or have to leave when things are not in your favor.....get your own damn show (good luck with that)

 

Instead we have Demetria, too damned lazy to shift her fat ass (all that posing was so tiring!) demanding that her cancer-stricken coworker appear front & center to explain herself

 

 

Seeing that made Chantelle's notion that Demetria is a narcissist so much more compelling.

 

But let's be clear, Daisy is super dramatic.  A chick who aint your friend not giving rote insincere apologies or condolences is not heartless.  It's actually pretty damn authentic

 

I disagree. I think most humans I know would show more compassion to a stranger in the situation than Demetria has shown to Daisy.

 

I am beginning to love Chantelle's messy, morning cucumber eating ass.  I think she gets a good read of people and treats them accordingly. I am not into body shaming but she did the "don't start none wont be none" when she talked about Demetria's waist.

 

Talk about lack of self awareness, Demetria looked awful in that wedding dress she loved.

 

Not a fan of Greg either.

Edited June 1, 2015 by SpringTulips

[bichonblitz]

I hope Demetria doesn't come back next season. After the wedding, what does she and that sour puss Greg have going on. They are one boring couple. Speaking of boring, that photo shoot. Snore. 

And who the hell does Demetria think she is summoning Geneva and Daisy in to her bedroom, like she's the freaking queen or something. I just can not stand her pompous ass. 

[Mozelle]

Daisy spent an entire day bitching about a woman who isn't her bestie not properly genuflecting before the news of her cancer. When they were at dinner Daisy didn't bring it up. Daisy didn't say, "Demetria, I have to talk you about this thing that bothered me to the point that I was talking about it allllll damn day to the other women." When they got back to the house, Daisy still didn't bring it up. 

 

I applaud Demetria for trying to get some understanding/clarity considering the other clip that they showed from the previous night where it looked like Daisy was explaining some of her hardships, and Demetria said that if she wanted someone to come cut some strawberries, she'd be there, too. But looking at Daisy's conversation with Melyssa, it seems that she wants Demetria to also be like, "Girl, tell me where you're having your treatments so I can literally sit by you and hold your hand." This is what Daisy is expecting from a woman who isn't her friend.

 

Speaking of, I'm still at a loss over how Daisy managed to manufacture a beef between her and Demetria (and now expects an apology over it?). It feels like she's still holding onto the blog post about her brunch from nearly two years ago. Because what I remember from season one, there wasn't much of any kind of discord between Daisy and Demetria. Daisy jumped in because of the BS that went down at that Hamptons over Mica, but that ain't Daisy's beef, so...what am I missing?

[Neurochick]

I think this is about boundaries.  People who have high boundaries are often accused of being cold and harsh.  Demetria was correct IMO in regards to Daisy's cancer. She heard about Daisy's cancer third hand.  I work in a hospital and it's a given that if you hear third hand about someone's medical condition, you don't go up to that person and say, "Say, I hear you have cancer."  No, that's not right.  I wouldn't like it if someone I didn't tell knew my business.

 

Chantelle is a phony, I believe her accent is put on; either she and her brother were not raised in the same house, or Chantelle is trying to sound more high class than she really is.  And she had NO RIGHT to refer to Greg and Demetria's "boyfriend."  That's up there with that Republican whatever he was, calling Michelle Obama the president's "baby mama."  And Demetria's jealous of Chantelle?  Because of what?  I mean Demetria has a husband and Chantelle was still getting set up by fake matchmakers, going on fake dates for TV.  I don't think so Chantelle.

 

I'm sad for Daisy but girlfriend, don't make yourself a martyr.  If Demetria isn't your BFF, why should she come with you to hold your hand?  I think Chantelle came to clean Daisy's apartment because she knew it would make her look good on camera.  

 

The only thing I liked about Chantelle was that she has no issues dating men of other races.  I seriously feel the reason most of these women don't have SO's is because they're waiting for that IBM (Ideal Black Man), but what they don't get is the IBM dates and marries women of other races, IMO black women need to do the same.  

 

On a shallow note, I walked by Mica's building yesterday, she's right across the street from "Make My Cake."

Edited June 1, 2015 by Neurochick

[drivethroo]

Daisy v Demetria:

At the point Daisy broke down, Demetria knew firsthand about Daisy's cancer. I think Daisy's point was Arzo & Chantelle barely know her and she's had problems with Geneva too, but they all at least said "Are you ok?" And she would like that from Demetria as well.

But she also knows Demetria is going to continue to pay her dust ... And that's where the real problem between Daisy & Demetria lies. That's why she didn't confront Demetria, because she knows Demetria was going to blow her off (which she did do). Daisy's problem is she claims she & Demetria were at least cordial until it all of a sudden stopped. She's even asked Demetria why it stopped & Demetria said she (Demetria) knew why it stopped but she won't let Daisy know.

When someone just cuts you off and dismisses you, it can be very upsetting & you clamor for their attention even more (ie Chantelle at the table when Demetria dismissed her to ask Melyssa about the menu). I've cut people straight off, no explanations and it makes them jump up for attention more. I've been cut off, no explanations and I've demanded (and not gotten) answers. Daisy needs to charge Demetria to the game. Why would you want someone who doesn't like you around you during your time of need? Why would you expect someone who doesn't rock with you to all of a sudden fawn over you during your time of need?

I think Demetria doesn't want to be bothered by a silly drama queen, whether she's ill or not. She knows it & Daisy knows it. That's why Daisy wouldn't confront her.

[ToukieSmith]

 

I think Demetria doesn't want to be bothered by a silly drama queen, whether she's ill or not. She knows it & Daisy knows it. That's why Daisy wouldn't confront her.

 

I tend to be like Demetria and people like Daisy set me on edge.  Daisy is full of shit and she has cancer.  Being cordial is not a problem.  Engaging with them in the way they want you to engage with them becomes the issue.  They want you to behave in a way that feels like they want to control how you interact and you end up pulling away because you feel controlled.  Having cancer gives Daisy more control over how people interact with her.

 

If Demetria is haughty and aloof normally, then that is her.  Expecting her to be something she never displayed is asking her to behave differently because you have cancer. 

[Empress1]

Terrible. All these people she knows in the industry and no one has told her to try a v-neck yet? The dresses Demetria wears are pretty, but made for someone with a totally different shape.

Agree. Demetria seems to love crew necks - in fact, I think every dress they've showed her in has one - and they are not a good choice at all for women with large busts. You need to show some skin up top to break up the bust. I'm a D cup and I'm wearing a scoop neck right now. I liked the length of the dress she loved (and if they're having a more casual, intimate wedding, I think a short dress would go well with that; the giant gown she had on first was way too much) but it just was not the right dress for her.

 

I think Chantelle's dig at her weight bothered her more than she let on, as someone said (wouldn't surprise me if she shed a few tears over it in the car, which I don't judge - it was a really mean thing to say) and that was part of why she left. Chantelle IS a mean girl - the constant use of "boyfriend" to refer to Greg when she knows well that they're engaged is meant to slight Demetria.

 

I'm sad for Daisy but girlfriend, don't make yourself a martyr.  If Demetria isn't your BFF, why should she come with you to hold your hand?  I think Chantelle came to clean Daisy's apartment because she knew it would make her look good on camera.  

I'm torn. On one hand, I didn't think that "if you need your strawberries cut, I got you" was genuine at all - when Demetria was acting like it was a real offer, I was surprised. It came across as flippant to me (which I thought was in poor taste - if you're not going to help out, OK, but don't treat it like a joke), and I don't think she'd do anything for Daisy unless expressly asked - and Daisy wouldn't ask because she knows Demetria wouldn't do it. I also thought it was really rude of Demetria to start the conversation with Daisy and then shut her down - I think she literally interrupted her, complete with "stop talking" hand gesture" - when Daisy tried to get into it. That wasn't an exchange, as Daisy said.

 

On the other (and this applies to Melyssa too, which I'll get to in a sec), IMO Daisy really shouldn't be devoting any mental real estate to people who aren't there for her. She has way more important things to worry about - particularly since Demetria isn't and from what I recall, has never been her friend. Melyssa has been/is supposed to be, but if she's disappointing Daisy, Daisy's mental real estate would be better spent elsewhere.

 

Side note: that kitchen? NASTY. I hope someone cleaned that shit up, because that was foul.

[ZaldamoWilder]

I'm sitting here nodding and headshaking at everything ya'll said.  :D

 

To mindrewind for a second, I did realize at the time, in the bakery that Demetria's black people, white food comment was meant to be a joke, but because she doesn't have a laughing joking personality, it didn't land.  If Mica said it, it might've come across as humor.  Maybe.

 

Agree. Demetria seems to love crew necks - in fact, I think every dress they've showed her in has one - and they are not a good choice at all for women with large busts. You need to show some skin up top to break up the bust. I'm a D cup and I'm wearing a scoop neck right now. I liked the length of the dress she loved (and if they're having a more casual, intimate wedding, I think a short dress would go well with that; the giant gown she had on first was way too much) but it just was not the right dress for her.

 

Double deez reporting for duty.  I'm actually surprised at her stylist.  I mean maybe it looked different at her wedding and this is a diversion to throw us off the real dress so she could maintain some privacy and surprise but, especially when you're dealing with a bride who either doesn't know what flatters or isn't into playing twirlygirl like that, this is the time to suggest her most flattering silhouette.  Which, I hope was a waist cinching fit n' flare or a halter neck.  I love Demetria's taste most of the time and her looks overall but agree with charmed in that she's dressing for the woman she either was or wants to be.  Her clothes are flattering and I love the thickarella tribe, but they're cut for a taller woman.  Draws scrutiny for the wrong reasons.   Deez just yearning to be free.   .

 

I think Chantelle's dig at her weight bothered her more than she let on, as someone said (wouldn't surprise me if she shed a few tears over it in the car, which I don't judge - it was a really mean thing to say) and that was part of why she left. Chantelle IS a mean girl - the constant use of "boyfriend" to refer to Greg when she knows well that they're engaged is meant to slight Demetria.

 

Nods. Even though I've never had the impression that Demetria was bothered by her weight, nor should she be, she looked like this comment took her by surprise a little.  She made a fast recovery though.  Chantelle's on some shit about being owed anything, let alone an apology.  Yes everyone was being disruptive but she's the only one who continued her immature nonsense after all of them were asked to knock it off.  Her analogy between her behavior at the book signing and Demetria's clowning with Melissa does have a parallel but I'm struggling to see it as the same thing.  Demetria and Melissa's behavior was childish true, but sitting in a living room talking to your girlfriends with your feet out, drunk n' silly has a different feeling than being so disruptive a work event that the both the speaker and moderator can hear you over audience questions.   

 

I was also fistpumping Demetria for getting Chantelle together about that boyfriend shit.  It's just innocuous enough to be considered innocent but as previously noted, bitch ain't slick.   I laughed at jealous, that's something only insecure heffas say.

 

I'm torn. On one hand, I didn't think that "if you need your strawberries cut, I got you" was genuine at all - when Demetria was acting like it was a real offer, I was surprised. It came across as flippant to me (which I thought was in poor taste - if you're not going to help out, OK, but don't treat it like a joke), and I don't think she'd do anything for Daisy unless expressly asked - and Daisy wouldn't ask because she knows Demetria wouldn't do it. I also thought it was really rude of Demetria to start the conversation with Daisy and then shut her down - I think she literally interrupted her, complete with "stop talking" hand gesture" - when Daisy tried to get into it. That wasn't an exchange, as Daisy said.

 

Side note: that kitchen? NASTY. I hope someone cleaned that shit up, because that was foul.

 

I'm torn too but I believed Demetria was sincere.   I think that's as warm and fuzzy as she's capable of appearing and, it wasn't so much in what she said more than how she said it that made me think yeah that's Demetria's version of girl I'm sorry and I'm here for you if you need anything.   Demetria is a non emotive person with everyone AND it wasn't the first time she was hearing it, it was just the first time she was hearing Daisy tell it.  I'm not gonna say Demetria should've been more anything to Daisy.  I don't think how much somebody carries on and fawns is necessarily an indication of how compassionate they are, so her reaction at all levels looked genuine to me.

Something about Daisy saying you find out who your friends are when you're sick - this is the second time I've heard Daisy say that and because there's been a second time what I actually think this means to her is, as was said above, if you're any kind of friend to me, you'll react properly (in the way I would) to *prove* your friendshipness.  That's the root of nearly every communication problem ever.  I hear/see through my personality's filter, not with what was actually said or done.  Daisy's love language is acts of service, so unless you're doing or gesturing for her, she don't see it.  I will say that I didn't enjoy Demetria's conversation with her.  Maybe it was a little like looking in a mirror because I understood it 100%, but I didn't like how dismissive and impatient she was, considering this was supposed to be a talk.  Daisy was on the verge of explaining her perspective and Demetria was at:  I'm gonna tell you what it looked like from my end, then I'm gonna bounce, whatever feelings you have about that, go back in there to your group therapy and work it out without me.   Unkind.

 

 

Side note: that kitchen? NASTY. I hope someone cleaned that shit up, because that was foul.

 

Girl.  I have not now, nor will I ever understand how a gang of women leave the house looking like that.    Let's say in this day and age, in a modern vacation home there's no dishwasher, let's say that for argument's sake.   Who keeps loading stacks of plates in the sink, not a bit of soaking and thinks to themselves, yeah, somebody will get to it but not me.  Word?   Eww.    In the preview it looks like Mica is making breakfast the next day so they did get around to cleaning up I'd just be embarrassed for there to have been a speech made about it first.

[Mozelle]

So, on the strawberries thing, here's an exchange (clarifying, maybe?) that happened on Twitter last night. 

 

Bravotv ‏@Bravotv  12h12 hours ago
Do you think @abelleinbk was insensitive to @daisylewellyn about her cancer? #BloodSweatHeels

 

QTYME
‏@Q2519
@Bravotv @abelleinbk @daisylewellyn ABSOLUTELY...you'll cut the strawberries ?!?! That's the best she can do...DAMN SHAME

 

Demetria Lucas ‏@abelleinbk  12h12 hours ago
Demetria Lucas retweeted QTYME
Bravo cut where I offered to clean her home. She specifically she said she had issues with her food.

 

 

Zaldamo, you might be onto something by saying that Daisy's love language is probably acts of service.

 

Oh! I knew I meant to mention something else. Geneva. How is she so damn ignorant? Like, for real. That moment at the orchard when she was freaking about anyone eating an apple straight from the tree because they might catch ebola? How does she survive in life? Seriously. 

Edited June 1, 2015 by Mozelle

[politichick]

I'm sorry Daisy has cancer but she got on my nerves in this last episode. Demetria and she have never been and likely never will be real friends, but I thought her strawberries offer was genuine and that if Daisy asked for her help she would happily give it. Like Geneva suggested, Demetria is hard on the outside but has a gooey core and while she might under normal circumstances never seek out Daisy or volunteer to sit with her during treatment, if she's needed she'll be there. Like if Mica, with whom Demetria appears to have mended fences, called her and said, "Girl, I'm supposed to meet Daisy at Mount Sinai but my apartment's flooding and I need a plumber Could you go sit with her for me, please?" Demetria would do it-- or send Greg. :)

 

For these reasons, I don't blame Demetria for cutting off  Daisy because there was nothing to debate and she was about to bring up old history. Melissa is the one she probably should have been whining to. I know she's been under a lot of strain dealing with such a heavy burden, but she's been so gracious up to now. Don't lose it over someone of whom you should not have any expectations.

 

Geneva is so fucking full of shit and I'm so glad that Melissa, messy as it is, lets Demetria know next week all the shit she was talking. She spent half the day complaining and talking all big and bad about Greg and not being welcome at the wedding or invited to the photo shoot and then totally punked out when the English bulldog stuck her nose in it. 

 

Speaking of which, what the hell is Chantelle's problem? She has been a real disappointment and acts like petulant child. Her posh accent is totally put on, though. She make speak that way naturally now, because accents are majorly judged in England, but she probably sounded more East End London growing up, like her brother.

[drivethroo]

 

If Demetria is haughty and aloof normally, then that is her.  Expecting her to be something she never displayed is asking her to behave differently because you have cancer.

 

 

They want you to behave in a way that feels like they want to control how you interact and you end up pulling away because you feel controlled.  Having cancer gives Daisy more control over how people interact with her.

 

But Demetria is doing the same thing Daisy is being accused of doing, controlling how someone interacts with her.  Demetria knows the reason why she doesn't deal with Daisy anymore, and refuses to tell Daisy exactly why she has a problem with her.  At least with Mica & Chantelle she told them exactly why she doesn't rock with them...you're a drunk (Mica) and I don't like you (Chantelle).  Then she summons Daisy in the room (after midnight) to explain herself and when Daisy begins to explain herself, cuts her off with the "it's after midnight, bye."  That's why Daisy never confronted Demetria in the first place.

 

But Daisy isn't innocent either ... I peeped that Carrie Bradshaw shade she tried to throw on Demetria at the dinner.

 

 

particularly since Demetria isn't and from what I recall, has never been her friend. Melyssa has been/is supposed to be, but if she's disappointing Daisy, Daisy's mental real estate would be better spent elsewhere.

 

I actually think Daisy took her frustrations about Melyssa out on Demetria...Melyssa is supposed to be her friend but she's joking and laughing with new BFF Demetria.  Daisy took her frustration about Melyssa out on Demetria, Demetria was already on the run from Chantelle and decided to cut Daisy's foolishness off quick.  Then the next morning Daisy realized she needed to deal with Melyssa.

 

I think if Melyssa had been there for Daisy the way Mica has been, or even called/texted her like the other girls, Daisy would not have been so bothered by Demetria's iciness.

[charmed1]

I like Daisy, and I loathe to defend Demetria, but I do think Daisy was being dramatic about Demetria's lack of outreach. Save your energy for your recovery. Be thankful for the kindness and generosity you've received from the people who actually do matter in your life. Mica has been great to her. If Melyssa and Demetria want to laugh and giggle while you talk about your cancer, eff them. I would've moved to the other side of the room and talked to Geneva one on one.

Back to Melyssa because she has really irritated me this season. Why is she so far up Demetria's ass? It's really weird and it seems so fake. She seemed like she was trying so hard to impress Demetria's mother when she told her she was supposed to meet the other ladies at the apple orchard, but "oh well." And on a superficial note, I've seen better weaves done by the one girl in the dorm who can do hair. There are like three inches of scalp between the part and it's so lumpy where the tracks start. I'm going to guess she wasn't wearing that weave when she got hit in the head with a bottle because that thing looks like it could stop a bullet. (That was mean, I know it, but there was a woman who's weave actually did stop a bullet.)

Did we even hear Geneva's friend on the other line? I'll bet the screen on her phone was black and she was talking to herself.

The girls playing outside on the pogo stick took me back to childhood and how fun life used to be before boobs. I had a pogo ball that I used to wear out.

Edited June 1, 2015 by charmed1

[Mozelle]

Back to Melyssa because she has really irritated me this season. Why is she so far up Demetria's ass? It's really weird and it seems so fake. 

 

My understanding is that they've been friends. Even during the whole "Louds and Prouds" stuff, Melyssa was the one who really dealt with both groups. Even after filming of the season ended and they did the reunion, Demetria and Melyssa mentioned that they were always friendly; didn't have any issues with each other. Before filming of this season, I recall seeing Demetria and Melyssa in pictures on social media.

[luckyroll3]

I also thought it was really rude of Demetria to start the conversation with Daisy and then shut her down - I think she literally interrupted her, complete with "stop talking" hand gesture" - when Daisy tried to get into it. That wasn't an exchange, as Daisy said.

I agree with this.  If Demetria really wanted to work through this, she would have engaged in a more fruitful conversation with Daisy.  It seems like Daisy certainly has some unresolved issues with regards to her and Demetria's past drama, and that's where most of this is stemming from.  Especially if she feels like she still doesn't know/understand why her and Demetria fell out.

 

Did we even hear Geneva's friend on the other line? I'll bet the screen on her phone was black and she was talking to herself.

Geneva is so the type of person to do something like this.  I would not be surprised if it was all for show!

[selhars]

Not being in my mid 30s and fighting cancer. I'l refrain from criticizing Daisy for her emotions or how she expresses them.

So I see nothing wrong with what she said. Could she have gone to Demetria directly? Yes she could have. But she didn't.

[Jade Foxx]

 

Demetria is a non emotive person with everyone AND it wasn't the first time she was hearing it, it was just the first time she was hearing Daisy tell it.  I'm not gonna say Demetria should've been more anything to Daisy.  I don't think how much somebody carries on and fawns is necessarily an indication of how compassionate they are, so her reaction at all levels looked genuine to me.

 

Personally, I think Demetria should stay off tv. If her "personality" is such that she cannot transmit anything close to what is perceived as genuine, human emotion - this medium is not for her.

 

I've never cared for Demetria, because I think she's utterly humorless and constantly dour, but my dislike for her shot off the rails last night. I'd go so far as to say she's a pretty heinous individual in my book.  There's a HUGE difference between fawning over someone (who's battling a life threatening illness), vs. being a basic concerned, compassionate human being. The "if you need your strawberries cut, I got you" was total dismissive shade, IN ADDITION to giggling and being blatantly rude when Daisy was sharing her feelings about the cancer. (that includes those bitches Argo and Mylessa too)

 

And of course she has some producer driven excuse about the rest of her offer to Daisy being cut off. If that was true (and sincere), I think Daisy wouldn't have been up in her feelings about it.

 

Yeah, Demetria and Daisy haven't been besties - but when a young woman you know and work with is dealing with an illness like that, staunch social protocol goes out the window. All Demetria had to do is approach Daisy and say something like "I understand you're going through a rough patch, what can I do/how can I help?" or even embrace Daisy physically with a hug, to show an ounce of support. (Demetria said she failed to do anything, because she didn't want to be "all up in Daisy's business" which is another bullshit excuse, IMO)

 

I cut Daisy a HUGE amount of slack. I understand her feelings, and agree that perhaps she should just cut Demetria loose from any expectations at this point. But I can see how it would sting, when Demetria couldn't seem to locate her basic humanity to do something. (send flowers, a care package, a card, something) I know not everyone is not equally equipped when it comes to empathy, but DAMN. The way she demanded Daisy to come to her and talk about what was going down, then straight up dismissing her was foul beyond measure.

 

I don't even dig Chanty, but I was cheering her on this episode. At least she'll ride for someone out of loyalty and friendship, even when she might be out of bounds.

telemachus2 Thanks for sharing your experience, here's to your health and happiness!

Edited June 1, 2015 by Jade Foxx

[Neurochick]

Yeah, Demetria and Daisy haven't been besties - but when a young woman you know and work with is dealing with an illness like that, staunch social protocol goes out the window. All Demetria had to do is approach Daisy and say something like "I understand you're going through a rough patch, what can I do/how can I help?" or even embrace Daisy physically with a hug, to show an ounce of support. (Demetria said she failed to do anything, because she didn't want to be "all up in Daisy's business" which is another bullshit excuse, IMO)

I cut Daisy a HUGE amount of slack. I understand her feelings, and agree that perhaps she should just cut Demetria loose from any expectations at this point. But I can see how it would sting, when Demetria couldn't seem to locate her basic humanity to do something. (send flowers, a care package, a card, something) I know not everyone is not equally equipped when it comes to empathy, but DAMN. The way she demanded Daisy to come to her and talk about what was going down, then straight up dismissing her was foul beyond measure.

 

 

One thing I learned in life is that sometimes I expect too much from people.  I think what screws up communication between people is when one person expects something from another person, doesn't get it, then gets a resentment.  The other person doesn't understand why person 1 is getting a resentment and on it goes.  The way Demetria dealt with Daisy is the way she dealt with Daisy, it might not be what Daisy wanted from Demetria, but sometimes that happens.  There isn't one right way of dealing with a work friend who has a serious illness.  See, you might give the girl a hug, or say, "what can I do to help?" But Demetria isn't that type of person.  That doesn't make her bad, that's just who she is.  It would be best if Daisy just let her go and didn't except anything from her.  

 

Also in the beginning of this season, Daisy didn't want too many people to know she had cancer because she didn't want to be treated differently.  

 

As for Chantelle, she needs a copy of "Co-Dependent No More."  You don't need to put on your Superwoman cape for a person who doesn't need you to do it.  Geneva is a grown woman and she didn't need Chantelle to fight for her.  If someone did that for me, when I was capable of doing it for myself, I'd be embarrassed, because IMO, when one adult capes for another adult, what you're saying is, "I need to cape for you, because you're weak and are unable to do it yourself."  

Edited June 1, 2015 by Neurochick