S03.E05: Amber's Story

[Armchair Critic]

Premieres Tonight

[BostonBlonde]

10 minutes in & I'm already in WTF mode.

[Brooklynista]

I bothered by her mother's weird smirk as Dr Now is asking who buys Amber the food.

And is she just not wearing shoes? Sorry, I hate dirty feet. Ugh.

Edited February 5, 2015 by Brooklynista

[BostonBlonde]

I know its horrible but if I was 700 lbs., the LAST thing I'd be wearing is a short sleeve shirt & a knee length skirt. 

[BostonBlonde]

I bothered by her mother's weird smirk as Dr Now is asking who buys Amber the food.

And is she just not wearing shoes? Sorry, I hate dirty feet. Ugh.

 

The no shoes thing was another WTF moment for me too.

 

 

OMG she went to the therapist with no shoes too!!!!!!! GAG.

Edited February 5, 2015 by BostonBlonde

[MrsClaus]

What in the world was going on in her life that she was a 150 pound 5 yr old?

Edited February 5, 2015 by MrsClaus

[deedee2]

Amber is very pretty and smart, but her self-esteem is in the toilet. I hope she succeeds.

[Brooklynista]

At what point can we call this child abuse? She's been sitting at her parents table all her life while they put plates of cheesy nachos in front of her at 600 pounds? What the actual fuck?

And does Howdy or Rowdy live in the house with her and the parents? I'm so baffled by the dynamics here, I need a rewatch.

[Armchair Critic]

IMO she is the most intelligent and well spoken of all the people featured on this show. Which makes this even sadder. I have always had a tendency to be heavy and  growing up my mother watched what I ate like a hawk. I kind of resented it as a child but as an adult I am grateful, especially after seeing how big these people were as little kids.

[PityFree]

Amber's boyfriend is a creeper! The nom nom nom t shirt that he wore to the hospital where she had her gastric bypass and eating fast food in front of her are red flags.

ETA: Amber really is a beauty.

Edited February 5, 2015 by PityFree

[mamey2422]

Amber being rolled through the airport in a luggage cart literally brought tears to my eyes. I know she put herself in that position but my heart broke for her and her family.

Her dad smiling when she was approved for surgery was so heartwarming.

[Cranky One]

Can she not at least wear flip flops? I felt so bad for her at the airport.

I like her and she seems to have a shift in her confidence. I think she'll be successful. Hopefully, creepy bf will still be around when she's smaller.

Edited February 5, 2015 by Cranky One

[deedee2]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't this show used to follow these people until they reached their goal weight? I feel like we're only seeing half the journey now.

Edited February 5, 2015 by deedee2

[aliya]

I agree that she is the best spoken and most thoughtful person they've had on here. I couldn't believe she had to go on a luggage cart in the airport. I've had mobility issues and they bring you a wheelchair or one of those golf cart things that carries a few people. Why couldn't she get one of those? 

 

Her weight as a child was shocking. How do parents let that happen? My mother was huge as a kid, even bigger as an adult until she got into her 40's or so. My grandmother was a nurse and should have known better, but I think my mother was spoiled - one daughter died and she had 2 brothers who doted on her. Maybe my grandparents just turned a blind eye since they had already lost one child, I don't know, but it's something I never understood considering my grandmother's training - and don't have the nerve to ask my elderly mother now. 

 

I thought she was barefoot, too, but when I looked again, it looked like she had on sandals. I can't imagine walking and feeling your legs sagging around your feet. Jebus.

 

Another strange boy friend - though at least he expressed doubts about staying around someone who was eating themselves into the grave. 

[Armchair Critic]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't this show used to follow these people until they reached their goal weight? I feel like we're only seeing half the journey now.

 

I agree, I looked up when it only had 10 minutes left and she had barely gotten out of surgery so unfortunately I knew we weren't going to see much of her progress. I am rooting for her and I really want to see how much she loses and how it changes her life.

[BostonBlonde]

Amber's boyfriend is a creeper! The nom nom nom t shirt that he wore to the hospital where she had her gastric bypass and eating fast food in front of her are red flags.

 

 

 

He's just like James' mother who wore a fast food shirt to an appt. I mean it had burgers & fries on it. NO LIE. WTF. 

 

Here ya go: INSANITY. 

 

Edited February 5, 2015 by BostonBlonde

[NYCFree]

I thought she was gorgeous! I wonder a bit about the bare feet as well. Her feet are probably wider than even the widest width available. Maybe she was afraid that flip flops would trip her up and decided that walking without shoes was more important.

I have to wonder about the boyfriend's "Nom Nom" t shirt. But I have seen people wear such wildly inappropriate tshirts to school and court, I believe that some people simply do not take even a second to think about what their shirts actually say.

[poeticlicensed]

I also got a weirdo creeper vibe from her boyfriend. 

 

Honestly, I think her moving away from her enabling parents was the best thing for her. The first time she has a setback, they will be there with 5 pounds of nachos to comfort her. I wish she would dump creepy Rowdy also. 

 

I couldn't bear looking at Amber's legs. It reminded me of Violet Beauregarde after she turned into a blueberry  in Charlie and the Chocolate factory 

 

I couldn't deal with her trying to navigate the airport. How did she manage to get into that airline seat I will never know. 

[non sequitur]

This one was really heart-breaking.  Amber is beautiful, like model beautiful.  Someone should have stepped in when she was younger, or just cut off the food supply.  

 

The airport was horrible, they should have piled up luggage on the other side of it or something. 

 

I don't know how safe it was for her on the plane and she probably wasn't able to go to the bathroom?

[Betweenyouandme]

I really, really, really liked Amber. I very much hope we get an update story at some point. I cried when the sea lion/ seal? kissed her. I know that's a trick it knows, but it was so endearing, and Amber seems like such a good person. It was interesting too because not many people on the show talk about feeling so bad that their family is having to sacrifice to help her. She kept on about it, and it felt very real, not a ploy for reassurance or sympathy since those comments were in the voiceovers.

I also love the bows she wore. I know it's sometimes disliked, but I thought it made her sweet looking, which matches her personality.

Edited February 5, 2015 by Betweenyouandme

[Guest]

Oh yeah, Nom Nom Rowdy was a total creeper. Way to eat the fast food in front of your girlfriend struggling to lose 20 pounds, doucher. And if they weren't having sex, the only thing I can see Rowdy getting into was the whole feeder fetish. Run away, Amber!

Agree with everyone else that Amber is super pretty and articulate. And it pissed me off to no end that people were taking cell phone pictures of her in the airport. Not everything is fodder for your Facebook timelines, assholes.

Oh, and note to Professional Victim/Bed Pooper Penny: if Amber can walk around at nearly 700 pounds, you and your "wound" have no reason to not get up.

[CarolMK]

In regards to seeing people get to their goal weight, as was asked upthread, the first 4  people who did the My 600 lb life were followed for a total of 7 years. I remember both Henry and Melissa getting to their goal weight, and the other 2 getting fairly close. It does take awhile with weight loss surgery to get the final results, but for this most recent set of  folks, they had the weight loss surgery about 1 1/2 years ago and we're now getting the updates..some of them, it's been about 2 years that has passed. All have been succesful except for Penny, although according to her, she has lost some weight, but not anywhere near what the other people have done. Haven't seen Missy's show yet but I will tomorrow. I'm rooting for her.

[wait.what]

No shoes? Even at the zoo?

She is at risk for infection because of poor circulation. The no shoes was making me crazy. What if she cut her foot? She could possibly not even know or be able to to reach it to take care of it properly.

[LiveenLetLive]

re how can parent let their child become 150 pounds at 5, I honestly believe that some parents just close their eyes to what is happening, I was a fat child (maybe not as fat as Amber but definitely fat) and I think in my case that they thought that the weight would magically disappear when I got older (it didn't.) Food can also be a way of quieting a difficult child (I was a horrible child, bright but willful, and in retrospect I think that shoving a bottle in my face,and later allowing me sole control over my diet, was one way to calm my tantrums.)

[EtheltoTillie]

Boyfriend seemed to . support her weight loss but why didn't he have a job? I hate when stuff like that goes unanswered in what purports to be a documentary of sorts.

Edited February 5, 2015 by GussieK

[DangerousMinds]

This one was really heart-breaking. Amber is beautiful, like model beautiful. Someone should have stepped in when she was younger, or just cut off the food supply.

The airport was horrible, they should have piled up luggage on the other side of it or something.

I don't know how safe it was for her on the plane and she probably wasn't able to go to the bathroom?

Is it more heartbreaking if a person is better looking? Because that's how I'm reading it. I don't mean this to sound snarky but I am very curious about this sentiment. Edited February 5, 2015 by DangerousMinds

[non sequitur]

Is it more heartbreaking if a person is better looking? Because that's how I'm reading it. I don't mean this to sound snarky but I am very curious about this sentiment.

No it was just two separate thoughts, but it does read that way.  

 

This episode seemed more sad compared to others. It was tough to see how Amber thought of herself as a failure and burden. She is so young to have that much self hate.  I hope she can find happiness.

[gardendiva]

I often try to predict how successful the person will be at the beginning of the show.

I knew Amber was going to do well because she cooked for herself and they showed her weighing her food, which is important to learn portion control, but she also didn't whine about what kind of food she was allowed to eat. She didn't lose her determination when creeper boyfriend was eating fast food in front of her.

She insisted on doing things for herself, and pushed herself to be as independent as she was able at each stage. She took responsibility for her situation, and felt remorse for how it affected the family.

All in all, she struck me as a beautiful person inside and out. I was pleased to see how much progress she had made by the end of her year. I look forward to her episode of "where are they now" more than anyone else's on this show.

Edited February 5, 2015 by gardendiva

[goodbyeglittergirl]

I hope Amber never returns to her parents. I hope she forms a complete life outside of them, and also I hope she dumps the boyfriend, who was just super gross to me. His lack of awareness (Nom Nom shirt, fast food, taking her grocery shopping for junk) was just disgusting to me. I hope with weight loss and therapy, Amber is able to become the beautiful person she seems to be inside. She is so young, she has her whole life ahead of her. I hope we see an update on her and that she is on top of the world. And wearing shoes.

[BostonBlonde]

I agree that the parents were responsible for her obesity early on but when does someone say: "Ok, I'm an adult...enough."  

 

You don't get to 700lbs. (that's a FT job of eating) because of someone else. She is also responsible. 

Edited February 5, 2015 by BostonBlonde

[gunderda]

Correct me if I'm wrong, but didn't this show used to follow these people until they reached their goal weight? I feel like we're only seeing half the journey now.

I don't remember the first season but last season we were only shown 12 months of their story.  Amber's started late, she didn't see Dr. Now until the 3 month mark in the episode.  Not sure why that was.. normally we see them go to Dr. Now right away.

 

I'm pretty sure Amber was wearing white flip flops at the zoo, or she was in one scene. Otherwise, not so sure, and it was really off-putting. I also don't know if she really weighed 150 lbs at age five, or at least based on the pictures used in the episode. 

 

Overall, I liked her even though I had some unanswered questions, too. 

Pretty sure she was barefoot EVERYWHERE, at the grocery store, in the zoo, at the Drs. Office, walking in the park and at the airport.  She did put on slippers at the airport while sitting in the airport.   So that makes me think that she can't walk with shoes/sandals on.  They probably trip her.  Still bizarre though..... get her some ballet flats.  

[PityFree]

The thing that struck me about Amber's eating (and others' on this series) was the HUGE bites of food she was taking. In one scene, she picked up a piece of chicken on her fork that I would have cut into two or three pieces and put the whole thing in her mouth. 

[AnnaBaptist]

I missed the last few minutes of the show due to a phone call. How much weight did she lose by the end of the episode?

I liked Amber very much and wish her well. I hope she will be a success.

 

Can they do lymphodema surgery on her legs? It would seem to me to be a very tricky surgery due to the circulatory system in the legs.

[JennB]

I'm glad Amber's was the first new episode they showed. It would have been a bummer to start with someone unmotivated, whiny, stubborn, etc. It's a much better show when you're actively rooting for the person to succeed.

[deedee2]

The thing that struck me about Amber's eating (and others' on this series) was the HUGE bites of food she was taking. In one scene, she picked up a piece of chicken on her fork that I would have cut into two or three pieces and put the whole thing in her mouth. 

 

I've noticed this, too. When food-addicted people eat, it's like they're eating to get their fix rather than to enjoy a meal. There's a compulsiveness to it that I don't see in non-morbidly obese people. I'm actually curious if this aspect of their eating changes as they learn to make healthier choices and serve themselves smaller portions.

 

I missed the last few minutes of the show due to a phone call. How much weight did she lose by the end of the episode?

I liked Amber very much and wish her well. I hope she will be a success.

 

Can they do lymphodema surgery on her legs? It would seem to me to be a very tricky surgery due to the circulatory system in the legs.

 

I can't remember the number, but it might have been under 500lb. The lymphoedema is also something I was wondering about. There was another girl whose legs were swollen from edema, and even after she lost hundreds of pounds, her legs remained very full. Is there nothing that can permanently drain them, or is the drainage mechanism so damaged that this is something they need to chronically manage?

[islandgal140]

When she said that at 16 that she had to be weighed at the doctor's office on a scale reserved for wheelchair bound people and she made the realization that 'this is it. I am now bigger than a human being and a piece of equipment' I had a new favorite featured person. Was Amber the youngest person ever featured on this show? I can't imagine being only 22-23 years old and weighing 660 lbs. Her therapy session struck me as true. She was not only concerned about being a disappointment and failure in her parents eyes but also mad at herself for wasting her youth being morbidly obese. 

 

She had such a sense of self awareness and when that self awareness finally met some of the confidence she was finding within herself she became that much better. When she was clothes shopping and looking at herself in the full length mirror she acknowledged that she saw and recognized that she had problem areas but she wouldn't be deterred and she would deal with them. Slow clap.

 

This episode was a bit odd though. Amber didn't get the surgery until nearly 40 (38 to be exact) minutes into the show.  It seemed unbalanced because a lot of time was spent showing Amber and her family trying to travel from Oregon to TX first by plane and then by car. I felt so bad but I just couldn't help but be equally mesmerized and horrified by the sight of her legs. When she reaches goal weigh, what will they look like and can anything be done for them?

 

 

At what point can we call this child abuse? She's been sitting at her parents table all her life while they put plates of cheesy nachos in front of her at 600 pounds? What the actual fuck?

And does Howdy or Rowdy live in the house with her and the parents? I'm so baffled by the dynamics here, I need a rewatch.

 

Yes to all this! So much WTF?!? How do you overfeed your child so damn much that they are 150 lbs by ago 5. 5 ?!? Are they just over permissive and overly indulgent because I also have to ask what kind of parents allow their 22 year old child's boyfriend to lay up in their house without seemingly a job or prospects? Not only that but they also took his ass with them when they re-located to TX for the surgery.

 

I was dying to know how old Rowdy (fuck kinda name is that) was because he looked to be in his mid to late 30's to me. He also looked like if he hadn't been shacked up in his girlfriend's parents house, he would be living in his mom's or grandmom's basement or garage and he might or might not have owned a van with a painting of a barbarian woman riding a white tiger on it at one point. Does he work? Go to school? The only job I can think of that would allow him to up and relocate is if he works from home or has some kind of mobile business. Other than that I guess he could be some kind of software programmer or computer hacker. For Amber sake, I hope so. If not, she can seriously do better.

 

Other than they fact that dude looked like a total early 90's creeper, eating a hotdog in her face and seeming like an unemployed sponge, I didn't have a problem with him. He seemed supportive of her weight lose (minus the hotdog and shirt thing) and I didn't see him putting up any roadblocks to Amber's progress. She did great and lost quite a bit of weight.  

 

Anyone notice that Amber stated that Rowdy was into larger women? Nothing wrong with that but my Gareth alarm bells went off, but he didn't appear to be anything like that flaming jackass.

 

I didn't even notice the boyfriend's "Nom nom nom" t-shirt until it was mentioned here. 

[gunderda]

I missed the last few minutes of the show due to a phone call. How much weight did she lose by the end of the episode?

I liked Amber very much and wish her well. I hope she will be a success.

 

Can they do lymphodema surgery on her legs? It would seem to me to be a very tricky surgery due to the circulatory system in the legs.

I think they've done surgery for some other people but ONLY after they loss a huge amount of weight to where it was definitely just all lose skin.

 

Her's was pretty drastic though so it will be interesting to see what can be done.

 

The young girl from last year (christina?) has to go in for constant therapy treatments to keep her legs from ballooning. 

[PityFree]

The lymphoedema is also something I was wondering about. There was another girl whose legs were swollen from edema, and even after she lost hundreds of pounds, her legs remained very full. Is there nothing that can permanently drain them, or is the drainage mechanism so damaged that this is something they need to chronically manage?

Back when the dinosaurs roamed the earth, there was an MTV True Life episode about obese young adults and one woman had Lymphoedema. She got a type of gentle massage done regularly and I remember her mentioning to her massage therapist that she had lost 50 pounds just due to the massage decreasing the amount of fluid in her legs. I was really shocked that Dr. Now didn't get her into some sort of massage therapy or treatment for the Lymphoedema right away. It would have made it so much easier to exercise and get some strain off of her body.

[Cheyanne11]

I missed the last few minutes of the show due to a phone call. How much weight did she lose by the end of the episode?

I liked Amber very much and wish her well. I hope she will be a success.

 

Can they do lymphodema surgery on her legs? It would seem to me to be a very tricky surgery due to the circulatory system in the legs.

 

She lost 267 lbs.  Her last weigh-in was 390.  She said it was the first time she's been under 400 lbs. in 10 years.  I really, really hope they do a follow-up with her and she continues to be successful.  She seemed so bright and articulate that I can't help but root for her success.

[poeticlicensed]

According to the TLC website, Amber was working up until a year ago. She also went to college, at least for a while, and drove a car. So Amber was mobile for many years and could have made the decision to change her eating habits, so I don't totally blame her parents. For feeding her as a child, yes, the parents are at fault, for not teaching her healthy eating habits, for sure. But when someone becomes an adult, at some point responsibility shifts to teh adult child. Once she became housebound, the parents just kept up the old feeding/ eating  habits. 

 

It's a horrible cycle. Amber eats because she feels crappy about herself. And she feels crappy about herself because she overeats and is obese. Her parents feed her the food that is killing her because she is unhappy and they figure that food makes her happy in the moment, so how can they take that away. The one I can't figure out is Rowdy. Where did they meet? Why did he move in with her parents? Does he have a job? 

[Cherrio]

I am glad she was successful so far.  I found her to be seriously depressed and semi- arrested development in how she felt about herself, her childlike crying and those bows in her hair.

 I hope she has continued with therapy.

 She did seem to have a healthier attitude later on.

[Ocean Chick]

I ended up really liking Amber.  I just wish her parents had taken her to see a therapist early on, when she was an anxious, depressed child, and nipped this all in the bud.  And there were many times I just wanted to slap her for putting all that stress on herself.  No one else was stressing her - just herself and her self-projections.  "Oh me - I'm disappointing my parents!"  Ugh.  And the whole family was overweight, not just Amber.  Though they weren't super morbidly obese.  They ALL need to cut out the nachos and learn to eat healthier.

 

I, too, wondered why Rowdy was living with the family and not seeming to add anything to the dynamic.  Yes, Amber said he was attracted to "bigger" women, but then said she'd gained SO much weight that he wasn't interested in sex with her anymore.  Not that having sex with her at that size would be easy, they way she was built.  I just hope he changes HIS mindset when she starts getting close to goal so that he doesn't sabotage her efforts. 

 

And yes, I agree with y'all about the bare feet - so gross.  The bottoms of her feet must be like leather now.  But at her weight she can't check them, so if she gets a cut and it gets infected she could lose her entire leg/life.  Hope she finds shoes to fit before her update next year.

 

I'm going to be rooting for her.  I only hope that Penny watched to see what a real contrast Amber is to her.

[PityFree]

I, too, wondered why Rowdy was living with the family and not seeming to add anything to the dynamic.  Yes, Amber said he was attracted to "bigger" women, but then said she'd gained SO much weight that he wasn't interested in sex with her anymore.  Not that having sex with her at that size would be easy, they way she was built.  I just hope he changes HIS mindset when she starts getting close to goal so that he doesn't sabotage her efforts. 

Maybe I misunderstood, but Amber seemed to indicate that they didn't have sex because they either had no privacy (living in her parents' home and sleeping in the den) or because she was too heavy for it to be possible. I missed her saying anything more explicit. I need to rewatch. I am not sure if him being less interested in sex would make Rowdy more or less creepy to me. 

[deedee2]

Maybe I misunderstood, but Amber seemed to indicate that they didn't have sex because they either had no privacy (living in her parents' home and sleeping in the den) or because she was too heavy for it to be possible. I missed her saying anything more explicit. I need to rewatch. I am not sure if him being less interested in sex would make Rowdy more or less creepy to me. 

 

She didn't say he was not interested in sex. She said he's sexually frustrated because they can't/don't have sex at her current weight. It sounded like she either was no longer comfortable with her body, or that it was just physically difficult to have sex.

[poeticlicensed]

Maybe I misunderstood, but Amber seemed to indicate that they didn't have sex because they either had no privacy (living in her parents' home and sleeping in the den) or because she was too heavy for it to be possible. I missed her saying anything more explicit. I need to rewatch. I am not sure if him being less interested in sex would make Rowdy more or less creepy to me.

 

I believe Amber said that Rowdy was sexually frustrated because they didn't have sex. She didn't elaborate about the reason. One would assume it was because of her weight. 

Edited February 5, 2015 by poeticlicensed

[momofsquid]

I really liked Amber from the beginning and will be rooting for her. Despite her self-hatred she seemed completely determined to turn her life around. I started to worry when she talked about using food to control anxiety and wasn't at all surprised when she ended up at the hospital with an anxiety attack. I'd like to hear more about how she has learned to control her anxiety without overeating. 

[Morgalisa]

 

What in the world was going on in her life that she was a 150 pound 5 yr old?

 

Exactly.  I thought Amber was very intelligent and articulate; and as a result I thought the producers allowed her to sort of control the narrative.  You don't get to be super obese, in my opinion, unless there is some pathology there.  More than just anxiety and my father once made rude comments about my weight and my parents  loved me with food.  Super obesity requires a dedication to maintaining that weight.  As someone upthread said, it is a fulltime job to eat that many calories.  Amber seemed to be very thoughtful and self-aware and yet she didn't dig deep enough for me.  

 

  I just feel like everything was wrapped up with a pretty bow and presented to us.  Happy family, not to dysfunctional, yet somehow she gets to be 600 pounds.  Except for the anxiety attack, her recovery seemed fairly uncomplicated.  Even before the surgery, I was surprised that she was as mobile as she was.  

 

I hope she stays on track and keeps up the good work.  She seems very nice and I wish her success. 

[gunderda]

She made it seem like the no sex was a self-esteem thing but I don't think there's anyway possible for them to have sex.

 

And their bedroom seemed to be in the downstairs living room.  He slept on one couch, she was on the other. 

[KarmaG]

I am really rooting for her to continue her success. The no shoes thing got me. I can't imagine walking everywhere, dirty parking lot, dirty store floors etc with no shoes and I am one of those people who hate having anything on my feet (socks bug me even). 

 

ETA: The boyfriend's shirt got my attention but only briefly. Nom Nom Nom is something the 20yr olds say a lot, at least my 20yr old children do.

Edited February 5, 2015 by KarmaG

[islandgal140]

Rowdy looked like he could've been a character from the movie Napoleon Dynamite.

 

She made it seem like the no sex was a self-esteem thing but I don't think there's anyway possible for them to have sex.

 

And their bedroom seemed to be in the downstairs living room.  He slept on one couch, she was on the other. 

 

Yeah, I don't see how sex (meaning intercourse) could've been logistically possible at her starting weight. Just nope.

 

I think those two slept downstairs due to the fact that Amber couldn't get up the stairs without help so she/they had a makeshift bedroom in what was probably meant to be a dining or family room.

 

I have come to the realization that I have never really warmed up to Dr. Now. Not that I dislike him but I don't necessarily like him either. His bedside manner is stilted to say the least. I don't know. I just wonder if there is more to his approach to weight loss besides a meal plan and the surgery, followed by skin surgery. I like that he sent Amber to a therapist which made me wonder if addressing the root cause of his patients over eating is ever a concern. I just wonder if his practice isn't just a few steps away from being a surgery mill.