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S05.E10: House Of Cards


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Brandi seems tipsy all the time to me. Is something wrong with her mouth? It is like a paralysis or something. The only time she seems normal looking to me is when she is all made up for her interviews. The rest of the time during this season she seems unkempt. Sorry, I know this has been discussed but I would think she would try harder if she is in a constant battle with her ex about her sons.

Edited by january1
  • Love 4

 

I thought LisaR was complimenting Brandi -- if you want to look at de-aging her as a compliment -- because she just wanted Brandi to shut up and go away.

 

There was a thought bubble above LisaR's head during that scene and that's exactly what it said: shut up and go away you drunk bitch!

 

(What? I had to add exactly what she was thinking!)

Edited by hypnotoad
  • Love 3

Nanny Pants - I agree with you. I didn't see Brandi's throat-slashing movement other than Brandi wanting the women to stop nagging Kim. Brandi would never want the cameras to stop rolling.

 

walnutqueen - agree there are other treatments available to addicts. I mention AA because it helped me to better understand addiction and how to deal with those addicts in my life. It was a great way to hear the perspectives of those who were former addicts as they told their stories. I came away with having compassion for the addict rather than hate. I learned to hate the game, not the player, so to speak. Doesn't mean I still don't refer to them as assholes, because their behavior is so vile at times, such as with Kim and Brandi.

 

There are many addicts who do suffer from mental disorders as well and if necessary, they may have to take medications. Addiction is its own disease, but it may also be a secondary issue to the main problem - mental disorder. That is why there are different treatments because all addicts are not the same, although addiction affects everyone the same.

 

I am curious as to what led Kim down this path. I don't think she has ever been asked directly what happened in her life that she felt the need to depend on narcotic and alcohol. Maybe she started out doing it as a recreational thing as a teen and it blossomed into an addiction. Most of the time when a well-known person has drug and alcohol issues and they become sober, they usually mention what caused their spiral downward, but I don't think Kim ever has, unless I missed it somehow.

 

As for Kim hating Kyle, without a doutbt I am sure she does a lot of the times. That is what addicts do when a loved one is trying to get them on the straight and narrow or they tell them the truth. The addict doesn't want to hear it. That is why Kim loves Brandi because Brandi - herself a pickle head - won't tell her what is in her best interest. Brandi tells Kim what she wants to hear including what Brandi wants her to hear. JMO

Edited by GreatKazu
  • Love 6

I know nothing about alcoholics but was wondering about Brandi's statement that Kyle drank the same amount and had a higher tolerance. Just read a few articles about alcoholics and their liver function which explains why Kyle and Brandi could drink the same amount of alcohol but Kyle is not showing any signs of being drunk such as slurring speech, getting loud, loss of balance.

Kyle may have a healthy liver which processes and eliminates liquor in 12-hours. Whereas Brandi's liver may be impaired which takes longer then 12-hours to process/eliminate her liquor. In essence Brandi who believe she drank the same amount as Kyle doesn't realize she's adding her booze on top of the booze still being processed in her liver from the evening before. So Brandi might have slurred speech, loud talk, fuzzy thinking and loss of balance from the same number of alcoholic drinks as Kyle. To Brandi it appears Kyle has a higher tolerance, but it's because Kyle's liver is healthy.

http://www.neillneill.com/can-a-functioning-alcoholic-be-affected-by-one-drink

All of that could be exactly right. IMO Brandi threw this out there to tell the world that perhaps Kyle is the one with the drinkng problem. That she can drink the same amount as Brandi, yet show few effects, which lots of folks will say is because her body has developed a tolerance for alcohol due to years of having it flow through her body in large and constant portions. This is Brandi's way of taking a huge negative on her persona - that she is a drunk - and throwing it over at Kyle. This is her game. She doesn't think Kyle was drinking as much as she was, but she is going to throw it out there very casually. I don't for one minute believe that Kyle drinks as much as Brandi does. As others have pointed out, we certainly haven't seen it over the years, nor have we heard about it in the press.

  • Love 7

Not to mention Kyle is not pencil-thin like Brandi. Doesn't a person who is thin, like Brandi, with hardly any muscle or fat on their body, get drunk a lot more easier than say a person, like Kyle, who has more meat on their bones?

 

I tend to always think about what Brandi says when she says something. Of course, she is going to deflect, and by saying Kyle drinks a lot, that points the finger at someone else, away from Brandi. Also, Brandi LIES! How many times has she been caught in a lie or exaggeration? By her saying Kyle drinks a lot, can that be taken as fact? Kim said the same thing during Limo-gate. Two addicts say the same thing. Hmmmm, Brandi repeating what Kim thinks and has publicly stated? What do you all think? I will say, without a doubt, Kyle likes to have the occasional wine and other alcohol. That doesn't make her an alcoholic and I certainly won't take Brandi's word at it. Brandi may have a bit of truth to what she says, but she also stretches it for miles.

Edited by GreatKazu
  • Love 5

My dad is an alcoholic and believe me, it takes about two drinks and he is drunk. I suspect it's that liver information realitytvsmack posted here.

 

Brandi is simply trying to move the topic of her alcohol issues on to someone else. Even if Kyle was an alcoholic and did drink the same as Brandi - so what? Kyle wasn't at the poker party slurring her speech and acting like a fool. She also wasn't acting that way at Yo's get together.

 

I generally have enjoyed this season. I think Lisa R and Eileen are great. I like Lisa V and Kyle too. I haven't seen much of Kim until this episode and I find myself feeling quite concerned about her. Yo has made no impression on me at all.

 

Brandi makes me sick. She isn't funny, interesting or talented. I ask again for about the 100th time: what does she bring to this show? My answer is nothing. Okay sure she acts up, I guess that's supposed to bring controversy. Me? I'd rather not watch that. She's assaulted cast members who are her co-workers. She lies constantly. She obviously has substance abuse issues. She has anger issues. The list goes on.

  • Love 9

Eh, bad liver or not, I will go with Brandi drinking all the damn time. Of course she is drunk because Brandi is an alcoholic. Kyle is happy in her life and she is not guzzling alcohol all damn day, that is the difference to me, not whether one's liver can process the alcohol. Even if they both drank the same amount of alcohol in a two hour period, Kyle would still be sober because Brandi likes her pills with her drinks.

Edited by GreatKazu
  • Love 5

I think Brandi threw the shade at Kyle as a way to deflect attention away from her, and to sort of say that everyone drinks, not just her. It's consistent with how she addresses the topic with everyone who tries to discuss it with her. She always counters with: "I'm an adult, there's nothing wrong with adults drinking, I'm allowed, etc., etc..."

Or maybe...Kim's drug of choice isn't alcohol, Brandi knows this, and maybe it's a passive-aggressive way of saying that yes, Kim's an addict, but guess what, world? Kyle drinks, too. A lot.

  • Love 4

Kim's behavior at poker night made me cringe. She was off her rocker in the limo with Lisa R, and she was loudly aggressive and loud at the table.  Kim was also quite manipulative in how she changed towards Kyle after exiting the bathroom.  I think that Kim purposely set Brandi against Kyle to deflect the attention from herself. I think that Brandi is socially awkward and has difficulty reading social dynamics.  She is also prone to viewing everything through a victim/attacker prism. From what we know of Brandi's perspective, Kim told her that Kyle upset her and that she (Kim) wanted to leave, and Brandi attempted to help her do so. I think Brandi meant well in appointing herself Kim's protector and trying to shepherd her out of the situation, but her perspective on the situation was not complete (nor was Kyle's, for that matter). I believe neither Brandi nor Kyle was trying to cause harm or embarrassment; why would they, especially when they were shown getting along earlier in the episode? But they are both to blame for allowing the situation to escalate and turn personal between them. Brandi should not have gotten involved between the sisters and should not have begun attacking Kyle herself. Especially after viewing the full scenes, she should be apologizing for her miscues instead of defending her own behavior. Kim also should be apologizing to all of them, but that is not part of her repertoire.

  • Love 6

I'm really, really glad Bravo aired the bathroom conversation between Kim and Kyle.  Can you imagine how this would have played out if we hadn't heard Kim admit she took some kind of drugs? 

 

I need to rewatch with that lens - the other women didn't know that Kim admitted to taking "a pill" so even though they may have guessed she was high on something, I think it plays out differently than if they knew what we (and Kyle) knew for sure.

  • Love 4
In 100% pain? Whatever the f*** that means.

 

It means, "I'm going through withdrawal and need another fix."  Or, "I'm in emotional pain so I need something to dull my brain from feeling anything."

 

The one thing it doesn't mean is, "I have bronchitis so the doc prescribed a mongo pain pill that is only given to seriously ill cancer patients."

  • Love 10

Kim's behavior at poker night made me cringe. She was off her rocker in the limo with Lisa R, and she was loudly aggressive and loud at the table.  Kim was also quite manipulative in how she changed towards Kyle after exiting the bathroom.  I think that Kim purposely set Brandi against Kyle to deflect the attention from herself. I think that Brandi is socially awkward and has difficulty reading social dynamics.  She is also prone to viewing everything through a victim/attacker prism. From what we know of Brandi's perspective, Kim told her that Kyle upset her and that she (Kim) wanted to leave, and Brandi attempted to help her do so. I think Brandi meant well in appointing herself Kim's protector and trying to shepherd her out of the situation, but her perspective on the situation was not complete (nor was Kyle's, for that matter). I believe neither Brandi nor Kyle was trying to cause harm or embarrassment; why would they, especially when they were shown getting along earlier in the episode? But they are both to blame for allowing the situation to escalate and turn personal between them. Brandi should not have gotten involved between the sisters and should not have begun attacking Kyle herself. Especially after viewing the full scenes, she should be apologizing for her miscues instead of defending her own behavior. Kim also should be apologizing to all of them, but that is not part of her repertoire.

 

 I think you make a lot of sense here because the drama quickly shifted from "Kim's wasted" to Kyle and Brandi. Addicts are scarily adept at shifting that kind of focus.    

  • Love 7
I'm really, really glad Bravo aired the bathroom conversation between Kim and Kyle.  Can you imagine how this would have played out if we hadn't heard Kim admit she took some kind of drugs?

 

 

Seriously. It likely would've sidetracked the entire episode into a was she or wasn't she? I think it's because of how pathetic Kim's situation is that people very much want to give her the benefit of the doubt even when her "kooky" behavior points to her past struggles. 

 

I'm glad that LisaR has been so candid about it all because it also helps clear up any lingering doubts people might have as to why Kim's behavior in the car was so weird. LisaR could have just acted like she had no idea what was going on but she just dealt with it as she saw it and I appreciate that because Kim has had way too much coddling in her life IMO and it obviously hasn't done her any good considering that she's in the same place she was some three years ago in spite of her claims of so-called sobriety.

Edited by Avaleigh
  • Love 8

I know we get those little clips of the wives here and there on vacay and stuff...but the way they presented those quick clips of Lisa and Giggy...they were just weird...nudey Giggy was cute, but the way those scenes were presented, again, it just skeeved me out for some reason...

I doubt Bravo sent a film crew with LisaV...maybe Ken took the quick video. I agree it was weird...then I think the whole way she makes sexual innuendos about her pets is freaky...can't stand her pet-sex talk. :D :D

  • Love 4

I am not even sure if all of that Kim's Drinking! Brandi's Crazy and Hitting Kyle! stuff wasn't cooked up between Kim and Brandi before they went on the trip.  It seems to me that this year Brandi seems to be constantly going for a kind of soap-opera moment--not just throwing wine in Eileen's face, but being highly dramatic and kind of weirdly flouncy. all the time  It struck me as her theme for the season to make herself relevant.   And I am not sure I buy Kim's I'm Blasted act either.  It seemed a little...staged.  In a very weird way.  It's possible these two are trying to come up with ways to stay employed.  Lisa R and Eileen seem to be taking the show into a slightly different--and a lot more classy--direction.  And Kyle, Yolanda and Lisa V seem to be happy to go along with that.  Which kind of leaves the Gruesome Twosome out in the cold unless they can bring it.  The only way they know how.

 

On the subject of Lisa R and Eileen, I love them both.  I'd much rather hear about their lives than Brandi and Kim's.  But on their intro-y things for their segments, each of them seem to have some strange floaty thing going on with the implant in their right breasts.  Ladies, please get that fixed!  It looks really odd!

Edited by quaintirene
  • Love 4

Is this it ? You can own it for just $75 + S&H (She linked it on her Facebook page, I didn't search QVC.)

Haha! I scrolled down, and Rinna (#1 Billie!) posted this after the ep aired:

https://www.facebook.com/LisaRinna/photos/a.432872934348.202327.314660334348/10153044678184349/?type=1&theater

Me, too, Lisa!

Edited by Found A Peanut
  • Love 5

Kim's behavior at poker night made me cringe. She was off her rocker in the limo with Lisa R, and she was loudly aggressive and loud at the table.  Kim was also quite manipulative in how she changed towards Kyle after exiting the bathroom.  I think that Kim purposely set Brandi against Kyle to deflect the attention from herself. I think that Brandi is socially awkward and has difficulty reading social dynamics.  She is also prone to viewing everything through a victim/attacker prism. From what we know of Brandi's perspective, Kim told her that Kyle upset her and that she (Kim) wanted to leave, and Brandi attempted to help her do so. I think Brandi meant well in appointing herself Kim's protector and trying to shepherd her out of the situation, but her perspective on the situation was not complete (nor was Kyle's, for that matter). I believe neither Brandi nor Kyle was trying to cause harm or embarrassment; why would they, especially when they were shown getting along earlier in the episode? But they are both to blame for allowing the situation to escalate and turn personal between them. Brandi should not have gotten involved between the sisters and should not have begun attacking Kyle herself. Especially after viewing the full scenes, she should be apologizing for her miscues instead of defending her own behavior. Kim also should be apologizing to all of them, but that is not part of her repertoire.

A  couple of times Kim told Brandi to stop blocking Kyle and Brandi ignored her. I don't think Brandi has developed some sort of "mothering/protective" instinct over Kim, I think she loves having a Bravo paycheck and she realizes that Kim is her only lifeline left.

 

I suspect that Yolanda pulled away from Brandi after the Joanna/Mohamed comment on WWHL. Yolanda  has even said that she has no contact with Brandi at all after filming ends, so Brandi knows she has no one else left and the others do not tolerate her at all anymore, including the newbies. Lisa R came out against Brandi 2 years ago on WWHL and I am sure she realized the Lisa R would fill Eileen in on her. That leaves Kim and only Kim that willingly films with her outside producer planned events.

  • Love 5

All these housewives having near nervous.breakdowns make me long for the days when Jeana was so laid back about her daughter Kara going to Berkeley. In fact, jeana..kara ..and jeanas friend traveling to college was hilarious :)

 

Yearn no more.

 

It's confirmed that Jeana is returning to RHOC this coming season.  See the RHOC threads for more info.  I'm delighted she's returning.  She was just so snarkalicious at times.

 

 

"GiGi on the bus! GiGi on the bus!"

 

Made me consider if Yolanda had a case of Tourette's along with her Lyme disease.

 

 

I interpreted Brandi's question about VVP as a dig - as in, you're working your butt off and he plays* all day?  Or even without the Eileen job factor, sort of trying to emasculate VVP.  He works, but it's not a job where he has to go somewhere each day; to me, that's a great lifestyle, but I could see Brandi trying to twist it into his being unsuccessful.  

 

*Plays as in, sits around eating bon bons, watching porn, or whatever - not as in playing tennis. 

 

I agree with your interpretation.

 

I'm beginning to think nothing that comes from that horse's ass mouth owned by Brandi is innocuous.

 

Hell, this drunken bitch actually paid to check out Lisa's background and admitted that she does this with all of her "friends."

 

No way in hell she didn't know precisely what VVP was doing these days.  

 

And pretty much the life history of Eileen and Vince and Lisa and Harry.

 

Her bullshit is pretty scary when you think about it.  Running paid background checks (even if it's only $9.99) on any new "friends"?  Hell, she makes Kristen on VPR look like an absolute novice in the stalking department.  

Edited by Persnickety1
  • Love 9

All of that could be exactly right. IMO Brandi threw this out there to tell the world that perhaps Kyle is the one with the drinkng problem. That she can drink the same amount as Brandi, yet show few effects, which lots of folks will say is because her body has developed a tolerance for alcohol due to years of having it flow through her body in large and constant portions. This is Brandi's way of taking a huge negative on her persona - that she is a drunk - and throwing it over at Kyle. This is her game. She doesn't think Kyle was drinking as much as she was, but she is going to throw it out there very casually. I don't for one minute believe that Kyle drinks as much as Brandi does. As others have pointed out, we certainly haven't seen it over the years, nor have we heard about it in the press.

This is a very poor attempt to insinuate Kyle has a drinking problem. Oh the irony of that. First of all why is she even concerned with how much Kyle is drinking? My experience tells me that this is a failed attempt at moderation. Alcoholics almost always make an attempt to moderate in some way. For some it's that they won't drink hard liquor anymore or not drinking during the week. In Brandis case I think she told herself I won't have any more wine then Kyle had. Hence her tracking Kyles drinking. Secondly Brandi was so blasted she may have perceived that she had two drinks but actually had much more than that. Or like a previous poster said her liver function, psych meds, and her weight are also factors. For whatever reason it is clear that Kyle leads a stable life and Brandi is out of control.

ETA or it be could be an Occam's razor situation and Brandi is a lying liar who lies.

Edited by nc socialworker
  • Love 5

A  couple of times Kim told Brandi to stop blocking Kyle and Brandi ignored her. I don't think Brandi has developed some sort of "mothering/protective" instinct over Kim, I think she loves having a Bravo paycheck and she realizes that Kim is her only lifeline left.

 

I suspect that Yolanda pulled away from Brandi after the Joanna/Mohamed comment on WWHL. Yolanda  has even said that she has no contact with Brandi at all after filming ends, so Brandi knows she has no one else left and the others do not tolerate her at all anymore, including the newbies. Lisa R came out against Brandi 2 years ago on WWHL and I am sure she realized the Lisa R would fill Eileen in on her. That leaves Kim and only Kim that willingly films with her outside producer planned events.

I couldn't agree more.  I could see Yolanda not only getting blasted by Mohamed but also by The King.  That accusation went way out of the bounds of decency and the confines of the RH franchise when it was blurted out on television.  It wouldn't be a stretch if The King read her the riot act about the people she chose to associate and confide in.  His attitude towards Brandi was not exactly warm and friendly at the dinner party.  Bottom line to me, Brandi made a fool out of Yolanda and Yolanda doesn't like looking anything but perfect.  And she's smart enough to know to dump Brandi in small phases.

  • Love 7

I went back and took a closer look for any flirting between Vince and Brandi.  Nah, not on his part. He had his had on her bare waist to move her out of the way.  After the trophy presentastion, she was between him and his chair and he gently positioned her so he could pass by.  Looks like he couldn't wait to sit down and get out of the line of fire.

Edited by Pattycake2
  • Love 3

I agree with those upthread that Kim could possibly have a mental illness.  I can't help but have compassion for her.

 

 

Okay, I know that Kim has done some crazy things but I really do believe that she does have other issues that causes her to drink. I feel bad for her because she obviously has demons and I do think she suffers from some serious anxiety. That's why I always have some sort of compassion for her. I think she's definitely a casualty of the 70's, 80's child star epidemic which was a brutal and very real period of Child actors falling to the wayside once their usefulness was over. No protection from the industry and it's demands or any real support after the ride was over. I totally see her dysfunction and how she's been affected by her time in front of the camera. I believe it's bigger than substance abuse and that her addictions are just a symptom of a mental issue which I think is massive anxiety.

 

When you don't develop properly socially, anxiety becomes a real problem. Kim herself has said that she never did have those social moments kids have while growing up and if she didn't really have that then how was she supposed to learn social etiquette? Learn how to emotionally deflect negative vibes from others. Get that self confidence that builds when you make friends, get feedback, have fights and learn what works and what doesn't work? What you can change or adjust vs. what is just YOU, can't be changed, have to embrace and find those compatible with your traits as well as being okay with letting go of those that don't see you favorably? It's all a dance we try to perfect with trial and error and adolescence as our choreographer.  Take all those years away where we learn all of this over time and what would you have?

 

I believe the product would be similar to what we see in Kim. In the first season we saw Kim really lean on Kyle regarding building friendships with the ladies. That told me a lot and I remember feeling bad for Kim because it was obvious that she was self conscious and it also looked like that was a dance they did a lot. Kim looking to Kyle to help make friends since Kyle had the more social interactive upbringing of the two. They've both described what their childhood, teenage years consisted of and from what they've said over the seasons it's pretty obvious that Kyle had more of what I described above which in turn made her a more well rounded individual and more comfortable in social settings. I don't think Kim has the same well roundedness and I think it has caused her severe anxiety starting from a very young age. I'm guessing teenage years.  Then she married so young and only had to worry about being a wife and mother, roles that already have a script so she never really had a chance to find her true self. Before she had a chance she was thrown in real life roles where other people came first and are the priority. 

 

I think that is at the core of her self medication with drinking and who knows what else. To loosen up, to not be so anxious, to be involved, to be liked, to not show her true self because she doesn't know if she will be accepted. Never had the opportunity to test the theory since she spend a good chunk of her childhood and teenage years playing someone else. This has created the cycle that she is now struggling with. I am very empathetic because I think the substance abuse is the least of her true issues. I think that in order to be treated for her initial ailment her sobriety is strained to the max and honestly I think her loved one's should be more concerned with treating and healing the root and not so concerned about the symptoms which will never go away if the cause of all the addiction isn't addressed.

 

I think she has tried to be sober. Failing over and over again doesn't negate her efforts but like I said, the real issue needs to be fixed before you can stop the damage being done by the symptoms and I think Kim's attempts at a healthy life has been approached very wrong by those around her. I can totally see Kim's cries for help and for what problems she's wanting to correct and begging for her sisters to acknowledge and confirm and validate. She can't be the only one on this journey because it involves all of them and if Kathy and Kyle don't want to validate her truth because in doing so they have to acknowledge where they lacked in all of it and have to stop protecting Big Kathy then Kim can't truly heal. If they dismiss Kim's demons, that I believe are very justified, or minimize the affect their early years had on Kim then the resentment and doubt Kim has about herself and them just keeps going and going with her anxiety skyrocketing and her addiction continuing.

 

Kyle and Kathy have acknowledge and shared some of their history but there is also hesitation when in comes to validating Kim. It's more like they can confirm that their childhood wasn't the most appropriate and they were subjected to a lot but at the same time it seems like they try to share the dysfunction equally since they all suffered at the hands of big Kathy but I truly believe Kim took the brunt of it considering that not only did she have Big Kathy for a mother but she also had the dysfunction of growing up in the industry at a time where child actors where not afforded the most age appropriate environment.  Kyle did work and was a child actor but she was never at the level Kim was. Kim reached Child Star A list status, I remember. Kyle's biggest gig as a child actor was Alicia on Little House on the Prairie and I'm a LHOTHP FANATIC as well as devoted Michael Landon lover and I can promise you this (mainly because I've seen all the cast interviews, reunions, tell alls about Little House and Michael) the environment on that set was definitely not questionable and working with Michael was always expressed with the upmost joy.

 

So no Kyle, nor Kathy can relate equally to Kim's demons and I think that's a big part of Kim's problems. Causes resentment because I think Kim needs them more than anyone to acknowledge that the reason why they managed to live pretty healthy lives after surviving Big Kathy is because Kim's demons go deeper, has different contributors, different levels and it's not just some character flaw that had her life spiral into the tornado she's living in today. That's everything I get from these seasons of RHoBH. Of course Kim has got to take the reigns and tame the Stallion that is her addiction and ailments but damn I'm really wondering when the people in her life are gonna get a clue on how to finally PROPERLY participate and support her in her quest because I do think she wants to get there.

 

It's hard and definitely unfair but considering the level of concern, heartache, embarrassment, hopefulness, worry, etc. etc. that Kyle expresses about the challenges both SHE (eyeroll) and Kim must endure at the hands of Kim's addiction then hunni you need to be waaaaayyyyyy more efficient with all of that support you claim to be providing or have provided. Apparently Kyle doesn't plan on getting off the ride so her contribution needs a new direction because all of her past support, although commendable missed the mark and I think the reasons I've listed above are the reasons why.

I'm really, really glad Bravo aired the bathroom conversation between Kim and Kyle.  Can you imagine how this would have played out if we hadn't heard Kim admit she took some kind of drugs?

 

 

I've seen the episode a second time and just as I thought. In the bathroom Kim says that Monty gave her a pill that the Dr. gave HER. I'm not trying to make excuses but I'm not convinced that Kim was popping Monty's pills.

  • Love 6

Perhaps she didn't drink, but I won't rule out snorting and huffing.

Brandi admitted on a game during WWHL that she basically has done every illegal drug under the sun. I guess we're to believe this is all since the divorce? And only on weekends that she doesn't have her kids? I don't understand how Eddie hasn't taken over full custody of these boys by now.

  • Love 2
I think she has tried to be sober. Failing over and over again doesn't negate her efforts but like I said, the real issue needs to be fixed before you can stop the damage being done by the symptoms and I think Kim's attempts at a healthy life has been approached very wrong by those around her.

 

 

I appreciate your post, but around this section is where you lose me, because it once again projects responsibility for Kim's sobriety onto others.  Kim is fifty.  And it also makes the assumption that everything Kim's family has done over, what, thirty or so years is just wrong, and if they would just get it right then Kim would be better.  As others have said, Kim is much more fortunate than other addicts with the same issues, in that her family hasn't completely cut her off and removed themselves from her toxic behavior for their own sanity.

 

At this point in Kim's life, she is 100% responsible for whatever choices and decisions she makes, and how she chooses to handle her problems.

  • Love 12

Kyle and Kathy have acknowledge and shared some of their history but there is also hesitation when in comes to validating Kim. It's more like they can confirm that their childhood wasn't the most appropriate and they were subjected to a lot but at the same time it seems like they try to share the dysfunction equally since they all suffered at the hands of big Kathy but I truly believe Kim took the brunt of it considering that not only did she have Big Kathy for a mother but she also had the dysfunction of growing up in the industry at a time where child actors where not afforded the most age appropriate environment. Kyle did work and was a child actor but she was never at the level Kim was. Kim reached Child Star A list status, I remember. Kyle's biggest gig as a child actor was Alicia on Little House on the Prairie and I'm a LHOTHP FANATIC as well as devoted Michael Landon lover and I can promise you this (mainly because I've seen all the cast interviews, reunions, tell alls about Little House and Michael) the environment on that set was definitely not questionable and working with Michael was always expressed with the upmost joy.

.

One of the most fascinating things about the Richards Sisters is that they will acknowledge things in a way that stops just short of analyzing. They are especially prone to this about their childhood or their mother. It's like they will step right up to the edge of critical thinking and then run back into the saftey of "that's just the way things are". So they do this weird thing of stating out loud that a behavior or pattern or childhood story is kind of messed up and then shrug their shoulders and continue on in their merry little dysfunctional way. I can't tell if they just aren't that bright, or Big Kathy did a number on them, or both. I tend to think it's both.

One of the things I think Big Kathy did do that they are having trouble breaking free from was assign them roles as young children and demand that they fill them. I think Kathy was the pretty, sophisticated one. Kim was the artsy, talented one. Kyle was the nice, helpful one. So even if these roles don't fit in a lot of ways they seem hell bent on fulfilling them. Everyone pretends Kathy has great taste even though she always shows up in leopard print shirts from Sears. Everyone indulges Kim's erratic behavior because she sensitive and kooky like an artist. And Kyle gets dumped on because she's the sweet baby sister holding everybody's purse while they go dance with cute boys. And it kills me that these are middle aged women and Big Kathy has been dead for years and they are still letting the roles they were probably assigned when they were 4 dictate their lives.

Edited by FozzyBear
  • Love 10

I am very empathetic because I think the substance abuse is the least of her true issues. I think that in order to be treated for her initial ailment her sobriety is strained to the max and honestly I think her loved ones should be more concerned with treating and healing the root and not so concerned about the symptoms which will never go away if the cause of all the addiction isn't addressed.

Sincerely Yours, your post upthread is interesting and makes sense.  (I only quoted a section.)  I wonder if Kim has been diagnosed but the family keeps it under wraps.

  • Love 4

Sincerely Yours, your post upthread is interesting and makes sense.  (I only quoted a section.)  I wonder if Kim has been diagnosed but the family keeps it under wraps.

I'm starting to wonder if it's something like Britney Spears or Amanda Bynes. There does seem to be a flipping out of child performers in their early twenties. Kim wouldn't have had the added pressure of the current media spot light so we wouldn't be aware of it.

  • Love 3

I think she has tried to be sober. Failing over and over again doesn't negate her efforts but like I said, the real issue needs to be fixed before you can stop the damage being done by the symptoms and I think Kim's attempts at a healthy life has been approached very wrong by those around her.

 

I appreciate your post, but around this section is where you lose me, because it once again projects responsibility for Kim's sobriety onto others.

 

 

Quite frankly, it's because they put themselves there. If you are going to reside in, speak on, clutch pearls, be embarrassed by, contribute and be victimized by Kim's woes, problems, mistakes, bad choices, tornadoes etc. then you don't get to sit on the side lines, jump in or excuse when you want, how you want, how little or how often you want. I just don't like that she allows for there to be a divide in their victimizations. They are both victims, they have both made bad decisions, they are both facing demons and after awhile no matter what situation, when someone is seen on the receiving end of someone else's wrongdoing then that person gains an imbalanced amount of sympathy. Like it or not the fact of the matter is Kim is the bigger casualty because she's still living in turmoil brought on by actions she has problems controlling whereas Kyle has a better handle on her life, her immediate family etc. etc. and it gets on my nerves when, even though it's shitty place to be, Kyle's suffering is no more tragic than Kim actually living in the eye of the storm.

 

I believe Kyle, to be truly supportive, could share her experiences, state their sad history, hell even shed tears. Go right ahead but then at the end of all that, what's missing for me is where Kyle doesn't feel the need for anyone to feel sorry for her. I mean people will, it's a given, just with the story alone and it would be genuine and sincere which is fine but what I've gotten from Kyle is that she actually wants the sympathy to an inappropriate degree. To me, there's a part of her that seems to want to bask in it.

 

That's where I give the side eye and that's why I put some responsibility on Kyle because she attaches herself in a way that suggests that she'll be damned if she doesn't get her fair share of the sympathy. It looks like she plays up her reactions every time Kim has an episode... lights, camera, action Kyle's ready for her close-up, spits out her lines and makes sure no one has missed her embarrassed, worried, concerned moment over Kim. It's too contrived to me and it's just what I see on my screen but even though I know Kyle loves her sister I somehow see this little devil sitting on her shoulder in the way she carries herself in the situations that we see on the show. It just rings, not quite right to me. I've softened up on Kyle over the last couple of seasons but when it comes to this I just have a very particular view on the subject.

 

All I'm saying is that every new development with Kim, at this point isn't cause for a new wave of sympathy for either one of them. Well wishes, and hope for recovery yes.  I feel that Kyle has perfected to a degree her moment when she's the poor put upon sister that got the short end of the stick each time Kim relapses or has a public episode. When I see Kyle's behavior during one of Kim's low moments it rings to me more about how Kyle's dealing, reacting to it and her level of distress.

 

To me Kyle's antics are at the very least noticeable if not blatantly obvious. I'm not saying that Kyle deliberately sabotages Kim or that she doesn't fear for Kim. I do believe Kyle has genuine and honest emotions and reactions but my big gripe with Kyle is that she sure as hell never misses the opportunity to have that spotlight shining on her when some unfortunate episode does go down. It's like Kim's having a "moment" time to get into character. I can kinda see the switch go off. It's weird. I think it's a very ugly way to want to be the Star. I also don't think Kyle realizes how icky it comes across either. I know not everyone sees it in that perspective but to me its just so ridiculously clear and it leaves such a bad taste in my mouth. 

  • Love 6

 

I've seen the episode a second time and just as I thought. In the bathroom Kim says that Monty gave her a pill that the Dr. gave HER. I'm not trying to make excuses but I'm not convinced that Kim was popping Monty's pills.

I think because it's Kim, its a crap shoot. We can't trust what she says - especially when she is under the influence, because she is a practiced liar due to her addictions. At the same time, she could have been prescribed something by a doctor who isn't familiar with her history. It really is difficult to say, but we do know that if she is taking pills, she is not sober. 

 

ETA:

 

Brandi admitted on a game during WWHL that she basically has done every illegal drug under the sun. I guess we're to believe this is all since the divorce? And only on weekends that she doesn't have her kids? I don't understand how Eddie hasn't taken over full custody of these boys by now.

Because it's Eddie. He married Brandi (cheater or not) he knows perfectly well what type of person he chose to be the mother of his children. And as far as we know neither of them have ever tried to take full custody from the other. I think shared custody is the only thing the two of them ever agreed on during the divorce, because there has never been (to my knowledge) any kind of debate over custody between them. IMO Eddie is just as much of a lowlife as Brandi is and the two of them were probably a match made in heaven until they weren't. 

 

We see more of Brandi than we do Eddie, but we have no way of knowing if he is just as sleazy in his personal life as she is or even if he wants full custody of the boys. I think if he wanted full custody, he would have done something about it by now, which leads me to believe that he is perfectly fine with only having them 50 percent of the time.

Edited by MatildaMoody
  • Love 4

Okay, I know that Kim has done some crazy things but I really do believe that she does have other issues that causes her to drink. I feel bad for her because she obviously has demons and I do think she suffers from some serious anxiety. That's why I always have some sort of compassion for her. I think she's definitely a casualty of the 70's, 80's child star epidemic which was a brutal and very real period of Child actors falling to the wayside once their usefulness was over. No protection from the industry and it's demands or any real support after the ride was over. I totally see her dysfunction and how she's been affected by her time in front of the camera. I believe it's bigger than substance abuse and that her addictions are just a symptom of a mental issue which I think is massive anxiety.

 

When you don't develop properly socially, anxiety becomes a real problem. Kim herself has said that she never did have those social moments kids have while growing up and if she didn't really have that then how was she supposed to learn social etiquette? Learn how to emotionally deflect negative vibes from others. Get that self confidence that builds when you make friends, get feedback, have fights and learn what works and what doesn't work? What you can change or adjust vs. what is just YOU, can't be changed, have to embrace and find those compatible with your traits as well as being okay with letting go of those that don't see you favorably? It's all a dance we try to perfect with trial and error and adolescence as our choreographer.  Take all those years away where we learn all of this over time and what would you have?

 

I believe the product would be similar to what we see in Kim. In the first season we saw Kim really lean on Kyle regarding building friendships with the ladies. That told me a lot and I remember feeling bad for Kim because it was obvious that she was self conscious and it also looked like that was a dance they did a lot. Kim looking to Kyle to help make friends since Kyle had the more social interactive upbringing of the two. They've both described what their childhood, teenage years consisted of and from what they've said over the seasons it's pretty obvious that Kyle had more of what I described above which in turn made her a more well rounded individual and more comfortable in social settings. I don't think Kim has the same well roundedness and I think it has caused her severe anxiety starting from a very young age. I'm guessing teenage years.  Then she married so young and only had to worry about being a wife and mother, roles that already have a script so she never really had a chance to find her true self. Before she had a chance she was thrown in real life roles where other people came first and are the priority. 

 

I think that is at the core of her self medication with drinking and who knows what else. To loosen up, to not be so anxious, to be involved, to be liked, to not show her true self because she doesn't know if she will be accepted. Never had the opportunity to test the theory since she spend a good chunk of her childhood and teenage years playing someone else. This has created the cycle that she is now struggling with. I am very empathetic because I think the substance abuse is the least of her true issues. I think that in order to be treated for her initial ailment her sobriety is strained to the max and honestly I think her loved one's should be more concerned with treating and healing the root and not so concerned about the symptoms which will never go away if the cause of all the addiction isn't addressed.

 

I think she has tried to be sober. Failing over and over again doesn't negate her efforts but like I said, the real issue needs to be fixed before you can stop the damage being done by the symptoms and I think Kim's attempts at a healthy life has been approached very wrong by those around her. I can totally see Kim's cries for help and for what problems she's wanting to correct and begging for her sisters to acknowledge and confirm and validate. She can't be the only one on this journey because it involves all of them and if Kathy and Kyle don't want to validate her truth because in doing so they have to acknowledge where they lacked in all of it and have to stop protecting Big Kathy then Kim can't truly heal. If they dismiss Kim's demons, that I believe are very justified, or minimize the affect their early years had on Kim then the resentment and doubt Kim has about herself and them just keeps going and going with her anxiety skyrocketing and her addiction continuing.

 

Kyle and Kathy have acknowledge and shared some of their history but there is also hesitation when in comes to validating Kim. It's more like they can confirm that their childhood wasn't the most appropriate and they were subjected to a lot but at the same time it seems like they try to share the dysfunction equally since they all suffered at the hands of big Kathy but I truly believe Kim took the brunt of it considering that not only did she have Big Kathy for a mother but she also had the dysfunction of growing up in the industry at a time where child actors where not afforded the most age appropriate environment.  Kyle did work and was a child actor but she was never at the level Kim was. Kim reached Child Star A list status, I remember. Kyle's biggest gig as a child actor was Alicia on Little House on the Prairie and I'm a LHOTHP FANATIC as well as devoted Michael Landon lover and I can promise you this (mainly because I've seen all the cast interviews, reunions, tell alls about Little House and Michael) the environment on that set was definitely not questionable and working with Michael was always expressed with the upmost joy.

 

So no Kyle, nor Kathy can relate equally to Kim's demons and I think that's a big part of Kim's problems. Causes resentment because I think Kim needs them more than anyone to acknowledge that the reason why they managed to live pretty healthy lives after surviving Big Kathy is because Kim's demons go deeper, has different contributors, different levels and it's not just some character flaw that had her life spiral into the tornado she's living in today. That's everything I get from these seasons of RHoBH. Of course Kim has got to take the reigns and tame the Stallion that is her addiction and ailments but damn I'm really wondering when the people in her life are gonna get a clue on how to finally PROPERLY participate and support her in her quest because I do think she wants to get there.

 

It's hard and definitely unfair but considering the level of concern, heartache, embarrassment, hopefulness, worry, etc. etc. that Kyle expresses about the challenges both SHE (eyeroll) and Kim must endure at the hands of Kim's addiction then hunni you need to be waaaaayyyyyy more efficient with all of that support you claim to be providing or have provided. Apparently Kyle doesn't plan on getting off the ride so her contribution needs a new direction because all of her past support, although commendable missed the mark and I think the reasons I've listed above are the reasons why.

 

I've seen the episode a second time and just as I thought. In the bathroom Kim says that Monty gave her a pill that the Dr. gave HER. I'm not trying to make excuses but I'm not convinced that Kim was popping Monty's pills.

While I do think Kim has mental health/stability problems it is not in Kyle's or Kathy's power to force her to get help. IMO, just mine, Kim does not want help, she does not want to face her demons, she does not want to get better. No one can force Kim to do anything that she does not want to do, the same for most addicts and anyone with psych problems unless they are threatening to physically hurt another or kill themselves (abusing drugs does not count legally as threatening yourself) there is nothing a family member can do.

 

Paul made it clear a few seasons ago that Kim was on a rather large cocktail of RX drugs, the assumption was that they were psych/anxiety/depression type of drugs, so she is getting them from some Dr., who is aware that she has psych issues. I think wants these pills but refuses to do the sit down, talk it through process needed to heal emotionally or to give her tools to help her navigate her way through life. She wants the easy way out, pop a pill, take a drink and forget whatever it is.

 

Kim tells Kyle, in the bathroom, that Monty gave her a pill like her Dr. did, meaning, it was like a pain pill she has been prescribed in the past but that it was his pain med not hers.

  • Love 2

Regarding Kyle wanting sympathy because of what she has gone through with Kim--

I feel like it's natural to want people to understand where they're coming from and why it's frustrating for them to have to constantly deal with x, y, and z. When limogate happened the primary focus was how Kyle could do something so horrible to her sister. At the time I don't recall much discussion about this possibly being one incident too many for Kyle to have to put up with in addition to having to sit through Kim throwing daggers at her and Mauricio after years of support and help. It was Kyle who was most raked over the coals during that incident so I can totally sympathize with Kyle wanting people to have a better understanding of her side of the story what she's had to put up with and deal with for so many years.

That being said, another point I keep in mind is how Kyle is constantly covering and making excuses for Kim's behavior. To me her habit of doing this doesn't speak to a person who is fishing for sympathy so much as a person who is trying to pretend that everything is fine. There are multiple points where Kyle could have gained sympathy with the audience by putting some of Kim's more offensive behavior on blast but she hasn't done that. Instead we have examples of her even defending Kim when Kim has clearly been in the wrong.

Why on earth would Monty have to give Kim a pill that had been prescribed to her? Kim was using that crap as an excuse. In her blog she says that she took pain medication from Monty for her "bronchitis" (big eye roll there if she wants people to believe that she was incredibly ill with bronchitis only to feel well enough to smoke a cigar at the party wtf-ever) and that "if she'd known" that the pill would cause her to act the way that she did that she would never have taken it. IMO it's plain as day that she was taking Monty's pain meds so that she could get high.

It isn't as though Kim was talking to LisaR about any physical pain she was dealing with because of her alleged bronchitis. She was talking about emotional pain IMO wrt the Monty situation in addition to whatever other deep issues she has.

I think the worst part of her blog is how she claims to still be sober and that this latest incident somehow doesn't qualify as a lapse in her sobriety. To hear Kim tell it she's stronger than she's ever been and this is just such nonsense to anyone who has eyes or ears that she was not behaving like a sober person.

Furthermore we have Kim making comments about how people will "assume" things and actually goes so far as to say that she's shown strength and courage in her sobriety for three years. Not only does she repeatedly insult the intelligence of the viewers but she actually has the audacity to claim that she's a victim when people "assume" rather than believe her claims and versions of events.

I find it very hard to sympathize with a person who won't own up to anything real or significant. It's like in her head she's misunderstood and everyone else is either ignorant of the truth* or mean.

*By truth I mean Kim's twisted little asswipe truth. (Another shoutout to the AbFab fans here.)

  • Love 6

Regarding Kyle wanting sympathy because of what she has gone through with Kim--

I feel like it's natural to want people to understand where they're coming from and why it's frustrating for them to have to constantly deal with x, y, and z. When limogate happened the primary focus was how Kyle could do something so horrible to her sister. At the time I don't recall much discussion about this possibly being one incident too many for Kyle to have to put up with in addition to having to sit through Kim throwing daggers at her and Mauricio after years of support and help. It was Kyle who was most raked over the coals during that incident so I can totally sympathize with Kyle wanting people to have a better understanding of her side of the story what she's had to put up with and deal with for so many years.

That being said, another point I keep in mind is how Kyle is constantly covering and making excuses for Kim's behavior. To me her habit of doing this doesn't speak to a person who is fishing for sympathy so much as a person who is trying to pretend that everything is fine. There are multiple points where Kyle could have gained sympathy with the audience by putting some of Kim's more offensive behavior on blast but she hasn't done that. Instead we have examples of her even defending Kim when Kim has clearly been in the wrong.

Why on earth would Monty have to give Kim a pill that had been prescribed to her? Kim was using that crap as an excuse. In her blog she says that she took pain medication from Monty for her "bronchitis" (big eye roll there if she wants people to believe that she was incredibly ill with bronchitis only to feel well enough to smoke a cigar at the party wtf-ever) and that "if she'd known" that the pill would cause her to act the way that she did that she would never have taken it. IMO it's plain as day that she was taking Monty's pain meds so that she could get high.

It isn't as though Kim was talking to LisaR about any physical pain she was dealing with because of her alleged bronchitis. She was talking about emotional pain IMO wrt the Monty situation in addition to whatever other deep issues she has.

I think the worst part of her blog is how she claims to still be sober and that this latest incident somehow doesn't qualify as a lapse in her sobriety. To hear Kim tell it she's stronger than she's ever been and this is just such nonsense to anyone who has eyes or ears that she was not behaving like a sober person.

Furthermore we have Kim making comments about how people will "assume" things and actually goes so far as to say that she's shown strength and courage in her sobriety for three years. Not only does she repeatedly insult the intelligence of the viewers but she actually has the audacity to claim that she's a victim when people "assume" rather than believe her claims and versions of events.

I find it very hard to sympathize with a person who won't own up to anything real or significant. It's like in her head she's misunderstood and everyone else is either ignorant of the truth* or mean.

*By truth I mean Kim's twisted little asswipe truth. (Another shoutout to the AbFab fans here.)

Like to the 10th power!

  • Love 1

I just think that people who look at Kim's problems as a moral failure are off the mark. Even if Kim never stays clean, that doesn't mean she worthless, good for nothing.

 

I work at the state mental hospital. I see people like Kim everyday. Sometimes, what they need to hear is that they are loved just the way they are and that even if they are relapsing or have started using again, that doesn't mean they have failed.

 

It's not an all or nothing thing like our society has made it. She may always need a cocktail of psych meds and she shouldn't feel bad about needing them. That is between her and her psychiatrist.

Edited by Higgins
  • Love 3

I just think that people who look at Kim's problems as a moral failure are off the mark. Even if Kim never stays clean, that doesn't mean she worthless, good for nothing.

 

I work at the state mental hospital. I see people like Kim everyday. Sometimes, what they need to hear is that they are loved just the way they are and that even if they are relapsing or have started using again, that doesn't mean they have failed.

 

It's not an all or nothing thing like our society has made it. She may always need a cocktail of psych meds and she shouldn't feel bad about needing them. That is between her and her psychiatrist.

 

I agree with all of that.  However, Kim is an ass to people when she's high.  She IS loved even though she's an addict, but she treats those people like sh*t, lies to them, etc., So I don't think she should get a pass for doing terrible things to people just because she's an addict either.

  • Love 10

I just think that people who look at Kim's problems as a moral failure are off the mark. Even if Kim never stays clean, that doesn't mean she worthless, good for nothing.

 

I work at the state mental hospital. I see people like Kim everyday. Sometimes, what they need to hear is that they are loved just the way they are and that even if they are relapsing or have started using again, that doesn't mean they have failed.

 

It's not an all or nothing thing like our society has made it. She may always need a cocktail of psych meds and she shouldn't feel bad about needing them. That is between her and her psychiatrist.

I understand needing to hear you are loved but asking people you have used and abused time and time again for decades is a bit much when you refuse to work at getting better and refuse to take responsibility for the pain you have caused them. It is ok for her family to step back, love her from a distance unless she gets help. Yes, Kim will most likely need to take psych meds but 1 must keep in mind that there is also the probability of her abusing those meds unless she commits to getting clean AND dealing with her demons head on instead of hiding in her pills/alcohol. The choice is Kim's to make, she can either work to get well or she can keep abusing/using, her choice, not her families choice.

  • Love 4

I agree with all of that.  However, Kim is an ass to people when she's high.  She IS loved even though she's an addict, but she treats those people like sh*t, lies to them, etc., So I don't think she should get a pass for doing terrible things to people just because she's an addict either.

and to add to that what bothers me is her refusal to exam her actions. She told Andy that she didn't watch her behavior on the show before rehab. I would think that would be a valuable tool.

  • Love 2

What did she do that is so terrible?

Are you asking about this episode specifically or since she's been on the show? I feel like there are a list of things either way to be honest. I'm not of the opinion that she's not responsible for her own behavior once she's under the influence and even if we're talking about her so-called sober periods she's still shown herself to be rude as hell with multiple cast members.

Kim admitted to Andy in an interview that she didn't watch her bad behavior from season 2. In her most recent blog she makes it apparent that she didn't think she was out of line that evening. She didn't acknowledge or apologize for a thing in her blog even though she was rude to both of her hosts, she called LisaR stupid , she had attitude with Kyle, etc. OTOH she did make sure to spin everything by making it seem like Kyle was wrong for honestly telling her that she feels embarrassed by the behavior she has admitted was caused by taking a pain pill/s that according to her she'd never taken before.

Kim is constantly being told how loved she is. I don't see an absence of love being Kim's problem. She's actually incredibly fortunate enough to have a large and very supportive family who she's even admitted are both emotionally and financially there for her. IMO she's been coddled for far too long so she seems unlikely to change because she always finds a way of turning herself into a victim. I also don't feel like calling Kim out for her behavior necessarily means that she's being kicked while she's down.

Edited by Avaleigh
  • Love 6

Okay in her blog Kim claims she was in pain from having bronchitis and pneumonia. What kind of pain do you feel from respiratory illnesses? She also twists Kyle's "embarassed" comment into being about her, instead of being about being a lame poker player. So, pretty much everything everyone has assumed about her response to the whole thing would be.

Respiratory illnesses, especially pneumonia, can be quite painful with every breath. Kim is full of crap, however, because there's no way she could smoke a cigar while having either, much less both,to any real degree. And pain relievers per se, wouldn't be prescribed, because the remedy for the pain is the remedy for the disease. In other words, if the cause is bacterial, then when antibiotics and inhalers take effect, most of the pain relents except lingering muscular pain from the efforts to breathe.

  • Love 2

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