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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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3 hours ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

My husband and I don't have pets, and I've had more than one person imply that we're selfish.

Seriously? Is this the new "you don't have children, you are so selfish" thing?

I wonder what people would say to me. I have no children by choice but I spoil my two cats rotten and volunteer at a cat rescue. I might fulfill quite a few stereotypes.

Let's see: selfish for not having children, filling the hole in my heart by overindulging cats, crazy cat lady....help me, there must be a few more.

Edited by supposebly
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1 hour ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

We're not perfect, but we know our limitations, and at least no animal is suffering on our watch. 

As a result of me taking my dog out in public a lot, and because he's TV good-looking and incredibly friendly, I have frequent conversations with people who say one of the following things while Norman is charming them:

  • I want a dog, but I'm not home enough to take care of it. (I get this one a lot, so I hope that gives some comfort that most people I talk to understand how much of a responsibility it is.)
  • Does he shed a lot?  Answer: Yes. Not as bad as other dogs, but yes. And if you're worried about the hair, that's not the only mess dogs make, If the first thing on your mind about owning a dog is "does he shed a lot", owning a dog is probably not for you.
  • Is he protective?  Answer: LOL, no. That is not what the golden retriever's job is meant to be. I'm actually okay with this question. It's okay to want to get a dog because you want the dog to a job for you (provided you take good care of it and are prepared to do the training and pay for care.) Most dogs want a job, and if you don't give them one, you will probably see behavior issues. 
  • We lost our [dog name] X months ago... Some people are planning to get another. Some say they can't deal with the loss again. All of them get great comfort from spending a few minutes with Norman.  THIS ONE is another thing that people need to consider before adding a dog into their lives.  You're adding a life into your life, and you're going to think of it as part of your family, and then one day, you're going to lose it.  

Just getting a dog on whim is a terrible idea. 

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13 hours ago, Leeds said:

People who buy/acquire pets they can't afford or properly provide for, and don't prepare for in advance.  This peeve prompted by the following NextDoor post:

"Hi, we just bought our first dog. Does anybody have a crate and/or gate that they are wanting to sell?"

Who on earth is so stupid, thoughtless, clueless, irresponsible, etc., etc., etc?

This makes me angry as well, researching pet $$ needs prior to adoption/purchase is at your fingertips: Google it.

My pet peeve on these NextDoor apps is when the same person is constantly asking for "help" but is really just looking for services provided for free. In my area there was a poster looking for someone to come rake their leaves for a "reasonable price" but then complained about people wanting to get paid to do it. Same person wanted someone to do some handyman tasks inside their home for a "reasonable price" and then after several people offered to help, complained about the quality of the work. 

12 hours ago, GaT said:

Others aren't looking good in photos, others are photoshopping their photos until they don't even look like themselves anymore. Don't trust any photo you see, it's been edited into uncanny valley territory.

Truth. 

1 hour ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

My husband and I don't have pets, and I've had more than one person imply that we're selfish.

No, "selfish "is getting an animal-a living thing- without realizing the expense and responsibility that goes into it. "Selfish" is resenting said animal-a living thing-, ignoring it, and doing the barest minimum in regards to taking care of it. "Selfish" is treating your pet-a living godddamned thing!- like background noise until it dies.

We're not perfect, but we know our limitations, and at least no animal is suffering on our watch. 

Good for you @Wiendish Fitch, not only is pet ownership expensive and time-consuming for a normal pet, but if you get one like my cat who has to take blood pressure medication daily, or a previous cat who was diabetic and needed insulin shots you can be spending a whole lot of money. Our dog (who sadly passed this past spring) had anxiety issues and did not like to be left alone, and would destroy furniture, doors and carpets when he was. Towards the end of his 16 years he began losing his bowels in the house while we were gone. Pet ownership is for life, and for everything that the pet brings with it, good or bad. RESEARCH BEFORE YOU ADOPT. 

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1 hour ago, supposebly said:

Seriously? Is this the new "you don't have children, you are so selfish" thing?

I wonder what people would say to me. I have no children by choice but I spoil my two cats rotten and volunteer at a cat rescue. I might fulfill quite a few stereotypes.

Let's see: selfish for not having children, filling the hole in my heart buy overindulging cats, crazy cat lady....help me, there must be a few more.

I don't have children because I AM selfish.  I don't take offense at this.  I am selfish enough to know that I don't have what it takes mentally to be responsible for children, and I've never really been crazy about children.  So that's NOT selfish in the sense that I am not ruining any children's lives!!!  I do take care of my dog and I help the human race in other ways. 

Edited by EtheltoTillie
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I'm not looking to insult parents (I am one myself), but the accusation of being selfish to not want children is utterly ridiculous.  People don't have children because the world and humanity needs them to have offspring.  People mostly have children for selfish reasons; it's one kind of self-gratification or another or they are giving into societal or family pressure.

It takes a lot of Unselfishness to be a good parent, but the urge to have children is not selfless.

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4 hours ago, Wiendish Fitch said:

My husband and I don't have pets, and I've had more than one person imply that we're selfish.

No, "selfish "is getting an animal-a living thing- without realizing the expense and responsibility that goes into it. "Selfish" is resenting said animal-a living thing-, ignoring it, and doing the barest minimum in regards to taking care of it. "Selfish" is treating your pet-a living godddamned thing!- like background noise until it dies.

We're not perfect, but we know our limitations, and at least no animal is suffering on our watch. 

Ugh, you want to talk about selfish? There were these people and I use the term loosely, who lived on our street when I was a kid who would get a new kitten every year. The "old" kitten wasn't cute any more so they'd just disappear it, god knows where and get a new one. It was sickening.

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4 hours ago, BexKeps said:

My pet peeve on these NextDoor apps is when the same person is constantly asking for "help" but is really just looking for services provided for free. In my area there was a poster looking for someone to come rake their leaves for a "reasonable price" but then complained about people wanting to get paid to do it. Same person wanted someone to do some handyman tasks inside their home for a "reasonable price" and then after several people offered to help, complained about the quality of the work. 

Ugh, yes.  I will never offer a recommendation to some stranger asking for a [something] who charges a "reasonable" price, because they invariably are utterly unreasonable in what they want -- someone cheap, but with oodles of skill and experience.  

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As a photographer my favorite of these "requests" that I often see on the local Ask NYC reddit sub, is "I want to find a photographer who can take a photo for me" but makes it clear they want to pay next to nothing.  This on top of all the people who download other people's photography without credit or permission, because "everything should be free".

I joined Next Door briefly but the ranting I found there was so off putting that I simply canceled and haven't looked back.

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9 minutes ago, roseha said:

As a photographer my favorite of these "requests" that I often see on the local Ask NYC reddit sub, is "I want to find a photographer who can take a photo for me" but makes it clear they want to pay next to nothing.  This on top of all the people who download other people's photography without credit or permission, because "everything should be free".

I joined Next Door briefly but the ranting I found there was so off putting that I simply canceled and haven't looked back.

I joined the one in my dad's neighborhood because I was selling his house and I wanted to get a feel for the general vibe. I left during the summer of 2020 because of the racist anti-BLM crap they were posting.

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4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

I left during the summer of 2020 because of the racist anti-BLM crap they were posting.

The utter saturation of that crap and community moderators' failure to apply the anti-discrimination guidelines and remove it (while, at the same time, improperly removing posts saying Black lives matter) resulted in greater media attention to NextDoor's racism problem (caused by leaving moderation up to volunteer members of the community, who heavily skewed white [among other things]).  That spotlight prompted a much-needed overhaul at ND, so that now reports for discriminatory content go not just to community moderation, but to ND staff as well.  So if local reviewers fail to remove content in violation of the Do Not Discriminate guidelines, ND will (if reported to them; see below).  There was also a push to appoint a large number of new moderators, rather than have a small number in each area, many of them self-selected.

It usually takes about 24 hours for ND to step in if something is hung up in review, and someone has to report it - and specifically using the discrimination reason - in the first place in order to bring it to ND attention.  So, unfortunately, discriminatory content can remain up for a while (or in perpetuity if it doesn't get reported, or if it's reported using Disrespectful instead of Discriminatory and reviewers fail to remove it, because in those cases ND never sees it) and generate additional prohibited responses, so there are still racist dumpster fires, but where that particular report process happens, ND will take that shit down.  And may take additional disciplinary action against the poster(s), depending on the totality of the circumstances. 

Things are a lot better on my feed because of that change.  But I know it's still a big problem in many places, due to the continuing limitations.  I love the recommendations of local businesses/service providers, and when a ND post facilitates a lost pet being reunited, and ND is the only social media platform I use; I'm not on Twitter, Facebook, etc.  But I still roll my eyes with great frequency - especially since they did away with the local-only relevancy requirement that prompted me to sign up in the first place - and regularly re-evaluate whether its usefulness has been outweighed by my aggravation.

Edited by Bastet
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Quote

I wonder what people would say to me. I have no children by choice but I spoil my two cats rotten and volunteer at a cat rescue. I might fulfill quite a few stereotypes.

Let's see: selfish for not having children, filling the hole in my heart by overindulging cats, crazy cat lady....help me, there must be a few more.

I have this same life. 

And to whom do these weirdos think we are being selfish to? Like a hypothetical baby that's just sitting around waiting for me to claim it?

Edited by TattleTeeny
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26 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

I have this same life. 

And to whom do these weirdos think we are being selfish to? Like a hypothetical baby that's just sitting around waiting for me to claim it?

Not necessarily a reply just to tattle, but a general comment on the subject. I can be very excited for my child who has a child and hopes to have another one. And I can be a little relieved when my other children say they don’t want to have a child (or another child) - because omg, what future are those poor kids going to face? But I can’t imagine expressing those thoughts to my actual children, let alone to some random acquaintance. What situations are you in where people are feeling it’s remotely appropriate to tell you you’re selfish for having/not having children/pets?

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I always found it weird, but it used to happen to me during small talk with strangers or acquaintances, and back when I worked in retail! For the record, I have also had near strangers or customers ask if I had an eating disorder because I was pretty skinny (no specific reason, I just was). I still am a little bit on the thin side in a comparative sense, but not like back then, so no one really makes weird remarks about it. But, yeah, people would just ask about whether I had/wanted kids and then some of the people would make that weird judgment if I said no. I have no idea why, in their heads, it seemed normal to do!

Edited by TattleTeeny
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Christmas, Halloween, and Easter are the only times the idea that it might be nice to have children around, but that's for one second of one day each time. I don't like children. I didn't like them when I was a child and nothing I've seen in the decades since has changed my opinion.

Changing topics...I just got a new laptop. I didn't want to but my old one died and I couldn't live with just a kindle. The peeve is setting it up. Thank god for Firefox and Lastpass.

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On 12/14/2022 at 10:04 AM, Wiendish Fitch said:

My husband and I don't have pets, and I've had more than one person imply that we're selfish.

No, "selfish "is getting an animal-a living thing- without realizing the expense and responsibility that goes into it. "Selfish" is resenting said animal-a living thing-, ignoring it, and doing the barest minimum in regards to taking care of it. "Selfish" is treating your pet-a living godddamned thing!- like background noise until it dies.

We're not perfect, but we know our limitations, and at least no animal is suffering on our watch. 

I agree. It's also hard when things get worse financially, and you already have pets. Things happen that you can't always plan for. We put our all into looking after ours. 

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On 12/16/2022 at 10:00 AM, ABay said:

Christmas, Halloween, and Easter are the only times the idea that it might be nice to have children around, but that's for one second of one day each time. I don't like children. I didn't like them when I was a child and nothing I've seen in the decades since has changed my opinion.

Changing topics...I just got a new laptop. I didn't want to but my old one died and I couldn't live with just a kindle. The peeve is setting it up. Thank god for Firefox and Lastpass.

I have a Dropbox account and save EVERYTHING there.  I tried transferring files from my old Macbook to my new one, but it caused A LOT of issues (including my downloads folder disappearing after I upgraded the OS), so I had to start over.  Without a need to worry about missing files/docs.

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On 12/16/2022 at 3:39 PM, Anela said:

It's also hard when things get worse financially, and you already have pets.

I'm sure this is happening everywhere but our local humane society recently had an article in the paper about how many pets have been turned in to them because their owners can no longer afford to feed or care for them.  Especially those pets that have developed medical issues.  I'm sure in some cases this is people who just don't want to afford a pet anymore but in most cases it's not selfishness it's cold hard fiscal reality.  I was surprised to note that it's not only cats and dogs that are being turned in, rabbits, guinea pigs etc are also finding their way to the humane society.

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28 minutes ago, Elizabeth Anne said:

I'm sure this is happening everywhere but our local humane society recently had an article in the paper about how many pets have been turned in to them because their owners can no longer afford to feed or care for them.  Especially those pets that have developed medical issues.  I'm sure in some cases this is people who just don't want to afford a pet anymore but in most cases it's not selfishness it's cold hard fiscal reality.  I was surprised to note that it's not only cats and dogs that are being turned in, rabbits, guinea pigs etc are also finding their way to the humane society.

My eyes got a bit teary thinking of these sad, bewildered pets. Our beloved Maine Coon mix was given to our local, excellent shelter by someone who could no longer care for her. We came along, (one year after losing a 20 year old MC mix), and immediately loved this 7 year old, goofy & gorgeous piece of work. She's now 12 & has had us laughing/grinning every day since. I highly recommend adopting from a shelter😻.

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45 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

My eyes got a bit teary thinking of these sad, bewildered pets. Our beloved Maine Coon mix was given to our local, excellent shelter by someone who could no longer care for her. We came along, (one year after losing a 20 year old MC mix), and immediately loved this 7 year old, goofy & gorgeous piece of work. She's now 12 & has had us laughing/grinning every day since. I highly recommend adopting from a shelter😻.

All of our cats have been either shelter cats or just strays that wandered in and stayed. We've loved them all.

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Our county shelter often solicits donations of food to distribute to those in the community having difficulty feeding their pets.  If anyone is in need, perhaps your local shelter is doing the same, especially if your pet was adopted from them, though I don't think that's a requirement.

They would rather help with food than have to intake another pet.

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The food pantry at which I work generally always has bags of dry dog and cat food on hand to give out to anyone who asks (people will donate a big 10 or 20 lb. bag and we just split it up into portions of about 3 days meals per pet). We also usually have various little cans of wet cat food (like Fancy Feast) - if you are a cat person like me you know you try new flavors from time and time and its nope...not eating that! So any other cans of that type I bring to the pantry. Cats are very, very individual in their pickiness :)

We've had lots of people come by that are living in their cars with a pet. When you donate to your local food bank or pantry think about offering pet food if you can and they take it!

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On 12/14/2022 at 6:23 PM, Bastet said:

The utter saturation of that crap and community moderators' failure to apply the anti-discrimination guidelines and remove it (while, at the same time, improperly removing posts saying Black lives matter) resulted in greater media attention to NextDoor's racism problem (caused by leaving moderation up to volunteer members of the community, who heavily skewed white [among other things]).  That spotlight prompted a much-needed overhaul at ND, so that now reports for discriminatory content go not just to community moderation, but to ND staff as well.  So if local reviewers fail to remove content in violation of the Do Not Discriminate guidelines, ND will (if reported to them; see below).  There was also a push to appoint a large number of new moderators, rather than have a small number in each area, many of them self-selected.

It usually takes about 24 hours for ND to step in if something is hung up in review, and someone has to report it - and specifically using the discrimination reason - in the first place in order to bring it to ND attention.  So, unfortunately, discriminatory content can remain up for a while (or in perpetuity if it doesn't get reported, or if it's reported using Disrespectful instead of Discriminatory and reviewers fail to remove it, because in those cases ND never sees it) and generate additional prohibited responses, so there are still racist dumpster fires, but where that particular report process happens, ND will take that shit down.  And may take additional disciplinary action against the poster(s), depending on the totality of the circumstances. 

Things are a lot better on my feed because of that change.  But I know it's still a big problem in many places, due to the continuing limitations.  I love the recommendations of local businesses/service providers, and when a ND post facilitates a lost pet being reunited, and ND is the only social media platform I use; I'm not on Twitter, Facebook, etc.  But I still roll my eyes with great frequency - especially since they did away with the local-only relevancy requirement that prompted me to sign up in the first place - and regularly re-evaluate whether its usefulness has been outweighed by my aggravation.

I live in the South so that racist, disrespectful and sexist content is provided in a plentiful supply sadly. So many white men on there (I know this because of their profile pics) especially the older ones pulling out the "Karen" insult if they think any woman has overshared any negative opinion especially if it's about another man who might advertise services on ND like handymen, mechanics and the like.

They can start off being nice to the women and sympathizing at first. If the man being talked about appears to rebut whatever was said those same originally seemingly "nice guys" will do complete 180's and turn into their true form of sexist asshats. One guy who was loving calling a fellow member a "Karen" in multiple replies said she was like his "Karen" ex-wife.

Then there are the racists who ASSume that any crime related post is about minorities and when proven wrong they never ever apologize. To go along with the assumptions they go on about all that other stuff I can't specifically mention here. I'm sure a lot of you can probably guess what they stuff is since they are all posters in the Deep South.

I've gone out of my way to find ways to contact ND directly over the years even if it was hard to do so through their site after giving the leads and whoever else locally a few days to remove the offensive content I originally reported. Calling a lot of it dumpster fire material is putting it nicely. 

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2 hours ago, Quof said:

1. Why in the Hell is my Instagram feed filled with "suggested for you" posts this morning?  dozens and dozens of them, and 2. how do I make it stop besides clicking on each one of them.  

Ugh!  And what’s the deal with Instagram disabling my ability to share posts over several accounts I run at the time form SOME of my accounts but not others?  It’s been ongoing for two months or so.  

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10 hours ago, Jaded said:

I've gone out of my way to find ways to contact ND directly over the years even if it was hard to do so through their site after giving the leads and whoever else locally a few days to remove the offensive content I originally reported.

Here, "Karen" gets reported by the automated reporter, and removed by community moderation, so it doesn't stay up for long. 

If you report something that doesn't get removed in a timely fashion, or if it's something utterly egregious, you can take the second step of reporting the poster (pull up their profile by clicking on their name, then click on the "..." button, and choose Report from the menu that drops down) -- choose posting problematic content and say "please review recently reported content".  There's an email address for ND floating around out there somewhere, but as I understand it they don't check that.  And using the "Contact Us" form is said to be very hit and miss as to whether they do anything.  But reporting the poster seems to work.

(And, as I said before, if it's discriminatory content, be sure to report it using the Discrimination reason [not Disrespectful], because then it will automatically go to ND staff as well as community moderators.  Staff is trained on the guidelines, moderators are totally voluntary [and, all too often, totally awful - they just vote based on whether they agree or disagree with the viewpoint, never mind if the way it's expressed is prohibited].  Unfortunately, ND has not hired anywhere near the number of people needed, so I'm sure in an area with a shit ton of prohibited posts that local moderators don't remove, staff review takes a while.)

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Today's PP - CIOS / Chronic Inherited Overthink Syndrome (not a thing)

Manifesting today by me wanting to take down the outside Christmas decorations in advance of the coming snow storm, predicted to arrive 3 days before Christmas. Keep thinking they'll get welded to the ground by snow/ice, lol

It's a curse I tell ya.

Edited by SuprSuprElevated
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ARGH! The new laptop is very good overall BUT suddenly everything I print is faded. There is plenty of ink and everything printed correctly on the old laptop. I made no adjustments on the old one and both run Windows 11. Canon's manual is useless to me--I need a human to walk me through WTF is going on. So fucking frustrated right now.

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12 minutes ago, ABay said:

ARGH! The new laptop is very good overall BUT suddenly everything I print is faded. There is plenty of ink and everything printed correctly on the old laptop. I made no adjustments on the old one and both run Windows 11. Canon's manual is useless to me--I need a human to walk me through WTF is going on. So fucking frustrated right now.

I don’t pretend to be customer support, but maybe remove and reinstall the printer on the new pc? Check your printer settings to see if it’s defaulting to draft mode or gray scale? Or color vs black & white?

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On 12/13/2022 at 2:47 PM, Leeds said:

I had the opposite problem -- when I was younger and people used to sit around looking through (actual physical) photo albums together, I would get a lot of surprised, "Wow, you look great!" comments.  As in, in real life you're not that attractive.  A true back-handed compliment!   😢

I feel you there: I don’t boast all that many talents, but I do seem to have an awesome talent for making a damned good picture. Somehow upon reaching adulthood I’d figured out my best angles/poses and have grown to be ridiculously photogenic.
Unfortunately, it’s to the point that I’ve had people do double-takes and “joke” that I don’t look like that in real life, or that I’m a secret Photoshop mastermind. It was an oddly fun problem to have years ago in my modeling days, not so much anymore! 

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38 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

Okay, this is hot garbage.

They say they're not done yet. There are missing features that I use regularly. Scrolling to the top every time I want to get to my shows is a giant time waster and general PITA. A check in the Bugs forum revealed that stuff is missing, it will take time to fix, yadda yadda yadda. 

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1 hour ago, annzeepark914 said:

I knew something like this would happen. Whenever a site is being worked on, the next day it's a mess. I hope TPTB will restore Primetimer to its original format. I can't find MSNBC or CNN. I loved this forum 😟.

It's under Other TV Talk HERE. the subtopic of Network Talk was moved under that umbrella. It's also where the Commercials topic can be found.

I love it because all those gifs and unnecessary information that took up space in the right margin is gone.

Edited by GHScorpiosRule
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52 minutes ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

It's under Other TV Talk HERE. the subtopic of Network Talk was moved under that umbrella. It's also where the Commercials topic can be found.

I love it because all those gifs and unnecessary information that took up space in the right margin is gone.

I just want to know how to get back midnight mode.

Message added by Mod-Tigerkatze,

Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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