Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[SusanM]

24 minutes ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Speaking of haircut peeves, I dislike when women with EXTREMELY long hair get like two inches trimmed off and then ask for praise for "chopping their hair off." It's like um I can barely notice tbh.

My SIL was a hairdresser for a few years and she said what she got tired of was women with medium length hair getting their hair cut short and going on and on about how brave they were being and how shocked everyone would be with their new look because their hair had been "soooo long".  She alway smiled and played along because, really, who were they hurting but she said it made her think of people expecting praise for their courage in getting two stitches in their finger when the guy beside them had just had open heart surgery.

Edited March 24, 2022 by SusannahM

[Calvada]

I agree with the peeve about annoying texts.  I had routine blood work done recently and I got a series of texts telling me test results were available - a different message for each. One for the basic metabolic panel, one for lipids, one for hemoglobin, and on and on.  I think I got at least 7 messages just for the blood work.  When they sent me a text at 5:45 am, I said enough.  I spent 10 minutes on my chart online, but I finally found the notification preferences settings (buried of course) and I stopped text messages.  Send me an email, that's fine, but don't text me.  Recently my primary credit card started texting to tell me when my statement was available, to tell me that I had scheduled a payment, to tell me that payment was due in 3 days (yes, I know!  I scheduled a payment, remember?), and to tell me that the payment had been made.  I didn't ask for these texts, they just started up.  I sent the STOP message and I got another text, asking me if I was sure I wanted to stop the texts.  AARGH!!

[JustHereForFood]

Change to the Summer time 😠.

Whyyyyy???? God, WHYYYYYYY????!!!!!

[JTMacc99]

19 hours ago, SusannahM said:

My SIL was a hairdresser for a few years and she said what she got tired of was women with medium length hair getting their hair cut short and going on and on about how brave they were being and how shocked everyone would be with their new look because their hair had been "soooo long". She always smiled and played along because, really, who were they hurting but she said it made her think of people expecting praise for their courage in getting two stitches in their finger when the guy beside them had just had open heart surgery.

Hair and specifically new haircuts, colors, and so on generates a LOT of emotion. It's a rare person who hasn't at some point in their life absolutely HATED their hair. So it doesn't shock me to hear that your SIL had customers making a really big deal out of something as simple as changing to a shorter cut. 

People don't like change, especially when it comes to their hair.

(Note: This is not the case for 2 of the 3 members of the Macc house. My son just wants his hair to look the same but not in his eyes. My daughter is making her way through the colors of the rainbow, and I just tell our rock star of a stylist to "do what you want" when I sit in the chair.)

[SusanM]

Our neighbour just got a yippy little dog.  Cute as a button but yippy.  Sigh.  Hopefully he'll settle down soon.  At least I only hear him when he's outside - we used to live in a townhouse and I think that shrill little bark would definitely have gone through the walls!

[bilgistic]

Our car insurance has gone up $130 over the upcoming six-month period. I just switched us to this particular carrier a year ago, so I couldn't find better rates. Is this happening across the board? Are insurers like, "Remember that discount we gave you when you weren't driving so much two years ago? We want it back now."

[Anela]

I have been playing a video game, when I'm awake with my dog (not all the time, but I am tonight). I've just played with the most adorable kid, but there were two adult men who, at first, treated him like crap - he's FOUR - and then started being nice when I spoke. They also didn't acknowledge me at all, just spoke to each other. I got half of the eliminations, and it sucks when people are sexist. They added each other, to play again. I played again with the little kid. They were adults.

Edited March 26, 2022 by Anela

[Leeds]

14 hours ago, Anela said:

I have been playing a video game, when I'm awake with my dog (not all the time, but I am tonight). I've just played with the most adorable kid, but there were two adult men who, at first, treated him like crap - he's FOUR - and then started being nice when I spoke. They also didn't acknowledge me at all, just spoke to each other. I got half of the eliminations, and it sucks when people are sexist. They added each other, to play again. I played again with the little kid. They were adults.

I have to say, your post makes me nervous.  I'm hoping the four-year-old "adorable kid" is actually a sixty-year-old living in his mother's basement.  Cyber stalking is real.  If he is a four-year-old kid, adorable or otherwise, where are his parents/care-givers in all this?

[SusanM]

So peeve of the day, people who can't accept they might be misinformed.  I can never resist donning my reference librarian hat on FB so when someone posts something that sounds iffy I almost always research it.   Yesterday someone reposted (so not original to her) a long list of "reasons I won't shop at this store again" stuff that was all about how products they sold had once been made in Canada or the US but "they closed the plants".  Some of the cites were true, most weren't.  Instead of saying anything online I sent her a friendly PM saying the article wasn't very accurate...and am now blocked.  

Edited March 26, 2022 by SusannahM

[peacheslatour]

40 minutes ago, SusannahM said:

So peeve of the day, people who can't accept they might be misinformed.  I can never resist donning my reference librarian hat on FB so when someone posts something that sounds iffy I almost always research it.   Yesterday someone reposted (so not original to her) a long list of "reasons I won't shop at this store again" stuff that was all about how products they sold had once been made in Canada or the US but "they closed the plants".  Some of the cites were true, most weren't.  Instead of saying anything online I sent her a friendly PM saying the article wasn't very accurate...and am now blocked.  

So typical.

[PRgal]

4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

So typical.

Lol.  Someone I knew in high school is, I think, an anti-masker and anti-vax.  A year ago, she responded to my post about refusing to shop at a store where the delivery person (not third party) didn’t wear a mask when they delivered my order, according to my building’s concierge. The woman said something along the lines of “what if that person had a legit reason not to wear one?” Then maybe that person should have taken a different job….. anyway, can’t deal with the woman.  She has also criticized me for openly speaking about my issues regarding my beliefs.  She told me I should feel I could do anything and ignore the critics.  Yeah, not when those critics are toxic and making everything mentally exhausting for you. 

[JustHereForFood]

19 hours ago, SusannahM said:

So peeve of the day, people who can't accept they might be misinformed.  I can never resist donning my reference librarian hat on FB so when someone posts something that sounds iffy I almost always research it.   Yesterday someone reposted (so not original to her) a long list of "reasons I won't shop at this store again" stuff that was all about how products they sold had once been made in Canada or the US but "they closed the plants".  Some of the cites were true, most weren't.  Instead of saying anything online I sent her a friendly PM saying the article wasn't very accurate...and am now blocked.  

FB is the bane of human existence. All sorts of misinformation spreads like fire there, it's almost impossible to get it blocked and people who otherwise might not fall for all of that BS (for example if they were told it by someone face to face, they could see better how pathetic those trolls are) get access to it and many are unable to judge it for themselves. It doesn't just destroy human relationships, polarizes the society, it has undoubtedly killed many people during the pandemic and might cause a lot more damage going forward. I hope some steps will be eventually taken on a global scale, but I doubt it will be enough and on time. 

 

[PRgal]

46 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

FB is the bane of human existence. All sorts of misinformation spreads like fire there, it's almost impossible to get it blocked and people who otherwise might not fall for all of that BS (for example if they were told it by someone face to face, they could see better how pathetic those trolls are) get access to it and many are unable to judge it for themselves. It doesn't just destroy human relationships, polarizes the society, it has undoubtedly killed many people during the pandemic and might cause a lot more damage going forward. I hope some steps will be eventually taken on a global scale, but I doubt it will be enough and on time. 

 

I was shamed/Karened by a diversity and inclusion group for bringing up language challenges some communities face.  I was also Karened for mentioning that diversity issues are different here in Canada vs the US due to our demographics. So yeah, that's what happens on social.  Even though I've muted the group since, I feel that those few weeks I participated in the group has made my mental health worse.  

 

Apologies to girls/women named Karen.

[peacheslatour]

1 hour ago, JustHereForFood said:

FB is the bane of human existence. All sorts of misinformation spreads like fire there, it's almost impossible to get it blocked and people who otherwise might not fall for all of that BS (for example if they were told it by someone face to face, they could see better how pathetic those trolls are) get access to it and many are unable to judge it for themselves. It doesn't just destroy human relationships, polarizes the society, it has undoubtedly killed many people during the pandemic and might cause a lot more damage going forward. I hope some steps will be eventually taken on a global scale, but I doubt it will be enough and on time. 

 

Facebook. Not even once.

[Cloud9Shopper]

I got rid of Facebook in January 2021 and don’t miss it. I may go back on but narrow my friends list and likes only to people/pages I really care about keeping up with, like my church, close friends and family, and a couple favorite sports teams or charities. Everything else is just noise. 

[supposebly]

I don't have bad experiences with Facebook. I use it for work, colleagues, former students, and a hiking group. As soon as things go bad with someone, they get blocked. Why bother reading stuff you don't want to read or interact with? I blocked one person the moment they started spouting some anti-vaxx idiocies.  And another who I just don't like very much. Both were in my FB list because of people I'm actually friends with.

FB has made some of my work easier. And it seems none of my FB friends use FB to spread dodgy links.

[RealHousewife]

Single women being seen as threatening. 

I find it’s a tricky balance being friendly enough so men don’t see you as standoffish, and and not so friendly women see you as a threat. 

 

[Gramto6]

4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Facebook. Not even once.

Nope, no Facebook here ever either. Never will be.

[peacheslatour]

39 minutes ago, RealHousewife said:

Single women being seen as threatening. 

I find it’s a tricky balance being friendly enough so men don’t see you as standoffish, and and not so friendly women see you as a threat. 

 

Who cares if men see you as standoffish? Fuck 'em.

[DrSpaceman73]

Yes if you use Facebook you have to control to make or work for you, meaning not using it to argue with idiots about politics and stupid shit.  

I have groups I'm in I enjoy amd people to stay connected with.  Minimize politics, block annoying people

[Bastet]

6 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

All sorts of misinformation spreads like fire there,

An MIT study found misinformation spreads significantly faster than accurate news on Twitter (even after taking bots out of the re-tweeting equation):

Quote

The study provides a variety of ways of quantifying this phenomenon: For instance,  false news stories are 70 percent more likely to be retweeted than true stories are. It also takes true stories about six times as long to reach 1,500 people as it does for false stories to reach the same number of people. When it comes to Twitter’s “cascades,” or unbroken retweet chains, falsehoods reach a cascade depth of 10 about 20 times faster than facts. And falsehoods are retweeted by unique users more broadly than true statements at every depth of cascade.

It was very late, so I fell asleep not too far into it and have to finish, but the documentary The Social Dilemma solidified my longstanding decision not to use social media.

[SoMuchTV]

At least with Facebook (and Reddit, Twitter, some others) you can get some idea of what they’re like without setting up an account. My peeve is Nextdoor. I occasionally get invitations to join, but it appears that you can’t see anything at all without setting up an account (including your address).

Since I’ve gotten a somewhat negative impression of it from things I’ve read (like, if folks start bickering on our neighborhood Facebook group, something will tell them to take that stuff back to Nextdoor, among other things), I’m not taking the chance on signing up sight unseen. It could be the most useful platform ever, but they’re not selling me on it. 

[PRgal]

I really only have a couple of reasons to even BE on social.  One is to promote my podcast and the other is to find recipes (okay, I find out about store openings and back when I was blogging for a living, to promote posts and to learn of potential opportunities (usually store openings) since I often get junk from PR companies).

[JustHereForFood]

7 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Facebook. Not even once.

I'm also not there, but I occasionally take a look at some public profiles, because many institutions and sadly also polititians now use it as their main communication method. And I often read/hear scary stories about what some people with unbelievably large numbers of followers post. My concern is not some individual spats, but tons of misinformation that gets shared there and one of the problems is that it is free, while most of serious media is not, so many people favor getting their news there. 

[peacheslatour]

15 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

I'm also not there, but I occasionally take a look at some public profiles, because many institutions and sadly also polititians now use it as their main communication method. And I often read/hear scary stories about what some people with unbelievably large numbers of followers post. My concern is not some individual spats, but tons of misinformation that gets shared there and one of the problems is that it is free, while most of serious media is not, so many people favor getting their news there. 

Agreed. It's bad for many reasons. This is one of them.

Edited March 28, 2022 by peacheslatour

[HissyFit]

4 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Who cares if men see you as standoffish? Fuck 'em.

Yeah, fuck 'em.  That will cure a standoffish image.

(Sorry. Being silly.)

[Anela]

4 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

At least with Facebook (and Reddit, Twitter, some others) you can get some idea of what they’re like without setting up an account. My peeve is Nextdoor. I occasionally get invitations to join, but it appears that you can’t see anything at all without setting up an account (including your address).

Since I’ve gotten a somewhat negative impression of it from things I’ve read (like, if folks start bickering on our neighborhood Facebook group, something will tell them to take that stuff back to Nextdoor, among other things), I’m not taking the chance on signing up sight unseen. It could be the most useful platform ever, but they’re not selling me on it. 

I keep next-door, just in case one of my pets goes missing. I can't believe I used to be so naive, as to think that people would be really friendly online. LMAO.

I snooze most groups, because I live in an area where some people insist on telling others they should "take care of it themselves" nudge-nudge, wink-wink. Someone's dog was a problem on your walk? Just take care of it yourself. That was one from last Summer. Teenagers robbing gas stations? Take care of it yourself. A few people actually said that they were already bad, they would never be better, so someone should take care of them themselves. I couldn't believe what I was seeing, and took screenshots, just in case. Whenever I read anything like that, I need to touch grass, as everyone's saying now, and remind myself that they should be in the extreme minority. 

I do wish that over the last two years especially, I had just shut everything down, except instagram (maybe). I wish I'd just had really long epsom salt baths, since I had nowhere to be. Just planted myself outside, reading or napping, because for once, I had every excuse in the world to do so. But, no, I was too stressed, and dealing with friends who were pushing conspiracy theories. Not smart. 

[Gramto6]

The only social media I participate in is here and a diabetes forum I moderate (we have lost 3 members to death recently and it is a safe haven for me at this point). I was on Twitter but haven't visited there in more than a year. It just seems so ugly out there I don't need that in my life at this point in time.

[JustHereForFood]

5 hours ago, Gramto6 said:

The only social media I participate in is here and a diabetes forum I moderate (we have lost 3 members to death recently and it is a safe haven for me at this point). I was on Twitter but haven't visited there in more than a year. It just seems so ugly out there I don't need that in my life at this point in time.

Sorry for the loss in your community.

[Cloud9Shopper]

Bad advice givers, especially because I’m job searching right now and can get 10 opinions from 10 people on all the things I’m doing wrong. (Job search advice tends to be bad a lot for some reason.) 

I have been looking for about seven months now and I DMed someone (on a different platform) the other day telling them about my situation and seeing if they had suggestions. I told the person that my employer isn’t guaranteeing me the job I want within my company although they are interested in my professional development. Their response was “ask your boss if you can make a lateral move.” What good is that going to do if they’ve already said there are no promises? It’ll just make me look like I ignored what they told me and that I think I’m an exception. (Also, my department is in a hiring freeze, so nobody—internally or externally—is getting the job I want right now and may not for another few months if they decide to hire again.)

Also, before I had an interview last week, someone sent me an article on “how to answer tell me about yourself in an interview.” I’m in my 30s and have been working for many years now. I’m pretty sure I know how to answer the question and I’m not some cavewoman with no social skills.

It’s just…people who assume you’re stupid and don’t pay attention to your situation that gets me. I also think a lot of job hunting advice ignores the fact that job seekers can do things to improve their chances and application materials, but ultimately, there are also a lot factors they don’t control. 

 

Edited March 28, 2022 by Cloud9Shopper

[Katy M]

1 hour ago, Cloud9Shopper said:

I have been looking for about seven months now and I DMed someone (on a different platform) the other day telling them about my situation and seeing if they had suggestions. I told the person that my employer isn’t guaranteeing me the job I want within my company although they are interested in my professional development. Their response was “ask your boss if you can make a lateral move.” What good is that going to do if they’ve already said there are no promises? It’ll just make me look like I ignored what they told me and that I think I’m an exception. (Also, my department is in a hiring freeze, so nobody—internally or externally—is getting the job I want right now and may not for another few months if they decide to hire again.)

I don't know if there was more to the conversation then you're relaying (and that's fine), but if you literally jsut said that your employer wasn't guaranteeing you the job that you want, with no further information, asking if you could ask about a different position doesn't seem all that insane.  Again you have more information than I do, both about the relevant conversation, and what was going on in your job, which you do provide later.  It's just not clear if you said any of that prior to the "bad advice."

[SusanM]

A lot of the discussion on what happened between Will Smith and Chris Rock at the Oscars is pinging my pet peeve meter.  This attitude that you have to choose sides.  Why do some people have to make everything a good guy vs bad guy thing?  Sometimes both people are jerks and both behaved badly.  There may be degrees of badness but one stepping further over the line doesn't excuse the behavior of the other person!  I've got a few friends on FB right now picking sides and it's gotten so childish!

[RealHousewife]

When you can only watch a show on Bravo but it constantly freezes and restarts. 

[Lady Whistleup]

Speaking of FB, my peeve is people who are constantly posting these kindness/empathy memes but who are actually mean in real life.

Like ... maybe the memes are aspirational. But I don't think so. I think the people have just deluded themselves into thinking they embody kindness/compassion/empathy.

[SuprSuprElevated]

10 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Speaking of FB, my peeve is people who are constantly posting these kindness/empathy memes but who are actually mean in real life.

Like ... maybe the memes are aspirational. But I don't think so. I think the people have just deluded themselves into thinking they embody kindness/compassion/empathy.

I see that irony daily.  I would prefer folks keep their inspirational/instructional bs to themselves.  Take care of your house, I'll take care of mine.

Those that could most benefit from the message are the least likely to consider them anyway.

[Nicmar]

On 3/11/2022 at 6:47 PM, Annber03 said:

YES. Also people using the wrong version of "pique/peek/peak". 

I've also seen people use "waste" when they mean "waist", which gives a lot of sentences a whole new meaning. 

or mute for moot lol

[peacheslatour]

2 minutes ago, Nicmar said:

or mute for moot lol

[RealHousewife]

13 hours ago, Lady Whistleup said:

Speaking of FB, my peeve is people who are constantly posting these kindness/empathy memes but who are actually mean in real life.

Like ... maybe the memes are aspirational. But I don't think so. I think the people have just deluded themselves into thinking they embody kindness/compassion/empathy.

YES! I don't use Facebook myself, but my family and friends always tell me how it's the most nasty people posting about kindness all the time. 

[MargeGunderson]

People who IM me to tell me they are sending me an email. I don’t even know where to start with that. 

[SoMuchTV]

1 hour ago, MargeGunderson said:

People who IM me to tell me they are sending me an email. I don’t even know where to start with that. 

LOL.  Sometimes I have to text my kids to let them know I'm sending them an email.  And don't get me started on S/DIL who don't check their (physical) mailbox every day, even though it's right there at the edge of their driveway!

[Bastet]

1 hour ago, MargeGunderson said:

People who IM me to tell me they are sending me an email. I don’t even know where to start with that. 

Mine is people who reply to a public post to say they sent someone a private message.  This happens on Nextdoor a lot.  The whole point of the OP's request to reply by PM was to avoid cluttering everyone's feed with something that is only relevant to the OP and the person replying.  And then someone goes ahead and clutters up everyone's feed with "I sent you a PM".  Thousands of people do not need to know you just sent your neighbor a message.

[MargeGunderson]

1 hour ago, SoMuchTV said:

LOL.  Sometimes I have to text my kids to let them know I'm sending them an email.  And don't get me started on S/DIL who don't check their (physical) mailbox every day, even though it's right there at the edge of their driveway!

The first one I get, maybe they don’t check their email regularly so you need to give them a heads up, right? But at work, where the assumption is that people are checking their email multiple times a day, why? BTW, today’s offender hasn’t even sent me the damn email yet. 

[Bastet]

16 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

The first one I get, maybe they don’t check their email regularly so you need to give them a heads up, right?

I agree that's different than your work situation.  And that's what I have to do with my best friend if it's something time sensitive.  I don't text (because I don't have a smart phone; I keep my cell phone in the car, so the most I ever peck out as a text is "just leaving now" if I need to let someone know I'll be late), I email.  She checks her email far less frequently than her texts, so sometimes I have to send a "Check your email today" text, because otherwise it could be days before she sees it.

[Calvada]

My former boss used to send an emails requesting something and then he would call to let me know he sent an email and tell me what the email said.  Or worse, he would send the email, then walk to my office to tell me he had just emailed me asking for some information.  And he never trusted anyone, so if he asked me a question, he would then reach out to someone else in the office or to a regional office with the same question.  At first, I thought he had a problem with just me, because of course my co-workers or someone in the regional office would let me know he was asking a question about something to do with my area, a question that he had already posed to me and that I had answered.  But we all quickly realized he was doing this to everyone.  

[MargeGunderson]

1 minute ago, Calvada said:

My former boss used to send an emails requesting something and then he would call to let me know he sent an email and tell me what the email said.  Or worse, he would send the email, then walk to my office to tell me he had just emailed me asking for some information.  And he never trusted anyone, so if he asked me a question, he would then reach out to someone else in the office or to a regional office with the same question.  At first, I thought he had a problem with just me, because of course my co-workers or someone in the regional office would let me know he was asking a question about something to do with my area, a question that he had already posed to me and that I had answered.  But we all quickly realized he was doing this to everyone.  

Was he a bit of a control freak?

[Calvada]

He did the call or visit after an email because he had an 85 year old person's distrust of this new fangled technology we call electronic mail.  He was in his early 40s at the time.  He did the check on our answers because he was incredibly paranoid; he thought we were lying to him to embarrass him.  

He was the worst boss/supervisor I've ever had in more than 40 years of working. 

[theredhead77]

22 hours ago, SoMuchTV said:

And don't get me started on S/DIL who don't check their (physical) mailbox every day, even though it's right there at the edge of their driveway!

I check my mailbox once a week unless USPS Informed Delivery says something important is coming. Even if I didn't have the Informed Delivery emails I'd still check it once a week. My old apartment in CA had a mailslot right into the house and I looked in that basket once a week, too. If I didn't have a secure mailbox I'd probably collect the mail daily but I can't say I'd look at the stack more than once a week. I just don't get anything important in the mail.

[SusanM]

I check the snail mail once a week and my email not much more often than that.  But I am more in touch with the people I want to be in touch with now than ever before.  I had to laugh, well smile a bit anyway, when I last saw the movie You've Got Mail.  Who knew how dated that movie would become in such a short time!  

[peacheslatour]

2 hours ago, SusanM said:

I check the snail mail once a week and my email not much more often than that.  But I am more in touch with the people I want to be in touch with now than ever before.  I had to laugh, well smile a bit anyway, when I last saw the movie You've Got Mail.  Who knew how dated that movie would become in such a short time!  

Ugh. That's one of my DH's favorite movies. I can't stand it. A happy ending? Are you kidding me? She gives up her mother's darling book shop  so she can go bend knee in some faceless corporate dept/box store. Really?

[SusanM]

20 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

She gives up her mother's darling book shop  so she can go bend knee in some faceless corporate dept/box store. Really?

I thought she started writing children's books?  Even so though I agree with you, I didn't like the way they ended up giving a positive spin to having her store devoured by Fox books!