Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Wings]

5 minutes ago, Katy M said:

So, just to clarify, you are OK with being called madam, but not the contraction?

Yes, absolutely.  Either that or chickie.  :^) 

Edited October 4, 2017 by wings707

[SoSueMe]

Ma'am doesn't bother me. I did have someone who worked at a different division in the company (different state too) call me "punkin" on the phone. Still not sure how I feel about that. He did sound kind of grandfatherly I guess.

[MrSmith]

3 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Ok. You get a pass lol. Thought they were desk neighbors or people that you worked next to/near to. 

Oh, no. I'm know my desk neighbors pretty well. I would wish them happy birthday. Come to think of it, I have shared with them that's it's my birthday last year.

[backformore]

Ok, I read that story about the woman removed form the flight because of her allergy.  Yeah, she did it to herself.   The minute she said her allergy was "life threatening,"  the airline had no choice but to remove her.  she said "Life threatening", which means she could DIE if on the same plane as dogs.   Yeah, then you have to leave.  

[backformore]

On the topic of women being called "girls"- it totally depends on the context.   If the men are being called MEN, and the women "girls", that is offensive.  if it's girls and guys, then it's not so bad.  I certainly go out with "the girls"  when I go out with friends, even though most of us are old enough to have grandkids. 

There was a time, as the older folks here might recall, when businesses hired men in executive positions, and women were the "office girls", even if both had the exact same qualifications.   a female assistant, a receptionist, a secretary, they were all called "girls"  or "gals", and they were seen as interchangeable. We kind of take for granted that women can be doctors now.  But I remember my parents refusing to see a female doctor, because she couldn't possibly know as much as a man.  At a doctor's office, the men were the doctors, and all female techs, nurses, receptionists, medical records clerks, were "the girls."   So "girl"  became the job description.   "Girl"  meant - the female person who will do the work that is beneath men.  Answer the phone, make the coffee, run errands, show cleavage, all part of the job of being a "girl".  

Yeah, back in the day,  you looked for jobs by searching the "Help Wanted"  section in the newspaper, which was divided into categories, Help wanted - MEN, and Help Wanted - WOMEN.  because it wasn't seen as wrong to have different jobs (and salaries)  depending on your gender.   One of my first jobs, the orientation included knowing that the MEN were the dispatchers, who had their own desks, and the "girls"  answered the phones.  They didn't call the jobs "dispatch"  and "phone clerk", the jobs were "Men"  and "girls".   One woman actually asked to be promoted to a dispatch position, and she was ridiculed for it.  

Edited October 4, 2017 by backformore

[bilgistic]

1 hour ago, Bastet said:

While the person using it might not have these intentions, "ma'am" has a history of ageism.  Like the sexist nonsense where men just got to be "Mister," but women were "Miss" until they got married, and then they were "Mrs," men were simply "Sir," while women were either "Miss" or "Ma'am" depending on their age.

And how about "master" for a young, rich boy? BARF, not to mention the sociopolitical/economic aspect of it.

I got an invitation to my male cousin's wedding 10 to 15 years ago. It was addressed to "Miss Bilgistic". I'm four years older than he is and would've been around 30 at the time. I sure as hell wasn't a "Miss" regardless of whether or not I had been married (I hadn't...still haven't). "Ms." is perfectly acceptable for an unmarried (or married!) woman. This isn't 1960.

[Katy M]

21 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I got an invitation to my male cousin's wedding 10 to 15 years ago. It was addressed to "Miss Bilgistic". I'm four years older than he is and would've been around 30 at the time. I sure as hell wasn't a "Miss" regardless of whether or not I had been married (I hadn't...still haven't). "Ms." is perfectly acceptable for an unmarried (or married!) woman. This isn't 1960.

I think the problem is that every single woman has a different preference.  I cringe to the nth degree if someone calls me Ms.  I'm not married.  Miss is fine.  I actually kind of feel sorry for men on this topic because via this conversation we have proven that they are not going to please everyone.

[StatisticalOutlier]

24 minutes ago, bilgistic said:

I got an invitation to my male cousin's wedding 10 to 15 years ago. It was addressed to "Miss Bilgistic". I'm four years older than he is and would've been around 30 at the time. I sure as hell wasn't a "Miss" regardless of whether or not I had been married (I hadn't...still haven't). "Ms." is perfectly acceptable for an unmarried (or married!) woman. This isn't 1960.

Whenever there's a box to check for my title, I'll go for "Miss."  Although if "Rev." is among the options, I'll always choose that one first.  I think there was even a "Sister" once--you know I picked that one.

My little stand against Big Data.

 

1 minute ago, Katy M said:

I cringe to the nth degree if someone calls me Ms.  I'm not married.  Miss is fine. 

If you don't mind sharing--how old are you?

Edited October 4, 2017 by StatisticalOutlier

[Quof]

Quote

I actually kind of feel sorry for men on this topic because via this conversation we have proven that they are not going to please everyone.

No sympathy from me. They have the luxury of one title that doesn't disclose anything about their personal life, and that doesn't impact how the world perceives or treats them.  They don't ever have to think about it.

[Katy M]

16 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

If you don't mind sharing--how old are you?

Fairly old.  44.

6 minutes ago, Quof said:

No sympathy from me. They have the luxury of one title that doesn't disclose anything about their personal life, and that doesn't impact how the world perceives or treats them.  They don't ever have to think about it.

Well, that's not any one individual man's fault.  In fact, it's not really the collective fault of men alive now, because this has been the case for generations.  

[partofme]

I find being called ma'am highly offensive and it's happened since my early 20's.  

Edited October 4, 2017 by partofme

[theredhead77]

One of the things I'm learning to just try and roll with is being called "ma'am" as in "yes ma'am" and Ms [last name] by one of the guys in my leasing office. It's not a policy, the other leasing agents  and manager call me by my first name but I've heard him refer to others by Ms [last name] or Mr [last name] so I suspect it's his upbringing. I'm also trying to toss in "yes sir" when applicable with the sales force to try and buy some goodwill (as in "yes sir, you got it!".) If I think they're being disrespectful or demeaning there's no way in hell that would ever come out of my mouth. When I have to go to BFE Alabama I'm sure it will come in handy.

[DeLurker]

I'll take ma'am over Missy.

[auntlada]

I prefer ma'am to darlin', which I have been called at work (not by a co-worker or boss but by a member of the public serving on the editorial board). The guy was old, but since he called all the men by name, and I'd had enough of him that day, I told him I had a name, and it wasn't darlin' and that he'd better start using it.

I use ma'am in situations where I would use sir. I never use miss. It seems weird. I do use missy for the girl cat when I'm telling her she better stop something. It's the equivalent of buddy, I think. When I use ma'am or sir is usually in a business or business-like situation, often when I am explaining to someone that what they want is not possible. And it has nothing to do with their age, especially since there's a good chance they are younger than me.

I also use sir and ma'am with young children, like when I tell my son he cannot do or have something. "No, sir, you will not climb all over your Scout leader." If it's a girl, I say ma'am. I suspect I get it from my mother who was born and lived her early years in Texas.

I get that ma'am has an ageist history and that some women find it offensive, but I'm just not offended and don't find it ignorant. I think it's politeness, especially if you don't know someone's name. It's less brusque. Maybe I live too close to the South or know too many southerners. It's just what they do.

Of course, once someone gives a preference for a term of address, it is impolite not to follow that.

I found an NPR bit about ma'am that was interesting. Some guy from Austin (I think) said he found that women in New York City seemed to like it when he called them ma'am. The show hosts theorized it was his accent.

[bilgistic]

"Ma'am" is definitely a Southern thing (I'm eighth-generation NC native). I was raised to say "yes, ma'am; yes, sir", but I can't help but feel old when people address me as "ma'am". I just don't think of myself as old enough to be called "ma'am", though I realize I'm now the age my mother was when I was 17(!!!). I'm also not a mother and not traditional in any way. Just call me by my name.

That's a good place to start in general, I think. Ask people how they want to be addressed.

[backformore]

4 hours ago, Katy M said:

I think the problem is that every single woman has a different preference.  I cringe to the nth degree if someone calls me Ms.  I'm not married.  Miss is fine.  I actually kind of feel sorry for men on this topic because via this conversation we have proven that they are not going to please everyone.

I like Ms.   

the reason for it is that a man is "Mr."  no matter if he is married or single, why should a woman be addressed according to her marital status?  

Edited October 5, 2017 by backformore

[backformore]

I also don't get the objection to ma'am.  it's the female equivalent to "sir." 

[Fairfax]

The first time I was addressed as Ma'am, I was 19 & the speakers were very young teenagers who'd just moved north after being raised in the South.  I was an adult & they weren't, so that's what they were taught to say & they were being polite & respectful.  I appreciated their manners & still think of "Ma'am" that way -- I'm now old enough to be most people's grandma (at least), but that's nothing to be ashamed of.

[StatisticalOutlier]

4 hours ago, auntlada said:

I found an NPR bit about ma'am that was interesting. Some guy from Austin (I think) said he found that women in New York City seemed to like it when he called them ma'am. The show hosts theorized it was his accent.

I was just going to post that I wouldn't be surprised if I get a little bit of a pass when I call someone on the phone "ma'am" because I have a Texas drawl that I just can't shake. 

[theredhead77]

10 hours ago, auntlada said:

I found an NPR bit about ma'am that was interesting. Some guy from Austin (I think) said he found that women in New York City seemed to like it when he called them ma'am. The show hosts theorized it was his accent.

Did they win the Captain Obvious award? I'm very disappointed in the lack of southern accents I've heard thus far.

 

I should go back to the Corner Bakery and get lunch soon. The manager could read me the dictionary. And he was cute.

[MrSmith]

14 hours ago, backformore said:

Ok, I read that story about the woman removed form the flight because of her allergy.  Yeah, she did it to herself.   The minute she said her allergy was "life threatening,"  the airline had no choice but to remove her.  she said "Life threatening", which means she could DIE if on the same plane as dogs.   Yeah, then you have to leave.  

In my opinion, this is why that story hasn't blown up and given Southwest a black eye like other stories about airlines mistreating passengers have in the recent past. Also, it's pretty clear that she either doesn't have an allergy or it's minor/managed because she not only does she refuse to deplane but, once she has been deplaned, she actually manages to get back on the plane. These are not the actions of a person with a severe or life-threatening allergy. Someone whose life is threatened by their allergy will be glad to be off the plane, even if they aren't happy about the delay in their travel and the change to the itinerary.

[Qoass]

Whenever a guy calls me honey or dear, I consider that an invitation to call him cupcake.

Edited October 5, 2017 by Qoass

[Mindthinkr]

5 minutes ago, Qoass said:

Whenever a guy calls me honey or dear, I consider that an invitation to call him cupcake.

I second that. I hate being called affectionate names by people I do not even know. It's belittling and sexist. I like your idea of calling them cupcake in return to see how they like it. Good one. 

[Moose135]

14 minutes ago, Qoass said:

Whenever a guy calls me honey or dear, I consider that an invitation to call him cupcake.

I have no problem with that...

[Sun-Bun]

12 hours ago, backformore said:

I like Ms.   

the reason for it is that a man is "Mr."  no matter if he is married or single, why should a woman be addressed according to her marital status?  

Exactly. I was 34 when I got married---I wasn't about to change my last name for anyone by then. Although even if I'd been 24, I still wouldn't have changed my last name, because I find the whole wife taking the husband's last name archaic and vaguely sexist. Plus, it's a whole lot of money and trouble to change all your legal documents. And I happen to really like my last name, even though my father was a dirtbag.

The wife last name-changing is a trend that I really wish would die already. Why can't the husband take his wife's name if he likes? Or how about if both spouses change their names together to a new name?? And then there's the half-assed hyphenating of last names that some ladies attempt---I always wanna tell those gals to just pick a side already.

Once I knew this gal who told me that she was taking her husband's last name because she was ready to drop her "slave name." I mentioned that she was merely choosing another name to get enslaved by, to which she answered that at least she was choosing her master this time. Whatever though, I don't understand the mentality of most brides anyway((don't even get me started on my feelings about big weddings and all that hoopla surrounding them)).

I do call myself Mrs. sometimes just so my students know to refer to me that way---although it does make me chuckle when my husband ends up getting called by my last name when I make reservations under my last name as a Mrs. 

That extends to the last names of kids though. Beyond annoying to see some kids with two last names because their ego-riddled parents decided to plunk extra last names on their poor offspring. How about just settling on one last name and leave it at that? Hell, do a coin toss if it matters that much to both parents as to which last name the kids get.

Edited October 5, 2017 by Sun-Bun

[DeLurker]

2 hours ago, theredhead77 said:

I'm very disappointed in the lack of southern accents I've heard thus far.

There's a whole array of southern accents - or regional southern accents.  People from Jacksonville always had a more pronounced one then people growing up in South Florida*.  Working in Atlanta which seems to have grown a lot, you may be interacting with a lot of people who moved there from someplace else or who have consciously worked to minimize their accent.  You can tell them (I should say us) when they get tired or have a few drinks in them - that drawl will slip right out.

Whatever accent they have going on in the Nashville area was wicked easy to pick up on.  I went there a few times and always left finding I had unconsciously adopted it.

*I grew up in South Florida and the boys with the heaviest accent there spoke almost exactly like Sawyer on Lost.

[emma675]

Shoot, there are multiple accents just here in Texas. I grew up in east Texas where the Louisiana Cajun accent factors in; when I go back home that old drawl just slips back in. I can turn my accent off if I concentrate on it, but I've also used it to my advantage when I'm traveling, too. It's amazing how people react to you when you've got a different accent than they do (and I'm sure I do the same thing when someone has a different accent than mine).

I'm now in north Texas where the accent isn't as drawn out. You've also got south Texas, west Texas, the Valley and Panhandle accents. When people say "you've got a Texas accent", I just have to laugh.

[theredhead77]

1 hour ago, DeLurker said:

You can tell them (I should say us) when they get tired or have a few drinks in them - that drawl will slip right out.

*I grew up in South Florida and the boys with the heaviest accent there spoke almost exactly like Sawyer on Lost.

I spent 3 years waiting for my buddy's drawl to slip right out, he always said when he was drunk his accent would come back. Well I saw him stupid drunk plenty of times with no accent. Disappointed!

 

And yes, Sawyer, Josh Holloway, yes please.

[Mindthinkr]

1 minute ago, theredhead77 said:

 

 

And yes, Sawyer, Josh Holloway, yes please.

Those "Lost" years were pure eye candy with him. To quote another poster...swoon. 

[Blergh]

OK here's a pet peeve of mine: when folks preface statements with 'studies show' and/or 'according to surveys' - inasmuch as, quite often, studies and surveys get tabulated to advance of agendae of  virtually every stripe imaginable and unimaginable . If one must say 'studies. . .' or 'surveys. .' at least say WHICH study/survey one is using to draw one's conclusions from so the listeners may determine the validity of such claim  via studying for themselves the circumstances, statisticians and purported subjects of said 'studies' and/or 'surveys'

[backformore]

@sun-bun, just wait. The first wave of hyphenated last name kids are growing up and getting married. If Susie smith-waterson marries Johnny thompson- Jones, do they double hyphenate the hyphenated names? 

40 minutes ago, Blergh said:

OK here's a pet peeve of mine: when folks preface statements with 'studies show' and/or 'according to surveys' - inasmuch as, quite often, studies and surveys get tabulated to advance of agendae of  virtually every stripe imaginable and unimaginable . If one must say 'studies. . .' or 'surveys. .' at least say WHICH study/survey one is using to draw one's conclusions from so the listeners may determine the validity of such claim  via studying for themselves the circumstances, statisticians and purported subjects of said 'studies' and/or 'surveys'

Yes, and if you're going to base your opinion or actions on a study, you need to go get the original study to see what it actually shows.   Real research is often shortened to a bastardization of the actual conclusion in order to have a "sexy" headline. 

[theredhead77]

7 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

Those "Lost" years were pure eye candy with him. To quote another poster...swoon. 

He's pretty swoontastic on Colony.

[Mindthinkr]

Is that a good show? 

[StatisticalOutlier]

11 hours ago, Qoass said:

Whenever a guy calls me honey or dear, I consider that an invitation to call him cupcake.

 

10 hours ago, Moose135 said:

I have no problem with that...

Thanks for that.  I was just going to post that guys would probably like to be called cupcake, or any term of endearment.  I tried to make an analogy once, when a bunch of guys I was with were ogling this woman who was coming up some stairs in the grandstand we were sitting in.  I said, "How would you like to be ogled like that?"  They all said they would like it very much.

 

10 hours ago, Sun-Bun said:

The wife last name-changing is a trend that I really wish would die already. Why can't the husband take his wife's name if he likes? Or how about if both spouses change their names together to a new name?? And then there's the half-assed hyphenating of last names that some ladies attempt---I always wanna tell those gals to just pick a side already.

I have a friend whose maiden name was "Haggard."  She dropped it with a quickness when she got married.

Today's peeve--who decided it's okay for car horns to honk every time the door is locked? 

[theredhead77]

36 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Is that a good show? 

I enjoy it. It's a dark (USA levels of "dark" not Skiffy / BSG / Farscape levels) scifi on USA Network. I'd say it's on par for USA level acting, production values.

[Wiendish Fitch]

37 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

 

Today's peeve--who decided it's okay for car horns to honk every time the door is locked? 

I understand why it would be annoying to some, but I love my car remote, because I hate worrying whether or not I've locked my door. When I hear that beep, all is well in the world, and I can go about my day. :)

Edited October 6, 2017 by Wiendish Fitch

[ratgirlagogo]

3 hours ago, backformore said:

@sun-bun, just wait. The first wave of hyphenated last name kids are growing up and getting married. If Susie smith-waterson marries Johnny thompson- Jones, do they double hyphenate the hyphenated names? 

Well, here are some possibilities based on other cultures that have a history of double surnames:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double-barrelled_name

[bilgistic]

47 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Today's peeve--who decided it's okay for car horns to honk every time the door is locked? 

Someone who parks in my apartment parking lot has an alarm that loudly beeps/chirps FOUR TIMES in succession when it is set...and it's always late at night. That's just obnoxious. One instance of noise is enough; two is pushing it.

[ParadoxLost]

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Today's peeve--who decided it's okay for car horns to honk every time the door is locked? 

Me.  My need to be able to reassure myself that I remembered to lock my car once I'm 50 feet away trumps your need to avoid noise pollution.  :)P  And you have to lock it twice to make the lights flash and beep.  If the lights flashed without the beep then I would spare your  ears.

[bilgistic]

I lock my car manually with the key because my car is old and cheap. After an accident (yep, still kept my car), I had to drive a rental that had a keyless push-button start. I hated it.

I think we've had this discussion before. I'm old.

We've also discussed how much we hate the ads on this site. I don't hate the concept of them because I get that PTV has to pay the bills, but the content is total WTF. Like this:

What in the hell, and why would I click on that??

[MrSmith]

10 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Today's peeve--who decided it's okay for car horns to honk every time the door is locked? 

I'd like to add cars which have headlights that turn off when the turn signal on that side of the car is engaged. Even worse are the cars where the headlight blinks: headlight turns off when the turn signal light turns on, and then the headlight turns on when the turn signal light turns off. Who in the sweet hell decided this was a good idea? I have never met anyone who couldn't see the turn signal with the headlights engaged; you know, the way it used to be! With all the stupid shit they're doing to cars these days, it makes me wonder why anyone wants to buy a new car. Blinking headlights, governors, those stupid infotainment systems, and all the stupid electronic crap they're adding. I guess I'll be sticking with used cars until I'm dead.

[StatisticalOutlier]

7 hours ago, MrSmith said:

With all the stupid shit they're doing to cars these days, it makes me wonder why anyone wants to buy a new car. Blinking headlights, governors, those stupid infotainment systems, and all the stupid electronic crap they're adding. I guess I'll be sticking with used cars until I'm dead.

I have access to two cars:  one is a 1998 and one is a 1999.  For a reason.  I wouldn't turn down a back-up camera, but only if I controlled when it's on--I drove a car that turned on the back-up screen every time you went into reverse.  No.

I understand people wanting confirmation that they locked their car, but that's their problem, not mine, and the beeping horn makes it my problem.  If you're 50 feet away, walk your ass back to the car and check it yourself if you're not sure.  If there are consequences, maybe you'll learn to do it right the first time.

Sorry if this comes off as harsh, but I just don't get inflicting noise on innocent victims for one's convenience.

[Bastet]

Not remembering if you locked your car is one of those things where something is so routine you do it without forming a specific memory of pushing the button/turning the key, so you walk away and think, "Wait, did I lock it?  Yeah, I did.  Or do I just think I did, because I always do?"  So I don't understand how if one is prone to thinking, "I don't remember if I turned the key/pushed the button" they aren't with one of these annoying devices just going to change to thinking, "I don't remember if I heard the horn."

Edited October 7, 2017 by Bastet

[GHScorpiosRule]

I'll jump in here and admit that the car I have right now has a key remote that makes a *beeping* noise: one short beep to unlock, and two short "beep-beep" when I lock it. And if for some stupid reason I forget to lock it, it's set up so within a minute, it locks itself; that is the buttons go into lock mode---silently.

I bought it used, it came with it. But I've gotten to the point that it's time for a new car. Yes, new. I'm done with buying used. Just done.

[MrSmith]

2 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I have access to two cars:  one is a 1998 and one is a 1999.  For a reason.  I wouldn't turn down a back-up camera, but only if I controlled when it's on--I drove a car that turned on the back-up screen every time you went into reverse.  No.

I understand people wanting confirmation that they locked their car, but that's their problem, not mine, and the beeping horn makes it my problem.  If you're 50 feet away, walk your ass back to the car and check it yourself if you're not sure.  If there are consequences, maybe you'll learn to do it right the first time.

Sorry if this comes off as harsh, but I just don't get inflicting noise on innocent victims for one's convenience.

Well, the stupid horn beeping when you lock the car is just as dumb as those stupid car alarms. Car alarms only got people's attention when they were new. Now? They go off so errantly that not only do people ignore them, it makes me want to fire about 150 rounds from a 50 caliber machine gun into the offending vehicle (assuming it's actually empty, of course).

 

1 minute ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I'll jump in here and admit that the car I have right now has a key remote that makes a *beeping* noise: one short beep to unlock, and two short "beep-beep" when I lock it. And if for some stupid reason I forget to lock it, it's set up so within a minute, it locks itself; that is the buttons go into lock mode---silently.

I bought it used, it came with it. But I've gotten to the point that it's time for a new car. Yes, new. I'm done with buying used. Just done.

I can understand why you want a new car. Sometimes I get tired of dealing with used car problems, too. To be honest, I'm kind of resentful of all this shit being added to cars because it means I'll never buy a brand new one. Plus, I don't want stuff like OnStar and all the telemetry crap they're shoving into cars. At the same time, I would very much like to have a car with integrated front and rear dash cameras.

[ParadoxLost]

2 hours ago, Bastet said:

Not remembering if you locked your car is one of those things were something is so routine you do it without forming a specific memory of pushing the button/turning the key, so you walk away and think, "Wait, did I lock it?  Yeah, I did.  Or do I just think I did, because I always do?"  So I don't understand how if one is prone to thinking, "I don't remember if I turned the key/pushed the button" they aren't with one of these annoying devices just going to change to thinking, "I don't remember if I heard the horn."

I do that with my garage door too.  Did I remember to shut it or am I remembering that I shut it yesterday?

Edited October 6, 2017 by ParadoxLost

[backformore]

31 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

I do that with my garage door too.  Did I remember to shut it or am I remembering that I shut it yesterday?

One way to deal with this: say "shut" out loud when you shut it. You say it while you're looking at it, to sear it into your memory.

It also works for remembering to unplug hair appliances, turn off lights,Etc.  If you were to listen to me in the morning, you would hear " off, unplugged, locked, closed," as I make sure everything is done. 

Edited October 6, 2017 by backformore

[LilWharveyGal]

I have to say, "Off," whenever I turn off the stove or unplug the iron, or else I worry all day that the house will burn down. :)  I had no idea that others do it too!

[Fairfax]

I must say "KEYS" before I close the front door & the trunk of the car, & wave the hand that's holding the keys.  This little ritual wasn't necessary until I became old & forgetful, but I don't mind doing whatever it takes to avoid disaster.

[theredhead77]

I also say "off" when turning off appliances and locked when locking the door.

 

I have a peeve, not everything is an 'ist' (sexist, racist, ageist, etc...) and the ongoing culture of reading way too much into some things really diminishes actual 'ist' behaviors.

My other peeve is the lack of CA King things in Georgia. I'm having a hell of a time finding a bedroom set and sheets.