Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"

[Katy M]

50 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

I don't like them and I would be too scared to use them outside when I need to hear the traffic, but I sometimes wish I used them, because noone seems to bother people when they have them on.

You could always put headphones on but not be listening to anything.  Then you can hear and act like you can't.

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

You could always put headphones on but not be listening to anything.  Then you can hear and act like you can't.

My NYC daughter used to walk with headphones on all the time so she wouldn't have to respond to catcalls or hawkers, even though she hates using them for phone calls and refuses to use them even though it would sometimes mean we could actually hear each other.

[supposebly]

13 hours ago, Katy M said:

Maybe on planes, we should have signs that say "up for chats" and "not up for chats."

That's why I wear headphones on planes. Also because of the plane noise. 

[Katy M]

2 minutes ago, supposebly said:

That's why I wear headphones on planes. Also because of the plane noise. 

Actually I couldn't even carry on a conversation on a plane if I wanted to.  It's too loud for me to filter voices enough to know what they're saying.

[TattleTeeny]

Oh, I have a bird peeve! There’s apparently some bird illness happening where I am and local bird people (I don’t know what to call them) advise taking down bird feeders for now to keep birds from congregating. I am so sad—I had put up a feeder not long before and I loved seeing the birds! And so did my cats! And now I am peeved because I miss them and because now the birds need to socially distance because of this!

[ABay]

@TattleTeeny, I was moaning about this a few weeks ago in the Pet thread (I think). The Audobon Society in CT advised removing feeders and baths to prevent the spread of whatever is killing the birds, along with assurance that at this time of year, there is an abundance of food around so they aren't going to starve.

As far as I know, nothing has been found here so maybe by the time other food sources became scarce, we can put feeders back up. The last I heard, no one knew what exactly it is but one theory is that it has something to do with the cicadas.

[Jane Tuesday]

I talk to people in elevators, or at least smile and nod. I find it incredibly awkward to be in a small space with another human and ignore them completely. Maybe it's partly because I'm from a small town where everyone waves (when driving) and says hello (when walking). When I'm in the city, I have to very deliberately NOT look people in the eye on the sidewalk or the subway. 🤣

That said, as a general rule for men reading this: let women take the lead. It used to be considered just good manners to let women initiate contact (conversation, handshakes). It's awful, and not about you personally, but being alone with a strange man can be scary, especially for women who have experienced violence. Back off and let her decide if she wants to talk to you. 

[TattleTeeny]

44 minutes ago, ABay said:

@TattleTeeny, I was moaning about this a few weeks ago in the Pet thread (I think). The Audobon Society in CT advised removing feeders and baths to prevent the spread of whatever is killing the birds, along with assurance that at this time of year, there is an abundance of food around so they aren't going to starve.

As far as I know, nothing has been found here so maybe by the time other food sources became scarce, we can put feeders back up. The last I heard, no one knew what exactly it is but one theory is that it has something to do with the cicadas.

I hope so. It took a while after I put the feeder up for the birds to start showing up, but once they did, we loved it (we=me and the cats!). And then, this -- BOOOOO!

[Nicmar]

My pet peeve is now for some reason tomatoes and drinking lemonade is giving me heartburn... it sucks getting old...☹️

[Nicmar]

31 minutes ago, icemiser69 said:

I am having a horrible time trying to find Japanese Beetles spray.  I have looked and looked, and all I can find are those disgusting traps where the beetles fall into a bag. 

When have Green June Beetles in Texas and they always come in hordes every September.

[PRgal]

I'm still getting (some of) my groceries delivered (this is mostly due to laziness and the fact that I'm petite and don't like carrying multiple bags or dragging one of those cart things that (mostly) elderly ladies use.  I don't always have access to a car and live within walkable distance to four grocery stores).  My pet peeve is when the place sends me incorrect items.  I was supposed to get king oyster mushrooms, but you know what they sent me today?  Kiwi.  I hate kiwi.  I've also had missing items.  This place is pretty good most of the time, however.  And because I registered for a membership, I get discounted delivery (we're talking 50% off) AND I don't have to pay extra to schedule a time.  

[WinnieWinkle]

11 minutes ago, PRgal said:

don't like carrying multiple bags or dragging one of those cart things that (mostly) elderly ladies use.  I don't always have access to a car and live within walkable distance to four grocery stores). 

We used to live in England and for most of that time didn't have a car - my husband and kids said they'd disown me I got one of those shopping trolley things.  I threatened to buy a wagon and use that but bowed to peer pressure and took taxis if I got carried away at the grocery store.

[ABay]

I'm still using Instacart for the big shopping and have had very few problems after a couple of issues very early on. If you report something is missing or the shopper got you the wrong thing, they refund you. Shopping of any kind in person is one step above cleaning the bathroom in the drudgery sweepstakes for me, so I'm happy to pay someone else to do it for me.

[peacheslatour]

Just now, ABay said:

I'm still using Instacart for the big shopping and have had very few problems after a couple of issues very early on. If you report something is missing or the shopper got you the wrong thing, they refund you. Shopping of any kind in person is one step above cleaning the bathroom in the drudgery sweepstakes for me, so I'm happy to pay someone else to do it for me.

If it weren't for my DH, I would do the same thing. He goes once a week. I plan all the meals, do the inventory, make the list and prepare all the meals so I feel it's a fair trade off.

[TattleTeeny]

Ugh, I despise grocery shopping, so I have the normal everyday stuff delivered. I’ve done it for years because that’s the chore I hate most! Unfortunately, the store I use is gradually ditching various vegan items, it seems. I don’t mind making quick trips to Trader Joe’s or the hippie food market near me for those things, as those stores seem less like regular big supermarkets, but still, ugh!

[TattleTeeny]

 BIRD FRIENDS!

 

Edited August 10, 2021 by TattleTeeny

[MargeGunderson]

Peeve - neighbors who don’t take reasonable care of their property, which creates a problem for me. My next-door neighbor does almost nothing with respect to his lawn. His driveway, which abuts my lawn, is overrun by weeds. There are huge clumps of weeds all along the edge of his driveway that are spreading into my lawn. I had my lawn redone a couple of years ago, including putting down new sod. Now his crabgrass is on my really nice lawn! At one point last summer I actually pulled all of the weeds in his driveway that were next to my lawn. This past weekend I sprayed the weeds in my lawn and in his driveway as well. I know that the guy on the other side of my neighbor is also really annoyed because he is having the same problem as me. I’m so glad that we put up a fence between our properties when we put in a patio last year, so at least we don’t have to look at his mess of a yard. 

[EtheltoTillie]

45 minutes ago, MargeGunderson said:

Peeve - neighbors who don’t take reasonable care of their property, which creates a problem for me. My next-door neighbor does almost nothing with respect to his lawn. His driveway, which abuts my lawn, is overrun by weeds. There are huge clumps of weeds all along the edge of his driveway that are spreading into my lawn. I had my lawn redone a couple of years ago, including putting down new sod. Now his crabgrass is on my really nice lawn! At one point last summer I actually pulled all of the weeds in his driveway that were next to my lawn. This past weekend I sprayed the weeds in my lawn and in his driveway as well. I know that the guy on the other side of my neighbor is also really annoyed because he is having the same problem as me. I’m so glad that we put up a fence between our properties when we put in a patio last year, so at least we don’t have to look at his mess of a yard. 

Geez, we have this too. Our 95 year old neighbor across the street died after being in a nursing home for years. The children have been neglecting the property and not mowing and they don’t use the house. Weeds have overgrown the roof. Our other neighbor tried to buy it to rebuild for his parents, and he didn’t even get a response. 

[MargeGunderson]

19 minutes ago, GussieK said:

Geez, we have this too. Our 95 year old neighbor across the street died after being in a nursing home for years. The children have been neglecting the property and not mowing and they don’t use the house. Weeds have overgrown the roof. Our other neighbor tried to buy it to rebuild for his parents, and he didn’t even get a response. 

Funny thing, the same house was empty for a few years, after the owner passed away. The family kept it up, including the 80 year old brother of the original owner, who would come over to trim the hedges. For the first year or so the current owner did a lot of work on the yard but not since then. I feel especially bad for the neighbor on the other side of him, who has an immaculate lawn and has helped out the negligent neighbor with several house things. Way to be a crappy neighbor!

[ABay]

Thanks for posting that. @TattleTeeny!

I'm going to wait a little longer before putting my feeders back up since they need to be cleaned and I want to move the poles they hang from.

[TattleTeeny]

I just hope they all didn’t forget about me!

ETA: I just saw a little hummingbird! I have never seen one in person!

Edited August 10, 2021 by TattleTeeny

[GHScorpiosRule]

This hasn't happened in over...three years?

Me: I just placed an order for some two pocket folders, but I haven't received an email confirmation like I normally do. I don't see it in my pending orders, so when I searched for it again to try and order it again, it says I ordered it already.

Amazon Rep: [usual script of apologies and let me look into this]; puts me on hold; comes back and says: "did you check your email for confirmation of the order?"

Me: Yes. That's why I'm calling and that was what I just told you five minutes ago.

Amazon: "I'm sorry for the confusion...blah, blah"

Me: in my head: what confusion?

Amazon: "Oh, we're having problems with our system; so you'll need to order it again later."

Me: But your site says I already ordered it; not that the order didn't go through. I don't want to be charged twice and since this isn't fulfilled by Amazon, I want to get this resolved now.

Amazon: Like I said, it's an issue with the site so you have to order again, according to my supervisor.

Me: Can I please speak with your supervisor, because you're not hearing what my issue is.

Amazon: Okay. [on hold until I speak with the supervisor]

Supervisor: [apologies, blah, blah], but we are having issues with our site, and I can also confirm your order went through. The confirmation will be delayed.

Me: Thank you. That's all I wanted to know. 

Seriously. I'm telling the person, according to their site, the order went through; I just wanted confirmation of it from their end since I didn't get the email and it wasn't listed on my list of pending orders.

ETA: I got the confirmation the next day. So that part of the system was down.

Edited August 10, 2021 by GHScorpiosRule

[shapeshifter]

2 hours ago, GussieK said:

Geez, we have this too. Our 95 year old neighbor across the street died after being in a nursing home for years. The children have been neglecting the property and not mowing and they don’t use the house. Weeds have overgrown the roof. Our other neighbor tried to buy it to rebuild for his parents, and he didn’t even get a response. 

As someone trying to purchase a home right now, this is truly a Sellers' Market. If the late owner's kids are smart, they'll list it now. But perhaps they have no need of money and can't get along with each other long enough to consider unloading the property.
I can't imagine owning a home that you have no need for, but, actually, the guy across the street from me apparently owns many homes in this neighborhood, in various states of disrepair. He lives modestly in one that he keeps up nicely. I don't get it.🤷‍♀️

Edited August 10, 2021 by shapeshifter

[KittyMom4]

3 hours ago, MargeGunderson said:

Peeve - neighbors who don’t take reasonable care of their property, which creates a problem for me. My next-door neighbor does almost nothing with respect to his lawn. His driveway, which abuts my lawn, is overrun by weeds. There are huge clumps of weeds all along the edge of his driveway that are spreading into my lawn. I had my lawn redone a couple of years ago, including putting down new sod. Now his crabgrass is on my really nice lawn! At one point last summer I actually pulled all of the weeds in his driveway that were next to my lawn. This past weekend I sprayed the weeds in my lawn and in his driveway as well. I know that the guy on the other side of my neighbor is also really annoyed because he is having the same problem as me. I’m so glad that we put up a fence between our properties when we put in a patio last year, so at least we don’t have to look at his mess of a yard. 

 

2 hours ago, GussieK said:

Geez, we have this too. Our 95 year old neighbor across the street died after being in a nursing home for years. The children have been neglecting the property and not mowing and they don’t use the house. Weeds have overgrown the roof. Our other neighbor tried to buy it to rebuild for his parents, and he didn’t even get a response. 

I have the same struggle with the house next ours, it was a rental property when I moved in with my now-husband 2 years ago. It's been vacant since last October and this summer the yard became quite overgrown. The owner finally showed up in June when I happened to be outside and she told me she planned to clean the place up and put it on the market. The town came and mowed the lawn (they bill the homeowner) and a dumpster arrived in early July and sat in the driveway for a month. We randomly saw people there, the dumpster got filled and taken away last week but the house is still filled with crap (I can see through the windows) and the backyard is overgrown again and still has a pile of shit that the renters left there (bikes, random wood things, a trumpet case, an old mower etc.). It's frustrating since I'm in the process of getting my yard in shape from years of neglect as it too used to be rental property before my husband bought it. 

[Browncoat]

2 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

I just hope they all didn’t forget about me!

It won't take them long to find you again!

[bilgistic]

1 hour ago, shapeshifter said:

As someone trying to purchase a home right now, this is truly a Sellers' Market. If the late owner's kids are smart, they'll list it now. But perhaps they have no need of money and can't get along with each other long enough to consider unloading the property.
I can't imagine owning a home that you have no need for, but, actually, the guy across the street from me apparently owns many homes in this neighborhood, in various states of disrepair. He lives modestly in one that he keeps up nicely. I don't get it.🤷‍♀️

My mother and aunt just today put my late grandmother's house on the market and had a showing at 12:30 and had an offer from it. The house is a three-bedroom, two-bath ranch in the Piedmont Triad region of North Carolina. It's a little dated, but clean and well kept up. The realtor said her average list to sell time is seven days. Crazy.

[emma675]

I have an honest to goodness hoarder living in my neighborhood--he has 7-8 cars plus an RV parked all over his front yard all the time (he lives on a corner lot); he's let his backyard trees grow down to the fence line, added metal sheeting from the roofline to the fence in some areas, and from what his neighbors on either side can tell, it's a warren of junk all over the backyard, piling up to the eaves. He's not only mentally ill, he's mean (he routinely yells at people from his front yard for no apparent reason, has claimed he will put a lien on people's houses to find out who is calling Code Compliance on him, boarded up a mother dog and her puppies in a shed <he got caught by the city for this>, etc.) and from what neighbors have told me, a wannabe criminal. Apparently, he's had several "mysterious" fires in the middle of the night, but magically they were contained to one corner of the house and he and all of his relatives were already out on the front lawn with all of their valuables before the fire trucks arrived. Rumor is, his insurance company investigated him for fraud after the last fire and since then, no more fires. 

I try to be patient, but when there are foxes on his roof, crap everywhere all the time, and Code Compliance does absolutely nothing, it's incredibly hard. We don't have an HOA so there are no neighborhood rules he has to adhere by and anytime someone tries to say something to him, he either goes on and on about how he's old and has cancer (or whatever disease he's fixated on at the time) or screams about his rights being violated. It sucks when one person and their hoard has an affect on so many others who don't have anything to do with the situation. I just keep my distance at this point. 

[peacheslatour]

3 hours ago, emma675 said:

I have an honest to goodness hoarder living in my neighborhood--he has 7-8 cars plus an RV parked all over his front yard all the time (he lives on a corner lot); he's let his backyard trees grow down to the fence line, added metal sheeting from the roofline to the fence in some areas, and from what his neighbors on either side can tell, it's a warren of junk all over the backyard, piling up to the eaves. He's not only mentally ill, he's mean (he routinely yells at people from his front yard for no apparent reason, has claimed he will put a lien on people's houses to find out who is calling Code Compliance on him, boarded up a mother dog and her puppies in a shed <he got caught by the city for this>, etc.) and from what neighbors have told me, a wannabe criminal. Apparently, he's had several "mysterious" fires in the middle of the night, but magically they were contained to one corner of the house and he and all of his relatives were already out on the front lawn with all of their valuables before the fire trucks arrived. Rumor is, his insurance company investigated him for fraud after the last fire and since then, no more fires. 

I try to be patient, but when there are foxes on his roof, crap everywhere all the time, and Code Compliance does absolutely nothing, it's incredibly hard. We don't have an HOA so there are no neighborhood rules he has to adhere by and anytime someone tries to say something to him, he either goes on and on about how he's old and has cancer (or whatever disease he's fixated on at the time) or screams about his rights being violated. It sucks when one person and their hoard has an affect on so many others who don't have anything to do with the situation. I just keep my distance at this point. 

He sounds like a hot Covid vector. He may not be around much longer.

[isalicat]

3 hours ago, emma675 said:

I have an honest to goodness hoarder living in my neighborhood--he has 7-8 cars plus an RV parked all over his front yard all the time (he lives on a corner lot); he's let his backyard trees grow down to the fence line, added metal sheeting from the roofline to the fence in some areas, and from what his neighbors on either side can tell, it's a warren of junk all over the backyard, piling up to the eaves. He's not only mentally ill, he's mean (he routinely yells at people from his front yard for no apparent reason, has claimed he will put a lien on people's houses to find out who is calling Code Compliance on him, boarded up a mother dog and her puppies in a shed <he got caught by the city for this>, etc.) and from what neighbors have told me, a wannabe criminal. Apparently, he's had several "mysterious" fires in the middle of the night, but magically they were contained to one corner of the house and he and all of his relatives were already out on the front lawn with all of their valuables before the fire trucks arrived. Rumor is, his insurance company investigated him for fraud after the last fire and since then, no more fires. 

I try to be patient, but when there are foxes on his roof, crap everywhere all the time, and Code Compliance does absolutely nothing, it's incredibly hard. We don't have an HOA so there are no neighborhood rules he has to adhere by and anytime someone tries to say something to him, he either goes on and on about how he's old and has cancer (or whatever disease he's fixated on at the time) or screams about his rights being violated. It sucks when one person and their hoard has an affect on so many others who don't have anything to do with the situation. I just keep my distance at this point. 

Actually the best thing to do is to contact your county Department of Public Health. Sounds like this situation could encourage rats or other pests so they might be interested in doing an inspection. Good luck!

[emma675]

25 minutes ago, isalicat said:

Actually the best thing to do is to contact your county Department of Public Health. Sounds like this situation could encourage rats or other pests so they might be interested in doing an inspection. Good luck!

Oh, believe me, the neighborhood has called every city and county official we could over the years. He actually used to own the house across the street from him as well and hoarded up that one, too. I came home from work one evening to find a bulldozer, city garbage truck, and police on the front lawn. They were using the bulldozer to remove piles of mattresses and tires from the backyard and neighbors on either side of that house said they had waves of rats, raccoons, and possums. Apparently he owed thousands in back taxes and the city had enough and foreclosed on it. I have a feeling the hoard will be around until he dies. He has a rotating cast of relatives in and out, so I'm not sure who actually lives with him. 

Edited August 10, 2021 by emma675d

[SuprSuprElevated]

On 8/9/2021 at 12:08 PM, TattleTeeny said:

Oh, I have a bird peeve! There’s apparently some bird illness happening where I am and local bird people (I don’t know what to call them) advise taking down bird feeders for now to keep birds from congregating. I am so sad—I had put up a feeder not long before and I loved seeing the birds! And so did my cats! And now I am peeved because I miss them and because now the birds need to socially distance because of this!

I am in Indiana and we have been dealing with this since June, and many states east of us and along the eastern seaboard have been even earlier than that.

A couple days ago, the Indiana DNR announced that most Indiana counties can again resume feeding.  I don't share this as an endorsement for everyone to do so, but just for information.  I would connect with your state's DNR, either on social media or through their website to stay updated on your location.   The confounding thing is that they still haven't been able to identify the problem.  Lots of theories floating around, but nothing concrete. 

76_counties_can_resume_feeding_birds

[TattleTeeny]

I put mine back up this morning and have been bizarrely elated all day! I am happy to report that, even in the midst of the whole thing, no one from our condos has seen any dead birds around. 

[GaT]

6 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

Peeve:

Hypocrites.   If you are going to write a song and expect me to dance to your tune, you ought to be leading that dance.  If you are unwilling to lead that dance, don't expect me to dance, because it isn't going to happen.  Dancing is my decision, regardless.

Just making sure, this isn't about actual dancing, right?

[ABay]

Taking bird feeder and bird death discussion to the Pet thread.

[Adiba]

1 hour ago, icemiser69 said:

Peeve:  Going for an evening walk and stumbling upon dog walkers walking in the road on opposite sides of the street in my direction.  That leaves me to either walk down the center of the road, or turn around and walk in the other direction.

My neighborhood is a semi-rural area (still some open space and farms, some development) with hills and curved roads. My peeve is people who not only walk NOT facing traffic, but walk two or three abreast down the road (most roads are narrow with little paved shoulder). Then they turn around and give you a blank stare like, "what is a car doing here?"

Yesterday, I was going 38 in a 35mph zone on a main road. A couple was walking their dog with the dog on the outside (in the road). I moved over into the oncoming lane to give them space, and the woman yelled at me to "slow down!" WTF? I resisted flipping the bird and just drove on.

[TattleTeeny]

Project managers who don’t understand that they are here to keep the project moving, NOT tell each member of the project’s team how to do our respective jobs—or how long it “should” take to do them. For example, it will take me the same amount of time to read 20 pages, whether you want me to mark only egregious errors as it would to mark all errors. Granted, I won’t take as long MARKING UP the job, but I still have to actually read it to see what’s egregious. (Also, please rely on ME to decide what’s egregious.)

[shapeshifter]

22 minutes ago, Adiba said:

My neighborhood is a semi-rural area (still some open space and farms, some development) with hills and curved roads. My peeve is people who not only walk NOT facing traffic, but walk two or three abreast down the road (most roads are narrow with little paved shoulder). Then they turn around and give you a blank stare like, "what is a car doing here?"

Yesterday, I was going 38 in a 35mph zone on a main road. A couple was walking their dog with the dog on the outside (in the road). I moved over into the oncoming lane to give them space, and the woman yelled at me to "slow down!" WTF? I resisted flipping the bird and just drove on.

Since I moved in January I no longer have to contend with this problem.
But when I did frequently find myself driving behind pedestrians walking on the right in my direction, I would just slow down and follow them closely until one of them noticed me. 
Sometimes they would look surprised and sheepish and move out of the way, but others would start trying to wave me into the wrong lane, which I refused to do, even if they got angry. And I enjoyed being the cool headed one. 

This got much worse in the early months of the pandemic.
A pedestrian was run over in this small town during the pandemic --a first in the neighborhood.
There were a lot of bad drivers running around then too, and I don't know the exact situation.

 

 

 

2 hours ago, icemiser69 said:

Peeve:  Going for an evening walk and stumbling upon dog walkers walking in the road on opposite sides of the street in my direction.  That leaves me to either walk down the center of the road, or turn around and walk in the other direction.

When these sorts of things occur I want to call out: "Bad dog owner! Bad dog owner!"
And silently I do.
Yesterday a Good dog owner pulled his dog off onto the grass when he saw me approaching on the sidewalk, even though I could have gone on the grass myself. 
I did not think "Good dog owner!" LOL, but I did say "Aloha" because he was wearing a Hawaiian souvenir t-shirt. 

[MissFeatherbottom]

On 8/8/2021 at 6:14 PM, bilgistic said:

It seems I'm incredibly anti-social given the reaction of two other people (my boyfriend and friend) with whom I've discussed this. Which, yes, I am, but I don't think I'm too weird for thinking how I think about this topic.

The backstory: I got on the elevator to leave work the other day and some grown fratboy type (polo, khakis, loafers) in his 50s was also on the elevator with me (all black clothing, platform sandals). He said to me, "So you're a rebel, too?" Me: "What??" Him: "You don't have your mask on in the common areas." Me: "Ohh. Well, I'm vaccinated, but yeah, the variants are scary." (I had actually forgotten my mask.) We leave the elevator. I literally see only one person a day in the "common areas" because so few people work in our building (and office; I was the only person there Friday, but that's another peeve.)

Dudes. Don't talk to women you don't know in elevators. Especially with a weird line like that. My boyfriend and I got into this big discussion about it and he basically said he talks to strangers to try to make them feel "at ease". I told him it has the opposite effect, and people (especially women) are doing OK on their own. Generally speaking, women don't want random men's input in anything (including whether or not we're smiling), and it's best if you just keep to yourself.

I discussed this with my friend and she doesn't feel the way I do. She says she talks to people on elevators and thinks it's weird that I think it's intrusive. I have pretty severe social anxiety and am a big introvert, so that all definitely plays a part in my feelings. My interactions with people, whether direct or indirect (like if people are being loud in the office), no matter how small, deplete my finite supply of energy I have to deal with them. I don't feel like indulging Chad in the elevator as well. Just leave me alone.

Am I weird or do y'all also want to be left the hell alone in public?

You aren't weird but I am also an introvert and I also think it's awkward/unnatural to have small talk in an elevator, especially with people I don't know. I usually bury my face in my cell phone and pretend to be doing something to avoid it.  It sounds like your boyfriend and friend might be extroverts, so maybe for them it is more natural to have small talk when it's not necessary, My husband is an extrovert (and daughter too) and they just think I'm odd because I am not the same way. They just say whatever is on their mind, and I tend to filter what I say and only say things if necessary. And I feel the same way about daily interactions (at work) draining my energy! At the end of a long work day it feels like I have run a marathon (in my mind lol) and I'm just ready to go home.

 

[Annber03]

7 minutes ago, MissFeatherbottom said:

My husband is an extrovert (and daughter too) and they just think I'm odd because I am not the same way. They just say whatever is on their mind, and I tend to filter what I say and only say things if necessary. 

My sister's more like your husband and daughter. As was my dad. My mom and I are more like you. 

And yes to the "only say things if necessary" aspect - yeah, sometimes if I'm not participating in a conversation, it's simply because I'm neutral on the topic and have nothing of note to contribute to it one way or another. I'll just let everyone else discuss it instead, and I'll just quietly listen (or focus on something else, if the topic isn't of any interest to me at all). 

[Cobb Salad]

2 hours ago, TattleTeeny said:

Project managers who don’t understand that they are here to keep the project moving, NOT tell each member of the project’s team how to do our respective jobs—or how long it “should” take to do them. For example, it will take me the same amount of time to read 20 pages, whether you want me to mark only egregious errors as it would to mark all errors. Granted, I won’t take as long MARKING UP the job, but I still have to actually read it to see what’s egregious. (Also, please rely on ME to decide what’s egregious.)

IT worker here.   I was hired for a short term contract (now completed) a while back to develop a data model for a database the team I was working on was tasked with developing.   The boss was okay with what I came up with but the project manager and business analyst weren’t.  The project manager redesigned the data model because he didn’t like the name of one of the tables and the business analyst was going along with his ideas so I felt outnumbered and since I was a contractor and they were employees I figured in the long run if there were any issues they’d get the heat instead of me.  Anyway HE redid the work I was supposed to do instead of working to keep me moving along.  He’d do this for other tasks related to other people’s work.  There are a bunch of other stories I could tell here about him but I’d be rambling on a while.  Overall upper management was happy with what I did accomplish and I did get to work there longer than I initially planned.   That project manager … ugh.  

[TattleTeeny]

Right after I posted that, I got a 45-page read with a deadline of 2 pm.

[MissFeatherbottom]

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

My sister's more like your husband and daughter. As was my dad. My mom and I are more like you. 

And yes to the "only say things if necessary" aspect - yeah, sometimes if I'm not participating in a conversation, it's simply because I'm neutral on the topic and have nothing of note to contribute to it one way or another. I'll just let everyone else discuss it instead, and I'll just quietly listen (or focus on something else, if the topic isn't of any interest to me at all). 

I do this too and am totally comfortable just sitting back and taking it all in, but then someone always has to point out that I haven't contributed or I'm being "quiet." I guess that's another pet peeve I have is being called quiet. I feel like it's more acceptable for people to point that out but i rarely hear someone being called "loud." 

[annzeepark914]

I recently started physical therapy.  The practice is in a bldg on a hospital campus. The parking availability is awful so I now leave enough time to drive up and down the rows searching for a spot. Just when I think I've found one, I realize that a car next to the empty space is hanging over the line. Yesterday I found this situation 3 times and began to wonder if people are doing this on purpose (maybe they wanted more room to get out of their cars--because the empty spot was always on the passenger side??) I dunno. All I know is it's hot as Hades this week and I'm having to park in the rows farthest away from the bldg & it's makin' me cranky. Are they just crappy at parking or does anyone think they're doing it on purpose (for one reason or another)?

[Katy M]

20 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

I recently started physical therapy.  The practice is in a bldg on a hospital campus. The parking availability is awful so I now leave enough time to drive up and down the rows searching for a spot. Just when I think I've found one, I realize that a car next to the empty space is hanging over the line. Yesterday I found this situation 3 times and began to wonder if people are doing this on purpose (maybe they wanted more room to get out of their cars--because the empty spot was always on the passenger side??) I dunno. All I know is it's hot as Hades this week and I'm having to park in the rows farthest away from the bldg & it's makin' me cranky. Are they just crappy at parking or does anyone think they're doing it on purpose (for one reason or another)?

Well, since most of the people there are in PT also, you may be right about them needing extra space. Especially if the passenger is using a walker or crutches and the driver doesn't want them scratching up the other car.  However, if it's the passenger, and this is an issue, you would think the driver could either let the passenger off at the door, or park badly, let the passenger out and then repark correctly.

Wait, my imaginary dyslexia got the best of me again, and I was thinking that the empty spot being on the passenger side meant that they were leaving roomon the passenger side, when you meant the opposite, so then, yeah, they could jsut want extra room.  Especially if they have to swing a wheel chair or walker out from the back seat before they get out. 

I always have an answer even if I have to make things up.

Edited August 11, 2021 by Katy M

[Annber03]

27 minutes ago, MissFeatherbottom said:

I do this too and am totally comfortable just sitting back and taking it all in, but then someone always has to point out that I haven't contributed or I'm being "quiet." I guess that's another pet peeve I have is being called quiet. I feel like it's more acceptable for people to point that out but i rarely hear someone being called "loud." 

I get that a lot, too. I do hear people say, "Do you have to be so loud?" on occasion...but usually it's because the person's being loud in a place where it's a little more awkward to be loud, not because they're being loud in and of itself. 

But yeah, I don't get why people get so bugged about the fact that some people are just quieter and not as talkative in general, and act like there's something wrong with or weird about that. If and when we do want to contribute to a conversation, trust us, you (general "you") will know. Until then, just let us be. 

[MissFeatherbottom]

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

I get that a lot, too. I do hear people say, "Do you have to be so loud?" on occasion...but usually it's because the person's being loud in a place where it's a little more awkward to be loud, not because they're being loud in and of itself. 

But yeah, I don't get why people get so bugged about the fact that some people are just quieter and not as talkative in general, and act like there's something wrong with or weird about that. If and when we do want to contribute to a conversation, trust us, you (general "you") will know. Until then, just let us be. 

Yes!! I don't get it either. I've tried explaining it by saying it's just the way i'm wired but then I still get a confused look, as if they can't imagine someone might not be talkative or outgoing.  And yes, I agree if we want to contribute we will! I can go on and on about a subject that I'm passionate about but will be more quiet otherwise. 

[annzeepark914]

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

Wait, my imaginary dyslexia got the best of me again, and I was thinking that the empty spot being on the passenger side meant that they were leaving room on the passenger side, when you meant the opposite, so then, yeah, they could just want extra room.  Especially if they have to swing a wheel chair or walker out from the back seat before they get out.

These rows are too far away for someone in a wheelchair or on crutches to maneuver their way to the bldg. Now I'm back to my dark suspicions 😎. It's a good thing I'm alone in my car so I can voice my feelings...the air is purple!!!

[Annber03]

2 minutes ago, MissFeatherbottom said:

I can go on and on about a subject that I'm passionate about but will be more quiet otherwise. 

Same :D! But it helps if someone asks me about it first, 'cause otherwise I'd be afraid of coming off annoying or something :p.

There's also the fact that calling attention to the fact that a quiet person isn't speaking up just makes said quiet person even more likely to not want to talk. 'Cause now they've got the spotlight on them and they're beings singled out and made to feel awkward, which, if others want them to feel included, is...not the best way to make that happen. 

[MissFeatherbottom]

Just now, Annber03 said:

Same :D! But it helps if someone asks me about it first, 'cause otherwise I'd be afraid of coming off annoying or something :p.

There's also the fact that calling attention to the fact that a quiet person isn't speaking up just makes said quiet person even more likely to not want to talk. 'Cause now they've got the spotlight on them and they're beings singled out and made to feel awkward, which, if others want them to feel included, is...not the best way to make that happen. 

Yeah it does help sometimes to have them bring up quietness so I can somewhat explain myself, but my coworkers seem to have amnesia from one day to the next and will bring it up again...and that's when it annoys me and I become even more quiet like you mentioned. The strange thing is, us quiet people just want to blend in with everyone else but we do tend to be singled out which makes us more self conscious about it. I'm glad to hear there are more people like me out there, I don't seem to know any personally 🖤

[SoMuchTV]

1 hour ago, Annber03 said:

But yeah, I don't get why people get so bugged about the fact that some people are just quieter and not as talkative in general, and act like there's something wrong with or weird about that. If and when we do want to contribute to a conversation, trust us, you (general "you") will know. Until then, just let us be. 

Many years ago, when I met my then-future-husband's father and stepmother for the first time, after a while one of them said something along the lines of "You're so quiet!  You don't say much!"  Before I could figure out a polite response, the other one chimed in with "Well you don't let her get a word in!".  Arguments ensued. So I was relieved of the need to speak, pretty much for the rest of their lives.