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Pet Peeves: Aka Things That Make You Go "Gah!"


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Your Pet Peeves are your Pet Peeves and you're welcome to express them here. However, that does not mean that you can use this topic to go after your fellow posters; being annoyed by something they say or do is not a Pet Peeve.

If there's something you need clarification on, please remember: it's always best to address a fellow poster directly; don't talk about what they said, talk to them. Politely, of course! Everyone is entitled to their opinion and should be treated with respect. (If need be, check out the how to have healthy debates guidelines for more).

While we're happy to grant the leniency that was requested about allowing discussions to go beyond Pet Peeves, please keep in mind that this is still the Pet Peeves topic. Non-pet peeves discussions should be kept brief, be related to a pet peeve and if a fellow poster suggests the discussion may be taken to Chit Chat or otherwise tries to course-correct the topic, we ask that you don't dismiss them. They may have a point.

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1 hour ago, Moose135 said:

There's more than one way to pronounce Oregon?

OR-uh-g’n vs OR-uh-gone. I think the former is the one preferred by the locals. (As opposed to the New  Jerseyans, I guess).

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15 minutes ago, SoMuchTV said:

OR-uh-g’n vs OR-uh-gone. I think the former is the one preferred by the locals. (As opposed to the New  Jerseyans, I guess).

Northern Californians also cringe at "OR-uh-gone." Definitely still on my Pet Peeve list, and I moved to the Midwest 19 years ago.
Even worse, though, my New Jersey-born and reared Mom used to say "ARE-uh-gone" or, if she was trying very hard, "ARE-uh-g'n."
She made great efforts to avoid any pronunciations that would reveal her Newark origins, and only failed to do so for an hour each week after talking on the phone to her brother, and so just avoided mentioning the name of that sales tax-free state during that hour, lest she utter a Jersey "AWWR-uh-gone."

@SoMuchTV, if there is an award for most understandable spelling of local pronunciations, you win it!

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39 minutes ago, icemiser69 said:

I suppose my current pet peeve is the inability for some to forgive others for saying something that unintentionally offends them.

Also, the inability for some to not be able to deal with others who have a different opinion on a subject than theirs.

1,000 times yes to both of these. Some people actually seem to be looking for reasons to be offended.  Some people think their opinions are facts (actually probably most people think their opinions are facts, but a lot of people can at least keep that attitude to themselves, which, IMO, makes it fine).  And, a lot of people don't realize that 9 times out of 10, if you are screaming at other people about how offensive they are and how wrong they are, then the person screaming is most likely a huge hypocrite, because there is nobody out there that hasn't said something that could be offensive to someone else.  Intent matters and people should pay more attention to intent than random words and actions.

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8 hours ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Midwesterner here, it's Or'-uh-gahn.

Do yourself a favor if you ever visit Oregon, and don't say it that way while you're there.

1 hour ago, icemiser69 said:

I suppose my current pet peeve is the inability for some to forgive others for saying something that unintentionally offends them.

I'm more peeved by the other side of that, where people who said something they didn't realize was offensive go into defensive and denial mode when the offense is pointed out, instead of listening to why the word/expression is received in a different way than they intended and learning they should not say that anymore.

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Peeve #1: charts with not-even-close-to universal icons, and NO KEY. Why does this change from a square to a triangle here? I have no idea!

Peeve #2: photos of vehicles in car listings that look like there's a mark on the body and it's impossible to tell from the photo if it's glare or a reflection of some sort - or a giant scratch in the paint.

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Both pronunciations of "either" (long e or long i) are correct, but it bugs me when Canadian actors playing Americans use the long i pronunciation because it takes me out of the scene while I see them as Canadian actors instead of the American characters they are playing.

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59 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Both pronunciations of "either" (long e or long i) are correct, but it bugs me when Canadian actors playing Americans use the long i pronunciation because it takes me out of the scene while I see them as Canadian actors instead of the American characters they are playing.

That's interesting. I'm American and sometimes I use the long E and somethings the long I.  It depends on where it is in the sentence I guess. If it's just the one word like "which do you want?" "Either."  Or if it's the beginning of a sentence "Either you shut up or I'll kill you" I use the long I.  If it's in the middle of a sentence, "Do either of you want to go to the beach?" Or do you want to go to either classroom?" I use a long E. No idea why.

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That tracks to specific regionalisms, as do most of these pronunciation things. You can see maps that indicate where folks pronounce a certain vowel one way, where they pronounce it a different way, and where people will switch between the two depending on context.

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20 minutes ago, Katy M said:

That's interesting. I'm American and sometimes I use the long E and somethings the long I.  It depends on where it is in the sentence I guess. If it's just the one word like "which do you want?" "Either."  Or if it's the beginning of a sentence "Either you shut up or I'll kill you" I use the long I.  If it's in the middle of a sentence, "Do either of you want to go to the beach?" Or do you want to go to either classroom?" I use a long E. No idea why.

Same -- I never know until I say it whether it will "eeeether" or "eyether".

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1 hour ago, Katy M said:

That's interesting. I'm American and sometimes I use the long E and somethings the long I.  It depends on where it is in the sentence I guess. If it's just the one word like "which do you want?" "Either."  Or if it's the beginning of a sentence "Either you shut up or I'll kill you" I use the long I.  If it's in the middle of a sentence, "Do either of you want to go to the beach?" Or do you want to go to either classroom?" I use a long E. No idea why.

Yeah, it's like AY-pre-kot vs AH-pre-kot for apricot.   

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3 hours ago, theatremouse said:

That tracks to specific regionalisms, as do most of these pronunciation things. You can see maps that indicate where folks pronounce a certain vowel one way, where they pronounce it a different way, and where people will switch between the two depending on context.

Don't even get me started on soda, pop or coke.

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1 hour ago, peacheslatour said:

Don't even get me started on soda, pop or coke.

Or "soft drink" - common in Canadian restaurants, even though most of us say "pop." I guess "pop" is too casual.

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Dawn and Don. I had a friend who repeatedly pronounced them for me to convince me they were different. I never could hear a difference.

My father used to drive me crazy saying, "Yaller." I'd say, "Yellow," and he'd say, "That's what I said." I don't think he was trying to be funny. He just couldn't hear the difference.

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5 hours ago, PRgal said:

Yeah, it's like AY-pre-kot vs AH-pre-kot for apricot.   

I actually don't say either of those - I would say APP-r'cot.  But mostly I just avoid them lately, because now I'm not sure how I really say them.  Along with pecans and almonds.  Maybe even salmon.  Oh and oranges.  My diet is getting more limited by the day.

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13 hours ago, peacheslatour said:

Don't even get me started on soda, pop or coke.

 

12 hours ago, PRgal said:

Or "soft drink" - common in Canadian restaurants, even though most of us say "pop." I guess "pop" is too casual.

Soft drink is coke.  Soda is coke.   Pop is a dumb word and probably means Pepsi.  If your parents move South when you are a child and you get confused and call it soda pop. then they will all mock you for it.  That Is probably why I don't like the word pop.

Coke is a Southern regionalism to make Northerners  that have transplanted to the South understand that Pepsi and Coke are not interchangeable.  And when they still don't get it and ask you if Pepsi is ok because they don't have coke, if you don't say no then you used coke wrong.

Somewhere in this thread I have an entire post explaining how Coca Cola warped the minds of everyone who grew up where their head quarters are based with Machiavellian grocery store sales tactics.

My proof is that Dr Pepper is on the menu of Pepsi owned fast food places.  I put forth that was a capitulation by Pepsi because no one in the South could order off their drink menu. 

Edited by ParadoxLost
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7 minutes ago, ParadoxLost said:

Pop is a dumb word and probably means Pepsi.  

This theory makes sense. I'm from Iowa and we call it "pop" here, and my family liked Pepsi when I was a kid (my mom still drinks it, but it's been a long time since I've had any, myself). I remember saying "soda" once as a kid and people looked at me weird. 

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2 hours ago, auntlada said:

Dawn and Don. I had a friend who repeatedly pronounced them for me to convince me they were different. I never could hear a difference.

Ohhh...Dawn and Don. I love to describe how lots of folks who live (or grew up) within an hour of New York City pronounce these names. You *always* know the difference because we really emphasize the awww in Dawn. Don sounds more like John. This is the land of Cawffee Tawk (SNL skit).  

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11 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Ohhh...Dawn and Don. I love to describe how lots of folks who live (or grew up) within an hour of New York City pronounce these names. You *always* know the difference because we really emphasize the awww in Dawn. Don sounds more like John. This is the land of Cawffee Tawk (SNL skit).  

Yep. Dawn is one of the very few words that betray my New Jersey (fewer than 10 miles from NYC) roots. I try not to do it, but Dawn does sometimes come out of my mouth as Daun.

 

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13 hours ago, auntlada said:

Dawn and Don. I had a friend who repeatedly pronounced them for me to convince me they were different. I never could hear a difference.

 

These 2 names sound nothing alike.

This reminds me of a former coworker of mine who thought Mary, marry and merry all sounded alike when to me they are 3 very different sounding words.

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12 hours ago, JTMacc99 said:

Yep. Dawn is one of the very few words that betray my New Jersey (fewer than 10 miles from NYC) roots. I try not to do it, but Dawn does sometimes come out of my mouth as Daun.

 

Here in Kansas I pronounce Dawn and Don distinctly differently.  Dawn sounds like awe and Don like on as in on and off.

12 hours ago, partofme said:

These 2 names sound nothing alike.

This reminds me of a former coworker of mine who thought Mary, marry and merry all sounded alike when to me they are 3 very different sounding words.

They are all the same to me and I'm not sure how they would be pronounced differently.

Edited by Suzn
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Coke is a Southern regionalism to make Northerners  that have transplanted to the South understand that Pepsi and Coke are not interchangeable. 

I've been told that Coke is shorthand for all soft drinks. "I'll have a Coke."  "7-Up or root beer?

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12 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Ohhh...Dawn and Don. I love to describe how lots of folks who live (or grew up) within an hour of New York City pronounce these names. You *always* know the difference because we really emphasize the awww in Dawn. Don sounds more like John. This is the land of Cawffee Tawk (SNL skit).  

Nothing "wrong" with the "aw" sound, imo. Don and Dawn should be heard/pronounced differently. Grew up in the NJ/NYC area and am tired of people trying to say that the "au" or "aw" sound is always incorrect. "Caught" is not the same as "cot"--unless one is trying to oner-correct or doing a vowel shift.

Language is a complex thing--evolving and dynamic, so that "AWW" sound may disappear completely someday. Google the term "vowel shift" for some interesting reading on the subject.

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3 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Some shopping channel guy pronounces Mary like Mayree, but yeah, beyond that there isn't enough difference to get exercised about imo.

Actually, there's nothing to really get exercised about with any of these differently pronounced words, names, etc.  IMO, they're amusing. Maybe this topic should've been in Chitchat--nothing to get peeved about here.  I never realized I had an accent until my 11th grade English teacher told us we all had a Hudson Valley twang (and provided examples). Gulp. Then I went to school in New England and my roommates laughed at the way I tawked, despite the fact that they had an usual way of speaking (pahking the cah, drinking tawnic--not soda!).  America is a mixed bag of accents, pronunications, etc.

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1 hour ago, partofme said:

These 2 names sound nothing alike.

This reminds me of a former coworker of mine who thought Mary, marry and merry all sounded alike when to me they are 3 very different sounding words.

Getting the popcorn...

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29 minutes ago, annzeepark914 said:

Then I went to school in New England and my roommates laughed at the way I tawked, despite the fact that they had an usual way of speaking (pahking the cah, drinking tawnic--not soda!).  America is a mixed bag of accents, pronunications, etc.

Eastern Mass or Rhode Island.  The rest of New England (OK, maybe just me) laugh at the way they talk too:)

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3 hours ago, Suzn said:

Here in Kansas I pronounce Dawn and Don are distinctly differently.  Dawn sounds like awe and Don like on as in on and off.

They are all the same to me and I'm not sure how they would be pronounced differently.

I can make myself say "on" differently, but I can also hear myself saying "on" and sounding the same as "awen" (where "awen" is one syllable, not aw-en). I also don't hear a difference in Mary, merry and marry. You may, but I don't. If I try, I'll pronounce pen different than pin, but only if I try. If I'm not thinking about it, they sound the same. The same is true for our and are. I know the difference, but in casual conversation, our becomes are.

2 hours ago, annzeepark914 said:

Actually, there's nothing to really get exercised about with any of these differently pronounced words, names, etc.  IMO, they're amusing. Maybe this topic should've been in Chitchat--nothing to get peeved about here.

The peeve for me, as it probably is with everyone else, is people telling me I'm wrong because I don't pronounce those words they way they do. I'm willing to let them pronounce things differently; why can't they let me do the same? Heck, I don't even correct people who mispronounce my name any more even though almost everyone outside my family does.

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To this Canadian (Toronto, Ontario.  Or more specifically, Willowdale (originally, anyway.  We moved further south when I was a teenager), Ontario (because some people from Scarborough sound different.  And it's not because they came to Canada as older kids/teens)), Don and Dawn sound alike, as do Mary and merry.  Marry can sometimes come out as "mah-ree."  

 

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5 hours ago, partofme said:

This reminds me of a former coworker of mine who thought Mary, marry and merry all sounded alike when to me they are 3 very different sounding words.

I knew a teacher many years ago who pronounced "Mary" as "Murry".  Really pissed off all the people in the class who were named "Mary". I'm pretty sure I pronounce Mary and marry the same.  Merry is just slightly different.

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Coke is a Southern regionalism to make Northerners  that have transplanted to the South understand that Pepsi and Coke are not interchangeable.  And when they still don't get it and ask you if Pepsi is ok because they don't have coke, if you don't say no then you used coke wrong.

Quote

I've been told that Coke is shorthand for all soft drinks. "I'll have a Coke."  "7-Up or root beer?

My relatives from the South just call all carbonate stuff "coke"--or "co-cola."

Edited by TattleTeeny
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25 minutes ago, TattleTeeny said:

My relatives from the South just call all carbonate stuff "coke"--or "co-cola."

I remember, when I first moved to Raleigh, asking a co-worker if she wanted anything from the soda machine. She smiled & said that southerners call that machine the "Coke Machine".  I learned a lot of fun sayings in NC,. My absolute favorite, to this day, being "mmm-mmm-mmm". It says so much.

Oh...I forgot about Co-cola in NC, & my southern aunt from Richmond saying ging-ale. Love that.

Edited by annzeepark914
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6 hours ago, partofme said:

These 2 names sound nothing alike.

This reminds me of a former coworker of mine who thought Mary, marry and merry all sounded alike when to me they are 3 very different sounding words.

Dawn/Don and Mary/Merry/Marry are probably the two most well-known regional pronunciation differences there are.  The latter certainly since the Harvard dialect survey in the early '00s, when it became the prime example of vowel merging. 

(The study showed nearly 60% of Americans pronounced them the same, with the rest divided between pronouncing all three differently [usually in the Northeast] or "marry and Mary" the same and "merry" differently.)

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14 hours ago, Quof said:

None of you have lived until you have a relative who insists the day between Friday and Sunday is called "Serrday".  

I did buy a calendar once which I liked a lot until I realized that one of the days in the middle of the week was now Thurrday.

And I taught a class with a Dawn and a Don and it was chaos!

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23 minutes ago, meep.meep said:

And I taught a class with a Dawn and a Don and it was chaos!

My 8th grade math teacher didn't get may name right until May.  Not only did he get my name wrong, he got it wrong differently every single time.  He called me Kathy, Kristy, Kristina, Katy (which I don't go by), Katherine (also not my name), Kaitlin (ditto).  Basically anything that started with a K.  Added to that, I sat on far left side of the room and he would look off to the right side of the room. Not looking at me, wrong name, and I was constantly getting in trouble for "not paying attention."  There was actually a Kristy in the class, but she didn't answer the time he called me that.  I'm still very bitter.

My 11th grade chem teacher called me Kristina all the time, but he looked at me and used a consistent wrong name.

My chorus/music teacher called me by my sister's name. No problem with that, so did my parents.

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4 hours ago, auntlada said:

 If I try, I'll pronounce pen different than pin, but only if I try. If I'm not thinking about it, they sound the same. 

My uncle’s third wife once asked me to get her a pin.  I was about to look for a safety pin when someone told me she wanted a pen.

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Mary, merry, and marry are 3 words with three different pronounciations.  I think NJ is one of the few places for which that is a true statement.  Dawn and Don are also different.  

My favorite interaction with someone from New England involved him looking for his "khakis".  I was completely befuddled - this was not a person who would ever be caught dead in khaki pants.  Turned out he was looking for his car keys.  

I don't have a particularly strong accent I don't think, except on a few words like coffee, chocolate, and talk.  Then it's pretty obvious I was born and raised in central NJ.  

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1 hour ago, janestclair said:

My favorite interaction with someone from New England involved him looking for his "khakis".  I was completely befuddled - this was not a person who would ever be caught dead in khaki pants.  Turned out he was looking for his car keys.  

This is even more hysterical because of "my" khakis (car keys). 
I'm would also be wondering how he lost his pants, and for a moment afraid to look below his neck. 😆

My parents were first and second generation English speakers born and reared in New Yawk and New Joisey neighborhoods who were determined to break with their family ethnicity and blend into WASP neighborhoods. My mother not only corrected our grammar, but our pronunciation as well. I may have nearly accent-less and flawless English, but I am also way too easily peeved by errors of others. But, hey, I'm working on it!

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3 hours ago, janestclair said:

My favorite interaction with someone from New England involved him looking for his "khakis".  I was completely befuddled - this was not a person who would ever be caught dead in khaki pants.  Turned out he was looking for his car keys.  

I lived in Massachusetts for 3 years, & when we first moved there I was talking to someone who took care of the grounds & he kept talking about something that sounded like "bachmuch" (or something like that) to me. He could see that I didn't know what he was talking about & we kept going round in circles until I finally figured out he was saying "bark mulch". It took about 1/2 an hour to work it out. 

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14 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

This is even more hysterical because of "my" khakis (car keys). 
I'm would also be wondering how he lost his pants, and for a moment afraid to look below his neck. 😆

My parents were first and second generation English speakers born and reared in New Yawk and New Joisey neighborhoods who were determined to break with their family ethnicity and blend into WASP neighborhoods. My mother not only corrected our grammar, but our pronunciation as well. I may have nearly accent-less and flawless English, but I am also way too easily peeved by errors of others. But, hey, I'm working on it!

What does "accentless" mean, anyway?  Like, you sound like a broadcaster?  I've had people ask me if I spent any time in the UK because I kind of "sound British."  Can a semester abroad really affect your accent?  Even if you didn't go to a British school (my undergrad Canadian school has property in the UK and it's used either for students to spend their entire first year there OR for a semester of (what's usually) one's third year)?  

Note:  I'm first generation Anglophone, meaning, English is my default language (even though I learned Cantonese (a language I can neither read nor write.  I'm not even sure if I should SAY that it's my first language.  I feel like I'm lying either way on census forms, despite knowing how to speak it fairly well)).  My parents, both from Hong Kong, were both educated IN English (basically, their high schools taught nearly ALL subjects in English, save for Chinese and Chinese history), are fluently bilingual.  

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My parents were first and second generation English speakers born and reared in New Yawk and New Joisey neighborhoods

I have never in my life heard anyone say "Joisey," unless it was someone doing it on purpose.

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