S01.E01: Meet The Bates

[Ilovemylabs]

I have to say I do like this family.  They seem relaxed and generally happy.  The kids each seem to have their own distinct personality.  Kudos to Chad and Erin for the way they are handling their miscarriages.  It can't be easy.  Without going into a lot of details, I know exactly how she feels..  Fortunately for me I ended up with two great kids eventually.  I wish them the very best.  These things test a marriage and I loved it when Chad said though it was sad to lose the baby, it was harder on him to watch Erin's sadness and tears.  My only criticism is that Erin shouldn't chew gum on camera.  Even my husband said he's like to see more of the Bates.

[Barb23]

I really enjoyed the episode. Gil & Kelly know their children & their personalities. I forgot what daughter they were describing but I laughed when Gil said "she can do your business cards and do your taxes." I was so glad we didn't have to hear Kelly say at the beginning "and I gave birth to every one of them." It was so refreshing to see how a real mom with that many children handles the household. Yes, Kelly needs help but she still took charge of what needed to be done, whether it was just cooking dinner or planning the baby shower. She was doing the laundry with the help of the younger kids. She was INVOLVED in what was going on. It was so nice to see the kids laughing & goofing around with one another - not just robots on autopilot.

[Maya]

Looks like they use paper plates and cups like the Duggers. The little kids look dirty too.

[VioletNevermind]

I had no idea that this show even existed until I saw a preview for it while watching a Supernanny rerun this afternoon.  I was kind of shocked to see that the Bates are taking another stab at reality TV.  As others have said, a few things were very refreshing when viewed through the Duggar lens.  The Bates are almost ridiculously normal and real.  Kelly is a true mom: no crazy eyes, no ferociously-protected "me time," no sanctimonious proselytizing to the kids at every opportunity.  She genuinely seems to enjoy her children.  The kids are a pleasant surprise, too.  For starters, they act like kids, for lack of a better description.  In particular, the girls don't act like brainless automatons, only there to cook TTC, raise their unruly siblings, and otherwise act as indentured servants.  My heart hurts every time I see Jana Duggar shoving yet another huge pan of food into the industrial oven while her younger siblings gallivant and enjoy things that every young person should be doing.  Unless we just haven't seen it yet, I didn't notice a trace of that with the Bates.  Kelly is right in there with everyone else, working, unlike J'Chelle, who would rather do anything but laundry or, God forbid, cook a meal for her children.

 

Now for the issues that I see.  The Bates may be refreshingly normal, but at the end of the day, they're still just another Bible-thumping family with 19 kids (and counting?).  Based on the previews for next week's episode, we will be treated to explanations of how the bride and groom have "decided to save their first kiss for marriage."  Been there, done that, got the t-shirt.  I think these similarities are exactly what sunk the Bates' other show.  It's just more of the same, although slightly less annoying and off-putting.  That brings me to my final point.  I am convinced that most of the reason why the Duggars' show is so popular is that people are interested in the train wreck aspects of it.   Whether they like it or not, the Bates will always be compared to the Duggars, as I'm sure they're aware.  I don't see this show succeeding.

Edited January 2, 2015 by SuzyLee

[Sew Sumi]

I think being on this "Christian" channel may help the Bateses survive. They can openly espouse a lot of the views that the Duggars can't, being on a mainstream channel. I found the On Demand listing (don't have UP, but found it when I searched shows, so try that...NOW! I could only watch it this evening since the show expires at midnight), but it doesn't have the previews. I heard that they were going to show the doctor talking about miscarriages (plural), so maybe we'll get a few more details about Erin's condition, updated to fairly recently. They were filming as recently as two weeks ago, going by Bates family IG accounts. They also have 12 episodes to fill. Does anyone know if they're all going to be one hour, or was that just the premiere? 

[andromeda331]

I thought it was a pretty good episode but I did like their first show too. Its amazing how different they are from the Duggars. The parents act like parents and the kids act like kids. They seem so relaxed and normal with each other. Its obvious that they actually like each other and spending time with each other. I felt for Erin as she talked about her miscarriage and how hard the baby shower was and learning her sister was pregnant. I liked the way Alyssa announced her pregnancy it was simple and the reactions felt normal. I did notice the grandmother's reaction too, although she recovered quickly, she's so not on board with this lifestyle. On a completely shallow note the Bates girls are really pretty.

Edited January 2, 2015 by andromeda331

[Misslindsey]

They did seem far more relaxed than the Duggars, which was easier to watch than Jim Bob and Michelle. That car accident looked bad, I am surprised Trace got out of it without a scratch.

 

I only really know what I have seen on the Duggar's show about the Bates family. So were Zach, Erin, and Alyssa's spouses all fundie too? Also, did Alyssa move to Florida for her husband's job or something?

[gunderda]

Thank GOD Erin got rid of her high baby voice. I was so happy to hear that she actually has a normal voice. 

[farmgal4]

This family is a breath of fresh air after having the Duggars shoved down our throats by TLC for so many years. I love the parents, the single kids, the married couples; I love them all! I especially love the little girl who had the braids wrapped around her head, she looked about 3 years old. I don't know her name but she is absolutely adorable!

Edited to add: I'm thrilled to see the mother actually doing what mothers are supposed to do vs. Michelle, who does a whole lot of nothing.

Edited January 2, 2015 by farmgal4

[anstar]

I am happy that the Bates family got another show. I like them better than the Duggars. They feel more natural and honest.  There is just something genuine about this family that the Duggars are missing.  When Kelly talks about her love for her family, I believe her.  When Michelle does it, I feel like she's reading from a script.  Take the car accident.  You could almost see Kelly's heart stop for a second when she heard.  This vs. Michelle's inappropriate cackling and video recording her child crying and bleeding at the bottom of the orchestra pit when he fell in. (I can't remember which one it was.) Or when Jordyn got her little head stuck in the stair railing and JB actually had to tell her it wasn't funny.

My heart broke for Erin.  I was impressed with the way she handled herself though. She's not hiding her pain, but she's also genuinely happy for Whitney and Zach and isn't withdrawing from life.  Her family is gentle with her, but continuing with their lives as well. Hurting for Erin doesn't mean you can't be happy for Alyssa.  Their strong family bond will get them through.

 

Zach carries a gun, so is an actual deputy for the sheriff's department it looks like...at least as a reserve.  The copycat Duggars (who got the EMT idea from the Bates family well) clearly got the law enforcement (and allowing girls to court) ideas here, but is John David armed?! What a frightening thought.

 

One thing that surprised me was that this very musical family doesn't sing their own opening song this time. (Not that I'm complaining)

[Dejana]

No need to wonder about birth order here, it's right on the screen along with the name.

 

Alyssa seems older than 19. Zach just looks like he's in his mid-30s.

 

Interesting to see so many bachelor brothers in the family. I guess the Bateses want the sons to be able to provide for a family before arranging courtships for them?

[Hero]

The Bates boys are so much better looking than the Duggar boys. Even the Bates girls are much better looking than the Duggar girl's

Edited January 2, 2015 by Suzy123

[riverblue22]

Kelly and Gil Bates are certainly better looking than Michelle and Jim Bob!

[Ilovemylabs]

In the coming attractions Kelly says, "They've decided to save their first kiss for the wedding."  Was she referring the Michaella?  And then you see a couple in an embrace and the guy puts up his hand and asks the cameraman to stop filming.  I was a bit confused.  Who was that?  They seemed to be sharing a full frontal hug even if they were not married.

[glow]

I wish this was on demand or you could pay to watch the episode. I'd like to watch this but I can't.

[Sew Sumi]

In the coming attractions Kelly says, "They've decided to save their first kiss for the wedding."  Was she referring the Michaella?  And then you see a couple in an embrace and the guy puts up his hand and asks the cameraman to stop filming.  I was a bit confused.  Who was that?  They seemed to be sharing a full frontal hug even if they were not married.

That was Brandon, Michael's boyfriend (probably fiancee by now). 

 

As for the Bateses being more palatable, a lot of that is producer-manipulated (compare Kelly's reaction to Trace's crash to Mechelle's reaction to Jason falling in the orchestra pit). We also have to remember that Gil Bates still sits on the Board of Directors of the cult that both they and the Duggars belong to. Gil Bates saw all the information regarding Gothard abusing scores of girls over the years, yet still sent his daughters off in his care on a mission to Peru. Being more friendly actually lures more people into the cult. From what I see on social media, the leghumpers have NO clue, thinking the Bateses are just "great Christian examples" and whatnot. 

 

TBH, they're actually more dangerous than the Duggars; the devil you know vs. the one you don't. 

 

Someone asked about girls' husbands/boyfriend. They're all derived from the cult. And there are rumors that Kelly tried to shop Zach around IBLP circles when she first got wind of the Zach/Whitney "friendship." I guess after the failed courtship, he may have been considered "damaged goods" amongst them, even with him being the son of a powerful man in the cult structure. 

[Almost 3000]

It looks like UPtv is uploading all their episodes and promos so you may subscribe to their You Tube channel for all the updates. The first episode is up: "Bringing Up Bates | Season 1 Episode 1 | Meet the Bates"

I didn't check if they're on UPtvs site too.

 

eta I bolded the info because several people were asking or looking for it that don't have UPtv.

Edited January 3, 2015 by Almost 3000

[Kiss my mutt]

Thank you so much, Almost 3000!

[OpieTaylor]

A couple of thoughts:  the Bateses have really good eyebrows, I noticed them on several of the boys and girls (esp. Erin). Kelly has them too, so the kids must've gotten them from her.  Someone said they thought there was Native American in the family somewhere and I do see an exotic look to some of the kids.  Most of them are very attractive.

 

I agree with all who are saying how much more natural and "real" the Bateses seem compared to the Duggars.  But most of the Bateses haven't grown up on TV (although it's been going on for a few years now).  It'll be interesting to see if the family stays as likeable a few years from now, assuming their show lasts. 

[cereality]

I just watched the episode, and maybe it's just me but I have the distinct impression that Chad and Erin are not doing well. Sure Erin was incredibly gracious and said the right things, but you can see the hurt; Chad was teary each time he said "it isn't easy" and even at the shower itself Chad looked pretty down -- almost more than Erin who I guess was busier running around getting stuff done. It would honestly be easier if they didn't live 5 min down the road for the rest of the family. It must be hard from Gil and Kelly and Zach and Whitney's perspective too -- they all seem very caring and of course don't want to flaunt the pregnancy/new grandchild in front of Chad and Erin, but then they also don't want to not give Erin roles in the baby shower or not invite them to stuff because that'll make Chad and Erin feel like "wow -- I guess we're not as important because we can't make a baby right now." I think the only way Erin could step back is if Erin herself said to her mother and sisters -- I'm happy to stop by the shower for a little while but I'm not up for planning it. But I do believe her and Chad when they say they are happy for Zach and Whitney and want to make them feel special; I don't sense any jealousy just more of a "why not us."

 

John does not look the least bit comfortable around the Bates family. I don't blame him, as he hasn't spent much time around them -- long distance courting and this baby shower was his first trip back since the wedding. But you could see when they were surrounded during the pregnancy announcement and then when he had kids climbing all over him, he had no clue what to do. I wonder if Alyssa is a little bit "relieved" to be further away. The sisters were so shocked that she "hid" the pregnancy for 12 weeks and told friends first and Alyssa herself said that she went shopping for the shirt with her sister in law so the Websters knew -- I wonder if she likes the relative "privacy" of not having her entire family in her business all the time.

[Fuzzysox]

ITA with everything that you guys have said.

 

I watched it today on YouTube. I actually liked it. They seem more at ease with each other and know each other better then the Duggars know each other.

 

And I did mention that Kelly wasn't excited about the Zach/Whitney "friendship" but I erased it. I do remember reading about she didn't like her much. I guess it's water under the bridge now. They can't make Zach marry someone that he didn't love so having a good relationship to me is more important.

 

Poor Erin I feel so bad for her watching everyone get pregnant quickly but not being able to stay pregnant. I was happy to see that she is actually going to a real doctor (science yikes) to help her hopefully carry a full pregnancy. I doubt the Duggars would do that they would just continue to pray.

 

I think in the end they do come off as being more loving. caring and have a lot more class then the Duggars. Kelly is at least concerned about feeding people that are coming over vs. having TTC, a salad and some frozen fruit and calling it a day in Duggarland. *shudder*

 

I'll continue to watch. I find them interesting.

[cereality]

Kelly just seems more like a "real" mom in that she runs the household; sure they have the same view that the older girls help do the work -- part of that is probably fundie belief and part is probably just necessity of having so many people at home. Like a regular mom, she cares that people eat. For the baby shower, she was planning out a decent menu -- chicken salad, deli sandwiches, chips and dip, and a few other things. Even for the regular dinner at home, she said to the girls that she'd rather have too much food with leftovers than not enough. I'm not sure the Duggars put that much thought into their wedding menus, let alone a baby shower or a regular weekend dinner for the family.

 

And when Trace had the accident, her reactions were very "real" -- insisting she come home, wondering if he was really ok or if Gil was just try to "protect" her etc. And Trace is a grown kid -- not sure how old but at least a teen. The reaction was very real compared to Michelle who has had LITTLE kids in accidents/incidents -- falling into the orchestra pit, getting stuck in the staircase, getting lost at Newark Airport -- and her reactions were laughing like a loon and/or handing the kid off to whichever sister mom he belonged to. The Bates seem like a genuinely tight family -- Whitney and Zach live by themselves and could just have been told about the accident later, but they were called right away, I believed Whitney when she said she was panicked, and Zach and Whitney went right over to the accident site rather than just saying -- oh he's ok, we'll see him at home or at the shower later. 

[gunderda]

Anyone notice how it seemed that Erin and Chad were absent when Alyssa announced she was pregnant? I didn't see them in any of the shots but seems weird they wouldn't have been there

[Fuzzysox]

Maybe Chad and Erin were there but Erin was crying and got cropped out? IDK poor girl deserves to have babies so many undeserving people have kids that they don't want non stop and Chad and Erin who would love and cherish a baby can't have one, just breaks my heart.

[cereality]

It's not clear when Alyssa announced the pregnancy, but it seemed like it may have been when they went back to the house after the baby shower (bc it seems like Kelly first saw Alyssa at the shower -- so it doesn't seem like they were at the house earlier); it also seemed that way because relatives were coming into the house after the announcement -- her grandparents etc. It is quite possible that Chad and Erin were emotionally spent after the baby shower and decided to go home for the evening or just for a while before reconvening at her parents' house or it's possible they just hadn't arrived at the house yet. Of course it's possible that they wanted to remain off camera and/or have their reactions edited out if they got teary. 

 

I honestly do believe that they aren't jealous of the couples having babies, it's just that they so desperately want one of their own that everytime someone else has one -- it opens up the hurt again. This is one of the huge huge downsides of being raised fundie -- you are raised to believe that as a woman, your worth comes from procreating and you only get married to have baby after baby immediately. If they were living in the real world, no one would bat an eye at a 22-26 yr old couple married last here who didn't have kids yet. Hell -- most people wouldn't even realize they were trying already and would figure they were just adjusting to married life for now. And outside of fundie world they wouldn't be around couples who were marrying and having kids immediately -- their peer group would include singles, boyfriend/girlfriends, and some just marrieds so it wouldn't be this constant "comparison."

Also if she is "only" having trouble staying pregnant (not with getting pregnant - as demonstrated by the fact that she's been pregnant 3 times in one year), don't they have drugs for that? I wonder if they are going to fertility docs etc. bc who knows -- maybe there is a simple solution. They really really want a baby, and I hope they do whatever is medically necessary because they don't deserve to live with this kind of pain forever; there are couples who you can tell are more -- we want kids but if it doesn't happen, we'll survive. They are not like that -- maybe now they are giving up their dreams of having 8 or 10, but I don't think they can imagine their lives without 1 or 2 kids.

[ChaChaSlide]

That was Brandon, Michael's boyfriend (probably fiancee by now). 

 

As for the Bateses being more palatable, a lot of that is producer-manipulated (compare Kelly's reaction to Trace's crash to Mechelle's reaction to Jason falling in the orchestra pit). We also have to remember that Gil Bates still sits on the Board of Directors of the cult that both they and the Duggars belong to. Gil Bates saw all the information regarding Gothard abusing scores of girls over the years, yet still sent his daughters off in his care on a mission to Peru. Being more friendly actually lures more people into the cult. From what I see on social media, the leghumpers have NO clue, thinking the Bateses are just "great Christian examples" and whatnot. 

 

TBH, they're actually more dangerous than the Duggars; the devil you know vs. the one you don't. 

 

Someone asked about girls' husbands/boyfriend. They're all derived from the cult. And there are rumors that Kelly tried to shop Zach around IBLP circles when she first got wind of the Zach/Whitney "friendship." I guess after the failed courtship, he may have been considered "damaged goods" amongst them, even with him being the son of a powerful man in the cult structure.

ITA with everything youve said, especially the bolded. Gil and Kelly know what they are doing, unlike JB and J'chelle they are effectively "sharing their ministry", the more approachable and normal they seem as a family the more they have a chance at actually persuading families to their way of life.

Gil, just like Jim Bob continued to send his minor daughters to a dangerous cult leader.

Gil had to actually depend on Lawson "loaning" him money from his business so the family could make it.

Gil and Kelly pursue television for their family, even after seeing how it has affected the Duggar kids; who opens their children up to online bullying and fan obsession just for money?

Finally, Gil and Kelly had pictures of both Robert E. Lee and Nathan Bedford Forrest in their home during the United Bates of America show, but when viewers start to complain they took them down. Thats a HUGE red flag to me, I can *somewhat* understand Gen. Lee, but Nathan was known for having only joined the Confederate Army out of his hate for blacks, he led an infamous battle where he had his men slaughter black Union soldiers while letting the white Union soldiers live. He is also notorious for being the first Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan. Its disgusting that he was presented to the Bates kids as someone to admire, a hero of all things. Not to mention that Kelly has black sisters, I can only imagine how G&B presented them to their nieces and nephews, if they were even allowed to be around.

The Bates IMO are infinitely worse than the Duggars. At least they are up front with their hate and beliefs, the Bates are trying to schmooze people over with warmth and "down-to-earthiness", and that just doesnt sit right with me when they hate just as much, if not more than the Duggars do. Don't get caught up in their hype as the "better Duggars". All the love and care in the world does not matter when you are teaching your children to hate others not only due to sexual orientation, but to race as well.

[cereality]

Wait . . . Kelly has black sisters? How do we know this? Is Kelly adopted or are her sisters adopted? Do they live in Tn?

[Fuzzysox]

Wait . . . Kelly has black sisters? How do we know this? Is Kelly adopted or are her sisters adopted? Do they live in Tn?

Kelly has an adopted sister but I don't know much about her. I have never heard that she has more then one adopted sister. Hmm need to research this.

 

 

***scroll down and it mentions her family tree:

 

http://www.freejinger.org/forums/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=11414&start=100

Edited January 4, 2015 by Fuzzysox

[ChaChaSlide]

Wait . . . Kelly has black sisters? How do we know this? Is Kelly adopted or are her sisters adopted? Do they live in Tn?

Yep she has two adopted black sisters. Not sure if they live in TN. Regardless of blood status, im just incredulous to Kelly actively supporting a symbol of hate like that. The freejinger thread about the "United Bates of America", their TLC show will really open your eyes as to what theyre really about.

[CarolMK]

I like the fact that the married couples have their own houses and I don't think that the parents gave the houses to them. Unless I'm missing something, it looks like the 3 married couples are self sufficient. Compare that to the Duggars, all 3 of their married children had houses given to them.

[cereality]

I like the fact that the married couples have their own houses and I don't think that the parents gave the houses to them. Unless I'm missing something, it looks like the 3 married couples are self sufficient. Compare that to the Duggars, all 3 of their married children had houses given to them.

The ones who've married so far have jobs separate and apart from Gil, so they have outside paychecks -- not just what dad/dad in law can provide. I think Zach worked for the county/city for a while and now seems to be a cop/sheriff's office employee; I don't know if she actually works but Whitney is trained to do medical transcription which is something that can be done freelance from home so maybe that brings in a few extra dollars. Chad works for some kind of metals company/plant and Erin supplements that income by giving piano lessons. John works in his brothers/family's heating/air conditioning business. While none of those salaries may be huge, they are more than enough for a couple starting out to put a down payment on a small house or to rent a house or apartment -- which is what all 3 couples appear to be doing.

 

I'm not sure what Lawson, Trace, and Nathan will end up doing, as they all seem to be involved with Gil's tree service and I'm not sure that that business can support Gil's own family plus 3 other families should the boys marry and want to remain in that business. It's possible that the Bates have talked with their kids -- esp with their sons -- about how they MUST be self sufficient before they marry because mom and dad can't create a job for them that provides a living wage for them and their wife and kids. It's not like the Duggars -- JB has enough TLC money that he has business interests, so it's "easy" for him to "create" a job for Josh at a car lot or start up a towing business for JD or even create a job for a son in law. Gil and family are more stretched given that they don't have a decade of TV income to fall back on.

[Literata]

I'm not into their ultra-fundie beliefs, but there seems to be a lot of genuine love in that family. I worry about the son who's clearly gay and trying not to be, but other than that, I so prefer them to the Duggars, hands-down.

But, please, everyone -- one Bates is a Bates. More than one Bates are Bateses. There is no such thing as "the Bates'". It's not "the Bates' house," it's "the Bateses' house." For sure, absolutely, no exceptions.

[allonsyalice]

I'm never going to be over how Kelly Jo seems to know her children (unlike, say, Michelle) 

Also, I am never going to agree with their lifestyle and stuff, but this family is so sweet.

Also, Erin seems to have grown up a lot. (but I guess what she's gone through will do that to a person.)

[MunichNark]

Finally able to watch it on You Tube - I did like it.

 

I don't agree with their lifestyle or views, but they are more likeable than the Duggars. Kelly actually gives a damn about her children and all of them were able to express themselves freely.

 

The girls seem very self confident and have a certain bossiness about them, they won't suffer fools gladly I'd say. But they aren't dead like the Duggar kids ,and  are doing things for themselves.

 

Having said that, yes, they still believe in weird things and Gil must have known about the allegations.....

I don't seem to see their kids much around those Alert/Heart journey things, I know some of the girls have been, but the Duggars seem to go more often?

[Bean421]

Finally, Gil and Kelly had pictures of both Robert E. Lee and Nathan Bedford Forrest in their home during the United Bates of America show, but when viewers start to complain they took them down. Thats a HUGE red flag to me, I can *somewhat* understand Gen. Lee, but Nathan was known for having only joined the Confederate Army out of his hate for blacks, he led an infamous battle where he had his men slaughter black Union soldiers while letting the white Union soldiers live. He is also notorious for being the first Grand Dragon of the Ku Klux Klan. Its disgusting that he was presented to the Bates kids as someone to admire, a hero of all things. Not to mention that Kelly has black sisters, I can only imagine how G&B presented them to their nieces and nephews, if they were even allowed to be.

Yep she has two adopted black sisters. Not sure if they live in TN. Regardless of blood status, im just incredulous to Kelly actively supporting a symbol of hate like that. The freejinger thread about the "United Bates of America", their TLC show will really open your eyes as to what theyre really about.

This has seriously blown my mind! If the show lasts long enough I hope they have an opportunity to explore their extended family relationships.

[Sew Sumi]

I've looked around on YouTube, but can't find the link to the episode. I thought I read that UP would have it, but all I saw were the promos and "special" videos. Can someone help a girl out here? 

[allonsyalice]

I've looked around on YouTube, but can't find the link to the episode. I thought I read that UP would have it, but all I saw were the promos and "special" videos. Can someone help a girl out here? 

I don't actually watch on youtube, I tried as well. I actually use delishows.to, which has the links up within a couple of days.

[Almost 3000]

I've looked around on YouTube, but can't find the link to the episode. I thought I read that UP would have it, but all I saw were the promos and "special" videos. Can someone help a girl out here? 

Bringing Up Bates Season 1 Episode 1

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ETS8GalLkns

It looks like a couple of people have uploaded it.

[trimthatfat]

The Bates boys are so much better looking than the Duggar boys. Even the Bates girls are much better looking than the Duggar girl's

I was about to say this. Everyone is quite attractive.

 

I think the Bates and the Duggars are more alike than they are dissimilar, but I do appreciate that while I do think the girls are expected to be housewives after marriage, Gil and Kelly don't seem bothered by the children having jobs outside of the home. I also like that when the parents were giving run-downs of all of the children and their personalities, you could tell they really know their kids. A nice change from Michelle Duggar describing her children so generally, like 'sweet' and 'kind'.

 

Another thing that I liked was that one of the children (Tori?) talked about how if someone doesn't like her cooking, they can sit down and shut their mouth and eat her food, or make their own. I find the sassy personalities refreshing.

Edited January 4, 2015 by trimthatfat

[CarolMK]

I thought one of the boys , maybe Nathan, wanted to be a minister? And was Lawson the one who had his own landscaping business? I do think that all of the Bates boys appear to be more prepared for the future than the Duggar boys. It seems like the Duggar boys will need help from Jim Bob to get into a home business or whatever he has in mind for them. It doesn't appear that the Bates parents want to totally control their children's career choices, at least from what I have observed so far. Zach got the job of county commisionner or sheriff, (not sure exactly what his job is) without the help of Gil and Kelly, didn't he?

[cereality]

It's possible that Gil and Kelly are preaching self sufficiency from the time the kids -- esp the boys -- are young. At the end of the day, they know they don't have TLC money like their friend JB, so even if they wanted to -- they can't just set up their older boys with a car lot or a towing business or decide that the income from one of the cell phone towers or rental properties goes to a certain son. Sure Gil may be able to take on 1-2 of the boys full time in the tree business, but even then it doesn't seem like he can divide that income 10 different ways, esp. since he has 16 of his own kids at home to support. Thus Gil and Kelly may be telling the boys from a young age that they need to figure out something to do so that they can get married and take on a wife and kids -- maybe for Lawson his own lawn business will be enough; for Zach that means working for the city/county; for Nathan that may mean the ministry. I'm guessing a few of the boys will end up at the same metals company where Chad works.

 

I think that need for funds is also why they don't balk at their daughters figuring out something they want to do. Now -- they're cut from the same fundie cloth so I'm not thinking they'd be ok with a girl who wanted to go to med school or work in a construction business around men. But I think they are ok with their girls preparing for standard "female" jobs -- so Erin probably brings in some extra money for her household with piano lessons and Michaela is a nanny 5 days a week, which at least pays for her personal expenses which would be hard for Gil to cover all the time -- like flights to Michigan to see Brandon and inevitably the new clothes or haircut she wants when she is about to go on such trips.

[BitterApple]

I sensed a weird vibe between Kelly and Whitney. It's interesting to read that Kelly wasn't initially on board with the courtship. I also don't think I would have made my heavily pregnant SIL stand at a stove and peel 10 lbs. of potatoes, but that's just me.

 

It's odd because even though the Bateses are hard-core Fundie, the kids seem a lot more mainstream. When the one girl referred to Zach as "cray-cray" I thought yeah, they're looking up more than Bible quotes on their iPhones.

 

I chuckled when Kelly noted they would need to serve real food at the shower because it was scheduled during lunch time. The Duggars would have been clueless to something like that.

[JessDVD]

I didn't realize Michaela's beau is from Michigan (I am too). Does anyone know his last name or where he lives in Michigan?

[trimthatfat]

I forgot to mention this, but I found it interesting that one of the sisters mentioned that Alyssa told other people (non-family members) that she was pregnant before her family.

[CarolMK]

I think that one reason that the kids seem more mainstream than the Duggars is that both the parents seem to be more normal than Jim Bob and Michelle Duggar. The Bates are fine with going to a local church, they didn't mind when their oldest son married a woman he found on his own without parental involvement and they also seem to be okay with their children having more mainstream jobs like Zack working as a sheriff and their son in law Chad working at a metal factory. It seems like the Duggars are super controlling...look at how Michelle freaked out when Ben and Jessa held hands during a simple dinner prayer. Jim Bob insists on approving a man before his daughters can even go on date and  on announcing that their kid saved their first kiss for their wedding day, and on and on. If I recall, it was the Bates who had both Zach and Michaella as volunteer firefighers/first responders before the Duggars thought it was all right for their children to volunteer as well. It seems that the Duggars do not allow their kids to make any meaningful decision on their own...everything has to be approved by Mom and Dad. I don't see the Bates as nearly as controlling. I also tend to think that the Bates parents are more relaxed and happier with each other than Jim Bob and MIchelle...Jim Bob always has to prove to the audience how great he is and how much he loves Michelle by constantly making out with her on camera. 

[Ilovemylabs]

I'm not into their ultra-fundie beliefs, but there seems to be a lot of genuine love in that family. I worry about the son who's clearly gay and trying not to be, but other than that, I so prefer them to the Duggars, hands-down.

But, please, everyone -- one Bates is a Bates. More than one Bates are Bateses. There is no such thing as "the Bates'". It's not "the Bates' house," it's "the Bateses' house." For sure, absolutely, no exceptions.

I must have missed something.  How do you know one son is 'clearly gay'?  Please do not name names if he is under 18.

[BitterApple]

I just watched the episode, and maybe it's just me but I have the distinct impression that Chad and Erin are not doing well.

I agree. Naturally any woman would be devastated to suffer multiple miscarriages, but Chad and Erin seem to be taking it very personally, as if they did something wrong and are being punished. I guess we're seeing the flip side of what happens when you're raised to believe your favor with God is reflected in how many children you have.

[Sew Sumi]

In response to a post above (too long to quote), the Bateses do NOT attend a "local church." They used to "have church" in a local nursing home, but a couple of years ago, Gil branched out and started his own church. Services are at a local Holiday Inn. They have admitted to following the IFB (Independent Fundamentalist) sect of Baptists, and I believe this church follows those tenets. I think there's a link to the church on their upgraded blog. At any rate, they admit to something, which is more than the Duggars have done, which is why people think they're mainstream or Southern Baptists (which we know is NOT the case). 

[Absolom]

Actually the Bateses attended a real church for years before Gil started experimenting with starting his own church.  There were photos and videos posted of them singing at a regular church that Gil said they attended.  

 

ETA:  Sadly little Clinton, TN, already had at least three IFB churches before Gil decided he needed to begin his own church.  I wonder if they tried all three plus some SBC churches and none quite fit their/his interpretations.

Edited January 6, 2015 by Absolom

[trimthatfat]

To me, Erin looks gutted about not being able to carry a pregnancy to term. While I think Chad is sad as well, I also think he would be very supportive of Erin if she said she wanted to take a break from trying to conceive. Unfortunately, when you embrace a culture where the mindset is 'babies, babies, babies', you're placing a huge burden on women. A lot of women actually experience difficulty conceiving their first year of marriage so Erin is not alone in that respect.