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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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Hey everybody- cliff notes, my godmother is in the hospital. I took the day off from work to drive my mom down there to meet with the medical team and take her some of her belongings. She says she feels better but she is very weak and frail. She asked me to keep her purse for her (which of course I will do). 
 

I am glad she is where she can receive proper care and she feels safe and cared for here. 

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14 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Hey everybody- cliff notes, my godmother is in the hospital. I took the day off from work to drive my mom down there to meet with the medical team and take her some of her belongings. She says she feels better but she is very weak and frail. She asked me to keep her purse for her (which of course I will do). 
 

I am glad she is where she can receive proper care and she feels safe and cared for here. 

Hugs, @Scarlett45

I’m glad that she’s being cared for and that she has you and your mom, but damn that’s hard. 😔

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7 hours ago, QuinnInND said:

I probably should read hers too, but I don't want to push my blood pressure to dangerous levels. I know it's going to be "I'm sorry about what happened and what I let happen, but I was trapped blah blah blah". Yeah, I know all about being trapped in an abusive situation and being well and truly stuck with nowhere to turn. But I didn't have a child or children at the time. It was just me. I'd walk through bubbling lava barefoot before I'd allow anyone to hurt my children. I'd blow the son of a bitch away myself. I don't want to listen to a bunch of excuses from her that don't cut it with me.  And, to clarify, I'm not bad mouthing any woman who is stuck with an abuser and has children (or not) and has nowhere to turn.  I'm speaking for my mother and our situation and the way I feel about our situation.  I'll probably have my husband read it first. 

Off to make sure my kids are logged in and ready for school, try and login to my class and get the school day started. Hopefully all my tiny humans will be in class today. Have a good day, everyone! 

Wait! Did you read your sisters and I missed it? 

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3 minutes ago, NotthebadVictoria said:

I’ll go look for it! I’ve been down here in Texas without power and water for about 6 days total, I’m back to life now 😂🤦🏻‍♀️.

Glad your lights and water are back on. Hugs to everyone in Texas. 

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8 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Whatever you decide to do with the letter and relationship with your mother is up to you.  You were the victim.  Some scars never heal.

It sounds like you have made a good life with and for your family.  

I too had to walk away and once I did...I never looked back.  I just couldn't.

Hugs and understanding!

Thank you. It's been a long road, but I love my life and the family I have. 

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Whelp, the robovac reappeared 🤔 I came back from walking my dog, and it was buzzing around the apartment. And then within a few minutes it wondered back to its dock and plugged itself in. I mean, ok. Just a robovac, living its life.

Or really, her life. Her name is Roxi.

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11 minutes ago, rue721 said:

Whelp, the robovac reappeared 🤔 I came back from walking my dog, and it was buzzing around the apartment. And then within a few minutes it wondered back to its dock and plugged itself in. I mean, ok. Just a robovac, living its life.

Or really, her life. Her name is Roxi.

Mine is named Hazel.  The dog loves her 😄

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I made a major decision this weekend. A little background: my youngest son is 28, lives with me, and has both schizophrenia and a massive sense of entitlement. The last is my fault because I've literally spoiled him rotten. For the last year I've been working on making him more independent and he's been fighting it tooth and nail. Our house is a disgusting mess. Not hoarder disgusting, but he won't do anything and I've given up. I stay in my room and only clean things as I need to use them and no one is allowed in the house because I'm too ashamed of the way it looks and smells. Plus, he expects me to feed him what he wants, do his laundry, and buy him things when he's spent his own money.

Friday I went out of my way to please him while he promised to clean the cat box & take out the trash. Saturday none of this was done but he insisted that he needed something else I would have to go get & pay for and I kind of snapped. I told him I was no longer his mom, I was his roommate and I was done rewarding his slovenly ways and disrespect by catering to his every need. It's been so freeing telling him no, he can get a taxi, use Dial-a-ride, get his driver's license, save his money, and effing grow-up because acting like a spoiled 13-year-old at 28 was no longer okay. I've finally figured out that I can't change him, I can only change me.

Disclaimer: I love this kid to death. We have the same sense of humor, like the a lot of the same things, and generally get along great. He treats me this way because I taught him that it was okay. Because of his mental illness and paranoia, he has a hard time leaving the house and doesn't have many real-life friends, so he doesn't have good social skills. Anyway, sorry for writing a novel.

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1 hour ago, rue721 said:

Whelp, the robovac reappeared 🤔 I came back from walking my dog, and it was buzzing around the apartment. And then within a few minutes it wondered back to its dock and plugged itself in. I mean, ok. Just a robovac, living its life.

Or really, her life. Her name is Roxi.

Does it have a locate function? Ours does. I can make mine beep so I can find it if it gets lost somewhere. Mine has gotten stuck under the couch a couple times. 

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1 hour ago, rue721 said:

Whelp, the robovac reappeared 🤔 I came back from walking my dog, and it was buzzing around the apartment. And then within a few minutes it wondered back to its dock and plugged itself in. I mean, ok. Just a robovac, living its life.

Or really, her life. Her name is Roxi.

Ours used to be a cat ride.  Cats would bat at it to get it to the right spot to jump on.

Edited by Absolom
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3 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

My day has been a bit melancholy. I will happily say that for the first time my grandchildren texted me a happy birthday. 

I'm sorry for the melancholy birthday. May next year be so awesome it totally blocks out the past year. 

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4 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

My day has been a bit melancholy. I will happily say that for the first time my grandchildren texted me a happy birthday. 

Happy birthday! 🎂🎉💐🎊 How nice to hear from the grandkids.

I think we are all a bit melancholy now....especially around holidays and our birthdays. Completely understandable.  

Tough love can be the most difficult, but most important thing to do, @Nysha. Easy for me to say, but so hard to do. I hope it will work for you and your son. I’m rooting for you!

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@QuinnInND Kumquat seems extremely sophisticated! Roxy just toodles around for a couple hours every night, and if she gets stuck she beeps a couple times. If you can't find her by the time she's done beeping, you're SOL!

Still a mystery where she was last night, but I guess she got herself out of that jam OK 😅

Also, I'm glad I programed her to run after I get home from work every night, because this morning I cooked my dog scrambled eggs with cheese and rice for breakfast (ran out of dog food), and when I got home I found that she had taken the scrambled eggs over to her "spot" in the den, where she likes to gnaw on her bones. I guess she wanted to hang out with the egg? Or was saving it for later? Anyhow, I'm glad that Roxy didn't have a chance to vacuum it up!

Edited by rue721
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Happy Belated @Mindthinkr!!

 

@Nysha, (((hugs))) to you caring for your son. You aren’t alone in your struggles. Have you reached out to NAMI for resources for YOU? A therapist to talk to or skills to encourage your son to develop independence? You did the right thing!
 

But please don’t feel badly, it took me a solid decade, from the time I was 18-28 to convince my mom that my sister was capable of getting her own ice water. (My sister’s mobility is not limited in the slightest, and she’s perfectly capable of getting her own water when she wants and has been for decades, but just holding the cup out for her servant AKA MOMMY to refill it is much easier, which meant that I always had to get up from my seat during meals when I was present and do it.)

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9 hours ago, rue721 said:

@QuinnInND Kumquat seems extremely sophisticated! Roxy just toodles around for a couple hours every night, and if she gets stuck she beeps a couple times. If you can't find her by the time she's done beeping, you're SOL!

Still a mystery where she was last night, but I guess she got herself out of that jam OK 😅

This is Kumquat. 

IMG_20210223_071317.jpg

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13 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

My day has been a bit melancholy. I will happily say that for the first time my grandchildren texted me a happy birthday. 

Happy Birthday!  🎂😊

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So today we returned to in person learning. I can't tell you how nice it was to be back in the classroom all together. Not all of my tiny humans are back in the classroom in person, as some of their parents want to stay with virtual learning for now.  The only hard part is that they all want hugs, and we can't do that just yet. But the kids were sooo excited to be back with their friends. A good day! 

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Happy belated birthday @Mindthinkr!

My teacher husband finally got his first dose today. It was supposed to be last Friday but they canceled for the second time. It's a huge relief since we live in area where most people act like masks are suggestions and staying home or not seeing friends is absolute torture. 

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On 2/21/2021 at 8:34 PM, rue721 said:

 

My boyfriend got my robovac working again, and it's making the house so nice and clean, without any work from me.

... But I somehow lost the robovac tonight? It got stuck somewhere and was beeping and beeping, but finally it stopped and now I can't find it. I live in a condo, it's not like there's acres of space where it could be. But I've literally looked everywhere I could think of, including under all the big furniture. Really lucky that they rebooted Unsolved Mysteries, because this is fucking strange!

Do you have a large pet that is hiding it and happily enjoying the warmth and hum?  😉

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I could do with some thoughts and prayers, please.  My best friend's father died a few days ago.  Our two families have always treated each other as family.  Because of Covid we hadn't been able to see him for months, and couldn't attend his funeral.  All I want to do is hug my friend, but I can't.

Then this morning I heard from my best friend from age 7 to 21 (when I moved 6,000 miles away, so we haven't been as close since) that our other best friend has just been diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer and has only weeks to live.  I'm devastated.

(I know that grammatically you can't have two best friends, but we did, and we were inseparable.)

 

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2 minutes ago, Jenniferbug said:

Leeds, I'm so sorry to hear that! I will pray for you and your loved ones! 

Thank you.  I've realized that this being a virtual community, we can get a lot of support without hugs because we've never met in person so don't miss the physical presence.  Does that make sense?

 

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7 minutes ago, Leeds said:

I could do with some thoughts and prayers, please.  My best friend's father died a few days ago.  Our two families have always treated each other as family.  Because of Covid we hadn't been able to see him for months, and couldn't attend his funeral.  All I want to do is hug my friend, but I can't.

Then this morning I heard from my best friend from age 7 to 21 (when I moved 6,000 miles away, so we haven't been as close since) that our other best friend has just been diagnosed with aggressive breast cancer and has only weeks to live.  I'm devastated.

(I know that grammatically you can't have two best friends, but we did, and we were inseparable.)

 

Oh, sweetie. What a terrible time. Please take good care of yourself.

I send hugs and cookies.

 

D7F59E11-7757-464D-916B-99E691921DB0.gif

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1 hour ago, Jenniferbug said:

Happy belated birthday @Mindthinkr!

My teacher husband finally got his first dose today. It was supposed to be last Friday but they canceled for the second time. It's a huge relief since we live in area where most people act like masks are suggestions and staying home or not seeing friends is absolute torture. 

My husband's second dose was cancelled and rescheduled three times.  He finally received it today just one week late.

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2 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

@Leeds I’m so sorry and will pray. You could consider writing a nice note to your friend telling her how much she has meant to you and a memory or two that you share. It might give her comfort. 

Thank you, I will.

Months ago (feels like years), I sent personal notes/cards to around 20 friends and family members.  I love getting something truly personalized with an actual postage stamp, and it felt like real contact even though we couldn't be together physically. 

Some Grinch I mentioned it to told me not to expect any responses.  I told him I didn't.  Sometimes acts of random kindness are just that.  Not trying to sound a do-gooder here, but, as you suggest Mindthinkr, little things can make a difference, whether or not there's a pandemic going on.

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