Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Ijustwantsomechips]

1 minute ago, doodlebug said:

Christmas party tickets run 100 bucks and up, depending on the date these days.  In addition, you have to have a valid park ticket for that date, so it is IN ADDITION to regular admission.  Not cheap.

I don’t remember if we needed park tickets for that day or not since it was 2013. And it wasn’t $100 but again, that was years ago, and the Sunday before Thanksgiving. I know ticket prices have skyrocketed in the last few years, probably to filter through demographics, so I can’t say it’s a good deal anymore. I’d like to ride Avatar and see the Star Wars stuff, but if we go back to Orlando, I’d rather do Universal. Their roller coasters are much better IMO, although their service is not on par with Disney. 

The next family vacation will probably be another cruise or back to Gatlinburg once we feel it’s safe to travel again.  Who knows when that will be.  I just cannot risk my safety for a little fun.  

[Love2dance]

@SunnyBeBe, glad your test came out so well and your procedure was easy for you! So sorry about your aunt. May your beautiful memories bring your family comfort.

[SunnyBeBe]

10 hours ago, Love2dance said:

@SunnyBeBe, glad your test came out so well and your procedure was easy for you! So sorry about your aunt. May your beautiful memories bring your family comfort.

I appreciate that. She was a wonderful woman and such an inspiration. She was recruited by the FBI in the 1950s and moved to DC! She left that to have a family and had no regrets. I think it contributed to my career in criminal justice, then law.  She sent me a Christmas card with a very special angel on it. I’ve framed it to put on display. 

Edited July 26, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[GeeGolly]

I first started to post this in this Finance thread because I didn't want to bring too much Duggar into this space, so I'm hoping you all don't mind me asking in here.

I have a question. This Ramsey financial guy. Is he legit? I ask because a lifelong friend of mine has been attending Bible studies. The flavor of the studies definitely lean into Fundy. The person leading the group just posted something about Ramsey on FB.

Quite frankly my friend could use some type of happenings and focus in her life, so I've yet to say anything about her Bible studies even though I have some concerns. When I saw the Ramsey post my concern meter moved a notch.

With that limited amount of info, what do you all think?

[Marshmallow Mollie]

In terms of financial advice, Ramsey’s advice is good if you don’t know how to live within your means, have run up a lot of debt, and can’t figure out how to get out of it. He has a five step plan, the most famous of which is to pay down your smallest debt first. Then, using your emotional high that you have paid off a debt, use the money you were paying on the smallest debt to pay down the next smallest. Numbers-wise you should pay down the one with the highest interest. 
 

I stopped listening to him because I was disgusted with some statements I heard him say. One was from a single mother who was unemployed and facing homelessness. He flippantly said childcare is easy to fine and affordable and she just needed to get a job. This was when I was paying $1470/month for my twins in daycare, a number I will remember for my entire life. He told another single mother making $1700/month she couldn’t live on that salary without accruing debt, so she merely needed to find a higher paying job. Easy peasy!

Didn’t someone here work for him briefly? 

[GeeGolly]

19 minutes ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

In terms of financial advice, Ramsey’s advice is good if you don’t know how to live within your means, have run up a lot of debt, and can’t figure out how to get out of it. He has a five step plan, the most famous of which is to pay down your smallest debt first. Then, using your emotional high that you have paid off a debt, use the money you were paying on the smallest debt to pay down the next smallest. Numbers-wise you should pay down the one with the highest interest. 
 

I stopped listening to him because I was disgusted with some statements I heard him say. One was from a single mother who was unemployed and facing homelessness. He flippantly said childcare is easy to fine and affordable and she just needed to get a job. This was when I was paying $1470/month for my twins in daycare, a number I will remember for my entire life. He told another single mother making $1700/month she couldn’t live on that salary without accruing debt, so she merely needed to find a higher paying job. Easy peasy!

Didn’t someone here work for him briefly? 

Is there a connection between Ramsey and Fundies? Or is he a Fundy?

And it sounds like money management for folks with a better than good income. That will always make a financial planner look good.

[doodlebug]

2 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Is there a connection between Ramsey and Fundies? Or is he a Fundy?

And it sounds like money management for folks with a better than good income. That will always make a financial planner look good.

Yep, he's a fundie.  He is known to use those 'principles' to bully his employees.  For example, when one of his employees contracted COVID early in the pandemic, he refused to close the office, instead telling his employees to suck it up and get to work.

[GeeGolly]

The woman holding the Bible studies drinks alcohol and wears mainstream clothing. She does have this holier than thou attitude and holds herself in high esteem.

Would any of you have concerns about a friend of yours getting involved with this?

[Marshmallow Mollie]

I wouldn’t. Ramsey’s advice isn’t bad, it just might not be the best for your situation, if that makes sense. But, you gotta start somewhere to know what works for you. In Financial Peace University, you show everyone your finances, and then show how you are using his steps to improve your finances. I would not want anyone in my my business like that, but some people do need that level of accountability.

Google “Dave Ramsey baby steps” and you’ll get an idea of it. 

[galaxychaser]

On 7/23/2020 at 9:24 PM, Mindthinkr said:

Wow this Ramsay guy is a jerk.

[ginger90]

Here’s an article:

 

https://money.com/dave-ramsey-money-debt-free/

[BetyBee]

We did the 5 step snowball thingy years ago and have never carried credit card debt since. We were so smart, we didn't pay a nickel for Ramsey's advice, lol. We weren't in much debt anyway, but it makes sense to mainain a good credit score and to have money saved and accessible for emergencies. I don't care for his personal beliefs. I've listened to him talk and he's a smug know-it-all, imo. 

Edited July 27, 2020 by BetyBee

[Minivanessa]

I never followed Dave Ramsey's program but I did read a bit about it, nearly 20 years ago. At that time I did get involved with the "Debt-Proof Living" program of Mary Hunt - http://www.debtproofliving.com/ - and it helped me gain better control (not perfect by any means) of my personal finances. The last time I read any of her stuff, Hunt was a devout Christian, not sure if she's evangelical, don't think she was fundie. For a few years I had a paid membership to the Debt Proof Living website and, don't laugh, but actually made some IRL connections with folks that continue to this day. There was definitely a Christian/conservative atmosphere on the forums but at least back then it wasn't jammed down your throat. I have no clue what it's like today. Hunt was at the time living a mainstream sort of life, though, no fundie Quiverfull sh*t for sure.

IIRC Hunt's system of getting out of debt was less arbitrary than Ramsey's stuff. For instance Ramsey says you  should have an emergency fund of exactly $1000. Hunt IIRC taught people to figure out things like that based on their own circumstances. 

But IMO in this era of conspicuous consumption, so many people don't reach adulthood with an understanding of debt, savings, budgeting, etc., that any fairly sensible system aimed at paying down/off debt and being a good steward of your personal finances, isn't to be scoffed at. Ramsey's obnoxious and I wouldn't pay a dime to follow him but I think you can glean enough of his system from online sources and maybe buying a book, to figure things out for yourself. ETA @BetyBee - I was writing while you were posting, so you've confirmed what I was thinking, and good for you for getting out of debt!

(I sometimes think about how ignorant people can be about their finances, when I'm watching yet another true crime TV show or reading about a murder in the news - and the story involves people who looked prosperous but were over their heads in debt from living beyond their means. I've also idly wondered how Ramsey's "cut your living costs to the bone to pay off your debt and save up for the future" message resonates in some of the megachurches where he probably speaks. Churches which I'm sure lean really hard on their members to tithe generously. Does Ramsey incorporate a 10% "tithing" item into his program? Hmm. .. )

Edited July 27, 2020 by Jeeves

[Scarlett45]

Dave Ramsey knows how to get people out of debt. I’ve been using his program to pay off my law school debt and it’s working. His podcast and YouTube information is all free.

Everything else about the man and his personal philosophy I’m not going to speak on- but getting people out of debt is something he knows how to do. It’s not a gimmick or a sham. Maybe check out Aja Dang on YouTube- (love her) she paid off her $200k in student loans following him (and there are similar stories). 

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

Is there a connection between Ramsey and Fundies? Or is he a Fundy?

And it sounds like money management for folks with a better than good income. That will always make a financial planner look good.

Dave Ramsey is an evangelical Christian (not Fundy). His program does work for low income people. Now he admits that everyone needs a certain amount of income to live so yes some things are an income problem(you can’t cut your expenses so far to need no income), but Budget Girl (YouTuber) paid off her $33k in student loans starting at $26k salary a year moving to to $44k in three years. She was 100% self supporting (her parents are deceased, she had no husband, roommate or live in boyfriend at the time). 
 

The Budget Guys (Instagram) are a gay male couple who follow his program and they are paying of their debt too. (Sorry I didn’t include all the links I’m on my phone) 
 

 

[lookeyloo]

1 hour ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

In terms of financial advice, Ramsey’s advice is good if you don’t know how to live within your means, have run up a lot of debt, and can’t figure out how to get out of it. He has a five step plan, the most famous of which is to pay down your smallest debt first. Then, using your emotional high that you have paid off a debt, use the money you were paying on the smallest debt to pay down the next smallest. Numbers-wise you should pay down the one with the highest interest. 
 

I stopped listening to him because I was disgusted with some statements I heard him say. One was from a single mother who was unemployed and facing homelessness. He flippantly said childcare is easy to fine and affordable and she just needed to get a job. This was when I was paying $1470/month for my twins in daycare, a number I will remember for my entire life. He told another single mother making $1700/month she couldn’t live on that salary without accruing debt, so she merely needed to find a higher paying job. Easy peasy!

Didn’t someone here work for him briefly? 

I listened to him for a minute too.  Pair him up with that nutcase Dr. Laura and it is a toxic couple of radio hours.  Dr. laura would have told that single mother to put her kids up for adoption into a two parent home with a stay at home mother, and home school.  Sure.

[doodlebug]

Dave Ramsay's basic advice is: pay off your debt and don't borrow money for stuff you can live without.  It's pretty basic, but it does work.  A lot of young kids get out of college owing 10's of thousands in student debt and run right out and buy a new car, furniture and other stuff on credit and then spend their spare time eating out, bar hopping, and going to concerts.  His recommendation is essentially delayed gratification:  if it isn't essential, you don't need it unless you can pay cash.  That, in itself, is great advice.

However, if you listen to his radio show or his other media, that advice is couched with a lot of political baloney that is beside the point.  Take his advice on spending and ignore the rest.

One thing he does recommend that other financial advisors disagree with is to pay off the smallest debts first to get a sense of accomplishment and to motivate paying off the rest.  Most other advisors will tell you to pay off the highest interest debt first no matter what the balance.

Edited July 27, 2020 by doodlebug

[fonfereksglen]

I discovered Ramsey 15 years ago.  This was during a period where, for job reasons, we were living in two different cities with rent in one and mortgage in the other.   Five years, when my husband retired, we were entirely debt free, including cars and house.  Since then we have only financed a couple of cars which we paid off in two years each. All this without any income from me. 

It was amazing to look deeply into spending habits and make tough decisions, but his method does work.

[GeeGolly]

Thanks for the scoop on Ramsey.

I don't think I was clear about my concern. I was mildly concerned that my friend was hanging with this Bible group. I also know the woman who runs the group. When I saw the Bible study leader had posted about Ramsey, I became more concerned, thinking the Bible group was even more Fundy than I originally thought. The Bible study leader is fine financially, as is my friend, so I'm not concerned about my friend following Ramsey.

Without going into detail, my friend is vulnerable due to a number of reasons and I'd hate to think I stood by and watched her get sucked into a skewed belief system.

[Scarlett45]

20 minutes ago, GeeGolly said:

Thanks for the scoop on Ramsey.

I don't think I was clear about my concern. I was mildly concerned that my friend was hanging with this Bible group. I also know the woman who runs the group. When I saw the Bible study leader had posted about Ramsey, I became more concerned, thinking the Bible group was even more Fundy than I originally thought. The Bible study leader is fine financially, as is my friend, so I'm not concerned about my friend following Ramsey.

Without going into detail, my friend is vulnerable due to a number of reasons and I'd hate to think I stood by and watched her get sucked into a skewed belief system.

So you’re concerned about your friend hanging out with these people-not trying to get out of debt. 

Being a Dave Ramsey follower isn’t indicative of anything like being a Bill Gothard follower would be for example. 
 

This is a lonely time for so many, with COVID-19, physical distancing etc. Your concern shows you’re a good friend but maybe just keep an eye out and see if the Bible Study is just that- or something else. 
 

 

[SunnyBeBe]

8My friend who lives in Asheville, NC had a sight in her front yard Sat. Three in the tree and mama bear was on the ground. Not in the picture.

[Scarlett45]

1 minute ago, SunnyBeBe said:

8My friend who lives in Asheville, NC had a sight in her front yard Sat. Three in the tree and mama bear was on the ground. Not in the picture.

Wow!! That would be a sight! Id go back in the house and lock the door. 

[SunnyBeBe]

I'm trying to post photo.......

[Hangin Out]

Anyone see recent picture of Martha Stewart in her pool with big lips?  78 yrs old still goin strong.  I don’t know how to transfer pictures.

[SunnyBeBe]

I hope this works. 

[Scarlett45]

4 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I hope this works. 

Wow!

[SunnyBeBe]

My friend lives inside the city on a very well traveled street! It's not too far from Biltmore Estates.  She always keeps her trash closed tight, but, this was a real surprise. 

39 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Wow!! That would be a sight! Id go back in the house and lock the door. 

She stayed inside. Her dog was going crazy.  She regularly walks her dog in her neighborhood.  Other times, brisk walks without the dog.  I might get some bear spray.  Not for the cubs, but, for mama. 

[Hangin Out]

9 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

My friend lives inside the city on a very well traveled street! It's not too far from Biltmore Estates.  She always keeps her trash closed tight, but, this was a real surprise. 

She stayed inside. Her dog was going crazy.  She regularly walks her dog in her neighborhood.  Other times, brisk walks without the dog.  I might get some bear spray.  Not for the cubs, but, for mama. 

Where’s Poppa Bear?  Lol.

[Turquoise]

Ramsey's headquarters are in a wealthy suburb south of Nashville. He recently made the news because a former employee is suing him. She alleges she went to HR to request FMLA paperwork for her pregnancy, and was later fired for being pregnant and not married to her partner. That this action violated his "righteous living" policy. Article didn't say if this policy is discussed/signed off on by employee at the time of employment.

https://www.tennessean.com/story/news/local/williamson/2020/07/21/ramsey-solutions-lawsuit-caitlin-oconnor-franklin-tn/5482489002/

Edited July 27, 2020 by Turquoise
Unsure on timing between paperwork/firing, didn't want to put something incorrect out

[SunnyBeBe]

12 minutes ago, Silver Bells said:

Where’s Poppa Bear?  Lol.

Yeah.  I hadn't thought of that.  The mama was in the yard, but, for some reason, my friend couldn't get her in the picture.  I'm not sure if he she has any of mama.  I'll see.  The papa would be bigger, but, I'm not sure how big.  Black bears aren't as huge as some others like the brown, but, still, they are intimidating.  At least to me. 

[Zella]

53 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

My friend lives inside the city on a very well traveled street! It's not too far from Biltmore Estates.  She always keeps her trash closed tight, but, this was a real surprise. 

She stayed inside. Her dog was going crazy.  She regularly walks her dog in her neighborhood.  Other times, brisk walks without the dog.  I might get some bear spray.  Not for the cubs, but, for mama. 

My family is originally from WNC and quite a few of them live in the Asheville area now. The outskirts of the western part of the city, on the way to Swannanoa and Black Mountain, has had a horrible bear problem for years. I have quite a few older great aunts and uncles living in that area still (and my great-grandmother lived there before her death). Bears are constantly getting in garbage and in people's yards. 

There was actually a black bear wandering about Fayetteville, AR, last week! That really surprised me. There are certainly bears around here, but it's nowhere as common to see them here as it is in NC.

https://www.5newsonline.com/article/news/local/bear-spotted-twice-in-fayetteville-near-mlk-and-fayetteville-public-library/527-191f9082-55ee-45a8-916f-04955d440108

[SunnyBeBe]

I've heard that something about covid is making wild animals more prone to enter cities, neighborhoods, etc.  Although, Asheville, NC has always had bears around. My friend is from there and is rather used to it. It's just that she's never seen that many, that close, in the day time. 

Edited July 27, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[sixlets]

6 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Where’s Poppa Bear?  Lol.

Going through the garbage with Shrek and Sex Pest.

[Sew Sumi]

If they're lucky, they'll find some half melted ice cream to bring back to the family. 

(Remember that one? I think they were in Florida at the time.)

[BitterApple]

1 minute ago, Sew Sumi said:

If they're lucky, they'll find some half melted ice cream to bring back to the family. 

(Remember that one? I think they were in Florida at the time.)

Ewwww, I'd forgotten about that!

[Scarlett45]

@Marshmallow Mollie why can’t hair salons in NC use blow dryers?

[Marshmallow Mollie]

Just now, Scarlett45 said:

@Marshmallow Mollie why can’t hair salons in NC use blow dryers?

Because you could potentially be blowing coronavirus everywhere. Everyone wears masks, but it’s an extra step of protection.

We did quarancuts, and my husband inexplicably did a terrible job on mine. For the sake of my marriage, I quietly went to great clips to have it fixed.

[Zella]

7 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I've heard that something about covid is making wild animals more prone to enter cities, neighborhoods, etc.  Although, Asheville, NC has always had bears around. My friend is from there and is rather used to it. It's just that she's never seen that many, that close, in the day time. 

That makes sense. It seems like they're unusually active where my family is too, compared to normal. 

[Scarlett45]

4 minutes ago, Marshmallow Mollie said:

Because you could potentially be blowing coronavirus everywhere. Everyone wears masks, but it’s an extra step of protection.

We did quarancuts, and my husband inexplicably did a terrible job on mine. For the sake of my marriage, I quietly went to great clips to have it fixed.

Oh. Thank you. 

[galaxychaser]

12 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Where’s Poppa Bear?  Lol.

Split. Current whereabouts unknown.

[GeeGolly]

A medical professional that works in a hospital in MA got 23 co-workers and a dozen or so patients sick with covid. This person "traveled to a hot spot" and returned to work. The spin is the rules in the break room are lax. Hmmm, I didn't know patients hung out in the break room. The hospital immediately changed their policy on post vacation protocol.

[frenchtoast]

1 hour ago, GeeGolly said:

A medical professional that works in a hospital in MA got 23 co-workers and a dozen or so patients sick with covid. This person "traveled to a hot spot" and returned to work. The spin is the rules in the break room are lax. Hmmm, I didn't know patients hung out in the break room. The hospital immediately changed their policy on post vacation protocol.

That shit pisses me off. We traveled to TX to close on the new house at the end of June. The movers were coming July 6. We self quarantined whe we returned to MA. We didn't get to say goodbye to friends and family before we moved. And this nurse couldn't be arsed about it? 

We did see people before we headed to TX because we knew we'd be quarantining. But it was hard when friends spontaneously invited us for lunch and we had to say no. They knew why but it still stung that we couldn't see them one last time before we left. Especially because we hadn't seen them prior save for the one time before our trip. It makes me so resentful and bitter and angry. That I sacrificed and put in the effort and so many people are fucking it up for the rest of us.

And my 14 yo daughter will be starting high school in a new school. Here in TX where they don't seem to really be able to get a handle on it. She would prefer to do in-person school so she can actually meet people and make some friends and I can't blame her. But I hope they go virtual for the first semester at least.

[GeeGolly]

9 minutes ago, frenchtoast said:

That shit pisses me off. We traveled to TX to close on the new house at the end of June. The movers were coming July 6. We self quarantined whe we returned to MA. We didn't get to say goodbye to friends and family before we moved. And this nurse couldn't be arsed about it? 

We did see people before we headed to TX because we knew we'd be quarantining. But it was hard when friends spontaneously invited us for lunch and we had to say no. They knew why but it still stung that we couldn't see them one last time before we left. Especially because we hadn't seen them prior save for the one time before our trip. It makes me so resentful and bitter and angry. That I sacrificed and put in the effort and so many people are fucking it up for the rest of us.

And my 14 yo daughter will be starting high school in a new school. Here in TX where they don't seem to really be able to get a handle on it. She would prefer to do in-person school so she can actually meet people and make some friends and I can't blame her. But I hope they go virtual for the first semester at least.

I wish there were more folks like you. The carelessness and disregard for others by some is so glaring during this time.

Going virtual the first part of the year might work in her favor. She will have the power of observation without the distraction of being in the thick of things. Wishing your daughter good luck.

[SunnyBeBe]

I was shocked over the weekend when I had to take my father to his doctor's office. They are open everyday.  They have very stringent covid guidelines and are very proactive.  It was a pressing matter or I would have waited til Monday.  Upon arrival, I noticed that the two receptionists did not have masks on!  Yes, they were behind plexi glass, but, there are holes in that for transferring paperwork. Plus, they are breathing out air that goes into the entire office.   I reported it to their supervisor on Monday and it was a shock.  They told me that they SHOULD have had masks on and I suspect it will not got well for them.  Which is good. We are under state mandate of facial covering for almost all public places and even private offices.   That level of arrogance in a medical office should not be tolerated.  I'm hoping that they were recently tested and it was negative.  Or, now they will be tested and if positive, the patients they interacted with will be notified.  

While I normally do not go into stores, I did run into one that is very uncrowded and everyone wears masks over the weekend.  I only had two items, so, didn't have a cart, which normally I keep behind me to provide a buffer from other customers, encroaching on my space in checkout line.  As I was paying, a woman in scrubs comes up behind me and stands about 1 foot away!  I looked up with alarm and said, Excuse me.  She backed up only a little.  I just can't figure these people out.  This  person obviously worked in some place that cares for others, like medical office, dental, long term care facility, etc.   I NOW know that I must get a cart, no matter what and use it to keep the buffer behind me in the checkout line.  There are signs on the floor indicating where to stand. 

Edited July 28, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[Jenniferbug]

This sums it up for me. 

[SunnyBeBe]

31 minutes ago, Jenniferbug said:

This sums it up for me. 

THANK YOU!  

While overall, the mask situation is much improved in NC, now that there is a state mandate, there are still some major issues.  I have a friend who was was recently invited to an outdoor birthday party by a close friend. Supposedly  masks would be worn, setup outside, distancing, etc.  But, upon arrival, everyone was inside, no masks,........my friend was upset and confused, though, I don't think she said anything, just said happy birthday and left.  Also, my parent's church was scheduled to have a REVIVAL for 4 nights INSIDE the church with special singing from a group of people.  ALL of these people from out of state!  Of course, my parents, were not going to attend.   Over the weekend, it was announced, it was postponed.  No reason given, except that we discovered on FB that one of the singers in the group is in hospital on ventilator.  They haven't said covid, but, you can read that's what it is.  So, they are not traveling all across the country singing like they were until recently.  They are asking people not to judge them.......there are no words. 

Edited July 28, 2020 by SunnyBeBe

[Scarlett45]

On a light note 

https://www.unique-vintage.com/collections/beetlejuice-x-unique-vintage
 

This is so amazing I’m dying. Interestingly my sister LOVES the movie Beetlejuice- which is odd cause it’s not Disney or Christmas nor does it have puppies in it (she also loves the “Buddies” movies with the golden retriever puppies). Maybe it’s the colors and the physical comedy. 
 

In serious news my cousin is back in the hospital. He had another stroke and is on dialysis. He stopped taking his kidney medicine! I wonder if this was a form of self harm? He was doing well and the COVID-19 hit and he was so isolated. I talked with his sister (also my cousin, he lives with her) and she said they were going to get him another phone charger (his got lost) so he can FaceTime but he’s concerned about his depression. If he doesn’t want to talk to me I respect that, but he’s such a beautiful human- I want him to know we value him and want him around!

[SunnyBeBe]

Scarlett45, that's terrible news.  So sorry about your cousin.  Sending healing thoughts his way and prayers for his care.  I hope they can figure out how to help motivate him.  Do you know if he was confused about the medicine or just lost the desire for treatment due to depression? That can be so challenging to treat.   I hope they figure out the best way to help him. 

[Scarlett45]

12 minutes ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Scarlett45, that's terrible news.  So sorry about your cousin.  Sending healing thoughts his way and prayers for his care.  I hope they can figure out how to help motivate him.  Do you know if he was confused about the medicine or just lost the desire for treatment due to depression? That can be so challenging to treat.   I hope they figure out the best way to help him. 

No he wasn’t confused. The man is brilliant, and the strokes didn’t affect his cognition just his body. And it wasn’t a money thing either. 
 

When he first got sick almost 3yrs ago it was really hard on him, his personality type wasn’t suited to staying in the house, and you know how toxic masculinity harms men when they become disabled. But he was working through that, getting out when he could, engaging his mind etc. he got his kidneys under control right before Covid-19. I can believe that the isolation of COVID-19 (yes he has his sister but she’s only one person), and the loss of all his plans to visit other relatives and go to Hawaii for his bday may have made him depressed. Also maybe he thought he didn’t need the medicine any more (you know how people can get). 
 

Of course I respect if he just wants space and if he doesn’t want to talk to me (or anyone) I won’t take it personally. But he can’t keep doing things like this or we will be having a virtual funeral for him. And you know it’s a lot of work on his sister! She loves him and he’s been a wonderful brother to her (so no problem helping him now that he’s sick) but why stress her out like this??

[SunnyBeBe]

If he had a stroke, I hope they do more tests to check his judgment. At least to figure out what's causing the apathy.  My cousin had multiple mini strokes in her 50's.  She didn't even know it at the time. She complained of headaches a lot. (MRI later showed them.)  She forgot that she had type II diabetes and stopped taking medication.  When, the doctor later asked her why she did that, she didn't know. We were not able to convince her that she had it and needed the pills. Even her A1C results did not convince her.  It's very frustrating. 

[Porkchop]

Motivated by the pandemic, I found a contractor and had part of my deck turned into a 12 by 16 screen room! What a joy it is! Shopped Facebook Marketplace for an outdoor table and cushioned chairs, and I'm living the stay-at-home life! I have dreamed of this for years, but I am not at all a stay-at-home person and so until coping with Covid, I put it off and went traveling instead. My house is in the woods, so decks were never a good idea, too many bugs. It's so great to sit out there, shaded and bug-free! 

But I am daydreaming about buying another RV! It seems like a Roadtrek would be the safest way to travel, avoiding public bathrooms and hotels. Will I do it? Can't tell yet. Maybe ...