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Small Talk: The Prayer Closet


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Congratulations, Jenniferbug! Very happy for you and your family, and that little Caroline sounds like she's got her own little personality already! Spunk indeed!

(I hope she enjoys the virtual baby swing I gifted her at our virtual shower.)

Congratulations Jenniferbug & add me to the list of loving the name Caroline. I'm sending you a virtual baby afghan crocheted by my mother & am keeping you in my thoughts & prayers.

Happyfatchick- As one who just dabbles in needlepoint, cross stitch etc. I've enjoyed your posts about the embroiderery. As others have asked, how did you get started doing this? Changing topics, I'm sure it was very upsetting about your mother not knowing your son. A similar situation happened with a childhood friend & her mother, who has dementia/Alzheimer's. My friend & her sister were just sitting around talking with their mother, when the mom said out of the blue "you two are so nice, are you related?" It really upset my friend as this was the first time her mom made it known she didn't know who they were at that time. Other times she's more "with it" & even remembers what grandchildren go with who. My prayers are with you & your family too.

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So sorry HAPPYFATCHICK, for you and your son. The PBS documentary about Glen Campbell's Alzheimer's struggle was heart-wrenching. And it ended before the most difficult last stages of the disease. Sending hugs to you, your mom, and family.

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Happyfatchick, I'm so sorry to hear of the heartbreaking illness of your mom. I have a friend who "lost" his wife this way several years ago (though she is still alive in full-time care). He describes what he has endured as a "death" - but says it's almost worse than that in many ways. You are clearly surrounding your mother with a bounty of support and love and, even in her growing confusion, I can't help but imagine she still senses and is profoundly grateful for that.  Wishing you peace on this difficult journey ....

Edited by HundFan
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Thanks for the complement! I've always hated my name...too long and NOBODY can spell it right. My maiden name is long and ethnic...I joke that my birth certificate took 2 pages! But now...I'll be putting a smile on my face when someone says my name. 

You're so very welcome, Caroline Elizabeth ! I don't understand people not being able to spell your IRL name, but I'm pretty sure we'd all get it right here ! And I do truly hope it makes you smile now !  :)

 

As for long and ethnic names - I come from a long line of folks who had their names abbreviated (or changed outright) at Ellis Island or other immigration points in North America. Groff (with an umlaut, like Motley Crue) became Grove, Abromovitz became Adams, Kallberg became Call, and something I still can't pronounce to this very day from my Armenian ancestors (No, not related to the Kardashians !) inexplicably became Simon. It's a shame that so many people were forced to abandon their ethnic heritage as they sailed past the Statue of Liberty. I'm proud of my lineage and use my full, authentic name on my passport and other documents - first name, three middle names, "family" name, last name, and now a hyphenate with with my ex-husband that I have yet to abandon. The paperwork makes my head spin... Ugh.

 

And now to Happyfatchick - I'm still thinking of you and your dear mother, and wish I had something more comforting to say than "I'm sorry..."

 

For those of us who have lost their parents far too soon, I can understand. I can commiserate. I can listen. You already know how the loss of my dear, dear father simply annihilated me, so I'm with you hon, and we have your back. 

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thanks guys, for all the warm wishes and hugs. (But I'd really like a hand made afghan too, just saying). I heard from one of the relatives that she asked someone who my brother was today as well. I missed this exchange (thank God!) and haven't yet verified it with the bro. I predict, sadly that she won't see the holidays this year. I so love my mother, but I cannot begin to say how much I hate this disease. Alzheimer's isn't about the patient so much, it's a make or break deal for the family.

Edited to explain: I first put this at the end of my other post but was afraid you guys wouldn't see it and wanted to know how special you all are, and how much I appreciate you. It was a long, difficult day, really and it was really, truly sweet to find your messages when I came in tonight.

And I'd like to discuss the color scheme for my virtual afghan!

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And I'd like to discuss the color scheme for my virtual afghan!

 

How about those garish neon colors from the Jerick first anniversary acid trip in the forest photo shoot? NO ONE would ever lose you if you were wrapped in that blanket -  even if you were standing in the dark!

 

ETA: Can't seem to get the link to post here, but I'm sure you all remember: fuchsia, blue, green and whatever trees lit like the Northern Lights behind ... wait for it ... Jill and Derick kissing yet again!

Edited by HundFan
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All right Hund, I'll go for those colors if you can arrange to have life sized J/D crocheted right Into the middle.

Which reminds me of those A.W.F.U.L. velvet Jesus things old people used to hang in their living rooms. There's one particular avenue that leads into the east edge of Atlanta where you could pick up all manner of GARBAGE like a velvet Elvis or Jesus wall hanging (also socks, macrame plant holders, art made from beer cans, tshirts and hookers). I was always particularly mesmerized by the velvet art because my own MIL had a velvet rendition of the Last Supper hung over the couch in her living room. (No, really!!!). I wonder whatever became of that monstrosity when she passed? We should find all those relics from the past and have a virtual yard sale, maybe on the parodies thread. My mom has a lava lamp, a straw hat with flowers on the brim, a full set of Encyclopedia Britannica circa 1950. I also happen to have a LARGE (horrendously ugly) white ceramic cat in my pantry - stolen from the MIL at great peril to the thief - and that shows up on different family mantels, or even desks in the city (once atop my own mailbox) when least expected. He's in my pantry until the next unsuspecting victim comes along. And Shoot!!! (Said HFC), I just waved goodbye to a truckload of Amish/Mennonites who would have been amazed to find that jewel when they unpacked tomorrow.

I'm pretty sure I can cough up a CB radio with a 12 foot antennae, and an 8 track of Bread.

Edited by Happyfatchick
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Oh HappyFatChick - your work and virtual yard sale remind me of a chair I have. I found it many years ago at a set sale - selling off props and furniture from 4 movies. One of which was the movie my hubby and I had gone to on our first date. At the sale there was a rather unique chair labeled from that movie... Round, tall back, two colour raised velvet upholstery, matching round ottoman. Of course I bought it.

Long story short, lovely chair to look at but extremely uncomfortable, AND not in the movie. Or the other three. Re-watched them ALL chair-spotting. (Even though our date movie was so bad anyone who saw it just once deserved a chair!) so it was in a deleted scene I guess, or not used at all, but a little odd memento in our house.

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HFC - so sorry to read about what you and your family are enduring. Me lookeyloos's mother has lost most of her memory. It is very sad.

Two things - I have a "velvet Elvis" my brother got me years ago - apparently they are now hard to come by. Unconfirmed rumor has it that the "estate" run by Pricsilla put the kibosh on them although I don't know how they can monitor every street corner.

Second - I am a quilter so I am making two virtual baby quilts for Maisie and Caroline and one for Jellybeans and HFC. Anyone else want one let me know. The virtual ones are the best. Always perfect.

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(edited)

Yard sale items so far: velvet Last Supper, one velvet chair and ottoman. What else do we have? Lookie, you're allowed a knock velvet Elvis, just make sure it's not an "original" (!) you'd want to hit EBay with that.

ETA: I'm thinking there needs to be pics or links to any virtual yard sale items. This could be fun!!!

Edited by Happyfatchick
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Yard sales - how fun.  In a moment I will have to start house cleaning for company.  Yard sales sound so much more fun.

 

And I love all the baby talk.  Hug those baby girls and thanks for the updates.

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HFC - I love reading about the roaming cat. I'll see if my mom can do your afghan with J & D in the center. Might be tricky -- Maybe she can add Izzy too. The colors you all were talking about reminds of a baby afghan that was given to my friend years ago. There was nothing baby-ish about it. It was a hideous shade of gold accented with brown & yarn was on the heavy side. Of course, my friend had to play nice & ooh & ahh over it when she opened the gift at her shower knowing it would never be used for the baby as it probably would have smothered the poor thing. I'm thinking it could be donated to the yard sale. Talking yard sale, I don't have any, but how about the velvet pictures of the dogs playing poker. Does anyone out there have them or know someone who does?

Hugs to our baby girls.

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JB -Congratulations on the birth of Caroline ! I really love the name Caroline - I always have.

 

HFC - I am so sorry to hear about your Mom. Alzheimer's is such a terrible disease. Prayer to you and your entire family.

Edited by NEGirl
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Can I add all my stamping supplies to the yard sale? I haven't used them in years, but can't seem to find the time to list them on ebay, and it will break my heart to just freecycle them all.

 

 

I'd like to make a virtual quilt for Caroline and Maise too.  I actually just finished the first one for baby Skittles- I have a feeling this baby is going to have A LOT of quilts by the time s/he is born.  (Well, once I find out if it's a she or a he, I can start the onesie embroidering and move off of quilts.)

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So, for the yard sale I would like to add my collection of 45 records, a vogue doll, and 3-D Viewmaster. (Yes, I know most of you have no idea what that is.)

And I don't know how to quilt, but am sending virtual cozy fleece blankets to baby Skittles, Maisie and Caroline. With hugs for all.

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Thanks everyone for the happy thoughts! Caroline is doing pretty well- one of her protein levels was higher than they'd like indicating an infection, so she's here till at least Wednesday or Thursday. Which means so am I. I don't mine staying with her, but it is sad that my husband and 2 year old are home. I miss them!

Caroline is doing great though! She's alert and feisty and has yet to lose any of her birth weight (7lbs 15 oz). They took her off the sugar water today and have finally decided she can eat on demand. Breast feeding is a bit of a struggle. She can latch and she has, but if she doesn't feel like it or is too sleepy, nothing will convince her. I'm hoping feeding her on demand instead of a regimented 3 hours will help.

HFC, so sorry to hear about your mom. I cannot imagine anything more difficult for a family to deal with.

Loving the virtual yard sale talk LOL!

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{{{HUGS}}} Jenniferbug and family. Caroline sounds like a fighter.

 

It finally happened. I had my first Duggar dream this morning, and talk about weird. I dreamt JB was telling me my clothes were too defrauding. At first my jeans were leading men on, so I changed into a skirt. The skirt was too short (showing my knees,) so he had Jana and Joy measure my skirt to make it longer, and I was not happy about it.

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True story about this "old" Caroline...

I was born about a month early in 1964...weighing barely 6lbs. The pediatrician told my parents that I'd probably be a little behind on meeting the typical milestones like walking...well...according to my mother, I was walking at 7 months (6 months corrected). 

 

Reading about baby Caroline only eating if she feels like it sounds familiar! I'm telling you...you're in for a wild ride. 

 

Big squishy frontal hugs to you Jenniferbug and cuddles to baby Caroline. 

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Jenniferbug, that's great that you're allowed to stay there with her! I was discharged with my NICU baby, and went back and forth. Totally get missing the older one... but it's harder on you. She won't remember this!

You all are cracking me up. My grandma has taken to cleaning out her basement and giving us weird castoffs as Christmas gifts. These are not heirlooms, but promotional t-shirts from restaurants that closed in the 90s and hideous home decor. We sold a lot of them in a recent garage sale, and when she was here for Thanksgiving, she cornered Mr. Chicken and demanded to know where the gnome-themed wind chimes were. Not on my porch, I tell you!

This baby is due in a matter of days. I'll be induced next week if nothing happens on its own. Starting to panic about all the potential complications (I'm healthy, just a worrier) and about the epidural. It hurt like mad last time. The next eight hours were blissfully pain-free, but still.

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When I had my NICU baby, my toddler was sick with influenza which turned into pneumonia and I had to avoid her anyway.  It was a terrible time.  Drama stories promised for later, after all the babies currently due are born. :)

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(edited)

We are moving to another state in a few months. Making preliminary de-stashing trip end of month. My house would be one fabulous garage/yard sale right now! Come on down!!!

Nice try, Lookie. Pick your junk and throw it in the yard sale. I also had a hideous green lamp, glass base and glass bowl looking thing on top with glass beady looking things on it. Not a pretty green, kind of old timely milky green. My niece found it when her mother died, and told me (lovingly) that my mom gave it to her mom; it was kerosene and HER mom had it changed to electric. PAID for that, mind you. My niece carefully brought this heirloom piece-o-crap to me, thinking I'd love to have it. It sat on my dining room table for a month because...um, no. Loved you Granny, love you mom... Abut I'm going to respectfully decline to have that as part of my decor. (Which is totally eclectic, and I should be ashamed, but I'm not). I wasn't sure what to do with that thing, until my daughter said, "mom, what are you going to do with that beautiful lamp? I love that!" And I said (straight faced), "I was planning to give it to you". Heee!!! But since my daughter is moving to Nicaragua, I'm sure I can get that back if anyone wants it. We can change the yard sale to a yard sale/junk swap.

So, for the yard sale I would like to add my collection of 45 records, a vogue doll, and 3-D Viewmaster. (Yes, I know most of you have no idea what that is.)

Oh yes, I do!!! Do you have the little wheels that go in there? I think we owned (no longer) Family Affair. Buffy and Mrs. Beasley!!!

Also, I'm THRILLED that our baby Caroline (Sweet Caroline!) is doing so well. I'm sure you want to be home, JenniferB, but you'll be home before you know it and this will be a distant foggy memory before you even know it!

I wish WW would check in, I'm worried about her!

Edited by Happyfatchick
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So, for the yard sale I would like to add my collection of 45 records, a vogue doll, and 3-D Viewmaster. (Yes, I know most of you have no idea what that is.)

And I don't know how to quilt, but am sending virtual cozy fleece blankets to baby Skittles, Maisie and Caroline. With hugs for all.

 

I will trade you my silo wall clock (Sorry MIL, your son married a city girl and no way was that going to go in my house) for those 45s.  There could be cool stuff in there.  Also, always wanted a viewmaster!  You have treasures!!

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I have two antique potty chairs for the garage sale.  Both are walnut, one has foldout arms, and the other has a needlepoint  on the top.  I don't know anyone else with two potty chairs in their living room......

 

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(edited)

Thanks LATETOTHEPARTY and HAPPYFATCHICK. Glad you like my goodies.

Well, I don't have Potty Chairs (what was I thinking when I gave those up?), but how about an original singing Big Mouth Billy Bass fish on a plank ("Take Me to the River") to add to our collection?

Edited by Love2dance
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I'm proactively putting up all of my MIL's belongings in the garage sale, except for the cute early 19th century sampler. Her taste in "antiques" is horrific; neither my husband nor SIL want her overly ornate, ugly, pretty much high-Victorian era stuff. Even her "Asian" art is stuff made for the American market, and I'd take most Asian art in a heartbeat. Just not her commercialized stuff. She thinks she's such an antiques afficianado, but from what she sold off to downsize, found out that there just isn't a market for her ugly taste. Antiques Roadshow experts would laugh in her face. 

 

I dread actually having to get rid of this stuff one day. My husband and SIL get to split the proceeds, but alas, if it won't sell, then what? *sigh*

 

Congrats on all the babies! Jenniferbug, glad to hear Caroline (my niece's name!) is thriving. She sounds like she's going to be a fiesty one. :) 

 

Wanderwoman, if you're lurking, know I'm thinking of you and Maisie. (((((big squishy frontal hug))))

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You guys have me in "do-something !" mode - seriously, I thank you for that soooo much ! Awesome motivation, guys !!! It's like Matt Paxton on "Hoarders" giving me guidance !

 

My need to have a yard or garage sale is overwhelming ! There's so much stuff I don't know where to begin, so I just don't. Or haven't. But now, through the power of the Prayer Closet, I'm going to have the moxie to pull this off...

 

I was entrusted by five family members to be the Executrix of their estates. Meaning I inherited everything. EVERYTHING. I've been lost in an ocean of pictures, knick-knacks, furniture, kitchen items, linens, from FIVE houses, and have been powerless to make a move for fear of giving the wrong thing away, but now I know, with you, from you, that it's just all STUFF. Your kind advice would be much appreciated !

 

I'm going to keep exactly 50 things. Embroidered pillowcases from Armenia. Cowbells (from real cows) from my great-grandparents farm in Denmark. My dear father's letters home from the Korean War. My grandmother's pendant watch with her initials engraved in gold. My mother's roller skates. My Light-Bright from 1975. Maybe a few more things, but that's about it. 

 

When I read the stories here about love, loss, babies, heartbreak, triumph, it makes the "stuff" feel so small an insignificant. I can keep the very few things that REALLY matter, and jettison the rest. Anyone interested in helping me unload 25 years with of British Royal memorabilia ? I think I may have to check out Ebay....  ???  :)

 

Anyhoo, hello to Jenniferbug and her precious little Carolinebug, my prayers to Happyfatchick, both for herself and her mother, and also sending prayers to Wanderwoman and little Maisie. My heart is with all of you.... <3

 

Not to be selfish (I really hope it's not taken that way) but my dear, dear doggie, my Belgian Malinois rescue, adopted from an agency in Arkansas (Duggar country, seriously - like 10 miles away from Ground Zero !) is ailing and sick, and though I've done absolutely EVERYTHING to make him better, his life as a stray on the streets has got the better of him. He's a sweet, kind, shy, absolute goofball, and he's my buddy, my baby, and I'd do ANYTHING for him. If you have it in your heart to say a prayer, regardless of religion or denomination, I'd be so grateful. Prayers to the Flying Spaghetti Monster are also gratefully accepted... 

 

Here's my sweet babu in the video that captured my heart before I adopted him from Arkansas and brought him nearly 1000 miles here to my home on the East Coast. Sooooo not looking for donations of any kind, believe me, just prayers and well wishes, please...

 

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(edited)

WANDER!!!!! I was away from computer nearly all day, and was SO hoping you'd post an update. But...not that finances are getting tight enough to hurt a little. I wish there was something we could do - I guess virtual money from a virtual yard sale just isn't what you need right now. (Although you have to admit, the antique potty chair with needlepoint is tempting, especially paired with some ugly Americanized Asian "art").

You have had suuuuuch a sucking year, and I can tell you just aren't up for talking much. I hate that, too, because since my first day piddling on this site, I always looked for your insights and I miss you!!! I know it's weird and lurky and maybe even a little creepy, but we all feel somewhat connected to your issues. It can't help much knowing that we're all pulling for you guys when we can't do a damn thing, but it can't hurt either. There are enough of us "my age" that just feel HELPLESS right now. If there's ever any way at all you can think that we'd help you, we'll be on it in a minute. Please, please don't be afraid to speak out if there's anything at all. We're all right here beside you. You make my heart hurt. I joke and self deprecate about my own faults all the time, but I'm a VERY good mother - and consequently MIL - and you make me want to stab someone and say "GIVE THIS GIRL A BREAK ALREADY!!!!!"

We're all sending virtual peace and love to you.

ETA: SomePity, I think we were posting at the same time, and I'll be dang if you didn't make my eyes well up when I read your post. How old is Clooney? As I sit on the couch this second, I have 2 of 3 my fur babies cuddled on either side of me. The other is stretched out snoring in the mancave on "her" couch. Totally get it. Real live babies have absolute precedence, but the furry ones are not really far behind. Also, stick to your resolve about only keeping 50 items, and consider having an estate sale group do the rest. My neighbor did that about a year ago, liquidating a TON and decluttering their own lives at the same time. Even after the estate group took their cut, the neighbor was thrilled with the results.

Edited by Happyfatchick
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WanderWoman, I'm so sorry to hear that the burdens keep piling on. It's not fair that you've had to face so many struggles lately. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

SomePity, I will be praying hard for your fur baby! Pets become such a huge part of our hearts. I hope he can recover and remain with you for many years to come. My dog also began life as a stray (after likely being abused though we don't know details), so I understand how special those dogs who just needed someone to take a chance on them are. Hugs!

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Wanderwoman so sorry to hear about what's happening.  You have both been through so much lately.  No wonder there are high stress issues.

 

We have helped Seashell Lover with a GoFundMe - 

 

Group?  Are we in?

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I'm sorry for last night's post. For such a long time, you were my sounding boards. After three nights if arguments with hubby and feeling physically ill, I had to get away from him even if only online .

When Maisie was in the NICU, we were shockingly cavalier about how we had saved enough pre-kid to not need help. We even compared ourselves to others like fantastic assholes. Then came her hearing loss and we thought, "we can still do this". But, adding cancer to the plate, along with a low cap on my insurance because I am normally healthy, did us in. Now, although we certainly won't be homeless, there's a friction and simple math problem- our daily expenditures don't match our income. It's a reality that many people face. For us, it's a novel concept. But, the deeper concern is one of time. DH is working his butt off. It's h just s busy season and the company has been dealing with too few employees and a growing demand for service. He's gone a lot and I'm resenting it. He views illness as an issue of will power. When I had my first treatment, I threw up for six hours straight. He had worked a day and because I slept in the bath tub, he had Maisie duty all night. He was tired and he let me know about it. But, wtf? That's what you do as a parent. You suck it up, drink more coffee and deal. Why do I always have to be the strong, positive cheerleader? I asked why he was acting g like he has been and he threw out an excuse about my decision to a quit to be with Maisie like I preplanned cancer! I know it's his fear talking. I'm scared too. I just need a rock right now. Thanks for listening.

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Of course you are scared and of course this is all discombobulating.  Compounded with tired from a new baby and all things new and some unplanned.  There may be social services associated with your treatment.  There was with mine.  They are not surprised by anything you have voiced.  You are not alone in your feelings and you and Wanderman are not alone in your current situation.  We are here for you to say whatever you need to whenever you need to, no holds barred.  Sending ffcyberhugs and several boxes of tissues.

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I'm in.  We're here. 

 

Massive hugs for wanderwoman with leftovers for SomePity1066.

 

I love the idea of taking photos and using an estate seller to de-clutter family heirlooms!

 

wanderwoman, how long ago did you quit your job?  Are you still in the window of a "qualifying event" for ACA coverage?  Just an idea.

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I understand wanderwoman, my finances are tanking as well. After paying for my daughter's funeral, I found I had NO money left. But I will survive.

I am so sorry. He is scared, that's all. Hugs....and more.

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Wanderwoman, I think your husband is scared as well, and is just looking for something to blame.  It's got to be stressful for both of you.  Unfortunately, you're not alone where money and medical bills come in...It's a sad shame that at a time when you should be focusing on getting well, you have to be stressed with the money aspect of all this.  Same thing happened to my mother and step-father a couple of years ago.  My thoughts are with you...

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