Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[ChiCricket]

7 hours ago, ginger90 said:

Good luck to her.

    Thank you!

Poor kid, she found this out today, and it's her birthday. 

They took her to two different Orthos to make sure of the diagnosis.

When I just talked to her, it seemed as though she's already accepting that gymnastics might be out for her after this. They said she can't even try until it's healed for 9 months.

She seemed kind of relieved she would have to quit and it not be her decision.

Then again, I might be projecting 😁

(she just sent me this pic)

Edited January 15, 2019 by ChiCricket

[Christina87]

20 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Well,  *carp*....my granddaughter does have both a torn meniscus and a torn ACL.

 Surgery on the 29th :(

Will be praying!!! I hope (secretly as you do) that she will not do competitive gymnastics anymore if overall, that's what is best for her. I do hope, though, that she recovers really well, and can do anything in the future she wants to do! One of my best friends from high school did gymnastics through eighth grade, and was on the elite level. Then she hurt her knee, and they decided it would be in her best interest to quit, although she loved it. She was excited to try school, because she never had, and enjoyed a wonderful high school career, where she was a popular student athlete, who also did yearbook and theatre. She used her gymnastics skills to be the state pole vaulting champion two years in a row, and the scholarship offers just poured in. She went on a full track scholarship to UNC-Wilmington, and even tried out for the Olympics in pole vaulting. She got a free college education and has climbed the ranks in the corporate world, but has been saving most of her career so she can do what she loves...open a gym and teach gymnastics. Basically she has come full circle. You can definitely assure your granddaughter that there is life after gymnastics, if that's what they decide is best. She can use the skills she has gained to do a wide variety of different things!

i did acrobatics (was a lifelong dancer, from toddler to twelfth grade), and learned how to do all sorts of flips and stretches, which was so much fun. I choreographed my own acrobatics routines and did them in pageants as a teen (basically the talent was the reason I wanted to enter! I wanted an outlet for performing my routines). My sister and I always did duets in the school talent shows, where we would usually do either tap or jazz, and incorporate acrobatics into it. Those are such cherished memories, and I only did it recreationally. She has sooooo many different ways she can enjoy gymnastics even when her career is over. 

Speaking of dancing, any other former dancers on here? That was such a huge and cherished part of my life growing up, and I wouldn't trade my time in the studio for the world!

[BitterApple]

ChiCricket, wishing a speedy recovery to your granddaughter!!!

[doodlebug]

37 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

Well,  *carp*....my granddaughter does have both a torn meniscus and a torn ACL.

 Surgery on the 29th :(

Well, at least now you know.   And, perhaps, with a break from gymnastics training, she'll have a chance to have a regular life for a while or even decide that super-competitive Olympic-type training is not for her.

[Mindthinkr]

23 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

She went on a full track scholarship to UNC-Wilmington,

Great school in a great area. Lucky her. I hope she gets to fulfill some of her other dreams. 

[Christina87]

4 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Great school in a great area. Lucky her. I hope she gets to fulfill some of her other dreams. 

I love Wilmington! 😃😃😃 Most of my mom's family lives there. I love going to the family reunions, because it doubles as a beach vacation!

[Mindthinkr]

23 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

I love Wilmington! 😃😃😃 Most of my mom's family lives there. I love going to the family reunions, because it doubles as a beach vacation!

Wrightsville or Carolina Beach. Both are beautiful. Then there’s Masonboro Island. Yup. Great place. Let me know next time you are in town. 

[Christina87]

28 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

Wrightsville or Carolina Beach. Both are beautiful. Then there’s Masonboro Island. Yup. Great place. Let me know next time you are in town. 

Oooooh I will!!! Those are all awesome places. 

[lookeyloo]

17 hours ago, Happyfatchick said:

Three inches of snow in my part of the world will shut us down for a minimum of 6 days.  My favorite (not really, it was terrible!!) was about 4 yrs ago when we had 2-3 inches of snow.  The forecasters ALL said the snow would be concentrated below Atlanta.  So all of our ice and snow equipment (you know, that one 1950’s truck...) was moved south of the city.  Keep in mind, Atlanta is a commuter city - everybody drives 30 miles in every day.  There was no panic, no need to do a contingency... all the snow was going to be below the city.

Except of course, it wasn’t.  So all this happened at the same time:  school districts let the kids out all at the same time.  Those kids now need to be picked up immediately, but their mamas are all 30 miles away.  So every office in Atlanta said, holy cow, it’s snowing!!  And shut down for the day all at the same time.  And alllllll those mamas (and some daddy’s) ran for their cars, or ran to the Marta station - only to find out that. everydamnbody  in Atlanta was on the road, and in the snow with them.  And right about then, the guy holding the keys 1950’s truck-for-emergencies looked around and said... this.Is.Not.Good.  It really was disastrous and made us look so stupid and backward.  Jon Stewart made fun of us on the Daily Show.  

The thing is, if we only see a snowflake once every 3 years or so, and then it’s really melted off by day 2 - it’s hard to get proficient driving in that white cold sparkly stuff.  We don’t OWN snow shovels.  (What kind’o Corn you plantin’ with that funny lookin’ shovel?).  That was the perfect storm, only not.  I saw on the news that night people picking up elementary kids on riding mowers.  (Not kidding).   While you guys in Connecticut are looking for snow with longing, everybody in Atlanta is dreading the day... we don’t love snowflakes that stay on our nose and eyelashes.

 @Happyfatchick are you talking about Snowmageddon?  We didn't live here then but son and husband do, and luckily they work from home, so they watched it all on the teevee.  We had some snow last year here in our metro Atlanta area, and it wasn't bad except our house is on a hill and honestly I didn't think my little Jetta would get all the way up.  It did melt the next day.  

4 hours ago, Christina87 said:

Awwwww, thank you so much!!!! Everyone is so kind here. I think we snark on the duggars because we care about them (except for JB, Michelle, Josh, and Derick), and I think a lot of us would voice our concerns to their face if they asked. I don't think we'd walk up to them at Chick-fil-A and bother them, but if they said, "why are we experiencing ____?" we would nicely explain why we think their methods of raising kids have shortcomings. The Reddit people were nasty, though, and would not say that to anyone's face!!! I'm thinking, after a couple days, that you're right...they are the assholes of online dating (self-selecting as they're on Reddit), but probably most people out there are more decent. These are probably bitter loser guys who regularly ghost, maybe even incels who hate women! I think their hatred of me stemmed from being a woman over 30 who has the audacity to expect more than breadcrumbs. I think a lot of these loser guys hate women over 30, because they feel like we're bullies who are just now getting what we deserve. They get bitter when we're in our 20's and turn down "great guys" (who are probably disrespectful of women and/or at least 40 years old), and now they think we're finally reaping what we've sown by being alone at 30, and should be grateful for any scrap of attention. Obviously the guys I was talking to, while they stood me up and are not princes themselves, are even on a higher level than these losers, because they at least at first seemed excited to go out with someone over 30. These redditors probably would never send a single message to someone my "advanced" age!

then there was this guy on Reddit who was standing up for me, and sent me a private message, saying it sounds like the problem was that I'm fat, but sound nice. I told him I'm not fat, and sent him a picture via Imgur to "prove" I'm not, just to shut him up. I even sent one I'd taken five minutes earlier so he couldn't claim it was "old". He then proceeded to tell me that yes I am fat, and I need to "start an exercise plan" (I exercise for an hour a day) in order to ever get another date. He said at this weight, no one could possibly be interested in me past maybe a back burner option, and I'd be stood up every time. What the...? He also mentioned he was short, so maybe I am too big for HIM, but plenty of taller, bigger guys would find me ideal! I don't go after short, skinny guys anyway, or perfect tens for that matter, because I figure we will not be attracted to each other. I'd never tell these short guys that nobody would want them! Plus what's wrong with being fat? Even if I was, do I not deserve a good man? My best friend is obese...always has been...and she met a wonderful man online who adores her! She was bigger than me, and obviously got a date lol. 

Then I looked at his post history, and he spends all day on these hot or not type Reddits, where these insanely thin girls post pics and tools like this guy critique every little detail of their bodies. Get a life, dude!!!! He has probably never seen a woman IRL, except on the tv in his mother's basement. 

My gosh, people are dumb!!! That's what happens when you see a forum and just genuinely think it's a place to talk about relationships and get decent feedback. If only every online community could be like this one! This is the BEST. I went out with a friend Saturday and that definitely helped. For the record, here is the picture where I look "too fat" to get a single date with anyone on god's green earth:

Okay, you are lovely.  Inside and out.  These people have no other life.  Can you skip all of those message boards/forums?  Just stick with us.  We won't steer you wrong!!

[Christina87]

Awwwww @lookeyloo definitely!!! I'm done with Reddit except for lurking on lets's not meet. Can't give up my creepy stories! 😂😂😂

[latetotheparty]

5 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

    Thank you!

Poor kid, she found this out today, and it's her birthday. 

They took her to two different Orthos to make sure of the diagnosis.

When I just talked to her, it seemed as though she's already accepting that gymnastics might be out for her after this. They said she can't even try until it's healed for 9 months.

She seemed kind of relieved she would have to quit and it not be her decision.

Then again, I'm might be projecting 😁

(she just sent me this pic)

What a cutie!

[wilsie]

5 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Thank you!

Poor kid, she found this out today, and it's her birthday. 

They took her to two different Orthos to make sure of the diagnosis.

When I just talked to her, it seemed as though she's already accepting that gymnastics might be out for her after this. They said she can't even try until it's healed for 9 months.

She seemed kind of relieved she would have to quit and it not be her decision.

Then again, I'm might be projecting 😁

(she just sent me this pic)

Happy Birthday to your granddaughter!  She has a great smile in spite of her painful injury.  I hope everything goes well and she's able to do the things she really wants to do soon. 

[Catlyn]

On 1/13/2019 at 3:22 PM, Westiepeach said:

I was the fourth kid. There is no record of me at all. I’m not even sure I exist. 

Me too! I found a photo album bound in red leather, with everyone's names in gold. I asked why my name wasn't there, and was told I hadn't been born yet. I wondered why I wasn't added then I saw a few pictures of me stuffed in the back. It did bother me, but I did realize my brother in line next to me didn't have that many pictures either. My eldest brother had the most, then came my sister, even then most of hers were with our eldest brother.  So in the days I was really honest, I realized youngest brother was equal with m even though his name was in the album.  Thank heavens my parents never made me feel less (or as my sibs said, spoiled me).

[Westiepeach]

37 minutes ago, Catlyn said:

Me too! I found a photo album bound in red leather, with everyone's names in gold. I asked why my name wasn't there, and was told I hadn't been born yet. I wondered why I wasn't added then I saw a few pictures of me stuffed in the back. It did bother me, but I did realize my brother in line next to me didn't have that many pictures either. My eldest brother had the most, then came my sister, even then most of hers were with our eldest brother.  So in the days I was really honest, I realized youngest brother was equal with m even though his name was in the album.  Thank heavens my parents never made me feel less (or as my sibs said, spoiled me).

My parents had a triple photo frame thing with all of my sisters’ first communion pictures. Um... hello! There was a fourth daughter in the mix! You missed one! I just told people that apparently I “couldn’t wear white!” Oh well... at least I have a sense of humor...

[Love2dance]

8 hours ago, ChiCricket said:

Well,  *carp*....my granddaughter does have both a torn meniscus and a torn ACL.

 Surgery on the 29th :(

Oh dear, so sorry.

Hope she has as easy a surgery as possible and a smooth recovery. Poor thing, I’m sure she’s devastated.

[galaxychaser]

Anyone else find this odd/ strange? 

Dad sleeps on the couch while mom sleeping with son in the same bed. Son is 16 or older at the time.

[Zella]

31 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Anyone else find this odd/ strange? 

Dad sleeps on the couch while mom sleeping with son in the same bed. Son is 16 or older at the time.

Yes. 

[Mindthinkr]

36 minutes ago, galaxychaser said:

Anyone else find this odd/ strange? 

Dad sleeps on the couch while mom sleeping with son in the same bed. Son is 16 or older at the time.

Reminds me of actress Elizabeth Hurley who has (what seems an unnatural) relationship with her nephew. He is much younger and I thought I read about similar sleeping arrangements. 

[Marshmallow Mollie]

I used to work with children with special needs, and there were weird sleeping arrangements at one house I worked in. The dad slept in the same room as the son to make sure he didn’t wander at night. Which is fine, whatever. But then there was an adult daughter who was just two years younger than I was who slept in the bed with her mother, despite having her own room. When I first started, she was at college, on a very prestigious scholarship I might add, and came home every weekend, sleeping in the bed with her mom. She got her degree in psychology. Then went and got her masters. Sleeping in the bed with her mom. Now she works as a school psychologist. I moved on to a different job, so I don’t know if she ever moved out or at least to her own room. The parents obviously didn’t have a close relationship, but there wasn’t anything else that seemed odd or set off alarm bells. So weird!

[galaxychaser]

Okay I'm watching You on Netflix. So creepy. Eek. I just watched one episode. Will watch another one tonight.

 

I came to add that the said son now 30+ still lives at home, no job. His mom has like demands what his girl needs to be. 25-30 tops or she will be too old to have kids and has to be a virgin and has to be employed and making good salary...

angel boy is still surprise! single.

i have a feeling that mom needs to die for him to fly from the nest.

[allonsyalice]

You is also a book and if you haven't read it, you definitely should! It totally captivated me and although the TV is very, very , VERY good, the book is still better!

[Zella]

@galaxychaser that family dynamic you describe is really disturbing. For any of you fellow Arrested Development fans, the Motherboy vibe is strong!

My theory would be even after Mommy Dearest dies, he won't really fly from the nest because he'll be too emotionally damaged and infantalized to have a normal relationship with a woman or to stand on his own 2 feet. Not impossible but I'd say hell need massive amounts of deprogramming. . . .

[lookeyloo]

1 minute ago, Zella said:

@galaxychaser that family dynamic you describe is really disturbing. For any of you fellow Arrested Development fans, the Motherboy vibe is strong!

My theory would be even after Mommy Dearest dies, he won't really fly from the nest because he'll be too emotionally damaged and infantalized to have a normal relationship with a woman or to stand on his own 2 feet. Not impossible but I'd say hell need massive amounts of deprogramming. . . .

Interestingly, my sons' half brother still lives with Mommy. He is in his late 30s.  He doesn't date.  He has a job.  Once when we were at a family gathering she said if he ever married they would live with her.  My sons were horrified.  Anyway, the mutual father died and she and son have removed themselves from any pretense of that side of the family.  She has always hated me, although he left me for her.  She should feel like the "winner winner chicken dinner".  

[Zella]

4 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Interestingly, my sons' half brother still lives with Mommy. He is in his late 30s.  He doesn't date.  He has a job.  Once when we were at a family gathering she said if he ever married they would live with her.  My sons were horrified.  Anyway, the mutual father died and she and son have removed themselves from any pretense of that side of the family.  She has always hated me, although he left me for her.  She should feel like the "winner winner chicken dinner".  

Does he sleep in the same bed as Mommy?

That's the detail that really got me.

[Christina87]

6 hours ago, Zella said:

@galaxychaser that family dynamic you describe is really disturbing. For any of you fellow Arrested Development fans, the Motherboy vibe is strong!

My theory would be even after Mommy Dearest dies, he won't really fly from the nest because he'll be too emotionally damaged and infantalized to have a normal relationship with a woman or to stand on his own 2 feet. Not impossible but I'd say hell need massive amounts of deprogramming. . . .

MOTHERBOY XXX!!!!!! Whooooo hooooo, LOVE arrested development!!!!

[Zella]

4 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

MOTHERBOY XXX!!!!!! Whooooo hooooo, LOVE arrested development!!!!

Me too! It always makes me so sad when I make an Arrested Development quote IRL and nobody gets it. :(

[Christina87]

7 minutes ago, Zella said:

Me too! It always makes me so sad when I make an Arrested Development quote IRL and nobody gets it. :(

Me tooooooo!!!! I love to say, "I'll be in the hospital bar!" when I'm in a hospital!

[ChiCricket]

6 hours ago, Zella said:

@galaxychaser that family dynamic you describe is really disturbing. For any of you fellow Arrested Development fans, the Motherboy vibe is strong!

My theory would be even after Mommy Dearest dies, he won't really fly from the nest because he'll be too emotionally damaged and infantalized to have a normal relationship with a woman or to stand on his own 2 feet. Not impossible but I'd say hell need massive amounts of deprogramming. . . .

Also, if anyone else watches 90 Day Fiance...this describes that weirdo Colt-ee.

(Why yes,I do like trashy, trainwrecky TV) 😁

[Christina87]

Bringing over the teacher discussion from Jill's page. It's awful in NC! The principal has absolute power, and this principal is one of the ones who can charm the school board and county office. The HR lady I talked to is one of his friends, so everybody looks the other way, but with massive turnover and horrible survey results, I don't know how much longer they can ignore it even though he's a "good old boy."

During my first year of teaching, I had a lot of trouble. The people who were supposed to be helping me basically refused to, and I was not prepared for the student population we had, so discipline was pretty bad. Yet, no one would help me! This guy, we'll call him Mark for privacy's sake, came in as an AP halfway through the year. I could tell he didn't like me from day one, but pretended to "help" me. I was just thrilled to get help from somebody, so I told him all of my weaknesses. Then, suddenly he stopped helping, and came to my classroom every single day, always with something critical and nitpicky to say. All of the other admin thought that i'd had a rough first year, but not abnormally bad, but he convinced them to let him do my exit interview. It was brutal! He basically said, "why would you stay in teaching when you could do something you're good at?" but in the NASTIEST possible way!!! He said he was going to put me on an action plan (basically no school will ever touch you again if you're on one), but the principal, who liked me, overruled it. 

Second year, I found a great mentor, and she helped me set up my procedures and discipline policy so that I was very successful! I turned things completely around, and while I could tell he didn't like me, he had to go along with the party line of "we think you're doing a great job, and have dramatically improved!"

At the end of my third year, he had brown nosed the superintendent enough to push the principal out, and make him principal. I honestly tried to stay open minded about it, reasoning that my good work would speak for itself, and things couldn't be any worse than when he was AP (we had HUGE turnover after his first year as AP). I hadn't had the slightest hiccup with my performance, just like many other teachers have rough first years and go on to do well. However, I was SO stressed about him that I started getting daily debilitating migraines right before school started, even spending one night in the ER. I suffered from these migraines until late October, and miraculously didn't have to miss many days with the help of imitrex, but felt terrible all the time. I also lost 25% of my hair, and felt so weak a lot of the time that I could barely stand. I was really careful not to let my performance suffer, and it didn't to a big degree, but obviously you can't do your very best in that condition. Then, after Christmas, I got strep throat twice, and had mono. It was just the worst year, with a health struggle all the time. I gained 50 pounds that second semester too. Yet, I gave everything I DID have to work, and even pulled off a spring musical! To my surprise, I heard that one of my best friends was being bullied by him, kind of like I'd been my first year. She had a stellar track record, and he kept finding the dumbest things to be mad about. For example, she taught special ed, and he came in during their breaks and said their class was doing nothing. She pointed out that it was their break, and suggested he come another time. He insisted on coming that time every day, and insisted she was a lazy teacher who never made them work. Then he came to her and said he had data that her class was only 11% academic. She asked where this data came from, and he said, "I peek in the windows sometime." One day, a former employee who still worked for the school system visited her classroom, but didn't sign in. Even though she didn't open the door for this person (how was she supposed to know she didn't sign in?), he wrote her up for "letting unauthorized people in the building" and gave her a low review on her observation, citing that incident! Then he claimed she had talked about him in front of students (her students are nonverbal), when really she had never done that, and her two assistants went to him and swore up and down that she never had. He made her sign a paper saying she would never talk about him in front of students, and said he'd fire her if she ever did it again. Also, she got yelled at in the hall by a ridiculous teacher (and I know...I've been yelled at by her too!) and he said she does not work well with peers, and wrote her up for that. She found a new job and quit!

That year, my principal was hanging around when the AP said we were going to have our end of year meeting, and said he'd like to be in on it. I knew I'd done well, but it made me nervous. I had all proficient and above on every evaluation, and the first thing he said was, "you have straight proficient here, and I could change them all the developing if I want to." He proceeded to hardcore YELL at me for an hour about how this is HIS school, and he wants only the very best. The program is not elite enough for him (we don't have elite kids, or a schedule that allows for competitions), and said that he has different standards than the state. With a smirk, he said, "I'm coming to your Christmas concert, and if I'm not satisfied, I'll give you developing the rest of the year for proficient work, and there's nothing you can do about it. Then I can fire you, because I don't want you here." It's also worth mentioning he had never been to one of my concerts, but "had the feeling" they weren't good enough (no parents had complained, btw, and everyone was happy). He went on and on about how I was hurting children by teaching them, and said everyone in the school hated me because of these little technicalities (which was not true). I asked how I could improve, and he said, "some things you can't put into words." He also said we couldn't do musicals anymore unless they were professional quality. I asked him if anything was wrong with the musical (he actually did go to that), and he said, "no, it was good. I just will only have elite quality at my school." He was YELLING and out of control, and I calmly asked if he could address me respectfully, to which he replied, "you don't deserve respect!" When he stormed out, the AP was stunned, and told me I was doing a good job, and just to keep doing my best. 

So I came back in the fall, healthy, and did the very hardest music I could even imagine. He put lots of troublemakers in my class just to make it harder, but I managed to win them over, and had my best semester ever! He came to my concert, and there was no way he could criticize it. Then, the best thing ever fell into his lap. I had a RIDICULOUS parent complaint, from someone who sheltered her child, who was very upset that I told them that 100 years ago, people had to raise and kill their own livestock for food (it had to do with a music documentary we watched). She also alleged that I said a lot of ridiculous things, that were either justifiable half truths, or just flat out never happened. Since he couldn't say my concert was bad, this letter gave him ammunition!

He observed me in February, and came to me right before to talk about the letter. I explained the parts that were half true, and he said that parent complained about everything. Then, of course he came to an all-troublemaker class, but it went wonderfully, without the slightest discipline slip up. I was so proud of myself, knowing he had finally seen an amazing lesson! I basically did the same thing I'd done for the AP early in the year, and had gotten my highest scores ever. Then, I was ridiculously shocked when I saw that he had slammed me in the scores! I got all decelopings (unheard of or someone in their fifth year), and he had written an essay about that parent complaint to justify it. He also said all this stuff like, "she doesn't have the tools to comprehend the complexity of music," and a bunch of other stuff that was total BS. At this point, I knew my only choice was to leave. He was doing exactly what he said he would do, and I wasn't going to stick around for the inevitable firing!

i told the AP, and she was really sad that I wanted to leave, and tried to tell me out of it. I also insisted she come to every meeting with me, because I never wanted to be alone with him again. When I told him I was leaving, he lit up like a Christmas tree, told me he'd give me a fantastic reference, and agreed to change a lot of my developing scores because "well, I guess this wasn't that bad. You're a solid music teacher and will do well elsewhere." That just proved his agenda even more!

i expected him to get off my back after that, but he took special care to make my last few months as horrible as he could! Every day it was something ridiculous and minute, and he would act like it was a huge deal. He would write, "see me in my office directly after school," and scare me to death, and then berate me, gave me sign letters, put things in my file, etc, all for really dumb reasons. That game we played in drama "upset" him, where one kid plays an annoying character, and the other kid leaves when they have had enough. It's a classic theatre game, and the kids love it! He said he "didn't want them playing negative characters" and said I'd never understand because I don't have children. Then the behavior coach informed me that mark was watching the camera in my classroom 24/7, so he could find these nitpicky things to call me in for. He kept warning me that I was one step away from an action plan. I think it would have delighted him so much to get me on a plan and fire me right before the end of the year.  One day, the librarian overheard him saying I'd broken one of his rules I'd signed on to (every student being in my sight at all times) when I sent two kids to the hall to wait for the behavior coach (for the record, I could see them), and I took an absence the next day and refused to come back to school unless I was safe from an action plan. That would have meant no concert, so he agreed. When I came back, I had missed a faculty meeting, where he had yelled at the faculty for giving him bad scores on our county-wide survey. At the end of the year, several people quit, and two retired who wanted to stay longer, but couldn't deal with him. Many, many more were panicked at the thought of coming back, and either found other jobs over the summer, or just decided they could swing it for a while and quit. Several have quit mid year this year, too. 

I look back at that and feel like I've never made a better decision in my life. Even though it's been hard finding a job, I am still a billion percent happier. I know I'll find the right job for me, but I literally rejoice every day that I'm out of that prison. I went on a cruise over the summer, and kept CONSTANTLY taking selfies, because for the first time in two years, I looked happy. You can't fake that, and then when you see it in your eyes, it's like a drug! I'd suggest to anyone, if possible, please get out before you become that miserable! There is nothing in the world worth feeling like that. 

Edited January 16, 2019 by Christina87

[Barb23]

17 hours ago, allonsyalice said:

You is also a book and if you haven't read it, you definitely should! It totally captivated me and although the TV is very, very , VERY good, the book is still better!

Can someone provide me with an author's name?  Thanks.

[allonsyalice]

1 minute ago, Barb23 said:

Can someone provide me with an author's name?  Thanks.

You-Caroline Kepnes

[Barb23]

7 hours ago, allonsyalice said:

You-Caroline Kepnes

Thanks so much. Can't wait to read it. 

When I tried searching on my own, of course I came up with a zillion books with You in the title. But I did come across a book I read years ago that I wanted to read again but couldn't remember title or writer, so it turned out to be a useful search anyway.  The book was originally given to me in a pile of books from my mom's neighbor when I was unable to go out & get my own books.  It was one I probably  would have never chosen for myself.  I like when things turn out that way.  

[lianau]

On 1/14/2019 at 9:01 PM, ChiCricket said:

    Thank you!

Poor kid, she found this out today, and it's her birthday. 

They took her to two different Orthos to make sure of the diagnosis.

When I just talked to her, it seemed as though she's already accepting that gymnastics might be out for her after this. They said she can't even try until it's healed for 9 months.

She seemed kind of relieved she would have to quit and it not be her decision.

Then again, I might be projecting 😁

(she just sent me this pic)

poor kid . Would diving be an option ? There a lots of divers who started out as gymnasts. 

[latetotheparty]

5 hours ago, GeeGolly said:

I agree. It's not like he needs to take a vow of poverty, but where's the humility and faith in what God provides for those who serve Him. And as a preacher, it's my opinion that he's modeling poor behavior emphasizing  luxury (for lack of a better word) rather than needs or more humble wants. ANd what about the money the parishioners contribute? They put their last five bucks in the pot and Jeremy is wearing a $80 tie?!

To share a very, very, very loose analogy, my kids' orthodontist remodeled his office and he was demonstrating this window/electronic white board/electronic mirror thingamabobby to myself and my kids. The entire time I'm thinking, well fancy that, a modern window that he'll never use and I basically paid for. And lo and behold the words that I and his other patients paid for that came flying out of my mouth before I could put the words back in. Well he squirmed a bit and then went into how he took out loans to pay for the remodel.

Anyway, yes, I think Jeremy is behaving in a tacky manner and he doesn't annoy me as much as he annoys you.

I really have a problem with this kind of thing in medical settings. When so many struggle to obtain and pay for basic care this display of bells and whistles is, at best, tone deaf. And it’s everywhere. I think doctors can and should look successful without flaunting. 

[Scarlett45]

8 hours ago, latetotheparty said:

I really have a problem with this kind of thing in medical settings. When so many struggle to obtain and pay for basic care this display of bells and whistles is, at best, tone deaf. And it’s everywhere. I think doctors can and should look successful without flaunting. 

I think it’s wise to for a doctor to spend the profits from their business, improving their business. That’s how it’s grows and becomes more successful. I don’t think a doctor/dentist/orthodontist etc has a responsibility to make sure their facilities are not fancy enough as not to offend their patients or affordable for every single person in a 50mile radius.

Of course if the medical professional is stealing from their patients, charging them for unnecessary services without informed consent, giving them poor medical care THAT wrong- but if someone (or a population of people) cannot afford x particular medical professionals services (because of the location or design of their office), that’s not indicative of the medical professional being unethical. It just means they cannot afford it!

The dentist in the strip mall may be just as good as the dentist in the high rise, but the rent in the high rise facility is higher, so the services will cost more- I don’t think the dentist with the high rise facility is cheating anyone by charging more. 

[tarheel220]

I wanted to add that it's not only teachers and TAs who have to drive buses, bookkeepers do too.  I had to go through the training and pay for the license although I got reimbursed.  Never used it though because when school let out, the principal at the time fired me.  She and the teachers and PTA (who thought they ran the school) didn't like me.  They were used to the one before me letting them get their way.  She came up with stuff that I knew I hadn't done.  I left there after two years and have sworn I'll never go back into the school system.  I'm back at the university I was working at before I left for the school system.  Much happier although my boss drives me nuts on a daily basis. LOL!

[zoomama]

On 1/16/2019 at 8:39 AM, Christina87 said:

Bringing over the teacher discussion from Jill's page. It's awful in NC! The principal has absolute power, and this principal is one of the ones who can charm the school board and county office. The HR lady I talked to is one of his friends, so everybody looks the other way, but with massive turnover and horrible survey results, I don't know how much longer they can ignore it even though he's a "good old boy."

During my first year of teaching, I had a lot of trouble. The people who were supposed to be helping me basically refused to, and I was not prepared for the student population we had, so discipline was pretty bad. Yet, no one would help me! This guy, we'll call him Mark for privacy's sake, came in as an AP halfway through the year. I could tell he didn't like me from day one, but pretended to "help" me. I was just thrilled to get help from somebody, so I told him all of my weaknesses. Then, suddenly he stopped helping, and came to my classroom every single day, always with something critical and nitpicky to say. All of the other admin thought that i'd had a rough first year, but not abnormally bad, but he convinced them to let him do my exit interview. It was brutal! He basically said, "why would you stay in teaching when you could do something you're good at?" but in the NASTIEST possible way!!! He said he was going to put me on an action plan (basically no school will ever touch you again if you're on one), but the principal, who liked me, overruled it. 

Second year, I found a great mentor, and she helped me set up my procedures and discipline policy so that I was very successful! I turned things completely around, and while I could tell he didn't like me, he had to go along with the party line of "we think you're doing a great job, and have dramatically improved!"

At the end of my third year, he had brown nosed the superintendent enough to push the principal out, and make him principal. I honestly tried to stay open minded about it, reasoning that my good work would speak for itself, and things couldn't be any worse than when he was AP (we had HUGE turnover after his first year as AP). I hadn't had the slightest hiccup with my performance, just like many other teachers have rough first years and go on to do well. However, I was SO stressed about him that I started getting daily debilitating migraines right before school started, even spending one night in the ER. I suffered from these migraines until late October, and miraculously didn't have to miss many days with the help of imitrex, but felt terrible all the time. I also lost 25% of my hair, and felt so weak a lot of the time that I could barely stand. I was really careful not to let my performance suffer, and it didn't to a big degree, but obviously you can't do your very best in that condition. Then, after Christmas, I got strep throat twice, and had mono. It was just the worst year, with a health struggle all the time. I gained 50 pounds that second semester too. Yet, I gave everything I DID have to work, and even pulled off a spring musical! To my surprise, I heard that one of my best friends was being bullied by him, kind of like I'd been my first year. She had a stellar track record, and he kept finding the dumbest things to be mad about. For example, she taught special ed, and he came in during their breaks and said their class was doing nothing. She pointed out that it was their break, and suggested he come another time. He insisted on coming that time every day, and insisted she was a lazy teacher who never made them work. Then he came to her and said he had data that her class was only 11% academic. She asked where this data came from, and he said, "I peek in the windows sometime." One day, a former employee who still worked for the school system visited her classroom, but didn't sign in. Even though she didn't open the door for this person (how was she supposed to know she didn't sign in?), he wrote her up for "letting unauthorized people in the building" and gave her a low review on her observation, citing that incident! Then he claimed she had talked about him in front of students (her students are nonverbal), when really she had never done that, and her two assistants went to him and swore up and down that she never had. He made her sign a paper saying she would never talk about him in front of students, and said he'd fire her if she ever did it again. Also, she got yelled at in the hall by a ridiculous teacher (and I know...I've been yelled at by her too!) and he said she does not work well with peers, and wrote her up for that. She found a new job and quit!

That year, my principal was hanging around when the AP said we were going to have our end of year meeting, and said he'd like to be in on it. I knew I'd done well, but it made me nervous. I had all proficient and above on every evaluation, and the first thing he said was, "you have straight proficient here, and I could change them all the developing if I want to." He proceeded to hardcore YELL at me for an hour about how this is HIS school, and he wants only the very best. The program is not elite enough for him (we don't have elite kids, or a schedule that allows for competitions), and said that he has different standards than the state. With a smirk, he said, "I'm coming to your Christmas concert, and if I'm not satisfied, I'll give you developing the rest of the year for proficient work, and there's nothing you can do about it. Then I can fire you, because I don't want you here." It's also worth mentioning he had never been to one of my concerts, but "had the feeling" they weren't good enough (no parents had complained, btw, and everyone was happy). He went on and on about how I was hurting children by teaching them, and said everyone in the school hated me because of these little technicalities (which was not true). I asked how I could improve, and he said, "some things you can't put into words." He also said we couldn't do musicals anymore unless they were professional quality. I asked him if anything was wrong with the musical (he actually did go to that), and he said, "no, it was good. I just will only have elite quality at my school." He was YELLING and out of control, and I calmly asked if he could address me respectfully, to which he replied, "you don't deserve respect!" When he stormed out, the AP was stunned, and told me I was doing a good job, and just to keep doing my best. 

So I came back in the fall, healthy, and did the very hardest music I could even imagine. He put lots of troublemakers in my class just to make it harder, but I managed to win them over, and had my best semester ever! He came to my concert, and there was no way he could criticize it. Then, the best thing ever fell into his lap. I had a RIDICULOUS parent complaint, from someone who sheltered her child, who was very upset that I told them that 100 years ago, people had to raise and kill their own livestock for food (it had to do with a music documentary we watched). She also alleged that I said a lot of ridiculous things, that were either justifiable half truths, or just flat out never happened. Since he couldn't say my concert was bad, this letter gave him ammunition!

He observed me in February, and came to me right before to talk about the letter. I explained the parts that were half true, and he said that parent complained about everything. Then, of course he came to an all-troublemaker class, but it went wonderfully, without the slightest discipline slip up. I was so proud of myself, knowing he had finally seen an amazing lesson! I basically did the same thing I'd done for the AP early in the year, and had gotten my highest scores ever. Then, I was ridiculously shocked when I saw that he had slammed me in the scores! I got all decelopings (unheard of or someone in their fifth year), and he had written an essay about that parent complaint to justify it. He also said all this stuff like, "she doesn't have the tools to comprehend the complexity of music," and a bunch of other stuff that was total BS. At this point, I knew my only choice was to leave. He was doing exactly what he said he would do, and I wasn't going to stick around for the inevitable firing!

i told the AP, and she was really sad that I wanted to leave, and tried to tell me out of it. I also insisted she come to every meeting with me, because I never wanted to be alone with him again. When I told him I was leaving, he lit up like a Christmas tree, told me he'd give me a fantastic reference, and agreed to change a lot of my developing scores because "well, I guess this wasn't that bad. You're a solid music teacher and will do well elsewhere." That just proved his agenda even more!

i expected him to get off my back after that, but he took special care to make my last few months as horrible as he could! Every day it was something ridiculous and minute, and he would act like it was a huge deal. He would write, "see me in my office directly after school," and scare me to death, and then berate me, gave me sign letters, put things in my file, etc, all for really dumb reasons. That game we played in drama "upset" him, where one kid plays an annoying character, and the other kid leaves when they have had enough. It's a classic theatre game, and the kids love it! He said he "didn't want them playing negative characters" and said I'd never understand because I don't have children. Then the behavior coach informed me that mark was watching the camera in my classroom 24/7, so he could find these nitpicky things to call me in for. He kept warning me that I was one step away from an action plan. I think it would have delighted him so much to get me on a plan and fire me right before the end of the year.  One day, the librarian overheard him saying I'd broken one of his rules I'd signed on to (every student being in my sight at all times) when I sent two kids to the hall to wait for the behavior coach (for the record, I could see them), and I took an absence the next day and refused to come back to school unless I was safe from an action plan. That would have meant no concert, so he agreed. When I came back, I had missed a faculty meeting, where he had yelled at the faculty for giving him bad scores on our county-wide survey. At the end of the year, several people quit, and two retired who wanted to stay longer, but couldn't deal with him. Many, many more were panicked at the thought of coming back, and either found other jobs over the summer, or just decided they could swing it for a while and quit. Several have quit mid year this year, too. 

I look back at that and feel like I've never made a better decision in my life. Even though it's been hard finding a job, I am still a billion percent happier. I know I'll find the right job for me, but I literally rejoice every day that I'm out of that prison. I went on a cruise over the summer, and kept CONSTANTLY taking selfies, because for the first time in two years, I looked happy. You can't fake that, and then when you see it in your eyes, it's like a drug! I'd suggest to anyone, if possible, please get out before you become that miserable! There is nothing in the world worth feeling like that. 

i also left teaching. i was a para-pro, not a credentialed teacher but certainly did the job of teaching special ed students daily. i loved my job and my 'kids'. but the admin was so difficult for me to work with at my final school site. i was undermined daily, watched, even brought to tears a few times. my lead teacher had the same issues. we were a team that transferred together  to that site when the school opened and it was never good from the beginning. i finally had a physical/health  reason to leave so i did. i was sad  about it but so glad to be away from the tension of the admins.  sadly, they forget that we are there for the kids, not the kudos.

[ChiCricket]

19 hours ago, lianau said:

poor kid . Would diving be an option ? There a lots of divers who started out as gymnasts. 

Good idea!

[Christina87]

1 hour ago, ChiCricket said:

Good idea!

Definitely! My friend did that too, before she discovered pole vaulting. The diving place was just too far if a drive ultimately, but she loved it. Your granddaughter has a whole world of opportunity open to her if she wants to stay in sports! 

Everyone, meet Fluffy!!! She's my new baby. The others were still so depressed about Kiwi's death, and I was going to wait a little longer, but they were really starting to worry me. Didn't fly, or even chirp much. When they met Fluffy, they perked right up! Fluffy's a fun girl, and she is SO inquisitive! She's jumped right into the flock, and she's fitting in so well already. I love Fluffy. ❤️❤️❤️

Edited January 17, 2019 by Christina87

[Suzn]

38 minutes ago, Christina87 said:

Definitely! My friend did that too, before she discovered pole vaulting. The diving place was just too far if a drive ultimately, but she loved it. Your granddaughter has a whole world of opportunity open to her if she wants to stay in sports! 

Everyone, meet Fluffy!!! She's my new baby. The others were still so depressed about Kiwi's death, and I was going to wait a little longer, but they were really starting to worry me. Didn't fly, or even chirp much. When they met Fluffy, they perked right up! Fluffy's a fun girl, and she is SO inquisitive! She's jumped right into the flock, and she's fitting in so well already. I love Fluffy. ❤️❤️❤️

Such a pretty girl!

[Scarlett45]

@Christina87 your bird is so cute!

 

AND the water delivery man with kissing impulses returned AGAIN. He didn’t speak to me (thank goodness I was in a meeting)- my bosses want to know why the company hasn’t moved his route yet. 

[Bayarea4]

Fluffy is adorable. I love budgies and have had four of them. The last one died in 1997. I was so heartbroken that I never got another bird. But I couldn't bear to part with the bird cage, which had been home to all my birds. It sat vacant in the garage for over 20 years. Then, just before Christmas, I read a post on our neighborhood website about a lost budgie. Some neighbors had found him and were keeping him until the owner could be located. But I could see from the photo they posted that the little guy was pretty stressed out, and he had nowhere to perch except on tables or curtain rods. He was all fluffed out with his head turned around and tucked into his feathers.

 

I contacted the couple who had him and offered to loan my empty cage, and they happily accepted. When the owner still hadn't been found after a week, they asked me if I would like to take over fostering the bird, and I was delighted to bring him home. He was a pretty blue boy but quite shy and easily spooked. I would like to have kept him but felt he'd be better off with his owner and preferably with other birds, since he didn't seem to be very well socialized.

 

A nice lady who'd lost her own blue budgie offered to take him, thinking he might be the one she lost. When I brought him to her house, she took a look and said she didn't think it was the same bird, but I let her have him anyway because she had three other birds and he'd have company. When I left, the little blue runaway was "kissing" one of new his cage mates, so even though I hated to give him up, I think he'll be better off in his new home. And now I'm thinking of getting a bird of my own.

 

 

 

 

 

[Christina87]

22 minutes ago, Bayarea4 said:

Fluffy is adorable. I love budgies and have had four of them. The last one died in 1997. I was so heartbroken that I never got another bird. But I couldn't bear to part with the bird cage, which had been home to all my birds. It sat vacant in the garage for over 20 years. Then, just before Christmas, I read a post on our neighborhood website about a lost budgie. Some neighbors had found him and were keeping him until the owner could be located. But I could see from the photo they posted that the little guy was pretty stressed out, and he had nowhere to perch except on tables or curtain rods. He was all fluffed out with his head turned around and tucked into his feathers.

 

I contacted the couple who had him and offered to loan my empty cage, and they happily accepted. When the owner still hadn't been found after a week, they asked me if I would like to take over fostering the bird, and I was delighted to bring him home. He was a pretty blue boy but quite shy and easily spooked. I would like to have kept him but felt he'd be better off with his owner and preferably with other birds, since he didn't seem to be very well socialized.

 

A nice lady who'd lost her own blue budgie offered to take him, thinking he might be the one she lost. When I brought him to her house, she took a look and said she didn't think it was the same bird, but I let her have him anyway because she had three other birds and he'd have company. When I left, the little blue runaway was "kissing" one of new his cage mates, so even though I hated to give him up, I think he'll be better off in his new home. And now I'm thinking of getting a bird of my own.

 

 

 

 

 

AWWWWW!!!! Do it! Get a new bird now!!! Having birds has made such a huge difference for me. I love having them to come home to, and they're just so darn entertaining! They each have a unique personality, for sure. It's a miracle that your blue friend was found! One of the birds I had was found by a friend of my dad's, too. Right after he found it, I posted a picture of my birds, and tagged my dad in it. It was meant to be! That sweet bird is so wonderful, and I'm delighted to give him a home. 

Your pretty blue friend reminds me of my Roy! I named Roy after Roy Williams, but then Roy turned out to be a she. Hahahaha! Budgies are the best. I highly suggest getting some more! Roy is below. 😃

Edited January 17, 2019 by Christina87

[Sew Sumi]

Go Tarheels! Although I have to say that I have never named any of my kitties after players or coaches. Maybe my next boy cat will be Dean Smith. 😁

[Christina87]

9 minutes ago, Sew Sumi said:

Go Tarheels! Although I have to say that I have never named any of my kitties after players or coaches. Maybe my next boy cat will be Dean Smith. 😁

I want to get a male bird named Dean one day! The one that was found, who was a blue male, is Woody after woody Durham. He is carolina blue and white!

[Sew Sumi]

Woody Durham would be an awesome name. Loved me some Woody. RIP. 

[Love2dance]

@Bayarea4, you definitely should get yourself a new birdie! You sound like you are ready and it would bring you a lot of enjoyment.

[lookeyloo]

@Christina87 fluffy is adorable!!

i had my first cataract removed today. The thing that worried me the most was the no eating!  I have learned that the guidelines for fasting before anesthesia have changed to be more lenient. Apparently many clinics have not kept up.  I did “cheat” by having water and some Gatorade a few hours before we got there. The wait in the back was longer because of waiting for my eyes to dilate. Had the laser procedure first and then the conscious sedation for rest of it which didn’t put me out. Came home and took long nap. The first thing I noticed through the blur is that white is really white and not cream color! Next one in 2.5 weeks because of scheduling. 

[galaxychaser]

I found deadly women on hulu. And I’m watching it all the time!

34 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

@Christina87 fluffy is adorable!!

i had my first cataract removed today. The thing that worried me the most was the no eating!  I have learned that the guidelines for fasting before anesthesia have changed to be more lenient. Apparently many clinics have not kept up.  I did “cheat” by having water and some Gatorade a few hours before we got there. The wait in the back was longer because of waiting for my eyes to dilate. Had the laser procedure first and then the conscious sedation for rest of it which didn’t put me out. Came home and took long nap. The first thing I noticed through the blur is that white is really white and not cream color! Next one in 2.5 weeks because of scheduling. 

Wishing you a speedy recovery!

[Christina87]

43 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

@Christina87 fluffy is adorable!!

i had my first cataract removed today. The thing that worried me the most was the no eating!  I have learned that the guidelines for fasting before anesthesia have changed to be more lenient. Apparently many clinics have not kept up.  I did “cheat” by having water and some Gatorade a few hours before we got there. The wait in the back was longer because of waiting for my eyes to dilate. Had the laser procedure first and then the conscious sedation for rest of it which didn’t put me out. Came home and took long nap. The first thing I noticed through the blur is that white is really white and not cream color! Next one in 2.5 weeks because of scheduling. 

What's it like to have cataracts? I get floaters and they are bad enough! Can't imagine full blown cataracts!

So glad he surgery went well. I'll be thinking of you as you recover! Hope you get lots of rest, and plenty of people pamper you. 😃 how many more surgeries do you need?