Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Muffyn]

On ‎10‎/‎12‎/‎2016 at 1:41 PM, Absolom said:

I'm getting a good laugh at going from missionary "to the lost" to working in a bar.  He's a jewel for sure.  ;)

Maybe he'll hand out Chick Tracts at the bar to get people on the path to Jesus!

@lookeyloo So sorry for your loss.  There are such complicated emotions with these types of loss.  As you said, in many  ways you lost her years ago to dementia.  However, there is still always something comforting to know someone is alive because it is hard to quash all hope that they will somehow recover.  Hugs to you and your husband.

[Tabbygirl521]

13 hours ago, lookeyloo said:

So I am now in the Pacific Northwest. We are expected to have the "storm of all storms" wind and rain included. I left beautiful autumn weather. And mid flight hubs changed my return flight to head to PA for his mother's funeral. We knew this time was coming. She was in a place with severe dementia and then developed a "Kennedy ulcer" a couple weeks ago. We lost her several years ago because of the dementia so we are all feeling mostly relief. I'm sure there will be tears at the funeral. I left my funeral things at home so hubs will pack those and his suit and such. We were supposed to go to the pumpkin patch today. Doubtful. 

{{I am so sorry about your MIL. I know what you mean about having already "lost" her - but still. So sad.}}

[Tabbygirl521]

So I am in the PNW also, awaiting the Storm of the Decade or whatever. We have 9 huge Doug firs around the house, so any windstorm tends to freak me out, but this one sounds truly scary. it's being compared to the Columbus Day storm of 1962 and the Hanukkah Eve storm of 2006, both of which I vividly recall. AIEEEE! It is calm right now after a rainy and breezy day, but tomorrow afternoon apparently Armaggedon will be unleashed. **whimper** 

Edited October 15, 2016 by Tabbygirl521

[lookeyloo]

Thanks @Tabbygirl521 - right - still sad. We were visiting for Chanukah in 2006 and our festivities were disrupted with a power outage. I think I had finished up making the latkes by then.  All quiet here in our suburb southeast of Seattle right now. 

 

I got to watch a counting on with the daughter in law. We both agree how boring that show is. Their lives are boring unless more goes on behind the scenes. 

[frenchtoast]

Be safe, @Tabbygirl521. I hope it's not as bad as they're saying it will be and that everyone is able to ride it out with minimal property damage and no power outages.

[louannems]

9 hours ago, Tabbygirl521 said:

So I am in the PNW also, awaiting the Storm of the Decade or whatever. We have 9 huge Doug firs around the house, so any windstorm tends to freak me out, but this one sounds truly scary. it's being compared to the Columbus Day storm of 1962 and the Hanukkah Eve storm of 2006, both of which I vividly recall. AIEEEE! It is calm right now after a rainy and breezy day, but tomorrow afternoon apparently Armaggedon will be unleashed. **whimper** 

I remember both storms!  We're supposed to get the worst winds today fro 4 to 9 PM.  But all this rain has me nervously gazing at the ceilings, checking for leaks.  We had one repaired a few years ago and so far it is holding!  Keep safe! (In Kent)

[bigskygirl]

Looks like I am mild hyperthyroid according to the latest blood test, so another change in the thyroid med dosage. I see the endocrinologist next month and another blood test in eight weeks. My eyes are still trying to adjust to the new glasses. I can see better while on the computer and reading with the bifocals, but I keep my older glasses with me for distance and driving. I see well with my prescription sunglasses when I go outside or driving, so I am hoping I can put off getting new ones and new non-bifocal glasses until springtime next year. I miss my progressive lenses, and I hope with my next pair of glasses my eye doctor will be able to put in a prescription for reading and computer work because I love to read and be on the computer.

I went down to the local library and got a new library card yesterday. I came home with eight books to read. I can renew books after three weeks on the library website and drop them off at the East Helena Branch Library. The library also has a bookmobile that comes to the area where I live in front of the mailboxes at least once a month. I did try to read on an I-Pad before, but my eyes were starting to get affected by the blasted light sensitivity and eye damage, so I decided to sell it. I have been thinking of getting a Kindle for reading, but I enjoy buying or going to the library to get books. I am also thinking of buying coloring books because it does seem to be relaxing especially after dealing with medical issues and related stress of the last four years.

[frenchtoast]

I love going to the library. If they don't have a book, I can put it on hold. The library offers all sorts of programs ranging for infants all the way up to seniors. It is one of the best community resources and the librarians are awesome. I gotta admit, I prefer books to electronics because I am prone to dropping things and it's better to toss a book than a Kindle. Also, I tend to read in looong stretches and I get irked when the battery dies. And I don't like the electronic bookmarks either. Basically, I'm a grouchy old lady in a 41 year old's body.

[Absolom]

I've grown to love the electronic books.  I can read on my phone anywhere.  I don't have to drive to get books and they never go overdue as they self-return.  I admit it has surprised me because I didn't like the kindle and I hate to read on the ipad. 

[lookeyloo]

I love a library!  I like electronic books, audiobooks, hard cover and soft cover. 

[bigskygirl]

13 minutes ago, frenchtoast said:

I love going to the library. If they don't have a book, I can put it on hold. The library offers all sorts of programs ranging for infants all the way up to seniors. It is one of the best community resources and the librarians are awesome. I gotta admit, I prefer books to electronics because I am prone to dropping things and it's better to toss a book than a Kindle. Also, I tend to read in looong stretches and I get irked when the battery dies. And I don't like the electronic bookmarks either. Basically, I'm a grouchy old lady in a 41 year old's body.

I am the same way. I like being able to go into a place and find and/or buy a book to read at the library or a store. I also like the fact I can order a book on the library site, go into a store or order off of Amazon to get books. The library here is great, and the staff was nice and friendly when I got my card and check out the books I was taking home. My husband loves his I-Pad for reading, but my eyes still do not care for electronic books. I wore my bifocals last night while reading, and my eyes did okay. I can get too relax while reading and fall asleep, but it could be the sleep apnea kicking in. I guess I'm a grouchy old lady in a 53 year old's body. Ha!!!

[NewDigs]

46 minutes ago, bigskygirl said:

I went down to the local library and got a new library card yesterday. I came home with eight books to read. I can renew books after three weeks on the library website and drop them off at the East Helena Branch Library. The library also has a bookmobile that comes to the area where I live in front of the mailboxes at least once a month. I did try to read on an I-Pad before, but my eyes were starting to get affected by the blasted light sensitivity and eye damage, so I decided to sell it. I have been thinking of getting a Kindle for reading, but I enjoy buying or going to the library to get books. I am also thinking of buying coloring books because it does seem to be relaxing especially after dealing with medical issues and related stress of the last four years.

I couldn't support my habit w/o my libraries. Our countywide system is exceptional. 

I started having eye issues which I too attributed to reading for hours on my iPad. @Kromm did an excellent job 'splaining why this happens over in the Books forum  (check from this post and down a few) and it has to do with the lighted pixels which the Kindle Paperwhite does not have. 

I, and others, switched to the Paperwhite and have been comfortably reading those. I will always prefer a real book but sometimes e-books serve a true purpose/service. I love the highlight-to-define feature and often the search function helps remind me who's who in some heavily populated books. 

Hope all in the PNW need to only hold onto their hats! Yikes!

So sorry for your loss @lookeyloo and understand the sometimes at odds feelings associated with such a loss. Such sadness yet a feeling of peaceful release and relief. Be well.

And thrilled with HFC's daughter's divorce decision. Whew!

[NewDigs]

On 10/14/2016 at 11:22 AM, lookeyloo said:

I left my funeral things at home so hubs will pack those and his suit and such. 

Is he good at stuff like that? I drove home last night trying to picture what my husband would cobble together. Even thinking with precise direction? It wasn't pretty. Lol

[Happyfatchick]

^^^^^ I noticed that too, Lookey!  I can just IMAGINE what I'd have to wear to a funeral if my husband got my clothes together!!!  Even with VERY specific directions, ahhhh, just. No..  Luckily I now have a daughter back in the area, and a DIL who wouldn't let me go looking like a rag doll (with sneakers!), so I'd have a backup plan!

[emma675]

Check in and let us know how you're doing, all of you PNW'ers! My East coast friends made it safely through Matthew, although there was some damage in Savannah where they live.

HFC, congrats on the happy divorce news (if that's not too tacky, lol)! I hope things go quickly and smoothly and your daughter gets her groove back. Didn't you say she was a nurse before all of this missionary stuff? Will she be able to go back to that, if she wants?

[Arwen Evenstar]

1 hour ago, Happyfatchick said:

^^^^^ I noticed that too, Lookey!  I can just IMAGINE what I'd have to wear to a funeral if my husband got my clothes together!!!  Even with VERY specific directions, ahhhh, just. No..  Luckily I now have a daughter back in the area, and a DIL who wouldn't let me go looking like a rag doll (with sneakers!), so I'd have a backup plan!

Lol to that! My husband is a darling man, but he's one of those men that needs to be supervised at all times! 

Since I've been lurking more than commenting on this :

Lookey, sorry for the loss of your MIL.

Micks Picks, I'm so sorry to hear about your vision. I can't even imagine how debilitating and frightening that is!

[Tabbygirl521]

10 hours ago, louannems said:

I remember both storms!  We're supposed to get the worst winds today fro 4 to 9 PM.  But all this rain has me nervously gazing at the ceilings, checking for leaks.  We had one repaired a few years ago and so far it is holding!  Keep safe! (In Kent)

I am near Brier. Nothing happening here yet! Occasion little breezes but not even much rain. I'm watching KING and they are basically saying, "Don't kid yourself just because it seems calm now." Ack! You stay safe, too!

ETA: here we go. The wind is kicking up and our lights keep dimming. Where's the wine...?

Edited October 16, 2016 by Tabbygirl521

[lookeyloo]

We are in south sound and nothing much yet as far as the storm  

Re mr lookeyloo and packing. I left all my things in a folded pile. All he has to do is pick them up and put in the suitcase. I have left him a detailed list of what to pack for himself. I can't trust him ever with packing so I always do it. He forgets things like his blood pressure meds. He is only responsible for his meds. And I remind him. And then when we are ready I say "do you have your meds?" And half the time he says "I thought you were packing them" what???!  But somehow we manage. 

[Micks Picks]

Arian thanks for the vote off confidence.  For those in the storms, since my eyes are so bad, I have flashlights, powerful ones, all over just for regular use.  I'm going to get a couple more, too.  Of course they are black so I put colorful ugly but very bright tape on them so I can find them.  If a storm is coming I'd have some kind of flashlight behind every door in the house so I can find some kind of light to lead me to the ones I use to really see with.  

Looky I am sorry for the loss of your MIL.  It's so sad when loved ones die, and it hurts me terribly to see wonderful people with dementia who would be horrified at  what becomes of them during their long goodbyes.    But, if my husband was still around, he could pick out a black dress, or close to it, and some shoes.  I don't have any pink poodle skirts or anything still hanging around, so it shouldn't be too hard!

[Love2dance]

On 10/15/2016 at 0:26 AM, Tabbygirl521 said:

So I am in the PNW also, awaiting the Storm of the Decade or whatever. We have 9 huge Doug firs around the house, so any windstorm tends to freak me out, but this one sounds truly scary. it's being compared to the Columbus Day storm of 1962 and the Hanukkah Eve storm of 2006, both of which I vividly recall. AIEEEE! It is calm right now after a rainy and breezy day, but tomorrow afternoon apparently Armaggedon will be unleashed. **whimper** 

Hoping you, and all the other NW posters, are doing OK. So scary. 

LOOKEYLOO, so sorry for your loss. It is so sad to have to grieve twice for the same loved one. Hugs!!

[lookeyloo]

Thanks everyone for the kind words of sympathy. 

In our neck of the PNW where I am we had no storm. A little rain and a tiny bit of a gentle breeze. 

Got to watch the awful Counting On with the daughter in law.  That was way more fun than the actual show. We have our own snarking going on. 

[Happyfatchick]

I have a little bird in my house today.  I'm all about living at peace with nature, but... I already lived through the chipmunk, and now there's a bird.  I can't catch him and every now and again he zooms at the windows.  I'm afraid he'll hurt himself so I'm leaving him alone for now.  

When we were at the top of Lake Champlain (Chazy, NY?) and camping:  my husband was outside with our little cocker one night just at deep dusk, and a skunk ran from across the way, right behind the dog and under our trailer.  He kept going - but my husband went ?!!!  What fun it would have been to get the STANK off that dog in a camper!!!  Thankfully, the dog isn't all that observant, he never knew a thing.

[zoomama]

we got a little sprinkle of rain this morning....we need it so much here in southern california - drought is killing us. i was so excited to see it when i opened the blinds. i love PNW weather.

[NewDigs]

And in S Florida we are rejoicing over 4 days of no rain! And 88 actually doesn't feel all that hot. Compared to the mid-90s we've been having. Brrr.

A bird in the house!!! I think leaving was a good idea. Yikes.

I've lived in Florida since the early 70s. I still miss fall colors. And that cool zip in the air. 

[Love2dance]

Southern California poster here. Somehow hubby and I are able to bring heat waves wherever we go. We love Fall temperatures and yet we have such a hard time experiencing them. We have managed to visit Seattle, Yellowstone, Santa Fe, and Denver during the times it should be in the 60s to low 70s.  But instead these vacation spots unseasonably turn to the 80s and 90s.

So, this week we left our home during a finally perfect 60's spell to visit our Missouri and Fayetteville family. Guess what...by the second day there, weather changed from beautiful crisp fall temps to 80 degrees. Arrrrrrgh. And now that we are home, the weather is going to climb back into the high 80's. I am thinking somehow we are responsible for global warming.

Anyway, we were in Fayetteville, Duggar country, visiting our University of Arkansas granddaughter, and other Missouri family. No Duggar sightings, but I read on another thread that Jessa was at the big homecoming game with us and 75,000 other CRAZY Razorback fans. Whooo Pig Souie.

[Jynnan tonnix]

6 hours ago, Love2dance said:

Southern California poster here. Somehow hubby and I are able to bring heat waves wherever we go. We love Fall temperatures and yet we have such a hard time experiencing them. We have managed to visit Seattle, Yellowstone, Santa Fe, and Denver during the times it should be in the 60s to low 70s.  But instead these vacation spots unseasonably turn to the 80s and 90s.

So, this week we left our home during a finally perfect 60's spell to visit our Missouri and Fayetteville family. Guess what...by the second day there, weather changed from beautiful crisp fall temps to 80 degrees. Arrrrrrgh. And now that we are home, the weather is going to climb back into the high 80's. I am thinking somehow we are responsible for global warming.

Anyway, we were in Fayetteville, Duggar country, visiting our University of Arkansas granddaughter, and other Missouri family. No Duggar sightings, but I read on another thread that Jessa was at the big homecoming game with us and 75,000 other CRAZY Razorback fans. Whooo Pig Souie.

I'm visiting my husband, who is working in Virginia at the moment, and while even Connecticut (where home is) is experiencing an unseasonably warm couple of days, the forecast here is for 84 today, 86 tomorrow and 81 the day after. I'm leaving here over the weekend, at which point it will only have cooled down to the high 70's. Ugh. At least his apartment has very efficient a/c. That's always a treat.

[Arwen Evenstar]

Yep...same thing in Houston! We had lovely days in the lower 80s and low humidity and a delicious, cool breeze...then, back into upper 80s, near 90, and soupy sticky air...

This weekend, we are promised low 50s in the am and low to mid 70s. My menopausal heart flutters! 

[crazycatlady58]

22 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Yep...same thing in Houston! We had lovely days in the lower 80s and low humidity and a delicious, cool breeze...then, back into upper 80s, near 90, and soupy sticky air...

This weekend, we are promised low 50s in the am and low to mid 70s. My menopausal heart flutters! 

Yes arwen, I am hoping  our never ending  summer is over.

Edited October 19, 2016 by crazycatlady58
Some days I cannot spell.

[CherryMalotte]

Gawd, I have the fan on now!  I have to admit I like Halloween to be a bit warmer so the kids are freezing in their costumes or all bundled up, but no heat waves please.  I still need to get some decorations up, Halloween is my favorite holiday and even though my time is not my own I still like to put a few things out, I have some lighted skeletons I hang from the mantle that glow all colors, very pretty when the  living room lights are turned off.

Trying to cheer myself up - my mother's Medicaid was turned down the second time.  So there's nothing left to do, stupid State of Illinois.  It didn't matter what we sent, complied with, all the hours I went thru her desk and desk room for bank statements and receipts and I don't know what all, and having my father shove bills and collection notices at me nearly every day.  I can't hire a lawyer to look into this, can't afford it.  Nobody is going to get paid, and what a shame that is.  She can't pay, she's dead.  I probably don't want to know what's going to happen to all the bills, I suspect they'll try and go after my father, but he doesn't have the money.   

I'm so happy for your daughter HFC, and very sorry for your loss lookeyloo - hell, we all need this year to get over with.   

[bigskygirl]

@CherryMalotte is there a state agency or someone else that can help you with getting Medicaid?

And speaking of Medicaid...I spent about forty minutes on the phone this afternoon waiting to talk with someone because they keep turning down my eye doctor visit claim. For some reason, they seem to think I have a Blue Cross/Blue Shield insurance card, and BC/BS is suppose to take care of the claim. Yes BC/BS handles Medicaid claims, but I do not understand the reasoning behind me having a BC/BS insurance card and needing it for a Medicaid claim. I do not need BC/BS insurance information for hospital and other doctor offices for their claims to be handled. It boggles the mind!!! It would be easier to get the money for new glasses instead of putting up with this crap. The person at the Medicaid office could not understand it either. I got a phone number of the Medicaid Provider Relations office, and the eye doctor office will contact them.

[Love2dance]

@CherryMalotte, I'm wondering if you could find a lawyer who would take on this case Pro Bono. I'm not a lawyer, and don't know one, but I watched a lot of Ali McBiel. ? Anyway, I hope it works out, and that you also get a mild, but not hot, Halloween.

[lookeyloo]

Gosh I sorry to hear of the issues some of you have posted. Bureaucracy is the worst sometimes. 

Back from the PNW and a very early flight yesterday am across the country to MIL viewing and funeral. And Mr lookeyloo did not disappoint.  He got the suit right. Picked two of his worst ties and for the viewing did bring the sports coat and passed up his several pairs of nice slacks for a worn out ill fitting pair of khakis that somehow didn't make it past my purge when we moved. I said why didn't you bring one of those nice pairs? And he said "what's wrong with these?"  They are going into the laundry and then to the Goodwill.  He has a fraternal twin brother. They are on good terms but not close. They are very different. Brother lives in Colorado. We don't see him often. But - they both showed up in a charcoal jacket, pink shirt and almost identical paisley tie!  My sister in law and I couldn't believe it! The viewing was uneventful but his mother looked like someone else. Does anyone know if embalming changes a persons features?  There are photos of her a few days before she died and she looked nothing like what she looked like laid out.  It was nice to see all the relatives. It wasn't necessarily a weepfest except for the college age niece who spoke and then got weepy and her voice got higher and higher and she talked faster and faster and then no one knew what she was saying.  Father in law was over it so to speak. He will be 90 in January and there is talk of a party. He probably will resist. Will let pushy sister in law work on that. Anyway we are home and that feels good. 

[Tabbygirl521]

3 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

Gosh I sorry to hear of the issues some of you have posted. Bureaucracy is the worst sometimes. 

Back from the PNW and a very early flight yesterday am across the country to MIL viewing and funeral. And Mr lookeyloo did not disappoint.  He got the suit right. Picked two of his worst ties and for the viewing did bring the sports coat and passed up his several pairs of nice slacks for a worn out ill fitting pair of khakis that somehow didn't make it past my purge when we moved. I said why didn't you bring one of those nice pairs? And he said "what's wrong with these?"  They are going into the laundry and then to the Goodwill.  He has a fraternal twin brother. They are on good terms but not close. They are very different. Brother lives in Colorado. We don't see him often. But - they both showed up in a charcoal jacket, pink shirt and almost identical paisley tie!  My sister in law and I couldn't believe it! The viewing was uneventful but his mother looked like someone else. Does anyone know if embalming changes a persons features?  There are photos of her a few days before she died and she looked nothing like what she looked like laid out.  It was nice to see all the relatives. It wasn't necessarily a weepfest except for the college age niece who spoke and then got weepy and her voice got higher and higher and she talked faster and faster and then no one knew what she was saying.  Father in law was over it so to speak. He will be 90 in January and there is talk of a party. He probably will resist. Will let pushy sister in law work on that. Anyway we are home and that feels good. 

I feel bad laughing when you are describing a funeral but your husband and his clothing choices - I have to giggle. 

I am glad you didn't blow away here in the PNW. Weren't we lucky the storm fizzled out??

On a serious note, I have seen several embalmed people and I never think they look like themselves, either. I don't know if the embalming causes it. I have always thought it had to do with the person's essence being gone. i also saw an aunt when she was on life support with no hope of recovery, and she also didn't look like herself. She was elderly and had not been ill, so up until the brain accident that put her in the hospital, she had looked great. So... I just don't know. 

[kathe5133]

Re; embalming and looks.....  A truly gifted embalmer can do miracles with a current picture.  Some embalmers don't really care, some take great pride in their work. 

I'm from an Irish family.  Irish Catholic.  Growing up in the 60's I was taught the protocol of wakes and funerals.  Went to my "first wake", which was thoughtfully chosen by my parents with input from both living Grandmothers.  I was 11 years old.  The deceased was an elderly cousin who was over 90 years old.  Husband and children had predeceased her.  It was thought that since no one would be weeping and wailing it would be a more positive experience.  My Father explained what I would see, what I should do (sorry for your loss...).  Doesn't it sound morbid?  But, as an adult I've had to go to funerals.  Friends and colleagues either choose not to go, or go, filled with dread, not knowing what to say.  I learned the protocols at a young age and although I never welcome the thought of going to a wake or funeral, I know where to stand, what to say, and how to behave so there is never any social anxiety. 

These days most don't school their young in how to conduct themselves at funerals.  Everyone dies and the preparations immediately following that death are part of the grieving process and are very important.

Well it took a bit to get here, but a lot of time when planning a wake folks don't know that they should bring photos of the deceased.  Recent photos that show what the person looked like.  Also, if you are not happy with the embalmers results, you can ask for touch ups.  When my Grandmother died my mother felt her mouth didn't look right.  My grandmother always wore red lipstick but blotted it until it was almost off.  How is an undertaker to know that?  He took the lipstick and put it on like any woman would wear lipstick.  My Grandmother would not have been pleased!   We explained, he complied, and my Mother felt that her Mother looked "right"........

I think the way I was raised is better.  There is always stress when facing an unknown situation.  Why compound the grief with the stress of seeing a "dead body" for the first time, not knowing what to say, where to stand, how long it lasts, etc. 

It's a part of life, unfortunately.  Ok, rant over. 

[lookeyloo]

I am Jewish so the family funerals I've attended had no viewing at all, and very quick burials.  I have only gone to one other viewing in my lifetime.  I'm sure people have died but I haven't been around, or they died someplace else.  MIL nose was totally different than her alive nose.  I didn't have to do with the makeup near as Mr. lookeyloo could tell.  And they put her hair in a topknot.  She never wore her hair that way - ever.  There were plenty of pictures at the funeral home plus a slide show (that interestingly I wasn't in, nor was one of the brothers in law)  But, the FIL seemed pleased since he has been planning it for a couple of years, and he got some comfort and peace from it, so we were all happy about that.  It was sad, but, she was really lost to us a couple of years ago.

[emma675]

HFC, I had a bird fly into the house last Christmas. He thought the wreath on the front door looked like a good nesting spot, I opened the door, and in he flew. He tried to set up camp in the Christmas tree, but I managed to shoo him out with a broom and leaving the front door where he came in open. It actually happened twice!

I'm in Dallas and it's been in the freaking 90's for days now. It's late October, it should be in the upper 70's! I'm headed to Connecticut this week so I'm praying for cold.

[Happyfatchick]

We've had a week straight of 80's, and I'm in HEAVEN.  If our summers were 80's, I would be so happy!!

I'm still catching up from being gone so long and haven't been able to get outside and clean out my flower garden out - where my lantana decided there was way too much empty space and filled it all up.  It's not "vining" along the ground, it just has some incredibly long arms that crept along and are laying flat, and it bushes upward from the middle. And my green bushes (boxwood and holly - erg!) have 2-3 feet of new growth that I need to cut back.  Sorry, that's one of those things I stew over when I'm busy.  (Like when you go to work with dirty dishes in the sink and your mind stays in that stupid kitchen all day long, ashamed.)  I'm going to have to be out there for at least 2 full days next week or trick-or-treaters will be convinced the Addams family lives here.  It's pretty creepy.

It feels sad that a divorce is such a landmark and happy occasion for our family - but there you go.  When they first separated, it was so incredibly raw and painful for her; she's been so dedicated to her marriage and her family, and so determined to ride out life with that crazy man.  We all walked on eggshells for a long time, terrified we'd wake up one morning to find her gone back.  She's a smart girl when you peel the brainwash back.  Very smart.  She graduated cum laude WITH 4 children and a crazy husband.  She squinched her eyes shut with his insane ideas and went along to keep the peace.  And defended him.  Determined and loyal.  Since they've been separated, she stays glued to the internet any time she has a spare minute, and has made the declaration (on her own) that he's a narcissist.  NO!!!!!!!  Are you serious?????  The best part is that I have my daughter back.  The blinders are off, the layers are peeling back and every single day I can feel/hear her edging toward the hate mark with him.  (It really is a thin line).  I told my DIL the other day that I want to send the ex a thank you card - every interaction they have is disastrous because he is what he is, and now she can see it.  This is my real daughter.  The one that can reason and listen, and who can make real plans and accomplish things.  After 17 years of willingly being led around by the nose, she's back. The kid who came to me in high school and said "I'm doing dual enrollment at the community college.  Sign here and here, and I need a check for _____$."  While she in Nicaragua, we argued every time we spoke.  Not horrible awful sniping, but we didn't agree about anything.  It's so NICE to have a normal, thinking daughter back.  She's started counseling and the kids go next week.  I told her yesterday that eventually, he's going to "see the light" and try to fix things.  He's had such an unhealthy hold on her all these years, he must realize it's just under the surface.  And one day, he WILL talk to Jesus and come back a "new" man.  So I asked her yesterday, what are you going to do when that happens?  She said "I won't believe it.  He'd just be doing it to manipulate me and I'm DONE with that".  And just like THAT, I moved from fearing the worst to "cautiously optimistic".  She told me that he asked her to repeat her demands the other day.  1) give up the other woman, 2) get a job and support your family and 3) go to therapy.  He said, "I'll do all 3 of those things right now, if you'll give up your family and agree to never see them again".  I asked if she considered it, or even considered calling his bluff.  She laughed and said, "mom, he's a NARCISSIST!!!  If I separate myself from anyone who holds him accountable, he could do ANYTHING to me!!!  Besides, in Narcissism 101, separating you from your family is the first thing...". 

So...whooooooosh... big sigh of relief.  We're getting there.  Still got my fingers crossed, but it seems to be going well.  YAY!

[lookeyloo]

@Happyfatchick - best news of the day!!!!  We too are enjoying the nice warm weather, er, drought.  Put in a new backyard and have to water every other day.  Luckily it is very small.  

[Love2dance]

@Happyfatchick, so very happy and relieved for you, your daughter, and the grands!! I love that he showed his true self demanding that she give up her family. Makes it much easier for her. (My aha moment was in counseling when my ex said "life is a contest and my aim is to win." The counselor asked if that means your wife and others have to lose? And the ex said "YES!!" Made it easy for me, just like SIL is doing for your daughter. Enjoy having your daughter back. 

[Natalie68]

I read this section but don't post much but I had a weird experience I have to share with someone other than my sisters/husband.  First, my condolences to Lookeyloo, happy divorce dance to HAPPYFATCHICK, CHERRYMALOTTE those collection people can go pound sand, and well wishes to all with health challenges.  If I missed someone I am terribly sorry my mind is flustered.

My mom died in 2005 (in 11 days it will be 11 years) and my dad in 2015 (his bday was 10 days ago).  I have a lot of their old belongings (antiques etc) and a glass front lockable bookcase in my bedroom (ancient, belonged to her great aunt).  In that I have things from my childhood such as a music box I got when I think I turned 12 (haven't listened to it in well over 30 years, never wind it, didn't remember the song).  

At 7am today I hear music and think what the hell is the ice cream man doing outside this early and open my eyes.  Its coming from the bedroom and specifically the bookcase.  I get up to go over to it and it goes off.  Hmmm.  Then I remember a dream I had last night right after I fell asleep (between 11 and 12).  I saw my mom and she was alive but a bit heavier and had longer hair.  She didn't have a home (we just sold it in August), had nothing and nowhere to go (was lost).  I looked at her and said mom, you have to come live with us, we have lots of room.  Then I woke up and went to the restroom and then back to sleep.  Then this morning the music box.  I wait for my husband to get up and say I have loads to tell you and he asks was it about the music (!)?  He tells me he heard it.  So I am getting ready for work and he gets the music box out.  He has to wind the heck out of it and the music starts.  It is Close to You by the Carpenters.  Her favorite song.  I had no memory of what that thing played.  I sent a note to a friend who is a semi known psychic and she tells me its a good omen and right now the veil is thinner so its a good time for things to happen.  I am a skeptical believer (have had a lot of experiences through all of my life though) but I think my mom stopped by to say hello.  It was nice.

And NO I am not crazy!  Well not in a seeing things that aren't there kinda way.  

Edited October 22, 2016 by Natalie68

[Love2dance]

1 hour ago, Natalie68 said:

I read this section but don't post much but I had a weird experience I have to share with someone other than my sisters/husband.  First, my condolences to Lookeyloo, happy divorce dance to HAPPYFATCHICK, CHERRYMALOTTE those collection people can go pound sand, and well wishes to all with health challenges.  If I missed someone I am terribly sorry my mind is flustered.

My mom died in 2005 (in 11 days it will be 11 years) and my dad in 2015 (his bday was 10 days ago).  I have a lot of their old belongings (antiques etc) and a glass front lockable bookcase in my bedroom (ancient, belonged to her great aunt).  In that I have things from my childhood such as a music box I got when I think I turned 12 (haven't listened to it in well over 30 years, never wind it, didn't remember the song).  

At 7am today I hear music and think what the hell is the ice cream man doing outside this early and open my eyes.  Its coming from the bedroom and specifically the bookcase.  I get up to go over to it and it goes off.  Hmmm.  Then I remember a dream I had last night right after I fell asleep (between 11 and 12).  I saw my mom and she was alive but a bit heavier and had longer hair.  She didn't have a home (we just sold it in August), had nothing and nowhere to go (was lost).  I looked at her and said mom, you have to come live with us, we have lots of room.  Then I woke up and went to the restroom and then back to sleep.  Then this morning the music box.  I wait for my husband to get up and say I have loads to tell you and he asks was it about the music (!)?  He tells me he heard it.  So I am getting ready for work and he gets the music box out.  He has to wind the heck out of it and the music starts.  It is Close to You by the Carpenters.  Her favorite song.  I had no memory of what that thing played.  I sent a note to a friend who is a semi known psychic and she tells me its a good omen and right now the veil is thinner so its a good time for things to happen.  I am a skeptical believer (have had a lot of experiences through all of my life though) but I think my mom stopped by to say hello.  It was nice.

And NO I am not crazy!  Well not in a seeing things that aren't there kinda way.  

What a wonderful, hopeful story. Thanks for sharing. I love hearing about experiences like this.....makes a tiny part of me believe.

[lookeyloo]

@Natalie68 you are not crazy!  My baby brother killed himself 12 years ago last week. Shortly after I was in Sam's when it first opened in the am. I was standing there trying not to cry and all of a sudden I felt a cold breeze on my face and a strong smell of the cologne he wore. I looked around and there was no one near me. Then a few months later Mr lookeyloo was in the hallway of our house and he said "do you smell that? It's Barry". Only he smelled it. It happened to him again a few weeks later. I like to think the pennies I find are from him. There are things we don't understand or can explain.  I like to think your mom was connecting. 

[Natalie68]

Just now, Love2dance said:

What a wonderful, hopeful story. Thanks for sharing. I love hearing about experiences like this.....makes a tiny part of me believe.

Thank you!  I have been a bit flustered all day.  It is the first time in 11 years I have had a 'mom' moment.  I have felt my dad several times but not her.  She hadn't lived in her house for a long time before she died since she was in a nursing home so if its real, I could see her feeling lost (she also had dementia which is why she may have come across in my dream as lost as well).  Especially if she went 'home' and saw the new owners.  

When cleaning out the house my oldest sister, the skeptic (me, my mom, and my middle sister always had experiences), had many experiences while alone in the house.  Heard a lot of unexplained noises (we both did one night) and had some talking come over her headphones while trying to sleep (we spent the night at the house), and saw weird flashes of lights.  But I have always heard that when you dream about someone who has passed they are visiting you.  The music box was her way of saying its really me.  At least I hope.

I forgot to mention my cats reaction.  They don't sleep in our bedroom and when I opened the door two were trying to get in the room.  This is odd for them since they never come to the door early in the morning when the alarm doesn't go off.  When we replayed the music they both came to the bedroom with crazy eyes on.  Its just music guys, what is so freaky?  Well invisible grandma might have still been hanging around!

 

*my sister sleeps with white noise on and she switched from white to brown to white and there was what sounded like a party going on regardless of channel.  Our old house is in a rural area and gets NO cell reception so we aren't sure what was up but it freaked her out and she didn't tell me about it until I was home.  

[Natalie68]

9 minutes ago, lookeyloo said:

@Natalie68 you are not crazy!  My baby brother killed himself 12 years ago last week. Shortly after I was in Sam's when it first opened in the am. I was standing there trying not to cry and all of a sudden I felt a cold breeze on my face and a strong smell of the cologne he wore. I looked around and there was no one near me. Then a few months later Mr lookeyloo was in the hallway of our house and he said "do you smell that? It's Barry". Only he smelled it. It happened to him again a few weeks later. I like to think the pennies I find are from him. There are things we don't understand or can explain.  I like to think your mom was connecting. 

Thank you!  I have been a bit teary all day.  

That is a cool experience with your brother!  I am so sorry about his suicide.  I am not sure how you ever get past that.  The cologne thing is cool. It is also nice he is checking in from time to time.  I told my husband that I wonder if I invited my mom to move in with us permanently in my dream.  If so we are going to need some ground rules!  

[Lisa418722]

I love these experiences and I do believe in them.  My dad died in 2011 and he was buried on a Wednesday, then on Friday my mom had to put the family dog to sleep.  I have never felt my dad (my mom has though), but I have heard the dog "shaking" with her collar rattling a couple of times.  I haven't heard that in a long time, but reading these made me remember that time wistfully.   I had asked my dad to do something when he got to heaven and so far it hasn't happened.  Maybe one day I'll have an experience where I feel like he is checking in on me.  

[Barb23]

I love hearing these types of stories & enjoyed them when we shared a while back. I'll share mine again. My father-in-law died many years ago on December 13.  My MIL had already decorated for Christmas that year  & many of her decorations involve music boxes.  The music boxes would start playing by themselves at various times during the holiday season, after he was gone.  We like to think it was my father-in-law's way of telling us he was OK & things would be OK. As far as I know, that first Christmas without him was the only time it's happened.

Would the poster that shared their story about packing things up when moving from Hawaii repeat their story again? I think it had to do with coins & Pearl Harbor.  I found it fascinating at the time but can't remember any of the details.

[Natalie68]

3 minutes ago, Barb23 said:

I love hearing these types of stories & enjoyed them when we shared a while back. I'll share mine again. My father-in-law died many years ago on December 13.  My MIL had already decorated for Christmas that year  & many of her decorations involve music boxes.  The music boxes would start playing by themselves at various times during the holiday season, after he was gone.  We like to think it was my father-in-law's way of telling us he was OK & things would be OK. As far as I know, that first Christmas without him was the only time it's happened.

Would the poster that shared their story about packing things up when moving from Hawaii repeat their story again? I think it had to do with coins & Pearl Harbor.  I found it fascinating at the time but can't remember any of the details.

CRAZY cool!  I think this stuff happens all the time but we get so busy and distracted we don't see/hear/feel it.  

Living across the street from a giant Catholic cemetery (beautiful by the way) I think we get people passing through occasionally.  I have seen someone out of the corner of my eye thinking its my husband and when I turn to ask why he is lurking no one is there.  I also occasionally feel like someone is behind me as I am walking to my bedroom in the middle of the night.  I am scared to turn around because I think I will see someone.  Doesn't happen every night or even every month.  I have heard voices a time or two and my cats appear to be staring at things sometimes.  That could be a bug.  You know how they are :).

[Love2dance]

I'm thinking I maybe should buy a music box. ?

[magpye29]

So I've been living alone since my husband left me nearly a year ago, and I've had a lot of activity in the house.  A lot of it happens in the kitchen.  I was standing in the kitchen when an orange fell off the counter, rolled toward me, and stopped at my feet.  There was no reason for the orange to even move.  A couple of days later I'm standing near the sink when a pot lid falls off the counter and lands on the floor next to me.  It had been on the counter handle side down but landed handle side up.  A couple of days ago, the tie I wear when ushering moved of its own accord, kind of slithering off the brush it was draped over but at the same time arching upward.  It's hard to describe.  The thing is, nothing was going on to make it happen, it just moved.  When that happened, I said out loud, "okay, you've got my attention.  What are you trying to tell me?"  I haven't gotten an answer, but I'm listening.

[frenchtoast]

I haven't had any experiences but hubby has. And, I just have to mention, I was watching Ghostbusters (with the fabulous ladies) when I started reading this yesterday. It was a little unnerving.

I also have to say, and this is probably admitting something a little too personal but who cares, hubby's name is the exact same as what Priscilla and David named their new son. Except his first name is spelled with one -L and not two. But he's Jewish, so it's not like his middle name was after the saint. But it's just weird seeing the talk about it and I'm all....whoa that's a bizarre coincidence.