Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[Love2dance]

MAGPYE29 and BRIAN62, nothing new to add from my previous posts. Just letting you know I'm thinking about you, sending more support, and hugs, and hoping things will improve.

[Micks Picks]

Magpie, I can't tell you how badly I feel for you.  I was so shocked when an oder brother divorced his wife of over 30 years.  He was barely 20 when he married but had a good marriage, 3 kids, a very successful career, and then one day, BOOM.  Stunning.  I have since known several others in very long marriages who divorce after 25-35 years.  In all cases, one of them didn't know until it was happening.  No discussion beforehand.  No getting there gradually as one would expect.  It took my SIL, I'll never consider her an ex) years to get over it.  But you get the hell of having a brand new job to deal with when you should be at an attorney's and the bank and insurance companies, pronto.  The best to you.  Get a nasty attorney; the job may have to wait.

Edited December 10, 2015 by Micks Picks

[BrianJ62]

My heart goes out to you, your sister and brother in law, Brain. And the syndrome will continue, the heart, heart failure, lungs, fluid retention around the lungs, everything. And the poor guy doesn't even know what the heck is going on and can't judge what he wants and what he doesn't. You and your sister, do take care of yourselves, get rest. May the Force be with you.

This last episode made my sister realize that he won't be able to go straight home, that he will have to go to a rehab place for a while.

May The Schwartz be with you.

Edited December 10, 2015 by BrianJ62

[crazycatlady58]

Thank you for all the hugs, support, and prayers. I have to say, if Smuggs has made Anna feel one-tenth of the pain I'm feeling right now, he deserves to roast in hell, and I have a new-found sympathy for what she's going through.

Also, why do people always feel like they need to dump you right before Christmas? Is it just a way to twist the knife a little harder and make the hurt deeper? If so, it's really working here.

My thoughts are with you.wishing you peace, and by the way, YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS!!.

Can someone please tell me how to put the quote in a box.

[MargeGunderson]

Thank you for all the hugs, support, and prayers. I have to say, if Smuggs has made Anna feel one-tenth of the pain I'm feeling right now, he deserves to roast in hell, and I have a new-found sympathy for what she's going through.

Also, why do people always feel like they need to dump you right before Christmas? Is it just a way to twist the knife a little harder and make the hurt deeper? If so, it's really working here.

My thoughts are with you.wishing you peace, and by the way, YOU DO NOT DESERVE THIS!!.

Can someone please tell me how to put the quote in a box.

 

You're just missing a closed quote bracket (maybe you accidentally deleted it). I bolded it above.

You're just missing a closed quote bracket (maybe you accidentally deleted it). I bolded it above.

 

And then it went away!. Here's the end of the quote to show the missing bracket:  If so, it's really working here.[/quote - it should be 

[crazycatlady58]

Thanks , this has been my first experience at posting so I am still learning.

[lookeyloo]

Magpye and Brian - I am reading along and wish things were different. But I'm thinking about you and sending cyber hugs

[Happyfatchick]

I'm going to lighten the mood with a funny story.

When daddy died, we rented our house out and moved into Mama's basement, as she was no longer able to care for herself. She was plenty mobile and still "trying" to defuse her brain. Didn't cook, couldn't sort her meds, etc. I hated basement life (almost lost my MIND!). We ended up purchasing a different home very close to my children, mother and brother (who all live on the same road). Moved mama in with me, but went back to the home place every single day. Many days we spent the whole day at her home. (Trying to make her comfortable while maintaining my own space). I should mention here that in those days of paranoia, she often hid things, and was always sure someone was going to come in and get her things when she was asleep.

One morning at breakfast, she came in without her teeth. I went to get them, but they weren't in the little cleaner/holder thingy.

"mama, where are your teeth?"

I dunno.

"When did you move them?"

I dunno.

"Did you put them in during the night, and take them back out?"

I dunno.

The search that ensued was similar to an FBI shake down, and lasted TWO WEEKS. I looked in her pockets, under the bed, took the sheets off. Nflipped the mattress. Tossed the drawers. Searched her purse. My SIL came over and did it all again, right behind me. Every day, we looked for those teeth. Teeth were GONE. Knowing full well I had taken her teeth out at my house, we nevertheless did the shakedown at HER house as well. No idea. WHERE DID THE TEETH GO??

We looked for TWO WEEKS, no joke. I ended up doing the FBI toss through my whole house. [Which is a whole nuther story...Mama following behind me lifting couch cushions, digging through "THE DRAWER" in the kitchen...asking me every 30 seconds "what are we looking for?"]

Finally I called the dentist and asked them to replicate the original set. They said no, they didn't keep molds, we'd have to start over. I made an appointment. Unbelievable. Who loses their TEETH???

After I gave up, but before the appointment date, she comes walking into the kitchen one morning with her teeth in her mouth.

"MAMA!!! You found your teeth!!! Where were they???"

Blank stare.

I dunno. I didn't know they was missing.

[bigskygirl]

Goody! Goody! Goody! And did I say Goody! Looks like I jaw problems to the point of needing to see a dentist to be fitted for a mouth piece and to top it all off, it looks like I have Acid Reflux. The best part is the doctor told me to give up chocolate. My one thing I eat to keep me from losing my mind and keep my sanity, and I should not be eating it. Seriously, I do not smoke, drink, eat big hearty meals on a daily basis, but I have to give up one "fix." I also have to cross my fingers Medicaid will accept my application so I can find a dentist. Maybe I can go to the husband of my eye doctor (keep it in the family so to speak.) She also is hypothyroid and wears a mouth piece at night while she sleeps. I know I should not be complaining, and a lot of you or your family members are having to deal with a lot worse medical problems, but I am not a happy camper right now. So far, I have been diagnosed with Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Deconditioning, low Vitamin D level, Acid Reflux and possible jaw alignment or TMJ problems, borderline allergic to dust mites, allergic to grass, hypothyroid with a small non-functioning thyroid. Maybe I should ask my physician assistant for a Psych consult.

[Love2dance]

Goody! Goody! Goody! And did I say Goody! Looks like I jaw problems to the point of needing to see a dentist to be fitted for a mouth piece and to top it all off, it looks like I have Acid Reflux. The best part is the doctor told me to give up chocolate. My one thing I eat to keep me from losing my mind and keep my sanity, and I should not be eating it. Seriously, I do not smoke, drink, eat big hearty meals on a daily basis, but I have to give up one "fix." I also have to cross my fingers Medicaid will accept my application so I can find a dentist. Maybe I can go to the husband of my eye doctor (keep it in the family so to speak.) She also is hypothyroid and wears a mouth piece at night while she sleeps. I know I should not be complaining, and a lot of you or your family members are having to deal with a lot worse medical problems, but I am not a happy camper right now. So far, I have been diagnosed with Severe Obstructive Sleep Apnea, Deconditioning, low Vitamin D level, Acid Reflux and possible jaw alignment or TMJ problems, borderline allergic to dust mites, allergic to grass, hypothyroid with a small non-functioning thyroid. Maybe I should ask my physician assistant for a Psych consult.

Give up chocolate? That sounds like a non- negotiable to me. I would certainly want a second opinion on that one. What would happen if you didn't give it up? Hopefully some of these answers you finally have will lead to solutions that make you feel better. Hugs to you.

Edited December 10, 2015 by Love2dance

[bigskygirl]

The chocolate probably does not help with the Acid Reflex. I do not eat a big amount of chocolate (only a couple of pieces on a daily basis.) I had a lovely test where the doctor sprayed something in my nose and then he put a scope down my throat to take a look. He said my throat looked red. He does not think the radiation treatment or the hyper/hypothyroid is causing the jaw pain or earaches. If I could, I would drive to Great Falls and tell the one doctor what I think of him. He told me my health would improve and I would have good quality of life. Really... Seriously! My health has been going downhill since I had the treatment. The problems I could have or would have with the hyperthyroidism are now showing up. Thank you Dr. Nitwit NOT!!! Yes, the treatment took, and I know now it was the best I do not have a functioning thyroid, but I am still not happy with him. I wish I could have waited for the new specialist to come to Helena so I would have had a doctor who knew what he is doing, has a great bedside manner, and wants to help me get better. Sorry for the rant. My mood is being matched by the cold and snow outside. I cannot wait for the year to get over.  {{{HUGS}}} for everyone

[Mrs. P.]

Give up chocolate? That sounds like a non- negotiable to me. I would certainly want a second opinion on that one. What would happen if you didn't give it up? Hopefully some of these answers you finally have will lead to solutions that make you feel better. Hugs to you.

Chocolate is always the first thing that has to be given up after an Acid Reflux diagnosis. My husband struggles with this ban every day.

[Love2dance]

BIGSKYGIRL and MRS.P, I actually have acid reflux (diagnosed hiatal hernia) and chocolate was on a list of foods to avoid or eat in moderation. But a daily Prevacid does allow me to eat chocolate within reason. I know we are all different, and I am certainly NOT a doctor, but I would sure ask if once your throat settles down, an occasional chocolate treat would be ok. I can't imagine life without chocolate.

[magpye29]

Well, I cried and cried some more last night, then my husband came home from wherever he'd been (which was not at work, as I'd called his work number and they said he'd taken the day off).  He's all happy and humming and whatever.  I asked him if he had called the counselor as he'd said he would, and he said he'd decided not to because he couldn't figure out what I hoped to achieve by going to a counselor now.  Then he asked what I hoped to achieve.  I had no words.  I just said that the fact that he hadn't called after he'd said he would told me everything I need to know.  That got him upset.  Then he said he had some things to do and asked if it was okay if he took the car.  I asked if it would matter if it wasn't okay, and he snapped back that that was why he was asking.  I really believe he's trying to provoke me into a tantrum or burst of anger.  this is a guy who keeps copious notes about everything in his own personal shorthand in a series of notebooks, so I know if I get mad (as he's predicted I will), he'll try to use it against me to bolster his argument that I'm mentally ill.

 

So I went to the front office this morning, and the asst. principal called me into his office to tell me to get a good lawyer and not to let him snow me into a no-fault.  He also said he knew several excellent counselors he could recommend if I felt like talking to someone would help (and I will, but not just yet).  The principal told the person in charge of the after-school day care program to ask if I'd like to put in two or three hours there after school every day, so they'll let me know when they want me to start that.  My daughter went to this school 18 years ago, and I was pretty active then with volunteering and stuff, but I've only been back this week (except for a craft fair a month ago when I mentioned to the principal that I was interested in subbing), and I feel so cared for.  It's so weird to me that my husband and daughter (the two people in the world who are consistently less than kind to me) think I'm the angriest person in the world, but everywhere else I go, people say, "Oh, she's so nice."

 

And then I can't figure out why, if he's done with me, he's still living here.  I had planned to sleep on the couch, but it's hard to take it from my 16-year-old dog, so I've been sleeping on the floor.  It's not the most comfortable, but I don't know what else to do because I'm determined to stay in my apartment and have some independence.

 

When I said I deserved this, I meant that I haven't been a very good wife in many respects.  I have totally screwed up our credit and finances--our credit score is so low we have to take the stairs down to it.  We don't own anything except our car.  When my feelings are hurt, I go to a thrift shop or Goodwill and spend money on stuff I don't need, like more necklaces to take apart to make earrings with or more clothes when I have more than I can reasonably fit in one small closet, two bureaus, and a shelf unit.  And I've behaved  very badly when my feelings are hurt because I was hurting and I wanted them to hurt too or acknowledge that they hurt me, neither of which happened very often.  Also, I have hoarding tendencies.  When I left Georgia to move back here, I was kind of shocked to realize what a mess my house there had actually been, because I'd kind of gone blind to it.  Since my daughter and her boyfriend moved out, the spare room has become overrun with boxes I need to unpack and junk I haven't dealt with, all of which makes my husband furious.  So I've definitely dug this hole, but I hate that I'm in it.  I just wish he had waited till after Christmas, because I would have liked one last holiday as a family.

[bigskygirl]

The doctor did put me on a med to help with the Acid Reflex, but I will not pick it up until next week since the roads are a little icy from the snow. I have a follow up visit with him next month. Like I said, I only have a couple of pieces of chocolate and a small amount of caffeine on a daily basis. I cut back on the caffeine around the time I was showing signs of sleep apnea. It also hurts to chew or swallow because of the jaw pain and earaches. It drives me bonkers that all of these medical problems started getting worse after the radiation treatment. I know the radiation treatment may not have cause all the problems, but I still cannot shake the feeling the out of town doctor made mistakes after the treatment. He kept telling me my thyroid blood tests were showing borderline hyperthyroidism, but they were showing full blown hyperthyroidism. I am just a little angry and frustrated right now.

[Love2dance]

 So I went to the front office this morning, and the asst. principal called me into his office to tell me to get a good lawyer and not to let him snow me into a no-fault.  He also said he knew several excellent counselors he could recommend if I felt like talking to someone would help (and I will, but not just yet).  .

MAGPYE, I really hope you will go to a recommended counselor as soon as you are able. That helped me so much when I was in a position similar to yours. You need all the support you can get, and a good counselor can be the best kind of support.

[GeeGolly]

The doctor did put me on a med to help with the Acid Reflex, but I will not pick it up until next week since the roads are a little icy from the snow. I have a follow up visit with him next month. Like I said, I only have a couple of pieces of chocolate and a small amount of caffeine on a daily basis. I cut back on the caffeine around the time I was showing signs of sleep apnea. It also hurts to chew or swallow because of the jaw pain and earaches. It drives me bonkers that all of these medical problems started getting worse after the radiation treatment. I know the radiation treatment may not have cause all the problems, but I still cannot shake the feeling the out of town doctor made mistakes after the treatment. He kept telling me my thyroid blood tests were showing borderline hyperthyroidism, but they were showing full blown hyperthyroidism. I am just a little angry and frustrated right now.

Well besides the chocolate, I hope the new med and mouth guard help you to feel better.

[barbedwire]

Magpye - hugs!  I am so glad there are people out there saying kind words to you.  You know what you need to work on and good for you.  I agree that if you can go to the counselor soon rather than later, that would be better.  Hope you can sleep somewhere besides the floor!

[Jellybeans]

Well, I had a busy day today.  I went to work as a substitute teacher's aide yesterday, and today they offered me a full-time job (this is the Catholic school where my daughter attended first and half of second grade, so they knew me from bout 17 years ago).  Then I came home and my husband told me he's ending our marriage after 29 years.  He had already told his relatives and our daughter, and he told our son tonight.  Right now  I feel devastated, because while I fully deserve this, I didn't see it coming.  I hate myself.  I'm not suicidal, but this is the first time in my life I've ever thought anything was worse than being dead.  Please pray for us.  I've been crying for hours, and I don't know how I'm going to get through my work day tomorrow.

I just saw this and umm, a couple of things. I know you are in shock BUT no one "deserves" a divorce they did not see coming (It happened to me too) and secondly, the fact he told everyone before YOU tells me enough about him. You will be okay down the road. The best advice I heard was "don't give him rent space in your head." And no need to hate yourself honey... it happens to many of us.

I am very sorry. But one day you will find you are much happier for some reason. :-)

[lookeyloo]

Magpye please do the counseling asap. I managed to stop crying long enough to make an appointment - and then used so many tissues I thought she would add a fee on for that. Anyway it helped me learn a lot about myself and be able to have a pretty good life.

[magpye29]

Okay, so here's my invitation for you to laugh at me tonight, because I completely made an ass of myself.  I was supposed to go to a callback audition for a play tonight, but I haven't thought I had much of a chance of being cast (for various reasons).  I had more or less decided that I wouldn't audition, but I didn't want to come home because my husband was making dinner for our daughter and her boyfriend.  

 

I do not know what came over me, but when I saw my friend and the director, I smiled really big and said, "Guess what I'm getting for Christmas?"  My friend guesses my own theatre, and I said, nope, a divorce.  Then I went into the theatre and saw my other friend and said the same thing.  She started asking me what had happened, etc. and I was telling her, and the director said, "Would you mind saving this for later? I want your friend to read for me, and she needs to be looking at the script.  We need some quiet in here."  (No, the auditions hadn't started yet.)  My friend and I whispered a little bit more, then the director got on stage to open the auditions, so I said goodbye to my other friend (who told me he's been divorced twice--i only knew about the second one) and slunk out of there, just mortified to the soles of my feet.

 

But the good news is, I was able to talk about it without crying, and even though some of the folks there must have thought I was nuts, it might be a good sign that I can joke about it.  But you know when you're watching a movie and a character is just making a complete fool of herself and you're cringing on her behalf?  I was cringing on my own behalf.  Now I've got that sick feeling in my stomach from doing something stupid and not being able to let it go.  Gah.

[Tabbygirl521]

Okay, so here's my invitation for you to laugh at me tonight, because I completely made an ass of myself. I was supposed to go to a callback audition for a play tonight, but I haven't thought I had much of a chance of being cast (for various reasons). I had more or less decided that I wouldn't audition, but I didn't want to come home because my husband was making dinner for our daughter and her boyfriend.

I do not know what came over me, but when I saw my friend and the director, I smiled really big and said, "Guess what I'm getting for Christmas?" My friend guesses my own theatre, and I said, nope, a divorce. Then I went into the theatre and saw my other friend and said the same thing. She started asking me what had happened, etc. and I was telling her, and the director said, "Would you mind saving this for later? I want your friend to read for me, and she needs to be looking at the script. We need some quiet in here." (No, the auditions hadn't started yet.) My friend and I whispered a little bit more, then the director got on stage to open the auditions, so I said goodbye to my other friend (who told me he's been divorced twice--i only knew about the second one) and slunk out of there, just mortified to the soles of my feet.

But the good news is, I was able to talk about it without crying, and even though some of the folks there must have thought I was nuts, it might be a good sign that I can joke about it. But you know when you're watching a movie and a character is just making a complete fool of herself and you're cringing on her behalf? I was cringing on my own behalf. Now I've got that sick feeling in my stomach from doing something stupid and not being able to let it go. Gah.

Never beat yourself up for being human. We all have moments like this, I promise. At least you aren't in jail, like I probably would be after going all Elin Nordgren on his ass. Seriously, I know I would be doing much worse. You are one of us, hon. Edited December 11, 2015 by Tabbygirl521

[Wellfleet]

MAGPYE, I really hope you will go to a recommended counselor as soon as you are able. That helped me so much when I was in a position similar to yours. You need all the support you can get, and a good counselor can be the best kind of support.

 

This sounds like great advice to me, Magpye. You have some issues you need help with - millions of people have the same exact issues. There's no shame in that, or in needing help. And the sooner you start feeling better and stronger about things, the sooner you can get to a better place about your divorce and this major change in your life. Not that it will be quick, or easy. Because it won't. But the sooner you start, the better. Keep your chin up as best you can - and good luck.

[Aja]

So I don't hang in this thread much because the Duggars (and, okay, Zabrena's makeup tutorials on Youtube) devour my internet time-wasting allotment each day. But I wanted to say something to you people. Long and short of it is I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. Truth. I'm coming out of a 2-year train wreck and you'd be AMAZED at how much snarking on the Duggars actually saves lives. Thank you, from the bottom of my encouraged heart.

[Missy Vixen]

Aja, thanks for your postings. I love them.

 

And Magpye, you are entitled to all of your feelings. It's okay to tell people that you're hurting and you need a little extra right now. The people who really care for you will respond because they've been there, too.

[Happyfatchick]

Me too, Aja!

[wilsie]

Add me to those who look forward to and enjoy your posts, Aja!

[zoomama]

OMG!!! grandson is here crying and screaming at 6:30a.m. all becuase i won't help him with his homework any longer. seriously.  its 4th grade math -- i already walked him through a bunch of it. now i am the bad, hateful, don't-love'me noni (thier name for me). Lord, give me strength!!!  its gonna be a longer than usual day...

Edited December 12, 2015 by zoomama

[Tabbygirl521]

OMG!!! grandson is here crying and screaming at 6:30a.m. all becuase i won't help him with his homework any longer. seriously. its 4th grade math -- i already walked him through a bunch of it. now i am the bad, hateful, don't-love'me noni (thier name for me). Lord, give me strength!!! its gonna be a longer than usual day...

May I recommend duct tape? (I kid.)

[Readalot]

Well I just lost my post - so in a nutshell, bigskygirl I'm glad the barium test was easy and the results were good. I had tmj that was corrected by adult braces. My sleep apnea mouth device has caused soreness but not tmj pain. I hardly ever use mine though. I'm so exhausted at the end of the day I forget. I hope your device works for you with no issues. I was allergic to chocolate till puberty and it was horrible. I agree with loves2dance, hopefully you will able to have chocolate in moderation too. Magpie - others have said it better so I ditto them and offer (((hugs))) to you. Brian, I hope today is a better day for your BIL and your family. I hope the weather is good where you are so you can get some fresh air outside of the hospital. - and thanks to this forum and all your input I'm putting the barium swallow test and colonoscopy (it's been 12 years for me so I'm overdue, Nana was diagnosed in early 50's with colon cancer) on my New Years to do list. Make it a good weekend everyone!

[Barbie]

OMG!!! grandson is here crying and screaming at 6:30a.m. all becuase i won't help him with his homework any longer. seriously.  its 4th grade math -- i already walked him through a bunch of it. now i am the bad, hateful, don't-love'me noni (thier name for me). Lord, give me strength!!!  its gonna be a longer than usual day...

I have an idea.... there are youtube videos that explain all kind of math problems and can help with understanding how to do them... 

[Aja]

Thank you all. And every single one of YOUR posts...

…ahem...

*screechy violin*

light up my liiiiiife

they give me hoooooope

to carry oooooon

they light up my daaaaays

And fill my nights with….solemn hymns

Edited December 12, 2015 by Aja

[Happyfatchick]

May I recommend duct tape? (I kid.)

She's not kidding.

And Aja, that conjured up the images of me standing in my living room with the volume UPPPPPP, belting out that song at the top of my lungs (when no one else was home, of course). With my toilet paper holder microphone. I don't do that so much anymore, but I still dance like a crazy woman when the music begs for it and no one's watching!

Google or YouTube Serena Ryder [Circle of the Sun] and prepare to move! Awesome awesome song. Same girl who did Stompa Yo' Feet. One time I put Circle of the Sun on repeat and listened to it for 3 straight days. True story. (And I say my MOM is cray cray!)

[Porkchop]

Aja, I'm mostly a lurker here, but I know just what you mean. Reading these conversations, seeing these people caring about each other and trying to help each other (in the limited ways possible through the internet!) ... does actually help all of us, because it shows that friendship grows wherever you tend to it. But on top of the caring part, the snark is priceless! I'd give anything to convene a gathering in my living room!

 

[MarysWetBar]

My son invited me as his guest to his Xmas party last night. When he asked me, I said "don't you want to take one of your girlfriends instead? " I was confused..lol

He just laughed it off and said I deserved the fancy meal and night out for years of putting up with his shit..and downplayed it.

My son works as an art therapist for a non profit organization that fosters children from infants to teens in a transitional home environment. Some of these kids have had awful experiences that i cannot even bear to think about too long. This son is an artist. .got his degree in fine arts. .listened to everyone tell him it was a useless degree that he could basically wipe his ass with and would never get him anywhere. I kept encouraging him that the paper was transferable. Keep going. Get it. So fast forward to last night, which was quite honestly the nicest xmas party i have ever attended. Held in a ballroom of a hotel, Xmas decor, AMAZING meal. I am sitting there and they are giving out the staff awards and recognitions and they call my son up, and he assumes it is just a standard certificate of thanks, a box of chocolates, yada yada.

Well, the administrator starts telling the story of this twelve year old boy who has been in fifty four foster homes in his short life. ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, rage issues. This was one hurt broken child. Apparently, they asked my son if he would work one to one full-time with this boy back in September and he accepted.

Since then, said boy is now attending school every single day ( with my son), has gotten very interested in Parkour, has become more focused, less angry, and reduced his therapy visits to once per month from six times per month.

He has opened up to the point where he asked if he will be able to"stay" there until he is grown He has stopped running away to look for his mother. (Drug addicted prostitute)

My son was not expecting this honour and i could tell he was shocked at the podium.

Note I'm already sniffling and so proud i could die at that very moment already...but what does my kid say? ??

Paraphrasing :

"I am so honoured to be acknowledged tonight but i have to give the credit to my Mom, sitting there in red. She raised us to always see light in the darkest places and would show us tiny flowers pushing through cracks in cement and weeds on our daily afternoon walks as children. She has never thrown anyone away, and there have been a few she should have, likely. It wasn't until I took this position that I truly understood the sacrifices that great parents make for their children. I was making lunch one day and carefully thought out a healthy balanced meal for Jacob.Spent an hour preparing and making it just right for his tastes. He came in, looked at it, and said..can't I just have a hot dog?

I felt so crushed in that moment but have since flashed back to the many times my working mother rushed in the door and immediately started cooking for me and my brother and how snotty we were at times at her menu choices.

Well now I understand her struggles and also understand the the forgiving grace involved in shaping a child into adulthood. Anything positive i have accomplished with Jacob is due to my Mother's lessons to me. I hope i can share those with many more children that come under my care in the future. "

So, I tell you what. .next to the births of my kids. .that was quite simply the best moment of my life so far. I have sons. You don't hear any of that stuff usually.

It truly made all the struggles i endured raising them go away instantly.

Oh my..I am walking on a cloud today.

Life is so incredibly good.

TLDR: My kid got an award and i cried.

Edited December 13, 2015 by MarysWetBar

[Almost 3000]

I'm crying too! Wonderful story.

[GeeGolly]

My son invited me as his guest to his Xmas party last night. When he asked me, I said "don't you want to take one of your girlfriends instead? " I was confused..lol

He just laughed it off and said I deserved the fancy meal and night out for years of putting up with his shit..and downplayed it.

My son works as an art therapist for a non profit organization that fosters children from infants to teens in a transitional home environment. Some of these kids have had awful experiences that i cannot even bear to think about too long. This son is an artist. .got his degree in fine arts. .listened to everyone tell him it was a useless degree that he could basically wipe his ass with and would never get him anywhere. I kept encouraging him that the paper was transferable. Keep going. Get it. So fast forward to last night, which was quite honestly the nicest xmas party i have ever attended. Held in a ballroom of a hotel, Xmas decor, AMAZING meal. I am sitting there and they are giving out the staff awards and recognitions and they call my son up, and he assumes it is just a standard certificate of thanks, a box of chocolates, yada yada.

Well, the administrator starts telling the story of this twelve year old boy who has been in fifty four foster homes in his short life. ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, rage issues. This was one hurt broken child. Apparently, they asked my son if he would work one to one full-time with this boy back in September and he accepted.

Since then, said boy is now attending school every single day ( with my son), has gotten very interested in Parkour, has become more focused, less angry, and reduced his therapy visits to once per month from six times per month.

He has opened up to the point where he asked if he will be able to"stay" there until he is grown He has stopped running away to look for his mother. (Drug addicted prostitute)

My son was not expecting this honour and i could tell he was shocked at the podium.

Note I'm already sniffling and so proud i could die at that very moment already...but what does my kid say? ??

Paraphrasing :

"I am so honoured to be acknowledged tonight but i have to give the credit to my Mom, sitting there in red. She raised us to always see light in the darkest places and would show us tiny flowers pushing through cracks in cement and weeds on our daily afternoon walks as children. She has never thrown anyone away, and there have been a few she should have, likely. It wasn't until I took this position that I truly understood the sacrifices that great parents make for their children. I was making lunch one day and carefully thought out a healthy balanced meal for Jacob.Spent an hour preparing and making it just right for his tastes. He came in, looked at it, and said..can't I just have a hot dog?

I felt so crushed in that moment but have since flashed back to the many times my working mother rushed in the door and immediately started cooking for me and my brother and how snotty we were at times at her menu choices.

Well now I understand her struggles and also understand the the forgiving grace involved in shaping a child into adulthood. Anything positive i have accomplished with Jacob is due to my Mother's lessons to me. I hope i can share those with many more children that come under my care in the future. "

So, I tell you what. .next to the births of my kids. .that was quite simply the best moment of my life so far. I have sons. You don't hear any of that stuff usually.

It truly made all the struggles i endured raising them go away instantly.

Oh my..I am waking on a cloud today.

Life is so incredibly good.

TLDR: My kid got an award and i cried.

Wow MaryWB. Incredible. I am at a wonderful loss for words. Just wow!!

[wilsie]

 

My son invited me as his guest to his Xmas party last night. When he asked me, I said "don't you want to take one of your girlfriends instead? " I was confused..lol

He just laughed it off and said I deserved the fancy meal and night out for years of putting up with his shit..and downplayed it.

My son works as an art therapist for a non profit organization that fosters children from infants to teens in a transitional home environment. Some of these kids have had awful experiences that i cannot even bear to think about too long. This son is an artist. .got his degree in fine arts. .listened to everyone tell him it was a useless degree that he could basically wipe his ass with and would never get him anywhere. I kept encouraging him that the paper was transferable. Keep going. Get it. So fast forward to last night, which was quite honestly the nicest xmas party i have ever attended. Held in a ballroom of a hotel, Xmas decor, AMAZING meal. I am sitting there and they are giving out the staff awards and recognitions and they call my son up, and he assumes it is just a standard certificate of thanks, a box of chocolates, yada yada.

Well, the administrator starts telling the story of this twelve year old boy who has been in fifty four foster homes in his short life. ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, rage issues. This was one hurt broken child. Apparently, they asked my son if he would work one to one full-time with this boy back in September and he accepted.

Since then, said boy is now attending school every single day ( with my son), has gotten very interested in Parkour, has become more focused, less angry, and reduced his therapy visits to once per month from six times per month.

He has opened up to the point where he asked if he will be able to"stay" there until he is grown He has stopped running away to look for his mother. (Drug addicted prostitute)

My son was not expecting this honour and i could tell he was shocked at the podium.

Note I'm already sniffling and so proud i could die at that very moment already...but what does my kid say? ??

Paraphrasing :

"I am so honoured to be acknowledged tonight but i have to give the credit to my Mom, sitting there in red. She raised us to always see light in the darkest places and would show us tiny flowers pushing through cracks in cement and weeds on our daily afternoon walks as children. She has never thrown anyone away, and there have been a few she should have, likely. It wasn't until I took this position that I truly understood the sacrifices that great parents make for their children. I was making lunch one day and carefully thought out a healthy balanced meal for Jacob.Spent an hour preparing and making it just right for his tastes. He came in, looked at it, and said..can't I just have a hot dog?

I felt so crushed in that moment but have since flashed back to the many times my working mother rushed in the door and immediately started cooking for me and my brother and how snotty we were at times at her menu choices.

Well now I understand her struggles and also understand the the forgiving grace involved in shaping a child into adulthood. Anything positive i have accomplished with Jacob is due to my Mother's lessons to me. I hope i can share those with many more children that come under my care in the future. "

So, I tell you what. .next to the births of my kids. .that was quite simply the best moment of my life so far. I have sons. You don't hear any of that stuff usually.

It truly made all the struggles i endured raising them go away instantly.

Oh my..I am waking on a cloud today.

Life is so incredibly good.

TLDR: My kid got an award and i cried.

 

MarysWetBar, I'm so happy you got to hear this.   You are an amazing mom and it shows in the love and respect your son has for you and by the way he treats the people in his life.

[Readalot]

My son invited me as his guest to his Xmas party last night. When he asked me, I said "don't you want to take one of your girlfriends instead? " I was confused..lol

He just laughed it off and said I deserved the fancy meal and night out for years of putting up with his shit..and downplayed it.

My son works as an art therapist for a non profit organization that fosters children from infants to teens in a transitional home environment. Some of these kids have had awful experiences that i cannot even bear to think about too long. This son is an artist. .got his degree in fine arts. .listened to everyone tell him it was a useless degree that he could basically wipe his ass with and would never get him anywhere. I kept encouraging him that the paper was transferable. Keep going. Get it. So fast forward to last night, which was quite honestly the nicest xmas party i have ever attended. Held in a ballroom of a hotel, Xmas decor, AMAZING meal. I am sitting there and they are giving out the staff awards and recognitions and they call my son up, and he assumes it is just a standard certificate of thanks, a box of chocolates, yada yada.

Well, the administrator starts telling the story of this twelve year old boy who has been in fifty four foster homes in his short life. ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, rage issues. This was one hurt broken child. Apparently, they asked my son if he would work one to one full-time with this boy back in September and he accepted.

Since then, said boy is now attending school every single day ( with my son), has gotten very interested in Parkour, has become more focused, less angry, and reduced his therapy visits to once per month from six times per month.

He has opened up to the point where he asked if he will be able to"stay" there until he is grown He has stopped running away to look for his mother. (Drug addicted prostitute)

My son was not expecting this honour and i could tell he was shocked at the podium.

Note I'm already sniffling and so proud i could die at that very moment already...but what does my kid say? ??

Paraphrasing :

"I am so honoured to be acknowledged tonight but i have to give the credit to my Mom, sitting there in red. She raised us to always see light in the darkest places and would show us tiny flowers pushing through cracks in cement and weeds on our daily afternoon walks as children. She has never thrown anyone away, and there have been a few she should have, likely. It wasn't until I took this position that I truly understood the sacrifices that great parents make for their children. I was making lunch one day and carefully thought out a healthy balanced meal for Jacob.Spent an hour preparing and making it just right for his tastes. He came in, looked at it, and said..can't I just have a hot dog?

I felt so crushed in that moment but have since flashed back to the many times my working mother rushed in the door and immediately started cooking for me and my brother and how snotty we were at times at her menu choices.

Well now I understand her struggles and also understand the the forgiving grace involved in shaping a child into adulthood. Anything positive i have accomplished with Jacob is due to my Mother's lessons to me. I hope i can share those with many more children that come under my care in the future. "

So, I tell you what. .next to the births of my kids. .that was quite simply the best moment of my life so far. I have sons. You don't hear any of that stuff usually.

It truly made all the struggles i endured raising them go away instantly.

Oh my..I am waking on a cloud today.

Life is so incredibly good.

TLDR: My kid got an award and i cried.

. Tears. Thank you for sharing.....what a lovely tribute to you and congrats to your son. I'm grateful for people like him.

Aja....that 45 was my first purchase using my own money. Thanks for the fun flashback.

[Happyfatchick]

What a beautiful, amazing, wonderful story, MWB!!! Thank you so much for sharing. What an amazing child you've raised! Aren't you so PROUD!!! You must be bursting at the seams. How precious was that moment? I'm so happy for you! Rock on, mom!!!

[Love2dance]

MARYSWETBAR, thank you so much for sharing that heartwarming story. And the best part is your son came up with that beautiful tribute off the cuff...not knowing he was going to give a speech. Congratulations on raising such an amazing son!

[emma675]

MarysWetBar, dammit, now I'm crying, too. Seriously, your son sounds like a fine man and you are responsible for the majority of that. Be proud of both of you.

[lookeyloo]

MarysWetBar - that is so beautiful! I know you are so proud of your son! And to acknowledge you publicly like that is just so moving! Nice job both of you!!!!!

[amitville]

My son invited me as his guest to his Xmas party last night. When he asked me, I said "don't you want to take one of your girlfriends instead? " I was confused..lol

He just laughed it off and said I deserved the fancy meal and night out for years of putting up with his shit..and downplayed it.

My son works as an art therapist for a non profit organization that fosters children from infants to teens in a transitional home environment. Some of these kids have had awful experiences that i cannot even bear to think about too long. This son is an artist. .got his degree in fine arts. .listened to everyone tell him it was a useless degree that he could basically wipe his ass with and would never get him anywhere. I kept encouraging him that the paper was transferable. Keep going. Get it. So fast forward to last night, which was quite honestly the nicest xmas party i have ever attended. Held in a ballroom of a hotel, Xmas decor, AMAZING meal. I am sitting there and they are giving out the staff awards and recognitions and they call my son up, and he assumes it is just a standard certificate of thanks, a box of chocolates, yada yada.

Well, the administrator starts telling the story of this twelve year old boy who has been in fifty four foster homes in his short life. ADHD, fetal alcohol syndrome, rage issues. This was one hurt broken child. Apparently, they asked my son if he would work one to one full-time with this boy back in September and he accepted.

Since then, said boy is now attending school every single day ( with my son), has gotten very interested in Parkour, has become more focused, less angry, and reduced his therapy visits to once per month from six times per month.

He has opened up to the point where he asked if he will be able to"stay" there until he is grown He has stopped running away to look for his mother. (Drug addicted prostitute)

My son was not expecting this honour and i could tell he was shocked at the podium.

Note I'm already sniffling and so proud i could die at that very moment already...but what does my kid say? ??

Paraphrasing :

"I am so honoured to be acknowledged tonight but i have to give the credit to my Mom, sitting there in red. She raised us to always see light in the darkest places and would show us tiny flowers pushing through cracks in cement and weeds on our daily afternoon walks as children. She has never thrown anyone away, and there have been a few she should have, likely. It wasn't until I took this position that I truly understood the sacrifices that great parents make for their children. I was making lunch one day and carefully thought out a healthy balanced meal for Jacob.Spent an hour preparing and making it just right for his tastes. He came in, looked at it, and said..can't I just have a hot dog?

I felt so crushed in that moment but have since flashed back to the many times my working mother rushed in the door and immediately started cooking for me and my brother and how snotty we were at times at her menu choices.

Well now I understand her struggles and also understand the the forgiving grace involved in shaping a child into adulthood. Anything positive i have accomplished with Jacob is due to my Mother's lessons to me. I hope i can share those with many more children that come under my care in the future. "

So, I tell you what. .next to the births of my kids. .that was quite simply the best moment of my life so far. I have sons. You don't hear any of that stuff usually.

It truly made all the struggles i endured raising them go away instantly.

Oh my..I am waking on a cloud today.

Life is so incredibly good.

TLDR: My kid got an award and i cried.

Such a wonderful post,  You are an amazing mother who's son  is teaching and applying your values to others. What a honor for everyone

[RedPonyDriver]

And the clouds are closing in again...too much month, not enough $. We're supposed to move into our apartment this week but can't even afford the darn gas. Have to come up with the $ for the U-Haul by the 20th or get hit with another month of storage fees. 

 

PLEASE...cross your fingers I make it to the 2nd round of interviews and end up with a job offer. 

[Wok Chop]

MarysWetBar, what a beautiful tribute from your son! I think my heart is going to explode.

[Barb23]

MarysWetBar - Wow, what a beautiful Christmas present your son gave you.

RedPonyDriver- I will be crossing my fingers & hoping the best for you.

Brian - hoping things are on the upswing. Saying an extra prayer for you & your family.

[Tabbygirl521]

Mary'sWetBar, thank you so much for sharing this beautiful story about your son! What a wonderful young man, to make such a profound difference to a young child in need, and to acknowledge that he wouldn't have been in a position to do so without you. We don't raise our kids looking for this Kind of tribute but man. You have got to be on Cloud Nine.

[magpye29]

MarysWetBar, that was just wonderful!  What an amazing validation!

 

RedPonyDriver, I'm keeping you in my prayers.

 

Thanks for all the encouragement, everyone.  My husband keeps doling out the pain a little at a time.  He says he'll go to counseling if I set it up, but his mind is made up.  I upset him because I told him I've never know him to leave a relationship if he didn't already have the replacement lined up, but he forgets how long I've known him and what I know about him.  He's unhappy because I looked at his cell phone records online.  His usage has more than tripled since August, and he has literally hours of conversations with two numbers (both of which belong to women).  He doesn't know I know their names.  Oh, well, cell phone bill is in my name.  He absolutely would not tell me anything about these phone calls.  I assumed it was one person, but it's two.  He says it has nothing to do with what's going on between us.  Tonight he went to sleep at his sister's house and left his key to our apartment on the table.  Yesterday he took off his wedding ring.  I just feel sick and hurt and worthless, and I'm dreading Christmas.  I asked what we were doing about Christmas, and he told me he's going to his brother's house.  I'll be here alone, which is okay because I don't think i want to be with anyone else.

 

Enough about me.  What's everyone hoping to get for Christmas?

[Tabbygirl521]

I can't even comprehend that Christmas is almost upon us. Our house and yard are both torn up for various repairs and upgrades, to the point that we can't really even decorate. The yard has been torn up since way last summer, and I can't really comprehend that has persisted till now! We do have a few decorations near the front door. No tree.

Not to sound hokey, but our family went through some shit with a capital S the past few years. We seem to be over the big stuff. Honestly, my wish is for good health for my loved ones, and no challenges or drama about anything. I almost can't stand the idea of receiving any kind of object, or anything I would have to do something with. Does that sound awful? I Am just wrung out.

Edited December 13, 2015 by Tabbygirl521