Small Talk: The Prayer Closet

[SMama]

My husband is very proficient in Spanish bad words. A cono, carajo, puneta will fly out of his mouth at the most inopportune times; like when we shop at the Mexican Market. But if I use the F word, I must think what effect it will have on our daughter. I have several friends who are multilingual, and although we all grew up that way, we don't use profanity in our supposed "main language."  Just writing that about my husband made me think. There has to be a study or two about it out there.

[Arwen Evenstar]

22 minutes ago, SMama said:

My husband is very proficient in Spanish bad words. A cono, carajo, puneta will fly out of his mouth at the most inopportune times; like when we shop at the Mexican Market. But if I use the F word, I must think what effect it will have on our daughter. I have several friends who are multilingual, and although we all grew up that way, we don't use profanity in our supposed "main language."  Just writing that about my husband made me think. There has to be a study or two about it out there.

LOL..instead of puña, I used puñeta by mistake in Ponce in a public place in front of my husband’s friends. We had a good laugh about it, and they knew I was mortified.  You kinda had to be there.  I just said, Hay, una gringa, what else could be expected of me.

[SMama]

????? thank you, I needed the laugh. I can just picture it, but do feel sorry for your embarrassment. 

[EVS]

@Arwen Evenstar, I just wanted to add my support and my prayers that you continue to improve every day. 

[marypat57]

Arwen, let me add my heathen Catholic prayers for your complete healing.  I've been there, done that and have a wide assortment of tshirts to prove it.

I am a 31 year survivor of Hodgkin's lymphoma.  I had both radiation and chemotherapy.  It sucks to say the least.

I am confident that you will do well.  All of us here in the Prayer Closet are here to support you and snark with you.

 

 

 

I w

[Arwen Evenstar]

@marypat57, thank you for your support as well as sharing your journey. I hope you continue to enjoy your success at keeping the evil cancer away!

Ovarian clear cell carcinoma Stage 4 is my challenge. The prognosis for this is pretty poor, as it’s not garden variety ovarian cancer.  As I was in pretty good health, other than being too chunky for my own good, and only in my early 50s, they seem to think my odds are better.  Unfortunately, ovarian cancer doesn’t typically present troubling enough symptoms to be discovered at early stages. 

Wanted to be downtown today to cheer on our Astros, but of course not well enough yet. I consoled myself that it was on TV and that God had already been good enough to me to get me this far. 

And yes, I want to give full frontal hugs to all my well wishers, and of course “heathen” Catholic prayers are just as awesome as any other prayers, good vibes and well wishes!  

[Catfin]

Anyone have kids teetering on the edge of the nest?  DD is 17 and a HS Senior.  Currently part time high school, part time college.   We've been doing college visits and all the Senior year stuff.  She's leaning toward going away vs staying local and living at home next year for school. 

Im going to miss this girl so much, this stage of life.  (Season of life, TM Duggar).  I'm going to miss she and her kid brother tussling, our house being kid central, DH, the kids and I being the fearsome foursome.  DS is 14 and a Freshman, so we have a reprieve. No idea how this all happened so quickly.  Excited for her and horrified at the same time. 

[lookeyloo]

8 hours ago, Catfin said:

Anyone have kids teetering on the edge of the nest?  DD is 17 and a HS Senior.  Currently part time high school, part time college.   We've been doing college visits and all the Senior year stuff.  She's leaning toward going away vs staying local and living at home next year for school. 

Im going to miss this girl so much, this stage of life.  (Season of life, TM Duggar).  I'm going to miss she and her kid brother tussling, our house being kid central, DH, the kids and I being the fearsome foursome.  DS is 14 and a Freshman, so we have a reprieve. No idea how this all happened so quickly.  Excited for her and horrified at the same time. 

Yes indeed. Been there. Not teetering anymore but remember well the mixed bag of feelings. Had two boys 21 months apart. They were 2 grades apart. They were and are close even now in their late 40s. When first one left I was weepy mess but had one left. We fell into a new normal so to speak over time. Then he went away and I was a weepy mess all over again. It took more time to get used to them both being gone but soon enough Mr lookeyloo and I settled into a routine. It takes time and you will all be okay. Gather tissues. You will need them. 

[bythelake]

@Arwen Evenstar  you have done so well with your treatment thus far. Here's hoping that your PET scan results are normal. Keeping you in my prayers.

[Arwen Evenstar]

26 minutes ago, bythelake said:

@Arwen Evenstar  you have done so well with your treatment thus far. Here's hoping that your PET scan results are normal. Keeping you in my prayers.

As of the last scan, there was still a trace of lung metastases and the lesions in my abdomen are still present, though getting smaller.  The good thing is that they aren’t lighting up on the PET scan anymore, and the abdominal lesions don’t cause me as much pain as before.

It would be nothing less than a miracle for the scan to be clean, based on what is known about ovarian clear cell pathology . I believe that nothing is impossible with God, and that belief has helped carry me through some tough times.  I know everyone is going to die from some cause or another when it’s their time to go; I’m just hoping and praying I get a stay.  I just don’t want to be another statistic taken by cancer, and I certainly don’t want to predecease my mother for her sake.

Moment of truth is Tuesday.  It’s so nerve wracking to worry about results, because every fiber of your being wants to believe this treatment is working for you and that you can finally escape this nightmare and return to life as you knew it before getting sick.

[Love2dance]

@Arwen Evenstar, hugs, hugs and more hugs. ??

[latetotheparty]

3 hours ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

As of the last scan, there was still a trace of lung metastases and the lesions in my abdomen are still present, though getting smaller.  The good thing is that they aren’t lighting up on the PET scan anymore, and the abdominal lesions don’t cause me as much pain as before.

It would be nothing less than a miracle for the scan to be clean, based on what is known about ovarian clear cell pathology . I believe that nothing is impossible with God, and that belief has helped carry me through some tough times.  I know everyone is going to die from some cause or another when it’s their time to go; I’m just hoping and praying I get a stay.  I just don’t want to be another statistic taken by cancer, and I certainly don’t want to predecease my mother for her sake.

Moment of truth is Tuesday.  It’s so nerve wracking to worry about results, because every fiber of your being wants to believe this treatment is working for you and that you can finally escape this nightmare and return to life as you knew it before getting sick.

Normal life never looks so appealing as it does when you are sick. I wasn't going to say anything but I am recovering from a pulmonary embolism - and very lucky to be alive - and feel like I will never have a carefree moment again. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

22 minutes ago, latetotheparty said:

Normal life never looks so appealing as it does when you are sick. I wasn't going to say anything but I am recovering from a pulmonary embolism - and very lucky to be alive - and feel like I will never have a carefree moment again. 

WOW, that is a really scary thing to go through!  You are very blessed and lucky to still be here to tell the tale.  Hugs to you.

[latetotheparty]

5 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

WOW, that is a really scary thing to go through!  You are very blessed and lucky to still be here to tell the tale.  Hugs to you.

Thanks, Arwen. I know how lucky I am; I lost a coworker to a PE two years ago.  

[On the Bias]

Delurking, @Arwen, to say that I'm keeping you close in my thoughts. 

[lookeyloo]

4 hours ago, latetotheparty said:

Normal life never looks so appealing as it does when you are sick. I wasn't going to say anything but I am recovering from a pulmonary embolism - and very lucky to be alive - and feel like I will never have a carefree moment again. 

So glad you are well. Totally agree about the carefree days. I'm about 8 years out from the breast cancer and Mr lookeyloo has had a heart attack, bypass surgery and a sternal wound infection that took a year to heal, and then last year a stroke. So when people say "how are you" I say "fine" but to myself I am thinking I hope nothing is growing in my body or in Mr lookeyloo's brain. I am grateful for every day. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

Glad you and Mr Lookeyloo have had some peace from your health problems and that you both continue to enjoy good health.

[latetotheparty]

1 hour ago, lookeyloo said:

So glad you are well. Totally agree about the carefree days. I'm about 8 years out from the breast cancer and Mr lookeyloo has had a heart attack, bypass surgery and a sternal wound infection that took a year to heal, and then last year a stroke. So when people say "how are you" I say "fine" but to myself I am thinking I hope nothing is growing in my body or in Mr lookeyloo's brain. I am grateful for every day. 

*hugs*  I really hope all the scariest times are behind us all. 

[lookeyloo]

41 minutes ago, Arwen Evenstar said:

Glad you and Mr Lookeyloo have had some peace from your health problems and that you both continue to enjoy good health.

Thank you. At the moment we do but once one hears "cancer" there is never any real peace again. At least for me. For him he worries more about another stroke than the heart attack. We do enjoy our days but there is always a trepidation that something will go wrong. But on the brighter side - we are not Duggars!!!

[Honeycocoa]

Catfin, there is a handy website called Grown and Flown about parenting high school /college age kids that you might like.  https://grownandflown.com/

I came here to post a link to this weird high fashion article about dressing Modestly from the New York Times.  it's just interesting.. ( no mention of the Duggers) https://www.nytimes.com/2017/11/02/t-magazine/modest-fashion-clothes.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&version=Moth-Visible&moduleDetail=inside-nyt-region-0&module=inside-nyt-region&region=inside-nyt-region&WT.nav=inside-nyt-region

Y'all stay healthy now.

[Sew Sumi]

I'm not in a good place tonight. I found out earlier today that a dear interwebz friend of over 10 years has been taken off all forms of life support (vent, feeding tube, etc). 

Don't let anyone tell you that internet friendships aren't real. I may have never met my friend in person, but she is like a big sister to me, and one of the best snarkers (on a few common topics, Duggars included) that I know. 

I will miss her terribly. 

Thanks for letting me vent. :)

[Temperance]

@SewSumi So sorry for your loss!

[marypat57]

On 11/3/2017 at 9:26 PM, Arwen Evenstar said:

On 11/3/2017 at 9:26 PM, Arwen Evenstar said:

@marypat57, thank you for your support as well as sharing your journey. I hope you continue 

Wanted to be downtown today to cheer on our Astros, but of course not well enough yet. I consoled myself that it was on TV and that God had already been good enough to me to get me this far. 

Arwen, I just wanted to let you know that having your hometown team win an exciting World Series does wonders for your health.  During the time that I was being diagnosed and staged in the fall of 1986, I had my beloved Mets to lift my spirits. I was even able to attend a NLCS game.   I too would have loved to go down to lower Broadway and City Hall to see my team's ticker tape parade, but it would not have been good healthwise.

 

[Arwen Evenstar]

@Sew Sumi, I’m so sorry for your loss, and I know you will miss your friend terribly.  Full frontal hugs to you.

[lascuba]

I'm so sorry @Sew Sumi. I lost an internet friend a few years ago and it still hurts. 

@Arwen Evenstar, @lookeyloo, @latetotheparty, I'm right there with you on the carefree thing. I never posted about this here, but I just finished treatment for breast cancer two weeks ago. Diagnosed in February, finished chemo in June, had surgery in July, and and then radiation. It's been relatively smooth, all things considered, but yeah, I still can't feel normal. I went from a completely healthy 36 year old with an uneventful medical history to having cancer and all that entails. I keep thinking about having this hanging over my head for the rest of my life. Like from now on when I go to a new doctor I'm going to have to check off "cancer" under medical history and I'm really annoyed about that. 

[latetotheparty]

10 minutes ago, lascuba said:

I'm so sorry @Sew Sumi. I lost an internet friend a few years ago and it still hurts. 

@Arwen Evenstar, @lookeyloo, @latetotheparty, I'm right there with you on the carefree thing. I never posted about this here, but I just finished treatment for breast cancer two weeks ago. Diagnosed in February, finished chemo in June, had surgery in July, and and then radiation. It's been relatively smooth, all things considered, but yeah, I still can't feel normal. I went from a completely healthy 36 year old with an uneventful medical history to having cancer and all that entails. I keep thinking about having this hanging over my head for the rest of my life. Like from now on when I go to a new doctor I'm going to have to check off "cancer" under medical history and I'm really annoyed about that. 

Lascuba, I'm so sorry you're going through that. I had uterine cancer at 35 and I wish I could tell you that you get over it but you really don't. Being blindsided like that when I was feeling healthy and strong has made it really hard to ever trust my body again. Continued healing to you. ❤️❤️❤️

[Love2dance]

First, @Sew Sumi, I am so sorry for your loss. Friends have an important place in our hearts, and I know yours is hurting with the passing of your cyber friend. May memories of your friendship console you.

@lascuba, @lookeyloo, @Arwen Evenstar, and @latetotheparty, you remind us of what is important and to appreciate our good days. Wishing all of you continued good news at your checkups and some comfort from sharing with our little family here. Warm hugs to you all

[lookeyloo]

@lascuba, @latetotheparty, @Arwen Evenstar - we are on a page of not trusting our bodies, trying to live a good life regardless of the diagnosis (Arwen - when you are through with treatment and NED - because I believe you will be) not being able to forget and being grateful and thankful for each good day.  I still go into each checkup with trepidation. Because one just never knows. 

@Sew Sumi - so sorry you lost your friend. Another thing to try and get used to. 

But still - on the brighter side - we are not Duggars!!

[bigskygirl]

My husband would come home after working the graveyard shift and having a dialysis treatment before going to work in a good mood. I ask him why he was happy, and he said he is alive after getting a life threatening diagnosis and was given two weeks to live. I do not know how he did it.

I get cranky because I do not feel well and the multiple health issues and medical appointments/tests/procedures in the last two years, but I am lucky compared to a lot of people. I still get nervous when my husband has medical tests or appointments because I keep thinking something could go wrong. I also get nervous when I go in because I am afraid I will be told I have another medical condition needing treatment.

[EVS]

On 11/3/2017 at 9:17 PM, Catfin said:

Anyone have kids teetering on the edge of the nest?  DD is 17 and a HS Senior.  Currently part time high school, part time college.   We've been doing college visits and all the Senior year stuff.  She's leaning toward going away vs staying local and living at home next year for school. 

Im going to miss this girl so much, this stage of life.  (Season of life, TM Duggar).  I'm going to miss she and her kid brother tussling, our house being kid central, DH, the kids and I being the fearsome foursome.  DS is 14 and a Freshman, so we have a reprieve. No idea how this all happened so quickly.  Excited for her and horrified at the same time. 

I know what you are going through. My youngest is a college freshman going to school 3 hours away. My oldest is 21. He didn’t go away for college but is planning to move across the country with his girlfriend in the next 6-12 months.  I’m happy for both of my boys and proud of the people they have become, but it is still hard watching them leave the nest. (The college visits and moving my son into his dorm were both exciting and traumatic for me and his dad, lol. )

Edited November 6, 2017 by EVS

[jjane]

Dear Arwen, I will be praying for you tomorrow and the days following that you have good results. You have shown amazing strength through all of this.  I have been wondering how you were doing lately, but I understand not wanting to talk too much about it.  Anyway, virtual full frontal hugs on the way, lots of prayer coming, and I hope you can feel the love and good wishes from this board. It truly is a caring community full of wonderful people. 

To all the others on the board who are having health problems or worrying about family members who have been impacted by the recent weather, I am praying for you as well and look forward to your updates. I wish good health and good outcomes to you all. 

I've been just lurking lately due to the sudden loss of my older brother two weeks ago. He's the second sibling I've lost this year and the one I was closest to. We made arrangements for a day trip the day before he died and I still can't believe he is gone.  My nuclear family of origin is gone and it is a weird feeling. These were the people who knew me from the day I was born and the ones who shared my memories of our parents. Despite having a great husband of 37 years, I still feel adrift.

Edited November 6, 2017 by jjane
extra word

[emma675]

Oh, jjane, extra hard hugs. I'm so sorry for your losses this year, I can't even imagine.

[Jynnan tonnix]

58 minutes ago, jjane said:

Dear Arwen, I will be praying for you tomorrow and the days following that you have good results. You have shown amazing strength through all of this.  I have been wondering how you were doing lately, but I understand not wanting to talk too much about it.  Anyway, virtual full frontal hugs on the way, lots of prayer coming, and I hope you can feel the love and good wishes from this board. It truly is a caring community full of wonderful people. 

To all the others on the board who are having health problems or worrying about family members who have been impacted by the recent weather, I am praying for you as well and look forward to your updates. I wish good health and good outcomes to you all. 

I've been just lurking lately due to the sudden loss of my older brother two weeks ago. He's the second sibling I've lost this year and the one I was closest to. We made arrangements for a day trip the day before he died and I still can't believe he is gone.  My nuclear family of origin is gone and it is a weird feeling. These were the people who knew me from the day I was born and the ones who shared my memories of our parents. Despite having a great husband of 37 years, I still feel adrift.

Oh, that has to be so difficult! Sudden deaths of friends and family have got to be some of the most traumatic things to go through. So sorry for the year you have had to endure. I don't have siblings, but I imagine losing one has to be the worst!

[lookeyloo]

@jjane - I am so sorry! My baby brother killed himself right before he turned 50. We were very close. It was 15 years ago and I miss him every day. This isn't about me but just to let you know I understand how sad it is.  One day far in the future you won't cry every day.  Sending many hugs of comfort and wish I could send you what you really want. 

[lascuba]

Oh, I am so sorry for your loss, @jjane.

[bythelake]

@Arwen Evenstar hoping and praying that things go well for you tomorrow.

@jjane, so very sorry for your losses this year.

[jjane]

To everyone who responded about the death of my brother, thank you so much. I haven't talked about it much in real life because it is still new and raw and I don't like to make people uncomfortable.  It's easier sometimes to be open  from the safety of my computer.  Y'all made me cry but it was a good cry, it's incredible that people on an anonymous board can care so much about people they will never see.

[Arwen Evenstar]

@lascuba  sorry to hear of your battle with breast cancer, but glad to hear you’re doing well. I can’t apeak to radiation, but I hear it can be very tiring.  Chemo wiped the floor with me, so I get this whole wondering when am I going to feel normal again myself.  I pray they will tell you that you have NED.

@latetotheparty, sounds like you have had a rough time between uterine cancer and the PE incident as well.  I pray your health troubles are behind you and never bother you again.

@jjane, so sorry for the loss of your brother and even sadder to remember you had lost a brother earlier this year. May memories of your beloved brother comfort you during this sad time.

2017 really has been an annus horribilis for many of us on this board in more ways than one, along with 3 disastrous storms, wildfires, mass shootings, economic woes for energy workers.  Looking forward to the Puerto Rican New Year’s Eve tradition of sacude zapato viejo!  I want to throw this year out like an old shoe!

[AUgirl]

7 hours ago, EVS said:

 

On 11/3/2017 at 9:17 PM, Catfin said:

Anyone have kids teetering on the edge of the nest?  DD is 17 and a HS Senior.  Currently part time high school, part time college.   We've been doing college visits and all the Senior year stuff.  She's leaning toward going away vs staying local and living at home next year for school. 

Im going to miss this girl so much, this stage of life.  (Season of life, TM Duggar).  I'm going to miss she and her kid brother tussling, our house being kid central, DH, the kids and I being the fearsome foursome.  DS is 14 and a Freshman, so we have a reprieve. No idea how this all happened so quickly.  Excited for her and horrified at the same time. 

 

I’m in the same boat. My daughter is a senior. Son is an8th graded. She’s read to try her wings but I’m going to miss her something terribly. Maybe a good thing is anything farther than an hour is too far. 

Currently dealing with both of their hectic schedules and feeling like a shitty parent because I feel like I’m neglecting my son-but it’s sister’s senior year. 

He has state soccer tournament the day his sister is performing on field for college honor band. I dont have a choice but to divide and conquer but I still feel guilty. 

[Marigold]

@Arwen Evenstar

Praying you get a good report.

Wow, so much cancer...so glad you are all here.  Hugs. 

[Arwen Evenstar]

THanks!  It’s tomorrow morning and I’ve been a bag of nerves.  Looks like I’ve got another sinus infection and my feeties are still buzzing.  So ready to be done with this. Thanks to everyone for prayers and good vibes and squishy hugs.

[wilsie]

Praying right now before I go to bed.   I hope you have good news and peace for you and everyone who loves you.  Blessings Arwen.

[emma675]

Arwen, thinking and praying for you today. 

[SMama]

Waiting on pins and needles for your results Arwen, praying and sending positive P.R. vibes.

Edited November 7, 2017 by SMama

[ChiCricket]

3 minutes ago, SMama said:

Waiting on pins and needles for your results Arwen, praying and sending positive P.R. vibes.

I agree. Everytime I see a notification for small talk, I think it's  going to be @Arwen Evenstar posting with her  results. I hope its good news. 

[EVS]

39 minutes ago, ChiCricket said:

I agree. Everytime I see a notification for small talk, I think it's  going to be @Arwen Evenstar posting with her  results. I hope its good news. 

 

45 minutes ago, SMama said:

Waiting on pins and needles for your results Arwen, praying and sending positive P.R. vibes.

Same here. I have been thinking about her and hoping for good news all day. 

[Jynnan tonnix]

39 minutes ago, EVS said:

 

Same here. I have been thinking about her and hoping for good news all day. 

So have I!

[bythelake]

1 hour ago, EVS said:

 

Same here. I have been thinking about her and hoping for good news all day. 

Me too. She's been on my mind all day. Don't forget though, she's in the southwest, so it's still earlier there than some of us.

[EVS]

Just now, bythelake said:

Me too. She's been on my mind all day. Don't forget though, she's in the southwest, so it's still earlier there than some of us.

I was trying to remember where she lives. Thank you!

[Sew Sumi]

She's in the Houston area. I have also had her on my mind all day.