S05.E22: The Grad Finale

[Pallas]

As Mark's graduation approaches, he considers his relationship with his father; Louise plans a big graduation ceremony at the Lunch Box. Season finale.

[greekmom]

This was such a terrible episode.  I knew David wasn't going to show when Johnny Galecki's name didn't show in the credits beforehand.

I hate the way they have trashed David's character.  It would have been ok if David was mentioned that he had some sort of relationship with his children and not a dead beat dad.  He could have just had a job in California or something and couldn't visit often.  Just because Mark had a relationship with David didn't mean that he couldn't have a close relationship with Ben.

Coupled with the fact that the rest of those yahoos made the whole graduation about me! me! me! (Harris and Becky only getting their GEDs, Jackie's parents and Dan's parents not caring...) was just dumb.  Harris and Becky both could have graduated if they wanted to but didn't want to.  They have no one to blame about their situation but themselves.

It would have been awesome if the show could have gotten both Johnny and Kaley Cuoco with Johnny being all David and Kaley playing up some smart business woman (very different from her BBT character).  Glad next year is their finale season.

[ams1001]

"Your life sounds like Dickens...but dark." 😄

[Snow Apple]

"I'm sorry I threatened you with corn."

[greekmom]

One thing i forgot to mention is why is Mark going by Mark Conner but Harris goes by Harris Conner-Healey?

And was Dan's grad picture from the episode where he played DJ in a dream?

[ams1001]

"I had to make some of you to have family at my graduation..."

16 minutes ago, greekmom said:

Glad next year is their finale season.

Is it? I am not sad about this. 

[Rocknrollzombie]

Just now, ams1001 said:

"I had to make some of you to have family at my graduation..."

Is it? I am not sad about this. 

It is hopefully please god, but yeah the EPs said next season is probably going to be short and the last season.

[Snow Apple]

17 minutes ago, greekmom said:

I hate the way they have trashed David's character.  

I hate that too. Original Show David would never abandon his children. He was weak but he was always there trying.

[Rocknrollzombie]

1 minute ago, Snow Apple said:

I hate that too. Original Show David would never abandon his children. He was weak but he was always there trying.

Exactly he would never do what his parents did to him and mark and their sisters.

As someone who comes from 6 siblings, four who are my half siblings they were abandon by their mom at very very young ages. My mom stepped up to raise them like her own. And my half siblings never abandon their kids or spouses.

Edited May 4, 2023 by Rocknrollzombie

[Annber03]

I didn't even think to look at the credits - I genuinely wondered for a time if David would show up in a surprise ending. 

I liked the episode - the graduation ceremony was fun, and I liked all the pictures they had up front. I also got a good laugh out of everyone's reactions when Jackie did that scream-yell thing when her name was called XD.  The end credits bit was cute, too.

And Mark's comments about Ben in his speech for his own graduation were sweet :). I totally understand his desire to want David there in and of itself, but I like how he handled that situation in the end. 

Also liked how Louise solved the whole issue of everyone wanting some sort of fun thing at the graduation party. 

Don't know if it'll be September at this point, depending on how the strike goes and all, but until next season, then, should all pan out okay. 

[EtheltoTillie]

22 minutes ago, greekmom said:

.

It would have been awesome if the show could have gotten both Johnny and Kaley Cuoco with Johnny being all David and Kaley playing up some smart business woman (very different from her BBT character).  Glad next year is their finale season.

Don’t forget, Kaley also played Katey’s daughter in 8 Simple Rules.  They could come up with some mystery daughter plot. 
FWIW I didn’t think this episode was bad, other than retconned David. I thought it was better than some other recent ones. 

[EtheltoTillie]

Mark’s speech made me tear up. 

Edited May 4, 2023 by EtheltoTillie

[ams1001]

5 minutes ago, Annber03 said:

but I like how he handled that situation in the end. 

I liked that he told him not to come, instead of David just not showing up and disappointing him.

[Snow Apple]

Just now, ams1001 said:

I liked that he told him not to come, instead of David just not showing up and disappointing him.

I agree. If it his version of David really want a relationship with Mark, he can do it on an ordinary day one-on-one. Not simply show up in the middle of an audience of hundreds. Glad Mark realized a real dad is there for the little things, both good and bad.

[StaceyNotStacie]

Part of me was wondering if we’d get a reveal that the family (mostly Dan or Darlene) was keeping David from contacting Mark by intercepting letters or emails. 
 

The “happy” ending almost felt like a series finale. There was no cliffhanger or anything. It’s almost like they didn’t know if they were coming back and made it a series finale just in case. 

[jalady]

I am unreasonably bothered by the fact that Ben didn’t bring out any forks with the dinner plates when he brought Mark dinner.  Napkins either (hello! pot pie crust will leave crumbs), but I kept looking for the forks.  Why yes, I am borderline OCD.  How did you guess? 😂

[One Tough Cookie]

The only thing I liked about that show was Mark's speech.  Other than that--cringe worthy.

[emmyG]

I'm so pissed off I can only laugh about it.

Really? Really?

Not even touching the whole David debacle, I want to like the idea of giving everyone the graduation they should have had, but the way it was handled came across so incredibly flimsily as "We can't afford any other sets or any other characters!" We'll have a party in the Lunch Box, for reasons. Not a single friend or even mild acquaintance of Mark's will be involved, isn't it perfectly normal for a 'graduation party' to involve nothing but the same relatives you're stuck with every day? Like, before the surprise 'twist', how did they think this was going to work?

[Rocknrollzombie]

1 minute ago, emmyG said:

I'm so pissed off I can only laugh about it.

Really? Really?

Not even touching the whole David debacle, I want to like the idea of giving everyone the graduation they should have had, but the way it was handled came across so incredibly flimsily as "We can't afford any other sets or any other characters!" We'll have a party in the Lunch Box, for reasons. Not a single friend or even mild acquaintance of Mark's will be involved, isn't it perfectly normal for a 'graduation party' to involve nothing but the same relatives you're stuck with every day? Like, before the surprise 'twist', how did they think this was going to work?

With the whole writers strike going on. I can’t even blame bad writing well a bit yeah but, maybe the writers are writing badly because of how underpaid they are ….I saw residual check of a  writter on tumblr a Penny a Penny they got a Penny for an snl episode they wrote back in 2022 

[SilverLake0315]

2 hours ago, greekmom said:

One thing i forgot to mention is why is Mark going by Mark Conner but Harris goes by Harris Conner-Healey?

I’m curious about this, too. 

[madpsych78]

2 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Don’t forget, Kaley also played Katey’s daughter in 8 Simple Rules.  They could come up with some mystery daughter plot. 
FWIW I didn’t think this episode was bad, other than retconned David. I thought it was better than some other recent ones. 

And Katey played Kaley's mother in TBBT. 

[buckboard]

So Mark finishes first in his class and his family is poor, but he can't get a scholarship.  What else does he need to qualify? 

And his mother has to quit a well-paying management job with a future to work serving lunch at the college so he can get a free ride as an employee's child.

[Bastet]

David having abandoned his family was established in the revival season of Roseanne, and at the time I couldn't honestly claim it to be out of character since he was a teenager when we got to know him and so much time had passed since we last saw him, so I'm not going to get fired up about maintaining that background five years into this spin-off.  Darlene's description of a guy who goes through phases where he thinks he can just pop back in, but then can't handle being confronted by his past so runs off is wholly accurate in this modern universe, so I'm fine with it.

Mark blaming Darlene for David's absence was so painfully realistic, to lash out at the parent who stuck around for scaring off the one who bolted.  "You stupid, sweet, awful boy" was great.  It was nice to see Mark act ugly, but also nice that he saw sense before too long.  "He got me" was pretty much my reaction to his speech, too.  Lovely.  And I loved Darlene considering that it would be difficult for David to hear; great lead-in to Mark saying he told him not to come, that if he really wants to see him, the two of them can get together.

I liked the pre-party graduation for those who didn't get one (and love the old pictures) -- what a sweet, and totally Mark, idea.  The backstories don't all make sense.  Bev and Al thought Jackie had a lot of potential, so there's no way they'd have missed her graduation.  And, while it's 100% believable Ed would have worked instead of attending Dan's, his mom would have been there.  But taken on its own, it was a nice moment for the family.

I generally haven't liked Louise since the wedding, but I loved her pointing out these folks are completely casual about not having health insurance, but a HS graduation comes up and suddenly they need a DJ and a photo booth.  (Also, good grief, Jackie, every single one of you has a phone that takes pictures; acting like without a photo booth there will be no photographic evidence of Mark's party was ridiculous even for her.)

On a random note, how long did Harris think they could rent a limo for with $100?!

[StaceyNotStacie]

When they were talking about who went to the actual ceremony, why didn’t they mention anything about the ceremony being live-streamed so that they could watch from home? 

[ButterQueen]

I loved the episode.  The whole thing.

[Yeah No]

2 hours ago, buckboard said:

So Mark finishes first in his class and his family is poor, but he can't get a scholarship.  What else does he need to qualify? 

And his mother has to quit a well-paying management job with a future to work serving lunch at the college so he can get a free ride as an employee's child.

I just can't get over this.  It's like a mountain, a vast bowl of pus.....(Python quote).

I mean how stupid do they think the audience is?  It's starting to feel insulting.  One might think they're intentionally thumbing their noses at the audience with this stupidity.  Or maybe the writers themselves are just that stupid.  If they want to make life look tough for these people they could find more realistic ways of doing it.  A better plot would have been Mark not getting the contrabassoon scholarship but then in the end getting one based on his grades.  Then his mother could grovel back to her management position by saying she only left it to help her son.  The bosses would find that heroic and hire her back.  But no, they continue to create an alternate universe where things are even more unfair than they are in this one just to make these people into losers that continue to lose in spite of everything potentially positive in their lives.  There are plenty of unfair ways they could lose, but the show has to invent ridiculous ways to do it.  And how about letting them win once in a while?  I honestly don't know what world these writers are living in.

And how much effort would it take for them to do a little research, or even consult people about show history so as to keep things at least somewhat consistent?  How does it help the show to turn David into a deadbeat dad when he wasn't one in the first series?  I understand that they can take liberties with show history but they've taken just about one too many for my taste, and I didn't even watch the original series that much!

 

[Bastet]

12 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

How does it help the show to turn David into a deadbeat dad when he wasn't one in the first series? 

But we never saw him as a dad in the original series.  We got about five combined minutes with Harris as a newborn.  By the time we caught up with everyone again in the revival season, quite a few things had been retconned (which, of course, was after the original series finale had itself retconned quite a few things by saying the whole show was a book Roseanne wrote, some of which was as it had happened and some of which was as she wished it had been), including Harris's age, so we don't even know if that little sliver was accurate. 

Even if it was, how a teenager is with a premature newborn he feared was going to die doesn't dictate how he's going to be years later, with a lot of life changes and, especially, reeling from his brother's death, to his two kids with actual personalities and needs.  It sucks, but a whole lot of men - and a smaller number of women - have bounced, for a variety of reasons in real life, even some where one wouldn't have predicted it.  It's not how I'd have chosen to write him even given the actor's limited - and, later, non-existent - availability, but I couldn't realistically argue at the time it was out of bounds, and they've been pretty consistent about it in his limited appearances and then mentions since. 

Objecting to that I get, but - and here's where I segue into a general observation, not a specific response to your post - this episode didn't turn David into a deadbeat dad; he's been one ever since we reconnected with the family six seasons ago. 

[Rocknrollzombie]

People have a right to be upset over the shitty way they did David character even in the revival season people had an issue. So yeah fans have a right to have issues with the way things have been handle with all of these characters for the past six seasons

Edited May 4, 2023 by Rocknrollzombie

[emmyG]

The original plan for David in the revival was much more palatable. According to interviews given at the time, the idea was that he'd been kind of coming and going erratically ever since cracking up when Mark died. Completely and utterly unreliable, but not deliberately malicious, and clearly plagued by his own demons and struggles with Darlene. He'd become a drifter. Then he ends that revival episode pledging to come back to Lanford, drop roots, and try to get his shit together and be there for the kids regardless of whether he and Darlene are together or not.

So we started The Conners with him having partial custody and trying to get to know the kids and connect with them. He didn't have many appearances, but he was clearly around and trying, awkwardly. After the eventual reconnect and re-breakup with Darlene, the actor left the show but the character did not officially leave Lanford. They NEVER said ANYTHING about what was up with him after that - in fact, the writers have stated it was deliberately ambiguous partly because they didn't want anything established in case they managed to get Johnny back someday. It's never been clear whether he was still seeing the kids offscreen or not. We had no evidence either way.

So, to state that he's now completely ignored them for "four" years? (guess that's trying to cover for Mark and Beverly Rose's sudden ageups) To officially establish that as soon as he broke up with Darlene he DELIBERATELY dumped the kids completely, rather than just being away from them because he was running from Darlene? That is a CHANGE. That makes him far, far worse than the already-pathetic character he'd been turned into.

And that's on top of Darlene repeatedly trying to rewrite history from the time periods we actually saw in the first show. We've commented before on how she said her partner wasn't around during her pregnancy with Harris, which was both a major change to the backstory and contradicting the original show. Now she's here trying to say that David has never changed in the 30 years she's known him. That's completely ridiculous! Him going from being utterly devoted to her and willing to take any abuse she dished out to being someone who apparently doesn't even say hello to his children for multiple years for no reason, that is a huge change.

 

The writers didn't bring up David in order to resolve ongoing questions or appease fans. They brought him up in this episode solely so that they could bash him to make Ben look better. And that's not fair to either David or Ben.

[Yeah No]

7 minutes ago, Rocknrollzombie said:

People have a right to be upset over the shitty way they did David character even in the revival season people had an issue. So yeah fans have a right to have issues with the way things have been handle with all of these characters for the past six seasons

Definitely, people have already said that David's character was weak and not reliable since the reboot of "Roseanne" but no way would they have believed he'd turn into the type of person that would be a deadbeat dad in this series, and that's really the point that shouldn't get lost in the details over exactly when he was turned into a deadbeat dad.

5 hours ago, Bastet said:

But we never saw him as a dad in the original series. 

"First series" = Including the reboot season of "Roseanne" where he wasn't a deadbeat dad, but just one that fades in and out.  

[MarthaEllisanne]

So Mark graduates at the top of his class and doesn't qualify for any merit scholarships? I also question that the family income is too high for Mark to qualify for need-based aid. As usual with this family, things don't add up.

[Brn2bwild]

I liked this episode overall, but one thing struck me was how short the episode felt and how rushed the "turning point" was.  I assume episode lengths haven't gotten drastically shorter since Roseanne aired, yet a full episode of Roseanne always seemed to include so much more.  Does anyone else feel that way?

[Rocknrollzombie]

2 hours ago, emmyG said:

The original plan for David in the revival was much more palatable. According to interviews given at the time, the idea was that he'd been kind of coming and going erratically ever since cracking up when Mark died. Completely and utterly unreliable, but not deliberately malicious, and clearly plagued by his own demons and struggles with Darlene. He'd become a drifter. Then he ends that revival episode pledging to come back to Lanford, drop roots, and try to get his shit together and be there for the kids regardless of whether he and Darlene are together or not.

So we started The Conners with him having partial custody and trying to get to know the kids and connect with them. He didn't have many appearances, but he was clearly around and trying, awkwardly. After the eventual reconnect and re-breakup with Darlene, the actor left the show but the character did not officially leave Lanford. They NEVER said ANYTHING about what was up with him after that - in fact, the writers have stated it was deliberately ambiguous partly because they didn't want anything established in case they managed to get Johnny back someday. It's never been clear whether he was still seeing the kids offscreen or not. We had no evidence either way.

So, to state that he's now completely ignored them for "four" years? (guess that's trying to cover for Mark and Beverly Rose's sudden ageups) To officially establish that as soon as he broke up with Darlene he DELIBERATELY dumped the kids completely, rather than just being away from them because he was running from Darlene? That is a CHANGE. That makes him far, far worse than the already-pathetic character he'd been turned into.

And that's on top of Darlene repeatedly trying to rewrite history from the time periods we actually saw in the first show. We've commented before on how she said her partner wasn't around during her pregnancy with Harris, which was both a major change to the backstory and contradicting the original show. Now she's here trying to say that David has never changed in the 30 years she's known him. That's completely ridiculous! Him going from being utterly devoted to her and willing to take any abuse she dished out to being someone who apparently doesn't even say hello to his children for multiple years for no reason, that is a huge change.

 

The writers didn't bring up David in order to resolve ongoing questions or appease fans. They brought him up in this episode solely so that they could bash him to make Ben look better. And that's not fair to either David or Ben.

Yes all of this the rewriting, to fit the new narratives is always something I will hate with this show. And I like have said once there is a stark contrast between the revival writing and characteristics to the total shift for all of them on the conners.

[emmyG]

21 minutes ago, Brn2bwild said:

 I assume episode lengths haven't gotten drastically shorter since Roseanne aired

not drastically, only a couple of minutes iirc, but "half hour" sitcoms have generally gotten shorter. gotta fit in more ads for biosutocyclopaine. 

Possibly it feels rushed because they're trying hard to cram all the family members in and give them each something to say?

[iMonrey]

I actually thought this was a pretty decent episode, but I'm grading on a curve. The writing has really been all over the map on this show since it started.

They managed to get in some nice moments, and some solid scenes between Mark and Darlene, Ben and Darlene, and Ben and Mark. I even got a little misty-eyed at Mark's speech about Ben.

Yeah there's a lot of dumb premises to get past so that makes it tough. Having a few heartfelt, decent scenes and a few laughs here and there is about the best you can hope for on this show. I liked the running joke about the white socks.

[StaceyNotStacie]

I could see David going no contact with the family. He was always somewhat of a no confrontational character. He only left his mother because Roseanne pulled him out of there. He was unpleasant when they broke up as teens. Outside of Darlene and Roseanne, I think the family pretty much tolerated him, including his own brother. If he sees Darlene remarried and moving on with her life and the kids somewhat happy with a new stepdad, his woe is me sad sack personality might have re-emerged, especially with his biggest supporter not around anymore, and just walked away. 

[emmyG]

Quote

He was unpleasant when they broke up as teens.

He stalked her new boyfriend for an episode or so trying to break them up, then tattled on her drug use which he'd previously lied to cover for her about. Not great behavior but not a monster and he got over it. Darlene was downright horrid to him after the breakup and he basically learned to smile and let it roll off his back. 

Quote

If he sees Darlene remarried and moving on with her life and the kids somewhat happy with a new stepdad

She didn't remarry until this season; that has nothing to do with the concept of him allegedly dumping the kids immediately after dumping her at the therapist's (at which point, iirc, he thought she and Ben were already broken up, and they DID break up for a while then)

Him deciding "oh, they're all better off without me, I'll just go" would be plausible for the character IF he left again because of Ben and Darlene being together now, but the timing for that is all wrong.

[Yogisbooboo64]

I thought the eppy was great and I’m pouting ‘cause we have to wait until September (liked the ‘See you in September’ playing during the ending credits).

The pitch/bitch conversation with Harris and Jackie was hilarious!

What I love about Ben is while sometimes the Conner members run roughshod over him, he will not hesitate to call each and every one of them on their shit when its needed….I was cheering him on when he told Mark off and cried in my pizza slice when Mark gave him very sweet props in his speech. 

Why does John Goodman sound like Thurston Howell III?  Why does he clench his teeth when speaking?  Questions aside, I thought his school picture was hot, just sayin’.

[UYI]

The story of where David is/what he's been up to over these last few years has been ambiguous enough that I could definitely see why people would be upset at him having minimal to no contact with Harris or Mark over these last few years (as I recall, the last time we saw him he was in town/at least close enough where they might have SOME relationship if they wanted one with him), but when Mark first brought up inviting him to his graduation, I immediately fell on the side of him being a deadbeat dad/wondering why Mark would bother asking him in the first place, and was relieved when he told him not to come after all.

As someone who has always been a Becky fan, I especially loved seeing her in that little graduation ceremony--I know she'll hypothetically get one when she graduates from college (let's hope, anyway!), but having watched where she started when she eloped with Original Recipe Mark back in the day--it meant something to me to see that.

And I loved the photo booth in the tag! Some of the tags on this show are so bewildering and weird, I appreciate when they do something simple and fun like this.

See in y'all in the fall for (potentially) one more season! 

Edited May 4, 2023 by UYI

[Snow Apple]

The family didn't just tolerate David back in the day. Dan treated him like a son with all the pride and disappointments that a son brings. Becky had a crush on him for a short while and they loved talking about books and stuff. I don't think DJ liked him much though.

The never mention David since the last time he appeared but we can at least imagine that Harris and/or Mark are visiting him when they are not in the episode (like how we can assume Mary is at DJ's house when she's not around.) Now there's no excuse that David is not a deadbeat dad and not just off-screen.

[Rocknrollzombie]

1 hour ago, Snow Apple said:

The family didn't just tolerate David back in the day. Dan treated him like a son with all the pride and disappointments that a son brings. Becky had a crush on him for a short while and they loved talking about books and stuff. I don't think DJ liked him much though.

 

“Are you going to have a sex dream about me like you did of Becky.” I love how DJ literally thought of the perfect time to say that In front of Mark. And the slow but fast way Mark just turns to look at David was gold.

 

and yeah the family liked him and Mark was his brother, the times Mark was seen to be protective of David was great. The before wedding speech, when DJ beat up David the immediate way mark kneels down to check on David. Anyways can’t go on a tangent with this because then post will be moved to a different thread.

Edited May 4, 2023 by Rocknrollzombie

[CrystalBlue]

I actually enjoyed this episode.  Ben and Darlene's scenes were well acted and I'd give JRF the MVP of this episode.

Harris wasn't annoying.  We didn't have extra characters who were just shoehorned in for appearance's sake.

Louise was great at being an integral part of the family and not off somewhere singing, touring, or having me time.

Mark's speech with Ben being his Dad brought tears to my eyes.

Really liked the "See You in September" tag.  Well done.

[ItsHelloPattiagain]

5 hours ago, iMonrey said:

I actually thought this was a pretty decent episode, but I'm grading on a curve. The writing has really been all over the map on this show since it started. They managed to get in some nice moments, and some solid scenes between Mark and Darlene, Ben and Darlene, and Ben and Mark. I even got a little misty-eyed at Mark's speech about Ben. Yeah there's a lot of dumb premises to get past so that makes it tough. Having a few heartfelt, decent scenes and a few laughs here and there is about the best you can hope for on this show. I liked the running joke about the white socks.

And I actually had the boo-hoos during this episode.  This was the first episode where I wasn't dissecting it like a frog (**waves at Old school Becky***).  Yes, there were parts that were unrealistic (no scholarship for the honor society?) and the writers' memories of the original episodes, but the cast acted the heck out of the show.  Maybe I boo-hooed because this episode was more palatable than the rest of this series and Darlene really didn't irritate the crap out of me this time.  And Ben's eyes were full of tears and that gave me alllllll the feels. . . . See ya in September. 

[babyhouseman]

18 hours ago, StaceyNotStacie said:

When they were talking about who went to the actual ceremony, why didn’t they mention anything about the ceremony being live-streamed so that they could watch from home? 

Wasn't there something mentioned about Zoom and the implication they couldn't afford the Internet? Whatever was said didn't make sense.

 

[Wizardpatch]

Seems like Roseanne should have just let David stay in the Not-Disney cult from the original show. It would have been a more dignified ending for him.

[Angeltoes]

9 hours ago, emmyG said:

Now she's here trying to say that David has never changed in the 30 years she's known him.

I thought,"30 years?! That went by fast!"

5 hours ago, Yogisbooboo64 said:

I thought his school picture was hot, just sayin’.

One of his earlier commercials.  I wouldn't have known it was him except for the smile.

 

[Yogisbooboo64]

See?  Told ya he was hot, growwwwwwwwwwwwwlll!!

[OLynn33]

10 minutes ago, Angeltoes said:

One of his earlier commercials.  I wouldn't have known it was him except for the smile

Impressive hair as well. 

Forgot there actually was a time when commercials were not a cacophony of vertigo and vomit inducing perpetual motion.

[mythoughtis]

23 hours ago, Snow Apple said:

I hate that too. Original Show David would never abandon his children. He was weak but he was always there trying.

He’d have been a stay home dad.  
 

so no room for Mark and no kitchen table? 

20 hours ago, buckboard said:

So Mark finishes first in his class and his family is poor, but he can't get a scholarship.  What else does he need to qualify? 

And his mother has to quit a well-paying management job with a future to work serving lunch at the college so he can get a free ride as an employee's child.

Yet another thing the writers don’t know about Illinois. most valedictorians can find a college that offers them free tuition ...for being a valedictorian, 

Edited May 5, 2023 by mythoughtis

[SoMuchTV]

13 minutes ago, mythoughtis said:

Yet another thing the writers don’t know about Illinois. most valedictorians can find a college that offers then free tuition ...for being a valedictorian, 

Interesting, but in my experience, the valedictorian isn’t determined until very close to graduation, long after a lot of college plans have been finalized. As in, you can’t count on being valedictorian to base your plans on. 

Sorry, I’m overthinking this. We all want to be Mark’s college counselor!