Chit-Chat: What's On Your Mind Today?

[emma675]

2 hours ago, PRgal said:

I need to take my son to Disney.  I don't want him to be like me, and didn't have a Disney experience until the age of 12 (almost 13)!  Only question is whether to do the theme park or a cruise...

I'm not sure how old your son is, but a coworker of mine took her 5 year old son on a Disney cruise first and said she regretted it. I guess it's 24/7 Disney!! everywhere on the ship and it got overstimulating a number of times, especially at night when kids are already tired. She said she wished they had done the park first and then the cruise when he was a little older. 

[kristen111]

7 minutes ago, Ohiopirate02 said:

I stayed in the Jamaica section of Caribbean Beach and had the perfect room.  Walk down the stairs and across the parking lot to the bus stop or walk a bit further to catch the Skyliner.  It was also maybe a 5 minute walk to the main building with the bar, restaurants, and pool.  I have no idea how I lucked into that room.  My research before all said the resort was huge and expect long walks, so I was expecting to get put into the furthest building on the property. 

Love everything about the place.  The pool area, the water and boats.  Everything.  We used to drive there every year.  It was an adventure.  We’ve been all over the U.S. by plane, but love going to Orlando the most.

[JustHereForFood]

3 hours ago, BlueSkies said:

While I feel like I'm one of the only people I know that has a lot of nostalgia for my childhood...  I notice a lot of grown adults still like Walt Disney World or Disney.  For example, the woman at the doctor's office I just came from had a Walt Disney World jacket.

 

 

I liked a couple Disney movies back in the day and went to Walt Disney World once when I was in middle school.  I guess my feeling is neutral about it.  

 

 

But I'm going to assume there's at least some Disney fans that use this site or read this post.  Is the main appeal to you feeding your inner child kind of thing? I mean in some ways that's why Theodore Seville is my avatar.  

I love Disney movies. I've never been to Disneyland, but I'm not sure I would be much interested even if it wasn't so expensive for me. I am not much into theme parks and crowds.

I have some merchandise, but I'm trying to cut back on buying stuff I don't really need. I have 2 Frozen mugs and some stickers and I think that's it. I once made myself a dress to cosplay as Elsa for comic con. I am mostly into the stories themselves, so I got most of the DVDs, even though I now have Disney+. 

I like all kinds of stories, those for children, adults, YA,... Disney has great animated stuff, both visually and story-wise. And movies aimed at children are usually hopeful and have happy endings and that is often what I need. A lot of shows and movies nowadays try to be too dark IMO, even some that I would not expect to. I don't know if they think it makes them more mature, edgy or whatever, sometimes it works, sometimes it IMO has the opposite effect. I can appreciate dark themes if done right, but sometimes I just want to know going in that this is going to be a comfort watch that helps me to stay sane and keep the rest of the faith in humanity I have left.

[ABay]

I went to Disney World and Epcot for spring break once because my friend was working in the park. It was my last year of my degree program and the only time I went anywhere for spring break. Glad I went but once was enough and after 3 other trips to Florida to visit family, I never want to go there again. Flat, hot, humid, hideous, and full of craziness.

[Browncoat]

We first went to DisneyWorld during Spring Break in 1972.  It was very low cost (maybe free?) to get in, but then you had to buy ticket books to ride the rides.  There were several different books, and they contained different combinations of rides.  So, if you wanted to go to the Haunted Mansion and the teacups, you might need two books.  It was a lot of work to figure out the right books for the rides you wanted!  At that time, we stayed in Daytona and drove over for the day.

[shapeshifter]

7 hours ago, BlueSkies said:

…Disney…Is the main appeal to you feeding your inner child kind of thing?

My family does not have any history of attending amusement parks, but we did see movies, including some Disney — but only as children. 

My son-in-law's Mom enjoys taking her grandchildren to Disneyland, but she also likes regular cruises. 

So, I don't have enough experience to answer your question, but I do relate to this:

3 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

movies aimed at children are usually hopeful and have happy endings and that is often what I need. A lot of shows and movies nowadays try to be too dark

 I used to read Jane Austen's novels once a year because they weren't dark or violent.

Yes, there seems to be an understanding that children's literature, movies, etc. will not be dark or violent. But it's not really like that. The Velveteen Rabbit and Bambi are just two examples of horror in children's stories. Never mind the grim Grimm tales, many of which have become Disney movies, only slightly sanitized.

Interesting question, @BlueSkies, even if there isn't really an answer.

Edited April 30 by shapeshifter

[isalicat]

On 4/29/2024 at 3:14 PM, Cloud9Shopper said:

Honestly, if he just made copies of everything ahead of time, handed them out before practice, and people would keep their binders organized…maybe it wouldn’t all feel so frenetic. I hate that I have to sit there and be annoyed because other people can’t keep it together and he never has the copies made that he needs and it’s a constant up and down to hand stuff out and check binders. 

Why not channel your annoyance into action? Volunteer to help! Ask the choir director how you can assist to get copies made, music handed out at the beginning of practice and who within the choir could use a little TLC to keep their binders organized. Consider it part of your ministry (as choir is a highly valued ministry at most churches!) and earn some more gold stars on your crown in heaven? I took over handing out music and putting away music almost immediately in my church choir when I joined 12 years ago and it lets my choir director concentrate on coaching specific bits of music without having to deal with yet one more thing...

[isalicat]

4 hours ago, PRgal said:

I need to take my son to Disney.  I don't want him to be like me, and didn't have a Disney experience until the age of 12 (almost 13)!  Only question is whether to do the theme park or a cruise...

Theme park!! Nothing against cruising (I'm getting ready to plan my second cruise next summer) but there is nothing like having this huge adventurous park to explore with all the rides and the characters to meet! Take at least two days so you won't mind the lines so much and can go back on the second day to stuff he loved.

[JustHereForFood]

6 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Yes, there seems to be an understanding that children's literature, movies, etc. will not be dark or violent. But it's not really like that. The Velveteen Rabbit and Bambi are just two examples of horror in children's stories. Never mind the grim Grimm tales, many of which have become Disney movies, only slightly sanitized.

Yeah, the Disney versions of classic fairy tales (or other stories) have been quite altered. See: Disneyfication

This is a modern phenomenon, pre-20th century, fairy tales were usually not seen as stories for children, but mostly adults, and could get very dark (more like what we now call folklore or myths). I like both concepts, but they are fulfilling very different needs.

[Lisa418722]

I've never been to Disneyland or World either.  I've always wanted to go but never had a chance.  Growing up it was too expensive for my parents. We would go to Opryland every year, but it was close enough to home we didn't have to make it an overnight trip.  Now the older I get, I still want to go, but at this point, I don't know if I'm willing to pay that much to go.  Maybe I'll celebrate my retirement (in many years) by going to Disney World. If I start saving my money now I should have enough to go.  

[Bastet]

45 minutes ago, ABay said:

after 3 other trips to Florida to visit family, I never want to go there again. Flat, hot, humid, hideous, and full of craziness.

It's not my favorite state to visit, that's for sure, but I did enjoy an afternoon in Mount Dora and a day at Cape Canaveral and Cocoa Beach.  Orlando, meh, and the Tampa Bay area didn't do much for me, although I did stop at some cute little beach somewhere on the gulf coast I'm forgetting and had a good lunch.  If it had been a longer trip, I would have spent a couple of days in Key West.

I went in winter, and the weather was nice.  I wouldn't want to be there in the summer; one of my friends lived there for a couple of years before high-tailing it back to CA and said in the summer she just went from air conditioned home to air conditioned car to air conditioned office or store, that's it.  I do not want to be cooped up like that. 

[kristen111]

51 minutes ago, ABay said:

I went to Disney World and Epcot for spring break once because my friend was working in the park. It was my last year of my degree program and the only time I went anywhere for spring break. Glad I went but once was enough and after 3 other trips to Florida to visit family, I never want to go there again. Flat, hot, humid, hideous, and full of craziness.

Besides going to Disney every year for the kids mostly, we actually move from New York to Orlando to a beautiful new development after my husband retired.  Was there for 18 months.  We couldn’t take the heat and other things, so moved back to Long Island.  We do visit relatives tho, and still go to Disney.  Besides the parks there, Disney Marketplace is a great day out.  I love the change of seasons up here tho.  My Sister who lives in Florida, leaves the thermostat on 80.  I told her “get me the hell out of here”.  I was dying.

[athousandclowns]

On 4/29/2024 at 10:59 AM, EtheltoTillie said:

This is a very valuable skill.  It's very useful to be able to co-opt the people on the other end of the line and get them on your side.  You don't have to be right, just get a result.

I am hard of hearing and wear aides. I plead  with my cable company to not be transferred to an Indian call center because no matter how many times I say I’m hard of hearing and my aides are not syncing to my phone for some reason it’s no use. ( I have them on speaker)  Plus they have a script and really don’t give a crap about “customer service”. I wrote down the 6-7 names of specialists they transferred me to.    Technicians are a different experience though ,maybe paid more? Always solve the problem and are patient and pleasant. I am always courteous until that 7th transfer. Same script.    

I did not go to Disneyland until my first marriage honeymoon at 20. Growing up we were working class living check to check.  We watched Disney on Sundays and watched movies.  I went to Disney World  because my late husband had business in Florida and it was fun I think because I enjoyed EPCOT 
  My son married a woman who is Disneyland crazed,  her whole family is and she’s one of 8 and just her dad worked so I believe the numerous times she’s gone were as an adult.  A month before my husband died he wanted to take my son and daughter in law and toddler grandsons  to Disneyland.   I felt bad I didn’t know he liked Disneyland after we’d been married 35 years.    He became too sick so it didn’t happen.   Once I moved back home I took them all in remembrance of my husband .

As many times as my daughter in law had gone she’d never stayed at the Disneyland Hotel ,only motels.   I was so pleased I was able to do that as well as it was the little guys first trip.  It was crazy though with needing to be at Plutos (?) kitchen at 7:30 in the morning and it was a non stop pace. One morning I got into the shower with my socks on.   I felt like there was  Temple Grandin in place with the long long  lines.   I have to admit catching my 3 year old grandson singing and  bobbing his head in it’s a small world made my heart happy.   I couldn’t figure out how he knew it but mom (a teacher ) prepped him on what the visit would be like I think she explained  

 My son doesn’t get it at all . Not at all.  He went to his share of theme parks as a kid with my ex who I used to call  Disneyland Daddy.   My sons brother in law that goes numerous times a year (lives for it but don’t think he has a morgage but does have 2 kids in college)

My  daughter-in-law said regarding that Disney cruise that goes to every Disney location she’d go in a heart beat even if it was 24 days  long and is $115,000 a person. 
There are so  many places I’d love to see and even go back to ,like Denmark and England.   So I’m scratching my head over just going to Disneyland. . 
I’ll end my ramble with if I got invited to go with my family to Disneyland I’d go just to be with them and be somewhere off my block.   Heck they invited me to see Ghoastbusters Sunday and I said I’d look at trailer and let him know , although it didn’t appeal to me at  all  I went .  I nodded off a couple of times. The soon to be 12 year old said he thought the movie might be for adults because of nostalgia.  

[EtheltoTillie]

I've been to Disney World a few times.  Once while in high school--it was new then.  My parents and I drove down from NYC.  In 1975 my (now) husband and I were in college and went on a cheap spring break bus trip to Daytona.  They included a day at Disney's Magic Kingdom.  Imagine if you will a bunch of jaded hippie types having a blast on the silly rides.  We've been back a few more times, as my husband's medical group periodically schedules meetings in Orlando, so we'd go to different parks, such as MGM Studios and Epcot.  Once the medical group rented out Universal Studios for the night, so we got to go with no lines. 

Edited April 30 by EtheltoTillie

[kristen111]

Daughter just said tomorrow price for an adult at Magic Kingdom is $145.  End of May, goes up to $155.  Ridiculous.  I’d rather go on a European cruise from Italy to Greece like so many are going lately.

[PRgal]

40 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Daughter just said tomorrow price for an adult at Magic Kingdom is $145.  End of May, goes up to $155.  Ridiculous.  I’d rather go on a European cruise from Italy to Greece like so many are going lately.

Maybe we'll go to EuroDisney or something.  Two birds with one stone.  Or Disney Hong Kong.

[kristen111]

22 minutes ago, PRgal said:

Maybe we'll go to EuroDisney or something.  Two birds with one stone.  Or Disney Hong Kong.

It’s a shame that everything is so expensive now.  Most people just rip out those credit cards and worry about things later unfortunately.  Maybe you can go off season?

[fairffaxx]

I went to Disneyland for the first & only time in 1959 when I was 12 -- my dad had to attend a conference in San Diego, so they made it the family vacation of a lifetime (as it was, since we never had another one before or since).  I wasn't real impressed with Disneyland but I do still fondly remember the San Diego Zoo. The highlight of the trip for me was staying at the Pickwick Hotel & watching TV news in our room, where I learned that Superman star George Reeves had just died of a gunshot -- which mystified my little sisters, since he was known to repel bullets.

[peacheslatour]

2 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

Yeah, the Disney versions of classic fairy tales (or other stories) have been quite altered. See: Disneyfication

This is a modern phenomenon, pre-20th century, fairy tales were usually not seen as stories for children, but mostly adults, and could get very dark (more like what we now call folklore or myths). I like both concepts, but they are fulfilling very different needs.

Fairy tales do not give the child his first idea of bogey. What fairy tales give the child is his first clear idea of the possible defeat of bogey. The baby has known the dragon intimately ever since he had an imagination. What the fairy tale provides for him is a St. George to kill the dragon.

~ G.K. Chesterton, writing the original lines, in Tremendous Trifles, Book XVII: The Red Angel (1909)

[Bastet]

3 hours ago, EtheltoTillie said:

Once the medical group rented out Universal Studios for the night, so we got to go with no lines. 

Now that was a fun way to go -- the company my dad worked for used to do that with Disneyland.  And then the first company I worked for did it with Magic Mountain (Six Flags).  One year, it was right before a new ride opened to the general public, so we got to go on it first.

I have one friend left working for Disney (it's not the best employer in L.A. so many people don't stay long despite the perks, moving to other entertainment companies), so I could go with him to Disneyland for free, and I've given thought a few times over the years to checking it out for nostalgia's sake (something I would not pay for), but decided I don't want to.  They've changed so many of the rides it would just bug me, given my purpose for being there (plus, we'd have to both take off work to go on an off-season weekday in order not to lose our minds at the crowds, so that's a pain).  I went several times as a kid, and then for Grad Night when I was a senior in high school.  I'm good.

(I'm good on Magic Mountain, too.  I still enjoyed the roller coasters in my early 20s on those company nights, but I don't think my body would at all appreciate it these days and I have no interest in finding out.)

Edited May 1 by Bastet

[EtheltoTillie]

The medical group has large annual meetings with fun events. They just had one in Las Vegas with William Shatner as a guest speaker!  We missed it but two of our friends got to go. 

Those big roller coasters are a pass for me. 

Edited May 1 by EtheltoTillie

[kristen111]

12 hours ago, PRgal said:

Maybe we'll go to EuroDisney or something.  Two birds with one stone.  Or Disney Hong Kong.

My daughter was at Disney again last month.  She said the Magic Kingdom was packed.  People blowing money, eating and drinking.  She had a health scare 2 years ago, which put her in a different frame of mind, so I don’t blame her.  Now, they take the two boys and go wherever they want.  Vacations were always very important to her.  I think lots of people feel that way whether they can afford it or not.

[GHScorpiosRule]

I went to Disney World when I was 12. Before Epcot. We were there for a week and it was a blast. 

My nostalgia as to my childhood is more of being grateful I was a kid when I was a kid. We got to play outside, even in the dark to see the lightning bugs (fireflies), and not have our parents hover over us.

I could go up three blocks to my grandparents' place and just walk in without having to knock.

Played football with the neighborhood boys, because of course-and not flag football, but get in your face, tackle. Until Puberty. Then my mom put her foot down and said "No more Football for you!" Because I didn't give a shit and went for the jugular and tackled with my body. The boys scoffed until they found their faces down in the grass.

That all said, my childhood was also miserable-with the bullying and getting beat up. BUT, back then, we had teachers and parents that gave a good goddamn.

I think I mentioned pages back, how my mother turned into a TIGER MAMA protecting her cub, when she learned who beat the shit out of me the last time I got my ass kicked. With my best friend, we went to her place, and I remember being scared because the girl's mother looked...mean, smoking a cigarette as she listened to my mom, demanding she (the bully's mother) LOOK at what her daughter had done to me. I thought for sure she would tell my mom to get a life, like the parents in The Brady Bunch episode, where Cindy was bullied and Peter had gotten a black eye by Buddy Hinton.

Nope. Girl's mother screamed her daughter's name to get down there, and ripped her a new one while we were all there. She never bullied me again, and a year or so later, we managed to be civil to one another. Oh, and it was a teacher who broke up the beat down and walked me home. School was four blocks away.

[bluegirl147]

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

My nostalgia as to my childhood is more of being grateful I was a kid when I was a kid. We got to play outside, even in the dark to see the lightning bugs (fireflies), and not have our parents hover over us.

Same. And I would add no social media. My 11 year old granddaughter was discovered to have a Tik Tok account and she had taken some concerning pics. She swears she didn't do anything with pics but it's scary she took them.  She now has parental controls on her phone.  And did I mention she is 11.

[kristen111]

I’m remembering all the places my husband and I went to in the days gone by.  Either in a plane or mostly by car.  All over the U.S.  Now, every morning we decide what grocery store we will go to, and what we will make for dinner.  Can’t drive to Florida anymore .. too much of a hassle, and dangerous at this point.  Oh well.  Thank God for t.v. and my computer.  Oh, and what doctor appointment we have, lol.

[shapeshifter]

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

I think I mentioned pages back, how my mother turned into a TIGER MAMA protecting her cub, when she learned who beat the shit out of me the last time I got my ass kicked. With my best friend, we went to her place, and I remember being scared because the girl's mother looked...mean, smoking a cigarette as she listened to my mom, demanding she (the bully's mother) LOOK at what her daughter had done to me. I thought for sure she would tell my mom to get a life, like the parents in The Brady Bunch episode, where Cindy was bullied and Peter had gotten a black eye by Buddy Hinton.

Nope. Girl's mother screamed her daughter's name to get down there, and ripped her a new one while we were all there. She never bullied me again, and a year or so later, we managed to be civil to one another. Oh, and it was a teacher who broke up the beat down and walked me home. School was four blocks away.

Sounds like the bully was herself a victim of trauma in the home. 
Although social media exposes children to horrible stuff, at least they are less likely to be physically harmed by other children when none of them are supervised. 

[Dimity]

 Just had a heated discussion with my sister in law who is supporting this month long boycott that some have organized against a major grocery store chain here.  I don't disagree that there is a big problem but her rationale had me shaking my head.  Yes, of course, the stores can control (to some extent) the prices they set but no they aren't the one's responsible for product "shrinkage".  The salad dressing that used to be 475 ml and is now 425 ml but priced the same is an issue you need to be raising with the manufacturer not the store selling it otherwise you need to be boycotting all the stores, not just one!

[GHScorpiosRule]

43 minutes ago, shapeshifter said:

Sounds like the bully was herself a victim of trauma in the home. 
Although social media exposes children to horrible stuff, at least they are less likely to be physically harmed by other children when none of them are supervised. 

Yeah, well, I'm not as charitable. Not all bullies are "victims of trauma" in my opinion.

[ABay]

@GHScorpiosRule, I'm envious (for me but happy for you) that you had adults around who actually cared enough to do something other than blame you for the situation in some way.

[kristen111]

2 minutes ago, ABay said:

@GHScorpiosRule, I'm envious (for me but happy for you) that you had adults around who actually cared enough to do something other than blame you for the situation in some way.

YES.  My mother worked full time.  I always had to figure out things by myself.

[RealHousewife]

1 hour ago, bluegirl147 said:

Same. And I would add no social media. My 11 year old granddaughter was discovered to have a Tik Tok account and she had taken some concerning pics. She swears she didn't do anything with pics but it's scary she took them.  She now has parental controls on her phone.  And did I mention she is 11.

Modern technology is amazing yet so dangerous. If I had kids, they’d hate me because I would be very strict with devices and social media. I know stuff happens even when parents are doing their best to monitor and protect. 

[GHScorpiosRule]

41 minutes ago, ABay said:

@GHScorpiosRule, I'm envious (for me but happy for you) that you had adults around who actually cared enough to do something other than blame you for the situation in some way.

Thanks. And my crime? My race/ethnicity. In this particular instance? I refused to join in with the bully who offered to be the spotter for gymnastics, where she didn't know what she was doing and I didn't relish hitting my head on the ground or pole. And said I didn't feel like it. She then threatened to kick my ass, repeatedly. Her cronies were egging me on to "DO IT!" They finally cornered me, outside-in the rain-and I had no defense; didn't know how to fight or defend myself (then). A teacher saw what was happening and put a quick end to it.

Alas, my dad was on my way to pick me up because of the rain, but was running late. What a difference 10 minutes made. And he was just as furious when he saw my face.

And both my parents worked full-time. But the thing was, back then (70s/early 80s), parents could talk and deal with each other; we kids were held accountable for whatever unacceptable stuff we did. I have always maintained that I lucked out on the teachers I had from elementary through college.

And I lived in a rough neighborhood. It's a miracle I didn't turn into a gun-wielding mass shooting monster.

[JustHereForFood]

A lot of bullies are also victims of bullying. That doesn't absolve them of their responsibility .

1 hour ago, RealHousewife said:

Modern technology is amazing yet so dangerous. If I had kids, they’d hate me because I would be very strict with devices and social media. I know stuff happens even when parents are doing their best to monitor and protect. 

Some countries are now talking about banning smartphones for children under certain age. I think I've seen ages 13 and 11 mentioned so far. I don't usually weigh in, as I have no children, but I think some regulation is necessary. Obviously they need phones - I was a teenager when mobile phones started to be used by everyone and until I got my first one, we always had a pay-phone at school, so I could call my mom at work if I was going to a friend's house after school. I don't know if schools still have those. And parents are probably already used to their children having phone at all times. But the access to internet is a different thing. I am not for censorship in general, but children and teenagers having access to everything including social media can be dangerous. There are a lot of predators and even parents with best intentions can't keep track of everything. The idea of parents monitoring everything their children watch on internet doesn't sit well with me either. There has to be some solution that lets children access the info or community they need without total supervision, but still keeps them from getting harmed. I don't envy the people who need to sort this out.

[Ohiopirate02]

21 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

A lot of bullies are also victims of bullying. That doesn't absolve them of their responsibility .

Some countries are now talking about banning smartphones for children under certain age. I think I've seen ages 13 and 11 mentioned so far. I don't usually weigh in, as I have no children, but I think some regulation is necessary. Obviously they need phones - I was a teenager when mobile phones started to be used by everyone and until I got my first one, we always had a pay-phone at school, so I could call my mom at work if I was going to a friend's house after school. I don't know if schools still have those. And parents are probably already used to their children having phone at all times. But the access to internet is a different thing. I am not for censorship in general, but children and teenagers having access to everything including social media can be dangerous. There are a lot of predators and even parents with best intentions can't keep track of everything. The idea of parents monitoring everything their children watch on internet doesn't sit well with me either. There has to be some solution that lets children access the info or community they need without total supervision, but still keeps them from getting harmed. I don't envy the people who need to sort this out.

It's not the predators parents really need to worry about, it's the algorithms used by various platforms that push content onto unsuspecting kids.  The YouTube algorithm is downright scary in how quickly it will start to show young men and boys Red Pill content.  Parents have to be hypervigilant when it comes to allowing their children to watch any YouTube videos.  Auto-play has to be disabled at a minimum.  The worst part of all of this is that YouTube as a company is aware of this, they just don't see it as a problem that needs to be addressed.  The Andrew Tates of the world fatten up their bottom line so they look the other way.  I firmly believe that social media platforms need to be regulated like utilities and not be publicly traded companies.  

[peacheslatour]

31 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

A lot of bullies are also victims of bullying. That doesn't absolve them of their responsibility .

Some countries are now talking about banning smartphones for children under certain age. I think I've seen ages 13 and 11 mentioned so far. I don't usually weigh in, as I have no children, but I think some regulation is necessary. Obviously they need phones - I was a teenager when mobile phones started to be used by everyone and until I got my first one, we always had a pay-phone at school, so I could call my mom at work if I was going to a friend's house after school. I don't know if schools still have those. And parents are probably already used to their children having phone at all times. But the access to internet is a different thing. I am not for censorship in general, but children and teenagers having access to everything including social media can be dangerous. There are a lot of predators and even parents with best intentions can't keep track of everything. The idea of parents monitoring everything their children watch on internet doesn't sit well with me either. There has to be some solution that lets children access the info or community they need without total supervision, but still keeps them from getting harmed. I don't envy the people who need to sort this out.

How about mobile phones that are just, now hear me out - phones?

[JustHereForFood]

5 minutes ago, peacheslatour said:

How about mobile phones that are just, now hear me out - phones?

Yes. (I still have one)

But they will still have access to internet on computers.

[Bastet]

5 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Sounds like the bully was herself a victim of trauma in the home. 

She very well could have been, as it's often turning around and doing to someone less powerful what someone more powerful has done/is doing to you, but on the other hand she may not have; I don't think getting your ass verbally handed to you by a parent for doing something awful automatically means you're also getting chewed out when you shouldn't be, or worse.

3 hours ago, RealHousewife said:

Modern technology is amazing yet so dangerous. If I had kids, they’d hate me because I would be very strict with devices and social media. I know stuff happens even when parents are doing their best to monitor and protect. 

Like me, most of my friends opted not to parent, but of course we have friends and co-workers with kids so we hear a lot about this.  The parents are in constant struggle and discussion about what access to give, at what age, how to supervise without snooping, etc. and we child-free folks all talk about how we are so glad we don't have to navigate those waters (and how very, very glad we are phones with cameras and social media did not exist when we were teenagers).

Edited May 1 by Bastet

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Thanks. And my crime? My race/ethnicity. In this particular instance? I refused to join in with the bully who offered to be the spotter for gymnastics, where she didn't know what she was doing and I didn't relish hitting my head on the ground or pole. And said I didn't feel like it. She then threatened to kick my ass, repeatedly. Her cronies were egging me on to "DO IT!" They finally cornered me, outside-in the rain-and I had no defense; didn't know how to fight or defend myself (then). A teacher saw what was happening and put a quick end to it.

Alas, my dad was on my way to pick me up because of the rain, but was running late. What a difference 10 minutes made. And he was just as furious when he saw my face.

And both my parents worked full-time. But the thing was, back then (70s/early 80s), parents could talk and deal with each other; we kids were held accountable for whatever unacceptable stuff we did. I have always maintained that I lucked out on the teachers I had from elementary through college.

And I lived in a rough neighborhood. It's a miracle I didn't turn into a gun-wielding mass shooting monster.

Good for you.  You had a mind of your own and turned out pretty wonderful imo. 

[Mountainair]

Just to touch on the Disney stories- my grandparents took me when I was a kid in the 90’s. I went with my marching band in 2000. We took our two kids when they were out of stroller age in 2016 (my daughter had just been born and I didn’t want to deal with a stroller so she stayed home with Grandparents. I’m not generally a huge fan of lines or fast rides or heat or the amount of planning Disney takes. My mother in law was diagnosed two years ago with heart failure and it was her dying wish to take the family to Disney. We never thought she was dying. She was 65. So this past Christmas she paid for all 15 of us to go to Disney. It was my daughter’s first time as well as a few others. We had a lovely time and she passed away 3 weeks ago. Unexpectedly. Which leads me to… technology. 
 

Two days after she passed away my 14 year old son was ambushed at school. I work at the school but was home on bereavement planning her funeral. Some kids lured him into the classroom and this other kid beat the snot out of him. I honestly can’t believe my son didn’t fight back but Grandma was his favorite person in the world (slept over there twice a week, talked every day) some kid set up their phone to record the whole thing before he even got in the classroom. Three weeks later and kids at school are still getting sent the video. I could press charges but I know the kid involved, he’s got a crappy home life and I just don’t know how much that would help him. He used to be friends with my son but things turned sour. He has spent the night at my house and we’ve had him over for parties, etc. my son was sent home on concussion protocol and the other kid was expelled. But it bothers me that this video is still being sent around. I hate raising kids in this age of technology. 

Edited May 1 by Mountainair

[PRgal]

They recently issued guidelines on phone use in schools in my province which will come into effect in September.  Many schools already have such rules, but these are going to be clear and province-wide.  Basically, no phones for elementary and no usage during class (it's rude, anyway.  We need to start teaching children good manners again) for middle and high school kids.  Hopefully, this will teach kids some respect.  Unless rules change, my son will likely get a "dumb phone" when he turns 12.  If he wants to text, he can do so on a tablet or laptop when he's home.  Students at his school use Chromebooks from Grade 2 onwards (his school is kindergarten to Grade 12).

[shapeshifter]

26 minutes ago, Mountainair said:

I could press charges but I know the kid involved, he’s got a crappy home life and I just don’t know how much that would help him. He used to be friends with my son but things turned sour. He has spent the night at my house and we’ve had him over for parties, etc. my son was sent home on concussion protocol and the other kid was expelled. But it bothers me that this video is still being sent around. I hate raising kids in this age of technology. 

Do you know if the aggressor kid(s) are getting required anger management or other interventional therapies to prevent them from hurting others?  
Passing around the video rewards them for violent behavior.
Sharing such a video is illegal in California and some other states. 

I am so sorry your son had a concussion.
When family traumas pile up like this, it is not possible to do everything yourself.
I hope you have helpful family members.

[ECM1231]

@Mountainair, my condolences on the loss of your mother-in-law. That was a very generous gift that she gave to your family.

And your son's beat down? I can't even imagine. You may feel a bit for the perpetrator, but an assault is an assault and I'd press charges.  I hope the student was at the very least, suspended. 

[isalicat]

7 hours ago, shapeshifter said:

Although social media exposes children to horrible stuff, at least they are less likely to be physically harmed by other children when none of them are supervised. 

Uh no....I respectfully and entirely disagree! First of all, social media encourages on line bullying, which is far more harmful than physical bullying, since it never stops (it follows the bullied kid home from school, so they never have a break or safe place - thus the spate of adolescent suicides), and social media also teaches bullies new ways to torment their victims they would have never thought of on their own. I am convinced, from my own experience as a parent and from observation, that giving smart phones or any access to the internet for those under 10 should be considered child abuse, and for those over 10 it should be very, very strictly monitored and limited to educational needs only until the kid is 18 (or off to college, whichever comes first). Worked with my son, who was physically bullied in middle school but at least spared the other stuff.

[JustHereForFood]

28 minutes ago, isalicat said:

Uh no....I respectfully and entirely disagree! First of all, social media encourages on line bullying, which is far more harmful than physical bullying, since it never stops (it follows the bullied kid home from school, so they never have a break or safe place - thus the spate of adolescent suicides), and social media also teaches bullies new ways to torment their victims they would have never thought of on their own. I am convinced, from my own experience as a parent and from observation, that giving smart phones or any access to the internet for those under 10 should be considered child abuse, and for those over 10 it should be very, very strictly monitored and limited to educational needs only until the kid is 18 (or off to college, whichever comes first). Worked with my son, who was physically bullied in middle school but at least spared the other stuff.

I agree but I wouldn't say that mental bullying is worse than physical bullying. The victims can respond differently to different types of bullying and think they would "prefer" the other type, but physical violence is not just physical but also mental.

[Anela]

32 minutes ago, JustHereForFood said:

I agree but I wouldn't say that mental bullying is worse than physical bullying. The victims can respond differently to different types of bullying and think they would "prefer" the other type, but physical violence is not just physical but also mental.

I've dealt with both, and I agree. 

I've had a lot swirling in my mind, and it's there a lot, because of what I dealt with. It affects everything else. In school, I was mostly verbally/mentally bullied, and I dropped out, rather than hurting myself. My mum let me drop out when she realized the school wasn't going to do anything. But I also dealt with it from my sister, as a kid at times, and then as an adult.

I was agoraphobic, because of what I experienced at school. It affected my ability to relax and trust most people, for the rest of my life. Even though I had some good friends that I'm still in touch with. And then what I dealt with as an adult, cemented that. Just as I'd been making important changes. And that happened to me, because of a man who sexually harassed me, and a woman who thought he was the better choice. I'm so tired of women being punished for not wanting to be around terrible men. I mentioned something else recently, that was the beginning of my PTSD. Then school bullying followed, once I got glasses, and I was always the new kid. It's so stupid! But it happens. 

Edited May 1 by Anela

[kristen111]

On 4/30/2024 at 4:06 PM, kristen111 said:

 

Edited May 2 by kristen111
N.M.

[Yeah No]

On 4/30/2024 at 11:12 AM, GHScorpiosRule said:

Another First World Problem, but I wanted to reach out and thank @Yeah No-I tried Toppik again and this time, not using the stupid baster (apparently, that only works on the huge bottle and not the small one), and it actually works! Also got the spray to "lock it in" so if my fingers touch the crown of my forehead, they won't come away smudgy. It's not as good as my real hair, but looks passable enough I don't see my scalp between the hair that hasn't grown back post-chemo.

The only problem I see is having to wash my hair every time I use it, because I don't want it messing my bedsheets. So have decided to only use it when I REALLYYY need to-like  today at work in the office and on Saturday, when I get my updated picture for my driver's license-yeah, I've postponed, and rescheduled for the past two months because I've been too lazy/tired to go. But definitely going on Saturday.

I hate (and this should go in peeves) that we can no longer just walk in at the MVA here in MD. We have to make stupid appointments.

You're welcome!  Maybe you can use a satin sleeping cap?  It looks like a shower cap except it's made of a satiny material.

I hear you about the appointments at the DMV.  It's the same here in CT.

[Yeah No]

On 4/30/2024 at 5:57 PM, Browncoat said:

We first went to DisneyWorld during Spring Break in 1972.  It was very low cost (maybe free?) to get in, but then you had to buy ticket books to ride the rides.  There were several different books, and they contained different combinations of rides.  So, if you wanted to go to the Haunted Mansion and the teacups, you might need two books.  It was a lot of work to figure out the right books for the rides you wanted!  At that time, we stayed in Daytona and drove over for the day.

I went To Disney World for the first time in the Summer of 1972 with my teen travel camp.  I was 14 and it was pretty awesome for me at that age.  I went back in 1975 with my parents and again a couple of times with my husband.  I haven't been there in 30 years!  While I thoroughly enjoyed it when I was young I have to say I don't feel the need to go back at this age and that's OK.  I had great times there.

My husband and I went to Florida last Fall for the first time since then to visit friends in Sarasota.  We flew down for the first time.  It was an awesome trip because we'd never seen the West coast of Florida and the Gulf of Mexico.  It was just beautiful and our friends gave us the most awesome time.  They have a huge mansion and we had our own wing.  It was amazing, I'd never seen such luxury and wealth.  After 3 years of feeling cooped up because of Covid it was just what I needed.  I am ambivalent about Florida in general.  I love to visit but I wouldn't want to live there.  I have relatives on both sides of my family there too.  

[Yeah No]

On 4/30/2024 at 7:30 PM, kristen111 said:

Daughter just said tomorrow price for an adult at Magic Kingdom is $145.  End of May, goes up to $155.  Ridiculous.  I’d rather go on a European cruise from Italy to Greece like so many are going lately.

I am going on my first cruise this Summer with my husband to Halifax.  I am still a little worried about motion sickness because I am too sensitive to all the drugs but I can't pass up a trip on the QM2.  I'll just have to load up on ginger tablets and anti-nausea bracelets.  Cruising is great bang for the buck and the experience of being on the ship with all the entertainment is like being at a huge resort.  I am really hoping it works out for me.  

15 hours ago, kristen111 said:

My daughter was at Disney again last month.  She said the Magic Kingdom was packed.  People blowing money, eating and drinking.  She had a health scare 2 years ago, which put her in a different frame of mind, so I don’t blame her.  Now, they take the two boys and go wherever they want.  Vacations were always very important to her.  I think lots of people feel that way whether they can afford it or not.

My family always put a priority on travel and I'm glad they did.  I got to see a lot of the country and Canada before I was 20.  We didn't have much money but my mother was great at budgeting and we stayed at all the cheap motels, LOL.  And she worked full time so we could afford stuff like that back when most moms stayed home.

We took a cross country road trip in 1973 in our brand new Buick Skylark.  It was amazing and I'll never forget it.  This country is so huge and back then it was so unpopulated compared to today.

[Yeah No]

14 hours ago, GHScorpiosRule said:

Yeah, well, I'm not as charitable. Not all bullies are "victims of trauma" in my opinion.

I agree with you.  Most of my bullies were entitled narcissists.  Were they given mixed messages in childhood?  For sure, but as far as being "victims of trauma"?  Yeah, no.

7 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

I agree but I wouldn't say that mental bullying is worse than physical bullying. The victims can respond differently to different types of bullying and think they would "prefer" the other type, but physical violence is not just physical but also mental.

I've dealt with both and I actually think mental bullying is worse.  Usually physical bullying is less frequent especially if we're talking kids bullying other kids.  Unlike mental bullying it doesn't follow you around everywhere you go (and online like it can today).  It has to take place face-to-face.  So there's less opportunity to commit it.  Plus, usually physical bullying is what I would consider a lesser form of mental abuse than true mental bullying.  It exists on a more basic emotional level.  It doesn't seek to destroy you completely little by little every day of your life unless the person is out to murder you. 

Mental bullying can be a reign of terror from which there is no escape that seeks to absolutely crush and annihilate you, not just give you a black eye and steal your lunch money.  It messes with your self esteem and makes you feel absolutely worthless.  The emotional cuts can be deeper than with physical bullying too.  When I have been on the receiving end of physical bullying usually the bullies were not operating on that deep a level.  It would be hard to sustain physical bullying that was that relentless and emotionally crippling unless it were in the context of an abusive domestic relationship.

Also, mental bullying can be committed by adults too.  You don't see many adults physically bullying other adults in the same way as kids do.  But there are many toxic adult mental bullies online and in person and I have been on the receiving end of them too in years past.  And in many situations they are much harder to get away from than physical bullies because they can exist in your workplace, your organizations, your social groups and operate under the radar.  Physical bullying is a lot harder to hide.

Edited May 2 by Yeah No