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S04.E02: Can't Have Your Cake and Eat It Too


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Tammy's seemingly good progress inspires Amy to visit, reuniting the siblings for the first time in months; Amanda begins a new chapter in her life; Amy learns she's at risk of serious complications if she doesn't get her eating under control

Original air date 2023.01.24

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Did I hear correctly that Tammy gained ten pounds?  

And did I miss the justification for them bringing in barbecue when they visited Tammy?  She can’t have any sort of barbecue.  

What the hell is wrong with these people?
 

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I was under the impression that the rehab center was also to help Tamy loose weight via controlled diet so color me shocked when they offered her lasagna and breadsticks as a meal option. Then here comes the family with a whole buffet. The cauliflower rice and turkey sausages don’t mean anything when you cover everything in sugar laden barbecue sauce and wash it down with broccoli casserole. 
 

Amy is really lather, rinse, repeat. Did anyone catch her saying Gage likes “peach tea”? So they’re already introducing him to sugar laden drinks. 
 

The best part of the episode was Amanda and Misty’s adventures at the gym. I cracked up when they stumbled up on that work out class and Amanda asked if they were supposed to be naked and Misty wondering where all the big people were. 

Edited by WhitneyWhit
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Tammy was so damn rude to the therapist.  She should not be approved for surgery with that surly attitude.  She has the maturity of a four-year-old.  
 

I think when Chris described the BBQ as healthy he meant compared to their usual.  I don’t think cheese and sausage and pork is anyone’s idea of a lean meal.  

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2 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

I think when Chris described the BBQ as healthy he meant compared to their usual.  I don’t think cheese and sausage and pork is anyone’s idea of a lean meal.  

I don't think anyone in this family has any real idea what healthy eating is. To them eating healthy is only having a double cheeseburger instead of a triple one.

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Thank the stars that the next baby is also a boy.   Amy has no business raising a girl.   She hasn’t been able to control her eating and it would be so sad to see a mini obese Amy following in her mother’s footsteps.  

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I watch the show enough to keep up, still hoping for a healthy outcome for Tammy and Amy. What I can't get over with Amy is how arrogant and condescending she is when talking about Tammy. Amy is always criticizing Tammy's eating habits (look in the mirror), she is just lucky she hasn't had the health consequences Tammy has. She acted like she really didn't want to go and see Tammy at the rehab center. If Tammy has the surgery and loses weight, I wonder how Amy will react.   Amy is ignorant and some of her mouthiness is scripted, but I can't stand her. She goes on and on about being a mother (how many times does she say Gage in an episode, he is soooooo cute though) and how busy she is. Her house is filthy and she isn't watching her diet. Did she say she weighs 270 when she was at the doctor's over eating crackers? Her disappointment in finding out the new baby is a boy makes me think she will be stupid enough to risk another pregnancy hoping for a girl next time. Does Michael work now?

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7 hours ago, WhitneyWhit said:

Did anyone catch her saying Gage likes “peach tea”? So they’re already introducing him to sugar laden drinks. 

I caught that too. The kid is already chubby. Unfortunately, his future seems to be clear.

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I predict Gage’s baby teeth will have cavities.  How could they not?

He is quite a beautiful boy but my guess is that the peach tea Amy mentioned is filled with sugar. 

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What on earth was Amy wearing to the doctor's appointment?  At first I thought it was a swimming suit.

I'd rather watch Chris, Amanda, and Misty than Amy and Tammy.  I'm rooting for Chris.

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10 hours ago, WhitneyWhit said:

I was under the impression that the rehab center was also to help Tamy loose weight via controlled diet so color me shocked when they offered her lasagna and breadsticks as a meal option. 

You would think so, right?? I remember from one of the shows (600 lb life maybe) that the rehabs cannot stop a patient from ordering out. I have no idea if that is true. 

Also, I got the impression that this place offered various types of food, trying to make the patient responsible for learning to choose the healthiest options. It's seems everyone can lose weight on a controlled diet, but most gain the weight right back when they are in control of their own diet.

I also think that eating healthy and eating less to lose weight are not the same thing. If you eat too much healthy food, you are not going to lose weight.

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Has Amy spoke about her diabetes? I watch but sometimes not really paying attention. It may be gestational but I do not think Continuous Glucose Monitors are easy to get or affordable for someone without a Diabetes diagnosis. I spotted the Freestyle Libre on her arm during the doctor visit last evening. I have LADA and have been wearing one for 6 years so I notice. If so her diet is doing even more damage.

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My interpretation was that Chris made the broccoli cheddar casserole with cauliflower rice instead of regular rice. The links looked like Johnsonvilles which have pretty good stats except they are salty - I've had them, they're not bad. Even Sweet Baby Ray has a no sugar added barbecue sauce and I like that also. Chris is probably the last one who would risk derailing Tammy's efforts with a cheat meal and I really liked that he did a healthier version of the barbecue they used to have. It was a high protein, low carbohydrate meal, even though I'm sure there was a lot of sodium. That was kind of him to do something special.

Amy really got on my nerves this episode. She just becomes more and more unlikable. The bit about Gage (who is just adorable) drinking peach tea really pissed me off. Those things have almost as much sugar as a soda (or sodie as it were). Unless Amy gets her nutrition sorted out that kid doesn't stand a chance. Poor thing. The swimming pool scene was adorable. He's such a pleasant baby.

Tammy actually seemed sincere, although I don't really understand the rehab situation unless it is as LilysMom said and they have to learn to make their own choices. I was encouraged to see that Tammy chose just the hot dog, presumably without the roll. The resident friend who has been there for 7 years...what? That seems strange to me. I actually wonder if that place is assisted living and not necessarily rehab for overeaters. I didn't catch the name - maybe someone can look it up for us. 

I don't think the therapist is the right fit for Tammy - she's a slender, attractive and sophisticated woman with nice clothes and jewelry, and I don't think Tammy is making a very effective connection with her. When Tammy realized she had gained ten pounds, her perception of the defeat was awful. One of the hardest things she's going to have to learn is how to rebound from setbacks.

Amanda looks like she's lost weight already - she's looking good. Unfortunately she's one of those women with a large bust and it makes her appear so much heavier than she actually is. She must be really tall because I would never put her at almost 300 pounds. I would also much rather watch a show about Amanda, Chris/Brittany and Misty than the sh*tshow that is Amy. If Tammy keeps going and keeps working on herself, I'd like to see that too. Wouldn't it be something if she could really make a life for herself. I definitely think she's bright and has a sharp mind. She has the potential. 

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24 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

I don't think the therapist is the right fit for Tammy - she's a slender, attractive and sophisticated woman with nice clothes and jewelry, and I don't think Tammy is making a very effective connection with her. When Tammy realized she had gained ten pounds, her perception of the defeat was awful. One of the hardest things she's going to have to learn is how to rebound from setbacks.

Very astute observation RedDelicious.  I myself sometimes am unnerved and feel inferior when around a really attractive, well put together person like the therapist.  I find it easier to converse with more 'down to earth' folks and I bet Tammy is intimidated by her, although at least the therapist seems kind and is trying.  I really like the change in Tammy this season and was so disappointed by her setback.  I was impressed that she actually has the ability to choose bad foods and access to fast food and has seemingly been choosing well, or at least much better.  I love seeing Tammy light up when Gage is around.  I have always found that Tammy seems much more intelligent than Amy.  Amy definitely likes to be the 'skinny' one out of the 2 sisters.

If I have the family tree correct, I think Darlene has had children from 3 different men.

Misty - I think Darlene had her young and was not married at the time

Chris & Amanda - I believe they are full siblings and their father is a Combs

Tammy & Amy - they are full siblings and their father was a Slaton.  I think there is a Slaton brother (Steven?) that we have not seen on the show.

I have also noticed that Misty, Chris and Amanda are more well spoken and normal-seeming than Tammy and Amy.  I wonder what the different fathers were like.  

Edited by Joan van Snark
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@RedDelicious I believe Amanda is 5'9. I was sad to hear that she had the gastric bypass and gained so much weight back. If she couldve just maintained around 200lbs that wouldve been an amazing quality of life change for her. I can believe the stress of her divorce led to over eating, it just shows you that the surgery is just a tool. If you dont use it consistently and make the other changes within yourself, the weight does come back. 

27 minutes ago, RedDelicious said:

The resident friend who has been there for 7 years...what? That seems strange to me. I actually wonder if that place is assisted living and not necessarily rehab for overeaters. I didn't catch the name - maybe someone can look it up for us. 

I think the location is a bariatric rehab facility and assisted living combined. It might have been the only facility in the area that could take someone Tammy's/a similar sized persons , size. If you require assisted living and you are super morbidly obese, I assume your options are limited, but that there are rehab facilities to for people who do eventually go home. 

I can believe Tammy missed her family. She did look SO HAPPY to see Gage. She has been there for MONTHS and that is no fun. Everyone prefers to be home in their own environment. I know it's the best place for her, perhaps this is the wake up call she needs to put in the work so she doesnt have to go back to rehab. 

7 minutes ago, Joan van Snark said:

I have always found that Tammy seems much more intelligent than Amy.  Amy definitely likes to be the 'skinny' one out of the 2 sisters.

I think Tammy probably has a higher IQ but she is deeper into the food addiction and more dysfunctional. Amy just did what she had to do to get pregnant, I don't think she really wanted to lose much weight, she just wanted to be a bit more mobile and get the family she wanted, but like what happened with Amanda (and Misty I think), she should know that the weight WILL come back if she doesn't change her habits. I do think it's easy for Amy not to look at herself when she is always "in a better position" compared to her little sister, its not a healthy dynamic. 

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8 hours ago, Abmis said:

I'd rather watch Chris, Amanda, and Misty than Amy and Tammy.  I'm rooting for Chris.

I was rather surprised that Amanda said that she had already had gastric bypass. Isn't that unfortunate that she would've gained all that weight back?

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Amy is a hypocrite, I think she does love Tammy but as long as Tammy is doing worse she can point the finger at her as a way of letting others know things could be much worse. She is better than Tammy, let's pile on Tammy and ignore me. I agree that Tammy is nasty but Amy is so hypocritical. In many ways she is worse, she is supposed to be getting healthy not just for her own sake but for these children she insisted on bringing into the world. Gage might be a healthy weight now but if Amy doesn't make a change he will suffer the same fate as Amy, Tammy and all the siblings.

The baby does not need extra salt and sugar. The old "eating for two" thinking went out the window many years ago and only the ignorant carry on with the saying and giving into every craving. Of course you need to eat well and not skip meals. Of course you should allow yourself to give in to the occasional craving. I did. But cramming your face with every junk food you can get your hands on is irresponsible and bad parenting. Isn't she diabetic? She could kill herself and her baby. Where would that leave Michael and Gage? She needs a doctor to tell her she is flat out harming the baby. I cannot believe she is allowing a 2 year old to have sweet tea. Water, milk and limited amounts of juice.

As I understand it Tammy is not at a rehab center for weight loss. It's to regain mobility and to be able to breathe on her own. The patients are given a menu and can order what they want, along with being able to order takeout and have relatives bring food. Although we are seeing overweight patients I imagine there are some who are thin. I wonder if there are even rehab facilities for obese people where they can deny food requests, would that even be legal? I have seen patients on My 600 lb. life who were hospitalized and had food delivered in or brought by family. To be honest, for Tammy's size and lengthy stay her weight loss does not seem that amazing to me. She should have easily lost 200 lbs by now if she was following a strict calorie diet. I give her credit for trying but I think she is going for "getting out of this place" instead of a life change. She's probably only allowed to order 3 meals a day and I am guessing she doesn't choose the healthy diet menu. Just the fact that she cannot eat all day long is probably helping her to lose weight, but I doubt she is sticking to a low 1500 calorie a day menu. Even if she can only get 2500 calories a day off off the menu it's better than the probably 8000 she was eating at home to be over 700lbs. I imagine she realizes if she goes home no one in the family is going to provide daily care and feeding. One thing that is good is that Amy will not be next door to provide daily crap meals, pretending she was forced into it while all the while eating the same crap. Amy is not smart, but every episode we see her play it up for the camera. She is given information by Doctors and pretends not to grasp what she is being told. Yes, she is dim but she knows enough to try and point away from herself and toward Tammy, or how cute Gage is and how "great" her life is. She brought life into this world and should be doing everything she can to stick around until her child no longer needs her. At the rate they are going I predict neither sister lives to see 50.

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11 hours ago, lilysmom said:

I also think that eating healthy and eating less to lose weight are not the same thing. If you eat too much healthy food, you are not going to lose weight

 

Yea....I was thinking.  Even if Tammy is eating lasagna, if it's just one serving of lasagne,   she'd still lose weight compared to what she was eating on her own.   It's not always about how "bad" a food is,   but how much you're eating of that food.  I personally have that issue myself.   My servings are too large.  But if I eat 10 chips as opposed to half a bag,  I'd be losing weight.   I get chips aren't healthy,  but if it's mixed with nutritional food in a reasonable portion,  it's ok....IMO.   

 

 

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On 1/24/2023 at 2:05 PM, chenoa333 said:

Agree 100%. Amy will keep getting pregnant hoping for a mini-Amy and hoping for another season of TLC paychecks. 

What is your diet like?  Once it was said it is a boy, I was oh no, she is going to try again.

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5 minutes ago, nokat said:

What is your diet like?  Once it was said it is a boy, I was oh no, she is going to try again.

Amy sure didn't look happy when they told her it was another boy.  Made me kinda uncomfortable.    I have 2 , grown up, boys also and I wonder what having a girl would have been like but no way was I ever disappointed.

I think Amy will end up pregnant again,  probably by "accident"  🙄

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12 hours ago, Abmis said:

What on earth was Amy wearing to the doctor's appointment?  At first I thought it was a swimming suit.

I'd rather watch Chris, Amanda, and Misty than Amy and Tammy.  I'm rooting for Chris.

I do too. I hope they lean the show to Amanda and other family members. I like when they are just having fun together. Then Amy will say if only Tammy was here. 

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Just now, suev3333 said:

I have 2 , grown up, boys also and I wonder what having a girl would have been like but no way was I ever disappointed

Absolutely! Why not just be thankful and happy that your baby is born healthy? People are so f'd up these days!

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8 hours ago, RedDelicious said: I actually wonder if that place is assisted living and not necessarily rehab for overeaters. I didn't catch the name - maybe someone can look it up for us. 

Watching now so I can answer. The name of the facility is Windsor Lane. This info from their website: 

“Windsor Lane Health Care is the nation’s only resource to specialize in skilled bariatric vent care and weight loss program for patients up to 1000lb.

Our Bariatric Skilled Care includes a voluntary weight loss program and support system designed to help our patients meet their weight loss goals by learning how to manage their personal dietary balance needs, exercise, therapy and gaining knowledge to assist them in successfully returning home.”

Tammy had said she was “in charge of her diet” so it appears that learning to choose healthy foods is part of the process. She did ask for just a hot dog without the roll. 

8 hours ago, Joan van Snark said:

I have also noticed that Misty, Chris and Amanda are more well spoken and normal-seeming than Tammy and Amy.

I recall last season when Tammy was on the brink of death and Darlene was crying, she mentioned that Tammy was her only child to have graduated high school with honors. 

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The therapist, Dr. Connie Stapleton, was the same woman Amy and Tammy went to when they were both Dr. Proctor’s patients. Tammy was resistant to the process then and I remember thinking she couldn’t really relate to the thin, well put together therapist. She went with the attitude she didn’t need therapy and was sullen and barely spoke during the session. 
Dr. Stapleton appears to be Dr. Proctor’s go-to therapist as she’s recently been shown on “1,000 Lb. Best Friends” too. 

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3 hours ago, suev3333 said:

Amy sure didn't look happy when they told her it was another boy.  Made me kinda uncomfortable.    I have 2 , grown up, boys also and I wonder what having a girl would have been like but no way was I ever disappointed.

I think Amy will end up pregnant again,  probably by "accident"  🙄

And there's no guarantee her third child would be a girl.  If she has a third boy, will she try for a another?  And another?  I do hope she was telling the truth when she said she's getting her tubes tied.    

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12 hours ago, chenoa333 said:

Absolutely! Why not just be thankful and happy that your baby is born healthy? People are so f'd up these days!

And this is on film. Imagine if her son sees this one day. He will feel like a disappointment.

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Maybe the doctor shouldn’t have asked Amy what she was hoping for BEFORE the ultrasound. The automatic response is usually “just a healthy baby” even if you’re really wanting a certain gender. 

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13 hours ago, magemaud said:

for patients up to 1000lb.

Can you be over that and still be alive?  Tammy was 717 I can’t imagine 1000.

13 hours ago, magemaud said:

She did ask for just a hot dog without the roll. 

That exchange was being filmed.  Wonder about all the other meals.

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30 minutes ago, MrBuhBye said:

That exchange was being filmed.  Wonder about all the other meals.

Knowing the camera was rolling, she could have asked for a salad AGAIN if she really wanted to look compliant. My guess is that the food there is prepared with the residents' dietary needs in mind, like maybe the lasagna was a lower calorie "Lean Cuisine" version with a smallish portion or it was not a real, fat and sodium laden hot dog but some kind of healthier version. 

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16 hours ago, chenoa333 said:

Absolutely! Why not just be thankful and happy that your baby is born healthy? People are so f'd up these days!

10 Fingers and 10 Toes was all I wanted- a healthy baby.

Not only is Amy feeding Gage crap, but he's too little to be front-facing in his car seat. 

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I wonder if at Tammy's rehab they are only allowed to order 3 meals? I have spent a couple of weeks in  hospital where meals were served only 3 times a day. I was allowed to order cookies or cake for dessert and set them aside for later. I was not there for a weight problem, I was in fact underweight. Knowing now that Windsor is in fact for overweight people I imagine even their "fattening" foods are somewhat healthy,  It would be odd if they were not. In Tammy's case control is the key, at home she ate crap all day. At least at Windsor she is limited to only their offerings. I understand they want the residents to make their own choices, they are putting in all this work in the hopes that when the patient is released they have changed their habits.

As far as Amy hoping for a girl, I do not blame her, many people hope for one of each. The problem is mature, intelligent parents understand it truly doesn't matter in the end. It's OK to wish but it' never OK to be sad at the results publicly in this day and age, with a camera on you! Healthy is all that matters. Amy is not mature. I once worked with a woman that wanted a boy desperately, when the ultrasound showed it was a girl she went off the rails. She told everyone the machine was defective and made a second appointment at another facility. When it showed the same results she said her dreams were ruined but she would be OK, she would learn to deal with the results. She did not even attempt to hide how upset she was, everyone at work was horrified. I asked her privately if she shouldn't be careful so her daughter didn't eventually find out she was unwanted. She told  me she was sure no one would ever tell the child and she would grow to accept that she had a girl. I was so glad when they fired her, what an idiot. I hope Amy does not try for more kids, she seems to understand she can only afford 2. I do think Amy will love the child the same as Gage, I just wish she had not expressed publicly that she wanted a girl and appeared disappointed to learn it was a boy, it's supposed to be a private wish that you get over right away once you know you have a healthy baby.

Edited by CapeCodLuv
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1 hour ago, CapeCodLuv said:

I wonder if at Tammy's rehab they are only allowed to order 3 meals? I have spent a couple of weeks in  hospital where meals were served only 3 times a day. I was allowed to order cookies or cake for dessert and set them aside for later.

I would set aside the bananas and cookies.

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18 hours ago, magemaud said:

recall last season when Tammy was on the brink of death and Darlene was crying, she mentioned that Tammy was her only child to have graduated high school with honors. 

Actually Darlene said she was the first SLATON to graduate with honors.  Misty, Chris and Amanda are NOT Slatons.

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55 minutes ago, Joan van Snark said:

Actually Darlene said she was the first SLATON to graduate with honors.  Misty, Chris and Amanda are NOT Slatons.

thanks for the correction. It's confusing, but I read that Misty IS a full sister and they have a never mentioned brother Steven Slaton. 

Edited by magemaud
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1 hour ago, CapeCodLuv said:

I haven't heard if she still has her apartment.

On the previews for next week,

Spoiler

it looks like her apartment was broken into.  (I vaguely remember something about that unless I'm mis-remembering.  Maybe Tammy or Amy mentioned it on social media.)

 

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7 hours ago, BAForever said:

10 Fingers and 10 Toes was all I wanted- a healthy baby.

Not only is Amy feeding Gage crap, but he's too little to be front-facing in his car seat. 

Off Topic, but once my Mother found out that we were normal, the first thing she asked for was a cigarette 😁!!!  This was the 1950s!

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1 hour ago, MsVixen said:

Off Topic, but once my Mother found out that we were normal, the first thing she asked for was a cigarette 😁!!!  This was the 1950s!

My mom smoked while pregnant with my brother, my sister, and me. Also drank.  How times and medicine have changed! 

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3 hours ago, Gemma Violet said:

On the previews for next week,

  Reveal spoiler

it looks like her apartment was broken into.  (I vaguely remember something about that unless I'm mis-remembering.  Maybe Tammy or Amy mentioned it on social media.)

 

You are remembering correctly.

My question is, in the preview, whose funeral are they attending? I believe it's: 

Spoiler

Darlene's husband, their step-father, Frank Rednour, died January, 2021. 

 

Edited by magemaud
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19 hours ago, CapeCodLuv said:

I hope Amy does not try for more kids, she seems to understand she can only afford 2

I’ll bet she DOES try again, at least once, for a girl. She said she was getting her tubes tied BEFORE she got the ultrasound results, when in her mind she was convinced she was having her perfect family of a boy and a girl. 

We’ve seen her ignore her doctors’ advice about getting pregnant so soon after WLS twice now and she never demonstrates good decision making skills. Even though she claims (as all parents do) that she wants her children to have all the advantages she didn't growing up, the actual affordability of raising a family probably doesn't enter her mind. 

Edited by magemaud
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On 1/24/2023 at 11:30 PM, WhitneyWhit said:

The best part of the episode was Amanda and Misty’s adventures at the gym. I cracked up when they stumbled up on that work out class and Amanda asked if they were supposed to be naked and Misty wondering where all the big people were

Uh, how about looking at the front row?  There was a very big person right in front of the instructor.

Anybody else notice they parked in a handicapped spot at the Y?  Sure, not all handicaps are visible, etc., and handicapped people do work out at a gym, but seems to me if you go into a building to walk on the treadmill, you don't need to have the parking space closest to the door.

17 hours ago, Meowwww said:

My mom smoked while pregnant with my brother, my sister, and me. Also drank. 

Mine, too.  And I have a friend, also born in the 1950s, whose mother smoked during pregnancy specifically to keep her weight down. 

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Enjoyed Misty and Amanda at the Y. Amanda is my favorite.

Follow this show, 1000 Lb Friends, 600 Lb Life, My Big Fat Fab Life and Ruby (way back when).  One commonality is always an exercise program. I get that this is reality TV- but I really wish these people who are trying to lose weight would just start walking as their 1st exercise.  Lots of new research out recently on how less than 30 minutes a day(fairly brisk) can help health and weight stability.

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20 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

 

Anybody else notice they parked in a handicapped spot at the Y?  Sure, not all handicaps are visible, etc., and handicapped people do work out at a gym, but seems to me if you go into a building to walk on the treadmill, you don't need to have the parking space closest to the door.

 

Speaking from experience, the handicapped spots at gyms are often used by people who are recovering from knee replacement or other surgery and can't walk long distances yet but are there to use the bikes or pool.  

I don't remember noticing if the place had a pool.   They've had indoor swimming in some episodes but I don't remember where they went.

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22 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

 

Anybody else notice they parked in a handicapped spot at the Y?  Sure, not all handicaps are visible, etc., and handicapped people do work out at a gym, but seems to me if you go into a building to walk on the treadmill, you don't need to have the parking space closest to the door.

 

Yeah, they had no issues walking in.  I thought that was awful. Even if they had some knee pain, I'd always assume someone worse might need it more. 

And I agree about 'why not just go for walks?' All of these shows want the large people doing embarrassing or punishing workouts. Doing things that could cause more harm than good. Its an irresponsible thing to put out there. Just walk, increase speed and find some hills, do some light weight work. It doesn't always have to be flipping enormous tires and endless squats while some muscled drill sergeant makes you cry.

Same for the lasagna. Have a small piece with side salad. That's healthier than a hotdog. Large as Tammy is, she'll still lose weight and maybe not be so resentful and deprived, leading to binging and 'all or nothing thinking.'

Ill never understand being so angry about the sex of your baby. Its just genitals. It doesn't define their personality or who they'll grow up to be. That kid will never fully accept Amy saying 'I love you just the same' That disappointment was immediate and recorded. He'll never completely forget that. 

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2 hours ago, Abmis said:

Speaking from experience, the handicapped spots at gyms are often used by people who are recovering from knee replacement or other surgery and can't walk long distances yet but are there to use the bikes or pool. 

And those people should use the handicapped spots.  These people are not those people.

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