S14.E15: Past Lives, Open Minds

[Sycophant4Lease]

16 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Since Mark got married, he has suffered a series of loss. First, he lost his apartment, then his job and now his cat is sick. Poor guy! He must be under a tremendous amount of stress.

That Michael and Jasmina had to think about whether they have ever held hands, doesn’t bode well. 

My wife and I made the exact same comment while watching.  We came to the conclusion that the common denominator is............................................HIS WIFE.

16 hours ago, kristen111 said:

The cat was doing fine with Mark, then she comes in and wraps cat in a blanket.  Leave the guy alone already as he was having a moment with his dying cat.  She always has to interfere and do what she wants.  She would drive the devil nuts.  How many men have dumped her?

ALL of us.

[Rightside]

And yet again, another show I recorded and fast forwarded through.

It is the same old thing with these couples each week!! I had hope for Noi and Steve but she doesn't even want to live with him!

Mark and Lindsey have the same arguments each episode. One minute she is "done" and the next minute she isn't. My head is spinning.

[Mindthinkr]

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

My fantasy.  😈

Your fantasy just lightened my day tenfold and I laughed and laughed. Most grateful for the stress relief. 

[kristen111]

4 hours ago, Koalagirl said:

Lindsey smiling into the camera was the creepiest thing I’ve ever seen.  She clearly interfered with Mark’s last moments with his cat. If she wanted to be supportive she could have just sat there instead of smothering both of them.  

She wanted everyone to give her recognition.  At the After Party, she kept touching O when he was crying.  Like he cared.  She just doesn’t know when to stop.

[Auntie Anxiety]

With Lindsey talking about her mother, how her mom wasn’t cut out to stay-at-home to raise the kids, and how her mom didn’t cope well with it, I continue to support the conclusion that I jumped to after the first episode, i.e., that Lindsey’s mother is an angry, abusive alcoholic and damaged Lindsey throughout her childhood. And, Lindsey is unwittingly following in her mother’s footsteps wrt the drinking and nastiness. She probably went into nursing because she wanted to care for people, wanting to give the care she never received.

[essexjan]

18 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

I’m with Mark. Being a picky eater I hate when people are all JUST TRY IT! 

Lindsey says she doesn't want to be put in a 'mothering' role with Mark, yet she treats him like a toddler when it comes to food.

[essexjan]

I cried my eyes out during the cat scene. I've been through this several times, as many of us have, and it's always heartbreaking. I know JC has left his pawprints on Mark's heart forever. Lindsey had no right to interfere like that and that smile to the camera was just nuts.

If Mark had messed with her the way he says she does with him, prodding him, licking him, etc. and she wanted it to stop but he carried on doing it, the experts would see it as a horrible form of power-play verging on assault. Somehow she seems to get a pass on it.

Noi is very childish and her idea of living apart is ridiculous if she wants to stay married to Steve. Looking at the preview for next week, he's shelled out some moolah for that ring, if the picture of it on his laptop is anything to go by. I'm sure the 'no job' storyline is nonsense. I bet he's got a decent amount of money in the bank.

Olajuwon is a control freak. I come from a poor background and have worked hard to earn a career and a nice home, so to some extent I can understand his drive. But he has strangely old-fashioned ideas of what a woman's role is and that's just not going to work with Katina.

Jasmina is a resting-bitch-faced killjoy. Michael is so worried about saying or doing the wrong thing as she takes offence at pretty much everything. I think he is sweet and handsome, and he could do so much better than living a life of walking on eggshells.

Edited April 22, 2022 by essexjan

[Shauna]

6 hours ago, Mercolleen said:

I am so sick of hearing the word "vulnerable."

If they can even pronounce it correctly.

Don't get me started on the word frustrated.  Everybody and their mother pronounces it:  fustrated.

God, it's so frustrating!

[bref]

1 hour ago, essexjan said:

Jasmina is a resting-bitch-faced killjoy. Michael is so worried about saying or doing the wrong thing as she takes offence at pretty much everything. I think he is sweet and handsome, and he could do so much better than living a life of walking on eggshells.

Not to mention a spouse who keeps saying she's not attracted to him. :/

[DrewPaul2010]

I always feel bad for any participants who go endure this to the end and don't even get laid...

Wonk, wonk, wonk wooonnnkkk!!!!

[Lindz]

Geez! That cat looked torn up! Poor thing! & it was sick during the retreat (from Lindsey saying she'd help him with his cat & send him on his way). That was hard to see, yet really sad. I cried so much! 😭

[kristen111]

16 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Lindsey needs to be hit over the head with a 2 x 4 to just STOP, not the weak advice from Pepper.  She needs medication.  I will agree with Pepper than Mark needs to let her in once in a while, though.  They are caught in a death spiral where she keeps hitting the lever desperate to get a pellet out of his figurative jar.  She will become less insufferable if he lets her have one every now and then, but I doubt it will be enough to live with on any regular basis.  Mark seems determined, though.  He has enough of his own issues.  He seemed afraid to go in the woods, although Lindsey has no fear of poison ivy???  But then the way he tiptoed on the rocks rather than get his pristine white sneakers wet just made me think "wussie" again.  And the flashback where he didn't know what salsa was?  OMG, that is just unbelievable.  I don't care if he doesn't like it or never tried it but he doesn't even know what it IS.  Seriously, these two!  

Although I teared up during the cat scene.  I was close to a friend's cat for many years and he was nice enough to call me from the vet before they put her down.  I remember going there after work to say my teary goodbyes.  She looked a lot like this cat.  Her name was Ginger.  I was always grateful to be able to say goodbye to her.  😥

I’m actually scared for Mark if he says NO on decision day.  He may have to move where Lindsey can’t find him.  I could just see her in her car in front of his house stalking him.  Not kidding.  This might have been her last chance for love.  

[Lindz]

Were the editors trying to make a music video with Steve's mom??? SO CRINGE!!!! 😅😂

[Lindz]

Lindsey hopes what DP said sinks in for Mark?!! WHAT ABOUT HERSELF?!?!! She really needs to look in the mirror. She's right though, they're not right for each other & should say no on DD.

Edited April 22, 2022 by Lindz

[Retired at last]

Sigh - it looks like next week is the usual separating to spend the night before D Day apart. Then, we don't even get D Day - we get ANOTHER asinine discussion show with "show favorites" talking about their thoughts. WHO CARES????? I sure hope Decision Day is over in 1 week and then they take 2 weeks for the reunion.

[DrewPaul2010]

26 minutes ago, Lindz said:

Lindsey hopes what DP sinks in for Mark?!! WHAT ABOUT HERSELF?!?!! She really needs to look in the mirror. She's right though, they're not right for each other & should say no on DD.

So lets see Mark loses his apartment, his job, his cat and now his wife...Thanks Married at first sight.

[Lindz]

Can Katina wear her hair differently? It'd be great to see it looking better. 😂 Noi wears her hair the same way all the time, but it looks good. Jas switches it up & Lindsey can't really do anything different with her hair. I can't believe Jas wore that top out in public. Noi only wore hers in her TH, right?

[Lindz]

I like the letters to younger selves exercise. It can reveal things to their spouses more than typical couples do. Where were O & Kat's letters??? Didn't see Steve's either. Guess it was cut. 

[Alexander Pope]

On 4/20/2022 at 6:09 PM, kristen111 said:

The cat was doing fine with Mark, then she comes in and wraps cat in a blanket.  Leave the guy alone already as he was having a moment with his dying cat.  She always has to interfere and do what she wants.  She would drive the devil nuts.  How many men have dumped her?

there was a very strange moment at the end of that sad scene where Lindsey was smiling at the camera! she was so pleased with herself for "helping" Mark. It was so fake.

I see others noted this--sorry for the repetition!

I also think Mark's memory of his mother haranguing his depressed-sounding father from the window as he sat watching and waving at the cars go by, and saying nobody wants to talk to him was creepy and sad.  And yet he would move back home in a heartbeat! this is someone who is seriously stuck.  And who may well have married his mother.

 

Edited April 22, 2022 by Alexander Pope

[Lindz]

It's nice to see Mark & Lindsey step up for their spouse in their time of need. At least they have one area they're good in. Too bad it's not enough. It's also not healthy, but eh. Could they have made it work? Maybe. If only Lindsey would've LISTENED to what EVERYONE said & toned it down & stopped being so critical & rude. She tried too hard to force Mark to do & be what she wanted. Hopefully KF points that out at the reunion. No one could save her from herself.

[Yeah No]

9 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

With Lindsey talking about her mother, how her mom wasn’t cut out to stay-at-home to raise the kids, and how her mom didn’t cope well with it, I continue to support the conclusion that I jumped to after the first episode, i.e., that Lindsey’s mother is an angry, abusive alcoholic and damaged Lindsey throughout her childhood. And, Lindsey is unwittingly following in her mother’s footsteps wrt the drinking and nastiness. She probably went into nursing because she wanted to care for people, wanting to give the care she never received.

Yup, I've expressed a similar conclusion many times and also continue to support it.  I'm not on board with the idea that Lindsey is the abusive person toward her mother, at least not originally.  She learned that behavior to defend herself from a verbally abusive mother.  She seems to have an amicable relationship with her father, which is telling, because obviously he isn't with her mother anymore himself.

4 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I’m actually scared for Mark if he says NO on decision day.  He may have to move where Lindsey can’t find him.  I could just see her in her car in front of his house stalking him.  Not kidding.  This might have been her last chance for love.  

I know, and that's one reason I think Mark might say "yes" on decision day - because he is in so deep with her and doesn't know how to get out of it without inciting her anger and risking harm to himself in some way.

2 hours ago, Alexander Pope said:

I also think Mark's memory of his mother haranguing his depressed-sounding father from the window as he sat watching and waving at the cars go by, and saying nobody wants to talk to him was creepy and sad.  And yet he would move back home in a heartbeat! this is someone who is seriously stuck.  And who may well have married his mother.

I think Mark may be longing for his childhood home because he's had to endure some recent upheavals in his life and is craving the familiar.  I had a friend that did that when in a crisis.  She had a month to find a new apartment and in NYC that's no easy task.  Plus she's bipolar and was dealing with some work issues, so she ended up moving back into her childhood apartment building.  I didn't think it was the right choice at the time but it was a better choice than some other ideas she had.  She had an abusive mother and I think she is more comfortable with the past even if it was a sucky past than going out on her own and finding a new life.  She was damaged by her childhood and has difficulty handling big life changes.  So what Mark is saying doesn't surprise me, but I still think it's sad.  It's like he is having trouble handling adulthood and so wants to go back to the womb of the familiar, even if that wasn't so great.

[Yeah No]

16 hours ago, Empress1 said:

One of my best friends met her husband living in the same building on different floors. After they married they kept both apartments for a couple of years and would just go back and forth between them, in and out of each other’s. Sometimes they slept together, sometimes apart. They live together now in a totally different place, but having two places worked for them. They don’t have or want kids though so it fits a bit better.

My husband and I did that for a few years when we were separated - lived in the same building on different floors.  It was wonderful, although we later got back together.  We didn't have kids and were in our 40s/early 50s at the time.  I don't get Noi wanting to live separately when she is looking to have children.  I could understand wanting to hold onto her apartment for a little while after the show ends but not live in it.  It makes zero sense and she hasn't given any reasonable explanation for it.  She didn't appear on the Afterparty after this issue became a thing to answer any questions about it either.  The fact that none of the experts has challenged her on camera to explain herself and Steve is no help either is frustrating.  Pepper acting so la-de-dah about it is also maddening because she is in a completely different stage of life and is of course not looking to have kids.  I would have expected better from her.

[Arthur Jury]

Steve needs to grow a set of balls and stop being so wishy washy namby pamby agreeable.  Tell her like it is:

1. You post another thing about our relationship on social media and I will be outta there so fast it'll make your head swim !

2. Being married and  living apart is a deal breaker, you want to live alone, fine enjoy your single life alone !

Consensus and compromise are way over-rated, some things are just so right or so wrong there is no in between position.  

[kristen111]

On 4/21/2022 at 12:34 AM, LennieBriscoe said:

I just can't see Jasmina as a teacher of little children. 

I remember teachers like her.  Teachers that are unhappy with their lives, then pick on certain kids for no good reason.  Especially popular and good looking kids.  They are not all saints.

 

[becauseIsaidso]

On 4/21/2022 at 9:42 AM, Mercolleen said:

I am so sick of hearing the word "vulnerable."

I am also so sick and tired of hearing it pronounced 'vunnabull'.

[Boo Boo]

Michael hears a name for the first fucking time, a name that isn't like Smith, and Jasmina is going to school him on mispronouncing her name and not respecting her teacher.

I hope she says "yes" and he dumps her sour ass.

[Boo Boo]

22 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Yep, I just looked it up - she’ll be 77 in May.

He’s one of the best communicators I can remember seeing on the show.

I've always thought Dr. Pepper was really pretty.  I had no idea she's almost 77!  She looks freaking amazing and she doesn't look like she's  had botox or fillers.  If she has it's great work and very subtle.

[Boo Boo]

On 4/20/2022 at 8:20 PM, Straycat80 said:

So is wearing these giraffe type eyelashes a thing now? Jasmina and Lyndsey are wearing them. 

Unfortunately yes.  For some reason, our beauty standards today seem to be "overkill."  Eyelashes, eyebrows, lips have to be huge it appears.

And unfortunately, younger women are doing eyelash extensions that are way too long and think it looks more natural.  The eyelash extensions look great if you go for a more natural look.  My daughter had them done and they looked fantastic on her but the upkeep is pretty extensive.  

I played in a league with a really pretty woman who has eyelash extensions and they are so long they look absolutely ridiculous and take away from her natural beauty.

Edited April 22, 2022 by Boo Boo

[ECM1231]

23 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I hope Steve, Michael and Mark get divorced and join Chris for a bro holiday.

I hope Katina gets divorced and goes on a trip with her girlfriends.

I hope Jasmina comes onto Olaj now that they're divorced, and they go on vacation.  Unknown to him when they arrive at their hotel room, Noi and Lindsey are there.  The women tie him to a chair.  Lindsey starts poking and grabbing and tickling him.  When Olaj starts screaming and cursing at Lindsey, Jasmina tells him that she doesn't like his tone and he's being disrespectful.  Noi is filming it all and posts everything to her twitter account.   Then they untie him, and he staggers out the door, screaming. 😱

I forgot about Alyssa!  I hope she's there, too, screaming in Olaj's face about what a fucking nice person she is.  

My fantasy.  😈

I'm rofl. Thanks for the morning giggles!

[Vanderboom]

Apparently, I'm a "lesser woman" because I a) try to respect others' personal space and privacy, particularly if they're grieving and b) would stop touching someone if they asked me to. Mark isn't perfect at all, but Lindsey's needy obnoxiousness makes it understandable why he doesn't want to get closer to her.

Shallow note: Lindsey's eyelashes make her look as if she's slowly transforming into Janice the Muppet. She looked so much better on the aftershow.

[kristen111]

3 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

I've always thought Dr. Pepper was really pretty.  I had no idea she's almost 77!  She looks freaking amazing and she doesn't look like she's  had botox or fillers.  If she has it's great work and very subtle.

I’m not judging, but didn’t she say she once had sex with a stranger in a public bathroom at the airport?  I could see her doing that if it’s true.  Probably had a few drinks and went for it, lol.

[Ilovepie]

Thank you to everyone in the forum who has helped me reach the conclusion that it is absolutely a waste of my time to watch this. I will be back when DD happens. There are just too many horrible people this season. One asshole a season is tolerable, but when half the participants are miserable to watch it's just too long a slog to sit through. Why waste my limited tv time on these fools when there are too many other good shows I am behind on?

[Lindz]

They should've cut those Steve & Noi dance segments & have them actually resolve their issues. 😒😒

[Empress1]

 

4 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

I played in a league with a really pretty woman who has eyelash extensions and they are so long they look absolutely ridiculous and take away from her natural beauty.

My former coworker got them for her wedding. They were way too long and thick and they looked silly. They looked even sillier with her business casual work clothes - she got them done a few days before her wedding so she came to work with them. I’ve never gotten them - they seem too fussy. I think all the women wear them this season.

[Crashcourse]

So I guess plain ol' mascara isn't good enough anymore?  smh

[lh25]

I may be biased, I'm not a fan of Lindsey's.  But it seems like Mark tries to think of things he thinks she'll enjoy, like that "sound bath" and didn't he take time to pick out a gift he thought she would like?  But she picks things she likes, and he doesn't.  Under the guise of stretching his boundaries.  Not always what someone wants or needs.

[humbleopinion]

5 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Thank you to everyone in the forum who has helped me reach the conclusion that it is absolutely a waste of my time to watch this. I will be back when DD happens. There are just too many horrible people this season. One asshole a season is tolerable, but when half the participants are miserable to watch it's just too long a slog to sit through. Why waste my limited tv time on these fools when there are too many other good shows I am behind on?

Your old friend humbleopinion here to applaud your epiphany about MAFS....

Welcome to the other side...the water's fine....

Edited April 22, 2022 by humbleopinion

[Lindz]

What was O saying??? Kat should say no on DD & get done with school in 2yrs & he'd be waiting for her? Who'd be ready for who? HUH?

[Lindz]

DP visiting seemed new. Idk if it made much a difference. A lotta talk but what's the action? Where's the resolution? They seem to be in the same place in their relationship as they were before her visit. They need to be more thorough. Really dig in & correct in real-time. Mark & Lindsey needs that the most. Too bad it's too late for them.

[kristen111]

21 hours ago, Lindz said:

It's nice to see Mark & Lindsey step up for their spouse in their time of need. At least they have one area they're good in. Too bad it's not enough. It's also not healthy, but eh. Could they have made it work? Maybe. If only Lindsey would've LISTENED to what EVERYONE said & toned it down & stopped being so critical & rude. She tried too hard to force Mark to do & be what she wanted. Hopefully KF points that out at the reunion. No one could save her from herself.

Lindsey is what she is and will never change.  She must have really put on the charm when they interviewed her.  Mark got a raw deal.  He got nothing out of this show but aggravation.  He should have left when Chris left.  Guess he needed the money.

[princelina]

7 hours ago, kristen111 said:

I’m not judging, but didn’t she say she once had sex with a stranger in a public bathroom at the airport?  I could see her doing that if it’s true.  Probably had a few drinks and went for it, lol.

I'm judging - if that's true it's gross.  Furthermore, I was FFing during most of her talk with Noi and Steve, but if she's acting like living apart is no big deal she should turn in her "expert" card stat.  Just because she does it, and maybe there are others in the world who do, does not mean that that's what she should advise - that's what's called the exception, not the rule.  Other than Noi I doubt people are signing up to be married in order to live alone - that's just silly.  I judge her bad advice and her "expertise" also 👎

Edited April 23, 2022 by princelina

[Lindz]

How about Steve talking about sneaking out with the car & his mom saying she knew? Uhhhh. Stupid. Reckless. Dangerous. Did they not have any rules? If they caused an accident & hurt people, the parents would be liable & they just let them do that? 🙄😒

[Vanderboom]

13 hours ago, lh25 said:

I may be biased, I'm not a fan of Lindsey's.  But it seems like Mark tries to think of things he thinks she'll enjoy, like that "sound bath" and didn't he take time to pick out a gift he thought she would like?  But she picks things she likes, and he doesn't.  Under the guise of stretching his boundaries.  Not always what someone wants or needs.

So true. This is an extension of what Mark was talking about when he said that everything turns into being about Lindsey. Last week, the "hyper" discussion turned into a thing about Lindsey's hurt feelings instead of being (as intended) about Mark's boundaries. Even Lindsey's emotional support is about how Lindsey, like Alison before her, is super-invested in being A Good Person and not about responding to Mark's needs. It gives her ammunition to hurl at Mark if he dares to complain about the way she acts.

On the other hand, I have to wonder about Mark. Why is he still here? I guess he couldn't have predicted the loss of his apartment, job, and cat, but he knows that walking away is an available option. If Mark is worried about fallout, maybe it's good to leave while the cameras are still around?

[Boo Boo]

If Katina wants to be a nurse, why isn't she switching majors and getting a bachelors in nursing?  Wouldn't that be faster route than completing whatever her major was and then going to nursing school?  Or is she too far along in whatever her major is that she might as well complete whatever course study she was in?

If you put aside some of the other asshole things with O, I am not sure I completely blame O when it comes to this issue.  I suspect Katina hasn't really put that much effort into finishing out her Bachelor's and it's probably dragged onto the point that O thinks she's likely not going to finish it or it's going to take forever for her if they are married.  Working full time, then working on your degree while being married and wanting to have kids in a 2 year window is pretty ambitious and likely not going to happen.   I know people have done it, but she'd probably knock it out easier if she did it while unmarried.

 

Edited April 23, 2022 by Boo Boo

[LuvMyShows]

1 hour ago, Boo Boo said:

Working full time, then working on your degree while being married and wanting to have kids in a 2 year window is pretty ambitious and likely not going to happen.   I know people have done it, but she'd probably knock it out easier if she did it while unmarried.

I just don't understand Katina and O's entrenched insistence on the 2-year timeframe for kids.  If it's going to take Katina 2 yrs to finish her degree, then she should do it.  And if O wants to travel, then they should do it in the summer while she finishes her degree, and then maybe in the year after she finishes her degree.  Then she can get the nursing master's (go for a 2-yr program) and get pregnant during that period so that she has the baby when she's done.  That would mean having the baby in 5 years instead of 2, but having accomplished what BOTH of them want to accomplish.  And she'll be 34 when she gives birth.  There's got to be some good reason why she's going for a nursing masters rather than the BSN, but obviously that would enable them to accomplish their goals even sooner if she did the BSN.

[Boo Boo]

6 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

I just don't understand Katina and O's entrenched insistence on the 2-year timeframe for kids.  If it's going to take Katina 2 yrs to finish her degree, then she should do it.  And if O wants to travel, then they should do it in the summer while she finishes her degree, and then maybe in the year after she finishes her degree.  Then she can get the nursing master's (go for a 2-yr program) and get pregnant during that period so that she has the baby when she's done.  That would mean having the baby in 5 years instead of 2, but having accomplished what BOTH of them want to accomplish.  And she'll be 34 when she gives birth.  There's got to be some good reason why she's going for a nursing masters rather than the BSN, but obviously that would enable them to accomplish their goals even sooner if she did the BSN.

Right!  What is the hurry on kids?  

[ytown]

Mark is a good guy.  Someone said he's not perfect.  Who the hell is!!   He needs to say NO on d day or he'll be subjected to the ups and downs of Linsey's issues for ever.   Linsey is a good person  (good nurse/friend)but is co-dependent/controlling in a relationship.  She just can't get out of her own way nor  understands boundaries.

Noi has changed the most over the course of the show.  I liked her at first and now not so much.  She would be better suited marrying someone like her transgendering brother.

Olajuwaon should just stay as Issac.    Katina who is very likeable looks like a beaten down wife when O is rambling on about his delusional approach on what a marriage should be.

Foreigner song "cold as ice" =  Jasmina.  I would be both depressed and homocidal  if I had to deal with her mentality.  Please Michael don't do it.  I do not like putting the likes of some of these participants down but can they ever look outside their own selfish set agendas and find some compassion of the others feelings instead of acting offended eveytime things don't go their way ?

[Starlight925]

Living apart while married worked out so well for Mia Farrow & Woody Allen.  

Seriously, though, what are the couples supposed to do with apartments they already have leases on, or homes that they own?  What if both people have leases that will cost them a lot to break?  Or if each person owns a home?   I'm not sure that's been seriously addressed here.  

I'm not defending Noi.  I think she's selfish and unforgiving.  It's Noi's way or the highway.  Noi will post what she wants, no matter how much Steve doesn't like it.  Noi will move back to her apartment, no matter what Steve thinks.  Noi will have 3 children and be a SAH mom.  Noi will badger Steve about a job, despite his assurance that finances are ok.  It's a good thing Steve likes Sushi the dog, or Noi would have a huge problem.  

Noi, Noi, Noi.  An-NOI-ying.

[Elizzikra]

16 hours ago, kristen111 said:

Lindsey is what she is and will never change.  She must have really put on the charm when they interviewed her.  Mark got a raw deal.  He got nothing out of this show but aggravation.  He should have left when Chris left.  Guess he needed the money.

And as it turned out, a place to live…

[cinsays]

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

And as it turned out, a place to live…

He probably could have roomed with a friend and not had to listen to that person constantly telling him how he should be thankful for the gesture.