S14.E09: Is Love on the Table?

[kristen111]

17 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

Oh no! Mark just took a newspaper into the bathroom. 😷

Lots of men do.  It’s the only place they can read their sports without interruption.  It’s like us women with this show.  Nobody can talk to me while I’m watching.  Although lately, it’s been boring.

[kristen111]

17 hours ago, Mindthinkr said:

I think she wanted to go to bed and he wanted everything pristine before going to sleep. 

He might have OCD.  Everything has to be perfect or he’ll explode.  Is that right about OCD?  Or is it called something else?

[seacliffsal]

How can an episode be both extremely boring and extremely irksome?  

What I found to be irksome was Jasmina's interactions with Michael when he sincerely and calmly asked her how to best communicate with her.  I think he tried really hard what with buying presents for Mr. Feeney and trying to find effective ways to communicate with Jasmina.  When she said that she was a positive person I laughed out loud.  

Oh, and O? Can just stop with all of the "standards and expectations" that he is placing on Katina.  He certainly sees himself as some sort of catch.  Maybe he should have been paired with Alyssa as they both are really, really good people who were robbed of being paired with their perfect matches...

I thought the archery looked really fun!

[kristen111]

17 hours ago, Mr. Miner said:

What does Katina need from her huzzbind?

A new set of nails.  Maybe longer.  I don’t know how she gets by with those claws.  If they are longer, she wouldn’t have to cook, clean, or anything.  She just might claw his eyes out soon tho, if he keeps it up.

[greeneyedscorpio]

7 hours ago, becauseIsaidso said:

Jasmina is one big piece of ice. She is so my-way-or-the-highway busy lecturing Michael on how he and his 'tone' fail to talk to her instead of at her, that she can't she is doing exactly the same to him, but with a high degree of condescension.

Can you imagine if they would have matched Jasmina "Don't Talk at Me" with Olajuwan "Mr. Talk at You"? That would've been a hot mess from the get-go.  

[Elizzikra]

Quote

IMHO, there is nothing wrong with Olajuwon wanting a wife to cook all his meals, sweep the floor, plan a party for "his" housewarming (yes, he did say "his).  But Katina is not that girl.  

What bothers me about this is that O consistently equates these tasks and the ability to do them with being "wifely" and "womanly." That feels really chauvinistic to me. He came into the marriage with really concrete ideas of what husband responsibilities were and what wife responsibilities were with no regard for what his partner might want to do or be able to do or be accustomed to doing. Even at the cooking lesson, where they were both standing there, learning the recipes, O was nudging Katina to "take notes" so she could replicate the meal at home; not writing any notes himself so he could make dinner for his wife once in awhile.

[kristen111]

18 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

Wow, I forgot this was even on, just tuned in to see Jasmina and Michael at the picnic.  Jasmina is a bitch.

OMG, she’s such a killjoy.  There’s no fun with her as she’s so serious all the time with a puss on no less.  Go have some fun and laughs with your husband.  He lost his whole family.  Do some fun things, have some drinks and have some sex with him.  It’s time, and won’t kill you.  You’re married.  She reminds me of one of those old single school marms.

 

[greeneyedscorpio]

21 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

He might have OCD.  Everything has to be perfect or he’ll explode.  Is that right about OCD?  Or is it called something else?

Not necessarily.  OCD is more having to do certain actions repeatedly ie handwashing, checking the stove to make sure it's turned off, locking the door repeatedly.  

I have a friend with anxiety and she can't go to bed with a dirty house.  It's a matter of feeling in control of her life.  My sister is the same way.  Her house is immaculate.  She says it's because it's the one thing in life she can control.  

[pinguina]

i don't think Noi planned that "scavanger hunt" at all.  She said she'd been planning it for weeks!  At that point they'd been married for less than three weeks, so she started planning on their wedding day?

Jasmine, the problem is the  person who speaks with a "tone" is you. Michael asked you for help to communicate with you and your response is not to talk with a tone. he asked for clarification and (IRC) you said something like "There's that tone".

As for Lindsey and Mark/Katina and O please just throw in the towel!

[kristen111]

Unpopular opinion here, but I see nothing wrong with O.  He went to college, paid off his student loans, bought a house, now wants a wife.  So he wants her to cook and clean.  Somebody has to do it.  He says he works long hours and wants a hot meal.  So she can cook, and he can clean up.  To me, she seems like she doesn’t do anything.  She can’t even go to the grocery store and buy food as she doesn’t know what to buy.  Marriage isn’t just getting your nails and hair done and looking pretty.  They both have to do things to keep house.  If she doesn’t want to, get a divorce and stay single.  Spoiled is what she is.  What does she want exactly?  She can’t even plan a party by herself.  How will she have a child? Give me a break.  I had three kids, cooked everyday, did laundry, paid the bills, cleaned the house, worked part time and I’m still alive and married.  Like my Mother used to say “ work never killed anybody, but aggravation will.”

 

 

 

[Crashcourse]

17 hours ago, JenE4 said:

O pronounces the L in salmon—a hard L at that: sahLman.

That should be grounds for divorce.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

To me, she seems like she doesn’t do anything.  She can’t even go to the grocery store and buy food as she doesn’t know what to buy. 

Well she works full-time, so there's that. And she is perfectly capable of feeding herself. She likes to eat out; there's nothing wrong with that if she can afford it. She can go to the grocery store but how would she know what to buy for O if he didn't tell her? Is there some reason he can't give her a list? Or go with her? My husband and I grocery shop together all the time and we actually have a pretty good time doing it.

Quote

She can’t even plan a party by herself.

She did just fine planning the party and decorating the apartment. O objected to her not doing anything that required leaving the house, like picking up the food. And it wasn't "his" housewarming; it was theirs.

Quote

Unpopular opinion here, but I see nothing wrong with O.  He went to college, paid off his student loans, bought a house, now wants a wife.  So he wants her to cook and clean.  Somebody has to do it.  He says he works long hours and wants a hot meal.  So she can cook, and he can clean up. 

For all we know, Katina also went to college and paid off any loans she might have had. I don't think O works particularly long hours but it does sound like he does shift work and works different shifts throughout the month. I do think that his "demands" for a wife are problematic as he is being so rigid about it. Why should she have to cook just because he wants her to cook? It also sounds to me like he wants her to cook and clean; not just cook. I don't see him having any flexibility about the roles in their marriage and that is a problem because he isn't the only person in the marriage.

[kristen111]

3 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Well she works full-time, so there's that. And she is perfectly capable of feeding herself. She likes to eat out; there's nothing wrong with that if she can afford it. She can go to the grocery store but how would she know what to buy for O if he didn't tell her? Is there some reason he can't give her a list? Or go with her? My husband and I grocery shop together all the time and we actually have a pretty good time doing it.

She did just fine planning the party and decorating the apartment. O objected to her not doing anything that required leaving the house, like picking up the food. And it wasn't "his" housewarming; it was theirs.

For all we know, Katina also went to college and paid off any loans she might have had. I don't think O works particularly long hours but it does sound like he does shift work and works different shifts throughout the month. I do think that his "demands" for a wife are problematic as he is being so rigid about it. Why should she have to cook just because he wants her to cook? It also sounds to me like he wants her to cook and clean; not just cook. I don't see him having any flexibility about the roles in their marriage and that is a problem because he isn't the only person in the marriage.

Well, I blame the experts.  They know all this during an interview.  They know what each one wants and doesn’t want.  I think it’s all about drama and fighting to keep the show going.

 

[Gypsy Blue]

7 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Well she works full-time, so there's that. And she is perfectly capable of feeding herself. She likes to eat out; there's nothing wrong with that if she can afford it. She can go to the grocery store but how would she know what to buy for O if he didn't tell her? Is there some reason he can't give her a list? Or go with her? My husband and I grocery shop together all the time and we actually have a pretty good time doing it.

She did just fine planning the party and decorating the apartment. O objected to her not doing anything that required leaving the house, like picking up the food. And it wasn't "his" housewarming; it was theirs.

For all we know, Katina also went to college and paid off any loans she might have had. I don't think O works particularly long hours but it does sound like he does shift work and works different shifts throughout the month. I do think that his "demands" for a wife are problematic as he is being so rigid about it. Why should she have to cook just because he wants her to cook? It also sounds to me like he wants her to cook and clean; not just cook. I don't see him having any flexibility about the roles in their marriage and that is a problem because he isn't the only person in the marriage.

I've had three long-term relationships.  The subject of cooking and cleaning has come up in every single one, and each agreement was different, based on both skillset and work schedule.

The problem I have with O is that he has this idea of what a wife's duties are, and seems to have some disdain for Katina because she doesn't measure up.  I don't see any compromise.  I don't see any sharing of duties because they both work.  Maybe there have been some compromises that we weren't privy to, and Katina agreed to do it all.  But we haven't seen those.  So he appears to be pushing his ideals on to his wife without compromise.

No way in hell would I agree to do all the cooking and cleaning while I worked full time.  I'd agree to cooking every meal, because I like to cook.  Katina doesn't appear to enjoy it.

However I feel personally, if it works for the couple, it's none of my business.  But this does not appear to work for the both of them.  He's putting ridiculous expectations on any one, let alone a working young woman trying to learn to be a wife.

[Crashcourse]

38 minutes ago, kristen111 said:

Unpopular opinion here, but I see nothing wrong with O.  He went to college, paid off his student loans, bought a house, now wants a wife.  So he wants her to cook and clean.  Somebody has to do it.  He says he works long hours and wants a hot meal.  So she can cook, and he can clean up.  To me, she seems like she doesn’t do anything.  She can’t even go to the grocery store and buy food as she doesn’t know what to buy.  Marriage isn’t just getting your nails and hair done and looking pretty.  They both have to do things to keep house.  If she doesn’t want to, get a divorce and stay single.  Spoiled is what she is.  What does she want exactly?  She can’t even plan a party by herself.  How will she have a child? Give me a break.  I had three kids, cooked everyday, did laundry, paid the bills, cleaned the house, worked part time and I’m still alive and married.  Like my Mother used to say “ work never killed anybody, but aggravation will.”

 

 

 

But he's not the only one working.  Katina has a damn job, too.  Why should she be the only one to cook and clean house?  And maybe I missed it, but I don't remember her saying she couldn't shop at the grocery store.  

Even if she agreed to cook his damn food all the time, he'd probably find reasons why it wasn't good. 

And, I'm sorry, but just because a person can cook, clean, pay bills, have kids, etc., doesn't mean that's suitable for another person.  We're all different.

[sara416]

Here's what I optimistically think O is trying to say: I want a partner who has life skills and can be independent as well as be a partner.

Here's what O is coming across as saying: I'm a giant chauvanist and need a woman who cooks and cleans and you, Katina, are a baby who knows nothing about the world and I have to parent you. 

[Crashcourse]

2 minutes ago, sara416 said:

Here's what I optimistically think O is trying to say: I want a partner who has life skills and can be independent as well as be a partner.

If that's what O is trying to say (I don't think so), then he should realize that Katina is a grown ass woman who already has "life skills" and was "independent" long before she met him.

[greeneyedscorpio]

Just now, sara416 said:

Here's what I optimistically think O is trying to say: I want a partner who has life skills and can be independent as well as be a partner.

Here's what O is coming across as saying: I'm a giant chauvanist and need a woman who cooks and cleans and you, Katina, are a baby who knows nothing about the world and I have to parent you. 

Exactly!  Why does he not see her as an adult with life skills?  She has a job,  a place to live, keeps herself clothed and fed.  How exactly is she lacking in life skills?  Because she doesn't cook and clean to HIS standards?  The whole *his* housewarming argument was a joke. He thinks she has to be taught because she had some friends pick up some food on their way over?  He's ridiculous.  Why didn't *he* go pick up the damn food?  Why was the whole party on her?  If he expects her to cook every night, is he going to do the dishes?  If he wants her to do all the work at home, he needs to earn enough to let her stay home and do it all.  I'm quite sure that's not what she wants, however.  

[sara416]

1 minute ago, Crashcourse said:

If that's what O is trying to say (I don't think so), then he should realize that Katina is a grown ass woman who already has "life skills" and was "independent" long before she met him.

I agree. Thi would be a different question if they were in their early 20s and moved right from their parents house to marriage, but I tried really hard to understand the sentiment behind his idiotic words. 

[kristen111]

24 minutes ago, sara416 said:

I agree. Thi would be a different question if they were in their early 20s and moved right from their parents house to marriage, but I tried really hard to understand the sentiment behind his idiotic words. 

Producer driven to guarantee more pages and keep this farce going.

Edited March 3, 2022 by kristen111

[Mr. Miner]

Did Jasmina really say to Michael what I thought she said in the preview? I was nodding off at that point.

[greeneyedscorpio]

17 minutes ago, Mr. Miner said:

Did Jasmina really say to Michael what I thought she said in the preview? I was nodding off at that point.

Yes.  Yes she did. 

[TzuShih]

22 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

So is this Olajuwon treating Katina like a queen? Or even better, yet another of his tests? Hey Olajuwon, the 50’s called and it wants your ideas of marriage back.

"Give em an inch.  They'll take a mile."

Katina!!  Can't you hear the sound of women viewers all over the world cringing (upchucking!) at the nasty turn Olaj has taken in your marriage??  How belittling his words and his tone have become??  Honestly, I don't know WHAT the blankety-blank O has struggled with in his life to produce this persona.  But Katina -- IT IS NOT NORMAL!  Your NEXT response to him should be:  "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!"  THEN perhaps you can let him explain what in tarnation is he thinking?!?!  His dialogue would almost seem like "satire," if it wasn't apparent how much O is slowly breaking down your wonderful spirit!   

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Why didn't *he* go pick up the damn food?

Well, to give credit where credit is due, he did go pick up the food although she had asked her friends to do so and they had agreed. Maybe he did it so he'd have something to bitch about later.

[Lavender]

These people have only known each other for 2 weeks. Why why does Noi think Steve is taking too long to say it? 

[TzuShih]

21 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

This is so boring and depressing. I’d rather see what the dogs and cats are doing. I hate to admit it but I kinda miss Alyssa and Chris. 

I agree on loving the dog & cat antics.  😼    But then, as far as "missing Alyssa and Chris" antics -- therein lies the dilemma of MAFS.  When the "experts" seem to deliberately mismatch couples, we all 'storm the gates' at their lack of wisdom and empathy.  Yet we yawn at the couples that do NOT get us up in arms.  Aah...so....what is a Producer to do?!?!?!  (Maybe find some couples who get along AND have a genuine, fun sense of humor!)  Sigh.  I know...I probably live in a dream world....🥴

[Elizzikra]

2 minutes ago, TzuShih said:

I agree on loving the dog & cat antics.  😼    But then, as far as "missing Alyssa and Chris" antics -- therein lies the dilemma of MAFS.  When the "experts" seem to deliberately mismatch couples, we all 'storm the gates' at their lack of wisdom and empathy.  Yet we yawn at the couples that do NOT get us up in arms.  Aah...so....what is a Producer to do?!?!?!  (Maybe find some couples who get along AND have a genuine, fun sense of humor!)  Sigh.  I know...I probably live in a dream world....🥴

There has to be a sweet spot in the middle somewhere. I liked Jessica and Austin of the Arlington season. They were boring, but I liked them. I also liked Deonna and Gregg (Philadelphia); Craig and Kristine (Philadelphia); and weirdly enough, I came to like A.J. and Steph (always liked her; needed some time to grow in love with him. None of them had the massive conflicts these couples did. 

[red12]

15 hours ago, Bees52 said:

I knew I didn't like Olajuwon just from the way he said "wife" on the wedding day. Like, his wife is his possession, his prize, but she must be the way he wants her to be. On that day, when he saw Katina, his "wife" was so, so beautiful, the experts found the perfect woman.

Weeks later, he's now saying she has no life skills, she doesn't want to cook, or clean.  She  just doesn't live up to his expectations as a wife. His marriage is so difficult because she doesn't just do wifely things without him telling her to...

However, I don't see what he's bringing to her as a husband except a lot of criticism, opinions, and just always seems shallow. Not sure if these two will make it past Decision Day (or if I want  them to), but they have no chance if he doesn't make some personal improvements of his own. 

 

 

 

 

 

Olajuwan is striking me as the type of guy who lists all these jobs as what he wants in a wife. But he doesn't pick a woman who actually enjoys doing those things and enthusiastically states she wants to do them for him for free.

Then even though housekeeping, cooking and sex work are all professions that exist where the customer and their cash are king, men like him refuse to make use of those services. 

At this point, the conclusion I'm left with is that having the criteria met by a fully informed and willing partner isn't completely the goal. There is something about the element of cohersion that these men are interested in and that's where the real feelings of self worth and achievement are for them. If Katina gives in and lets O mold her he will be telling the story of her successful Pigmalion-like transformation of her to anybody willing to listen. She will be worse off for it.

[princelina]

5 hours ago, pinguina said:

i don't think Noi planned that "scavenger hunt" at all. 

Me neither.  But one clue was the flower that he put in her hair when they went to a berry farm - that sounds like something they did on their own, but we aren't allowed to see it because it doesn't fit in with the weeks theme of "Word Salads About Love" - are you in love?  How do you fall in love?  How do you know you are in love?  What do you love about love?  Do you love being in love?  Are you in love with love? Enough already.  Why doesn't anyone ask why their previous relationships ended?  That's what I'd like to know!

[For Cereals]

22 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

O has a whole lot of requirements.  What does he offer her?  Does he meet her requirements 

I know I shouldn’t talk about looks, but he’s been an ass.  I really think that haircut only highlights his receding hairline and makes him look like a Simpson’s character. 

[Gypsy Blue]

15 minutes ago, princelina said:

Why doesn't anyone ask why their previous relationships ended?  That's what I'd like to know!

That's what I kept wondering.  I think both Jasmina and Lyndsey talked about what was good about their past relationships.  I would have asked them, "If they were so good, why did they end?"  That seems like more useful information to me.

[athousandclowns]

My suggestion for O is to sit at your kitchen table in your perfectly cleaned house with your tacky ass curtains and have a big ole plate of Salmon ella  . 
 

Edited March 4, 2022 by athousandclowns
Typo

[qtpye]

On 3/2/2022 at 8:30 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

So is this Olajuwon treating Katina like a queen? Or even better, yet another of his tests? Hey Olajuwon, the 50’s called and it wants your ideas of marriage back.

 

On 3/2/2022 at 9:13 PM, JenE4 said:

Talk about inner child coming out. We just saw a bunch of 10-year-old boys living their best lives with that archery version of paintball. Hilarious. Ok, now on to the inner child trauma part… Olajuwon is contemplating ending his marriage because she doesn’t clean before bed?! I feel like they should have him watch clips of all of the rest of these dysfunctional couples having drag-out fights. You two are the “best” ones if he would just let up on the old-fashioned housewife stuff. Katina is even trying here to cook and clean—not fighting him on it, like every other one of these women would. He doesn’t realize how lucky he has it.

It was the best scene of the entire season. It seems like the men enjoy hanging out together.

23 hours ago, Racj82 said:

O is out here Wilding.

He's basically like what you going to do for me? Cook, clean, what?

What the fuck are you going to do?

You got a wife. Not a housekeeper.

 

22 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I don't believe Jasmina and Mike have consummated their marriage.   

Ola is determined to mold Katina into his ideal woman. The fact that he keeps talking about her “wifely duties” and pointing out her every flaw is very concerning. It’s almost as if she has to prove that she is worthy of him. On the other hand, she ignores every single red flag about him. And if someone brings up something negative about him, she glosses over it or explains it away

I wonder if Steve is really in-love with Noi or is just saying what he knows she wants to hear.

Now that Alyssa is gone, Lindsey and Katina seem to be getting along. It’s a welcome change.    

 

21 hours ago, princelina said:

I don't know - he seems to me to really like her but is acting like a baby because she doesn't perform up to some standard he has set in his head.  I'm white and don't even pretend to clean my house - Mr. P enjoys all that 😄. I think he just needs to get over his own ideas about "what a wife is" and work out a routine with the wife he has. 

 

20 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

I'm wondering what type of relationship Olaj's parents had. Are they still together? His idea of what a wife is seems outdated. They both work f/t.

Now that being said, I'm married close to 40 years. I was a teacher when I married but only worked a short time afterward because I became a sahm after the birth of my 1st child. When my 2nd child was a bit older, I did return f/t to work, but by then my husband was so used to me cooking a home cooked meal every night, that I continued as he expected it. We're both kind of old school in that regard. When I became a sahm, I felt that cooking & cleaning was doing my fair share, as well as most of the child care. My husband did all of the yard work, house maintenance, and car care. I paid the bills because I was better at it.

However, when both work f/t it's unreasonable for one spouse to do all the cooking unless they want to.  Like perhaps one spouse likes cooking but would rather not do all the laundry. There's got to be compromise. Mr. ECM is semi-retired now and I am still cooking every night. And not by choice. Katina, stand your ground, honey!

 

ETA: Mr. ECM does make a mean bacon and eggs breakfast, as well as pancakes. He's on his own for lunch 

 

16 hours ago, Bees52 said:

I knew I didn't like Olajuwon just from the way he said "wife" on the wedding day. Like, his wife is his possession, his prize, but she must be the way he wants her to be. On that day, when he saw Katina, his "wife" was so, so beautiful, the experts found the perfect woman.

Weeks later, he's now saying she has no life skills, she doesn't want to cook, or clean.  She  just doesn't live up to his expectations as a wife. His marriage is so difficult because she doesn't just do wifely things without him telling her to...

However, I don't see what he's bringing to her as a husband except a lot of criticism, opinions, and just always seems shallow. Not sure if these two will make it past Decision Day (or if I want  them to), but they have no chance if he doesn't make some personal improvements of his own. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

What bothers me about this is that O consistently equates these tasks and the ability to do them with being "wifely" and "womanly." That feels really chauvinistic to me. He came into the marriage with really concrete ideas of what husband responsibilities were and what wife responsibilities were with no regard for what his partner might want to do or be able to do or be accustomed to doing. Even at the cooking lesson, where they were both standing there, learning the recipes, O was nudging Katina to "take notes" so she could replicate the meal at home; not writing any notes himself so he could make dinner for his wife once in awhile.

I am 37 years old. This means that most of the men I dated have been Gen X.  Like Noi, these guys were very scared to be the only financial provider and expected me to contribute equally, which I did. I have been working since I was 17 and also know how to cook/clean.

However, these men still expected me to handle all or most of the housework. and cooking. What was really fucked up was that it was encouraged that a woman brings home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let him forget that he's a man. The feminists seem to think women had to do everything.

Olaj first loved bombed Katina and now he is slowly breaking her down. There are ways to communicate effectively without always belittling and dragging her.

Jasmina and Michael are both very attractive...when they are not around each other. They both have beautiful smiles but never smile when they are together.

[kristen111]

6 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

Well she works full-time, so there's that. And she is perfectly capable of feeding herself. She likes to eat out; there's nothing wrong with that if she can afford it. She can go to the grocery store but how would she know what to buy for O if he didn't tell her? Is there some reason he can't give her a list? Or go with her? My husband and I grocery shop together all the time and we actually have a pretty good time doing it.

She’s been working from home.  My husband and I shop together, but we’re retired.  O is working.  So she goes to the store and buys spaghetti, sauce and fixings for a salad.  That’s a dinner.  What’s so hard?  She doesn’t need a list.  Buy some chicken, a potato and a salad.   Twenty minutes and she has a dinner for both.  I don’t get the big deal about making a simple dinner.  Eating out is expensive.  Then he can clean up and sweep the floor.  Everyone’s happy.

[Kira53]

 

5 hours ago, sara416 said:

I agree. Thi would be a different question if they were in their early 20s and moved right from their parents house to marriage, but I tried really hard to understand the sentiment behind his idiotic words. 

Doesn’t she live with her mother? She wears beautiful clothes which look expensive and she has thousands of dollars on her head with weaves and other locks that she wore on the after party. She may not have been taking care of herself.   living at home you can afford to spend everything on appearance. If she’s mostly eating out the other meals may be her mother’s cooking.   He’s bought a house, he’s paid off his school loans, he doesn’t need a roommate to help him pay the mortgage and has a steady job that has allowed him to purchase a home in a very expensive city.   He’s willing to cook and to do cleaning. Right now he does the breakfasts. The complaint that wasn’t edited out was that he has to explain or tell her what to. She says she will learn to shop for food.  50 pieces of chicken for that small crowd suggest that somebody hasn’t given a party by themselves. I guess He didn’t tell her how many pieces to order. Oh, and I think he has the right to want to have more traditional wife And Katina has the right to not want to do it and not to want to stay married to him.  

Edited March 4, 2022 by Kira53

[Kira53]

2 hours ago, red12 said:

Olajuwan is striking me as the type of guy who lists all these jobs as what he wants in a wife. But he doesn't pick a woman who actually enjoys doing those things and enthusiastically states she wants to do them for him for free.

Then even though housekeeping, cooking and sex work are all professions that exist where the customer and their cash are king, men like him refuse to make use of those services. 

At this point, the conclusion I'm left with is that having the criteria met by a fully informed and willing partner isn't completely the goal. There is something about the element of cohersion that these men are interested in and that's where the real feelings of self worth and achievement are for them. If Katina gives in and lets O mold her he will be telling the story of her successful Pigmalion-like transformation of her to anybody willing to listen. She will be worse off for it.

They married at first sight he didn’t get to pick her.

[red12]

22 minutes ago, Kira53 said:

They married at first sight he didn’t get to pick her.

I get it. But he's also very attached to making her prove she can be molded into what he wants and seemingly not as vested in what he provides.

In a previous ep Pastor Cal also mentioned how Olajawuan did not mention his cooking and cleaning requirements in his questionaires.

Edited March 4, 2022 by red12

[princelina]

16 minutes ago, red12 said:

I get it. But he's also very attached to making her prove she can be molded into what he wants and seemingly not as vested in what he provides.

I think he thinks he provides quite a bit.  He thinks she doesn't match what he provides.

[princelina]

56 minutes ago, qtpye said:

However, these men still expected me to handle all or most of the housework. and cooking. What was really fucked up was that it was encouraged that a woman brings home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let him forget that he's a man. The feminists seem to think women had to do everything.

That reminds me of my college professor in the 80s - she felt she had to work full time, express all of her feminist beliefs even though it wasn't the class topic, felt horribly guilty about not being there for her two toddlers, and her husband meanwhile called himself an "artist" and spent an hour or so each day rolling tires through paint and onto paper in his garage, then went horsebackriding with his female friend (which I know because my roommates babysat for them sometimes during the day) Didn't make us students feel too attracted to her brand of feminism!  Cultural changes happen slowly and unevenly.  But in O's case I'd like to know what he's basing all of these "wife qualifications" on.  One would think an actual expert might intervene and ask that question!  😂😂😂  sorry - I crack myself up 😂

Edited March 4, 2022 by princelina

[Lindz]

YAYYYYYYYY! NO CHRIS OR ALYSSA!!!! WOOT! WOOT! 🎉🎉

[Jeanne222]

Everybody’s getting their heart broken this season.   They all expect way too much from each other. 

They have wanted love for so long but could never find it on their own. 

I hope they got to watch these episodes as they are being filmed. 

Perhaps then they will see why they were all still single. 

[Lindz]

WTF is O's problem?!!! I can't make sense out of his nonsense!!! He has a problem with her not picking up stuff for the party. That's RESOURCEFUL!!! He's mad she wouldn't clean & went to sleep. Uhhhh. Huhhhh. AND he's hating on her cooking?!!! BOY BYE! He's NOT inspiring AT ALL!!!!! There's a difference between you are my wife, you must cook me dinner & you are my husband, I want to cook you dinner. He needs his negative energy right back! How'd he get resentful so fast?!! Geez! 

[Elizzikra]

Quote

She’s been working from home.  My husband and I shop together, but we’re retired.  O is working.  So she goes to the store and buys spaghetti, sauce and fixings for a salad.  That’s a dinner.  What’s so hard?  She doesn’t need a list.  Buy some chicken, a potato and a salad.   Twenty minutes and she has a dinner for both.  I don’t get the big deal about making a simple dinner.  Eating out is expensive.  Then he can clean up and sweep the floor.  Everyone’s happy.

Everyone is happy... except Katina, who doesn't want to have to cook all the meals. If it's so easy, why can't O do it? Why can't O compromise and cook half the time and Katina cooks half the time? 

And if Katina is working at home, why does it make more sense for her to leave to do the shopping when O could just as easily swing by the grocery store for a rotisserie chicken and a potato? 

Every couple works things out differently. My issue is that O isn't open to compromise at all AND he places a value judgment on Katina not wanting to cook him a hot meal every night. He doesn't see it as a difference in their respective views of marital roles, he thinks it makes her a bad wife, and perhaps worse, immature.

Finally, as regards a grocery list - evidently he does need to give her one because he complained about what she brought home when she did go to the store. They haven't been married long; how is she supposed to know what he likes and doesn't (and she's going to hear about it if she buys cow's milk instead of almond or the wrong cut of beef). 

[gwen747]

Katina needs to kick Olajuwon's ass to the curb. He was growing on me for a bit, but the guy is ridiculous. He acts like he's interviewing her for a job...oh right...he is. 

[Yeah No]

8 hours ago, kristen111 said:

She’s been working from home.  My husband and I shop together, but we’re retired.  O is working.  So she goes to the store and buys spaghetti, sauce and fixings for a salad.  That’s a dinner.  What’s so hard?  She doesn’t need a list.  Buy some chicken, a potato and a salad.   Twenty minutes and she has a dinner for both.  I don’t get the big deal about making a simple dinner.  Eating out is expensive.  Then he can clean up and sweep the floor.  Everyone’s happy.

That might be a good plan but I don't get the feeling that Olaj would be willing to do the clean up after she cooks.  I even think that if she took too many shortcuts like jarred sauce and boxed pasta he wouldn't like that either.  He seems to want her to do everything all by herself while he doesn't have to do any cooking, cleanup or housework period.  My problem is that Olaj is asking for a lot but he doesn't really show any desire for an even distribution of labor.  They don't each have to be doing 50% of every job, just divide up the work based on who does what best or who wants to do what. 

Why is he so hung up on cooking?  From what I hear most young people today don't cook as much as older generations so how realistic is it of him to keep harping on that?  Most women work today and so it's really not fair for him to expect his wife to do everything as if she didn't have a full time job.  His level of expectation is way too high, and does seem very outdated and male chauvinistic.  He wants to sit on his throne while she waits on him hand and foot like his servant.  He wants a from scratch home cooked meal waiting for him every single day.  I don't even think Rao's and Barilla would cut it for him.  The way he acted about the party it was like his expectations of her were way off the charts.

When I worked full time I always did most of the cooking but that was by choice because I love to cook and I'm a good cook.  But my husband wouldn't have gotten on his throne and dictated to me like he was my master that I should cook for him every day, like Olajuwon is doing.  It would be just as bad if I demanded that he did all the cooking every day.  But I would never have demanded that.  I never demanded that he take out the garbage but he did it because he knew it was a struggle for me to lift heavy things.  And of course he always did the washing up after dinner because he is considerate about that.  I think Olaj is immature and unsophisticated, and not being reasonable.  I think Katina sees the big picture with him and compared to the other men she's been involved with he looks like a catch, so she's deliberately not having conflicts with him over this.....yet, anyway.  I just wonder how long she'll last because he seems to be getting worse every week.  

Edited March 4, 2022 by Yeah No
grammar

[Yeah No]

3 hours ago, qtpye said:

However, these men still expected me to handle all or most of the housework. and cooking. What was really fucked up was that it was encouraged that a woman brings home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never let him forget that he's a man. The feminists seem to think women had to do everything.

That wasn't the feminist ideal originally.  The ideal was that working women should have men that shared the housework with them equally.  Unfortunately as women went to work in record numbers in the '70s and '80s they found that the men weren't on board with their new expectations.  Women were being "liberated" but men were still stuck in the '50s in terms of expectations, so the women ended up doing it all and being very unhappy about it.  Even the younger men who paid lip service to wanting to split things evenly had a very different idea of what that meant in practice.  And if you want my 2p that's one reason the divorce rate went way up.

[endure]

On 3/2/2022 at 5:25 PM, Crashcourse said:

Wow, I forgot this was even on, just tuned in to see Jasmina and Michael at the picnic.  Jasmina is a bitch.

Jasmine reminds me of a teacher that I couldn’t stand.

[endure]

On 3/2/2022 at 5:30 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

So is this Olajuwon treating Katina like a queen? Or even better, yet another of his tests? Hey Olajuwon, the 50’s called and it wants your ideas of marriage back.

YES to your post!  He is horrible to her and he is turning the word wife into a dirty word, and it’s all about what he thinks and demands.  Is he for real 😧 

Edited March 4, 2022 by endure

[endure]

On 3/2/2022 at 5:44 PM, Mr. Miner said:

What does Katina need from her huzzbind?

Semen errrrrr…salmon

[Gator Stud]

On 3/2/2022 at 6:38 PM, Straycat80 said:

This is so boring and depressing. I’d rather see what the dogs and cats are doing. I hate to admit it but I kinda miss Alyssa and Chris. 

At this point Adults Adopting Adults is more interesting, though its a horrific show,