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S10.E15: David's Journey


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Growing up in foster care, David suffered from a lack of attention and didn't develop a sense of self-worth. Now he weighs 800 pounds, and he's relying on his favorite foster mom to support him as he finds the motivation to change and save his own life.

Original air date 2022.02.09

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I had a tough time watching this episode, and shut it off after he gained before surgery. These are the reasons it was making me uncomfortable:

1. Mr. Snarkish's name is David, his father is also David, and before his father was adopted by his StepDad, his last name was Nelson.

2. Pounder David looks ridiculously like Mr. Snarkish in the face. Same coloring, eyes, nose, dark beard (Mr. Snarkish's is trimmed). To the point Mini Snarkish walked into the room, looked at the TV, looked at Mr. Snarkish and announced, "Is this one of your younger brothers?!  This will be you if  you keep gaining weight!"

2. Mr. Snarkish is about 300 pounds and several doctors have already asked him to consider WLS which he refuses to do. 

So...yeah. It was uncomfortable to watch because I felt like I was looking at my husband after another 400 pounds. But, I recorded so will go back and finish later day.

Also, Robin is on FB (Robin Villareal). I couldn't find an account for David. I was getting the loony vibes too. Wondering if she fostered without a husband or her own children? 

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26 minutes ago, libgirl2 said:

Did David ever say what became of his real mother? I missed some of the beginning. 

I don't think so, all I recall him saying was that she was 13 when she had him and on cocaine. I believe he went into the foster system immediately

Edited by magemaud
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14 minutes ago, magemaud said:

I don't think so, all I recall him saying was that she was 13 when she had him and on cocaine. I believe he went into the foster system immediately

Thanks. I was thinking maybe Robin is his real mother and he doesn't know it. Not sure if the ages match up and more than likely that child did not end up doing well but I hope that isn't the case. 

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 I was aghast that his adoptive parents "returned" him. WTF? 

Technically they were his foster parents. They didn't legally adopt him. But it was still a shit thing to do and he shouldn't have been in foster care for a decade without finding a more permanent placement.

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There are some programs for those over 18. It varies by state. 

A few years back, Federal law changed allowing states to use Federal funds to extend formal foster care to age 21. Many states did this. But the research does show that kids who "age out" of foster care have greater risks in a number of areas. There are great programs out there but many of these young people get out of foster care and have no real connections to anyone. David in some ways is one of the lucky ones in that he had a foster mom that was still able and willing to help him in young adulthood; a lot of youth who age out of care don't even have that. It's sad.

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11 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Technically they were his foster parents. They didn't legally adopt him. But it was still a shit thing to do and he shouldn't have been in foster care for a decade without finding a more permanent placement.

 

It was. Such a sad comment on our foster system. There are really good people out there but it seems a high percentage are shit. 

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6 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

I hope David succeeds. He seemed like a nice guy. He wore clothes and shoes, lived in a nice home. I was aghast that his adoptive parents "returned" him. WTF? 

Among other benefits, foster kids get free college, so he's had chances.

He wore shoes and lived in a nice home courtesy of Robin.  The more I think about his "We met on Saturday, in the house on Monday" remark followed by a smirk, the more I think he may have some degree of sociopathy.  It's thought to be largely inherited, and a chaotic early life can excacerbate this.

That was creepy, IMO.

It seems pretty clear he's using his "mother" (and his looks?) to live a comfortable and easy life.

I just hope the bond is ONLY emotional!

Edited by all4mom2
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45 minutes ago, all4mom2 said:

Among other benefits, foster kids get free college, so he's had chances.

He wore shoes and lived in a nice home courtesy of Robin.  The more I think about his "We met on Saturday, in the house on Monday" remark followed by a smirk, the more I think he may have some degree of sociopathy.  It's thought to be largely inherited, and a chaotic early life can excacerbate this.

That was creepy, IMO.

It seems pretty clear he's using his "mother" (and his looks?) to live a comfortable and easy life.

I just hope the bond is ONLY emotional!

Former foster youth get relatively few benefits. They can get funds for college but those funds don't always cover all expenses. Plus foster youth who may have moved around a lot could have incomplete education records or may not have had anyone really sit down with them, explain the benefits of college and how to access financial supports, etc. Sure David had some chances but he was born addicted to crack, went straight into foster care and was bounced around a fair amount with what sounds like very little treatment for his different issues. He was physically abused in foster care and it sounds like he was neglected as well.

I don't see anything about David's life that is either "comfortable" or "easy."

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Not until the day he met Robbin' (the Cradle), but it's been smooth sailing ever since!  Of course, it's not "easy" being morbidly obese, but that's on him.  He was given all the love and support and tools to lose, and he blew his chance at that, too.  I don't believe he has any intention of ever getting out on his own...  Literally, ever leaving that house!  His obesity is a great excuse not to have to.  I'm not so sure that Robin really wants him to, either...

Edited by all4mom2
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2 hours ago, all4mom2 said:

Among other benefits, foster kids get free college, so he's had chances.

He wore shoes and lived in a nice home courtesy of Robin.  The more I think about his "We met on Saturday, in the house on Monday" remark followed by a smirk, the more I think he may have some degree of sociopathy.  It's thought to be largely inherited, and a chaotic early life can excacerbate this.

That was creepy, IMO.

It seems pretty clear he's using his "mother" (and his looks?) to live a comfortable and easy life.

I just hope the bond is ONLY emotional!

I completely agree about him having a degree of sociopathy. I think Robin described him as charming. I would describe him as manipulative and there was an undertone of mocking and anger in the way he spoke to Robin in his "teasing" way. I think he wants to just move from Robin's sofa to his bed and have her bring him food. 

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6 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

Thanks. I was thinking maybe Robin is his real mother and he doesn't know it

hmmm, that's an intriguing thought but it would be a huge coincidence that she found him. Still, it's not out of the realm of possibility. Whatever, they seem to have a strange relationship. 

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3 hours ago, Morgalisa said:

I would describe him as manipulative and there was an undertone of mocking and anger in the way he spoke to Robin in his "teasing" way.

That reminds me, some people thought he was having trouble with multiplication when he was ordering the jalapeno poppers. I took it as him being snotty and mocking the girl in the drive up window when she was confused and he said, "What's three times nine? 27? I want 27 poppers..."

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I'm not sure what I think about this guy. I do feel very bad for him and for all he had to endure in the foster care system and as an adopted child who was given back to the system.  David's struggles to lose weight are all the more difficult when he hasn't had the love and support to teach him how to love and take good care of himself.

Some of the things I wonder about are:

-Where are the other kids who he was adopted with?  Was he able to form a bond with them? 

-Why did the neighbor, who was a police officer (or had been a police officer?), just take notes about what was going on at the 10 day party when the parents were gone? Why wouldn't he call the police right away to break up the party?  The teens could have destroyed the house; someone could have died.  That doesn't make sense to me.

-Was his 13 year old birth mother really a cocaine addict?  That whole story really didn't make sense. 13 is a child- this is a girl who was sexually assaulted by someone. There has to be more to the story than David gave. Would he even know that much about his mother? Did she ever try to get him back?  What about the rest of his birth family?

-He stated that he made the decision to leave school with a 0.0 grade point average. Would he have had the luxury to make the decision to leave school on his own or would he have been removed by the school at that point?

I question a lot of what he said.

David right away reminded me of certain inmates that I have worked with. On the surface, he is personable and enjoyable to be around, smart and sensitive to other's moods.  But, underneath there is something else going on that isn't positive. Robin was very off and their relationship was cringe-worthy. It seemed like Robin doesn't have children (does anyone know?) and didn't know how to treat David as an adult child.  Their interactions were very odd.

Edited by Ms. Me
just one more thing...
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About the 10 day party, that he told Dr. Paradise about with lurid details, it wasn't broken up by police because the officer next door who filmed everything called the foster parents, and they told him to just film it.    That's why David was booted out, it wasn't that the foster parents just changed their mind.   David's story was they were adopting him, but if he was a foster to adoption, and had that party with underage drugs, and drinking with 100+ people I wouldn't have wanted him in my house either.   He's lucky the house owners didn't have him arrested, he would have done years I bet.   

I'm surprised the birth mother's parental rights weren't severed, and he would be eligible for adoption.  Or when he was eligible, he was older, and had a smaller chance of being adopted.  However, if his behavior was anything like the party episode, maybe by the time he was able to be adopted, no one wanted him.    Robin did say something about no one wanted to foster him after the party happened, and he was 16 or 17 by then.  

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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I feel like we’ve only gotten half of the real story from David . I’m thinking he won’t be successful in the long run. 
 I really like Dr Paradise, and am wondering what happened to Dr Lola? She was really good with people on this show as a caring therapist.

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On 2/10/2022 at 8:15 PM, CarolMK said:

I feel like we’ve only gotten half of the real story from David . I’m thinking he won’t be successful in the long run. 
 I really like Dr Paradise, and am wondering what happened to Dr Lola? She was really good with people on this show as a caring therapist.

She's still active on Twitter, so she's still practicing, and OK.   I worry about people too when they aren't on TV anymore.   Maybe she's not interested in being in a little room with the camera crew, and poundticipants? 

I doubt David's story of being adopted, and then kicked out at 16 or 17.   If you're legally adopted, you can't just be kicked out, unless the adoptive parents pay support (I know someone who had a daughter who claimed she wanted to go to foster care, and mother was told she would have to pay child support to the state until she hit 18).    You can't just nullify an adoption, people have tried, and it very seldom happens.    

You can adopt through the foster system, but since they always try to reunify families, that often doesn't work out.   

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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4 hours ago, magemaud said:

hmmm, that's an intriguing thought but it would be a huge coincidence that she found him. Still, it's not out of the realm of possibility. Whatever, they seem to have a strange relationship. 

Also, Robin is at least in her 50s, and David is only 30. If she had him when she was 13, he would’ve been born in the 70s or early 80s. 

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7 hours ago, CarolMK said:

I feel like we’ve only gotten half of the real story from David . I’m thinking he won’t be successful in the long run. 
 I really like Dr Paradise, and am wondering what happened to Dr Lola? She was really good with people on this show as a caring therapist.

She would have made him write a letter to his 13-year old cocaine addicted mother.  That's all she ever did.

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I thought David said he was in foster care until he was about 6, and then a couple - the Nelsons - adopted him, another boy and two sibling sisters.  He was with them for about 10/11 years, and then the party happened.

I agree with @CrazyInAlabama.  He was old enough to know better than to throw a 10-day-long party.  Can you imagine what the house looked like when the Nelsons got home?  It's unlikely this was the first behavioral problem they had with him, but they apparently wanted to make sure it wasn't the last.  

Robin was just "off" . . . why would you take on an expensive project like David to wait on, feed, etc.?

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50 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

I thought David said he was in foster care until he was about 6, and then a couple - the Nelsons - adopted him, another boy and two sibling sisters.  He was with them for about 10/11 years, and then the party happened.

I agree with @CrazyInAlabama.  He was old enough to know better than to throw a 10-day-long party.  Can you imagine what the house looked like when the Nelsons got home?  It's unlikely this was the first behavioral problem they had with him, but they apparently wanted to make sure it wasn't the last.  

 

If the really did adopt him, they still shouldn't have returned him. Would they do that with a biological child? Though in all honesty, I think they probably were pieces of work themselves. 

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 as an adopted child who was given back to the system.

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I doubt David's story of being adopted, and then kicked out at 16 or 17.   If you're legally adopted, you can't just be kicked out, unless the adoptive parents pay support (I know someone who had a daughter who claimed she wanted to go to foster care, and mother was told she would have to pay child support to the state until she hit 18).    You can't just nullify an adoption, people have tried, and it very seldom happens.   

I'm not sure that David was ever formally adopted. I had the impression that he remained in foster care all those years even though he was in a single (and it sounds like, crappy) placement.

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I'm surprised the birth mother's parental rights weren't severed, and he would be eligible for adoption.  Or when he was eligible, he was older, and had a smaller chance of being adopted.  However, if his behavior was anything like the party episode, maybe by the time he was able to be adopted, no one wanted him.    Robin did say something about no one wanted to foster him after the party happened, and he was 16 or 17 by then.  

It's likely that the birth mother's parental rights were severed but plenty of kids are legally free for adoption (on any given day, about 180,000 in the United States) and are never adopted. Older kids in general often don't have foster parents and end up in group care facilities.

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Was his 13 year old birth mother really a cocaine addict?  That whole story really didn't make sense. 13 is a child- this is a girl who was sexually assaulted by someone. There has to be more to the story than David gave. Would he even know that much about his mother? Did she ever try to get him back?  What about the rest of his birth family?

It's entirely possible that she was a cocaine addict. He could know that much about her and he could know more about his birth family.

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31 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

It's entirely possible that she was a cocaine addict. He could know that much about her and he could know more about his birth family.

Yes it is. Here in Chicago, an 11 year old was arrested for car jacking. Anything is possible. In HS (80s), I knew kids who did drugs at 13 years old. Sure most of the time it was pot, but we had some coke users. 

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15 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I doubt David's story of being adopted, and then kicked out at 16 or 17. 

He didn't say he was adopted; he said it was a permanent foster placement. I don't know the first thing about Idaho family law, so I don't know what that status means.

I was so hopeful for David when he was scheduled for surgery, and shocked that they didn't re-weigh him and discover the weight gain until he was already in a hospital gown. My guess is that that weighing wasn't for the actual gastric bypass, but for the pre-surgical endoscopy to confirm his anatomy.

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I think Dr. Now schedules all of the pre-surgery tests through his office, but the person just checks into the hospital the day of the surgery.   Then they do the day of surgery prep, including weigh the patient.   

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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On 2/11/2022 at 8:18 AM, libgirl2 said:

If the really did adopt him, they still shouldn't have returned him. Would they do that with a biological child? Though in all honesty, I think they probably were pieces of work themselves. 

Foster parents don't adopt you, although I suppose they could marry you as potentially in Robbin's case.  And if David was unceremonious "returned," maybe there was a good reason for it.  Most people find children with sociopathic characteristics unnerving, if not factually dangerous to have around themselves and other living things...  Think: "The Bad Seed."

Edited by all4mom2
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I am kinda surprised at some of the comments suggesting he is in love with his foster mother or that he is a sociopath. She seems like a loving and caring woman who wanted to give this forgotten guy a chance in life.

And being snarky, sarcastic and maybe a little manipulative, doesn’t make someone a sociopath. 

I thought he was trying hard and wanted a better life and I thought Robin kicked ass for seeing someone who desperately needed someone and answered the call. 

 

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He didn't say he was adopted; he said it was a permanent foster placement. I don't know the first thing about Idaho family law, so I don't know what that status means.

"Permanent foster care" used to be a more common disposition for foster care cases. It meant that a family said it would foster a child until he aged out at age 18 but wouldn't adopt him, which would have made him legally a member of the family, exactly as if he had been born a biological child to that family. There are a lot of reasons that foster families will agree to this arrangement and they aren't all bad, nor do they all signal a lack of love for or concern about the child. Child welfare has really tried hard to move away from this as a placement though because it leaves these kids to "age out" of care - to hit 18 and have no legal, permanent ties to anyone who could provide the type of support that extended families provide to young adults all the time. 

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Foster parents don't adopt you

Foster parents absolutely can and do adopt the children in their care. Some people go into foster parenting hoping to adopt a child. Others go into it wanting to provide a safe and loving space for a child to be while the biological family is healing or its being determined that the child cannot safely return to that family. 

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I am kinda surprised at some of the comments suggesting he is in love with his foster mother or that he is a sociopath. She seems like a loving and caring woman who wanted to give this forgotten guy a chance in life.

I'm going to take Robin at face value. She was a woman who was already involved as a foster parent and she saw an older kid who had few options, was closing in on aging out of care with no real connections to anyone and clearly already in need of a great deal of help. David was a kid who had screwed up some opportunities he had but he also walked through a lot of challenges very early in life, starting with being born addicted to crack and then abused and neglected in foster care. He saw stability and kindness in Robin.

Honestly I hope Robin is exactly what she presents herself to be and I hope there are a million more like her out there. There are a lot of kids who age out of foster care every year and many of them have no one, particularly no one older and wiser than they are to advise them on all the things that we called our parents for when we were in our early 20's (how to cook a Thanksgiving turkey; how to fold a fitted sheet; why it's important to set up a bank account and start paying into retirement from the very first paycheck). It makes me sad that seeing someone like Robin seems to lead to a lot of unsubstantiated conclusions that something hinky is going on when what she is doing is really what we need to give kids leaving foster care some support and stability as they move out of foster care into the real world.

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On 2/10/2022 at 1:55 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

I really tried to have sympathy for David, but I just couldn't.    His excuses for gaining all of that weight back were ridiculous. 

Just once I wish these pounders would not act totally baffled by the weight gain - he had to know his eating was off the rails.

To gain 38 pounds in two months he would have to eat an extra 133,000 calories in 60 days beyond the approximately 4500 calories a day it takes just to maintain his 600 pounds.

 That is some heavy duty denial.

 

Edited by Kenzie
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15 hours ago, Kenzie said:

To gain 38 pounds in two months he would have to eat an extra 133,000 calories in 60 days beyond the approximately 4500 calories a day it takes just to maintain his 600 pounds.

 That is some heavy duty denial.

 

In other words, every single day he was eating 5-6 times what he was supposed to be eating on Dr. Now's diet.  How could he not notice the difference vs. the two previous months when he was losing, even if he was still eating about twice the 1,200 he was supposed it?  He still about tripled his calories... unless he was hitting super-calorie dense stuff so amount of food seemed 'smallish' but calories stacked up...  of course, had he stuck to the approved foods, that wouldn't have happened, but I doubt he has the mental capacity to realize that 10 ounces of broccoli, 10 ounces of pork and 10 ounces of peanut butter chocolate cheesecake are not equivalent.

Edited by Hellga
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6 minutes ago, Hellga said:

. . . I doubt he has the mental capacity to realize that 10 ounces of broccoli, 10 ounces of pork and 10 ounces of peanut butter chocolate cheesecake are not equivalent.

And wasn't he the one slurping down a smoothie at a restaurant during the show.  Most smoothies are VERY high in calories, and don't belong on Dr. Now's diet.

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On 2/10/2022 at 6:42 AM, libgirl2 said:

He wore clothes and shoes, lived in a nice home. 

When they were first interviewing Robin, and she was a clean, well-dressed person, in a very nice, clean, bright, colorful home, it did not look like anything I had ever seen on this show!

On 2/10/2022 at 12:35 PM, libgirl2 said:

Thanks. I was thinking maybe Robin is his real mother and he doesn't know it. Not sure if the ages match up and more than likely that child did not end up doing well but I hope that isn't the case. 

IIRC, he said that his 13-year old mom was addicted to crack, not cocaine, and Robin did not look like what the typical crack-addict becomes.

On 2/10/2022 at 1:08 PM, all4mom2 said:

Among other benefits, foster kids get free college, so he's had chances.

Wondering where you are getting this from.  I had never heard this before so I did a quick Google search, and only found a few states with tuition assistance for foster kids, and they had dollar limits that wouldn't come close to paying for all of college.

On 2/10/2022 at 4:55 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

His excuses for gaining all of that weight back were ridiculous.  

He gave the classic...."there's a lot going on now", when there is literally nothing else that those people are doing.

On 2/10/2022 at 9:15 PM, CarolMK said:

 I really like Dr Paradise, and am wondering what happened to Dr Lola? She was really good with people on this show as a caring therapist.

Gotta disagree here.  She always came across to me as so phony and disingenuous, and one-note in her treatment approach.

On 2/12/2022 at 10:05 PM, Elizzikra said:

I'm going to take Robin at face value. She was a woman who was already involved as a foster parent and she saw an older kid who had few options, was closing in on aging out of care with no real connections to anyone and clearly already in need of a great deal of help. David was a kid who had screwed up some opportunities he had but he also walked through a lot of challenges very early in life, starting with being born addicted to crack and then abused and neglected in foster care. He saw stability and kindness in Robin.

Honestly I hope Robin is exactly what she presents herself to be and I hope there are a million more like her out there. 

It makes me sad that seeing someone like Robin seems to lead to a lot of unsubstantiated conclusions that something hinky is going on when what she is doing is really what we need to give kids leaving foster care some support and stability as they move out of foster care into the real world.

I found her a bit off-putting, and I see why some of the posters found their relationship hinky.  For example, IIRC, she said that when she met him at that foster kids event, she "fell in love with him".  I could see using language like that about a young child or a pet, but it sounds very weird about a 17-year old almost-man.  She also talked about some feature of his that she was "attracted to". This is language that has a hinky feel to it given that it is supposed to be a parent-child relationship.

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IIRC, I said David exhibited some sociopathic characteristics; not that he was a full-blown sociopath (although he might be).

As for Robin, she wouldn't be the first aging woman who feared growing old alone who fell for a younger man.

As I said, there was a whole TLC -- or possibly Discovery Channel -- series on the subject called "Cougar Wives."  It's a thing.

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Interesting to me that David had clearly watched previous seasons of the show because when he was talking about starting on the program before having visited Dr Now, he said that he will end up having to change his eating habit.  That is not a normal word usage, but we all know it's what Dr Now says.  I would have thought he would be better able to handle all of what was involved because of having known about it ahead of time, whereas some of these pounders seem genuinely surprised at what they have to do and give up.

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2 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

Interesting to me that David had clearly watched previous seasons of the show because when he was talking about starting on the program before having visited Dr Now, he said that he will end up having to change his eating habit.  That is not a normal word usage, but we all know it's what Dr Now says.

Maybe he lurks -- or even snarks -- here with us!

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watching supersized.  Fucking stupid Robin, sitting in the back seat with perfect makeup and taking pictures with the “Buffalo” (it’s a Texas Longhorn).  Her stupid wide eyed idiocy really bothered me. Her special brand of idiocy continued to the Dr Now visit.  
I feel like she’s boiled bunnies recently. 

Edited by Meowwww
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Did Robin remind anyone else of Jan from the Netflix docuseries "Abducted In Plain Sight?"

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Wow, Chumlee's really packed on the pounds, hope to see him back on Pawn Stars soon if he's able.  I thought he had weight loss surgery years ago.

Being that overweight must be very labor intensifying!

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