S02.E14: What the Pho?

[Talented Tenth]

4 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

But it was offensive to her. A simple google search will tell you about how people used yellow skin and slanted has derogatory terms towards a whole community of people. Hell Brandi from Dallas got in trouble for saying slant eyes and talking in a racist accent … this was about a women who probably had these terms hurled at her throughout her life. She wasn’t just being sensitive or cranky or whatever else you want to use to defend Mary using the term. Come on now. 

Words, context and tone matter.  "Slanted eyes" is not the same as "slant eyes".  Mary expressing that she loves a feature is not the same as someone using someone's features as an insult.  Jennie being offended doesn't mean Mary's intent was to offend.  Mary's not the most articulate person.  Did I miss something?  Jennie and Mary didn't have any beef or issues at this point, did they?  

[Keywestclubkid]

12 minutes ago, Talented Tenth said:

Words, context and tone matter.  "Slanted eyes" is not the same as "slant eyes".  Mary expressing that she loves a feature is not the same as someone using someone's features as an insult.  Jennie being offended doesn't mean Mary's intent was to offend.  Mary's not the most articulate person.  Did I miss something?  Jennie and Mary didn't have any beef or issues at this point, did they?  

So you are telling Jennie how she should feel with someone saying something offensive to her? I'm lost here ..So its only racist when other people tell her that its racist then?

And yes they have beef .. Jennie said in that talking head that if it wasn't her event she would have freaked out on Mary for being Racist with the Slant eye comment

Edited December 21, 2021 by Keywestclubkid

[WhatAmIWatching]

34 minutes ago, Talented Tenth said:

Words, context and tone matter.  "Slanted eyes" is not the same as "slant eyes".  Mary expressing that she loves a feature is not the same as someone using someone's features as an insult.  Jennie being offended doesn't mean Mary's intent was to offend.  Mary's not the most articulate person.  Did I miss something?  Jennie and Mary didn't have any beef or issues at this point, did they?  

I believe you're trolling, but I'll just drop this here from dictionary.com. Read and scroll down the entire page:

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/slant-eyed
 

Using the words Slanted (slant, slanty) eyes when referring to an Asian person is highly offensive and definitely racist.

Please stop.

[pasdetrois]

24 minutes ago, WhatAmIWatching said:

I believe you're trolling

Not the first time on these boards. The Ignore Content tool is very useful.

Anyone notice that Lisa said "phoh" (long o) the first time, and corrected her pronunciation later? I made the same mistake many years ago. But I laughed at Lisa because she always insists she knows everything.

Also, Mary said something like "I'm glad you resume back to me." It struck me as an example of disordered speech (thought disorder). Sometimes her difficulty with speaking is very obvious.

I have criticized Heather's facial "upgrades" and makeup because they are so odd. At the luncheon it was clear she'd had her makeup professionally done, and it made a remarkable difference.

So Heather's brother suddenly decided to leave the church and talk about it on TV? I believe Heather has a lot of siblings - this could take a while.

I will never see Meredith without thinking "Buddy Hackett." It is hilarious.

 

 

 

Edited December 21, 2021 by pasdetrois

[princelina]

3 hours ago, Alonzo Mosely FBI said:

Before that I found it slightly problematic that Meredith (I think) maybe it was Lisa said she straightened her hair when they talked about their outfits upon arrival. Why straighten your hair, is that what makes you look Asian? The outfits? Stereotypes. Cultural appropriation. Ignorant. 

Yeah but in that case I thought it seemed like they had been told to dress up for a "Vietnam/Asian Peace Garden Dinner" and with these ladies and their weird penchant for dress-up, that's what you get 😄

 

12 minutes ago, pasdetrois said:

I have criticized Heather's facial "upgrades" and makeup because they are so odd. At the luncheon it was clear she'd had her makeup professionally done, and it made a remarkable difference.

Heather and Jen both have ENORMOUS faces - and as they do not in their younger photos, I'm assuming it's the result of whatever they've done.  Every time I see either of them I think of Edna the Big-Faced Girl from Wings 😄

[greeneyedscorpio]

2 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

So you are telling Jennie how she should feel with someone saying something offensive to her? I'm lost here ..So its only racist when other people tell her that its racist then?

And yes they have beef .. Jennie said in that talking head that if it wasn't her event she would have freaked out on Mary for being Racist with the Slant eye comment

I also noticed that Jennie was taken aback by the "yellow tones" comment, but refrained.  

[greeneyedscorpio]

1 hour ago, pasdetrois said:

 

Anyone notice that Lisa said "phoh" (long o) the first time, and corrected her pronunciation later? I made the same mistake many years ago. But I laughed at Lisa because she always insists she knows everything.

 

 

Lisa:  "I've been making Pho (pronounced incorrecty) since I was 4 years old.  I'm an expert at it."  Proceeds to mispronounce it until she notices everyone else is pronouncing it "Fu".

Just like the race track in Vegas in Season 1 and the recent horseback riding adventure.  I just can't with this woman.  😂

Edited December 21, 2021 by greeneyedscorpio

[WhatAmIWatching]

2 hours ago, pasdetrois said:

Not the first time on these boards. The Ignore Content tool is very useful.

Anyone notice that Lisa said "phoh" (long o) the first time, and corrected her pronunciation later? I made the same mistake many years ago. But I laughed at Lisa because she always insists she knows everything.

Also, Mary said something like "I'm glad you resume back to me." It struck me as an example of disordered speech (thought disorder). Sometimes her difficulty with speaking is very obvious.

I have criticized Heather's facial "upgrades" and makeup because they are so odd. At the luncheon it was clear she'd had her makeup professionally done, and it made a remarkable difference.

So Heather's brother suddenly decided to leave the church and talk about it on TV? I believe Heather has a lot of siblings - this could take a while.

I will never see Meredith without thinking "Buddy Hackett." It is hilarious.

 

 

 

You're right, and thank you! I need to remember to use some of Meredith's disengage! (In case there is actual and true ignorance, I wanted to put the link to allow for education.)

I remember on the promos for the first season, when they had the profile stills of Heather and Meredith (before we knew who they were) and I was amazed out how large Heather's head and face were compared to Meredith's. She is really interesting looking, and I think would look great without all of the plastic mods.

We just watched Buddy Hackett on the old Johnny Carson reruns and I couldn't stop thinking of these threads and laughing. My husband kept saying that Hackett's really funny isn't he? 🤣 😂 

 

52 minutes ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

Lisa:  "I've been making Pho (pronounced incorrecty) since I was 4 years old.  I'm an expert at it."  Proceeds to mispronounce it until she notices everyone else is pronouncing it "Fu".

Just like the race track in Vegas in Season 1 and the recent horseback riding adventure.  I just can't with this woman.  😂

I know, right?! 🤣 I love that they keep showing her bragging at being an expert at all things, and then showing the footage that proves she's not. She is a piece of work! 

[SemiCharmedLife]

On 12/19/2021 at 7:49 PM, Marley said:

Meredith being over it did kind of crack me up and when she told Lisa to stop yelling. Why is Lisa always crying like calm down take a Xanax.

Not sure this needed to be an hour and a half.

Crying without tears!

Meredith may have a Xanax or two to lend her 😉

[SemiCharmedLife]

On 12/19/2021 at 9:27 PM, princelina said:

This is the oddest group of women Bravo has ever thrown together and asked us to pretend we believe they are all friends.

They're still learning about Jen and what happened so I'll give them a break on that.  But Jen's husband knows that they are renting that house for the show, so he knows it's not the "hub of both sides of the family" so I'm calling BS on him not knowing or at least suspecting her of being up to no good.

Mary's a creepy weirdo.  And I'm judging Meredith and Heather especially for pretending that they believed that Mary didn't judge Jen.

Meredith's boobs looked great at her "girls night" - oddly juxtaposed against her "plastic breastplate" TH.

If I ever see a man in a suit jacket with a Brooks Marks labeled tape connecting the lapels, I will go out and buy a can of paint and track him down to throw it at him, like those anti-fur protesters of yore 😂

I agree with your entire post, but regarding the highlighted portion...

Don't worry, I doubt very much you will ever see ANYONE wearing that!  😂

[emmawoodhouse]

42 minutes ago, SemiCharmedLife said:

I agree with your entire post, but regarding the highlighted portion...

Don't worry, I doubt very much you will ever see ANYONE wearing that!  😂

Dear lord, maybe Mere's breastplate blazer is a Brooks Marks design! 

Edited December 21, 2021 by emmawoodhouse

[SemiCharmedLife]

2 hours ago, emmawoodhouse said:

Dear lord, maybe Mere's breastplate blazer is a Brooks Marks design! 

All it needs is his signature name tape running across it! 😂

[Victoria Winters]

Maybe a criss cross of the Brooks Marks tape over that breastplate look ,that weirds me out EVERY time I see that talking head.

[Chatty Cake]

Jennie is acting with the whole Duy sister wife story. She had the perfect chance to go off on Mary for a big housewife moment but she just sat there and will save her fake outrage for later.

How about Coach Shahs mention of downsizing?

The whole lunch was bizarre.

[bichonblitz]

On 12/20/2021 at 10:37 AM, amarante said:

How is Mary allowed to get away with the slanty eye comment versus Brandy from Dallas? Not that I am defending Brandy who was a casual racist. Mary seems to be full of prejudices and a self hating black woman given her comments on fearing going into a store last season. 

Or that LeAnn was fired from Dallas for her Mexican comments, or the fact that RHONY was put on leave because of some of Ramona's racist comments about Eboni or Joe Guidice's of NJ comment about gay men (which he was not fired for) but was at least was called out for it at the time and at the reunion. I'm furious about it because there was hardly a mention of it afterwards or when it was said.  Mary pretends she's complimenting Jennie because she likes "slanty eyes". We and Jennie know exactly what she was doing. She is the most vicious human POS I have ever seen on a franchise and I'm so disappointed that nobody at that lunch said anything to her about it. 

That said, the food looked so delicious. Good job, Jennie. At least she tried to make a nice day for these classless weirdo's.   

[Mindthinkr]

28 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Or that LeAnn was fired from Dallas for her Mexican comments, or the fact that RHONY was put on leave because of some of Ramona's racist comments about Eboni or Joe Guidice's of NJ comment about gay men (which he was not fired for) but was at least was called out for it at the time and at the reunion. I'm furious about it because there was hardly a mention of it afterwards or when it was said.  Mary pretends she's complimenting Jennie because she likes "slanty eyes". We and Jennie know exactly what she was doing. She is the most vicious human POS I have ever seen on a franchise and I'm so disappointed that nobody at that lunch said anything to her about it. 

That said, the food looked so delicious. Good job, Jennie. At least she tried to make a nice day for these classless weirdo's.   

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Well said. 

[Keywestclubkid]

A little off topic but responding to the Leanne vs Brandi thing. Brandi did get in trouble and did the work to stay on the show vs Leanne not taking any ownership of her comments. Plus at the time it was one old video from Brandi which was horrible vs seasons of Leanne being racist and making threats against other housewives on her show.  Brandi's last season was supposed to be her redemption tour till it wasn’t( who knew these shows were so filled with racist/ (homophobic looking at you Atlanta cause that show has gotten away with some HEAVY homophobic shit from its cast) women.) So yes its bit different. 

Edited December 22, 2021 by Keywestclubkid

[Rambunctiouscurls]

I was absolutely salivating at the pho. Thanks Jennie! Their storyline is probably fake and makes zero sense unless Duy really is a giant asshole in which case I hope she gets a divorce.

I think Mary’s fall is coming and I am here for it.

Jen’s face is very hard to look at and I just realized why, thanks to a poster here, that maybe the eyebrows may have something to do with it. It’s just strange and that face terrifies me! 

What did we do to deserve not one but 2 scammers? Hopefully they both face consequences and it is televised. 
 

 
 

[TheCouchPotato]

Wow, I’m actually feeling bad for Jen Shah this episode. Talk about a bunch of self centered women that make it about themselves. Damn! 

[albarino]

I think there are too many prima donnas on this show.  Somebody should have told Meredith that she and Jen will be invited to all group events and she (Meredith) should plan accordingly.  I bet we would hear a lot less of the "her or me" discussion/ultimatum.

Mary isn't used to any push back of any sort but she deserves everything she gets.  I so wish at the lunch somebody would have said to the table, "We here in America believe people are innocent until proven guilty.  It is a bedrock of our democracy, actually.  Jen has a lot on her plate so lets's leave it at that."  The end.  Also, Mary?  Auditors gonna audit.  Just saying.

I can't figure Lisa out but she certainly has opinions she wants to share.  Doesn't seem like anybody really cares.

Jenny isn't scared of Mary and I'm here for it.  I'm also mad the lunch broke up early.  I assume there was another course I would have loved to hear about.

 

[Talented Tenth]

On 12/21/2021 at 12:58 PM, WhatAmIWatching said:

I believe you're trolling, but I'll just drop this here from dictionary.com. Read and scroll down the entire page:

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/slant-eyed
 

Using the words Slanted (slant, slanty) eyes when referring to an Asian person is highly offensive and definitely racist.

Please stop.

Are you Asian?  Slanted is a description of eyes.  Mary did not call her "slant eyes" or call Jennie anything.  Slanted is a shape of eyes.  Again, there are a lot of Black people who have slanted eyes as well and it is not used in a negative way to refer to eye shape.  How you choose to take something doesn't mean that's how Mary was giving it.  She was complimenting Jennie's eyes, using an accurate description of an eye shape.  It's not Mary's fault that racist people may have taken something innocuous and modified it to use as a pejorative.  If you google, "slant eyed" or "slant eyes" to refer to a person are the terms that are used negatively.  Using "slanted eyes" as an innocuous description of an eye shape is not historically or generally used as a slur.  You and others keep using the term "slant eyes" which is not what Mary said.  Slanted is an eye shape, not limited to Asians.

Not agreeing with you or having the same viewpoint as you doesn't make anyone a troll.  

[littleowl07]

1 hour ago, Talented Tenth said:

Are you Asian?  Slanted is a description of eyes.  Mary did not call her "slant eyes" or call Jennie anything.  Slanted is a shape of eyes.  Again, there are a lot of Black people who have slanted eyes as well and it is not used in a negative way to refer to eye shape.  How you choose to take something doesn't mean that's how Mary was giving it.  She was complimenting Jennie's eyes, using an accurate description of an eye shape.  It's not Mary's fault that racist people may have taken something innocuous and modified it to use as a pejorative.  If you google, "slant eyed" or "slant eyes" to refer to a person are the terms that are used negatively.  Using "slanted eyes" as an innocuous description of an eye shape is not historically or generally used as a slur.  You and others keep using the term "slant eyes" which is not what Mary said.  Slanted is an eye shape, not limited to Asians.

Not agreeing with you or having the same viewpoint as you doesn't make anyone a troll.  

When I saw your first post, my immediate thought was it was someone from Mary’s team trying to do damage control lol 😋

I find “slanty,” “slant,” and “slanted” to be interchangeable in this context so it doesn’t matter which exact word she used, it had the same meaning.

Like someone else mentioned, Jennie found it offensive, and no one has the right to say she shouldn’t feel that way. It almost comes across like victim blaming to me when you said she was upset because she’s insecure - someone made a unsolicited comment about her appearance, but she is wrong for not being OK with what was said?

Lastly, one of my closest friends (and roommate for 2 1/2 years) is Taiwanese, and I can guarantee you that she would be offended if someone made that comment about her. Perhaps you don’t find it offensive because you have not grown up with people using racial slurs to comment about your appearance?

Maybe to you or to Mary it doesn’t seem offensive, but because of the history of the term and for someone who has probably received comments like that throughout her life and more than likely not in a positive or flattering manner, it is racist and inappropriate to say. 

[Michichick]

3 hours ago, Talented Tenth said:

Are you Asian?  Slanted is a description of eyes.  Mary did not call her "slant eyes" or call Jennie anything.  Slanted is a shape of eyes.  Again, there are a lot of Black people who have slanted eyes as well and it is not used in a negative way to refer to eye shape.  How you choose to take something doesn't mean that's how Mary was giving it.  She was complimenting Jennie's eyes, using an accurate description of an eye shape.  It's not Mary's fault that racist people may have taken something innocuous and modified it to use as a pejorative.  If you google, "slant eyed" or "slant eyes" to refer to a person are the terms that are used negatively.  Using "slanted eyes" as an innocuous description of an eye shape is not historically or generally used as a slur.  You and others keep using the term "slant eyes" which is not what Mary said.  Slanted is an eye shape, not limited to Asians.

Not agreeing with you or having the same viewpoint as you doesn't make anyone a troll.  

Mary’s intent is immaterial. Jennie was offended. 

[bref]

4 hours ago, Talented Tenth said:

Not agreeing with you or having the same viewpoint as you doesn't make anyone a troll.  

Yeah, but I get the same vibe. You keep repeating the same points without acknowledging or answering the points other people are making in response, and you're doing it in defense of behavior that people--including the target--have identified as racist and offensive. It strikes me as very sea-lionish.

Edited December 23, 2021 by bref

[JonnieUniteUs]

On 12/20/2021 at 10:43 PM, bref said:

Mary's statements were "complimentary" about as much as telling a Black person how articulate they are.

Talented Tenth, just curious as to your thoughts on the above?

[janiema]

2 hours ago, Michichick said:

Mary’s intent is immaterial. Jennie was offended. 

At the very least, Mary is guilty of a micro-aggression.

[Talented Tenth]

7 hours ago, littleowl07 said:

When I saw your first post, my immediate thought was it was someone from Mary’s team trying to do damage control lol 😋

I find “slanty,” “slant,” and “slanted” to be interchangeable in this context so it doesn’t matter which exact word she used, it had the same meaning.

Like someone else mentioned, Jennie found it offensive, and no one has the right to say she shouldn’t feel that way. It almost comes across like victim blaming to me when you said she was upset because she’s insecure - someone made a unsolicited comment about her appearance, but she is wrong for not being OK with what was said?

Lastly, one of my closest friends (and roommate for 2 1/2 years) is Taiwanese, and I can guarantee you that she would be offended if someone made that comment about her. Perhaps you don’t find it offensive because you have not grown up with people using racial slurs to comment about your appearance?

Maybe to you or to Mary it doesn’t seem offensive, but because of the history of the term and for someone who has probably received comments like that throughout her life and more than likely not in a positive or flattering manner, it is racist and inappropriate to say. 

The terms aren't interchangeable though and there is a difference between describing an eye shape and referring to a person.  There are also lots of people of African descent who have slanted eyes.  For example, let's say in a region there were people bullied for having blue eyes.  Nobody else in life should be able to say they like someone's blue eye color?

[heatherchandler]

On 12/20/2021 at 6:40 PM, bref said:

"Slanted" is not a neutral, nor an accurate, description of what the eyes of Asian people look like; neither is calling their skin tone "yellow". These are highly charged terms with a racist history. Imagine if you "complimented" a Jewish person by saying you love their big Semitic nose, or told a black person you loved their nappy hair. Do you see why that would be a problem? I feel you are being deliberately obtuse here.

Mary's blase stereotyping of Blacks, Mexicans and Asians is pretty consistent. It's okay to call an obvious racist a racist.

She gets away with it because she’s surrounded by yes people and she thinks she can say whatever she wants.  She a monster.

 

On 12/21/2021 at 12:38 PM, princelina said:

Heather and Jen both have ENORMOUS faces - and as they do not in their younger photos, I'm assuming it's the result of whatever they've done.  Every time I see either of them I think of Edna the Big-Faced Girl from Wings 

“When you look at where a face is supposed to be, you see face. But if you look to either side, you see...more face.”

 

2 hours ago, Talented Tenth said:

The terms aren't interchangeable though and there is a difference between describing an eye shape and referring to a person.  There are also lots of people of African descent who have slanted eyes.  For example, let's say in a region there were people bullied for having blue eyes.  Nobody else in life should be able to say they like someone's blue eye color?

I see what you mean and I’m usually annoyed when people are looking for offense when there isn’t any.  I’m not pc I’m usually like, ok calm down.  And yes people can comment on liking someone’s eye color or shape (which is a strange thing to like…but that’s neither here nor there) but it’s just the fact that that particular turn of phrase has been used as a slur in the past.  Saying yellow tone is not great either.  It’s not that there is not a slant to the eye, it’s that it’s hurtful because it’s been used against people.  To hurt them.  Words do matter.

Edited December 23, 2021 by heatherchandler

[b2H]

On the topic of the compliment on Jennie's eyes, why couldn't it have been just left with 'you have beautiful eyes' without the adjective describing the eyes?

We wouldn't be talking about this without the descriptor in the compliment.

[TexasGal]

Let’s move on from the eye discussion please, it has bogged down the thread.  As a reminder, you can ignore other posters if their posts bother you.

[howiveaddict]

On 12/21/2021 at 1:41 PM, greeneyedscorpio said:

Lisa:  "I've been making Pho (pronounced incorrecty) since I was 4 years old.  I'm an expert at it."  Proceeds to mispronounce it until she notices everyone else is pronouncing it "Fu".

Just like the race track in Vegas in Season 1 and the recent horseback riding adventure.  I just can't with this woman.  😂

And her falling off the paddle board over and over in the cave.

[Keywestclubkid]

And this board came to a screeching halt... :) anyone still out there? :)

[Vanderboom]

7 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

And this board came to a screeching halt... :) anyone still out there? :)

Since you asked 😉 . . . I think I like Lisa more when she antagonizes Meredith as opposed to Whitney. I never got why the ladies keep fighting for Meredith's friendship. She doesn't strike me as being particularly kind, fun, smart, or charming. Maybe there's something off-screen that makes her attractive as a friend?

[Keywestclubkid]

13 hours ago, Vanderboom said:

Since you asked 😉 . . . I think I like Lisa more when she antagonizes Meredith as opposed to Whitney. I never got why the ladies keep fighting for Meredith's friendship. She doesn't strike me as being particularly kind, fun, smart, or charming. Maybe there's something off-screen that makes her attractive as a friend?

I couldn’t see being friends with either…Meredith and her monotone speaking voice and Brooks popping in sporadically nightmares I tell you  …and Lisa just to much to loud to ugh it feels like if she just talks over you really LOUD she’s right. No Lisa it just makes you high key annoying 

Edited December 28, 2021 by Keywestclubkid

[WhatAmIWatching]

2 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

I couldn’t see being friends with either…Meredith and her monotone speaking voice and Brooks popping in sporadically nightmares I tell you  …and Lisa just to much to loud to ugh it feels like if she just talks over you really LOUD she’s right. No Lisa it just makes you high key annoying 

I'm living for the ravine growing between Meredith and Lisa! Meredith's calm, slow, deliberate way of speaking makes Lisa's increasing volume, talking over her with the rapid-fire words, and the faux crying, look even worse. I had to rewind Meredith telling Lisa to stfu at the lunch just so I could laugh again.

 

[JonnieUniteUs]

On 12/27/2021 at 6:49 PM, Vanderboom said:

Since you asked 😉 . . . I think I like Lisa more when she antagonizes Meredith as opposed to Whitney. I never got why the ladies keep fighting for Meredith's friendship. She doesn't strike me as being particularly kind, fun, smart, or charming. Maybe there's something off-screen that makes her attractive as a friend?

Please delete. I was Too crude 😐😬

Edited December 29, 2021 by JonnieUniteUs

[MMLEsq]

Coming at "Mary's comment" from a slightly different angle:  I think it showed a lot of grace and maturity of Jennie not to react in the moment and to wait until later to (relatively) calmly inform Mary that the words she used were offensive.  What I'm surprised about is that not one of the other ladies reacted in the moment -- I would have bet good money that one of them would have piped up right away with a "hey there!, that's not something you should say," but I just re-watched the scene and it didn't look like anything even registered on their faces.  At least not from what we were shown.  

I can believe that Mary is just terribly socially isolated/uneducated (although it's hard to believe that most people wouldn't realize that the words she used were not appropriate), and that she really was trying to give Jennie a compliment, but when corrected later (next episode), she should have apologized (profusely!) rather than doubling down.  My takeaway is that Mary, even after being informed, still seems to believe that she really didn't do anything wrong.

[lasu]

On 1/6/2022 at 10:04 AM, MMLEsq said:

I can believe that Mary is just terribly socially isolated/uneducated (although it's hard to believe that most people wouldn't realize that the words she used were not appropriate), and that she really was trying to give Jennie a compliment, but when corrected later (next episode), she should have apologized (profusely!) rather than doubling down.  My takeaway is that Mary, even after being informed, still seems to believe that she really didn't do anything wrong.

Yes.  This is where the problem comes in for me.  Mary said something that Jennie and other people find offensive.  If she meant it as a compliment, and truly didn't know it was offensive, then it would have shown - she would have apologized to Jennie and said she wouldn't use that word again.  It's ok to say the wrong thing - but when someone tells you you've said something offensive, the answer isn't just to tell them they are wrong to be offended.  If you step on my toes, shit happens.  But if you continue to just stand there and tell me I'm wrong to be upset you are just hanging out on my feet, then we have a problem.

For example, about million years ago, I called something "gay" in front of a group of my friends.  It sounds dumb now, but I never made the connection, and in my heart, I can tell you I didn't mean to offend anyone.  My INTENT wasn't to offend anyone...but I did offend someone.  It was super embarrassing and didn't line up with the way I thought of myself.  But I didn't tell my friend he was wrong to be offended.  I apologized and never used "gay" in a negative way again.  Why would I want to debate my friend on whether or not he had the right to be upset at my choice of words?

[TeeMo]

Meredith and Lisa responded to Jennie’s revelation that her husband suggested a sister wife the way my friends would respond to me asking if I should get bangs - a bit of a eyebrow raise, a shrug and a “I couldn’t do it.” Clearly this is just some dumb storyline Jennie cooked up for herself and everyone else knows it. If one of my friends told me her husband suggested a sister wife I would spit out my drink and fall off my chair. I realize this is Utah but come on.