S13.E16: Weighing the Decision

[Spectator]

1 hour ago, cinsays said:

I'd be afraid she tie him to the bed, playfully, you know......... and then stab him to death

Yep. I could see her keeping an ice pick under the mattress, ready to strike whenever the mood strikes her, a la Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. 

Run Zack. Run. I don’t care how great the sex is. 

[Retired at last]

Just now, Spectator said:

Yep. I could see her keeping an ice pick under the mattress, ready to strike whenever the mood strikes her, a la Sharon Stone in Basic Instinct. 

Yep and I keep seeing her as that door scene in The Shining with her eyes all big and scary. He also could come home and find that she is making Bunny Soup like in Fatal Attraction. That would work.

[Crashcourse]

That's why I've said any woman watching this show might be afraid to date Zack because they know he has a crazy ex-wife.  Plus, I could see him dating someone new but still having sex with Michaela on the sly.   

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, Retired at last said:

From what I heard from someone whose daughter worked with Luke, they go to their regular jobs (not taking 2 months off - just the 2 weeks for the honeymoon) and most of the filming is at night or the weekends. Unless things are going well, these people don't spend that much time together or even at their shared apartment. And this season, it looks like many haven't even been staying at the apartment. 

That makes sense .. thanks 😀

[StatisticalOutlier]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I don't know I think it may be more about the money with José than the travel.  He has made it clear that those big trips are budget busters as far as he's concerned and that's why he's suggesting smaller trips.  If not for the money I don't think he would be so against the travel. 

Boy, I don't know.  He likes to go skiing, and talk about busting one's budget.  Lift tickets are now $200/day at major resorts!  And Rachel could go only at Christmas or spring break, when everything is more expensive, and crowded.  And it would do nothing for her desire to travel during the summer.

I'm kind of liking @buttersister's theory that Jose feels insecure outside Texas or Vegas.  (And outside Texas doesn't include ski resorts in Colorado, because they're crawling with Texans.)  He grew up in a far suburb of Houston and has stayed there, and considers going to San Antonio or Fredericksburg "travel."  I can see how he would find more far-flung travel, especially internationally, intimidating, and really wouldn't want to spend money on that. 

And on that note, what in the world would he go to Fredericksburg for?  I just don't see that as a destination for a man in his 30s. 

[kristen111]

1 hour ago, Retired at last said:

I guess there is not much to say because it has all been said before - many times. The pace of this show is ridiculous. We see/hear the same things every week. With all the filler episodes and scenes, there is really about 4 weeks of show.

Rachel and Jose are just a horrible couple. He, with his devil face, just creeps me out. She, with her rate of speaking and her serious, solemn face like she is saying something so deep and profound, when she really says NOTHING is too annoying. Of course, she should travel with her friends. She wants her husband to do what SHE wants, but he doesn't want to - so quit complaining, you know who he is, and find some travel buddies. Now, if he gives her a hard time, and she has identified that this is something she truly wants to do - dump him. Do your traveling during the summer and stop making it a big deal. If they stay together, it won't last. She is always waiting for the NEXT time he rages and then will say she is done; he is waiting for her to cheat again, which I think she will. And then, HE will leave.  Awful couple.

This was the first time we have really seen Myrla say anything about the status of the marriage and her goals. Usually she says she is happy with her husband. I continue to think that they have been playing the game all season and they know it will not work. I hope they did have some fun together, though. 

Ryan is just frustrating. When he is on Unfiltered or a TH, he has a personality. When he is with Brett, he gives her nothing. I know he is not attracted to her in any way and that is challenging. He knows she is a great person, but if the sparks aren't there, there is nothing either of them can do. What is frustrating is that he seems to want to say the right things, but when he is with her, nothing comes out. He is not a bad guy, just the wrong guy for her. I am glad that she is finally seeing the end, and while she is disappointed, she knows she deserves much better. It is still so sad to see her being so hurt and broken down.

Johnny is just an ass and his waffling back and forth is not believable. He checked out as soon as he recognized her as someone he wasn't attracted to or interested in 15 years ago. I like Bao, and she does realize that she is in her head too much. Hope she finds a nice guy and they all just back away from their wish lists. Johnny deserves to be alone until he finishes years of therapy.

There is nothing to say about Zack and Michaela. She can pretend that she is fine and just has to work on a few things, but she is no where near being ready for a relationship. I do think that Zack does think she is great, but that is when she is calm Michaela and not getting ready to throw furniture at him. He can't take a chance that he could come home and find her waiting to cut his head off. (Think Jack Nicholson in The Shining.)

I hope when they have D Day next week (FINALLY), they let the women give their answers first. I don't want to see Bao humiliated again if Johnny says no. Same with Brett - let her go first. I think both Jose and Rachel will say yes, although they will waffle around and won't last a year, but it doesn't matter. I have gained an appreciation for Myrla and want her to go first and just get it over with. I think she will say no. I don't want Michaela to say yes, because Zack will say no and as much as I don't really like her, I don't want her to be hurt even more.

And this is supposed to be entertaining?

 

 

GREAT POST !  You said it all.

[seacliffsal]

People from this season I could be friends with...Myrla (because we would each pay for our own food/drinks), Brett (because she seems like she likes to laugh and not take life so seriously), Ryan (because it's only Brett with whom he doesn't seem to interact but he has shown that he likes to do things [oh, and would only go to Happy Hour with either/or, NEVER both), and Michaela (because I wouldn't do anything to set her off as we would just be drinking and gossiping...).  All the rest would drive me crazy (Bao and Rachel are always so serious and take an awful lot of words to say something; Gil because he would just lecture me the whole time; Zach as he would never know what he wanted [I'll have this, no-that, no-the first thing, etc.]; Johnny because the way he sees himself is not how he is; and Jose because he wouldn't want to spend the money to go to Happy Hour).

The only new thing I learned from this episode was when Gil told his mother than Myrla wants him to pay all of the bills and not use her own money for the bills.  That explained quite a bit to me why he is always talking to her about her spending.  It sounds like she only wants to spend her money on what she wants to spend it on and not on their living expenses.  That's unacceptable to me (and I always made more money than anyone I dated).  Pay towards expenses and then spend the rest how you want.  If Gil was telling the truth I can better understand his concern over her spending.  

Rachel is very uncompromising.  I've gone on so many "major" vacations with friends and families and have had many friends who have also left their loved ones at home to travel with me because the significant others didn't want to travel.  It is really no big deal, but if that is Rachel's deal breaker then she best move on from Jose. 

Bao really exposed the primary issue between her and Johnny.  She stated that when she saw it was Johnny she felt like the luckiest girl in the world while Johnny has told us that he didn't like Bao then and doesn't now.  They are both stuck on their initial impressions of each other (from 15 years ago!) and haven't seen the real person behind those impressions.

And every week we have more proof about why all of these participants were single...

[mythoughtis]

43 minutes ago, seacliffsal said:

The only new thing I learned from this episode was when Gil told his mother than Myrla wants him to pay all of the bills and not use her own money for the bills.  That explained quite a bit to me why he is always talking to her about her spending.  It sounds like she only wants to spend her money on what she wants to spend it on and not on their living expenses.  That's unacceptable to me (and I always made more money than anyone I dated).  Pay towards expenses and then spend the rest how you want.  If Gil was telling the truth I can better understand his concern over her spending.  

I got the impression that Gil FELT he should pay for everything because that’s how father and Myrla’s father’s cultures both were.  He commented that he would have  no money left If he did that. I don’t think Myrla expects him to pay every bill… but I think she  expects him to pay half even though she makes 2/3 of the money. Half of whatever amount of expenses she thinks are important- her choice of the area they live in, the furniture, the price of home etc.  Because she won’t reduce her spending to make up for the income disparity nor will she reduce her lifestyle choices. I also think she expects him to come up with his half of the money for 5 star hotels and vacations at the locales she wants. Which he can’t do and she won’t budge on using her money for his travel or reducing her travel/ meal/ entertainment choices to ones that he can pay half on. 
When there is an income disparity, the spouse  with the higher income needs to pay a similar portion of bills if you are keeping money separate.  So she should pay 2/3 of the monthly bills and expenses, and 2/3 of the travel expenses. 
In our case, we’ve always combined our money and based our spending and monthly bills on what the combined income could afford. There’s never been one discussion in 31+ years regarding the fact that I make more money than he does because I don’t think of things that way.  I don’t ever think that I should be able to keep more money in my purse  than he does in his wallet.

Edited November 4, 2021 by mythoughtis

[ChiMama]

11 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

11 hours ago, NowVoyager said:

Zach is afraid to tell Michaela an outright "no" because he doesn't want her to go full hurricane, punching the air, flipping tables. He's trying to let her down easy. Smart. Plus, it leaves the door open for sex.

 

I thought it was interesting the difference in how Michaela & Zach described their interaction after the Dr. Pepper session. Michaela let her sister BELIEVE they’d had sex, but Zach mentioned nothing about her staying over, etc. - he told Gil they had lunch & conversation. I don’t trust Michaela’s sly version of events tbh. 

[Shauna]

Kind of shocked to hear either Myrla or Gil say that Myrla makes nearly twice as much as Gil.  Someone researched and said entry positions start at about $34k.  Double that is about $68k.  That doesn't seem like much to me.  I would have guessed at over $100k they way they've been talking about money and her want for expensive things.  Not impressed.

[Empress1]

26 minutes ago, Shauna said:

Kind of shocked to hear either Myrla or Gil say that Myrla makes nearly twice as much as Gil.  Someone researched and said entry positions start at about $34k.  Double that is about $68k.  That doesn't seem like much to me.  I would have guessed at over $100k they way they've been talking about money and her want for expensive things.  Not impressed.

Here’s a list. Entry-level firefighters (1-2 years in) make mid-to-high 40s. If Myrla makes twice that, that’s $90-100K. It’s also worth noting that based on that list, Gil will never make as much as Myrla, even if he goes as far as is possible to go and including the bilingual pay I assume he gets. Whereas Myrla could likely continue to grow her earnings as a consultant beyond what she’s making now (and I’m sure she’s thought of that given that she says she’s motivated my money). Gil’s job is probably more stable that Myrla’s though.

Also, firefighters should make more.

Edited November 4, 2021 by Empress1

[Marley GMA]

16 hours ago, mythoughtis said:

I actually found it interesting.  It appears that every couple had to talk to friends or family and also have a talk with each other.  I think several were honest in what they were concerned about.  Others not so much. 
 

we did get  info on Gil and Myrla’s income disparity.  Based on what he said- Myrla makes twice as much as he does. They also both come from families where the father paid for everything.  That’s a lot of his concern right there.  He can’t pay for everything at the level Myrla spends.  Now she doesn’t expect him to pay her way ….but they need to learn to live on one income because things happen. 
Rachel doesn’t think that Jose listens because he doesn’t immediately agree to European and Asian vacations.   She doesn’t listen to him either. 

I loved Bao saying No means we are done  

 

 

Exactly, I said on another thread that he (Jose) listens just fine.  He just does NOT want to travel and if that is a deal breaker, move on because he will not go!

 

[glitterpussy]

14 hours ago, Yeah No said:

And I don't think she should have to consider leaving her job for children after a maternity leave.

Totally. Gil should do that if they want a stay at home parent, since he makes less!

[Shauna]

At first I liked Gil and didn't like Myrla.  I've flipped now as the narrative (which I hope is wrong) is him constantly ripping into her about this or that.  Super annoying.

And someone up thread said they never had sex.  I think we saw in previews that he admitted they had sex.  I believe they agreed not to discuss it on camera.

[Elizzikra]

Quote

The more I get to know him the less I like him. He’s at the age he should be educated and pretty well settled and moving up in his chosen field. He’s not either 

He seems settled. He's a firefighter. He has to have a HS diploma and he may have some college or even a four year degree. I'm not sure how much more "educated" he needs to be in order to be successful in his chosen field. He's in an entry level position but that's fine - he literally just started working in that area. I don't love Gil but there is nothing wrong with his level of education or his chosen profession.

Quote

She’s so glad she went as her husband doesn’t like to travel out of the country.  That’s what Rachel should do.  Go on a tour.  Some men don’t like that stuff, so why force them. 

There are women who hate to travel and men who love to travel. It's not a gender thing.

I think that Rachel was pretty clear that she wanted a husband that would travel with her and do things with her. Yet the experts matched her with someone who didn't share that interest (whether it's the cost or the idea of travel generally, I don't know). Brett (?) and Olivia had the same problem (among others) in New Orleans. I don't really see it as an unsurmountable problem; as others have said, Jose could either expand his horizons and do some travel with Rachel or Rachel can leave Jose at home and travel with friends. I think the sticking point is going to be the finances because I think Jose will always see travel as a frivolous expense. Even if Rachel goes without him and spends her money on the trip, he's going to have an issue with it.

[Empress1]

17 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

Even if Rachel goes without him and spends her money on the trip, he's going to have an issue with it.

And she’ll likely never hear the end of it from Mr. “I Busted Out My Budget Whiteboard at a Party.” (I’d still go.)

17 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

He seems settled. He's a firefighter. He has to have a HS diploma and he may have some college or even a four year degree. I'm not sure how much more "educated" he needs to be in order to be successful in his chosen field. He's in an entry level position but that's fine - he literally just started working in that area. I don't love Gil but there is nothing wrong with his level of education or his chosen profession.

I agree with you - Gil is not without flaws but he’s doing fine. And again, even if he were at the top of the firefighter food chain (and he may get there), he wouldn’t make six figures because it’s apparently not a profession that yields six-figure salaries (which surprises me - I’d have thought captains make that. Do firefighters get overtime like cops?). He’ll never be unemployed though.

[Crashcourse]

I don't know how she is off camera but I have to give Myrla a lot of credit for acting so calmly when Gil is dragging her.  It would've been quite interesting if he'd been matched with Michaela and watching her lose her shit when he "teased" her.   

[Empress1]

6 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I don't know how she is off camera but I have to give Myrla a lot of credit for acting so calmly when Gil is dragging her.  It would've been quite interesting if he'd been matched with Michaela and watching her lose her shit when he "teased" her.   

I liked the way she calmly said “I hear you but I disagree with you” when Gil was saying something (I forget what).

[Crashcourse]

15 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I liked the way she calmly said “I hear you but I disagree with you” when Gil was saying something (I forget what).

Yes, and he shut the f*ck up and just looked at her because there was nothing else he could say.

Oh, and didn't he call her a "brat"?  I wonder how he'd feel if she started calling him names.  I really don't like him now.

Edited November 4, 2021 by Crashcourse

[Meowwww]

31 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I don't know how she is off camera but I have to give Myrla a lot of credit for acting so calmly when Gil is dragging her.  It would've been quite interesting if he'd been matched with Michaela and watching her lose her shit when he "teased" her.   

I feel like it’s so production driven. That’s their “hook”.  

[thatsall]

19 hours ago, kristen111 said:

What happened to falling in love, staying married and figuring things out as they go.  This is like the cart before the horse.  If you get what I mean.

 

Seems we're living in a very different world. With the ability now to curate every detail of our lives, the idea of committing without the assurance that we're getting exactly what we want -- or at least are prepared for -- isn't popular. And given that we can never know someone fully, or predict what they will do, more and more people will opt to be without a partner rather than take all those "scary" chances. At least in the U.S., and possibly in all first-world countries, I predict a gradual reduction in the marriage rate and a massive reduction in the reproduction rate. Hopefully people will understand the absolute necessity of having a solid circle of friends who will help each other in old age.

[thatsall]

17 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I felt bad for Mryla. Gil was really going at her!

The more I get to know him the less I like him. He’s at the age he should be educated and pretty well settled and moving up in his chosen field. He’s not either 

He’s belittling her for achieving what he did not do. Kind of puffing himself up at her expense. 

She should say a very loud No but they say love is blind so we’ll see. 

Not only is love blind (in terms of Myrla saying yes), I sense that (based on the previews) consummating their marriage after it took so long for her to kiss him practically ensures she will say yes. 

Though all this may have been completely producer-driven, she has had many opportunities to check Gil's constant criticism of her; it's over the top and borders on demoralizing. There are far better ways to deal with personality quirks and attitudes. 

[greeneyedscorpio]

never mind 

 

Edited November 4, 2021 by greeneyedscorpio
sorry didn't read the rest of the thread before i answered

[greeneyedscorpio]

1 hour ago, Shauna said:

At first I liked Gil and didn't like Myrla.  I've flipped now as the narrative (which I hope is wrong) is him constantly ripping into her about this or that.  Super annoying.

And someone up thread said they never had sex.  I think we saw in previews that he admitted they had sex.  I believe they agreed not to discuss it on camera.

I've thought they'd had sex for quite a while.  Myrla just started acting so smitten and content and happy with him and got a lot more affectionate with him as well.  

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

He seems settled. He's a firefighter. He has to have a HS diploma and he may have some college or even a four year degree. I'm not sure how much more "educated" he needs to be in order to be successful in his chosen field. He's in an entry level position but that's fine - he literally just started working in that area. I don't love Gil but there is nothing wrong with his level of education or his chosen profession.

There are women who hate to travel and men who love to travel. It's not a gender thing.

I think that Rachel was pretty clear that she wanted a husband that would travel with her and do things with her. Yet the experts matched her with someone who didn't share that interest (whether it's the cost or the idea of travel generally, I don't know). Brett (?) and Olivia had the same problem (among others) in New Orleans. I don't really see it as an unsurmountable problem; as others have said, Jose could either expand his horizons and do some travel with Rachel or Rachel can leave Jose at home and travel with friends. I think the sticking point is going to be the finances because I think Jose will always see travel as a frivolous expense. Even if Rachel goes without him and spends her money on the trip, he's going to have an issue with it.

This is the same thing they did with Olivia and Brett a few seasons ago.  Do they ask these contestants any relevant lifestyle questions?

[Leschele]

Once again I find myself screaming at Ryan to say more than 5 words to Brett and for Brett to just go off on him and be like wtf man??? Oh my gawd its so frustrating!!!!! I honestly know I am going to cry for Brett because my heart is already broke for her.  He didnt even give her a chance.  Not 1 damn chance!!!!!  If he says yes I will literally fall out of my chair.  That dating app BS was just so cruel and disrespectful.  Even if they tried to make it work it'd be hard for any woman to get that out of her head.  I hope they'll put Brett on Second Chances because she deserves a do over. 

Johnny doesn't want to be married.  I think hes going to bolt!!  Bao acts like shed let him treat her like dirt and shed still stay to work through it.  Well he has treated her like dirt and she is still there.  Life is too short Bao to be with someone that mean.  

Zach is a nut job and Micayla is too.  I think shell say yes if he does but hes going to say no and bolt too!  She may key is car and slice his tires after so he better run fast.  

Jose and Rachel both will say yes. I wish them luck.    

Myrla loves her some Gil and Gil loves him some Mryla.  They will both say yes.  They have the best and most respectful communication.  They listen to each other and given time she will see theres more things than a pair of shoes that will make her happy.  I love Mryla and Gil. 

[Alexander Pope]

21 hours ago, kristen111 said:

My oldest was smart.  Right after college, she went with a group tour her age to Europe by herself.  A tour bus .. 10 countries in two weeks.  They saw everything.  The best vacation of her life.  She’s so glad she went as her husband doesn’t like to travel out of the country.  That’s what Rachel should do.  Go on a tour.  Some men don’t like that stuff, so why force them.  My husband was in Europe in the Army and doesn’t want to go, but told me to go with my girlfriend.  Rachel wants to go to Switzerland and Tyland.  Why should he go if he doesn’t want to?  She should have gone already with a tour.  Besides it’s dangerous.  She’s adamant about it.  In marriage, it’s ok to do things by yourself or with a friend.  That’s compromise.  I don’t know if it’s the times or what, but everyone here is selfish.  They just want what they want no matter what.  I have to watch football every weekend because the King here loves it.  I hate freakin football.,but he will take me to the City to see a play.  He saw Fanthom of the Opera 3 times with me.  That’s compromise, even tho he was snoring, haha.  Who cares.  I get what I want and so does he.  Sometimes not together.  Ryan is a shithead.  He should have given her the courtesy of a sit down talk, instead of just leaving.  He’s no gentleman.  She deserved better.

I would like this a million times if I could.  Marriage doesn't mean you're bound at the hip.  Each person gives.  And each person has their own thing and it's ok if they enjoy some things apart.  It is maddening that nobody on this show can see this.  Constant togetherness is not the only option!

Edited November 5, 2021 by Alexander Pope

[Rae Spellman]

13 hours ago, kristen111 said:

 If you like Jose and think you could have a decent life with him, make a choice.  Have a husband, or go to Switzerland.  You can’t have everything you want.  I’d pick the husband.  

Even if Rachel prefers traveling with her husband, she can pick Jose, get her finances in order and save to go to Switzerland for a week or two with a teacher friend in the summer when Jose is working. Then because she probably has/takes more vacation time than Jose she can go skiing or go on a Texas weekend getaway with Jose. He might feel better about Rachel saving to spend money on her portion of a girls trip abroad than them spending double the money on an international couples trip.

She, or they can travel when they have kids, too. When we were kids our grandparents watched us so that our parents could go away without us. Our aunts and uncles did, too. A single-mother friend of mine had parents who suggested that they watch her child for a week so that she could go on vacation with friends. Plus there's the option of taking the kids to Switzerland, too. When someone wants something badly enough there are often ways to make it happen. 

Edited November 5, 2021 by Rae Spellman
fixed a few typos

[TzuShih]

22 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

Jose and Rachel will never see eye to eye. She wants an every other year trip out of the country. He wants to drive two hours across I-10 to San Antonio. There is no compromise between those two!

And for the record, I’m with Rachel. Im a born and raised Texan and love my long weekend trips to other parts of Texas.  But that absolutely does not count as my “vacation” for the year. Quit being cheap Jose! 

I WISH that Rachel would ask Jose what his REAL reason is for not considering an 'exotic' (out of the country trip) a fun experience??  There are, perhaps, his personal feelings/fears of being in a 'foreign'' situation where he feels a personal discomfort at having to deal with an unknown setting. (It seems as though his travel experiences have been somewhat limited.  Perhaps Rachel's easy, fun expectations for confronting the 'new and exotic' make him feel nervous or 'inadequate.') I think this is definitely something they need to discuss.  I just don't see this as solely a "money issue."  I feel there is much more (fear?) going on with Jose's dismissive responses to exploring the world.  I would love to see them enjoy all there is to see in all the amazing parts outside of our country.
  

[Jax7917]

8 hours ago, TzuShih said:

I WISH that Rachel would ask Jose what his REAL reason is for not considering an 'exotic' (out of the country trip) a fun experience??  There are, perhaps, his personal feelings/fears of being in a 'foreign'' situation where he feels a personal discomfort at having to deal with an unknown setting. (It seems as though his travel experiences have been somewhat limited.  Perhaps Rachel's easy, fun expectations for confronting the 'new and exotic' make him feel nervous or 'inadequate.') I think this is definitely something they need to discuss.  I just don't see this as solely a "money issue."  I feel there is much more (fear?) going on with Jose's dismissive responses to exploring the world.  I would love to see them enjoy all there is to see in all the amazing parts outside of our country.
  

Eh, I think he's just a cheapskate and is obsessed with his spread sheets and knowing how  much to the dime that he will spend that month...  but it's also because traveling is just not a hobby for him.

For instance, I will spend a lot of money to travel or on experiences, but I hate spending a lot of money on going out to nice restaurants. I just feel like a $200 bill is such a waste of money especially because i'm hungry 10 minutes later. But experiences are memories and fun. My husband on the other hand loves to go to expensive restaurants and that's his idea of a night out. 

My point is, where people's money goes is a very personal preference, but this is one of those things that can be easily compromised on. Maybe instead of going on a big vacation every other year, they can go every third year lol or whatever it is. It just doesn't seem like such an issue to me. But I do understand where Rachel is coming from with wanting to travel with her husband, not friends. Traveling with friends in your 20's is fun, but when you get married its different and  you want to travel with your partner. I think she's totally reasonable with that.

[cinsays]

9 hours ago, TzuShih said:

I WISH that Rachel would ask Jose what his REAL reason is for not considering an 'exotic' (out of the country trip) a fun experience??  There are, perhaps, his personal feelings/fears of being in a 'foreign'' situation where he feels a personal discomfort at having to deal with an unknown setting. (It seems as though his travel experiences have been somewhat limited.  Perhaps Rachel's easy, fun expectations for confronting the 'new and exotic' make him feel nervous or 'inadequate.') I think this is definitely something they need to discuss.  I just don't see this as solely a "money issue."  I feel there is much more (fear?) going on with Jose's dismissive responses to exploring the world.  I would love to see them enjoy all there is to see in all the amazing parts outside of our country.
  

why does he have to have some deep seated psychological reason for not wanting to go on exotic foreign trips? some people just don't have the desire to do that.

[Jax7917]

14 hours ago, Leschele said:

Once again I find myself screaming at Ryan to say more than 5 words to Brett and for Brett to just go off on him and be like wtf man??? Oh my gawd its so frustrating!!!!! I honestly know I am going to cry for Brett because my heart is already broke for her.  He didnt even give her a chance.  Not 1 damn chance!!!!!  If he says yes I will literally fall out of my chair.  That dating app BS was just so cruel and disrespectful.  Even if they tried to make it work it'd be hard for any woman to get that out of her head.  I hope they'll put Brett on Second Chances because she deserves a do over. 

Johnny doesn't want to be married.  I think hes going to bolt!!  Bao acts like shed let him treat her like dirt and shed still stay to work through it.  Well he has treated her like dirt and she is still there.  Life is too short Bao to be with someone that mean.  

Zach is a nut job and Micayla is too.  I think shell say yes if he does but hes going to say no and bolt too!  She may key is car and slice his tires after so he better run fast.  

Jose and Rachel both will say yes. I wish them luck.    

Myrla loves her some Gil and Gil loves him some Mryla.  They will both say yes.  They have the best and most respectful communication.  They listen to each other and given time she will see theres more things than a pair of shoes that will make her happy.  I love Mryla and Gil. 

Brett and Ryan are so annoying to watch. I appreciate Brett not blowing up like Michaela, but put the guy in his place. Tell him he's extremely f**ked up for downloading a dating app while the process is still going on. Tell him he doesn't deserve to be married because he expects everything handed to him without working for it.. tell him something, ANYTHING. She just always looks down and like she's scared to piss him off.

And Ryan will only be happy with someone who puts him in his place. I think he needs to be with a bitch. Being with someone sweet will bore him very quickly. He always says things in talking heads but doesn't say it to Brett. I think we can all see that he didn't put the effort in that he should have, but he's the type that needs to be more into the person than the person is into him in order for it to work so I don't think it would have really worked with anyone.

 

This is really off topic but can someone please chop Myrla's hair? It just does her no favors. She needs to chop it, layer it, wash it, do something to it. It just seems so flat to her head and too long so there's no body.

[Jax7917]

19 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

That's why I've said any woman watching this show might be afraid to date Zack because they know he has a crazy ex-wife.  Plus, I could see him dating someone new but still having sex with Michaela on the sly.   

Yeah the sex must be really good because he can't seem to rid himself of that maniac. But he seems off himself. He's pretty even-keeled but he can't seem to make a decision for the life of him. He's definitely the type that would be in a relationship but still texting/ trying to see another woman on the downlow. 

[seacliffsal]

I think Rachel is just as controlling as Jose albeit she presents it differently.  Like if she speaks really slowly while making threats that she will get her way (i.e. "if you don't go with me it's a deal-breaker; you won't like summer Rachel if she gets bored," etc.).  I know a lot of people think Rachel could do better but I'm not so sure.

[Crashcourse]

2 hours ago, cinsays said:

why does he have to have some deep seated psychological reason for not wanting to go on exotic foreign trips? some people just don't have the desire to do that.

Maybe he's afraid of flying and just likes to take road trips?  Can't say that I blame him.

[Empress1]

3 hours ago, Jax7917 said:

Brett and Ryan are so annoying to watch. I appreciate Brett not blowing up like Michaela, but put the guy in his place. Tell him he's extremely f**ked up for downloading a dating app while the process is still going on. Tell him he doesn't deserve to be married because he expects everything handed to him without working for it.. tell him something, ANYTHING. She just always looks down and like she's scared to piss him off.

And Ryan will only be happy with someone who puts him in his place.

He told Brett he wanted her to call him on his shit and when she did, he shut down - which she also called him on. And she was very direct with him on the retreat when he assumed they’d sleep together (she was clear and showed her anger), and she was pretty direct with him when she found out about the app - she was like “you couldn’t wait a week?” (I FELL OUT when she said “this motherfucker is texting me” after he left).

He’s clearly just not into her and she knows it (the app was the final straw but I’m sure she knew before), and I think she’s saving her energy and biding her time until they split. I can’t blame her. You can’t make someone care about you and if he cares so little that he’d download a dating app with a week to go, while they are still filming (so if he got caught, as he did, it’s on TV), that says it all. If he’s that uncaring, cursing him out isn’t likely to have much impact and maybe Brett isn’t the kind of person who feels better when she curses people out. She can walk away from this with her head high & maybe that’s enough for her.

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

Maybe he's afraid of flying and just likes to take road trips?  Can't say that I blame him.

But most people in Houston who go skiing don't drive there.  Nor should they, actually.  There's nothing like a warm-weather flatlander trying to drive 1000 miles to a mountain destination in the winter, on a schedule. 

I'd hate to be in the car with Jose when it starts getting slick and it would probably be better if we cut the day short and stayed in a motel en route instead of the condo we'd already paid for.  He'd be a menace behind the wheel, and he might be even worse as the passenger.

[Retired at last]

2 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

I think Rachel is just as controlling as Jose albeit she presents it differently. 

ITA with that statement. She doesn't fly off the handle like he does, but she is very stubborn and wants what she wants, with not a lot of room for compromise. She is not that different from Myrla in that way, but Myrla seems very happy to do what she wants to do by herself and Rachel wants her husband to go with her. I understand that, but if she is going to want these big trips ($$$) every other year, she needs to accept that her husband does not and will not justify the expenses. So, she has to decide 1)keep Jose and lose the travel plans, 2)travel without him and accept that he will be untrusting and resentful, 3)find other places to travel and go with Jose. She does have options, but having Jose wanting to go with her is not one, at this point.

I was on a cruise once with friends and we met a lovely retired man who found his way to our group and sat at our table. He was recently retired and his wife did not want to take cruises, so he did his thing and she did her girl trips and he was very happy. Personally, I don't see how anyone would not want to cruise (well, now I do), but this worked well for him and his wife. The only thing he said about that was that maybe next time he will bring his adult daughter, which would also be wonderful for both of them. What great memories for them.

[Nancybeth]

22 hours ago, Empress1 said:

And she’ll likely never hear the end of it from Mr. “I Busted Out My Budget Whiteboard at a Party.” (I’d still go.)

 

Totally. I don't think Jose has ever said, "I don't want to travel but if you do, you should go." I assume his objection is to the cost of such trips and how much of their budget she thinks should go to travel. I actually think her proposal that they do a big overseas trip every other year is relatively reasonable -- you put it in the budget, set aside some amount every month in a separate account, plan accordingly and travel! Lots of people do it. I don't think Jose would be cool with Rachel putting significant money towards trips -- instead of his priorities -- even if it doesn't involve him going. 

There's always at least one couple that have this basic conflict each year -- one person wants to spend more on "experiences" (travel, dining out, sporting events, etc.) and the other person views this as extraneous or unnecessary. I'm thinking of Haley/Jacob last season, and Olivia/Brett from NOLA, among others. 

[pdlinda]

23 hours ago, Empress1 said:

Here’s a list. Entry-level firefighters (1-2 years in) make mid-to-high 40s. If Myrla makes twice that, that’s $90-100K. It’s also worth noting that based on that list, Gil will never make as much as Myrla, even if he goes as far as is possible to go and including the bilingual pay I assume he gets. Whereas Myrla could likely continue to grow her earnings as a consultant beyond what she’s making now (and I’m sure she’s thought of that given that she says she’s motivated my money). Gil’s job is probably more stable that Myrla’s though.

Also, firefighters should make more.

I agree with your financial analysis for both Gil and Myrla.  The financial divide between them (actual and figurative) seems too deep to have them succeed as a couple.

I watched the show last evening.  For the first time, I actually saw emotional "coldness" in Gil's eyes when talking about Myrla.  No affection or caring whatsoever.

Myrla had her own analysis of their situation and I didn't see much emotion there, either.  However, I believe that after her initial emotional shunning of Gil, she fell hard for him and would say "yes" if she felt he would reciprocate.  

From what I saw last night, it's a firm NO from Gil!

[Baltimore Betty]

2 hours ago, Retired at last said:

ITA with that statement. She doesn't fly off the handle like he does, but she is very stubborn and wants what she wants, with not a lot of room for compromise. She is not that different from Myrla in that way, but Myrla seems very happy to do what she wants to do by herself and Rachel wants her husband to go with her. I understand that, but if she is going to want these big trips ($$$) every other year, she needs to accept that her husband does not and will not justify the expenses. So, she has to decide 1)keep Jose and lose the travel plans, 2)travel without him and accept that he will be untrusting and resentful, 3)find other places to travel and go with Jose. She does have options, but having Jose wanting to go with her is not one, at this point.

I was on a cruise once with friends and we met a lovely retired man who found his way to our group and sat at our table. He was recently retired and his wife did not want to take cruises, so he did his thing and she did her girl trips and he was very happy. Personally, I don't see how anyone would not want to cruise (well, now I do), but this worked well for him and his wife. The only thing he said about that was that maybe next time he will bring his adult daughter, which would also be wonderful for both of them. What great memories for them.

It is sad that Rachel would start out her marriage like this, marrying someone who flat out does not want to spend the money or share in the experience of travel, if it was 15 or so years down the road I could see taking a trip without a spouse who is no longer interested in taking big trips.

Jose and Rachel's mismatch means the experts once again ignored what these people are asking for in a mate, how do they justify putting people together that are so not suitable for each other?  Do they even listen to the participants or just go rogue?

[Rae Spellman]

1 hour ago, Nancybeth said:

I don't think Jose would be cool with Rachel putting significant money towards trips -- instead of his priorities -- even if it doesn't involve him going. 

Initially wasn't Jose open to paying the bills while Rachel was clear that wasn't what she wanted? If she'd been okay with Jose paying most of their shared bills the first year or two, she could have used her income to aggressively pay off her debt and save money for a trip. Then she could have pulled out her white board to show Jose her progress and convince him that going on an international vacation was actually affordable and would be affordable ongoing because she no longer had debt.

[kristen111]

On 11/4/2021 at 3:52 PM, Empress1 said:

Do firefighters get overtime like cops?)

Yes, they get plenty of overtime if they want.  There’s always someone out sick, burned or whatever.  Some consider overtime like a second job, especially if they work in the city or bad neighborhoods.  They are First Responders and do plenty more things than fires.

[Retired at last]

46 minutes ago, Rae Spellman said:

nitially wasn't Jose open to paying the bills while Rachel was clear that wasn't what she wanted?

No - he wanted all of the money (his AND hers) to be in one account so he could use it to pay bills and then they could spend whatever was left. He wasn't going to pay all of the bills with just his money.

[buttersister]

Quote

 I believe they agreed not to discuss it on camera.

Yep, and in my little world, Myrla decided to play the game and have a taste of marriage while the show was on. I could be wrong, but I can't see her agreeing to go on with the guy who calls her a spoiled brat, still rags about her spending and doesn't share her view of how life should be lived. She had a nice time, didn't have sex until she felt like it and maybe, walks away thinking she's not missing that much (in the beginning, she said all her girlfriends were getting married).

Unless Gil's drama was BS, all part of their plan, he loves her, too, and when he gets Jamie's job, he'll make plenty of money for the two of them. LOL!

[Yeah No]

On 11/4/2021 at 1:12 PM, StatisticalOutlier said:

Boy, I don't know.  He likes to go skiing, and talk about busting one's budget.  Lift tickets are now $200/day at major resorts!  And Rachel could go only at Christmas or spring break, when everything is more expensive, and crowded.  And it would do nothing for her desire to travel during the summer.

I'm kind of liking @buttersister's theory that Jose feels insecure outside Texas or Vegas.  (And outside Texas doesn't include ski resorts in Colorado, because they're crawling with Texans.)  He grew up in a far suburb of Houston and has stayed there, and considers going to San Antonio or Fredericksburg "travel."  I can see how he would find more far-flung travel, especially internationally, intimidating, and really wouldn't want to spend money on that. 

And on that note, what in the world would he go to Fredericksburg for?  I just don't see that as a destination for a man in his 30s. 

I think Jose only wants to spend money traveling where he wants to go, and those countries Rachel wants to go to are not on his list.  Either she goes where he wants to go or he's against spending the money, even if she wanted to go there on her own.  If she went alone without him suddenly he'd say "it costs too much money".

[Yeah No]

22 hours ago, Rae Spellman said:

Even if Rachel prefers traveling with her husband, she can pick Jose, get her finances in order and save to go to Switzerland for a week or two with a teacher friend in the summer when Jose is working. Then because she probably has/takes more vacation time than Jose she can go skiing or go on a Texas weekend getaway with Jose. He might feel better about Rachel saving to spend money on her portion of a girls trip abroad than them spending double the money on an international couples trip.

I don't think Jose would be on board with Rachel spending any of her own money on travel without him either.  He thinks she should be putting it toward joint ventures involving both of them.  He's too cheap to be OK with her spending any money that he thinks could be put to better use on something that will also benefit him.

[Yeah No]

On 11/4/2021 at 4:47 PM, thatsall said:

Seems we're living in a very different world. With the ability now to curate every detail of our lives, the idea of committing without the assurance that we're getting exactly what we want -- or at least are prepared for -- isn't popular. And given that we can never know someone fully, or predict what they will do, more and more people will opt to be without a partner rather than take all those "scary" chances. At least in the U.S., and possibly in all first-world countries, I predict a gradual reduction in the marriage rate and a massive reduction in the reproduction rate. Hopefully people will understand the absolute necessity of having a solid circle of friends who will help each other in old age.

I don't think so, because the same commitment necessary to sustain a lasting relationship applies to friendships as well.  If people are becoming more commitment-phobic they will also become less committed to friendships for the long haul.  I'm positively shocked at Bao's friend sabotaging her to Johnny.  I don't care if he's also Johnny's friend you just don't do that to one of your best friends.  Something similar happened a few seasons ago between a bride and one of her girlfriends.  Those don't sound like "solid" friendships to me that will last until old age.  Plus even the oldest and best of friends can die on you, go crazy or just drop you for no good reason because you did nothing wrong.  Don't ask me how I know that.  I've already lost once solid friends to all of those things and I'm 63.

[kristen111]

On 11/4/2021 at 1:54 PM, mythoughtis said:

I got the impression that Gil FELT he should pay for everything because that’s how father and Myrla’s father’s cultures both were.  He commented that he would have  no money left If he did that. I don’t think Myrla expects him to pay every bill… but I think she  expects him to pay half even though she makes 2/3 of the money. Half of whatever amount of expenses she thinks are important- her choice of the area they live in, the furniture, the price of home etc.  Because she won’t reduce her spending to make up for the income disparity nor will she reduce her lifestyle choices. I also think she expects him to come up with his half of the money for 5 star hotels and vacations at the locales she wants. Which he can’t do and she won’t budge on using her money for his travel or reducing her travel/ meal/ entertainment choices to ones that he can pay half on. 
When there is an income disparity, the spouse  with the higher income needs to pay a similar portion of bills if you are keeping money separate.  So she should pay 2/3 of the monthly bills and expenses, and 2/3 of the travel expenses. 
In our case, we’ve always combined our money and based our spending and monthly bills on what the combined income could afford. There’s never been one discussion in 31+ years regarding the fact that I make more money than he does because I don’t think of things that way.  I don’t ever think that I should be able to keep more money in my purse  than he does in his wallet.

I don’t get this money thing at all.  I thought marriage is a partnership.  One will always make more money than the other.  Maybe in time, one will stay home with the kids.  When all these couples are settled ( doubt it) why not just put the two paychecks in one account.  Then, draw from there for savings, food, mortgage, bills, everything.  Everything is equal.  You are partners.  This is if they stay together, which I think they all will not.  I don’t understand this my money, his money thing.  It’s supposed to be OUR money.

[Lindz]

On 11/4/2021 at 6:10 AM, Yeah No said:

She wants the whole enchilada, not just a "friends with bennies" relationship with him and I don't think he's going to talk her into wanting that.

But on the retreat he somehow got her to agree to getting divorced and continuing to "work on" their relationship after decision day. He must've spun it really good!! 😅 Then he blew that by saying marriage to HER was too difficult, which made it sound like they'd never get married again & she lost her damn mind. 😅😂 He's trying to trick her into a situation & she might agree to it (again) depending on how he dresses it up. Almost like she's giving him the power of their relationship because she's the bad one. She seemed done last week, but he's too good a sweet talker, apparently.

Edited November 6, 2021 by Lindz

[kristen111]

On 11/4/2021 at 12:32 AM, Yeah No said:

I totally agree with you and that's the main point - I've said this again and again, that Myrla's success is a problem for Gil because he thinks HE should be the one with more money so he can be the one paying the bills like his father did.  I said that I saw his attitude as sexist WEEKS ago and it turns out that he is only confirming what I said.  He is expecting Myrla to have less so he can feel like the big man that supports not only his mother but his wife.  But she has worked hard and is not going to give that up any time soon.  And I don't think she should have to consider leaving her job for children after a maternity leave.   Why should she do that?  This is not the 1950s, a woman can have her career and have kids too.  She shouldn't be told by anyone that she should have to give up her job and live on half her SINGLE income!  That's just such an insult to her and to women in general!

I knew that Gil made that much less than she does - I posted several times that his income couldn't be that good as an entry level fireman plus supporting his mother.  His attitude towards her is more like "sour grapes" than anything else.  He made such a big stink out of her spending because he sees himself as supporting her and having to pay for that stuff.  But she supports herself so his problem is nothing but his big sexist EGO.  That's the only reason he "disapproves" of her spending.  If he made more money he wouldn't be acting like she spends too much.  Unfortunately coming from his culture his attitude is not unheard of even in this day and age.

Yes, yes, yes.  These are the times of “NOW”.  They all want everything now.  Eight weeks in only, and they are telling each other what they have to have.  I’m so sick of Rachel and her trips in other countries right off the bat.  She’s threatening him already, and setting him straight.  That’s why they are all still single.  They have to have everything.  They should just shut up and see how it goes without the demands, or else do what you want like babies and stay single.  Like “Yeah No” said, wait and see and go with the flow for a successful marriage.  They are still not saying how much Gil sends to his family.  That is the key.  This show has become all trickery, and it’s not working.  Who wants to be aggravated every week?  I liked the first couple of seasons .. that’s it.  Not anymore if they’re going to screw with us.  Stop making these people on the show act like idiots.