S09.E05: Retreat Yourself

[all4mom2]

11 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

I heard "Kathy," too.

My first thought?  Who the fuck is Kathy?  I don't ever recall hearing her mentioned before.

The only relative I've ever heard mentioned is Babs' sister, but I thought that was Mary.

Chase is operating on the "sunk cost fallacy."

[Colleenna]

4 hours ago, Mothra said:

I have a feeling that one reason they're so resistant to Whitney's "gift" of a "whole new bedroom" is that they know what she means by that--that she will decorate the downstairs bedroom so it's like new.  I'm sure Babs and Glenn could hire someone to paint the room; I'm also sure that since they've seen Whitney's newly decorated house they have a pretty good idea of what Whitney wants to do to their room.  Whitney would not be doing any actual painting or making new curtains.  It would just be a matter of hiring someone to do those things *if* Babs and Glenn wanted them done, and they would be sure to have paint etc to their taste, not Whitney's.

If the downstairs bedroom is large enough for them to get around in, if the only objection is that it's not pretty, there's really no reason for them to not like it.

Whitney worries about them on the stairs, and I would too.  Babs and Glenn need to have a real reason to want to avoid the stairs (and the more Whitney pushes them, the less likely they are to agree to it).  It seems to me that a big problem might be the bathroom.  Do they have a combination tub/shower?  A large walk-in shower, with a seat, is probably what they need.  If Babs must have a tub, there are walk-in tubs that you sit in, and there are probably other tubs that are safer to enter/exit.  They should have grab-bars all over the place whether they move downstairs or not, especially at the top of the stairs.

Whitney needs to talk to their doctor and ask for a referral to a physical therapist, who could give her lots of recommendations on how to make her parents' house safer while letting them be as independent as possible.

NO. Unless they have specifically named her on their  HIPAA forms,  she has zero right to discuss anything with their doctor(s).  There are tons of resources for modifying a home for aging in place. Glenn and Babs are not stupid, nor are they senescent. 

[mamadrama]

10 hours ago, Mothra said:

.

Whitney needs to talk to their doctor and ask for a referral to a physical therapist, who could give her lots of recommendations on how to make her parents' house safer while letting them be as independent as possible.

Whit wouldn't have to worry about paying to redecorate their bedroom then because Babs and Dadwee would have more than enough dough after they collect from the resulting lawsuit. 

[Me from ME]

 

Quote

Those who's lives are out of control often like to control others.

Absolutely. It is always easier to tell someone what to do than to work on one's self.

Mamadrama thanks for the beautiful pictures. When I saw that she was in Bar Harbor earlier a few weeks ago I shared your horror of her and the crew invading our favorite places. Are we going to be treated to scenes of her eating lobster? Dipping her toe in the ocean? Shrieking at the view from Cadillac Mountain?

I think that another reason for Glenn and Babs to not move downstairs is that it would be less likely that their monster of a daughter will barge in on them at any time and start ordering them around. It would be for her convenience if she didn't have to climb stairs to harass them.

Edited September 16, 2021 by Me from ME
Added a thought

[Xena]

17 hours ago, princelina said:

You know what I was thinking last night?  If I ever happened to drive by Whitney and company and realize it on time, I'd kind of like to yell something like that out the window - not just to see if I could make it onto her show, but also to see if they were all shocked because someone who WASN'T paid to heckle them had driven by!

If this ever happens - it would be awesome if instead of saying something about her weight, you yelled out 'Hey!  Whitney!  You have a shitty personaility!!!'

[stoppro]

What the parents need is a restraining order against whitless to keep her fat ass out of there,They can get their own assessment. Keep the know nothing bully out of there.

 

[3girlsforus]

I can't help but wonder if Whitney wants to move her parents downstairs so she can move into the master bedroom when the shit show ends. She has her own place now but after the shit show it seems unlikely that is a sustainable situation (unless her parents are paying). So she's planning ahead to get herself the best bedroom in the house by making it look better for her parents.

[alabetser]

The whole moving downstairs thing makes no zero sense to me, even ignoring Whit's imposing lack of consent. If her parents couldn't feasible navigate stairs, wouldn't the best solution be for them to sell their house and move to a 1 level place? Who (apart from Whit ironically) wants to live in a place where you can only access half of it regularly? Why pay for the extra heating or a/c? Who is going to clean upstairs? If they are going to still use upstairs, just not as a bedroom, I don't see how that's any different than now. 

[Colleenna]

55 minutes ago, 3girlsforus said:

I can't help but wonder if Whitney wants to move her parents downstairs so she can move into the master bedroom when the shit show ends. She has her own place now but after the shit show it seems unlikely that is a sustainable situation (unless her parents are paying). So she's planning ahead to get herself the best bedroom in the house by making it look better for her parents.

Nah. She'd have to climb stairs to use that bedroom. 

[jacksgirl]

I think Glenn said "Cappy." Maybe we need a contest 

1. What name did Glenn say?

2. Human or pet?

3. Will Whitney make it all about her?

[Elizzikra]

10 hours ago, Colleenna said:

NO. Unless they have specifically named her on their  HIPAA forms,  she has zero right to discuss anything with their doctor(s).  There are tons of resources for modifying a home for aging in place. Glenn and Babs are not stupid, nor are they senescent. 

It's a HIPAA violation to talk about a specific patient (or even acknowledge that a specific person is a patient in the practice) but the doctor could talk with Whitney (or anyone) about general suggestions for making homes safer for elderly residents. That said, Whitney really doesn't need to do that; her parents are more than capable of doing that for themselves.

Quote

The whole moving downstairs thing makes no zero sense to me, even ignoring Whit's imposing lack of consent. If her parents couldn't feasible navigate stairs, wouldn't the best solution be for them to sell their house and move to a 1 level place? Who (apart from Whit ironically) wants to live in a place where you can only access half of it regularly? Why pay for the extra heating or a/c? Who is going to clean upstairs? If they are going to still use upstairs, just not as a bedroom, I don't see how that's any different than now. 

Our home has a first floor master bedroom (which we have always used) and we plan to remain here until we leave, toes up. There are entire weeks that I don't go upstairs (I have an office there and our daughter's bedroom is up there). There are a lot of reasons to stay, primarily financial ones. We could easily sell our house - properties sell easily here - but there are very few single level homes in our neighborhood. We don't want to leave the area and it's unlikely that we could find a single level home with a yard (pets) nearby. We don't want a condo. And the finances don't work - we would move to something smaller for the same or more money. Babs and Glenn, having been in their home for such a long time, might have the same considerations. But mostly I think they stay because it's their home. They love it. They have memories there and they aren't ready to admit that they might be developing limitations that make it less safe for them to be there. They may still have dreams of children and grandchildren coming for the holidays. 

[Persnickety1]

14 hours ago, 3girlsforus said:

I'm sorry but I'm going to vehemently disagree here. Whitney has neither the right nor any business talking to her parents doctors. They are fully functioning adults. Whitney doesn't have the right to get info from their doctors or to request referrals or treatment for her parents. She continues to treat them like they are non-functional. They aren't bed-ridden. They haven't been declared incompetent to make their own care decisions. Whitney needs to take care of herself and show her parents some respect. 

I agree.  

The only thing I'm in agreement with Whitney on is that Babs should not be driving in the interest of public safety.  I believe she's had a couple of episodes where she's either completely passed out or come close to passing out.  If I were in Whitney's place, I'd probably want her to relinquish her keys as well.  

Other than that (because it is a matter of public safety), Whitney needs to get out of their business.  

[jennylauren123]

On 9/13/2021 at 2:02 PM, Ketzel said:

I love the DRAMA of this episode description: "[She] must decide if she will give him a chance or not."

She must decide if she will order pizza or not!

She must decide if she will demand Buddy cuddle her or not!

She must decide if she will sign a contract for another season or not!

I feel safe in predicting Whitney will decide to give Le Blur a chance. The real question: will he decide to give her a chance or not? 

 

"Le Blur"

Dead.

[SunnyBeBe]

I’ve grown to expect the producers to send some hecklers to drive by and call them fat.  It’s likely done for demonstration purposes. You know, like a reenactment of what has happened before.   It’s way overdone, imo.  It’s so predictable.  It is TLC’s style though.  

Edited September 17, 2021 by SunnyBeBe

[mamadrama]

12 hours ago, Me from ME said:

 

Absolutely. It is always easier to tell someone what to do than to work on one's self.

Mamadrama thanks for the beautiful pictures. When I saw that she was in Bar Harbor earlier a few weeks ago I shared your horror of her and the crew invading our favorite places. Are we going to be treated to scenes of her eating lobster? Dipping her toe in the ocean? Shrieking at the view from Cadillac Mountain?

I think that another reason for Glenn and Babs to not move downstairs is that it would be less likely that their monster of a daughter will barge in on them at any time and start ordering them around. It would be for her convenience if she didn't have to climb stairs to harass them.

I totally forgot about her trip to Maine! So during the pandemic, a period in which she supposedly rarely the house and saw anyone, she traveled to Maine, SSI, France (for 6 weeks), the lake house, and Asheville...

It's weird when your little corner of the world gets attention like that. You feel very protective of it. 

I don't want to get into a whole COVID discussion, but does anyone else find her views of it confusing? She acted like she was taking it very seriously with her isolation and masks, but then took a lot of trips. She got vaccinated but now acts like she's completely protected and doesn't seem concerned about the fact that she can still get it or pass it on. I know you can't just stop living, but so much of what she's done feels hypocritical.

My 10yo has COVID right now so all 4 of us are quarantined. She's not having breathing difficulties but, as many kids do, is having a lot of ocular issues and inflammation. It's not pretty. 

[Mothra]

21 hours ago, 3girlsforus said:

I'm sorry but I'm going to vehemently disagree here. Whitney has neither the right nor any business talking to her parents doctors. They are fully functioning adults. Whitney doesn't have the right to get info from their doctors or to request referrals or treatment for her parents. She continues to treat them like they are non-functional. They aren't bed-ridden. They haven't been declared incompetent to make their own care decisions. Whitney needs to take care of herself and show her parents some respect. 

While I agree that she needs generally to butt out and respect her parents as functioning adults, I don't see anything wrong with her calling their doctor and saying "Could you give me the names of some physical therapists who could give me suggestions on how to make my parents' house safer for them--so they can continue to live independently?"  Or check the AARP website.

But you know what?  You are absolutely right--she is way up in their business, and all her fussing has dragged me into this.  Her parents have not asked for help--in fact have specifically told her more than once that they don't *want* her help. 

See how dangerous this show is for people who watch--even hate-watch--obsessively?  I would *never* have treated my own parents this way.  She is trying to infantilize them, maybe because she doesn't have control over *anything* in her own life, and this attempt to take over this part of her parents' lives is another facet of her own toxic personality.

You're right; I was wrong, and I thank you for setting me straight.

[SunnyBeBe]

Many seniors sign authorization for the doctor’s office to release information and communicate with other persons, such as family members about them and their care. Often, that is done so the adult children can assist their parents with their care. Likely, Whit’s parents list her on theirs.  I’m speculating based on what we’ve seen on the show.  
 

Rarely, do seniors in need of help call and ask for things like a safety assessment, help with financial issues or  taking medications, etc.  Often, it’s a crisis when the senior has a fractured hip, fractured spine, brain bleed from falls.  Dealing with seniors who resist care is frustrating.  Whit is learning what it’s like.  Eventually, she’ll either be doing the hands on caregiving (if she’s physically able, which isn’t likely) or finding placement for them in a facility.  The fact that Whit’s parents cannot recognize the risks is alarming.  Hopefully, they won’t learn the hard way.  For those of us who have gone through this……it’s very stressful.  I don’t see it as a control issue, but trying to spare loved ones from death or disability. 

Edited September 17, 2021 by SunnyBeBe

[all4mom2]

Not to defend Twit, but with an aging parent, it kind of becomes your business at some point since you -- the adult child -- are the one who will be dealing with whatever consequence of whatever accident they have that could have been prevented (unless you're the type to just walk away and pretend you don't know them afterwards).  If you're going to be the caregiver, then the fact is you do have skin in the game. 

Nonetheless, it's their decision.  You can suggest, but not coerce or force and should NEVER infantalize.

As for how to "elder-proof" a home, all anyone has to do is consult Dr. Google.

 

Edited September 17, 2021 by all4mom2

[SunnyBeBe]

3 minutes ago, all4mom2 said:

Not to defend Twit, but with an aging parent it kind of becomes your business at some point since you -- the adult child -- is the one who will be dealing with whatever consequence of whatever accident they have that could have been prevented (unless you're the type to just walk away and pretend you don't know them afterwards).  If you're going to be the caregiver, then you have skin in the game. 

Nonetheless, it's their decision.  You can suggest, but not coerce or force.

As for how to "elder-proof" a home, all anyone has to do is consult Dr. Google.

 

Good points.  You stated it better than I did.  Lol

[3girlsforus]

10 minutes ago, all4mom2 said:

  If you're going to be the caregiver, then the fact is you do have skin in the game. 

Whitney has a caregiver, she isn't going to be a caregiver.

[Persnickety1]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I totally forgot about her trip to Maine! So during the pandemic, a period in which she supposedly rarely the house and saw anyone, she traveled to Maine, SSI, France (for 6 weeks), the lake house, and Asheville...

It's weird when your little corner of the world gets attention like that. You feel very protective of it. 

I don't want to get into a whole COVID discussion, but does anyone else find her views of it confusing? She acted like she was taking it very seriously with her isolation and masks, but then took a lot of trips. She got vaccinated but now acts like she's completely protected and doesn't seem concerned about the fact that she can still get it or pass it on. I know you can't just stop living, but so much of what she's done feels hypocritical.

My 10yo has COVID right now so all 4 of us are quarantined. She's not having breathing difficulties but, as many kids do, is having a lot of ocular issues and inflammation. It's not pretty. 

And don't forget the bullshit Lenny storyline where he shows up out of the blue and spends the night and also makes her breakfast the next morning, all sans mask.

As with everything Whitney, she talks out of both sides of her ample ass.  

[monagatuna]

10 hours ago, jacksgirl said:

I think Glenn said "Cappy." Maybe we need a contest 

1. What name did Glenn say?

2. Human or pet?

3. Will Whitney make it all about her?

1. Cappy

2. Pet

3. What does your heart tell you?

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I totally forgot about her trip to Maine! So during the pandemic, a period in which she supposedly rarely the house and saw anyone, she traveled to Maine, SSI, France (for 6 weeks), the lake house, and Asheville...

It's weird when your little corner of the world gets attention like that. You feel very protective of it. 

I don't want to get into a whole COVID discussion, but does anyone else find her views of it confusing? She acted like she was taking it very seriously with her isolation and masks, but then took a lot of trips. She got vaccinated but now acts like she's completely protected and doesn't seem concerned about the fact that she can still get it or pass it on. I know you can't just stop living, but so much of what she's done feels hypocritical.

My 10yo has COVID right now so all 4 of us are quarantined. She's not having breathing difficulties but, as many kids do, is having a lot of ocular issues and inflammation. It's not pretty. 

I live in a small city just inside a large metro area and we don't get a lot of press like on TV or anything (except when someone drives carelessly and pitches themselves off a cliff, like yesterday), but a lot of my inland friends come here when their cities are smoked out or too hot, and they come to enjoy the fog and cool air. I want to be welcoming but instead I'm like, get out! You'll mess it up!

I'm so sorry about your little one. How frustrating that she's less than two years away from the deadline to get the vaccine (and hopefully she can get it soon). I hope she makes a full and swift recovery. I do think there's some inconsistency in how she's living--she masked up until she was fully vaccinated around her parents, and possibly even after, but still hugged them. Same with Will. She screeched and wouldn't open the door for Ryan at the start of the pandemic but went on vacation with him, maskless in the water. She flips out at Ryan even existing in her vicinity, but will boohoo without a mask in the rain because she "wasn't ready for a baby" right next to him. I'm pretty sure she went to France and other places before the vaccine was available to her Part of me is kind of forgiving because the guidance was all over the place and we don't know what the timelines for everything are, but I do find it a bit hypocritical how she's acting.

[Tanstaafl]

According to the closed captioning Glenn said "Cathy's dead". Thankfully I have my DVR set for 15 minute jumps so I didn't have to rewatch more than a minute to get to the right part.

[mamadrama]

38 minutes ago, monagatuna said:

1. Cappy

2. Pet

3. What does your heart tell you?

I live in a small city just inside a large metro area and we don't get a lot of press like on TV or anything (except when someone drives carelessly and pitches themselves off a cliff, like yesterday), but a lot of my inland friends come here when their cities are smoked out or too hot, and they come to enjoy the fog and cool air. I want to be welcoming but instead I'm like, get out! You'll mess it up!

I'm so sorry about your little one. How frustrating that she's less than two years away from the deadline to get the vaccine (and hopefully she can get it soon). I hope she makes a full and swift recovery. I do think there's some inconsistency in how she's living--she masked up until she was fully vaccinated around her parents, and possibly even after, but still hugged them. Same with Will. She screeched and wouldn't open the door for Ryan at the start of the pandemic but went on vacation with him, maskless in the water. She flips out at Ryan even existing in her vicinity, but will boohoo without a mask in the rain because she "wasn't ready for a baby" right next to him. I'm pretty sure she went to France and other places before the vaccine was available to her Part of me is kind of forgiving because the guidance was all over the place and we don't know what the timelines for everything are, but I do find it a bit hypocritical how she's acting.

Yeah, my little one was so close to getting vaccinated. I know it won't completely protect them, but I'll take whatever precaution I can. 

Yeah, Whitney does talk out of both sides of her mouth. She's crazy hypocritical about a lot of things. SHE can do X but others can't. It's exhausting. 

Re: the whole "caregiver" thing...

Whitney is not her parents' caregiver. She arguably has one herself. Her parents are still of sound mind and are still physically and mentally able to take care of themselves and each other. I'm 41 and had a stroke 2 years ago. I am still able to go to doctors' appointments and confer with them about my ongoing care. I still have issues, but I certainly haven't needed my mother to make decisions for me. If Whitney becomes her parents' caregiver down the road (and I don't think she will) then they can cross that bridge when they get there. As of now, however, none of them are there. The only person in this situation who seems to have trouble making healthy and safe decisions about their own care is Whit. 

[all4mom2]

8 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

Re: the whole "caregiver" thing...

Whitney is not her parents' caregiver. 

I didn't say she WAS her parents' caregiver.  I said adult children who would become their parents' caregivers in the event of an (arguably) preventable accident have a legitimate concern.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, all4mom2 said:

Not to defend Twit, but with an aging parent, it kind of becomes your business at some point since you -- the adult child -- are the one who will be dealing with whatever consequence of whatever accident they have that could have been prevented (unless you're the type to just walk away and pretend you don't know them afterwards).  If you're going to be the caregiver, then the fact is you do have skin in the game. 

Nonetheless, it's their decision.  You can suggest, but not coerce or force and should NEVER infantalize.

As for how to "elder-proof" a home, all anyone has to do is consult Dr. Google.

 

I see what you mean but it's really not your business, at least not in the eyes of the law.  You may have to deal with the consequences of their bad judgment but you have no legal right to force your will upon people that are considered of sound mind to make their own decisions.  And yeah, that sucks.  Unfortunately there is zero support for people in such situations with their parents.  As I've written before, I went through this with my 90+ year old father.  I thought he should stop driving but got NO support from anyone other than sympathetic looks from social workers and therapists.  All you can do is try to convince them.  My father had a valid driver's license.  The fact that he kept scraping the car against the gate to the parking lot, the building garage door, etc. was not legally recognized as evidence to support revoking his license.  Neither was his age.  His apartment building forced his hand after he did enough damage to the garage door that they prohibited him from parking in the garage.  It was their right to do that.  He had no choice but to give up the car because he wasn't going to be able to deal with finding a parking space on the street in NYC.  I took the car up to my house in CT at the end of Feb. 2020 and had the scratches and dents fixed.  By April 4th he was dead of Covid.

I was just lucky he didn't hit a person before I took the car.  You know I lost sleep worrying about this.  But the point is that other than try to convince him to stop driving there was really nothing I could do.  The apartment building actually did me a favor by prohibiting him from parking in the garage.  Before that I was at the end of my rope with him and even the counselors experienced in dealing with the aging told me that there was nothing I could do because he was of sound mind, etc.

So I see both sides of this but in context my father was 92 not in his 70s.  If I had tried to force him to do stuff like that at Babs and Glenn's age the therapists wouldn't have sympathized with me but told me to GTFO and leave him alone.  Let's face it, this bitch just wants to feel important, that's all this is about.  If she really cared about her parents she would have driven them up to the front door of that testing facility instead of parking first and making them walk all the way up there.  But even if I did that (which I wouldn't have) my father would have had the sense to ask me to drop him off at the door then go park.  But that lack of sense has nothing to do with their age, IMHO.  I think a lot of what is being ascribed to a loss of judgment due to age is misplaced because neither of these people is old enough to be in that category.  If they are making bad judgments it's because they're stupid and stubborn, not because they're old.

[kicotan]

I want a nickel from her for every time she says “like” so I can buy something incredibly expensive.  However, if she starts doing the vocal fry thing, I’m out.

sorry/not sorry

Edited September 17, 2021 by kicotan
Clarity

[kicotan]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

Let's face it, this bitch just wants to feel important, that's all this is about. 

I doubt it.  It’s merely a storyline she’s participating in.  She’s more than likely too self absorbed and barely able to run her own life to concern herself or have the actual ability to be a caregiver to her parents.

Remember that scene of her sitting in the car eating popcorn while Babs took a dive miscalculating a curb?  Neither her husband nor her son were by her side helping her navigate that curb, either, but she couldn’t even be arsed to get out of the car.  I think the only portion that was non-scripted out of the whole episode was Babs’ fall…yet no one is wringing their hands about how they should have been there, at her elbow, helping her navigate that curb.

[Yeah No]

54 minutes ago, kicotan said:

I doubt it.  It’s merely a storyline she’s participating in.  She’s more than likely too self absorbed and barely able to run her own life to concern herself or have the actual ability to be a caregiver to her parents.

Of course not, it's just that she wants to look important, like a responsible person that cares about her family.  It's all about appearance.  If she thinks she looks important and responsible she can tell herself that she is important and responsible.  I personally think that deep down she wants people to see her that way because how they see her makes her feel important.  Like she's important because she has sycophants online that love her.  Never mind if any of what she does is real or not.  Having a child, once again it would be about her not really the child.  She is now making her parents about her not them.  "My parents can't take care of themselves so I will take care of them and save the day.  Look how important I am".  She wants people to envy her.  Meanwhile we all know she doesn't really care about them as much as herself.  It's for show.

54 minutes ago, kicotan said:

Remember that scene of her sitting in the car eating popcorn while Babs took a dive miscalculating a curb?  Neither her husband nor her son were by her side helping her navigate that curb, either, but she couldn’t even be arsed to get out of the car.  I think the only portion that was non-scripted out of the whole episode was Babs’ fall…yet no one is wringing their hands about how they should have been there, at her elbow, helping her navigate that curb.

 Yeah I mentioned that scene in my post.  Like I said, if she really cared about her parents she would have at least driven them up to the door of the facility instead of parking first and completely tuning out before making sure they got inside OK.  

And actually Babs' husband and son were by her side they just weren't paying enough attention as she stepped up onto the curb.  They tried to catch her fall before she landed but were too late.  I guess Whitney thought her brother was up to taking care of them but he's as useless as she is.

 

Edited September 17, 2021 by Yeah No

[AvoidinDaChubRub]

Best parts of this episode : SSI!! And Mamadrama's pics here. It's now on my travel bucket list!!! Thanks for posting pics and giving local insight!
Yeah that yelling from the truck was a total set-up. The St Paddys Day parade incident showed the yeller with a microphone pack sticking out his pants, so I wouldnt have thought production would have scripted another fake yeller.

Ashley in the pool: ...not enough tequila in the world....LOL You said it Ash!

I would have liked to hear more from the other women at the retreat! They seemed way more interesting than Twitney!!!

That awkward set-up with Todd and Heather... eesh, I guess they need that paycheck!

[mamadrama]

16 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I see what you mean but it's really not your business, at least not in the eyes of the law.  You may have to deal with the consequences of their bad judgment but you have no legal right to force your will upon people that are considered of sound mind to make their own decisions.  And yeah, that sucks.  Unfortunately there is zero support for people in such situations with their parents.  As I've written before, I went through this with my 90+ year old father.  I thought he should stop driving but got NO support from anyone other than sympathetic looks from social workers and therapists.  All you can do is try to convince them.  My father had a valid driver's license.  The fact that he kept scraping the car against the gate to the parking lot, the building garage door, etc. was not legally recognized as evidence to support revoking his license.  Neither was his age.  His apartment building forced his hand after he did enough damage to the garage door that they prohibited him from parking in the garage.  It was their right to do that.  He had no choice but to give up the car because he wasn't going to be able to deal with finding a parking space on the street in NYC.  I took the car up to my house in CT at the end of Feb. 2020 and had the scratches and dents fixed.  By April 4th he was dead of Covid.

I was just lucky he didn't hit a person before I took the car.  You know I lost sleep worrying about this.  But the point is that other than try to convince him to stop driving there was really nothing I could do.  The apartment building actually did me a favor by prohibiting him from parking in the garage.  Before that I was at the end of my rope with him and even the counselors experienced in dealing with the aging told me that there was nothing I could do because he was of sound mind, etc.

So I see both sides of this but in context my father was 92 not in his 70s.  If I had tried to force him to do stuff like that at Babs and Glenn's age the therapists wouldn't have sympathized with me but told me to GTFO and leave him alone.  Let's face it, this bitch just wants to feel important, that's all this is about.  If she really cared about her parents she would have driven them up to the front door of that testing facility instead of parking first and making them walk all the way up there.  But even if I did that (which I wouldn't have) my father would have had the sense to ask me to drop him off at the door then go park.  But that lack of sense has nothing to do with their age, IMHO.  I think a lot of what is being ascribed to a loss of judgment due to age is misplaced because neither of these people is old enough to be in that category.  If they are making bad judgments it's because they're stupid and stubborn, not because they're old.

I'm so sorry about your dad. 😞 I didn't know that. 

I have power of attorney for my mom and she has a living will, but that only allows me to make decisions for her if she's incapacitated. Like during surgery. She's not ready for me to have any kind of guardianship. The laws and restrictions suck when you really are trying to help, but if we didn't have them in place then people would be declaring each other mentally incapacitated left and right and making decisions for their own benefits. Like Dee Blanchard and Gypsy. 

I agree about the stubbornness. These aren't people who are old and feeble, these are people who probably don't want to make changes because they like the way things are and don't like being bullied by their toddler-acting daughter (the one they created). Glen is still able to hold down a job and Babs can keep herself and the house tidy, film a reality show, and have functioning relationships with those around her.

I don't think Glen will ever have Whitney become an official caregiver to him and Babs. My guess is that he'd move them into an assisted living facility first. He's no dummy. 

I really enjoyed the other women in the episode. The house they stayed in was cool, but LOTS of those have gone up over the island and it's becoming a problem. Developers are taking over the wetlands and it's becoming really congested and sad. 

Edited September 17, 2021 by mamadrama

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, mamadrama said:

I'm so sorry about your dad. 😞 I didn't know that. 

I have power of attorney for my mom and she gas a living will, but that only allows me to make decisions for her if she's incapacitated. Like during surgery. She's not ready for me to have any kind if guardianship. The laws and restrictions suck when you really are trying to help, but if we didn't have them in place then people would be declaring each other mentally capacitated left and right and making decisions for their own benefits. Like Dee Blanchard and Gypsy. 

Thank you!  The durable POA I had gave me broad permission to act on my Dad's behalf to manage his finances and make medical decisions even if he was not technically medically unable to act on his own.  He didn't have to give me permission to pay his bills or handle his car insurance claims etc.  But then again my Dad trusted me not to abuse it.  It depends on how the POA is worded.  I couldn't just make him hand over his driver's license or legally force him to live somewhere he didn't want to live.  If he was of sound mind according to his doctors I had no right to do that even with the POA.  If I were Whitney's parents I wouldn't trust her with a POA because knowing her she'd use it to do all kinds of things that may not be in their best interests or attempt to overstep the authority it gave her.

12 hours ago, Tanstaafl said:

According to the closed captioning Glenn said "Cathy's dead". Thankfully I have my DVR set for 15 minute jumps so I didn't have to rewatch more than a minute to get to the right part.

I keep the closed captioning on a lot because on these reality shows they often don't have the greatest diction - anyway, not to be a negative Nancy, but I have found that it is often incorrect and even whatever or whoever is doing the captioning can't make out what they're saying especially if it's a proper name!

[kicotan]

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

And actually Babs' husband and son were by her side they just weren't paying enough attention as she stepped up onto the curb.  They tried to catch her fall before she landed but were too late.  I guess Whitney thought her brother was up to taking care of them but he's as useless as she is.

Walking with someone and helping them to navigate obstacles can be two different things.  My point was neither Glenn, brother nor Whitney were there for Babs in a caretaking capacity.  It’s not really that dire of a situation for them to even casually think about.  She would have been in the same boat going alone with an Uber.

if Whitney REALLY wanted to solve the upstairs/downstairs living issue she’d buy them a stairlift as an early Christmas gift.  Fake arguing with her parents is better  soap opera drama & fodder for the forums, though! LOL

I take care of my unforgivingly stubborn 94 y/o mother…we all breathed a GIANT sigh of relief when she voluntarily gave up the keys and gifted her car to my then college student daughter 3 years ago.

Edited September 17, 2021 by kicotan
Adjectives

[Elizzikra]

Quote

she couldn’t even be arsed to get out of the car. 

In her defense, I don't think that she saw Babs fall. Though I'm sure production told her (or could have).

Quote

if Whitney REALLY wanted to solve the upstairs/downstairs living issue she’d buy them a stairlift as an early Christmas gift.  Fake arguing with her parents is better  soap opera drama & fodder for the forums, though! LOL

And pay someone to install it. But I can still see them not wanting to use it.

I do believe that Whitney loves her parents and wants them safe. Even if you take on no caretaking responsibility for your parents whatsoever, you don't want them to get hurt or sick or to be in pain. I think a lot of this is played up as a storyline for a show that doesn't have much to work with but I don't doubt that Whitney loves her parents, in her own stubborn, misguided way.

[Yeah No]

36 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

In her defense, I don't think that she saw Babs fall. Though I'm sure production told her (or could have).

And pay someone to install it. But I can still see them not wanting to use it.

No she didn't see Babs fall.  And yes she does love them but her focus on herself compromises her ability to care for them enough.

Is it me - I have a vague memory of an episode after Babs' stroke where they had a discussion about getting a stair lift, but Babs didn't want it.  Or did I fantasize that?

[auntjess]

On 9/13/2021 at 12:06 PM, Persnickety1 said:

I love this bullshit.

I've never heard anything thus far but a blur on the screen trying to engage Whitney in some sort of conversational French whilst she sits on the other end of said blur trying to coerce him into sexual innuendo and proclamations of lust.  

"Bon jour monsieur, how do I say 'I am preparing to harvest my eggs' so that we can have babies? Also, I will stalk you to the ends of the earth."

[auntjess]

On 9/14/2021 at 9:22 PM, lennon said:

I wonder how many times Whit has peed in the pool at the retreat.

I was waiting for her to announce it!

[auntjess]

On 9/14/2021 at 10:49 PM, LeesburgLee said:

It makes me so angry the way she speaks to and treats her parents. How dare she say she’s scheduling painters for their home and will start cleaning out their garage? Who asked her? Not to mention, who is she planning to have pay for all this work? The parents who don’t want it?

Yes, this is such an offensive thing to do.  And it isn't as if she supports them, because I'm sure whatever TLC doesn't pay, comes from them.

[TzuShih]

To all those here who are dealing with the decline of aging parents, my heart goes out to you.  My mother used to drive in from LI to NYC to visit me ... up into her 80's.  Sometimes she took the train to Penn Station.  I always asked her if she'd like me to meet her at the station, and we'd then take the subway up to my neighborhood, together.  She always laughed and said, "Not yet! I'll tell you 'when I'm ready!!'"😉  To make a long story short, over time, she developed dementia...but I was SO lucky that she 'figured that out herself.'  She graciously accepted all that her daughters could do to help her during those sad, trying times.  I am still devastated reliving those painful last years, but hearing others' stories, I realize I was blessed that my mom, even during her worst years of dementia, somehow knew that what we did for her was out of love.  (From what I've read, this behavior could be a key difference between dementia and Alzheimer's.)

So.....to all those dealing with aging parents, I send you all my support -- and PLEASE don't be too hard on yourselves. Give yourself a hug -- that hug that your ailing mom or dad would give you from their heart...if only they could. ♥️

[Texasmom1970]

On a positive note at least Whit kept her entire bathing suit on when they got in the pool!

[Elizzikra]

18 minutes ago, Texasmom1970 said:

On a positive note at least Whit kept her entire bathing suit on when they got in the pool!

Progress!

[LuvMyShows]

On 9/15/2021 at 11:55 AM, bichonblitz said:

Typical of Whit to make that nice dinner all about herself. Pouting over Avi. Those poor gals having to listen to her. 

As I watched it, I thought, "She is loving having a captive audience."

On 9/15/2021 at 1:33 PM, princelina said:

Well first Whit would have to do the work of finding, calling and scheduling the painters.  I guess their money's on "she'll be too lazy to actually do anything"! 😄

 

Too funny...and too true!

[Yeah No]

11 hours ago, TzuShih said:

To all those here who are dealing with the decline of aging parents, my heart goes out to you.  My mother used to drive in from LI to NYC to visit me ... up into her 80's.  Sometimes she took the train to Penn Station.  I always asked her if she'd like me to meet her at the station, and we'd then take the subway up to my neighborhood, together.  She always laughed and said, "Not yet! I'll tell you 'when I'm ready!!'"😉  To make a long story short, over time, she developed dementia...but I was SO lucky that she 'figured that out herself.'  She graciously accepted all that her daughters could do to help her during those sad, trying times.  I am still devastated reliving those painful last years, but hearing others' stories, I realize I was blessed that my mom, even during her worst years of dementia, somehow knew that what we did for her was out of love.  (From what I've read, this behavior could be a key difference between dementia and Alzheimer's.)

So.....to all those dealing with aging parents, I send you all my support -- and PLEASE don't be too hard on yourselves. Give yourself a hug -- that hug that your ailing mom or dad would give you from their heart...if only they could. ♥️

You brought tears to my eyes - My Dad said the same thing - he drove the 2 hours from NY to visit me in CT up until his mid 80s.  He was gracious about it when I told him it was time to stop.  Then we started taking turns driving down to get him and bringing him up here and back.  He didn't develop dementia.  Maybe if Covid hadn't taken him he would have lived longer than 92 and I might have had to deal with that.

Thinking about this WRT to Whitney's parents I'm not so sure they would be that stubborn not to listen to such advice but again they're not in their mid 80s yet.  Admittedly they don't seem quite as robust as my Dad was at their age, though.

[mamadrama]

So either things went down pretty close to what were seeing and Whit is totally delusional about Le Dudezer Blur OR he truly was interested in her and post production is having the time of their lives in the editing room.

Either scenario should have Whit examining her life choices.

[Ketzel]

On 9/17/2021 at 2:23 AM, Yeah No said:

And actually Babs' husband and son were by her side they just weren't paying enough attention as she stepped up onto the curb.  They tried to catch her fall before she landed but were too late.

 

I have some sympathy for Glenn and Hunter in this situation. It's stunning how quickly a fall can happen. I was walking with my 82-year-old father in a park near his house. He had some balance issues and I had my arm through his as we approached a gate that led to a meditation area he liked to visit. I turned my head and reached out with my free hand to open the gate and the next thing I knew, my father was on the ground.  Fortunately, he wasn't hurt, although he did tear a seam in his favorite corduroy pants. :)

I felt terribly guilty about this, especially when he told me he didn't know what had happened. As far as he was concerned, he was just standing, and then he was wasn't standing. I probably reached Whitney-levels of  self-absorbed worry until my mother told me to cut it out. She said very matter-of-factly, "These things happen. We  know the risks. Your father isn't ready to use a quad-cane and that's his choice."  It was a hard truth to hear but I heard it loud and clear. A mentally competent adult gets to use his/her own judgment even if  you really really want them to do something else.  

 

 

[Kid]

I just watched the Todd scenes. His face looks gaunt - it looks completely different.  If I did not know that was Todd, I would not have known it was Todd.  With regard to his eyes, I had severe allergies when I lived in Austin and that is how my eyes looked if I had contact lenses in them. So that may be his problem.

[TzuShih]

10 hours ago, Yeah No said:

You brought tears to my eyes - My Dad said the same thing - he drove the 2 hours from NY to visit me in CT up until his mid 80s.  He was gracious about it when I told him it was time to stop.  Then we started taking turns driving down to get him and bringing him up here and back.  He didn't develop dementia.  Maybe if Covid hadn't taken him he would have lived longer than 92 and I might have had to deal with that.

Thinking about this WRT to Whitney's parents I'm not so sure they would be that stubborn not to listen to such advice but again they're not in their mid 80s yet.  Admittedly they don't seem quite as robust as my Dad was at their age, though.

You were so blessed to have your Dad be such an active part of your life for all those good years!  (And I can't imagine how overwhelming it must have been to loose him to Covid.  Such nightmare times...)  My condolences.... 💗

[Persnickety1]

That poor lovely poodle is on its third name.

First was its rescue name (name #1), which Whitney apparently didn't like and changed.

It went by that name (name #2) for a while.

Now it's being called "Goose" (name #3) for some apparent reason.

No wonder the dog is confused.

Add in the fact that the poor dog doesn't know Todd at all and is being called by yet another name and no wonder it's hiding and not wanting to come in.  

Ugh.  

[Cache]

 Something I saw in the show in the past makes me think Todd's a runner, and (IMO) a lot of those serious runners have a gaunt look to them. Anyone else recall?

[SongbirdHollow]

On 9/18/2021 at 10:57 AM, Ketzel said:

 A mentally competent adult gets to use his/her own judgment even if  you really really want them to do something else.  

 

 

Until one day it finally gets so bad you convince him to go to the doctor and the doctor comes out to the waiting room full of people and snaps his fingers at you and yells, “This is neglect!”

True story. It’s not fun.