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S12.E16: Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace


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I thought Erik’s final little speech to Virginia was a bit odd. While I very much think that Virginia has plenty of problems, I wouldn’t necessarily have trusted all those declarations of extreme love. Unless it was mostly editing, they seemed to have spent most of the previous month at each other’s throats. All of a sudden he acts like he unconditionally loves her? I could be wrong, but it seemed more like he was pitching to her that they should stay together so he wouldn’t end up divorced a second time/be embarrassed on TV than that he was actually desperately in love with her. I’d have been skeptical personally. 

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37 minutes ago, ReadMeLattice said:

Yeah, a lot of people on social media hated her answers but I saw them as refreshingly honest. Who cares if she just wants to fall in love, do her job and have fun in life? She’s contributing to society with a decent job that needs to be done and she’s a nice person. What’s the big deal? I feel like Ryan thinks he’s a lot fancier and “greater” than he is.

I noticed he frowned and looked all annoyed when she said she didn’t think her contributions to society were greater than the average person... well, most of ours are not! Most of us just have families or careers or both and live our lives. It’s actually nice to see someone just be honest about that instead of bragging. 🤷‍♀️ Also, I haven’t heard what these massive ambitions of his even are besides spending hours at the gym every day. 

100%! Everything she answered was probably what I would answer too! And I have an average normal job and life. I actually laughed because I feel that the editing was done to really make it look like Ryan was extremely disturbed by her choices, what with the doomsday music every time she answered. I think that's just show manipulation. It really feels like the show is working overtime to make them look like a mess, but I don't think it's that bad in reality. Is it true love? I'm not sure, but I could totally see these two being real friends even if they do split up.

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2 hours ago, luvgoldens said:

If we didn't know what show we were watching, that scene started like something out of a slasher movie.  He tells her he has a good surprise for  her and to close her eyes.  Here they are in bed, Bri with her eyes closed and Vincent pulls out a pair of scissors!  Luckily he only cuts off a piece of her hair, but how weird.  Vincent seems to have a mean streak that emerges when he feels slighted.  And all it takes is being told he is unorganized?  Run Brianna!

Dateline! 😱

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I think Virginia would be so much prettier if you couldn’t see the alcohol symptoms all over her face . She doesn’t look like a healthy , youthful person and drinking like she does will do that to you . 
 

I think Erik loves the idea of Ginny and I think he loves the hard to get part of her . He wants to control her and their relationship , and she’s just not giving in to his control so it’s making him think he loves her when really it has nothing to do with her and he just wants her, or someone to love/ want him . Preferably someone he’s attracted to which she fits the Bill.  It seems to be the challenge for him that is making him think he’s in love but what most of the viewers see are two mismatched people . I guess time will tell . 

Though I will admit the name Virginia Lake is cool . Guarantee that’s why the experts matched them ! Wouldn’t be surprised . 

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3 hours ago, Racj82 said:

These episodes are by far the most pointless. You could have done all this in hour and then in the second hour, give their decisions. I just skipped the whole ordeal. I'll check in again next week.

Past MAFS seasons, the inane, aimless, redundant, valueless episodes are to be expected as the season circles the drain...but Season 12 is a clogged smelly toilet that is requiring endless plunging and roto rootering to flush away.

 Seasons 1-11 at the very least, the bar set at its very lowest, we found a scooch, the slimmest sliver of entertainment value, with the audience finding favorites among the cast of misfits idiots.

Season 12 has repulsed even the hardest of the core of old long timer posters to look away.

The least of the intolerables of the 12th's cast are insufferable succotashes, to quote Sylvester the Cat.

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14 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Past MAFS seasons, the inane, aimless, redundant, valueless episodes are to be expected as the season circles the drain...but Season 12 is a clogged smelly toilet that is requiring endless plunging and roto rootering to flush away.

 Seasons 1-11 at the very least, the bar set at its very lowest, we found a scooch, the slimmest sliver of entertainment value, with the audience finding favorites among the cast of misfits idiots.

Season 12 has repulsed even the hardest of the core of old long timer posters to look away.

The least of the intolerables of the 12th's cast are insufferable succotashes, to quote Sylvester the Cat.

So True!!! What's making it even worse, is this new Unmatchables show that makes it hard to distinguish what exactly made those people worse choices than the ones who were actually chosen for this show! Because from where I sit at least half these people should have been candidates for that show instead of this one.....at the very least, this season would have been better if they had swapped Chris and Xavius..........

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1 hour ago, ReadMeLattice said:

I could be wrong, but it seemed more like he was pitching to her that they should stay together so he wouldn’t end up divorced a second time/be embarrassed on TV than that he was actually desperately in love with her.

You are not wrong...I think this is the correct read.  He is desperate because he doesn't want to get dumped or "fail." Not because he's sooooo in love with her. All he ever talks about is how great and wonderful everything is. Ginny brings up  their problems and tries to talk about them but he just gets annoyed she won't go along with the "perfect" charade.

Ryan is SUCH a weirdo! God! When Clara says he's everything she wanted in a husband I'm like, huh? Does he ever just like kick back and chill? He's probably terrible in bed too, if he's that uptight. Run!  I know you won't though.

Also run Bri! Vinny is a jerk...Someone else pointed out that she brought up a minor thing (his lack of organization--who the fuck takes that personally) and he goes straight for the throat with the thing he knows will hurt her. That's a total pattern for him. And yes, she's kinda bossy whatever that means, but she's aware of it and we have seen her take steps to work on it.  Too much, IMO, catering to that puffy manbaby. Bri is successful, very cute, and emotionally aware. She's very good at talking about her feelings and bringing up issues in a kind manner (is she the one with the therapist mom?) Vinny is so far beneath her.

Haley and Jake, I got nothing. Please, go.

 DD Predictions:

Erik yes/Ginny no

Ryan yes/Clara yes

Vinny yes/Bri no

Jake yes/ Haley no

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@glitterpussy, totally re: Bri. She made a minor comment about organization, and even quickly covered it over by joking about how she’s organized enough for both of them. It was NOT some severe call-out or whatever. He responded by basically saying he asked the experts for someone who wasn’t her and he didn’t get what he wanted, as well as saying that he was turned off at their wedding which she likely remembers as a wonderful day. Like... damn! Calm down. 

I mean, what are their future conversations going to be like?

“That thing you said this morning annoyed me a little, could you try to be a little softer with your tone?” 

”oh really? Well I’m not attracted to you anymore after you gave birth, I had doubts on our honeymoon, and I looked up divorce proceedings last year.” 

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14 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Erik, Erik, Erik. His needs and neediness are so much that he cannot see that Virginia is not right for him.

Ironically, Erik will feel profoundly alone if they remain married.  

Amen. He is willfully naive about Virginia and her problems.  But some people have to learn the hard way.  That's where Erik's beliefs about himself are going to kick him in the ass.  I like Erik a lot but he is a know-it-all and he thinks V only needs to make a few changes . . .  he will have to confront soon the fact that he can be wrong sometimes.  

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43 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

So True!!! What's making it even worse, is this new Unmatchables show that makes it hard to distinguish what exactly made those people worse choices than the ones who were actually chosen for this show! Because from where I sit at least half these people should have been candidates for that show instead of this one.....at the very least, this season would have been better if they had swapped Chris and Xavius..........

One of the guys on there is considered unmatchable because he’s shallow and too focused on looks. 

Um... have they met Chris?

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This season was so difficult to watch that I am done.  I will finish this season to decision day but then, on MY decision day, I will never watch again.  What they should do:

1) Not give Chris even one more second of air time.  They should delete his image etc. 

2) One of the "experts" should explain to people why his behavior was abusive and as a public service use those scenes to tell people to get out of abusive situations and how.  

3) Find a nice walk on part for Paige on some show giving her hair, makeup and beautiful clothes for it.  

4) Get Paige therapy for the hurtful things that were said to her.

If they do not do #1 and #2... I might write to some of the advertisers. I think it's appalling that in 2021 they wouldn't address the issue.  It's a REALITY show not some soap opera.  It's irresponsible. That whole "submissive and a freak", "it's my wife"  shit is so offensive to women.  

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1 hour ago, Devvie said:

Amen. He is willfully naive about Virginia and her problems.

This is what I don't get about Erik. He's like a Jekyl and Hyde. He has issues with just about everything she does, he is constantly criticizing her, wants kids, wants a conventional marriage, she wants none of that. They can't even agree on how to train a dog or where to live but then he professes his undying love to her! That convo at dinner was painful. He really went overboard with the sweetness, hand holding and eye gazing. He wouldn't shut up about how much he loves her, how he loves to see her smile, how he lives for these romantic moments, blah blah. She didn't respond likewise to him once. Not Once. She just sad there and smiled. Something very strange is going on with this guy who used to be my favorite. 

Vinny is so immature. I also agree with some others that think the term "bossy" is the wrong word to describe Bri. Confident, smart, ambitious, hard working,  yes. But bossy? I'm not seeing it. Oh, and Vin, keep your fucking hands and scissors away from Bri's hair! 

Clara is another one. She repeatedly said last night how she thinks she and Ryan are perfect for each other. Whaaaat? 

Don't care at all about Haley and Jake or the fact that they were pretending to actually like each other for a hot minute. 

I have a sick feeling we are going to be subjected to Paige and Chris on last time. 

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Well, this was two hours of bullshit filler, to be followed next week by more bullshit filler until we can get to the bullshit Decision Day.  Awesome!

Someone posted upthread (apologies, I don't recall who) that Vincent has a bit of a mean streak.  Thank you.  I couldn't put my finger on what it was, other than being moody but that's it.  He does seem to have a mean streak.  Brianna doesn't need that.  Nor does anyone else.  I was HORRIFIED that he cut her braid, after telling her she was going to get a good surprise.  HELL, NO.  You don't mess with anyone's hair.  And you certainly don't cut it, even if she has said that she was going to take her extensions/braids out.  I'd be walking right there.  

If Vincent doesn't understand that saying you're not organized is not a harsh criticism - or even necessarily a criticism - he needs to stay single.  It's a fact.  Some are incredibly organized, some aren't.  No biggie.  Kind of like Ryan being incredibly goal-oriented and driven and Clara just wants to be happy and enjoy her job.  Nothing wrong with either.  

Erik clearly wants this to work out so badly that he's willing to overlook Virginia's cats sharing a bed and Virginia's alcohol consumption.  He is obviously going to say yes but I don't think Virginia will (nor should she).  I did notice that her friends did not get it at all.  They were questioning if Erik had a problem with Virginia getting wasted and passing out on friends' couches as an issue of trust.  No, drunks.  It's an issue of maturity and alcoholism.  

Speaking of Erik, did anyone else notice that up until this week, Erik's wedding ring was black and last night it was silver/platinum?  

I love how last night Jake and Haley were saying they should be cordial, really consider the future, etc.  Shouldn't you have been doing that the entire time?  And I direct that mostly to Haley, since I think she's been terrible to Jake.  I think the only reason they both seemed smiley and happy is because they both know this farce is nearly over.  

I think Ryan and Clara have the best chance to make it, provided that Ryan's decision not to have full-on sex is not due to any repression issues, hang-ups, confusion, etc.  He definitely needs to lighten up, though, and as someone else wisely said, get out of his own head.  

I have to wonder why the "experts" didn't match Clara with Erik - seems like they would have been a good match, given their careers in the airline industry and the desire both of them have to be married and have a family.  

Jake continues to be my favorite MAFS man this season.  He's a great dog dad, he has a sense of humor, he's loyal and seems like a good guy all around.  I think Haley made a big mistake. 

 

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5 hours ago, ReadMeLattice said:

Yeah, a lot of people on social media hated her answers but I saw them as refreshingly honest. Who cares if she just wants to fall in love, do her job and have fun in life? She’s contributing to society with a decent job that needs to be done and she’s a nice person. What’s the big deal? I feel like Ryan thinks he’s a lot fancier and “greater” than he is.

I noticed he frowned and looked all annoyed when she said she didn’t think her contributions to society were greater than the average person... well, most of ours are not! Most of us just have families or careers or both and live our lives. It’s actually nice to see someone just be honest about that instead of bragging. 🤷‍♀️ Also, I haven’t heard what these massive ambitions of his even are besides spending hours at the gym every day. 

I thought Clara was refreshingly honest.  Nice thing about being a flight attendant is seeing the world.  If I were young and had to do it all over again, I'd be a flight attendant.  

And yes, what exactly does Ryan do other than workout constantly?

 

9 minutes ago, Crashcourse said:

I guess Jakeandeggs in the tattered, sleeveless shirt was to show off his muscles to the ladies watching since he knows Haley's not interested.   Trying too hard.

I liked it!

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I'm with you all on Vinny.  Damn, he has some major issues.  Cutting the hair was a bridge too fair and shows his complete disdain for her.  I hope she dumps his ass.  

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1 hour ago, ReadMeLattice said:

One of the guys on there is considered unmatchable because he’s shallow and too focused on looks. 

Um... have they met Chris?

Exactly! Xavius was at least nice and more genuine than that POS Chris! If he was open enough to go on a second date with the chubby girl who farts, he would probably would have been more than happy to see Paige walk down the aisle!

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31 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

I have to wonder why the "experts" didn't match Clara with Erik - seems like they would have been a good match, given their careers in the airline industry and the desire both of them have to be married and have a family.  

Perhaps b/c Clara herself said that she's dated every color of the rainbow and prefers men who are ethnically ambiguous. I doubt white bread Erik would float her boat.

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5 hours ago, Airy2021 said:

Erik reeks of a mixture of white privilege and wealth but also incredible insecurity. I’m guessing, based on the photos before his facial surgeries, that he has low self esteem and feels the need to be uber in control of his partner at all times. It’s odd because his ex wife was legitimately beautiful. Way prettier and seemingly more “together” compared to Virginia. I think Erik should have been matched to someone more conservative like he is though. He seems pretty staunch about that and Virginia obviously isn’t. Erik must have told the experts he wanted someone fun and independent when in actuality he truly wants a stay at home wife who will pop out a couple kids and always be available to cater to his needs. I think he was disingenuous about what he seriously wanted or maybe he just doesn’t realize it. But, Ginny is too much of a wild child for him. Such a weird match. I would be totally shocked if they last long term. 

 

5 hours ago, ReadMeLattice said:

I thought Erik’s final little speech to Virginia was a bit odd. While I very much think that Virginia has plenty of problems, I wouldn’t necessarily have trusted all those declarations of extreme love. Unless it was mostly editing, they seemed to have spent most of the previous month at each other’s throats. All of a sudden he acts like he unconditionally loves her? I could be wrong, but it seemed more like he was pitching to her that they should stay together so he wouldn’t end up divorced a second time/be embarrassed on TV than that he was actually desperately in love with her. I’d have been skeptical personally. 

 

3 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

So True!!! What's making it even worse, is this new Unmatchables show that makes it hard to distinguish what exactly made those people worse choices than the ones who were actually chosen for this show! Because from where I sit at least half these people should have been candidates for that show instead of this one.....at the very least, this season would have been better if they had swapped Chris and Xavius..........

 

3 hours ago, glitterpussy said:

You are not wrong...I think this is the correct read.  He is desperate because he doesn't want to get dumped or "fail." Not because he's sooooo in love with her. All he ever talks about is how great and wonderful everything is. Ginny brings up  their problems and tries to talk about them but he just gets annoyed she won't go along with the "perfect" charade.

Ryan is SUCH a weirdo! God! When Clara says he's everything she wanted in a husband I'm like, huh? Does he ever just like kick back and chill? He's probably terrible in bed too, if he's that uptight. Run!  I know you won't though.

Also run Bri! Vinny is a jerk...Someone else pointed out that she brought up a minor thing (his lack of organization--who the fuck takes that personally) and he goes straight for the throat with the thing he knows will hurt her. That's a total pattern for him. And yes, she's kinda bossy whatever that means, but she's aware of it and we have seen her take steps to work on it.  Too much, IMO, catering to that puffy manbaby. Bri is successful, very cute, and emotionally aware. She's very good at talking about her feelings and bringing up issues in a kind manner (is she the one with the therapist mom?) Vinny is so far beneath her.

Haley and Jake, I got nothing. Please, go.

 DD Predictions:

Erik yes/Ginny no

Ryan yes/Clara yes

Vinny yes/Bri no

Jake yes/ Haley no

 

3 hours ago, Devvie said:

Amen. He is willfully naive about Virginia and her problems.  But some people have to learn the hard way.  That's where Erik's beliefs about himself are going to kick him in the ass.  I like Erik a lot but he is a know-it-all and he thinks V only needs to make a few changes . . .  he will have to confront soon the fact that he can be wrong sometimes.  

 

2 hours ago, ReadMeLattice said:

One of the guys on there is considered unmatchable because he’s shallow and too focused on looks. 

Um... have they met Chris?

 

2 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

This is what I don't get about Erik. He's like a Jekyl and Hyde. He has issues with just about everything she does, he is constantly criticizing her, wants kids, wants a conventional marriage, she wants none of that. They can't even agree on how to train a dog or where to live but then he professes his undying love to her! That convo at dinner was painful. He really went overboard with the sweetness, hand holding and eye gazing. He wouldn't shut up about how much he loves her, how he loves to see her smile, how he lives for these romantic moments, blah blah. She didn't respond likewise to him once. Not Once. She just sad there and smiled. Something very strange is going on with this guy who used to be my favorite. 

Vinny is so immature. I also agree with some others that think the term "bossy" is the wrong word to describe Bri. Confident, smart, ambitious, hard working,  yes. But bossy? I'm not seeing it. Oh, and Vin, keep your fucking hands and scissors away from Bri's hair! 

Clara is another one. She repeatedly said last night how she thinks she and Ryan are perfect for each other. Whaaaat? 

Don't care at all about Haley and Jake or the fact that they were pretending to actually like each other for a hot minute. 

I have a sick feeling we are going to be subjected to Paige and Chris on last time. 

I think Erik is all about appearances. His wealthy background and his parents loving marriage has made him feel like an absolute failure because he is divorced from his beautiful first wife. I do not know the story but I would not be surprised if she left him which killed his self esteem and embarrassed him publicly. This would explain the nose job and the lack of confidence.

Virginia is very cute and Erik's type without being out of his league in looks or accomplishments.  I also have a feeling that he is blinded by phenomenal sex, something he might not have had a lot in his life due to him being a little uptight (but not as much as Ryan). He also thinks her youth gives him the upper hand.

The way that he was begging her to stay was a little pathetic but I think in his mind, he thought it would come off incredibly romantic.

Now on to the shit show that is Unmatchables.

The two people on it this episode were obviously actors looking for their 15 minutes...there was no way these people are "unmatchable" compared to the people that were chosen for the show.  I will spoiler tag for those who have not watched.

Spoiler

 

The lady was an adorable quirky tomboy who was a bit too competitive. She was miles above Virginia in maturity. Her worst sin seemed to be she liked to eat chicken nuggets.

The guy was a southern pretty boy who seemed to have no desire to stop his parade of bimbo one night stands (there is no way this guy wanted to be married at first sight). He was an amazing gentleman compared to Chris.

They met up for a date, were obviously incompatible with each other but handled it pretty maturely. They went in for a second date where he took her to a strip club (rolling my eyes) and that was the end of their relationship.

 

 

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21 hours ago, Katie111 said:

Clara taking the personality test was the funniest thing I’ve seen on this show all season.  I love how she just lives life and it drives Ryan crazy!  

They are polar opposites, I think once the novelty wears off they could have some serious challenges but who knows if they can work through them.  She seems pretty open minded, fun and laid back, I hope he really appreciates what a gem she is....I think she would be a great Mum too.

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It seems like Virginia really took the no drinking break to heart, she has appeared to be drinking water when I've noticed.  I don't know if she has a drinking problem contrary to popular opinion here.  I drank a lot in my 20's too I think it was a big part of my social being but now I seldom ever drink and never excessively.

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1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

I guess Jakeandeggs in the tattered, sleeveless shirt was to show off his muscles to the ladies watching since he knows Haley's not interested.   Trying too hard.

I know, right?! The gall of Jake, showing off those bare muscular manly strong.....what was I saying? Oh, yes, arms! 😉 😇

Also, I don't know about the last point. I mean, on "MAFS: Australia" we've met a husband who did a calendar of nude photos!

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When Hailey said "Last night was fun" to Jake, are we really supposed to assume that they slept together after Hailey has been keeping her distance since the Honeymoon?!  I don't buy it.  Jake looked great on their dinner date, and I hope they both have enough sense to call a divorce on Decision Day.  Jake keeps harping on how it would be difficult to date again at 40 after a divorce, but it would be even more challenging to be married to someone who is passive aggressive and isn't attracted to him.  Life goes on after Married at First Sight; as soon as the season is over, I don't think about any of these people- so the cast members should move on and make the right decisions for their lives regardless of how they come off looking on TV during Decision Day.  They should all get divorced. 

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9 hours ago, Airy2021 said:

Erik reeks of a mixture of white privilege and wealth but also incredible insecurity.

I agree about the insecurity in this relationship... sorta.  But, those with privilege don't serve in the military.  You might not remember (not sure of your age) but that was one of the biggest arguments for keeping the draft (a way to equitably feed the US military).  And, yes, it appears his family is successful but not wealthy - wealthy people own jets not single engine planes IMO.  

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14 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

So, after this last episode, my one word to describe Vinny is: Jerk!  Brianna talks about organization and he immediately gets hurt and lashes back to hurt her with "bossy" and "turn-off."  He also tells her that she is the exact opposite of what he asked for in a wife.  Yep.  Of Course, he had no problem starting a sexual relationship with her in spite of her being a turn-off and opposite of what he wanted.  He can go join Chris in the Jerk Club.  Oh, and to top it all off he tells her "it was nice knowing you..."  I think he may ask for a divorce in order to show everyone that he is in control of the relationship (no spoilers, just a feeling from this episode).

I'm just going to step in here again for the second time this season to say that NO ONE in this episode needs to join Chris in the Jerk Club!  Vinnie is a crybaby and needs to grow up and check himself, but like everyone on this season EXCEPT Chris - he's not a complete narcissistic sociopath!!!  Paige is a doormat and probably a faker; Erik is too controlling and bossy, and Brianna is too; Virginia is an immature drunken party girl who is nowhere near ready for a committed relationship let alone a marriage; Ryan has a stick up his ass and Clara let's it all hang out more than a wise woman should; Jake's a weirdo and Haley's a snot.  But they all act like human beings and have a decent side to them!  Chris does not.

 

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5 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Exactly! Xavius was at least nice and more genuine than that POS Chris! If he was open enough to go on a second date with the chubby girl who farts, he would probably would have been more than happy to see Paige walk down the aisle!

 

8 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

So True!!! What's making it even worse, is this new Unmatchables show that makes it hard to distinguish what exactly made those people worse choices than the ones who were actually chosen for this show! Because from where I sit at least half these people should have been candidates for that show instead of this one.....at the very least, this season would have been better if they had swapped Chris and Xavius..........

Amen. I listened to an interview that Jac and Glen did with Xavius and he seems like a very decent guy who is really invested in helping other people. I'm going to be subscribing to his podcast. And I think he's better looking than Chris by a long shot. I'd take Xavius any day over Piss.

Here's a link to the interview if anyone wants to give it a listen: 

 

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1 hour ago, gingerandcloves said:

 

Amen. I listened to an interview that Jac and Glen did with Xavius and he seems like a very decent guy who is really invested in helping other people. I'm going to be subscribing to his podcast. And I think he's better looking than Chris by a long shot. I'd take Xavius any day over Piss.

Here's a link to the interview if anyone wants to give it a listen: 

 

Thanks for this - he is a delight! No idea what made them pick Chris over him - they definitely should have been switched! And I agree with you - he is hands down better looking than Chris! 

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On 4/28/2021 at 6:49 PM, Silver Bells said:

As much as Haley can’t tolerate Jake, she just might give it a whirl for a few more weeks as she has this problem with everyone. She might think this is her final chance.   I think he will want to try, if she tells him she will change her attitude.

Nahhhhhhhh. She doesn't care. She probably  wanted Jacob to end it for her so she wouldn't be considered the quitter/failure. Her "accomplishment" is staying "together" til Decision Day. That's enough for her. He wouldn't care what she says, especially about changing her attitude. He's seen enough to know he doesn't like her & she probably wouldn't change. 😂

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19 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

So, after this last episode, my one word to describe Vinny is: Jerk!  Brianna talks about organization and he immediately gets hurt and lashes back to hurt her with "bossy" and "turn-off."  He also tells her that she is the exact opposite of what he asked for in a wife.  Yep.

EXACTLY!! GEEZ!! Briana said something the wrong way & super FRAGILE Vincent chose to feel hurt by it & decided to try to hurt her back. FOR SHAME! GROW UP!! CHECK YOUR FEELINGS!! 😣 Assertive & direct is NOT bossy!! Dummy!! WHAT'S wrong with knowing what the other person wants & means? He sounds so dumb!!! No wonder he's insecure!! He should be!

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9 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I guess Jakeandeggs in the tattered, sleeveless shirt was to show off his muscles to the ladies watching since he knows Haley's not interested.   Trying too hard.

WTF was THAT?!! It's practically backless!! It's about to fall apart!! That's the worst thing I've seen him wear. Bleh

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12 hours ago, endure said:

It seems like Virginia really took the no drinking break to heart, she has appeared to be drinking water when I've noticed.  I don't know if she has a drinking problem contrary to popular opinion here.  I drank a lot in my 20's too I think it was a big part of my social being but now I seldom ever drink and never excessively.

I thought Virginia’s drinking seemed like a whole lot at first, but I was surprised when she kept being the only one whose drinking was talked about. In several of their arguments, Erik seemed to be a hell of a lot drunker than she was. He seemed to be imbibing quite a bit too. His words were slurring like crazy across like three different episodes. 

Based on the last few episodes, I’m thinking/hoping that they might have just been basically partying their way through their first month of marriage and reality TV? Not what I’d have done, but not necessarily indicative of alcoholism. I do think the drunken fights and the going out drinking every weekend are too much. But they have seemed to calm down and take the drinking break seriously like you said, so I’m hoping (perhaps against hope) that it was a temporary thing. 

Edited by ReadMeLattice
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14 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

Perhaps b/c Clara herself said that she's dated every color of the rainbow and prefers men who are ethnically ambiguous. I doubt white bread Erik would float her boat.

Did she actually say she prefers that or is just fine with any racial mix? 

And Erik is ultra conservative politically, so I don't think he and Clara would match for that reason alone. On this score, she and Ryan are a much better match.

I still think that Erik was going to talk himself into loving whoever walked down the aisle because he wants to be married so badly.  

I suspect they will stay together for a little while and then split.

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10 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

When Hailey said "Last night was fun" to Jake, are we really supposed to assume that they slept together after Hailey has been keeping her distance since the Honeymoon?!  I don't buy it.  Jake looked great on their dinner date, and I hope they both have enough sense to call a divorce on Decision Day.  Jake keeps harping on how it would be difficult to date again at 40 after a divorce, but it would be even more challenging to be married to someone who is passive aggressive and isn't attracted to him.  Life goes on after Married at First Sight; as soon as the season is over, I don't think about any of these people- so the cast members should move on and make the right decisions for their lives regardless of how they come off looking on TV during Decision Day.  They should all get divorced. 

Yeah, but at least one of the couples does remain together because the teaser for the couples cam show has them suggesting one of the couples will join them. 

And, no, I don't watch that because, like you said, once the season is over, I'm not interested in them or their posed antics.

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10 hours ago, Devvie said:

I agree about the insecurity in this relationship... sorta.  But, those with privilege don't serve in the military.  You might not remember (not sure of your age) but that was one of the biggest arguments for keeping the draft (a way to equitably feed the US military).  And, yes, it appears his family is successful but not wealthy - wealthy people own jets not single engine planes IMO.  

A guy I went to college (an Ivy, so lots of privileged people there) with, who grew up in one of the wealthiest suburbs in the country, joined the Marines after college because he thought it would help with his aspiring political career. I don't know if he did/does anything in politics now, but that was his goal. I think more people without privilege than with serve in the military because they want the leg up that the military might give them, but I don't think it's true that no one with privilege serves. I get the sense that Erik was expected to serve (and did so happily; he doesn't seem to have regrets about it) because he comes from a military family. Bush the elder served in the military after graduating from Exeter, a very posh boarding school.

And I know we all have different definitions of wealth, but IMO if you own any kind of plane, you're doing well. No one who lives check to check owns a plane.

10 hours ago, Hip-to-be-Square said:

Jake keeps harping on how it would be difficult to date again at 40 after a divorce, but it would be even more challenging to be married to someone who is passive aggressive and isn't attracted to him. 

I don't even think it would be that hard for a divorced man to date after 40, especially one who is fit and has a good job. I've seen much worse-looking men Jake's age and older on the apps. If he wants kids his wife gives birth to, he might have to marry someone younger, but lots of men do that. And I agree - basically anything would be better than being married to someone who clearly does not like you. What's the point? Just so you can say you're married? Not worth it, IMO.

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Not falling for the editing tricks. Ryan didn't talk about Decision Day negatively, unless it was cut or modified, so it was weird to see Clara to take it that way. I don't believe she left in a huff, she was prolly taking a restroom break or something. WHY are these people so sensitive?? So exhausting!! 😣

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Erik's in lust & saying he's in love. Completely illogical. It's so strange. Virginia seemed almost as uncomfortable as we are. 😅 I'd ask him why. I wonder if logic could help him reign it in.

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Watching the struggle surface talk is tiring! If these people would just EXPLAIN what they mean, they'd be in a better place. Vincent needs to explain what he experienced with his exes that he disliked. Briana needs to check her "bossiness." He said he was concerned, but HAS she been super bossy? Doesn't look like it. & FTLOG can Vincent PLEASE quit being so damn sensitive?!! He's the bigger problem.

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19 hours ago, ReadMeLattice said:

One of the guys on there is considered unmatchable because he’s shallow and too focused on looks. 

Um... have they met Chris?

Dr. Pepper should explain why she disagreed with Pastor Cal when he said that Chris was too superficial to be matched. Did she want him to list all the reasons why he shouldn't have been matched?

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14 hours ago, endure said:

It seems like Virginia really took the no drinking break to heart, she has appeared to be drinking water when I've noticed.  I don't know if she has a drinking problem contrary to popular opinion here.  I drank a lot in my 20's too I think it was a big part of my social being but now I seldom ever drink and never excessively.

Same here. Other than being on her honeymoon, she doesn't seem drunk all the time to me.  If she's single and hanging out with friends, maybe it's better she's crashing on the couch instead of driving home buzzed.  It could actually be a responsible thing she's doing with that.

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It'd be a bombshell for sure if J&H had (goodbye) sex. It was just Haley playing it up to the camera as she's been doing for weeks & I doubt she stayed there that evening either. Jake has been dragged along in the act but obviously not happy about it. She also doesn't want to be dumped, so, I suspect she was being extra nice to Jakey to lead him on a bit so he'll think there's hope. I have a bad feeling he may fall for it & say "yes" on decision day, allowing Haley to sink her last dagger in for the final kill when she says "no way". She's not come off well or as relationship material at all. But I hope Jake realizes he can do fine post-show with someone much better.

How many think Haley will arrive to the reunion with news of some new guy, because I could see that happening. (She'll dump him too, though, right after 😂).

Erik came off as unstable at their pre-decision day dinner. He's another one who comes off desperate. I'm a little worried for VA giving up her apt to live with him. I think they should 'date' for a while instead, so she's sure she's not getting in deep with someone with a dark side.

Edited by gonecrackers
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I don't think we see Ginny drunk very often, but we do see her drinking. She has said that her friends can't keep up with her, so although I believe she does drink A LOT, she does not appear drunk. But, in her own words, the fact that her getting so drunk that she passes out on a friend's couch on a regular basis, and the fact that she has said many times that she will not give up her drinking and partying, tells me that there is a problem with alcohol. Erik, on the other hand, has appeared sloppy drunk several times. I believe that is because he doesn't drink that often or much, so it hits him harder pretty quickly. I think he tries to give her what she wants, but he knows the drinking makes them both say things they regret. Plus, with his job, he can't be getting drunk all the time and if she is ever to get pregnant, she has to stop completely and I just don't see that happening the near future.

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1 hour ago, Retired at last said:

I don't think we see Ginny drunk very often, but we do see her drinking. She has said that her friends can't keep up with her, so although I believe she does drink A LOT, she does not appear drunk. But, in her own words, the fact that her getting so drunk that she passes out on a friend's couch on a regular basis, and the fact that she has said many times that she will not give up her drinking and partying, tells me that there is a problem with alcohol. Erik, on the other hand, has appeared sloppy drunk several times. I believe that is because he doesn't drink that often or much, so it hits him harder pretty quickly. I think he tries to give her what she wants, but he knows the drinking makes them both say things they regret. Plus, with his job, he can't be getting drunk all the time and if she is ever to get pregnant, she has to stop completely and I just don't see that happening the near future.

Right - it's not the passing out on couches vs. not driving home, it's the fact that she gets so drunk that she passes out often enough that she has a contingency plan for it (sounds like an every-weekend thing, likely both days of the weekend), that her socializing always involves alcohol and she has expressly said it always will, that she refused Erik's offer that they table the drinking, and that she seeks out alcohol in every situation - the first thing she did on the honeymoon was raid the minibar.

Edited by Empress1
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VA's pajama bottoms suited her well, doesn't everyone agree?  (they had adult drinks on them)

I could not live a life, or a weekend, with EriC, Mr. Lecture.

Vinny is easily slighted and sulks. 

Jake was all in, but Haley isn't.

Clara is all in, but Ryan isn't. 

I think Ryan is gay.  (not that there's anything wrong with it)

Did he or did he not say a few episodes ago that he has had relationships that lasted  months and years WITHOUT sex?    I don't know if it is editing or what, but I just don't see any displays of affection.  Yes, I know, he might not feel comfortable with the cameras around, but not even holding hands? 

 

 

Edited by Shauna
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I do think that this is just the formula that each participant must repeat -- they take a couple of elements of a personality and then make it seem like it's they have no other personality traits.

Virginia:  Big drinker!  Passes out on couches. Has friends that are...gasp...the other sex!  Loves cats so much they sleep with her!

Erik:  Well-to-do rigid traditionalist who drinks but doesn't want his wife drinking with other men friends!  Doesn't even really think men should be friends with wives.  And he has an ex and therefore knows all about marriage!  Allergic to cats so he doesn't want to sleep with them!  So allergic there are pics of him and his ex with cats sitting on his face pretty much!

Jacob:  Loves the 80s!  All he wants to talk about!  Last chance at love at the ripe old age of 38!

Haley:  Finds 80s weird!  Doesn't want to talk  about the 80s!  Finds fault in everyone she dates before giving them a chance!  But demands to be communicated with by the person she finds fault with and is surprised when that doesn't happen. 

Brianna:  Bossy, bossy, bossy.  So bossy her friends conveniently use the words "bossy" during the wedding ceremony. Loves to spend money, even on extensions that people want to cut off.  Gets up way early.

Vinny:  Hates bossy so much he specifically asked not to have bossy as a mate.  Doesn't like bossy but acts bossy to the point of cutting someone's extensions he doesn't like.  Hates spending money, even other people's money but makes other people spend money on replacement extensions.  Doesn't get up early at all!     

Clare:  Doesn't need an emotional connection about sex but she needs an emotional connection with Ryan and sex from him!  Loves to eat and has no goals!

Ryan:  Never said I love you!  Not even while being blown every night.  Also, works out excessively and doesn't eat donuts for a meal.  Has goals.  Lots of them even though we don't really know what they are.      

 

Edited by Boo Boo
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3 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I don't even think it would be that hard for a divorced man to date after 40, especially one who is fit and has a good job. I've seen much worse-looking men Jake's age and older on the apps. If he wants kids his wife gives birth to, he might have to marry someone younger, but lots of men do that. And I agree - basically anything would be better than being married to someone who clearly does not like you. What's the point? Just so you can say you're married? Not worth it, IMO.

I think it will make him look better - people are suspicious of the never-married!  It will give him an "in" with the divorced-lady crowd 😄

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Please keep the conversation to matters that happened on this show. Debates on the meaning of t-shirts, and what happened on other TV shows is off limits. Thank you.

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