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S12.E16: Speak Now or Forever Hold Your Peace


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Please keep the conversation to matters that happened on this show. Debates on the meaning of t-shirts, and what happened on other TV shows is off limits. Thank you.

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7 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

It looks like in my TV Guide that it is only a 1-hour episode, which is fine, but just wondering. Maybe they are really devoting time to the Unmatchables, and realize that this season is toast.

The lifetime schedule has MAFS 8-10pm Unmatchables 10-11pm for April 28th

It is only an hour on May 5th as it is some weird lookback on 3 previous couples experiences and their decision day predictions

So decision day is May 12th, they are really stretching out this season

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Oh man, I think I’m not watching tonight or next week and just watch D day on May 12th. This season has been a huge bust. 
 

Edited: They are saying D day is next week , not the 12th. I think Bri and Vinnie will stay together. Definitely not Hayley and Jake. If the other two stay together I think they will eventually get divorced. 

Edited by Straycat80
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So Vincent wanted a doormat and not a woman who voices her opinion.  Then he should have bought a cactus. Run Briana!

I think Ryan wants to see how their marriage progresses after decision day before he says "I love you". He seems very methodical. 

Virginia and Erik won't make it. He's controlling and she's a functional alcoholic. Plus they're on completely different ends of the political and social spectrum. 

Edited by spunky
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None of the couples should stay together. This season has been horrible, I just told my friend I hate all these couples, but here I am watching them.  Let’s get D Day over with already and put them out of their misery!

PS...I think Ryan will say no and Clara will be shocked. Girlfriend is not living in reality with her 10/10 bullshit!

Edited by CSunshine76
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This is the best of Virginia I’ve seen the whole show at the dinner with Erik.  Beautiful hairdo pulled back away from her face, clear skin , beautiful makeup, dress and earrings.  As usual Erik couldn’t stop telling her how much he admires her.  I think they will stay together until she slips and gets in trouble with her drinking.  Maybe when he’s away on the job.

Ryan has a big line of shit.  Let’s see what happens.  Will he finally have sex if they stay married?  That remains to be seen.

As much as Haley can’t tolerate Jake, she just might give it a whirl for a few more weeks as she has this problem with everyone. She might think this is her final chance.   I think he will want to try, if she tells him she will change her attitude.

 

Brianna doesn’t have much in common with Vinnie.  She might give it a little more time, then divorce.

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Do these girls know when they are going to be filming?  They always look sweaty and unkempt during these conversations.  Clara was wearing a Halloween pumpkin sweatshirt.  Haley looked like she hadn’t showered when they got the couple’s retreat.  They’ve only been with these guys for a month ( and they’re on National TV) and they always look a mess.  

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Vincent is such a dipshit. “It was nice knowing you” is what he’s leaving her with? WTF is wrong with him?

I feel like Erik and Clara are going to get blindsided.

Edited by Mean Jeanne
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2 minutes ago, Mean Jeanne said:

Vincent is such a dipshit. “It was nice knowing you” is what he’s leaving her with? WTF is wrong with him?
 

He is very insecure around her....she will always be walking on eggshells with him

STFU Haley

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1 hour ago, spunky said:

So Vincent wanted a doormat and not a woman who voices her opinion.  Then he should have bought a cactus. 

Nope. Even a cactus is too prickly for him and would hurt his feelings.

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I missed the last half hour but doubt it matters. 

Clara for the win tonight. She is who she is & don’t give no fucks about saying it. Good for her. I think they’re intercoursing on the regular & the jokes on us. 

I wanna know how she ever held back about Ryan wearing dress shoes to the bowling thing though./s  Maybe he & Jake can go putt putt in their less than athletic shoes together someday. 😂

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Ok, couple things. Brianna is so far out of Vinny’s league it’s ridiculous. She is a BOSS and he is a puffy over-sensitive questionably employed passive aggressive man baby. WHO CUT HER HAIR! What the hell was he thinking? She can do better, and I think he knows it. I wish she did.

I really, really, really hope Ryan gets his shit together and tells this woman he loves her! I think they are the most naturally comfortable and compatible but for this nonsense storyline. Oh! And watching that flashback to Clara with the girls: she says “ I’m getting him off every night”.....and then SOMEONE ELSE  says “and getting nothing”. We don’t hear what Clara says next! So who knows what Ryan is doing sex-wise? It might not be that she’s giving but he’s not - it could just be that she wants actual intercourse but he doesn’t......And on a completely superficial note, Ryan’s hair is terrible, but his ass is a thing of beauty....j/s....😜

Virginia finally looked nice at their dinner. I’m glad she relented on the post D-day living situation. He owns his place - it only makes sense for her to give up her lease and move in with him! Not forever, but at least short term. And if she doesn’t like how it looks, I’m sure Erik would let her redecorate however she wants!

So ready for Jake and Haley to divorce. But at least they were more civil this week.

I thought it was hilarious how they all said goodbye at the retreat, all to just say hello again when they get back to the place they all live? 😂

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Okay, NOW I must comment on Haley's habit of...

Sitting with one leg drawn up under her to her butt, while she is wearing short-shorts. Oh, and with her tennis shoes on the fabric. 

Even while driving! Who does this?!

Edited by LennieBriscoe
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Interesting things from tonight:

Apparently Haley spent the final night at the apartment - "Last night was fun" she coyly smirks, and Jake agrees. Are we seriously supposed to be wondering if they had sex?  Please, show.

Erik will be renting his condo, not selling it 😄.  Smart move.

What was that with Vinnie cutting Brianna's hair?  Are they trying to stage a fight?  Also him walking out saying "nice knowing you"?  Very odd.  He needs to grow up, but her vow that she's "not changing anything about herself" is immature as well, especially since she wants to change his entire sleep schedule!

I too wonder what's really going on with Ryan and Clara behind the camera's back.

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15 minutes ago, princelina said:

Interesting things from tonight:

Apparently Haley spent the final night at the apartment - "Last night was fun" she coyly smirks, and Jake agrees. Are we seriously supposed to be wondering if they had sex?  Please, show.

Erik will be renting his condo, not selling it 😄.  Smart move.

What was that with Vinnie cutting Brianna's hair?  Are they trying to stage a fight?  Also him walking out saying "nice knowing you"?  Very odd.  He needs to grow up, but her vow that she's "not changing anything about herself" is immature as well, especially since she wants to change his entire sleep schedule!

I too wonder what's really going on with Ryan and Clara behind the camera's back.

I think Ryan and Clara are the physically closest couple, they’re always all over each sitting around on the sofa, so I do wonder too.

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Hearing Vincent say that he specifically  asked not to be paired with a woman who is "assertive and direct" has torn it for me.

IOW, he DID want to be matched with a submissive woman who would consider his fragile ego by couching her words just so. 

All those eggs Jake ate? Briana is walking on the shells.

Pack up and GTHOOH, Vinny. 

Edited by LennieBriscoe
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1 hour ago, Ilovepie said:

Ok, couple things. Brianna is so far out of Vinny’s league it’s ridiculous. She is a BOSS and he is a puffy over-sensitive questionably employed passive aggressive man baby. WHO CUT HER HAIR! What the hell was he thinking? She can do better, and I think he knows it. I wish she did.

 

 

He cut her hair, and he wakes up pissy??  She's the one with the right to wake up cranky and she didn't.  I think he's intimidated by her and it may work for a while, but they'll divorce eventually.

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I can’t help but think that every friend and family member of Erik’s is shocked by Erik’s supposed “love” for Virginia and was secretly hoping he would want to walk away from this mismatch of a marriage on decision day. I’m imagining them all talking to each other behind his back, essentially saying “wtf???”.

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1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Hearing Vincent say that he specifically  asked not to be paired with a woman who is "assertive and direct" has torn it for me.

IOW, he DID want to be matched with a submissive woman who would consider his fragile ego by couching her words just so. 

All those eggs Jake ate? Briana is walking on the shells.

Pack up and GTHOOH, Vinny. 

I truly don't even understand these guys who continue to ask for "submissive women". Is this a thing??? Are there truly women willing to just be meek, unassertive doormats to their spouses? Isn't marriage a partnership? There is something SO grossly sexist about wanting a submissive wife to me. That just stinks of a need to have full control over your marriage and spouse. It's weird.

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Just some random thoughts on this episode:

Ryan thinks there's a science to compatibility.  Yeah, right sure.  Too bad the Enneagram is not science, although it can be uncannily accurate.  I wish they would have told us what their results were.

Ryan needs to get out of his head.  He's too rational.  She's too emotional.  I can't see that as a good match.  Once the newness wears off that can turn into a death spiral.

Brianna doesn't want to change herself for anyone but she has no problem asking Vincent to change for her.  Vincent is a pouty man baby that wants to be top dog in the relationship but Brianna is the polar opposite of that.  It's Brianna's world and Vincent would have to live in it.  Neither one has what it takes for a genuine give and take relationship.

What was that device Erik was using for his phone call?  It said "Pivot".  Was it a laptop desk or some kind of special pilot equipment?  I couldn't find anything on it online

Football bowling?  They don't have that up here where I live.

Clara to Ryan:  You really blew my expectations somewhat.

Me:  Too bad the only thing getting blown is Ryan...

Vincent:  You look really nice.

Brianna:  I know.

Ughh, I'm really starting to not like Brianna.  I already don't like Vincent.

Brianna:  I don't want to ever be a turn off to you.

Thought bubble over Vincent's head:  Well then stop being so fucking bossy. 

Poor Erik, he's going to get his heart broken....Virginia is not half as invested in him as he is in her.  And she's has this look on her face like she knows she's just leading him on because she's not really ready for marriage.

Clara is being mighty mature for being so patient with Ryan.

Brianna has to be married to wear those boots, otherwise she'd never get them off.  They look like boots made for walking.  She should start singing, "One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you" to Vinny because that's just what she intends to do.  She also wants to "wear the pants in the family", LOL.

WTF is wrong with Vincent cutting her hair?  And she didn't even react?

Note to Jake:  No one in the 80s wore a tee shirt that ripped.

Who are they kidding with Jake and Haley?  Now they want us to believe they have a chance of lasting past decision day?  

Haley to Jake:  Last night was good, nudge nudge, wink wink. 

Me:  WTF does that mean? Are they just screwing with us?  I got the feeling she was hinting around that they had sex.  I thought Jake was supposed to be this honest and sincere guy and here he is playing the "I'm just going through the motions and acting like I might be interested in pursuing this past decision day because that's what the producers expect from me" game just like many others before him.   Haha, I knew he wasn't above that!!

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3 hours ago, princelina said:

Interesting things from tonight:

Apparently Haley spent the final night at the apartment - "Last night was fun" she coyly smirks, and Jake agrees. Are we seriously supposed to be wondering if they had sex?  Please, show.

Erik will be renting his condo, not selling it 😄.  Smart move.

What was that with Vinnie cutting Brianna's hair?  Are they trying to stage a fight?  Also him walking out saying "nice knowing you"?  Very odd.  He needs to grow up, but her vow that she's "not changing anything about herself" is immature as well, especially since she wants to change his entire sleep schedule!

I too wonder what's really going on with Ryan and Clara behind the camera's back.

I didn't get Vinnie cutting Brianna's hair. Vinnie set it up by telling Bri to close her eyes, that he had a surprise for her. Bri asked if it was a good surprise, on the level of cheesecake. Vinnie says yes and cuts one of her braids off. I presume Bri had said that she was planning to have her hair cut - but why would it be a good surprise for Vinnie to cut a random strand off. 

And Brianna - "bossy" is not a positive adjective. If your friends and family felt the need to mention your bossiness to strangers 5 or 6 times at your wedding, it would appear to be a problem and maybe you should work on it.  

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1 hour ago, Kip1 said:

I didn't get Vinnie cutting Brianna's hair. Vinnie set it up by telling Bri to close her eyes, that he had a surprise for her. Bri asked if it was a good surprise, on the level of cheesecake. Vinnie says yes and cuts one of her braids off. I presume Bri had said that she was planning to have her hair cut - but why would it be a good surprise for Vinnie to cut a random strand off. 

And Brianna - "bossy" is not a positive adjective. If your friends and family felt the need to mention your bossiness to strangers 5 or 6 times at your wedding, it would appear to be a problem and maybe you should work on it.  

Vinnie would have had, as we used to say, a conniption fit had Brianna shaved off part of his beard!

With friends and family like that, Brianna didn't need the proverbial enemies. Let them work on their rudeness. 

 

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Please keep discussion to what happened on this episode of MAFS, not what happened on Unfiltered, and not the meaning of political/non-political t-shirts. Thanks, and happy posting!

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4 hours ago, Kip1 said:

I didn't get Vinnie cutting Brianna's hair. Vinnie set it up by telling Bri to close her eyes, that he had a surprise for her. Bri asked if it was a good surprise, on the level of cheesecake. Vinnie says yes and cuts one of her braids off. I presume Bri had said that she was planning to have her hair cut - but why would it be a good surprise for Vinnie to cut a random strand off. 

And Brianna - "bossy" is not a positive adjective. If your friends and family felt the need to mention your bossiness to strangers 5 or 6 times at your wedding, it would appear to be a problem and maybe you should work on it.  

I didn't get it either. Why did he think this would be something to do? What kind of response did he expect?

And he only cut off a few inches of it, not most of it, so big deal.  And that wasn't really her hair anyway, but some fake extensions, right? So?

Yeah, bossy means domineering and who wants that? I think Vinny just used the wrong words in telling he didn't want someone direct and assertive.  I think he really meant domineering, which is what Brianna is, firm and unbending. 

 

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So, after this last episode, my one word to describe Vinny is: Jerk!  Brianna talks about organization and he immediately gets hurt and lashes back to hurt her with "bossy" and "turn-off."  He also tells her that she is the exact opposite of what he asked for in a wife.  Yep.  Of Course, he had no problem starting a sexual relationship with her in spite of her being a turn-off and opposite of what he wanted.  He can go join Chris in the Jerk Club.  Oh, and to top it all off he tells her "it was nice knowing you..."  I think he may ask for a divorce in order to show everyone that he is in control of the relationship (no spoilers, just a feeling from this episode).

My best advice for Ryan: stop lecturing/teaching everyone.  He consistently does this with Clara-trying to convince her that she should be thinking deeply about EVERYTHING.  He also kind of did this with his friend.  He seems to want us to think he knows best about everything.  I really saw this in this episode as there was absolutely nothing interesting to detract from anyone's words/personality/actions.  He also had to absolutely dominate at football bowling-he very purposefully showed off his skills (yet kept missing the pins).  Like Clara, I would not have cared for that activity.

Haley is so over Eric.  His desperation (which he thinks will convince her to stay with him) is really driving her away.  Not surprisingly, she did not mention that Erik is uncomfortable with her passing out at various people's homes when talking with her friends.  I actually laughed when I saw that every her sleeping attire is focused on alcohol (her wine pants).  She may have thought that getting married on t.v. would be a lark.  Her twitchiness would really bother me.  

Surprisingly, I think Jake would be the most appealing to me.  Maybe it's his calmness or just the fact that once one understands his humor, one would really know his intent and how to interact with him.  

I am continually befuddled when the participants state that marriage is hard.  Well, duh.  Somehow they thought being married would be easier than dating and solve all of their problems.  I think they ALL thought that once married their spouses would automatically become part of their lives without any consideration that maybe their spouses had lives of their own and that compromises would have to be made.  It's like they all wanted a plus 1 without being a plus 1 themselves.

I am so over "D-Day is the really important day."  They should have given just as much thought to getting married in the first place as it appears they are giving to "D-Day."

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6 hours ago, Airy2021 said:

I truly don't even understand these guys who continue to ask for "submissive women". Is this a thing??? Are there truly women willing to just be meek, unassertive doormats to their spouses? Isn't marriage a partnership? There is something SO grossly sexist about wanting a submissive wife to me. That just stinks of a need to have full control over your marriage and spouse. It's weird.

Vincent asked for someone that wasn't direct, but in this case I think he was using that as a euphemism for submissive.  Unfortunately in his case I think it may be due to cultural conditioning.  I said going into this season that I knew a lot of Vincents in the Bronx back in the day and I pegged him immediately.  I said that Brianna was too much her own woman and assertive for him and that this might be an issue in their marriage.  And that was before we knew that much about him.

And yes, there are women out there who want to be the "one down" in the relationship.  That's one of the reasons certain men like immigrant women from cultures that traditionally oppress women and bring them up to be submissive to men.  I dated a guy like that once.  He ended up with an immigrant for that reason.  But in this case I don't know if Vinny is all THAT bad or if Brianna is so far to the bossy/controlling extreme that it might be making him look worse than he is.  They are like polar extremes and neither one of them has the right balance for a successful relationship. 

In fact my theory is that the show's secret goal this season was to match polar extremes with each other just to see how that would work out.  It's pretty obvious that Erik and Virginia are polar extremes as are Clara and Ryan and it's so glaring that I don't even have to explain why because we all know why why from watching this awful season!

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9 hours ago, endure said:

I think Ryan and Clara are the physically closest couple, they’re always all over each sitting around on the sofa, so I do wonder too.

Maybe that is why it looked like Ryan was wearing Clara's jeans during the "footbowl" outing.  My wife and I were wondering why was he wearing thigh hugging, skin tight, skinny jeans.

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8 hours ago, Airy2021 said:

I truly don't even understand these guys who continue to ask for "submissive women". Is this a thing??? Are there truly women willing to just be meek, unassertive doormats to their spouses? Isn't marriage a partnership? There is something SO grossly sexist about wanting a submissive wife to me. That just stinks of a need to have full control over your marriage and spouse. It's weird.

Vincent like Chris is using the word "submissive" in the Bible to suit his agenda.  Karen from last season is how I interpret (and how my now deceased Pastor) interpreted it to me. She wanted Miles to have a conversation with her about what's best for their household, and then make the final decision based on their conversation. 

Vincent wants a woman who would "yes dear" him to death, while being pregnant and barefoot in the kitchen.  

Spoiler

MAFSFAN  posted a comment from his ex. Even his ex thinks that Briana can do better. 

 

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2 hours ago, seacliffsal said:

So, after this last episode, my one word to describe Vinny is: Jerk!  Brianna talks about organization and he immediately gets hurt and lashes back to hurt her with "bossy" and "turn-off."  He also tells her that she is the exact opposite of what he asked for in a wife.  Yep.  Of Course, he had no problem starting a sexual relationship with her in spite of her being a turn-off and opposite of what he wanted.  He can go join Chris in the Jerk Club.  Oh, and to top it all off he tells her "it was nice knowing you..."  I think he may ask for a divorce in order to show everyone that he is in control of the relationship (no spoilers, just a feeling from this episode).

My best advice for Ryan: stop lecturing/teaching everyone.  He consistently does this with Clara-trying to convince her that she should be thinking deeply about EVERYTHING.  He also kind of did this with his friend.  He seems to want us to think he knows best about everything.  I really saw this in this episode as there was absolutely nothing interesting to detract from anyone's words/personality/actions.  He also had to absolutely dominate at football bowling-he very purposefully showed off his skills (yet kept missing the pins).  Like Clara, I would not have cared for that activity.

Haley is so over Eric.  His desperation (which he thinks will convince her to stay with him) is really driving her away.  Not surprisingly, she did not mention that Erik is uncomfortable with her passing out at various people's homes when talking with her friends.  I actually laughed when I saw that every her sleeping attire is focused on alcohol (her wine pants).  She may have thought that getting married on t.v. would be a lark.  Her twitchiness would really bother me.  

Surprisingly, I think Jake would be the most appealing to me.  Maybe it's his calmness or just the fact that once one understands his humor, one would really know his intent and how to interact with him.  

I am continually befuddled when the participants state that marriage is hard.  Well, duh.  Somehow they thought being married would be easier than dating and solve all of their problems.  I think they ALL thought that once married their spouses would automatically become part of their lives without any consideration that maybe their spouses had lives of their own and that compromises would have to be made.  It's like they all wanted a plus 1 without being a plus 1 themselves.

I am so over "D-Day is the really important day."  They should have given just as much thought to getting married in the first place as it appears they are giving to "D-Day."

Great post and I agree the guys are jerks and the girls are twitchy 😅. Hands down the best guy is Jake.

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Why is Brianna and her mom saying she can’t and shouldn’t change her bossy ways ? Being “assertive” and being “ strong” are not the same as being bossy . No one wants to be bossed around and no one should be . You can say how you feel and be a strong willed person without being that . I think they’re mis-using the word and it annoyed me the entire episode lol . 
 

I think if Ryan and Clara stay together , they’ll both be settling for mediocre . Neither one seems over the moon about the other . 

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These episodes are by far the most pointless. You could have done all this in hour and then in the second hour, give their decisions. I just skipped the whole ordeal. I'll check in again next week.

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2 minutes ago, Racj82 said:

These episodes are by far the most pointless. You could have done all this in hour and then in the second hour, give their decisions. I just skipped the whole ordeal. I'll check in again next week.

Totally pointless filler.  Why the hell does the show think they have 2 hours of content? They are trying to build suspense that is just not there.

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There's just so much desperation in Erik that he's uneasy to watch.  If they do decide to stay together on DD,  I don't see them being together long term, with his desperation and her drunk-flopping on other guys' couches.  I just hope there's no Dateline episode in the future.  😱

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3 hours ago, Yeah No said:

In fact my theory is that the show's secret goal this season was to match polar extremes with each other just to see how that would work out. 

They have used this many times over the seasons as an attempt to each pull the other one out to balance them. This is one of their main reasons to match people, besides the one that they both have cats.

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Seriously I don't think any of this seasons couples should stay together based on what we've been shown. I think there are possibly two couples who will continue to try based on how they are already talking about their future. I'm looking forward to the end of this season.

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14 minutes ago, Retired at last said:

They have used this many times over the seasons as an attempt to each pull the other one out to balance them. This is one of their main reasons to match people, besides the one that they both have cats.

Yes ! Now that we see the balancing factor is not working , and hasn’t for how many seasons now ... maybe it’s time to match people based on being , dare I say it .. similar ? 

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8 hours ago, Kip1 said:

I didn't get Vinnie cutting Brianna's hair. Vinnie set it up by telling Bri to close her eyes, that he had a surprise for her. Bri asked if it was a good surprise, on the level of cheesecake. Vinnie says yes and cuts one of her braids off. I presume Bri had said that she was planning to have her hair cut - but why would it be a good surprise for Vinnie to cut a random strand off. 

 

If we didn't know what show we were watching, that scene started like something out of a slasher movie.  He tells her he has a good surprise for  her and to close her eyes.  Here they are in bed, Bri with her eyes closed and Vincent pulls out a pair of scissors!  Luckily he only cuts off a piece of her hair, but how weird.  Vincent seems to have a mean streak that emerges when he feels slighted.  And all it takes is being told he is unorganized?  Run Brianna!

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1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

There's just so much desperation in Erik that he's uneasy to watch.  If they do decide to stay together on DD,  I don't see them being together long term, with his desperation and her drunk-flopping on other guys' couches.  I just hope there's no Dateline episode in the future.  😱

Erik reeks of a mixture of white privilege and wealth but also incredible insecurity. I’m guessing, based on the photos before his facial surgeries, that he has low self esteem and feels the need to be uber in control of his partner at all times. It’s odd because his ex wife was legitimately beautiful. Way prettier and seemingly more “together” compared to Virginia. I think Erik should have been matched to someone more conservative like he is though. He seems pretty staunch about that and Virginia obviously isn’t. Erik must have told the experts he wanted someone fun and independent when in actuality he truly wants a stay at home wife who will pop out a couple kids and always be available to cater to his needs. I think he was disingenuous about what he seriously wanted or maybe he just doesn’t realize it. But, Ginny is too much of a wild child for him. Such a weird match. I would be totally shocked if they last long term. 

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1 hour ago, Racj82 said:

These episodes are by far the most pointless. You could have done all this in hour and then in the second hour, give their decisions. I just skipped the whole ordeal. I'll check in again next week.

I watched like 20 minutes and thought "oh, this is just gonna be two hours of them asking their friends and family if they should stay together? No thanks."

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