S12.E09: Three Little Words

[gonecrackers]

13 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Yeah, I'm not seeing her as having a "mean, ugly sourpuss face" or that she is stuck up and acting superior or condescending of him either.  Nor did I think her friends were snobs either.  She is acting a little puzzled by Jake in that way of "what did I get stuck with?", but look at the guy, he is not looking to me like the perfect match for most women, least of all her, so I can't fault her for that.  She also isn't my favorite person and may not have the best communication skills, but she isn't ugly or reminding me of anyone negative from my past, either.....**

** And I've had my share of stuck up snobby women in my past, too.

I’m speaking of the hateful looks she’s given Jake whenever he’s either calling her out on her own BS behavior or trying to find a way to please her & the smug nasty face when he apologized- something she’s never done as she doesn’t care if she hurts him. He’s definitely wondering why he was stuck with her  too because she’s the opposite of a few things he’s mentioned he asked for - they both realize they are the joke couple this season. Neither is handling it well but IMO she’s not a nice person.

[Kimboweena]

9 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Last season? Who are you talking about? 

Pretty sure they mean Bennet and Amelia. He didn't want to have children of his own, but he would be willing to with Amelia.

 

Edited March 12, 2021 by Kimboweena
Clarifying

[Starlight925]

6 minutes ago, JustDuckie said:

Well I could be wrong (I often am, lol) but don't airlines have weight restrictions? Maybe that's a thing of the past and I'm just showing my age, but I know they used to. I wouldn't think cookie dough and donuts would be good choices for that line of work. YMMV.

I believe there are height & weight restrictions so they can move through aisles in emergencies, etc.

But if girlfriend can keep a cute figure on cookie dough & donuts while I gain weight on kale, I'm green with envy.

Edited March 12, 2021 by Starlight925

[bichonblitz]

12 minutes ago, JustDuckie said:

Well I could be wrong (I often am, lol) but don't airlines have weight restrictions? Maybe that's a thing of the past and I'm just showing my age, but I know they used to. I wouldn't think cookie dough and donuts would be good choices for that line of work. YMMV.

I also thought airlines had strict restrictions regarding nails. I'm aging myself here, too.  I remember back in the day when I was interested in becoming a "stewardess" that they weighed you regularly and manicures were an important part of grooming. You nails had to be perfect, nicely polished and a decent length. I wouldn't think her fake, long, pointed claws would be something that would not be acceptable. I haven't been on a plane in over a year obviously but I haven't seen that trendy look on any flight attendants when I was.  

Edited March 12, 2021 by bichonblitz

[StatisticalOutlier]

16 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Its infuriating. Its called a straw-man argument where an opponent injects a premise he (or she) claims is his opponents position. Then with righteous indignation attempts to make her (or him) defend a position they didn't make. All you can do is call it out. Don't attempt to defend it, label it as a bogus claim. Then state your actual opinions.

Thank you!  I've never really understood what straw-man arguments are, and now I do.  Any chance you can work your same magic with explaining ad hominem attacks? 

And speaking of straw...

On 3/10/2021 at 7:12 PM, Baltimore Betty said:

[Erik's] shoulders and neck are sort of scarecrow like.

Yes.  So can we all agree that it's a good thing he's not the one who reveres the 80s, because shoulder pads on him would be a disaster?  His head would be completely swallowed.

And speaking of Erik and Jake, I compare the two, and Erik looks squeaky clean (kind of the opposite of how Virginia always looks kind of dirty).  There's something not clean about how Jake looks.  You know how you can just tell by looking that some people smoke, and I'm not talking about obvious things like wrinkles around their mouth or yellow teeth or nicotine colored hair.  Just something about their pallor, maybe?  Or loose skin?  Or general lack of freshness?

I see something like that on Jake, and I'd be shocked if he smoked. 

What a bunch of interesting physical specimens this season.  Scarecrow Erik.  Gray greasy Jake.  Dirty Virginia.  Elf-ears Ryan.  Leno-chin Clara.  Bushy beard Vinny.  Everything about Chris.

[Stinamaia]

7 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

I also thought airlines had strict restrictions regarding nails. I'm aging myself here, too.  I remember back in the day when I was interested in becoming a "stewardess" that they weighed you regularly and manicures were an important part of grooming. You nails had to be perfect, nicely polished and a decent length. I wouldn't think her fake, long, pointed claws would be something that would not be acceptable. I haven't been on a plane in over a year obviously but I haven't seen that trendy look on any flight attendants when I was.  

Airlines don’t do that anymore. Overweight flight attendants are not uncommon.  

[Adeejay]

11 hours ago, antfitz said:

 I don't think Haley is a sexual, I think she just doesn't like him. And I don't like him. Since I called our liar on their honeymoon, that would do it for me. He wouldn't even listen to her explanation.

I find Jake pushy and condescending; “well if there is no attraction, there is no sense in going on.” “That relationship must have hurt you deeply, because here we are.”  Haley isn’t perfect, but she seems to be in a no-win situation.  When she tries, she is called “fake” and when she doesn’t, she is “just running out the clock.” I just wish Jake would stop with all the assumptions, condescension, projections and making shit up in his head.

[Hangin Out]

On 3/10/2021 at 8:58 PM, Mindthinkr said:

Is it me or does tonight’s episode seem slow? There’s nothing really new to discover. Just the same old rehash. 

It’s not you.  All I saw was Salsa dancing, cupcakes and ceramics.  Nothing new.  Oh, and a new bike.  Australia was much more interesting.

[StatisticalOutlier]

15 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

I believe there are height & weight restrictions so they can move through aisles in emergencies, etc.

According to some flight attendants on reddit, for U.S. airlines, you have to be able to fit in the jump seat without using a seat belt extender, and you have to be tall enough to reach into the overhead compartments.  Much more lenient than olden days; as recently as 1991, a lawsuit was settled when the airline agreed to allow a flight attendant's age to be considered in the weight tables:

Quote

A woman 5 feet 5 inches tall who, for example, is 20 to 24 years old can weigh up to 133 pounds, and from 25 to 29 years old, 136 pounds. A 40-year-old attendant may weigh up to 145 pounds, and an attendant over 65 may weigh up to 158 pounds.

American's standard was ''firm, trim silhouette, free of bulges, rolls or paunches . . . for an alert, efficient image.'' 

[DrewPaul2010]

18 hours ago, Devvie said:

Right?  Like a cat with a mouse. 

I read that in season 1 they were given $15K and now it's up to $25K.  These are relatively young people so that might be considered a sizable sum (especially to broke Chris [not to Erik or Brianna]) but as they get older it might not have been a good decision to do the show and air their dirty laundry for the world to see.  A few of these people might have difficultly finding jobs based on many things in the show. $25K isn't going to get anyone through to retirement.

$25K is still nothing to sneeze at...50K is a nice starter nest egg if they decide to stay married.  

[Baltimore Betty]

40 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Dirty Virginia. 

I read that too fast, had to do a double take, lol.

I guess if we were all on TV people would be picking us apart too, it is a good thing I am perfection!

 

[DrewPaul2010]

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

This, exactly!  Jake makes an awful lot of assumptions about Haley based on very little information, and most of them I feel are unfair and blown up out of proportion to the reality, and yes in some cases over the deep end.  The fact that he did this after only a few days of knowing her is a very huge red flag and I'm sure his baggage from past rejections is only making the next one a self-fulfilling prophecy, in this case with a woman he married - Just goes to show that marriage is not going to guarantee that you're not going to sabotage the relationship from ever getting off the ground, like he's done with Haley.

They labeled Jake 'Last chance for romance' which was cruel and false. If things don't work out he'll have plenty of offers. That will be a boost to his ego. Who knows might even make Haley jealous. I'm a guy but in my view Jake is a rugged handsome not cheesecake handsome that many women would find desirable. The self-fulfilling prophecy is very real. Its the oldest saying in the book....Beeeeeeee yourself! Be comfortable in yourself without depending on anyone else's opinion. People who like themselves in a healthy way are nearly always liked by others.

 

[Starlight925]

40 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

According to some flight attendants on reddit, for U.S. airlines, you have to be able to fit in the jump seat without using a seat belt extender, and you have to be tall enough to reach into the overhead compartments.  Much more lenient than olden days; as recently as 1991, a lawsuit was settled when the airline agreed to allow a flight attendant's age to be considered in the weight tables:

American's standard was ''firm, trim silhouette, free of bulges, rolls or paunches . . . for an alert, efficient image.'' 

Ahhh, that makes sense.  A flight attendant must be able to fit in the jump seat without an extender.

If Clara can fit, while shoving in donuts and cookie dough.....more power, girl.

Re:  the $25,000.  Is that a total?  Not per episode, but total?  Because after taxes, it's less than $20K, not to mention the "cost" of airing out your life like that.  

Chris has to be pressuring Paige to stick around so that he can grab his $25K.  Because I refuse to believe that a sane, normal woman would ever look him in the eyes again.  I hope for all sake that Paige is using religion as her "reason" to still air with him, and that she will move on after. 

This show did Paige dirty, and these "experts" are nowhere to be found.  Where's Dr. Happy Smiley Pepper now?  We've seen Pastor Cal put in his two cents, which was the best part of Chris & Paige's union.  But where are the rest?  Shouldn't they be at least FaceTiming with Paige, like, daily?

[DrewPaul2010]

15 minutes ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I read that too fast, had to do a double take, lol.

I guess if we were all on TV people would be picking us apart too, it is a good thing I am perfection!

 

Every season they're a few people who surmise if a relationship isn't going well it must be hygiene related. A woman was accused of not showering as to why her new husband wouldn't live with her. Everyone who agrees to do the show must be aware of potential ridicule from the peanut gallery. Supposedly Jake stinks...but I'm pretty sure Haley would fill us in.

[Hangin Out]

10 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

Ahhh, that makes sense.  A flight attendant must be able to fit in the jump seat without an extender.

If Clara can fit, while shoving in donuts and cookie dough.....more power, girl.

Re:  the $25,000.  Is that a total?  Not per episode, but total?  Because after taxes, it's less than $20K, not to mention the "cost" of airing out your life like that.  

Chris has to be pressuring Paige to stick around so that he can grab his $25K.  Because I refuse to believe that a sane, normal woman would ever look him in the eyes again.  I hope for all sake that Paige is using religion as her "reason" to still air with him, and that she will move on after. 

This show did Paige dirty, and these "experts" are nowhere to be found.  Where's Dr. Happy Smiley Pepper now?  We've seen Pastor Cal put in his two cents, which was the best part of Chris & Paige's union.  But where are the rest?  Shouldn't they be at least FaceTiming with Paige, like, daily?

They are hiding because they f..cked up.  Besides I heard they have nothing to do with anything but being props.  Production are the culprits.   They thought Chris was a good idea.  He was the WORST EVER.  Paige too.

Edited March 12, 2021 by Silver Bells

[DrewPaul2010]

1 hour ago, bichonblitz said:

Last season? Who are you talking about? 

 

Hottest? Not even close. I'm sure Erik has had his share of relationships with hot flight attendants that are just dying to bag a single, successful nice looking pilot. I know Erik is sort of nerdy but he's a good looking guy. Especially in a military pilot's uniform. I've only seen him like that in pictures but YUM!

I was referring to Bennett and Amelia. He initially said he was open to adoption but then he wanted to make her happy. She wasn't pushy about it just let him know she wanted children in the horizon. 

[StatisticalOutlier]

1 hour ago, Baltimore Betty said:

I guess if we were all on TV people would be picking us apart too, it is a good thing I am perfection!

It is a good thing I'm not on TV.

[qtpye]

43 minutes ago, Starlight925 said:

Ahhh, that makes sense.  A flight attendant must be able to fit in the jump seat without an extender.

If Clara can fit, while shoving in donuts and cookie dough.....more power, girl.

Re:  the $25,000.  Is that a total?  Not per episode, but total?  Because after taxes, it's less than $20K, not to mention the "cost" of airing out your life like that.  

Chris has to be pressuring Paige to stick around so that he can grab his $25K.  Because I refuse to believe that a sane, normal woman would ever look him in the eyes again.  I hope for all sake that Paige is using religion as her "reason" to still air with him, and that she will move on after. 

This show did Paige dirty, and these "experts" are nowhere to be found.  Where's Dr. Happy Smiley Pepper now?  We've seen Pastor Cal put in his two cents, which was the best part of Chris & Paige's union.  But where are the rest?  Shouldn't they be at least FaceTiming with Paige, like, daily?

Speaking of doing Paige dirty, there was a scene were Paige was waiting for Chris this episode where you could see up her dress.

I only bring this up because this is a pretty common thing to happen to women and girls who wear dresses and skirts. Heather Locklear talked about it happening all the time in Melrose place.

The common courtesy is that the production team or the camera man informs the lady and lets her readjusts herself. I noticed that no one informed Paige this was happening and just let her sit there like that for a good while. I know this is reality television but I thought this was  uncalled for and someone should have let her know or they could have edited the footage so you could only see the top half of her body.

[Crashcourse]

5 hours ago, Retired at last said:

The "song" Erik played was just some basic chord progression that everyone who takes Guitar 101 learns. Hardly a song.

Yup.  I took beginners' guitar lessons years ago and Erik's playing gave me flashbacks.  Virginia looked like she was stifling a laugh. 

[qtpye]

1 hour ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

They labeled Jake 'Last chance for romance' which was cruel and false. If things don't work out he'll have plenty of offers. That will be a boost to his ego. Who knows might even make Haley jealous. I'm a guy but in my view Jake is a rugged handsome not cheesecake handsome that many women would find desirable. The self-fulfilling prophecy is very real. Its the oldest saying in the book....Beeeeeeee yourself! Be comfortable in yourself without depending on anyone else's opinion. People who like themselves in a healthy way are nearly always liked by others.

 

In kind of a gender role reversal I wonder if Jake does attract a certain type of woman with his body and then they want nothing to do with him in regards to a deeper relationship. He alluded to something like this when he was accusing Haley of having a boyfriend.

[humbleopinion]

1 hour ago, Crashcourse said:

  Virginia looked like she was stifling a laugh. 

Ginny might be suppressing a belch from her series of shots getting ready to listen to Erik playing guitar...

[Ilovepie]

2 hours ago, qtpye said:

Speaking of doing Paige dirty, there was a scene were Paige was waiting for Chris this episode where you could see up her dress.

I only bring this up because this is a pretty common thing to happen to women and girls who wear dresses and skirts. Heather Locklear talked about it happening all the time in Melrose place.

The common courtesy is that the production team or the camera man informs the lady and lets her readjusts herself. I noticed that no one informed Paige this was happening and just let her sit there like that for a good while.

Well, considering Paige has been on Unfiltered nearly every single week with her t*ts hanging out, I'm not sure she would care if her skirt was so short that something like this could happen......

[LuvMyShows]

15 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Which leads me to my theory about Paige and Chris.  I don't for one minute believe that Paige would be on board with any of this at this point if she didn't have a virtual gun held to her head by production.  I am not buying the scene they showed trying to make it look like going back and talking to him again after walking out was HER choice and not production's.  They conveniently left out the first part of the conversation where they probably waved the contract in her face and basically told her that she would be in violation of it if she didn't go through with the scene in just the way they wanted her to film it.  She is basically being forced to beat the dead horse of that relationship and make herself look like she is completely out of her mind in the process. 

I think it was far simpler than that, and also devious, on the part of production.  I think they knew that if they could just convince Paige to go back and talk to Chris, that she would be convinced to stay, which would be great for ratings...so they relied on reasoning and whatever word tricks they had, and did not need to resort to implied force. 

On 3/11/2021 at 1:28 AM, Rae Spellman said:

Maybe Vincent and Brianna will be fine once the cameras are gone.

Many of us were concerned several seasons ago about Stephanie having to put up with AJ, given how he was in front of the cameras, but they seem to be doing great now that the cameras are not invading their lives.

On 3/11/2021 at 7:07 PM, Kiss my mutt said:

Clara stuffing her face with donuts was the least concerning thing on this episode. I would probably do the same thing if someone took me to do something I enjoyed and then tried to make me feel inferior for it. Clara will end up his project not equal. 

I don't think that Ryan was at all trying to make Clara feel inferior.  He was sharing his viewpoint, and it happened to be very different from Clara's...I think he was surprised to hear her viewpoint, but didn't try to make her feel bad for it. 

3 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Those two didn't learn that dance by standing side by side and learning the same step.  I don't know what that teacher was doing, but I felt bad for Vinny.  

That teacher was awful.  He started right out teaching an 8-count step, rather than starting with just the first 3 or 4.  I know for sure that my husband would have been frustrated AF with right away being unable to follow what was going on.

Edited March 13, 2021 by LuvMyShows

[LuvMyShows]

 

 

On 3/11/2021 at 10:27 AM, Crashcourse said:

I think she did him a big favor picking out those shirts.  In the future, maybe he'll have better luck finding a woman when he's dressed in normal casual wear, instead of those (unfunny and maybe even off-putting to some people) "message" t-shirts.   

The fact that the clothes she got were definitely different from what he had been wearing, says that really, truly, all he wears is the message t-shirts.  She even got him a v-neck solid color t-shirt, so she wasn't going for any extravagantly different clothing.  The clothes looked appropriate on him, not like they were changing his personality.  But the fact that he didn't already have clothes like that, is stunning...I guess he could only be dressed up or jeans-and-a-t casual, but nothing in-between. 

1 hour ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I'm a guy but in my view Jake is a rugged handsome not cheesecake handsome that many women would find desirable. 

On 3/11/2021 at 7:42 AM, LennieBriscoe said:

Jake is a Guys Guy, not a Ladies Man. 

I'm a female, and Jake to me is not rugged or handsome (although I have to say that he looked much better on Unfiltered with his beard).   And he is definitely not a Guys Guy -- that's a guy who hangs with the bros, confidently talks sports and women, and can make small talk with anyone...and Jake ain't it!

[Airy2021]

9 hours ago, Vanderboom said:

Exactly! If the biggest problem in your marriage--hell, even your day--is that you couldn't salsa right, then I truly envy you, Vincent. Ask Paige the Deluded Masochist how she would feel if Chris didn't come with a pregnant ex and a library of mind games. Ask her how she'd feel if the two biggest arguments they had were about spilled champagne and ballroom dancing.

 

He reminds me of someone I know who is a very nice person and a beloved friend but they get sooooooo mad when they have to do things they don’t succeed at or that make them appear less then talented. It’s almost an insecurity issue. He is 38 and single because all of his past girlfriends got fed up with his outbursts and childish reactions. It’s a very spoiled, baby-like temper tantrum type reaction. I saw the same with Vinny. He’s got a very fragile ego. He’s very passively proud and can’t handle looking less then perfect in front of his wife. 
 

 

Edited March 13, 2021 by Airy2021

[Airy2021]

3 hours ago, qtpye said:

In kind of a gender role reversal I wonder if Jake does attract a certain type of woman with his body and then they want nothing to do with him in regards to a deeper relationship. He alluded to something like this when he was accusing Haley of having a boyfriend.

There is someone for everyone. Jake is about as bland and void of personality as a human can get but I think he will find someone. Especially after exposure from the show. Also, WHY is everyone acting like finding love at 39 is the last chance at it happening? He’s acting like he’s 80! 39 is young and it’s not the end of the world to date into your 40’s unless you are wanting kids at a younger age. 

[bichonblitz]

6 hours ago, Stinamaia said:

Airlines don’t do that anymore. Overweight flight attendants are not uncommon.  

Yes, true. They also don't have any age limit anymore, either. In America anyway. I traveled to Mexico twice in one year (before Covid) on Mexican airlines and the flight attendants all looked like movie stars, including the male attendants. 

[LuvMyShows]

 

7 hours ago, qtpye said:

She wanted to move to Australia and for me that would probably be a long conversation in itself because I am fascinated by American expats. I love to learn about other cultures and have always wanted to live abroad for a short period of time.

On 3/11/2021 at 4:32 PM, bichonblitz said:

Haley and Jake. Every scene is so awkward. The one time she really opened up to him telling him all about her travels which I thought was interesting, he barely had anything to say. 

Truly, truly awful.  

Haley - I lived in Australia for awhile, but it didn't work out.

Me - What prompted you to move to Australia?  What kind of work were you doing?  Where did you live?  Did you make any Australian friends or did you hang with ex-pats?  What was the food like?  What kind of transportation did you have?  How would you characterize the people? What ended up going wrong?  How did you make the decision to leave and return to the US?  What was it like when you came back to the US? 

Jake - Did you see a dingo?

-------

Haley - I was in Pamplona for the running of the bulls.

Me - What on earth possessed you to want to do that?  Did you go with friends?  What was your strategy for the running?  Did you see anyone get hurt?  How close did you get to a bull?

Jake - Were you gored?

21 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Given her world travels, and her attempt at moving to Australia, I think there's a lot more to Haley than we're being shown.  

I agree, but I don't think it's just that we're not being shown it.  I think that because Jake is such a bad conversationalist, there's a lot that he, and we, haven't seen of her. 

[Yeah No]

6 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

They labeled Jake 'Last chance for romance' which was cruel and false. If things don't work out he'll have plenty of offers. That will be a boost to his ego. Who knows might even make Haley jealous. I'm a guy but in my view Jake is a rugged handsome not cheesecake handsome that many women would find desirable. The self-fulfilling prophecy is very real. Its the oldest saying in the book....Beeeeeeee yourself! Be comfortable in yourself without depending on anyone else's opinion. People who like themselves in a healthy way are nearly always liked by others.

Like another female here said, I don't find Jake either rugged or handsome and I can be pretty open minded about looks.  Just because he works out doesn't make him a Marlboro Man.  More like Revenge of the Nerds with muscles.  He is still in his 30s and IMO his "look" will not age well.  And that's the thing with Jake, if he was comfortable in himself he wouldn't have reacted in such a nasty way to Haley's lack of attraction to him.  He'd be confident that he could win her over or meet someone else that would appreciate him more.  If he has sent those subtle angry vibes out to other women it's no wonder he's still single at his age.

 

[Yeah No]

1 hour ago, Airy2021 said:

There is someone for everyone. Jake is about as bland and void of personality as a human can get but I think he will find someone. Especially after exposure from the show. Also, WHY is everyone acting like finding love at 39 is the last chance at it happening? He’s acting like he’s 80! 39 is young and it’s not the end of the world to date into your 40’s unless you are wanting kids at a younger age. 

Even though Millennials tie the knot less than older generations finding a long term partner after 40 becomes more difficult just by virtue of the fact that more people are not available and at least a percentage of those that are aren't good relationship material or are unattached by choice.  39 may be young for some things, but I think it's still true that most people that want a long term relationship have settled down with someone by that age, either in a live-in arrangement or traditional marriage.

[qtpye]

1 minute ago, Yeah No said:

Even though Millennials tie the knot less than older generations finding a long term partner after 40 becomes more difficult just by virtue of the fact that more people are not available and at least a percentage of those that are aren't good relationship material or are unattached by choice.  39 may be young for some things, but I think it's still true that most people that want a long term relationship have settled down with someone by that age, either in a live-in arrangement or traditional marriage.

I think one of the issues it that most people at 40 have lived as an independent adult for a long time at that point. It is harder to let people into your life if you are very set in your ways and Jacob seems to be very set in his world, which is fine but might make it more difficult to find a partner.

[LuvMyShows]

 

21 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Actually, I was bothered by something he did in last night's episode.  I think it had to do with Haley going to Paige's and staying there until late, when he had wanted to talk.  She said she's not a mindreader, and if he wanted to talk, he needed to tell her.  He countered that he didn't tell her because he knew how she would react, and launched into a recitation of what he knew she would be thinking and saying.  That sort of thing pisses me off no end, and it didn't seem to sit well with Haley, either.

RED FLAG ALERT!  RED FLAG ALERT!  My spidey sense tells me that this may be a big part of why his previous relationships fell apart.  I think that he internalizes once a partner does something to him, and that becomes his narrative as to what all future partners will do (we already saw him do this to Haley with the having-a-boyfriend accusation).

21 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Not much fuss is made about the age difference between Jake and Haley (which is bigger than the difference between Erik and Virginia), but I think we have a pushing-40-years-old man who's very settled, and a less-than-30-year-old woman who is adventurous.  

Funny about the age difference.  I think Jake is not very conscious of it, to the point that I think he genuinely forgot how old she was when they were having the conversation (last week?) and he asked her what she was doing when she was 28, which of course is the age she is now (and it didn't appear that he was asking her that as a goof).  I actually see that as one more example of Jake not really thinking about Haley as her own person, only as an extension of himself in terms of being in a relationship with that person.

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

You never know.  I've always had a diet low on vegetables and heavy on cookie dough and donuts, and it never affected my figure.  I have no idea why--probably genetics.  Or luck.  I'm not the type to win raffles or lotteries, but maybe I make up for it in being able to eat donuts.

Clara's young.  Maybe she'll pork out, and maybe she won't.  But it's not a guarantee, and it would be a shame if she gave up these foods she loves and the reality was that it wouldn't have affected her figure.  Of course, she'd never know, so there's that.

If I were her, I'd push those boundaries while I could, and back off if it seems to become necessary.  But I also thought Haley was cool for trying crabmeat again. 

I was lucky too until after menopause when it went in the exact opposite direction.  Now I eat vegetables and don't eat doughnuts and get fat anyway.  If we want to see what Clara's chances are in the future we'd have to look at her mother.  I don't remember if we've seen her mother - If we did I wasn't paying attention!  Speaking of mothers, mine used to tell me to "enjoy it while I can" when she saw me eating doughnuts or ice cream.  And I did.  But now I look at food and gain weight.  It sucks!

If for no other reason not eating too much junk food is good for one's health.  Clara may be able to stay healthy and eat that way now but even if she doesn't gain weight it may give her health issues like Type 2 diabetes and cholesterol issues when she gets older.

6 minutes ago, qtpye said:

I think one of the issues it that most people at 40 have lived as an independent adult for a long time at that point. It is harder to let people into your life if you are very set in your ways and Jacob seems to be very set in his world, which is fine but might make it more difficult to find a partner.

That is so very true....People think 39 is young now but some of the old sayings still apply like being more set in your ways.  I think that as people age doing new things that require adjustment get harder in general, but especially accommodating another person into your life on an intimate, daily basis.

[LuvMyShows]

 

1 hour ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Be comfortable in yourself without depending on anyone else's opinion. People who like themselves in a healthy way are nearly always liked by others.

22 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

The I'm not attracted to you is the hardest objection to over come. It means had they met somewhere and socialized she'd turn down an offer to go out with him. However clearly harping on the matter and becoming self conscience is the worst way to handle it. The best thing Jake can do is become comfortable in his own skin and be who he is without shame or regret. 

This is what is interesting/contradictory about Jake.  I think he is genuinely comfortable in his own skin in terms of accepting his own quirks, and sees no need to change.  However, his comfortableness goes out the window when he's around people he doesn't know well, and he doesn't seem to be able to operate in any other realm other than full-on Jake.  Most adults are able to modulate how they present when around new people, and thus can ease into their quirks.  But he doesn't seem to be able to do this, and it is very off-putting. 

Also, I think he has no tool kit for how to handle it when he gets in his own head, which is what he's doing with the attraction thing.  He is becoming self-conscious about it and just can't help mentioning it, to the point that when he and Haley are trying to just be light and casual, and were having that meal at the restaurant, he had to ruin it by saying something like, "And you might just end up feeling something for me" (or words to that effect).  

I think he has very little experience putting himself in someone else's shoes.  So regarding his quirks, he can't understand why someone else might find it less than desirable.  And with emotion stuff, he defaults to assuming what they are thinking.  Doesn't bode well for a LTR.

23 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Jake has done nothing to Haley except go off one time when she hurt his feelings. He apologized, yet I don't see her apologizing for ditching him or even for the misunderstanding because she feels entitled to need a break from him, which, on it's own, is really rude.

But why is it rude to visit a friend?  As I understood it, it was around 9 pm and they were in their apt not doing anything in particular, and she decided to visit Paige.  Not many couples want to spend every waking moment with their spouse, so if that is taking a break, seems like a normal activity.  (How she may have handled notifying him of her time frame once she was visiting Paige is a different story...she may not have handled that as well as she could.)

[Rae Spellman]

On 3/11/2021 at 1:27 PM, Vanderboom said:

I'm not the only one shipping Paige with one of The Pastors, right? Come on, show. Bring Paige back for another season.

Like MAFS: Second Chances where she gets to date a bunch of men who will at least pretend to like her so they have a chance of being the chosen one?  She might learn more from a show like the one Monet did after MAFS Season 1.

I trust The Pastors about as far as I can throw them and wonder if they were on this show to promote their brands. 

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

I don't find Jake either rugged or handsome and I can be pretty open minded about looks.  

Even though I generally agree with this, I thought he looked really good on his last episode of Unfiltered. 

[princelina]

On 3/11/2021 at 10:10 AM, Racj82 said:

Damn near every person you could ask why are you here with this show. At the end of the day, this is a shortcut to love and that's most of the people are here. They get a spouse without having to put the work in. 

But if she's this picky, why would you not try to control who you end up with?

If you are Ryan and you need this deep emotional connection, why not date the old fashion way and build that?

If you are Virginia, why not get a drinking partner instead of a spouse if that's all you really want.

They want to be on TV of course!

On 3/11/2021 at 11:19 AM, Empress1 said:

I think they could be OK too. I can't remember what Ryan's job is, but sometimes people just work because they have to, not because they are driven by a passion for whatever they're doing - and Clara may have a passion for things in her life that aren't work. I know a lot of people who like their jobs fine, but aren’t passionate about them, especially after the recession where some people just took jobs because they needed jobs and couldn’t afford to wait for The Perfect Job. I also know people who just aren’t career-oriented and never will be, but they throw themselves into hobbies or volunteering or parenting or taking care of other family members.

But she could have a passion for a hobby or other interest - I don't fault Ryan for what he said because it's something that's important to him and something he likes talking about.  I think he probably enjoys having more serious types of conversations and Clara enjoys more silly/frivolous conversations.  I like them both, but if you're a serious kind of person it's hard to always be/act interested in the frivolous, and if you're not a serious type you're just not interested in serious topics so you change the subject with jokes and things.  NOT the types of opposites who attract, IMO.  Also - if someone wants to raise a family in a Christian, church-going home and the other person is actually against that, it's not going to change.  On these two subjects especially -  isn't that the sort of thing their "extensive personality tests" should highlight?

On 3/11/2021 at 2:26 PM, Retired at last said:

In some of the scenes in the matchmaking shows, they always show Dr Viv asking these questions. Some of the answers are really bizarre, but I don't remember if we actually see the clips from the people who are selected. That would make an interesting show. I would love to see the clips of the interviews of the people they selected after we have gotten to know them.

 

Technically she just asks some rather embarrassingly invasive questions to give them something racy to show - I don't think it has anything to do with how they are matched.

 

20 hours ago, Yeah No said:

  If there was any chance at all Jake blew it on the honeymoon by acting pissy and accusatory of her.  If my husband acted like that with me when we were first dating I never would have warmed up to him. 

I would agree with you if it had come out of nowhere.  But if my husband left me alone for guys night and I found him hanging with the couples I'd be done.  The only explanation he got was that she didn't expect the guys to come but they did, so he rightly asked why she didn't call and let him know, and as far as I can see he hasn't gotten a real response from her or anyone.  

14 hours ago, qtpye said:

With Jacob, it is his awkward personality and as someone else pointed out, he does not seem to think about doing things to please Hailey beyond putting on those shirts (which were probably bought by production), though he wants her to be accepting of his quirks. She wanted to move to Australia and for me that would probably be a long conversation in itself because I am fascinated by American expats. I love to learn about other cultures and have always wanted to live abroad for a short period of time.

Then to add insult to injury, Grampa Eric and Dad Bod Vinnie (who I thought was adorable before his tantrums) were matched with women who are really pleased to be with him. He probably wonders why he can not attract women despite his Adonis like physique, though a better hair cut would have helped.

Haha he's thinking "Mine's better than Ryan's and his wife wants him!"  😄 

 

[Ms.C.]

On 3/10/2021 at 4:45 PM, Silver Bells said:

On Unfiltered.  Jamie asking good questions.  Haley still blaming the 80’s.  That’s bullshit.  It’s more than that.  If she wants to go that same ole route, he should say she drinks too much and rather be out with her girlfriends than a man.  I would have more respect for her if she just tells the truth.  She just doesn’t like him, period, and he knows it.

 

Possible no one is good enough?  She comes off judgmental to me.  Maybe why still single.  I haven’t seen much of a fun side to her at all.  Took Jamie a long time to fall for Doug.  But she stuck with it with good humor.  She laughed and was kind most of time.  Really sort of same with Miles and Karen.  What’s so special about Haley?   

On 3/10/2021 at 5:08 PM, Crashcourse said:

Well, one thing Jake is right about is if she's not physically attracted to him, they have no shot. 

Forgotten Jamie and Doug?  Miles and Karen?  Anymore?

[Ms.C.]

I really miss the old MAFS when the experts did get involved  and some couples made it despite no attraction at first.  Jamie and Doug, Miles and Karen who hadn’t had sex until after end of filming, Sam who did fall deeply in love with “unattracted to” Neil and others.  This is not Attracted at First Sight.  The producers have turned it into trash.  I’ll still watch. For a while. But no longer addicted.  

One more thing. Jamie was so kind and had such a great way of handling Doug from totally unattracted to love that I’ll always respect her. She has fun. I like all her questions and she sensitively asks them and having been there herself she relates.  My only criticism is on Couple’s Cam I think she ought not be so flashy about the two houses.  Breeds resentments.   

Haley good job with the shirts   Try holding his hand once in a while.  You might get comfortable    Vincent a sulker.  Not going to last.  Paige putting good face forward bc committed contractually IMO    Eric and VA will stay together but divorce later  Ryan horrified with the discussion over donuts and my guess is who knows?  LOL!   Haley god riddance unless she can soften up but I don’t think she can  Intolerant    

Bring experts back and remind them no one promised love at first sight.  What they were doing before wasn’t working.  Get real and put at least be gracious enough to try for partners sake.  Jake came into expecting a partner who would at least try.  FFS, I’m done.  Resign experts. Moneys not worth it.  

Well, this was fun.  Cleansed my soul.  😎

[humbleopinion]

5 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

 Haley good job with the shirts   Try holding his hand once in a while. 

 

Unfortunately Jake's zooming mind will take that innocent gesture of friendliness and in nano seconds mentally have them doing each other sweaty and naked in his sauna.....

Haley can feel his molecules changing gears if she even sits near him...

Jake hair trigger erections must be from still taking his "protein supplements and vitamins" so he can look cut for the cameras....

Jake, the checkered shirt does not look like a tablecloth, it actually makes you look younger and slimmer because it fits well.

The dark long sleeved button shirt needs to go back, it fits too baggy, but the celery green t shirt and baseball shirt are keepers.

Jake can fit off the rack clothes that are flattering...no, they are not funny and attention magnets but they may give him confidence to fit in and not have to hold court over a group of strangers...

Haley and Jake can come to a friendly truce and have each other's back if he can stop the voices in his psyche telling him that Haley rejects him physically.

She is trying to get to know the man inside the muscles.

Jake is too jealous and fatalistic (he automatically jumps to the end of the relationship with him being hurt...again) because that is the pattern he has experienced with women in his past.

Haley is not his dumpster for all the bad things women have done to him.

 

[humbleopinion]

Haley took a risk and had sex too early in her process of getting to know Jake.

She is still doing the back stroke for that leap.

Haley is looking for a nice guy who fits in but "the experts"(production ) matches her with a guy who prides himself in his uniqueness and quirkiness.

She wants a guy who wears bright colors who is more smiley with teeth and an happy audible laugh and not  a dude who can muster only a bemused smirk and stare and no laugh.

She would feel better if Jake had made a better impression with the brides and grooms, who are her teevee friend group.

Jake got off on the wrong foot and came off too odd at the grooms events and he was too angry in Las Vegas.

He does silly things but he just doesn't emit levity.

Haley want a no pressure zone but Jake is too intense.

Haley is wary of Jake since he hurled accusations at her in anger.

Haley is still around... whether it is faux and fame whoring, she hasn't left the Highland walk.

 

[Boo Boo]

21 hours ago, JustDuckie said:

Well I could be wrong (I often am, lol) but don't airlines have weight restrictions? Maybe that's a thing of the past and I'm just showing my age, but I know they used to. I wouldn't think cookie dough and donuts would be good choices for that line of work. YMMV.

Based on my last few flights, the weight limit restriction is not happening.  Or not as severe.  

I like Jake.  I think he's got a wry sense of humor and I love the looks he gives.  But he's not for Haley, she's not attracted in the slightest.  And that's okay too.  

I never think those who just aren't attracted are jerks -- it's how they handle not being attracted to the person they are matched with.

[humbleopinion]

2 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

I never think those who just aren't attracted are jerks -- it's how they handle not being attracted to the person they are matched with.

Agreed, but their story line paints them as

wishy washy (Danielle)

a shifty escape artist (Molly)

Manhattan real estate location snob (Davina)

cold, unemotional (Moustachely Ashley)

Producer Shenannies puts them in a story line and edits them as so.

[humbleopinion]

https://screenrant.com/married-first-sight-chris-williams-pastor-dwight-paige/

Po$ is mad Pastor Dwight comes off too well... so he severs ties with him...

When PO$ smiles broadly at Paige it is as if a cold sinister wind blows through the set.....creepy and a "Danger, Paige.... situation"

[gonecrackers]

11 hours ago, princelina said:

I would agree with you if it had come out of nowhere.  But if my husband left me alone for guys night and I found him hanging with the couples I'd be done.  The only explanation he got was that she didn't expect the guys to come but they did, so he rightly asked why she didn't call and let him know, and as far as I can see he hasn't gotten a real response from her or anyone.  

I'd be done too. And I wonder had he done this to her, with no explanation, no apology of even how it looked or made her feel, how that would go over with people.

Haley doesn't want him but jerks him around to play up to production, then shoots those mean dagger eyes at him with her mouth so tight I thought she'd crack, every time he either has any hope or tries to have a truthful conversation with her.

Jake's reactivity sucks - I totally agree. But I doubt I'd be behaving too well under those circumstances with a person like her either, unfortunately. And it looks worse on camera, especially since there's editing at play. In a smaller way it kind of reminds me of Nate & Sheila. She came off unhinged but was really hurt over his cheating. He just stood there like "Whuut?" most of the time. It was awful, & so is this J&H dynamic.

[StatisticalOutlier]

15 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

But why is it rude to visit a friend?  As I understood it, it was around 9 pm and they were in their apt not doing anything in particular, and she decided to visit Paige. 

When I saw that scene, my reaction was, "Ah, youth." 

 

13 hours ago, princelina said:

I would agree with you if it had come out of nowhere.  But if my husband left me alone for guys night and I found him hanging with the couples I'd be done.  The only explanation he got was that she didn't expect the guys to come but they did, so he rightly asked why she didn't call and let him know, and as far as I can see he hasn't gotten a real response from her or anyone. 

I really wish they'd fully explain what happened.  I can imagine that the girls were getting together.  One husband decided to accompany his wife to the lobby or wherever, and another husband decided to do the same thing, and suddenly it's all the girls and some of the husbands, and the husbands stick around a bit (where they might not have if they'd been the only guy in the group), and Haley was thinking (or even wishing) they were just there for a minute, and would be moving on.  And if the husbands moved on and wanted Jake to join them, they'd call him.

Or maybe she was glad the husbands came along and was embracing it and purposely not including Jake. 

There has to be an answer, and I think it's purposely not being shown.

 

8 hours ago, Ms.C. said:

Possible no one is good enough?  [Haley] comes off judgmental to me.  Maybe why still single.  I haven’t seen much of a fun side to her at all. 

What we've seen on the show doesn't correspond at all with someone who would run with the bulls in Pamplona.  So I'm thinking she's getting the dour edit.  But I haven't seen much fun from Jake, either.  He probably thinks his quirky hobby fulfills that requirement, but I'm afraid he's wrong, and I'm positive he's wrong when it comes to Haley.

As @LuvMyShows pointed out, her trips to Australia and Pamplona were fertile ground for fun, lively conversation that just didn't happen, and I don't get the impression it was because she didn't want to elaborate.

[humbleopinion]

Haley is not an unwitting player in their story line.

She know Jake feels left out because he isn't as chummy with the rest of the cast.

The brides are especially tight whereas the guys can barely make convo admiring Jake's well equipped home gym.

I don't want to think of the mixture of Atlanta humidity, the molds and smells from the sauna, gym and bedroom in the basement, no wonder he had a ceiling fan at full speed.......crack some windows please...

The best thing about the pool party...PO$ wasn't invited....

 

[JAndy]

15 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

I really wish they'd fully explain what happened.  I can imagine that the girls were getting together.  One husband decided to accompany his wife to the lobby or wherever, and another husband decided to do the same thing, and suddenly it's all the girls and some of the husbands, and the husbands stick around a bit (where they might not have if they'd been the only guy in the group), and Haley was thinking (or even wishing) they were just there for a minute, and would be moving on.  And if the husbands moved on and wanted Jake to join them, they'd call him.

 

Haley explained it on Unfiltered. It was going to be a girls night, Erik wanted to go too so he went with Virginia. Ryan came down with Clara and was going to gamble but when he saw Erik, he decided to stay. Haley wanted some space from Jacob so didn’t say anything. They said they didn’t “run away” but kind of glossed over that part. Her explanation to the girls night did seem legitimate though. I could see that happening.   

here’s the link to it on YouTube. It’s towards the end 

 

[lh25]

1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Po$ is mad Pastor Dwight comes off too well... so he severs ties with him...

I hated Chris's "how dare he talk to Paige without getting my permission" rant.  And his "I was mad at you, but I'm not now" with that smile I want to smack off his face.  Then the do-over, "Hi, I'm Paige".  Honesty would have Chris saying "Hi, I'm Chris and I have a pregnant ex-fiancée".  This is NOT a situation that calls for a clean slate.

Edited March 13, 2021 by lh25
spelling

[Boo Boo]

Eric must've picked up the guitar last year.  The way his friend asked him if Virginia if she's heard him play yet made me think he's a virtuoso.  I was not expecting basic chords.

[Rae Spellman]

1 hour ago, lh25 said:

I hated Chris's "how dare he talk to Paige without getting my permission" rant.  

Yes. Also, birds of a feather and all that.

Couples often get each other's numbers in bed after the wedding. Yet, Dwight who presumably met Paige once had her number, called, and was filmed offering support. Dwight. Not her family, her friends, or her pastor.  Maybe the others are/were providing off-camera support while Dwight is using this platform to badmouth his parishioner and friend. A friend that is likely the same dude he was three weeks ago. This entire Paige and Chris storyline is a farce. Or, all of these people are awful.