Worst Movies Ever

[magicdog]

On 4/24/2021 at 3:12 PM, Razzberry said:

The Sandpiper  Strike two for Vincente Minelli.  Even the gorgeous scenery in Big Sur and Liz Taylor's big breasts couldn't compensate for the dreary plot, terrible writing, and laughable casting in this lame soap-by-the-sea.

It just aired this week on TCM!  I hadn't seen it, heard about it tough.  Sounds like it was a vanity project for Liz & Dick since they were an item by then.

On 4/24/2021 at 3:12 PM, Razzberry said:

Minelli's idea of a beach beatnik.

Actually, I'm not sure what one would have looked like by 1965!  They were Hippies by then weren't they?  Or perhaps that was the generic term used for, "artiste"?  In other summaries for the film, Liz's character was described as a "free spirit".

On 4/8/2021 at 1:17 PM, Razzberry said:

The Nesting  Sadly the last film of former A-lister Gloria Grahame.  I have to admit that this was actually kind of fun, despite the bad acting.  John Carradine was in it too.

I seem to remember seeing a hilarious review of this somewhere......

[searches fave YT channels]

Found it!!

I think the story had potential, it was all about the execution.

Edited April 29, 2021 by magicdog

[Razzberry]

6 hours ago, magicdog said:

I seem to remember seeing a hilarious review of this somewhere......

[searches fave YT channels]

Found it!!

I think the story had potential, it was all about the execution.

That's a perfect description, a Good Bad Flick.  Even bad movies can be entertaining if they're bad enough to be funny, and that's what I liked about The Nesting.

Unfortunately Speed Kills with, once again, John Travolta, is just bad.  Very amateurish direction, and the speedboat footage looked like someone's home movies without any excitement whatsoever.

Apparently.

Edited April 30, 2021 by Razzberry

[Blergh]

For this category, let's not overlook Mr. Woodcock (2007) 'starring' Billy Bob Thorton and Susan Sarandon in this thoroughly unpleasant spectacle in which the latter's grown son (Seann William Scott) tries to discourage her from marrying the sadistic, martinet coach who deliberately ruined his childhood- only to be met with apathetic indifference from her and bullying to a fever pitch from him without the slightest attempt at redemption or even any kind of explanation for the title character's warped character. Oh, and it sends the horrible messages that anyone objecting to child abuse is to be belittled, jeered and dumped  on(and all victims  should just drink the Kool Aid and  join the cults worshipping the abusers or else their lives are worthless)!

No, I couldn't even make it through the previews much less pay money to see this abomination but one doesn't have to eat  any much less the whole egg to know that it's ROTTEN to the core! 

 

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Edited May 1, 2021 by Blergh

[Razzberry]

Dream casting for F.A.R.T. II, The Sequel?  

[Blergh]

While I don't want this thread to becoming a 'nothing but gross out movies' thread, the above movie brought to mind another one that I couldn't believe anyone greenlit, agreed to perform in,etc. or that anyone bothered to watch:

Joe's Apartment (1996): This movie celebrates the 'antics' of zillions of roaches (yes, roaches) living in some dude's apartment. Another one I couldn't make it through the previews much less  be bothered to see. How Jerry O'Connell  somehow managed to have any kind of career after 'starring' in this nasty dreck, I will never understand (and I hope he's had more than one talk with his minor offspring apologizing for having made this one and how while one can overcome bad mistakes, it's best to avoid making them in the first place). 

[Razzberry]

Baby Doll, 1956.  The writing up top is very small but says:  She's nineteen.  She makes her husband keep away.  She won't let the stranger go.

She looks more like 15 so these alleged middle aged victims are stupid.  Baby Doll sleeps in a crib sucking her thumb,  yet the opening music is a bluesy, stripper number.  Karl Malden is shown spying on her through a hole in the wall.  Everything about it was disturbing.

Then Baby Doll wakes up, and things become clearer.  We learn that her dying father had arranged the marriage to then somewhat prosperous cotton farmer Malden so she would be taken care of.   The unbelievable agreement was hands off until her 20th birthday, which is 3 days away.  The farm is actually failing, the house is falling apart, the furniture repossessed, and Baby Doll, despising her dumb redneck husband, is getting desperate.  It's obvious Baby Doll calls the shots.

Whenever they get in the car, Baby Doll sits in the back.  She inquires about a job, but she's unskilled.

Eli Wallach also has a beef with Malden and uses Baby Doll to get to him.  They find common cause.

It turns out to be just a dark white trash comedy, which can be fun. Carroll Baker is wonderful in the role, and Malden is despicable,  but the ad campaign and marketing of this film is the worst ever.  Pedophiles everywhere must have been incensed at the bait & switch.

Edited May 23, 2021 by Razzberry

[Ms Blue Jay]

Around 20 years ago I declared that "Mission to Mars" by Brian de Palma was the worst movie I had ever seen.  I'm shocked that it surpassed "The Postman" by Kevin Costner because there is no way it could be worse than that, could it?

It currently sits at 25% on Rotten Tomatoes.  I have very little recollection of this movie.  I shouldn't rewatch it, should I?  LOL.

Edited May 24, 2021 by Ms Blue Jay

[xaxat]

5 hours ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Around 20 years ago I declared that "Mission to Mars" by Brian de Palma was the worst movie I had ever seen.  I'm shocked that it surpassed "The Postman" by Kevin Costner because there is no way it could be worse than that, could it?

It currently sits at 25% on Rotten Tomatoes.  I have very little recollection of this movie.  I shouldn't rewatch it, should I?  LOL.

The crazy thing is that there were two really bad movies about exploring Mars in 2000. The other was Red Planet starring Val Kilmer. It sits at 14 percent on Rotten Tomatoes.

[Hiyo]

In honor of it's 20th anniversary, how about Pearl Harbor? God, what a piece of shit movie. This bit from Roger Ebert's review more or less sums it up:

Quote

"Pearl Harbor" is a two-hour movie squeezed into three hours, about how on Dec. 7, 1941, the Japanese staged a surprise attack on an American love triangle. Its centerpiece is 40 minutes of redundant special effects, surrounded by a love story of stunning banality. The film has been directed without grace, vision, or originality, and although you may walk out quoting lines of dialog, it will not be because you admire them.

 

[GreekGeek]

I have a couple of possibilities:

Very Bad Things, a 1998 movie that wants to be a classic of dark comedy. A stripper accidentally dies at a bachelor party and the celebrants decide the best thing to do is dismember and bury her in the desert. Then the hotel detective comes to answer a noise complaint and they kill him. Things go wrong. This would make a respectable psychological thriller if it were played straight, but to quote Roger Ebert again, "If you think this movie is funny, that tells me things about you that I don't want to know."

Hardly Working, a 1981 Jerry Lewis vehicle where he plays an out of work clown trying to hold down a regular job. His impersonation of a Japanese chef was a particularly awful racist caricature. A lot of the later Lewis films could probably be listed here, but this is the only one I've seen. (I reserve judgment on The Day the Clown Cried, where he is a clown in a concentration camp, because it will probably never be distributed.)

[Blergh]

7 hours ago, Hiyo said:

In honor of it's 20th anniversary, how about Pearl Harbor? God, what a piece of shit movie. This bit from Roger Ebert's review more or less sums it up:

 

I totally agree with that review but I'd like to add that it was SO filled with historical anachronisms that the issue of the woman who was an Army nurse becoming pregnant and not a word  was mentioned about how (at that time) her career would have been finished! Of course it was totally unfair, sexist,etc. but that WAS what Army nurses had to contend with during that time and it should have been addressed! BOGUS!

 

P.S. Hard to believe that 20 years have passed since that movie's debut. Time sure flies but I can't say it was having fun! 

Edited May 25, 2021 by Blergh

[Shannon L.]

10 hours ago, Hiyo said:

In honor of it's 20th anniversary, how about Pearl Harbor? God, what a piece of shit movie. This bit from Roger Ebert's review more or less sums it up:

 

Agreed.  And yet, it's one of those stupid movies that I have to stop and watch, at least for a little while, if I see it while I'm channel surfing.

[Mabinogia]

2 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Agreed.  And yet, it's one of those stupid movies that I have to stop and watch, at least for a little while, if I see it while I'm channel surfing.

Much like Titanic, the setting/time is something I have a great interest in, and the setting and costumes are great (both are set in times where I LOVED the fashion) but the "love story" is tedious and devoid of any real passion for me. Both movies suck for me because I had such hopes for them both. 

[Blergh]

19 hours ago, Shannon L. said:

Agreed.  And yet, it's one of those stupid movies that I have to stop and watch, at least for a little while, if I see it while I'm channel surfing.

ONCE was more than enough for me which is why Pearl Harbor is on my Worst Movies Ever list!  If I felt like I could stop and watch any part of it again, it wouldn't be on my list. FWIW.

[AngieBee1]

2:22 starring Michiel Huisman (The Flight Attendant) and Theresa Palmer (A Discovery of Witches).  I saw it at a test screening and usually audiences are pretty polite during those because we know we're being watched by studio execs and sometimes the creatives behind the film but there was no stopping the groans and the mutterings of disbelief over how atrocious and ridiculous this film was.  And the test portion was worse when people were actually asked their opinions - there was no holding back.  Even walking out aftewards someone else who was in the screening stopped me to see if I found it as profoundly awful as he did.

It took a couple of years after that screening for the studio to actually release the film with little fanfare.  It made $400+ at the box office. I can't believe it made that much.

I've seen hundreds upon hundreds, if not thousands of films in the theater and the only one I have ever walked out of was "Year One" starring Jack Black and Michael Cera.  I don't think I made it 30 minutes.  Astoundingly unfunny. 

[Scarlett45]

One of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time:

Tomorrowland: Whenever Casey Newton (Britt Robertson) touches a lapel pin with the letter T on it, she finds herself transported to Tomorrowland, a city filled with huge robots and sleek buildings. The gifted young woman recruits the help of scientist Frank Walker (George Clooney), a previous visitor to Tomorrowland, who years ago made a startling discovery about the future. Together, the two adventurers travel to the metropolis to uncover its mysterious secrets.  
 

 

poor George. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

On 5/26/2021 at 12:36 PM, AngieBee1 said:

I've seen hundreds upon hundreds, if not thousands of films in the theater and the only one I have ever walked out of was "Year One" starring Jack Black and Michael Cera.  I don't think I made it 30 minutes.  Astoundingly unfunny. 

Hey, I had the same experience.  I wrote it down all those years back.

I said that I had to stop watching at 25 minutes because of how offensive it was.  Something really bad happened that made me leave.  (I don't remember what it was.).   I said that it was like a snuff film.

[Rushmoras]

I haven't watched that many movies, but Blair Witch franchise takes the cake as worst movies ever to exist.

[Bastet]

7 minutes ago, Rushmoras said:

I haven't watched that many movies, but Blair Witch franchise takes the cake as worst movies ever to exist.

I only saw the original, but I loved it, especially the early screener I came across that was on the whole a better version than what became the theatrical release (which was the first version I saw).  And then I saw yet another cut on DVD, and thought I could create a fantastic movie from the three.

Which, yeah, the filmmakers should have done from jump, but they still turned out a great horror film on a pocket change budget.  I would not be at all surprised if the sequels rushed into production after its success utterly lost that magic, like the Halloween sequels.  I just had learned my lesson by then, and didn't watch any of them, so the original stands alone in my memories.

[starri]

I haven't watched it yet (I was DELIGHTED to discover it's on HBOMax), but this is a dream come true.

Just from the clips, as bad an actor as Aaron Carter is, the female lead is even worse.  She's kind of...awkward looking even after her de rigeur makeover scene, so you can imagine my complete lack of surprise to discover she's the daughter of one of the producers.

[kiddo82]

Robin Hood (2018).  It's not even entertainingly bad or incompetently done.  It just feels empty despite having the shell of a fun, updated version.  All of the characters feel half baked at best and everything is simply anti-climactic .  But my favorite/least favorite part are the Crusades scenes where they tried to make it look like Seal Team 6.  I have no idea how they actually fought wars back in the day, but I know that the long bow is not a close quarter weapon.  It looks ridiculous.  And they wasted Taron Egerton, Jamie Foxx, Ben Mendelsohn, and F. Murray Abraham.

[JustHereForFood]

I haven't seen that one, but I was utterly disappointed in the 2010 version with Russell Crowe. I don't even remember anything of the plot, just how completely bored I was. And the cast was likewise promising, but wasted.

[raven]

On 6/6/2021 at 3:07 AM, Rushmoras said:

Blair Witch

This was my vote for worst movie ever - not scary and I was actively rooting for everyone to die - until I watched The Ice Road with Liam Neeson.

I was kind of in awe at how bad it was - terrible, terrible CGI and acting; tropes galore; evil corporation being evil for some reason that I don't remember being explained and NO ONE is likable.  Our hero acts like an ass; obligatory tough gal truck driver does as well; trapped miners do; hero's brother does something incredibly dumb towards the end of the movie.

Usually I can laugh at bad movies and I did laugh often during this one but it didn't make it any better.  Also, we are barely on the damned ice road.   They even finagled Laurence Fishburne into this mess.  Here's the trailer which makes it look like a fun time waster but don't be fooled!

 

[kiddo82]

5 hours ago, JustHereForFood said:

I haven't seen that one, but I was utterly disappointed in the 2010 version with Russell Crowe. I don't even remember anything of the plot, just how completely bored I was. And the cast was likewise promising, but wasted.

I haven't even tried that one.

 

I saw the Blair Witch Project once and only once when it came out in the theater in 1999.  I haven't revised this list in a while but it held a spot on my worst movies of all time list for quite some time.

[WritinMan]

Superbad (2007).

This movie is truly appropriately named. Did not laugh once. I kept with it assuming that I would eventually laugh. I mean, I can laugh at some pretty stupid shit. I thought Joe Dirt was funny. So...this would have to make me laugh, right?

No. Not at all.

This movie also established a trifecta of actors I now hate: Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, and Jonah Hill.

[Ms Blue Jay]

This isn't the Best Movies Ever topic.  (Kidding.  Half kidding.  Not kidding.) 

[Blergh]

Although, IMO, there were worse movies before and after this one,  I can't help but nominate The Wiz (1978) for this one.

It featured some good performers (most notably the late Richard Pryor in the title role and a shining cameo by the legendary Lena Horne as Glinda the Good) but  the whole thing somewhat tanked from the start.

Most regrettably in the decision to dump the winsome Stephanie Mills (born 1957) as the protagonist Dorothy who had shined in the Broadway mid 1970's interpretation in favor of Diana Ross (born 1944). In doing so, the role was transformed from a naive,shy teenager to an agoraphobic 24-year-old schoolteacher [like if she rarely if ever left her aunt and uncle's apartment, how did she get any degree much less teach].  While a young woman with an anxiety disorder could have been made a sympathetic character, alas, Miss Ross's interpretation  somewhat frayed and wore out the audience's patience with her constant crying and whining about wanting to return home. Oddly enough ,  there were times when she'd sing, the camera inexplicably would zoom on an extreme close up of her mouth- as though the poor cinema audience was about to be sent through a tunnel of love! 

Mabel King as Evillene [the Wicked Witch of the West] nearly steals the show before she melts before Glinda the Good [Lena Horne] makes her appearance and almost saves the movie but alas, even these two are not enough to salvage the dreary and uneven tone . Hence, it's a relief when it's over!

Though I admit I liked the songs 'Ease on Down the Road' and 'Believe in Yourself' [Lena Horne's rendition], they in themselves weren't worth enduring the rest of the movie for.

BTW, this would be Michael Jackson [the Scarecrow]'s only movie performing role and it's not hard to understand why he wouldn't have wanted to have done another. He seemed utterly miserable in this!

P.P.S. What's also rather sad, in retrospect, was that this movie bombed and wound up virtually sinking movie productions starring African-American casts for quite some time thereafter!

[xls]

THE BLAIR WITCH PROJECT 

Not scarry at all.

Gawd the characters were so DUMB! 

Me as a little kid could have led them out of the woods! I was exploring in the woods/ hills of WV every day after school, no map. never got lost!🙄

[Anela]

Pulp Fiction.  

[meep.meep]

MetalStorm - the destruction of Jared Syn

not the least because he is not destroyed but just disappears.

It was an '80s sci fi movie shot in 3D with an incomprehensible plot

[Palimelon]

Speaking of bad 80s movies, how about Masters of the Universe, the 1987 live-adaptation of He-Man? I mean, talk about a turd of a movie.

Edited July 13 by Palimelon

[kathyk2]

I hated Pulp Fiction it was too violent and had too much swearing. I thought The English Patient and Lost in Translation were so boring I don't know why the critics loved those moviers.

[Ohiopirate02]

13 hours ago, kathyk2 said:

I hated Pulp Fiction it was too violent and had too much swearing. I thought The English Patient and Lost in Translation were so boring I don't know why the critics loved those moviers.

Lost in Translation did not work for me. The English Patient OTOH, I get it. And by it, I mean Ralph Fiennes in his prime and Naveen Andrews. 

[Spartan Girl]

Blonde. Three hours of desecrating Marilyn Monroe, exploiting her sex life with barely a mention of her accomplishments, let alone her acting. Not even the fast forward button made it watchable. I hated it just as much as Wired, except Wired at least had the decency to be short.

And I just watched Back to Black, the shitty Amy Winehouse biopic. It is definitely in my top ( bottom) worst biopics.

[EtheltoTillie]

On 3/3/2021 at 4:08 AM, Blergh said:

For howlers one can't overlook Paradise (1982) starring Eight is Enough alleged heartthrob Willie Aames and future Mrs. Kevin Kline Phoebe Cates as teens of two sets of missionary parents who get massacred by a white slaver in 1823  in the Middle East then spend months fooling around while hiding out in a jungle-like oasis that local desert dwellers somehow overlooked - wearing as little as possible.  They were so incredibly wooden (in terms of acting stiffness) that the two chimps (in a Middle Eastern oasis?) canoodling provided what little entertainment there was and were the only vaguely likable characters in this rather dreary, draggy  mess!

That sounds so much like the island movie with Brooke Shields!  Can’t remember the name. Also terrible. 

[Palimelon]

The Blue Lagoon?

[EtheltoTillie]

On 3/12/2021 at 12:41 PM, Razzberry said:

The Cobweb would've made a great comedy except it's serious as a heart attack.  Directed by Vincente Minelli and starring Richard Widmark, Gloria Grahame, Lauren Bacall, Lillian Gish and Charles Boyer.

Centered around a mental facility so posh that even the patients wear suits and ties, the drama is all about the staff and the drapes in the library.  Dr. McIver (Widmark) is married to Grahame who gets involved with swatches and doesn't even work there.  She enlists the help of his amorous boss (Boyer).

While Widmark is off smooching with Bacall his wife breaks in and hangs up some expensive drapery which causes quite a stir.

The patients are growing concerned about the staff's obsession with the drapes and call a meeting.

 

 

This really is hilariously terrible. We’ve commented on it on the TCM thread. The banner description refers only to the argument about drapes. 

1 minute ago, Palimelon said:

The Blue Lagoon?

Thanks I see above someone else noted that. 

[EtheltoTillie]

FYI. Did y’all know there is a 1949 version of Blue Lagoon, with one of my faves, Jean Simmons. I would love to track it down. 

[Palimelon]

Quote

Thanks I see above someone else noted that. 

I can't see that someone else...

[Blergh]

On 8/1/2024 at 4:59 PM, Palimelon said:

I can't see that someone else...

Upthread, I and other folks compared Blue Lagoon (1980) to Paradise (1982) - the latter being a rip off and IMO was worse!

[proserpina65]

On 8/1/2024 at 5:26 PM, EtheltoTillie said:

That sounds so much like the island movie with Brooke Shields!  Can’t remember the name. Also terrible. 

The Blue Lagoon, which was successful enough for some reason that someone decided to make a rip-off of it.  That movie was Paradise.  They both stank to high heaven, but Christopher Atkins was much more attractive than Willie Ames.  I'll confess to having his poster on my wall at the time (Atkins, that is).  I did not, however, pay to see the movie in the theater.

[Palimelon]

They also decided to make a sequel to The Blue Lagoon, which made the original look like an Oscar worthy contender.

[Palimelon]

I haven't seen this, and I'm not sure I want to see it, but damn...

 

[Crashcourse]

I hated The Graduate, and I thought it was gross because there's no way I would run off with a guy who had sex with my mother.

[andromeda331]

On 8/14/2024 at 6:27 PM, Crashcourse said:

I hated The Graduate, and I thought it was gross because there's no way I would run off with a guy who had sex with my mother.

Neither would I. That movie should have ended with her leaving both behind.

[BlueSkies]

On 8/14/2024 at 8:27 PM, Crashcourse said:

I hated The Graduate, and I thought it was gross because there's no way I would run off with a guy who had sex with my mother.

I didn't hate it but find it overrated.

Perhaps today the film would be told more from the eyes of Mrs. Robinson if it was made or re made.  

[Crashcourse]

1 hour ago, BlueSkies said:

I didn't hate it but find it overrated.

Perhaps today the film would be told more from the eyes of Mrs. Robinson if it was made or re made.  

Told from the perspective of a woman who seduced and screwed someone she knew her daughter was dating?

No thanks.