S02.E05: Dropping Bombs

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Quote

Tammy's new doctor gives her what feels like an insurmountable weight goal, but it's not the only challenge she's facing.  Amy and Michael drop a bomb that changes everything.

Original air date 2021.02.01

[SunnyBeBe]

I'm bringing this over from the Live Chat thread.  I just wanted to explain my comment about Amy caring for Tammy.  Of course, Amy is entitled to her own life, but my point was that if you know that a person is living in a facility where they are receiving assistance with the tasks of their daily life, such as bathing, toileting, food preparation, healthcare needs, laundry, etc., and you bring them home with you, then, it's expected that you will do it or provide someone who will.  Just because you tire of it, doesn't mean you get to walk away.  So, I hope that they can find alternate help or as Chris said, get her back into assisted living. When Tammy kept saying that she would be okay living alone.....it's just not feasible.  She's already suffered from a crisis.  I hope they use proper judgment on this.    

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Tammy tells herself that she is independent and doesn't need others.  Then she gets angry at Amy for not taking care of everything for her.  It was telling that she said she only lost weight when Amy was cooking her one meal a day and that was all that she could eat.  Obviously she has now learned how to get candy on her own.  The larger she gets, the less likely she will be to care for herself.  As you said, she has already had one health crisis.  She does not seem to have ever taken real responsibility for her own care. From what we know, she seems to bath and dress herself, but I am starting to question that.  She is a very sad case. 

As far as her extreme anger goes, there is a saying in psychology that anger is depression turned outward.  While I don't believe that is always the case (there is righteous and justified anger), I do think Tammy is extremely depressed and is trying to find ways to blame everyone else for her depression.  

[Bugfrey Von]

In news that is no surprise to anyone, Tammy continues to be absolutely hateful and childish. Her brother loses 30 pounds and he’s “lucky ass Chris” because the doctor gives him a lower weight loss goal. She is a perpetual victim, always looking at other people to gauge how much she should be doing. Amy has a right to her own life. I don’t think it’ll really happen because they have a weird symbiotic relationship, where she gets to feel better about being obese because she’s not as obese as Tammy, and Tammy can eat what she wants because “Amy ain’t watching what she eats either!”

Edited February 2, 2021 by Bugfrey Von

[SunnyBeBe]

It's definitely a dysfunctional relationship.  Despite their mutual love for the other, it's difficult to imagine them free from dependence, resentment, anger, guilt,.....it's unfortunate.  Lots of room for therapy there.  

Tammy is much larger than she was in the beginning, so her ability to perform daily tasks must be even less than before. Apparently, she would need help with bathing, bathroom hygiene, meal prep, household chores, etc.  

[Twopper]

2 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I'm bringing this over from the Live Chat thread.  I just wanted to explain my comment about Amy caring for Tammy.  Of course, Amy is entitled to her own life, but my point was that if you know that a person is living in a facility where they are receiving assistance with the tasks of their daily life, such as bathing, toileting, food preparation, healthcare needs, laundry, etc., and you bring them home with you, then, it's expected that you will do it or provide someone who will.  Just because you tire of it, doesn't mean you get to walk away.  So, I hope that they can find alternate help or as Chris said, get her back into assisted living. When Tammy kept saying that she would be okay living alone.....it's just not feasible.  She's already suffered from a crisis.  I hope they use proper judgment on this.    

I wish we knew more of the backstory to this like how much she weighed back then and  how much she did for herself and how much she weighed when she moved in with Amy as well as how long she was in the assisted living facility..  Tammy has such anger issues the staff might have been more than happy to get rid of her.  I wonder if she was in a place like Brookhaven.  There was a place in Ohio, I think, that was similar. 

I am also wondering how Dr Proctor settled on this doctor in Georgetown KY.  I know it probably needed to be someone that allowed filming patient visits and possibly the surgery as well as someone willing to operate on someone in the 500's which I am not sure all bariatric practices are, although there seem to be more and more of them.  They are about the same distance to St Louis as to Georgetown, Louisville, Frankfort and Lexington which are all fairly close together.  Nashville is closer as is Bowling Green, Ky, and Evansville, Ind.  All of these places have bariatric doctors and clinics.  It is 3 hours to Georgetown. 

Someone on the live chat mentioned AA--- Overeaters Anonymous has meetings in Evansville Indiana which is the closest large town to them.  AA has Al-anon for relatives so I guess OA may as well.  Amy  and Chris could benefit from both groups if they do.  Of course, they don't allow filming so maybe Amy and Tammy wouldn't go.

I cracked up over the cast she made of her belly.  The lower part is her "apron" (panniculus?).  The baby bump is higher up.  I have no clue if Amy realized that.  I think part of her problem is that because of her eyesight she probably doesn't read much, and she may never have liked reading.   I mention this only because when I was preggers I read everything I could find.  If she had read, she might have realized that heartburn is a problem in the last trimester and with her being heavy to begin with, it is probably a worse problem for her than normal weight people.  I thought of that when she ate so much Chinese food.  I am sure there is plenty of information on youtube and podcasts, but I doubt she has the curiosity to seek them out.

[sadie]

A few things. Chris talking to Amy about how they need to get creative in helping Tammy, ugh, I just want to shake these people. Until Tammy takes charge of herself it’s never going to work, stop trying. Let go and let God.  She’s an addict, until they let her hit rock bottom she will never get better. We can all see how well their “helping” has worked, she gained 50 POUNDS IN ONE MONTH. 
 

And if Tammy is in as much danger as the doctor and everyone keeps saying get her hospitalized NOW. What are they waiting for? For her to have a stroke or a heart attack. It’s obvious she’s going in the wrong direction. OR is this just for drama? I believe it’s the former as she can barely move from her seat to a wheelchair but I think the time for talking and trying to get “creative” has passed, this woman is dying in front of our eyes. It’s not funny, it’s not cute. This woman is in serious peril. 

[Caoimhe]

2 hours ago, Bugfrey Von said:

In news that is no surprise to anyone, Tammy continues to be absolutely hateful and childish. Her brother loses 30 pounds and he’s “lucky ass Chris” because the doctor gives him a lower weight loss goal. She is a perpetual victim, always looking at other people to gauge how much she should be doing. Amy has a right to her own life. I don’t think it’ll really happen because they have a weird symbiotic relationship, where she gets to feel better about being obese because she’s not as obese as Tammy, and Tammy can eat what she wants because “Amy ain’t watching what she eats either!”

My first thought when she said that was if she hadn’t gained an extra 50 pounds her goal would still have been the original 50 Dr. Proctor said she needed to lose!  I thought the new doctor explained it very well that the instruments were only a certain size and if she didn’t lose sufficient weight they wouldn’t be able to perform the surgery.  I think the Amy on Obesity Med last week went in for surgery only to find they didn’t have instruments long enough to reach inside her abdomen, and she seemed much smaller than Tammy.  But I doubt any of that penetrated her brain, and nothing Chris or Amy can do will change her (but she’ll certainly blame them for everything anyway).

[SunnyBeBe]

One thing that struck me was that Chris was so adamant that they HELP Tammy, because if they don't they will feel so GUILTY.  Guilt is a very common feeling according to what I read about caregivers.  Apparently, some people feel horribly guilty about anything someone else does, no matter how helpful you have been.  I don't get it, but it's very popular.  I suspect it's often a plea for others to not blame them.  Anyway, I think Chris, Amy and Tammy have odd views on enabling, helping, accountability, etc.  

[SevenCostanza]

59 minutes ago, sadie said:

And if Tammy is in as much danger as the doctor and everyone keeps saying get her hospitalized NOW. What are they waiting for? For her to have a stroke or a heart attack. It’s obvious she’s going in the wrong direction. OR is this just for drama? I believe it’s the former as she can barely move from her seat to a wheelchair but I think the time for talking and trying to get “creative” has passed, this woman is dying in front of our eyes. It’s not funny, it’s not cute. This woman is in serious peril. 

I agree.  She needs serious help now.  There is no way she could live alone.  One good fall and she's bedridden.  Tammy can barely move now as it is, and you can see she's having great pain.     She can't do it on her own, but Amy shouldn't be responsible for  her.  Amy has to move on with her own family, (hey did you know she was pregnant??)  But I can understand her feelings of wanting to help Tammy and being over it at the same time.   Tammy would do better in a place with round the clock care where her food is monitored.

 

[RedDelicious]

I thought it was interesting that they showed Tammy cooking for herself when Amy and Michael were out of town. Although now that I think of it, that might have been on last week's episode. Regardless, I don't see Tammy making the effort to cook on a regular basis; just the effort of the salad tongs to turn the stove controls and the risk of burning herself is likely enough for her to rationalize her way out of it. 

[Mothra]

4 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Tammy tells herself that she is independent and doesn't need others.  Then she gets angry at Amy for not taking care of everything for her.  It was telling that she said she only lost weight when Amy was cooking her one meal a day and that was all that she could eat.  Obviously she has now learned how to get candy on her own.  The larger she gets, the less likely she will be to care for herself.  As you said, she has already had one health crisis.  She does not seem to have ever taken real responsibility for her own care. From what we know, she seems to bath and dress herself, but I am starting to question that.  She is a very sad case. 

As far as her extreme anger goes, there is a saying in psychology that anger is depression turned outward.  While I don't believe that is always the case (there is righteous and justified anger), I do think Tammy is extremely depressed and is trying to find ways to blame everyone else for her depression.  

I've wondered for a while just how independent Tammy is in her self-care.  Have we ever seen her bathroom?  If she has a bathroom really set up for a person with a serious disability--which she has, no matter whether it's of her own doing or not--she probably can bathe and toilet herself.  But after watching other fat people shows, I really don't think she is able to dress herself without assistance.  Do we know anything about the sisters' health, other than their obesity?  If Amy and Michael move away, Tammy might really need some kind of trained semi-medical assistance, every day.  But maybe Amy won't move too far, and will be able to check in frequently.  I don't think Tammy's idea of her independence is the same as that of the rest of the world.

It's funny--the maxim I know is that depression is anger that cannot be expressed, like fury at a parent.  Either way, I agree that Tammy is depressed (who wouldn't be?) and needs help with that.  I think her anger/depression is a big roadblock for her weight-loss Journey.

[Kid]

16 minutes ago, Mothra said:

It's funny--the maxim I know is that depression is anger that cannot be expressed, like fury at a parent.  Either way, I agree that Tammy is depressed (who wouldn't be?) and needs help with that.  I think her anger/depression is a big roadblock for her weight-loss Journey.

Addiction is rarely the cause - it is the symptom. I believe all of these siblings had a rough childhood - abuse.  Yes they were dirt poor but you can be poor but have a loving family.  And Tammy seems to be full of rage and taking it out on everyone including herself!

OA would do them a world of good especially since they will not go to therapy nor do they resonate with it.  OA would be a group of people with whom they could identify - both the pain and the successes and failures.

[SunnyBeBe]

Some people who need hands on care with daily tasks live in a delusional world. It's called magical thinking.  They convince themselves that they are fine, with a little checking in on they'll be fine.  I've known people who can NOT stand up say they are fine living alone with no assistance. Just so a neighbor lives next door.  They just don't get it.  To me the reality is not what Tammy believes is true.  And, I'm not sure how she would navigate herself in a bathroom.  Not to be gross, so, I'll leave it at that. 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Watching her at the stove helped me realize she would benefit from assistive devices.  There are special devices made to help with things like reaching the knobs on the stove.  I would expect she has something to use to wipe herself (hopefully not the same tongs she uses for the stove 😳).  Chris bringing over the device to help put on socks made me think she cannot fully dress herself and likely does need help with socks and underwear.  I can imagine her needing the help, then getting angry with the person for helping her.  Kind of pull m underwear up to this level then an angry I can do this myself moment. Sure, at some point she can reach it, but likely someone is helping her for a portion of the effort.

For her to actually be able to care for herself she would need to acknowledge those things that she cannot do without some assistance, find ways or devices to help and make arrangements for things that she is physically not capable of doing while working on a plan to improve her physical condition so she could handle them.  I don't see a mentality that will take her down that path. 

[lulu69]

3 hours ago, Mothra said:

I've wondered for a while just how independent Tammy is in her self-care.  Have we ever seen her bathroom?  If she has a bathroom really set up for a person with a serious disability--which she has, no matter whether it's of her own doing or not--she probably can bathe and toilet herself.  But after watching other fat people shows, I really don't think she is able to dress herself without assistance.  Do we know anything about the sisters' health, other than their obesity?  If Amy and Michael move away, Tammy might really need some kind of trained semi-medical assistance, every day.  But maybe Amy won't move too far, and will be able to check in frequently.  I don't think Tammy's idea of her independence is the same as that of the rest of the world.

Forgive me if I'm wrong as it was a full year ago but I seem to remember a scene from season 1, ep 1 maybe, where Tammy took a sponge bath in Amy's livingroom.

Please tell me this actually happened and I didn't dream it lol

[lulu69]

3 hours ago, Kid said:

I believe all of these siblings had a rough childhood - abuse.  Yes they were dirt poor but you can be poor but have a loving family.  And Tammy seems to be full of rage and taking it out on everyone including herself!

And yet, all of Tammy's siblings, even Amy, are able to care for themselves and function reasonably well in society. Tammy can't and won't even try to improve her situation. This made me previously wonder if some other additional trauma occurred to Tammy.

[CrazyInAlabama]

I think Tammy's poor eyesight is a factor in doing anything for herself.    I wonder if corrective eye muscle surgery could help one or both sister?   

 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

5 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I think Tammy's poor eyesight is a factor in doing anything for herself.    I wonder if corrective eye muscle surgery could help one or both sister?   

 

Amy has the vision issue, not Tammy.  I would expect if it was possible for her, it would have been done.  It is a common and relatively inexpensive surgery, but 1) I doubt they have had the best medical care throughout their lives and 2) it may be too late.  Also, her eye may turn because she doesn't see well out of it.  Eye muscle surgery would not correct that.

Full disclosure, I had my eyes done at 5 and at 12. 

[Twopper]

38 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I think Tammy's poor eyesight is a factor in doing anything for herself.    I wonder if corrective eye muscle surgery could help one or both sister?   

Amy is the one who is legally blind.   Tammy could have poor eyesight as well, I guess, especially since her eyes almost disappear under all the fat in her face. 

[CrazyInAlabama]

I know Amy's legally blind, but Tammy just doesn't seem to see too well either.   I'm wondering if her eyelids are interfering?   Or it might just be that I dislike the way she doesn't even seem to try to try to improve her lot in life.   

[CanuckFan]

I'm not sure buy that Amy is "legally blind". If she was, shed be wearing glasses.

[RedDelicious]

It’s possible that she can’t see out of her lazy eye and depending on the degree of impairment, that might render her legally blind. 

Tbh I feel like Tammy’s overhang impairs her vision more than Amy’s lazy eye impairs hers 😱

[PrincessPurrsALot]

Amy could also have vision issues that cannot be corrected by glasses.  There are different forms of blindness. 

[auntjess]

15 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

She does not seem to have ever taken real responsibility for her own care. From what we know, she seems to bath and dress herself, but I am starting to question that. 

I doubt she can do daily showers though, with all the trouble she has getting around, and she'd need a big walk-in shower.

9 hours ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

  I would expect she has something to use to wipe herself (hopefully not the same tongs she uses for the stove 😳). 

I wouldn't bet on it though.

5 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

I know Amy's legally blind, but Tammy just doesn't seem to see too well either.   I'm wondering if her eyelids are interfering?   Or it might just be that I dislike the way she doesn't even seem to try to try to improve her lot in life.   

I think it's the fat on her forehead that may make it hard to open her eyes wide.
The meet and greet was often awkward, but Tammy was the better one at  making it less so.  You'd think they both be used to it.
I think a life-alert would be a must have for Tammy, but is there service in all areas of the country?

 

Edited February 3, 2021 by auntjess

[Scarlett45]

I do think if Tammy has any chance of success she needs to be in a controlled environment for a while. I wouldn't want anyone I loved in a group living situation during this pandemic if I could help it, BUT committing to a program where Tammy has no ability to acquire calories not outlined in the plan, some physical therapy would do her a world of good. Tammy didn't seem to comprehend that these weight loss goals were because she GAINED the 50lbs she originally lost and then ANOTHER 50lbs. Losing 100lbs would take her back to where she was at the end of last season yes?

I dont think her brother and sister are able to be a help to her because she is so filled with jealousy and resentment they can say the "sky is blue" and she would want to fight. Amy needs to focus on continuing her weight loss and her well being so she can be the best parent/person she can be. Chris seems to really be on the right track, mentally and practically to get the weight off.

[cynicat]

They can all see that it's possible to gain 50lbs in a month yet they see it as impossible to lose that same 50lbs in a month.  

[gaPeach]

Ok did the doctor not give her a diet to follow like Dr. Now does?  It sounded like he sent Tammy home with NO plan?  So she is going to eat just once a day.  This is not going to work.  And even though she ordered a healthy mean when Amy told her they were moving, she didn't eat it.  Except for the meat and what looked like hushpuppies.  

 

[DanaMB]

The Sixteen Chapel...

[Twopper]

On 2/2/2021 at 12:42 PM, Caoimhe said:

 I think the Amy on Obesity Med last week went in for surgery only to find they didn’t have instruments long enough to reach inside her abdomen, and she seemed much smaller than Tammy.  But I doubt any of that penetrated her brain, and nothing Chris or Amy can do will change her (but she’ll certainly blame them for everything anyway).

I think I read/heard that Dr Now had extra long instruments specially made.   I would think all the bariatric surgeons would have them by now, but maybe it would be impossible even with his

@ams1001  on the 600pl forum had a link to Auntie's Advice--a woman who does parodies of that show and this show.  

 

[Scarlett45]

38 minutes ago, Twopper said:

I think I read/heard that Dr Now had extra long instruments specially made.   I would think all the bariatric surgeons would have them by now, but maybe it would be impossible even with his

He did, thats how he gained most of his wealth, with the extra long/wide instruments he patented. But even those instruments have a limit, and some people are bigger than the instruments!

 

Eta- before Dr. Now's patents, the typical limit for gastric surgery was 450lbs (of course your waist size played into that), so Amy is in the 600s, but she's also 5'1 (approximately), thats a very different abdomen size than someone who is 5'10 and 600lbs, who perhaps could use the standard size instruments if they carried their weight in their thighs/hips. When you get to the higher weights body proportions change A LOT. I am following a woman on YouTube on her weight loss journey, she has 100lbs on me but our thighs are the same size, I am pear shaped 5'7, shes an apple shaped 5'3, I am way smaller but our thighs are EXACTLY the same number of inches.

[JunkFoodTV]

Did anyone else watch the supersize episode? What the actual hell was on Tammy's face? Maybe she guzzled a giant grape sodie? Wash your ugly face before you get on camera. And is she ever happy for anyone? "Good job Chris for losing weight. I'm happy for you Amy about the pregnancy." Nope....nothing. I'll just sit here and throw my pity party and wait for everyone to do this for me. Stupid Rhino.

[goofygirl]

Yep, Tammy is a MESS...  Not sure WHAT is going to get her to wake up and smell the fat burning.  I used to think she and Amy were kinda funny but now I'm realizing that Tammy might actually eat herself TO DEATH.

I'd rather not watch that.  Thanks.

Edited February 8, 2021 by goofygirl

[Pondlass1]

I only catch bits and pieces of episodes on YouTube, but Tammy needs to be in hospital on a controlled diet to get down to the 400s. I’m not sure if you can do this, tho, against someone’s will. But what she’s doing is suicide. 
 

I guess this has been mentioned before, but those masks are something else.

[cynicat]

29 minutes ago, Pondlass1 said:

I only catch bits and pieces of episodes on YouTube, but Tammy needs to be in hospital on a controlled diet to get down to the 400s. I’m not sure if you can do this, tho, against someone’s will. But what she’s doing is suicide. 

As far as I know, unless someone corrects me, a person can't be hospitalized for weight loss alone, unless they have some kind of co-morbidity.

[crazycatlady58]

You cannot put someone in the hospital against their will. You have to have them declared incomplete which is very difficult, as it should be. Tammy is practicing self harm but she knows what she is doing. 

[snarkish]

I've watched these two from the first episode. As I continue to watch, I like Amy more and dislike Tammy more. Amy, is just a simple-minded person. Tammy seems to have a few more fries in in her Happy Meal than her sister, but she's also a hot mess of selfish and anger. What finally threw the towel in for me was her attitude when Amy announced them moving. She's such a self-centered gaslighter. But, the family seems to have created the monster that is Tammy. Everyone is afraid of upsetting her. Amy has better things to stress over right now than if the news is going to bring out the perpetual beotch in Tammy. And gaining 50 pounds in "ONE MUNT"?? That took some serious eating. She is nowhere near ready to help herself, if anyone needs Dr. Now's hospitalization with being fed only their food, it's her. She's just a semi-mobile James K. at this point. 

[PrincessPurrsALot]

5 hours ago, cynicat said:

As far as I know, unless someone corrects me, a person can't be hospitalized for weight loss alone, unless they have some kind of co-morbidity.

That is correct.  When we've seen people hospitalized it is possible because of other conditions.  Tammy is, at this point, killing herself with food.  She seems to have so many psychological issues and resentments that she needs to work through to find a place in which she can lose. 

While we find it remarkable when people gain back so much of the weight they have lost very quickly, it's not that hard to do.  Their bodies have not stabilized or adjusted to a new lower weight.  Everything is primed for them to pack on the pounds very quickly just by going back to their prior eating habits. If you start at 150 and were never much higher than that, it takes a lot of extra calories to add 50 pounds.  If you were 600, drop to 550, then go back to your old eating patterns and calorie intake, a 50 pound weight gain is more easily achieved.  Add in tat Tammy likely felt she had really sacrificed when she lost the weight (supposedly eating only one meal a day) and she easily go back to what she was doing and add more.   While we know she's not starving both her brain and her metabolism may have told her that she was because she made such a dramatic reduction in calories.  

[goofygirl]

If Tammy WANTS to commit suicide, then she is going about it the right way.  Only problem I have with it is the CAMERAS.

Stop it. I don't want to see that.  I'm REAL familiar with suicide already.