MAFS Social Media, Spoilers & Speculation

[cardigirl]

Welp, I'm pretty sad about this.  I truly enjoyed the show in its first season.  It had a sweetness about it (apart from cigarette-gate) that was engaging and fun to watch.  And the experts seemed to be giving decent advice about the challenges married couples face (and it was intensified by these couples being chosen for each other) and I truly enjoyed each episode.  I was very sad when Monet and Vaughan didn't make it.  

 

But now, 3 seasons in, I'm over it.  Not sure how or why the show turned so completely around from a sweet show to this mess.  I fast forward through a lot of the episodes, because they make me uncomfortable.  Last season I did that with Davina and Sean, and this season it was with Sam and Neil (although I really liked Neil) and with David and Ashley (and I liked David).  

 

These latest spoilers just make it clear that the show is not working.  Phooey.

[Evil Queen]

Sam touching Neil's face even though he told her he didn't like it was definitely mean and selfish. I don't know if she realized, though, that he didn't make a move on her because he wasn't into her. I think because of his attitude and personality, she might have chalked it up to him being cool and slow to show emotions. Who knows.

 

I totally agree about the gifts. I actually wondered why Tres was giving so many gifts to Vanessa. I think that might have been setting her up for some unrealistic expectations for their future relationship.

 

On one hand there's too much interference from the producers, but on the other hand, I think there isn't enough guidance from the "experts." Saying over and over again how hard it is to be married to a stranger just isn't enough. The show needs to get better experts and more knowledgeable and understanding production people on board, methinks.

 

   Agree to much producer interference and not enough from "experts". They should have changed them out with each season or at least with the location changes. The ones we have now obviously are not good at their jobs and need to go. They aren't there enough at all. Which maybe it does have to do with location on that so it should be changed on who the "experts" are and they should be local. That way they can just pop in on the couples and would know when they aren't living together and call them out for it or anything else. I know I don't see why they weren't questioning Sam when she wasn't looking at them and just bobbing her head when they spoke. I would have stopped what I was saying and asked her if she was listening. With Ashley they should have been on top of that as well and asked if she even wanted to try and bother or just be done. This is also why it seems important for them to not just be local or close enough by but also watch the footage as they film. Otherwise they have no clue what is really going on at all. They don't seem good at picking up on those clues either when talking to these people. I also agree about getting better production on board. As well as better editors too. 

 

 

Welp, I'm pretty sad about this.  I truly enjoyed the show in its first season.  It had a sweetness about it (apart from cigarette-gate) that was engaging and fun to watch.  And the experts seemed to be giving decent advice about the challenges married couples face (and it was intensified by these couples being chosen for each other) and I truly enjoyed each episode.  I was very sad when Monet and Vaughan didn't make it.  

 

But now, 3 seasons in, I'm over it.  Not sure how or why the show turned so completely around from a sweet show to this mess.  I fast forward through a lot of the episodes, because they make me uncomfortable.  Last season I did that with Davina and Sean, and this season it was with Sam and Neil (although I really liked Neil) and with David and Ashley (and I liked David).  

 

These latest spoilers just make it clear that the show is not working.  Phooey.

 

I have had to do the same at times with this season for the same reasons. For me Sam is to much like my mom and sister and it is hard to watch that and see someone put into that kind of a relationship. Even if I hadn't gone through similar, its always uncomfortable to watch someone being belittled all the time and guilt tripped. Ashley and David just were so boring since there was nothing there. It was a waste of time there for us, viewers and David. That is 6 weeks of his life he can't get back. LOL I felt like that about Davina and Sean last season too. That they were just a big waste of time. 

[Kiss my mutt]

I don't feel sorry for Sam. Would we excuse behavior like that from the man in the relationship? I can't imagine anyone saying the woman should give him a second chance after seeing his true colors and that he had changed.

[BBDi]

I Ike Neil a lot so I tend to interpret what he does in the most favorable light. I feel like he went along with Sam throughout the six week period and then when it was over, considered everything that had happened when making his decision. I do think he takes marriage seriously, and I'm guessing that he realized when Sam started acting affectionately toward him that it was just the other swing of the pendulum. Meaning that if he stayed married to her he was likely to see more of her original behavior again.

Maybe he also came to the conclusion that she is somewhat emotionally unstable. With that said, I would still be interested in hearing whether he actually started feeling more warmly toward her and seriously considered staying married to her.

[Jellybeans]

Very interesting about Sam, Neil and David. :-)

Seems if Neil had the guts to say he wanted a divorce he would stick to it. But Sam's tweets are confusing. Maybe she is continuing her mean girl act. I don't know.

Good for David for his Rhett Butler act but nah, no liking mean tweets. I understand the temptation but it it isn't classy. And that goes for all of them....

I can't get enthused about Vanessa at all. She depresses me.

[BunnySlippers]

Actually, I was thinking earlier how it would be if there was a couple on the show where the man would not be into his new wife in the beginning but warmed up to her in the end (or not). It would be interesting to see things play out that way.

[Koda1969]

Yes, she's been incredibly rude and mean. But my point is that he didn't seem to give off any vibe that he wanted a divorce. He seemed like someone who was trying to make it work. Most of us agree that Ashley was cold and didn't make any effort, no matter how much she insists that she worked so hard on her marriage to David, but at least we knew - and David should have known - that she wasn't into him at all and that she didn't want to be married to him. With her, it was no surprise that she wanted a divorce. You can say that Neil was just being nice and going through the motions, doing what the producers wanted him to do, but why does he get a pass on this while some people criticize Tres for supposedly doing the same?

 

This is just how I see it. It doesn't mean I like Sam. I don't. I just didn't like how Neil handled this, that's all.

 

I get what you are saying. But, in looking back at the episodes (especially this last one) he seemed to repeat (more often than usual) that there was a lot to think about and process. Granted, thanks to my epilepsy and medications, I can't remember what I had for breakfast..so maybe there were parts in the last episode where he implied he wanted to stay married? I guess I just took his repeatedly saying he needed to really think about things, as a way of saying he was going to really think his decision through.

 

But I do get what you are saying. I'm honestly not a huge fan of anyone this season..so most of my conjecture is just based on my thoughts and opinions from what I'm seeing.

[qtpye]

I have so much respect for Neil right now.  He is one of the rare reality show participants who is probably a truly decent person.

 

I do not think he was leading Sam on, so much as trying to give it his best.  They had to move out of the first place, mostly due to her weird issues, he had to practically beg her to leave her townhouse, and she probably only went to the third place because production made her.  He enthusiastically wanted to learn about her family and heritage, where it was obvious she could care less about his background.  Whenever he tried to express his unhappiness she would run away or throw him out of the room.  What the hell was the guy supposed to do...stay married to this psycho who could barely tolerate kissing him?

 

She thought he was a weak little geek and that she had all the power in the relationship.  For the record, I do not think she wanted Neil as much as she wanted the money and opportunities that staying married to him might bring.

 

Sam also probably is more intrigued by him now that he has rejected her...she seem like the type who only wants something when its gone.

[Babyitsmb]

since both sam and neil were a late add on this show as a replacement couple i dont think they were both prepared to stay into a marriage 

i like both sam and neil they both have different type of personalties and thats fine sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt as long as they remain friends and both find love im happy

everyone keeps saying oh i dont like how sam acted on the show we really dont know how someone acted on the show they cut and paste tape to make it something that its not we thought sam and neil were good and then neil just out of no where wanted a divorce 

[gumbo]

Even though I can't stand Sam, I am hoping they do get back together and give it a shot.

[Nffftshewasgone]

I don't blame him for wanting the divorce but I am surprised given his reaction when in the car Sam said she expected him to ask for one. He looked over at her with astonishment. Perhaps it's because of editing, but that is the one thing that makes me go, "Hmmmmm".

[Leanne]

AGREE!! That behavior of her's was horrible. She showed her true self and there was no going back on that one. I know I am happy he said divorce and not stay married. I also agree about her playing it up for the camera. She has come off a certain way to a few of us and its something those kind of people will do. They don't like what they hear so run out of a room and make sure the tears flow so hopefully a person(s) that were in the room will come after you. Saw that to many times over my childhood and early adulthood. It gets to the point you either become cold to it and realize what the person is doing or you still are being played by the guilt trips. Sounds like Pepper falls for it. The whole playing up nice at the end of the time was pathetic as well and fake. I think she was feeling him out to see where he might go with his answer at the end so she could see how she needed to play it. It would be to late in the game to start being all touchy feeling after how she has acted this whole time. She obviously didn't learn one thing from this at all like she claims either. She laid all the blame on Neil as always it sounds like. For any that say Neil should have communicated better...there was no way he could with her. She didn't want to hear him at all if it was about how he felt or what he thought. Look at how she was when he tried a few times. She either was slurping soup up not paying attention, kicking him out, or running off. She didn't want to hear it unless it was about her. He was suppose to hang on her every word when she spoke. He had has to apologize for things but yet has Sam once said sorry for anything she has done? Nope, its the way it is with her kind. Make other people have to say sorry and feel they are in the wrong. Its not a way to live at all. I hope that the junk on SM with her playing it up are just her doing it to throw people off on the show since it hasn't aired for her part yet and not another thing more. She has shown on SM how horrible she still is and that she didn't learn or change from things on the show. So I wouldn't be surprised if she is being all "oh look, I really like Neil now" and then we see him next week say I want a divorce so she has conned people on SM into feeling bad for her.

The Tres and Vanessa one is surprising that they would stay together. I do wonder if they made it or not once the cameras were gone. If they didn't how long after did it last til? I know from what is said here it could have been Dec and they were done but will be interesting to see the reunion to see how it is for them. I think that the way they had been, Neil and David when it comes to SM and such that they have all been pretty respectful unlike some from this season and past.

I 1000 percent agree with you! Your feelings and observations on Neil and Sam are so in line with what I wanted to say that now I don't even need to write my own post!

[Evil Queen]

Maybe he also came to the conclusion that she is somewhat emotionally unstable. With that said, I would still be interested in hearing whether he actually started feeling more warmly toward her and seriously considered staying married to her.

 

 

Actually, I was thinking earlier how it would be if there was a couple on the show where the man would not be into his new wife in the beginning but warmed up to her in the end (or not). It would be interesting to see things play out that way.

 

I have to say that I think with what you both said, if we saw that happen there would be some freaking out over the man in that role instead of the female. While there would be those of us that would feel the same way no matter which sex it is and just look at how they acted about it for the 6 weeks. I think if a man had been like Ashley and cold about it then he would be just as much a jerk as she was. If it was more in the lines of Sam behavior but a man then I can bet we would have heard more of an outcry about it. I'd still feel the same way that it is not ok and the person has some issue to behave that way. But it would be a change if we saw a man come into this on the side of not liking the wife right off the bat and how that would go. 

 

since both sam and neil were a late add on this show as a replacement couple i dont think they were both prepared to stay into a marriage 

i like both sam and neil they both have different type of personalties and thats fine sometimes it works and sometimes it doesnt as long as they remain friends and both find love im happy

everyone keeps saying oh i dont like how sam acted on the show we really dont know how someone acted on the show they cut and paste tape to make it something that its not we thought sam and neil were good and then neil just out of no where wanted a divorce 

 

With the editing, I don't think she was edited to look that bad. I think she really is given how she has behaved on SM as well. I think Neil is someone that came into this wanting to be married and make a go of it. He doesn't come off as the type to take divorce lightly either...as some seem to. I think he weighed all the things that went on during those 6 weeks and made his choice on what was best for him in the end. She was by far NOT the best for him. She never once said she was sorry for how she treated him. If she had she still would have made it come out as if it was his fault. I don't think him wanting the divorce was out of no where. As was pointed out from another person Sam said she expected him to. She will just put on a good show over it to try to gain pity. Its classic behavior of someone like her. But even if she hadn't said that just the way she has acted alone this whole time, she should have known wouldn't get her a husband to stay put. I doubt she wanted a man that would put her in her place ever either. She would have thrown a bigger tantrum then we have seen if someone did that to her. 

[cassabox]

For anyone that wanted to see Neil without a beard, Sam just posted on twitter Neil's private twitter handle which has a profile pic of him clean shaved

He still looks the same IMO :)

[Snarklepuss]

I think I see both sides of the Neil/Sam situation.  On the one hand I think he wasn't direct enough with her about his feelings and it set her up for a fall, but on the other hand I don't think he thought he needed to be because he was under the impression that she didn't really care.  I think he thought that he could get off easy and would not have to confront her with his lack of interest because he had her pegged as not being interested in him either.  I think it threw his plan off big time when he realized she was turning around and genuinely liking him.  I don't think he knew how to react to that because a) It was so late in the game and he had already made his decisions about her and b) he wasn't sure he could trust it or believe his eyes that it was for real.  That's why in the car he was acting so confused and keeping his distance.  He had already made up his mind about how she felt about him (and therefore how he felt about her) and suddenly she was acting in a way that didn't quite jibe with that.  I saw this starting when he told her he didn't miss her - He admitted later that he only said that because he thought she was going to say she didn't miss him - He TOTALLY misread her because he had already formed the opinion that she didn't like him and was not sensitive enough to the signs that she had changed.  I think his mind was blown in realizing that she really did miss him.

 

I can't say that I'd blame him for not wanting to continue with her because who knows when a wacko like that is going to turn on you again?  There's no reason to think she could ever be trusted.  I hope he stays friendly with her but doesn't attempt a romantic relationship with her unless he sees real signs that she has changed.  I'm all for forgiving someone who starts off on the wrong foot with someone but in her case it just seems to be coming from her narcissism and Neil deserves much better than that.  He'd always be walking on eggshells with her even if she were completely in love with him.  It's just not healthy.  Plus I too have suspicions about the sudden turnaround in her and what's motivating that.

[Lola16]

Actually, I was thinking earlier how it would be if there was a couple on the show where the man would not be into his new wife in the beginning but warmed up to her in the end (or not). It would be interesting to see things play out that way.

Isn't that Neil?  Didn't he say he wasn't attracted to Sam to one of his friends?  He certainly did not seem into her physically.

 

eta: Neil spells it with an "i".

Edited February 27, 2016 by Lola16

[Babyitsmb]

sam and neil were told they werent going to be on the show then got called back when another couple backed out so maybe they just didnt think they were going to get on yeah neil is more serious about marriage but i think the first couple weeks he made up his mind about the marriage

he was a little more respectful about it than ashley but im pretty sure they both decided early they didnt want to stay married

[ctbabe]

sam and neil were told they werent going to be on the show then got called back when another couple backed out so maybe they just didnt think they were going to get on yeah neil is more serious about marriage but i think the first couple weeks he made up his mind about the marriage

he was a little more respectful about it than ashley but im pretty sure they both decided early they didnt want to stay married

I actually don't blame him. Some of what she said (which she apologized for) were just demeaning. I don't know I am sorry could fix that.

[Kareem]

Isn't that Neal? Didn't he say he wasn't attracted to Sam to one of his friends? He certainly did not seem into her physically.

He thought she was beautiful at the wedding. Then she opened her mouth.

[Lion18]

It's weird, but I have this sort of gut feeling that Tres and Vanessa, who both decided to stay married, are not together anymore, while Sam and Neil who were destined for divorce might be romantically involved. I doubt I am right though. Just a weird feeling.

Despite whatever happened off camera between Sam and Neil, I still don't feel like Tres and Vanessa make it in the long term.

I totally agree and have the same feeling

[AussieBabe]

I can't say I blame Neil. If someone continued to disrespect me, call me a pussy, emasculate me, put me out of their home, insist that I apologise for their wrongdoings, etc., I wouldn't want to be around them. At the heart of it all, I believe he may have stopped respecting her after he realised that she didn't respect him. The constant belittling and chipping away at my confidence and self-esteem would've saw me becoming like Neil. The light wasn't in his eyes like it was during the casting and even before the wedding.

I've been around people like that, and one was a known narcissist. I remember one birthday where she bought me a handbag, and I'm not the type to brag. We were in a group video chat, and she wanted me to show off the gift. I was like no. Do you know that she cursed me out, dragged me on social media, and even spread rumours about me? My refusal to show the gift wasn't in line with what she wanted me to do, and she acted like a real bitch. I wasn't feeding her narcissistic supply, so she turned on me. I foolishly forgave her, but it became an abusive pattern. She'd do what's called love bombing. She'd make some great declaration of how great of a friend I was and how she loved our closeness. Meanwhile, 24 hours prior, she was telling people I was born a man and other crazy bullshit. Thank the Lord our friendship ended. I feel for any man who gets in a relationship with her. That's probably why none of her relationships have been successful. A narcissist will never love you. They will throw you under the bus, make you think you're wrong or crazy, and have no accountability.

I can't say Sam is a narcissist, but she'd do well to check her own awareness so to speak. Would she want someone to treat her that way? Would she want someone to tell her to leave their home and get out? I would encourage her to put herself in his shoes and gauge her reaction to each scenario. Maybe she didn't realise just how bad she was. Did she ever apologise?

Sometimes it is too late to say sorry. He may have forgiven her, but perhaps, it was not possible to give her a second chance to hurt him or treat him in a less than stellar way. I would question when or if the other side would come out again. I cannot fault him for knowing his worth and value. There's nothing wrong with that. If a man was demeaning a woman and saying things about her womanhood, calling her weak, and disrespecting her boundaries (face touching), I'd feel the same way. Know what you deserve and don't settle for anything less. It wasn't okay for Sam to behave the way she did. I have to wonder if her behaviour continued off screen and after the crew left. If so, I have no doubt that it contributed to his final decision to say divorce. After reading some of her nastiness on SM and listening to her own best friend describe her and how difficult she was on the 4th of July episode, I'm inclined to believe editing had little to do with how she came across. At any rate, I wish them both the best.

Edited February 27, 2016 by AussieBabe

[sniglet]

Tres just posted something interesting to his instagram.  It's a picture that says "Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life", along with the following caption.  "This one hit home hard. I have missed so many important moments over the past 2 years because I work so much. I can't get that time back. Work hard, but make time for the people who are most important to you, or they will never understand how much you do care."

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCQHsHunkEf/

 

I'm wondering if this is any indication of a reason for a possible split with Vanessa (speculated around December).  I think Tres is an honest and trustworthy guy, but it seems he needs a longer leash than Vanessa is capable of giving him.

[allthelight]

Tres just posted something interesting to his instagram.  It's a picture that says "Never get so busy making a living that you forget to make a life", along with the following caption.  "This one hit home hard. I have missed so many important moments over the past 2 years because I work so much. I can't get that time back. Work hard, but make time for the people who are most important to you, or they will never understand how much you do care."

 

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCQHsHunkEf/

 

I'm wondering if this is any indication of a reason for a possible split with Vanessa (speculated around December).  I think Tres is an honest and trustworthy guy, but it seems he needs a longer leash than Vanessa is capable of giving him.

 

 

I also think that they might have split some time around late December or January. Their dynamic on SM has changed totally, particularly from Vanessa's side (she's not doing any bad, but she no longer likes the comments from his dad, is rarely directly referencing him which she used to do, he isn't following her she_spark twitter handle, etc. The comment above might allude more to his family, since he once mentioned and complained that he has rarely time to fly back to his family/friends. I know that from myself - I missed so many weddings, christenings and other special moments and at times I wish I wouldn't have missed them.

 

For me, the only indication that they might (!) still be together is him mentionting and posting a pic of the love languages book. I don't think he is in a serious relationship right now since in December he was definitely still with Vanessa and I think someone like Tres wouldn't rush immediately into a new relationship. So it's probably to do with his relationship with Vanessa, and if it didn't help to save the relationship, why would he recommend it, right? :D

 

Still, I have it kinda in my gut that they are no longer together. Vanessa has never lashed out or anything, but there are enough hints for me from her to think they are no longer together.

[CindyK]

It's funny because based on SM I'd drawn the conclusion that they are very much still together. Tres is very protective of her and his family still tweets as if they are still a unit. Vanessa seems less active on SM overall, but it could be because of some of the backlash from later episodes.

[Kareem]

It's funny because based on SM I'd drawn the conclusion that they are very much still together. Tres is very protective of her and his family still tweets as if they are still a unit. Vanessa seems less active on SM overall, but it could be because of some of the backlash from later episodes.

Would be happy if this is true. I like them both.

[ChaChaSlide]

Actually, I was thinking earlier how it would be if there was a couple on the show where the man would not be into his new wife in the beginning but warmed up to her in the end (or not). It would be interesting to see things play out that way.

On the "or not" side of things, that's pretty much Vaughn. Even from the honeymoon it became apparent he didn't really like Monet, and by the end (cue the infamous "give me a threesome" dinner) it was blatantly obvious. With some men, they aren't attracted to you but can still have sex with you, if that makes sense. That's how Vaughn was with Monet, He didn't seem attracted to her enough to get to know her and fall for her, but since she was offering sex he had no issues partaking. Monet herself is not without blame, she didn't properly define what she wanted in a husband on MAFS S1, and from watching her on #BlackLove she has a tendency to move too fast and not really pay attention to a man's cues, but she wasn't nearly as standoffish and downright rude as Vaughn. I felt bad for her because up until the end it seemed like she misinterpreted his willingness to have sex with her as him liking her, as some women can be oft to do. At least with Ashley and Sam, they weren't sleeping with David and Neil and really blurring the lines for them.

[qtpye]

Actually, I was thinking earlier how it would be if there was a couple on the show where the man would not be into his new wife in the beginning but warmed up to her in the end (or not). It would be interesting to see things play out that way.

 

 

I can not believe I am admitting this, but once upon a time there was a horrible show called "Married by America".  Basically it was a blind marriage where America voted on your spouse.  The couple would have a blind engagement, then all of them would go on a retreat where they would receive the counseling and guidance of experts, and then by the end of it there was a wedding ceremony.  A couple was also kicked off each week, if they were not compatible.  By the end there were two couples and neither of them decided to go through with the wedding ceremony.  There was also a $100,000 reward if you ended up married

 

Anyway, the couples on that show were very conventionally good looking people.  There was one man who matched up to a very attractive woman (think Ashley, but much prettier and nicer).  She was very into him and it was obvious that he was not attracted to her in the least.  It was horrible to watch, as I think women, in general, are much more sensitive about their appearance then men.  She would often spend an episode in tears.

 

There was a lot of nasty talk about the guy and speculation on his sexuality, since the woman was quite attractive by most accounts.   For the record, I do not think he was gay, but that attraction is often a very mysterious thing.

 

There was also a woman who was match up with an absolutely gorgeous and charming Frenchman.  She wold not touch him with a twenty foot pole and treated him like a leper.

 

I guess this is a long winded way of saying, if the guy is repulsed by his wife (to the point that he would not even consider sleeping with her) then it is just as bad, if not worse, then the other way around.

[gunderda]

I can't blame Neil either but I have to say I am VERY shocked he chose divorce.  I posted in the episode thread that there was absolutely no way that he asked for a divorce.  He always always talking about how he respected his family's arranged marriages and how he wanted that for himself and how he knew it wouldn't be easy and would take some work. 

 

So to me I feel like he made us think he was a lot like David.  Going to stick around until the very very bitter end.  So color me very shocked when I read in here that Neil was the one that chose divorce (especially since previous reports in here stated they chose to stay married lol)

[qtpye]

Yeah, Neil choosing divorce was a nice surprise.  The editing was very smart with that we never got hardly any negative talking heads from him.  Of course, perhaps he did not say anything negative in the first place.

[BunnySlippers]

*snip

 

I guess this is a long winded way of saying, if the guy is repulsed by his wife (to the point that he would not even consider sleeping with her) then it is just as bad, if not worse, then the other way around.

Yes, I agree. Including the point that perhaps it's even more hurtful for a woman to think that they are not attractive, since society puts such a huge emphasis on how women look. I personally would feel sorry for anybody, man or woman, if that happened to them. But yes, you just can't force someone to feel attracted to another person.

 

I think what I'd really like to see, though, would be a man not being attracted initially to his bride, but then falling in love with her because of her personality. Has something like that happened on any reality show? I'm just curious.

[LynnM]

There is no accounting for chemistry, you either have it or develop it with someone or you don't. Instead of telling someone who is expressing interest that you don't find them attractive, it would be kinder to say that although they are a good looking person, you are just not feeling the chemistry.

I have a male friend whom I love like a brother. I can see that be is a handsome man but we just don't feel that kind of chemistry for each other.

[stuckin60s]

For anyone that wanted to see Neil without a beard, Sam just posted on twitter Neil's private twitter handle which has a profile pic of him clean shaved

He still looks the same IMO :)

I would love to see the picture, can you post it?

[Snarklepuss]

I'm not shocked at all that Neil chose divorce, in fact it is the best of the two possible options I saw for him.  All along I was saying that either he was the biggest masochist out there or he was just biding his time and being as non-confrontational as he could so as not to stir the ire of the monster until the 6 weeks were up.  I could not believe he was really that much of a wimp/masochist, but given the way he was acting it would have been the only other logical conclusion based on his behavior.  I am SO glad it was not that as it renews the initial faith I had in him back when he held the ball and got angry with Sam for repeatedly calling him a "pussy".  It turns out he was NOT a pussy, just playing one on TV.  Good for Neil, I hope he meets someone worthy of him next time.

[Absolutkaos]

Heres a link with a little more info in the final episode (for this who want it super spoiled!).

It also has a clip from the episode and has Sam getting pretty upset(as some already mentioned)

 

http://starcasm.net/archives/343338

Edited February 26, 2016 by Absolutkaos

[allthelight]

It's some and I don't like her particularly, but Neil's build-up is really awful and mean. And no, it's not producer driven, Tres said other than walking three times through the door they didn't get any directions for the final decision at all. It's almost like Neil was trying to give her a taste of her own medicine. If not and if he really thought this was an acceptable wording, then he needs some of his social skills checked.

[BunnySlippers]

It's some and I don't like her particularly, but Neil's build-up is really awful and mean. And no, it's not producer driven, Tres said other than walking three times through the door they didn't get any directions for the final decision at all. It's almost like Neil was trying to give her a taste of her own medicine. If not and if he really thought this was an acceptable wording, then he needs some of his social skills checked.

Aww, they took it down. I didn't get to see it - again! LOL. Looks like I have to wait till Tuesday. But if Neil phrased his decision that way, then yes, it was quite mean, especially after Sam's speech. I don't think he's forgiven her at this time. I think he's just been quietly fuming about how she treated him in the beginning and now he gave her her own medicine. I could be wrong, but to me, if he indeed said it that way, that was unnecessarily hurtful, unless he did want to hurt her.

 

I wish Sam had at least learned her lesson, but judging by the posts of a few people here who follow her on Twitter, unfortunately that doesn't seem to be the case.

[MsPH]

Heres a link with a little more info in the final episode (for this who want it super spoiled!).

It also has a clip from the episode and has Sam getting pretty upset(as some already mentioned)

 

http://starcasm.net/archives/343338

 

Thanks for that! I must say that clip made me smile. Maybe I'm a bad person, but she got what she deserved IMO.

 

Tres giving another gift to Vanessa. Who would've thought?

[Paddywagon]

Sometimes it is too late to say sorry.

Your whole post was awesome to read but this line here pretty much sums up the whole Sam/Neil debacle.

Edited February 26, 2016 by Paddywagon

[Matty]

Neil asking for a divorce makes me respect him more than I did before and I already thought he was a good guy. So as it turns out he's not Sam's doormat or whipping post. She treated him rudely from day one and he decided internally early on to just get through to the end of the six weeks without setting off a firestorm. His emotions and feelings towards Sam were shut down by her behavior. He didn't pull an "Ashley" and act cold and spiteful to Sam. He just didn't like her anymore in a romantic or "married way." Does that make sense? He was pretty pleasant but not really interested any more. She was atrocious for weeks and on decision day she expected him to agree to stay married because she had thrown him a carrot for a few days before the finale to save face on national television. Good for Neil. Buh-bye Sam.

[moonxyz]

I saw the video before it was taken down. Neil says "I'm committed to divorce". Dude, that's cold blooded. Sam is an asshole but he mustn’t descend to her level. He could have simply said that he tried to make things work despite Sam's attitude but in the end couldn't let go of being treated like shit in the beginning. The extra stuff isn't necessary.

Edited February 27, 2016 by moonxyz

[tinypeanut]

I saw the video before it was taken down. Neil says "I'm committed to divorce". Dude, that's cold blooded. Sam is an asshole but he mustn’t descend to her level. He could have simply said that he tried to make things work despite Sam's attitude but in the end couldn't let go of being treated like shit in the beginning. The extra stuff isn't necessary.

I wonder if Neil  has a problem dealing with being sensitive since many very intelligent and analytical people lack emotions.  I have a friend who is like that and he comes across as emotionally unavailable.

 

That is a strange way for Neil to tell her he wanted a divorce.

[still hoping]

Whooo.....what a shocker...or not...or? Well David and Ashley were no surprise to anyone...I don't personally hate her tho....if she was not feeling him what does the public expect?  I do wonder how the "couple who bailed" impacted them...maybe if one couple had dropped out Ashley felt more pressure to carry on at the wedding?

I don't know...

the sweaty armpits reminded me that these people are the ones getting down with it or not....I once dated a guy a few times who was super handsome and great on paper...but his hands were sweaty and clammy and he...sweated..and sweated...we went to the movies and I was sliding down in the seat with his sweaty armpit glommed on to me...eww....I do think if you get to know....and care for...a guy you can over look things..or maybe get them help discreetly for a medical condition or heck if you are in lurve you might think "Oh he is so hot and sexy sweaty for me" LOL>> well I didn't go there and neither did Ashley.

 

If Neil did dump Sam...good for him...he is better off. I have watched him shrink and diminish and fade away....saw the (oft) repeated clips of the wedding when he was standing straight and smiling, and looking pretty dapper - lately he has just gone into a shell IMHO> I do worry that the needy pushy Sam might push him into another try....?? I doubt it would last long if they did - she is simply feeling embarrassed that he dumped her

 

Vanessa and Tres....hope they are together. If the split up sleuthing is true...I wonder...if they could just date? I think they would make a great couple, they could have fun and go out together, party, but not buy a house, make babies. I think Vanessa has to take off her fairy tale blinders and have fun with Trey.

I don't know but I think it could happen - couple splits or divorces but decides to just date - might be the biggest success?

[CPA Carol]

Here is my question...if Neil did ask for a divorce then is Sam stalking him or something? She changed her Twitter picture to include him and has been tweeting as if they are together. Very odd.

[JaggedLilPill]

I agree it was very odd/poor use of wording with his "I'm committed to," but I didn't get the vibe that he was intentionally trying to hurt her? I don't know. Neil is very introverted and analytical and while I think he is a very nice, personable guy, I don't think he reads emotions all too well. Or at least, not all the time.

 

I'll probably sound nuts too for referencing this (and no offense to anyone who falls under this zodiac sign!) but Sam mentioned on twitter that Neil's a Taurus. Again, I know zodiac/horoscopes shouldn't be viewed too deeply, but I think they can give some insight into a person's personality. My father is a Taurus and he can be notoriously blunt at times, and I wouldn't be surprised if that happens to Neil as well.

 

But then again, not every person under the same sign has the same characteristics. Sam also tweeted that she's a Cancer, and I am too, and I am nothing like that! At least I hope not LOL! 

[Sowkkat]

I downloaded the episode from iTunes the day after because I wasn't able to see it Tuesday night. I was all excited and thought that the episode I saw was part 1 and that there was more. I figured that meant a quick change of heart from Neil. I thought it was just part 1, until I read the episode postings and saw that no one knew about Sam and Neil. Sam is giving nothing away on her Twitter, even though a significant portion of viewers have probably seen the whole thing by now. It's annoying, and although I'm glad to have seen all of the decisions, I would have liked to have known it was the same show that everyone else watched. I wonder why they would do that?

And yes, Sam's consistently lovey-dovey attitude towards Neil either means that he has a major change of heart by the 6 month follow-up episode, or she's more nuts than I thought. I wonder if he's skeeved out by her now.

I agree that Neil chose a really really cruel way of saying he wanted a divorce by saying he's "committed...to a divorce." It's VERY Bachelor of him. The producers on that show and scriptwriters (yes, scriptwriters) have them say "Gladys, I love...our time together...there's no other woman I would rather...have messed around with in the fantasy suite. But...when I think of my life, I picture you...leaving...with me to Pittsburgh! Will you marry me?" I think Vanessa even pulled out a "but" with Tres. I don't care what Tres said, I believe that someone coached at least Neil and influenced his use of the word committed.

Edited February 27, 2016 by Sowkkat

[Paddywagon]

.

Edited February 27, 2016 by Paddywagon

[Sowkkat]

Also, I'm sooo glad I will no longer have to see Ashley's cold dead eyes and David's bloated orange face against the oppressively white walls of their wayyy too large fancy sterile house.

[Lola16]

Sam's instagram

[Lola16]

accidentally on purpose!  She's so calculated.

[Kareem]

I agree it was very odd/poor use of wording with his "I'm committed to," but I didn't get the vibe that he was intentionally trying to hurt her? I don't know. ...

Thought this, too. Maybe he meant committed in the not going to be swayed way, or in her case, steamrolled by. Points to him for knowing himself well enough to know he didn't want to live that way. More points if he remains firm in the decision. I hope the posts re the two of them shopping at Ikea were just that, shopping together. Hope, too, that she figured out that her nastiness and accusatory nature, which come to her as easy as breathing, won't get her far. That goes for calling people the "c" word in SM as well.