S05.E06: The Text Heard 'Round the Lake House

[heatherchandler]

13 hours ago, drivethroo said:

"Just the assistant"  knows more about what's going on in every profession, but many MANY people assume if you are "just the assistant" (or a service worker) you are uneducated, dumb, lowly etc. 

This whole "dumb" assistant discussion is leaving a bad taste in my mouth.  I think all levels at a company deserve respect.  I don't know why people can crap on you if you are an assistant, but must give reverence if you are not.  I know that isn't exactly what you are saying but it is coming out in a way that makes me uncomfortable.  

I have degrees, but I am not a doctor, I am in finance.  I know a lot of doctors, most of the parents at my kids' school are doctors and I cannot imagine any of them ever saying something like, "call me doctor."  Is this an academia thing?  

 

12 hours ago, amarante said:

Seeing the manner in which she interacts, I can't imagine taking her seriously on any subject. I would seriously question any booker using her for serious political commentary in the future and if I were a student, I would probably avoid her classes.

Yeah I don't think this show is doing her any favors.  She seems to have zero self esteem.

 

[qtpye]

On 9/7/2020 at 1:16 AM, For Cereals said:

The apology was good.

If you have the means to have something catered so you can spend time with your guests, I don’t see the big deal, but I’m sure it’s not about the food...

Gizelle continues to be messy.  Baby-gate had nothing to do with Karen and she could’ve just said that the weekend would be a good opportunity for Wendy and Karen to get to know each other.

Ashley, you’ve got the baby, it’s time to move on and file for support...

 

On 9/7/2020 at 11:34 AM, MrsRafaelBarba said:

Monique does the heavy lifting in her marriage.

Plus MIL still thinks she's not good enough for Chris.

A powder keg, that will eventually blow.

 

Candiece really called her Jane the Jungle Ho...

Chile..

 

On 9/7/2020 at 11:37 AM, Sweet-tea said:

Potomac has become my favorite of the HW shows. I really enjoyed this episode. It was entertaining and funny. I didn’t feel stressed out or like I was climbing into the pit of hell watching it, which is how I feel lately watching BH or NY. 

Some of Karen’s comments in her THs cracked me up! 

I’m not sure why Candiace’s friend referred to Michael as Ashley’s “baby daddy” when he is actually her husband. I’ve never liked that term but whatever. Not believing Candiace is truly stressed over the text though. I think she still wants to take Ashley down a few notches. 

Monique seems more into the bird than her husband and children LOL. 

I still don’t like Wendy but am glad she apologized even though Ashley had to pry it out of her. 

 

I usually love Potomac and have been a big fan of Monique. However, I felt like this episode was boring as Hell.

For the first time, I think I saw Monique’s insecurity in her marriage. She wants the world to see her as independent from her husband and respect her hustle.

She really needs to just enjoy her awesome life and get off this trashy show. I would miss her though...she’s the only one with any real money.

There is also a saying that if you marry for  money...you earn every penny. I think M loves Big Chris but she seems much more stressed out after this 3rd baby.

I had a bird growing up. It was a beautiful deep yellow color with an emerald green tail. I think Monique’s deep attachment to bird is a little off. I think she puts too much pressure on herself to be perfect and it is finally getting to her.

You all are on point about Wendy’s style. So far...I have not been impressed with her.

She is an attractive woman but her styling   is not doing her any favors.

My husband went to Hopkins for undergrad. It is an amazing institution.  I do not think it was a great idea for her to go on this show.

[amarante]

26 minutes ago, heatherchandler said:

 

 

Yeah I don't think this show is doing her any favors.  She seems to have zero self esteem.

 

Yeah - that was what I was attempting to say. 

I don't think you can successfully traverse the worlds of academia/serious political thinker/commentator and appear on this kind of show.

I seriously question why should want to do this and then to make it even worse by acting like an entitled asshole.

She has revealed herself as either willing to do anything for money and or celebrity as a D-List celebrity. Most people I know wouldn't be willing to trade their dignity for this kind of exposure and it's even sadder when the person doing this like Wendy theoretically is trading her reputation for this.

[TV Diva Queen]

in regard to "call me dr"  I was "just the assistant" for the CEO (he's and MD) of a huge medical center 15,000+ employees when ever people would come into the c suite for appointments - the MD's would always say "call me Joe"  and rarely would the Ph.D's say that.  

[qtpye]

13 minutes ago, TV Diva Queen said:

in regard to "call me dr"  I was "just the assistant" for the CEO (he's and MD) of a huge medical center 15,000+ employees when ever people would come into the c suite for appointments - the MD's would always say "call me Joe"  and rarely would the Ph.D's say that.  

My brother in law is an MD and a Ph.D and he never mentions either...ever.

I do find that Ph.D’s are much more adamant about being called Dr. than the Medical Dr’s. I think it might have to do with just getting less respect in society in society when compared to the MD’s.

[lasu]

14 hours ago, drivethroo said:

"Just the assistant"  knows more about what's going on in every profession, but many MANY people assume if you are "just the assistant" (or a service worker) you are uneducated, dumb, lowly etc.  The assistant/service worker is there to "serve" you.  Many people have this attitude, even as they say they don't.  It is what it is and most people who are "just the assistant" know if they walked off the job today, the office would fall into shambles.  That's why smart people suck up to "just the assistant.

As a former "just the assistant" anyone who treats an assistant with disdain is a fool.  I was the assistant to the CEO of the company I worked for, and I was considered an executive.  Not just an executive assistant; my office, decision making powers, salary, and treatment by my coworkers was that of an executive.  No one in the company treated me like shit, but external people did far more often than I can comment on.  But you HAD to call me to talk to the CEO (unless you had his personal cell), and let me tell you, sometimes people were so fucking rude.  I think my favorite was we had a high level interviewee come in.  I came to greet him and, without even looking directly at me, he HANDED ME HIS COAT and asked if we had water.  Absolutely sir!  I sat him in the conference room, went and hung up his coat, got him a bottle of water, and brought it to him.  Then I sat down across from him and started his interview.  Yeah...this interview is literally for "just the assistant" to give her opinion to the CEO.  The CEO didn't waste time with anyone who didn't make it through a few rounds below him.  This guy was one level away from interviewing with the CEO, but he had to get through me first.  He didn't.  But I did get his coat for him on his way out.

On topic: I wonder how Wendy felt after she saw how hard Michael was pressuring Ashley to take the baby, especially if she knows this would be playing on Ashley's biggest fear, being a bad mom.

Finally, during the dinner fight, Candiace starts checking her reflection in a butter knife.  ...if that was intentionally a call back to her throwing the butter knife, I don't know what to do because that would be showing self awareness, and is low-key hilarious.  So that means it had to be just vanity, right?  Right??  RIGHT???

[sATL]

1 hour ago, heatherchandler said:

This whole "dumb" assistant discussion is leaving a bad taste in my mouth.  I think all levels at a company deserve respect.  I don't know why people can crap on you if you are an assistant, but must give reverence if you are not.  I know that isn't exactly what you are saying but it is coming out in a way that makes me uncomfortable.  

I have degrees, but I am not a doctor, I am in finance.  I know a lot of doctors, most of the parents at my kids' school are doctors and I cannot imagine any of them ever saying something like, "call me doctor."  Is this an academia thing?  

Yeah I don't think this show is doing her any favors.  She seems to have zero self esteem.

 

I was going to ask the same question.  In the school years of my offspring, several of the teachers and a couple of counselors went on to earn their doctorate - off hours/summers. Then when school began it was always a "noticeable announcement" to now call the former Mrs. Smith, to now the present Dr. Smith.

I do know a few of people who have doctorates (PhD) for reasons other than the  "title" 1- to keep the student loan payment people at bay, 2- to get promoted,  to beat out the people with Masters (which have increased)  3- to retire at a higher level., 4- bucket list item/professional student-type, 5- most people thought they had one, so they just made the rumor true, taking one class at a time. ie ministers - doesn't take long to find a Rev. Dr. on any given Sunday.

The MDs/DOs/DDS seem to keep quiet unless the topic is very close to their wheelhouse.

What political show/channel is she on? I would love to see if she can hold her own against some of the current political show hosts (I have a few favorites ). And hard-core career political interviewer like George Stephanopoulos on GMA

Edited September 8, 2020 by sATL

[Rlb8031]

On ‎9‎/‎6‎/‎2020 at 11:02 PM, drivethroo said:

Wendy's "4 Degrees" is a defense mechanism.  While she can and has weaponized it against Ashley, it's something she uses to defend herself.  I don't think she's trying to feel superior to anyone.  It's something she uses to say "I belong here."

Its also a bit of a cultural thing. Among Nigerians (and especially among educated Nigerians), the expectation is that your children are going to 1) exhibit educational excellence by 2) amassing multiple degrees. Its not an option, and kids have that drummed into their heads from the time they are nursing. Yvonne Orji talks about this in her HBO special - that having a Bachelors degree is considered to be nothing special among Nigerians. It isn't a sign of someone being educated - kind of like the way Americans view folks with just a HS diploma. Families expect their kids to be doctors, lawyers, etc. and if you aren't doing that then you are going to get a masters (or two) and a PhD. Yvonne talked about how poorly her parents reacted when she said she wanted to do comedy, and talks with a bunch of her friends about how ALL their parents were the same way when it comes to education.

So I can see Dr. Wendy thinking "no this heifer didn't try to shut me up with her degree she got out of a cereal box" and coming back on her quick fast an in a hurry. 

[sATL]

speaking of degrees - all of the women have a bachelor except Monique, right ?

[heatherchandler]

14 minutes ago, sATL said:

speaking of degrees - all of the women have a bachelor except Monique, right ?

And Wendy has FOUR degrees.  I don't know if she mentioned it on the show...

[Neurochick]

1 hour ago, Rlb8031 said:

Its also a bit of a cultural thing. Among Nigerians (and especially among educated Nigerians), the expectation is that your children are going to 1) exhibit educational excellence by 2) amassing multiple degrees. Its not an option, and kids have that drummed into their heads from the time they are nursing. Yvonne Orji talks about this in her HBO special - that having a Bachelors degree is considered to be nothing special among Nigerians. It isn't a sign of someone being educated - kind of like the way Americans view folks with just a HS diploma. Families expect their kids to be doctors, lawyers, etc. and if you aren't doing that then you are going to get a masters (or two) and a PhD. Yvonne talked about how poorly her parents reacted when she said she wanted to do comedy, and talks with a bunch of her friends about how ALL their parents were the same way when it comes to education.

So I can see Dr. Wendy thinking "no this heifer didn't try to shut me up with her degree she got out of a cereal box" and coming back on her quick fast an in a hurry. 

Maybe someone should tell Wendy that she's not in Nigeria anymore.  

[Rahul]

On 9/6/2020 at 11:23 PM, malibu said:

It was interesting that Candiace was able to receive those texts AND the photo.

My immediate thought was the texts to Candiass were sent by a producer, likely someone under the same roof sharing the wifi. 

Unfortunately Potomac seems to be going the way of the other RH cities in that drama now seems to be largely scripted. Much like the glacially unfolding Robyn-Juan saga, even Karen and Ray's emotional distance seems to be a story cooked up to avoid discussing their personal finances.

I would be more inclined to buy this most recent Michael Darby scandal if the other party had been a man but another woman? Nope, don't believe it.

[drivethroo]

3 hours ago, lasu said:

On topic: I wonder how Wendy felt after she saw how hard Michael was pressuring Ashley to take the baby, especially if she knows this would be playing on Ashley's biggest fear, being a bad mom.

I hope Ashley invests in a good nanny because

1 hour ago, sATL said:

speaking of degrees - all of the women have a bachelor except Monique, right ?

I don't think Monique or Karen have degrees (although I think both of them spent time in college).  All other cast mates have at least one:

Gizelle (Hampton University)

Candiace (Howard University)

Robyn & Ashley (University of Maryland)

Charrisse (Morgan State University ---I think)

Katie (Boston University)

Wendy (Temple/Johns Hopkins/Rutgers)

3 hours ago, sATL said:

What political show/channel is she on? I would love to see if she can hold her own against some of the current political show hosts (I have a few favorites ). And hard-core career political interviewer like George Stephanopoulos on GMA

I saw a clip of her shutting some woman all the way down on Fox News.

 

2 minutes ago, Rahul said:

even Karen and Ray's emotional distance seems to be a story cooked up to avoid discussing their personal finances.

Why do Karen and Ray need to discuss their personal finances?

4 hours ago, amarante said:

I don't think you can successfully traverse the worlds of academia/serious political thinker/commentator and appear on this kind of show.

Have you seen most political commentators? Most of them are clowns.  As long as they are entertaining they'll be alright.  Wendy is likely on Fox News to be the angry black woman who shuts the white people down and from the clips I've seen, she does that well.

[sATL]

1 hour ago, drivethroo said:

I hope Ashley invests in a good nanny because

I thought she had medical waiver from festivities...

[NYCFree]

I don’t understand why the women didn’t use WiFi to make calls. WhatsApp and others allow perfectly fine calls and texts when you have WiFi but no cell. It makes me think these women don’t travel all that much because it’s so common to use WiFi instead of cell service when traveling internationally.

I bet that Chris expected Monique to arrange the caterers. So, rather than cooking her a special dinner, she is having to arrange all the details and clean up afterwards. Monique has repeatedly said she wants to be pampered. Chris is like “buy yourself anything you want.” But Monique can’t buy Chris’ attention.

[LaurelleJ]

4 hours ago, lasu said:

As a former "just the assistant" anyone who treats an assistant with disdain is a fool.  I was the assistant to the CEO of the company I worked for, and I was considered an executive.  Not just an executive assistant; my office, decision making powers, salary, and treatment by my coworkers was that of an executive.  No one in the company treated me like shit, but external people did far more often than I can comment on.  But you HAD to call me to talk to the CEO (unless you had his personal cell), and let me tell you, sometimes people were so fucking rude.  I think my favorite was we had a high level interviewee come in.  I came to greet him and, without even looking directly at me, he HANDED ME HIS COAT and asked if we had water.  Absolutely sir!  I sat him in the conference room, went and hung up his coat, got him a bottle of water, and brought it to him.  Then I sat down across from him and started his interview.  Yeah...this interview is literally for "just the assistant" to give her opinion to the CEO.  The CEO didn't waste time with anyone who didn't make it through a few rounds below him.  This guy was one level away from interviewing with the CEO, but he had to get through me first.  He didn't.  But I did get his coat for him on his way out.

 

I hate that this happened to you. I would have loved to see the expression on his face when you started the interview. Justice. 

2 minutes ago, NYCFree said:

I don’t understand why the women didn’t use WiFi to make calls. WhatsApp and others allow perfectly fine calls and texts when you have WiFi but no cell. It makes me think these women don’t travel all that much because it’s so common to use WiFi instead of cell service when traveling internationally.

To push the captivity narrative, I'm sure. Everyone else jumped on the WiFi. They needed something to use to diss Monique, so that was easy. 

[luckyroll3]

1 hour ago, drivethroo said:

I hope Ashley invests in a good nanny because

Wow! I never thought I would see Michael father one baby with Ashley, much less two.  Ashley certainly is using all these "rumors" to her advantage.

[drivethroo]

12 minutes ago, NYCFree said:

I don’t understand why the women didn’t use WiFi to make calls. WhatsApp and others allow perfectly fine calls and texts when you have WiFi but no cell.

Monique didn't offer them the WiFi password (although the others could have asked --I think Wendy asked Monique and she gave her the password).

Monique probably didn't even think about the WiFi because her phone connected as soon as she walked through the door and she probably assumed everyone would use cellular.

14 minutes ago, NYCFree said:

I bet that Chris expected Monique to arrange the caterers. So, rather than cooking her a special dinner, she is having to arrange all the details and clean up afterwards. Monique has repeatedly said she wants to be pampered. Chris is like “buy yourself anything you want.” But Monique can’t buy Chris’ attention.

Monique has said in the past that Chris always starts up an argument with her around the time of her birthday.  She probably saw him bailing on cooking and grilling as just another way to get under her skin for her birthday.

[sATL]

29 minutes ago, drivethroo said:

Monique has said in the past that Chris always starts up an argument with her around the time of her birthday.  She probably saw him bailing on cooking and grilling as just another way to get under her skin for her birthday.

I wonder if that is when Monique notices he starts arguments - meaning she wants a peaceful birthday ( ie one day out of 365) and an argument, probably about nothing, manages to break the peace. 

Or maybe Chris is into make-up sex. Figures the better the argument, the better the after-fun and is part of the birthday present.

And just how/who either of them was going to find a career for 10 people, and hr away from a major city point, on less than 48 hours notice?  

The trip to me looked low-budget. Those pizza boxes looked like something a person would order for a high-school extracurricular group.

Edited September 8, 2020 by sATL

[Rlb8031]

5 minutes ago, drivethroo said:

I don't think you can successfully traverse the worlds of academia/serious political thinker/commentator and appear on this kind of show.

Mark Lamont Hill hosts every last Basketball Wives reunion and still manages to be taken seriously (he got dropped from CNN in 2018 for his comments at the UN - well after he became the face of those trash reunions)

[SailorGirl]

3 hours ago, heatherchandler said:

And Wendy has FOUR degrees.  I don't know if she mentioned it on the show...

wait . . . what?? She has four degrees? Who knew??? How did you discover that secret???

She must have spent hours and hours in the li-bary to get so many degrees!! 

[LaurelleJ]

1 hour ago, drivethroo said:

Monique has said in the past that Chris always starts up an argument with her around the time of her birthday.  She probably saw him bailing on cooking and grilling as just another way to get under her skin for her birthday.

This is when Robyn acknowledged that they had the pro-baller life in common and when they could have bonded. This is also when Gizelle gave good advice and sympathized with her. Too bad it couldn't last. 

[qtpye]

43 minutes ago, LaurelleJ said:

This is when Robyn acknowledged that they had the pro-baller life in common and when they could have bonded. This is also when Gizelle gave good advice and sympathized with her. Too bad it couldn't last. 

The funny thing is that Robyn still probably waits on Juan hand and foot. The difference is that a Chris has money and seems to enjoy spending time with Monique, where Juan is broke and never seems to enjoy being around Robyn.

[Bronzedog]

23 minutes ago, qtpye said:

The funny thing is that Robyn still probably waits on Juan hand and foot. The difference is that a Chris has money and seems to enjoy spending time with Monique, where Juan is broke and never seems to enjoy being around Robyn.

Juan is a barely was.

[amarante]

7 hours ago, Rlb8031 said:

Its also a bit of a cultural thing. Among Nigerians (and especially among educated Nigerians), the expectation is that your children are going to 1) exhibit educational excellence by 2) amassing multiple degrees. Its not an option, and kids have that drummed into their heads from the time they are nursing. Yvonne Orji talks about this in her HBO special - that having a Bachelors degree is considered to be nothing special among Nigerians. It isn't a sign of someone being educated - kind of like the way Americans view folks with just a HS diploma. Families expect their kids to be doctors, lawyers, etc. and if you aren't doing that then you are going to get a masters (or two) and a PhD. Yvonne talked about how poorly her parents reacted when she said she wanted to do comedy, and talks with a bunch of her friends about how ALL their parents were the same way when it comes to education.

So I can see Dr. Wendy thinking "no this heifer didn't try to shut me up with her degree she got out of a cereal box" and coming back on her quick fast an in a hurry. 

I can't speak to Nigerian culture but I was also raised in a culture in which a college degree was just the basic and the children were expected to become either doctors, lawyers or tenured professors. None of us went around stating what degrees we had unless it arose for some reason in the natural course of a conversation. And that included my cousin who had an MD degree - was a Board certified Surgeon and then got a Business Degree so that he could perform his duties as the Chief of Surgery more effectively.

So I would continue to think it's an asshole type of thing.

Edited September 9, 2020 by amarante

[lasu]

15 hours ago, LaurelleJ said:

I hate that this happened to you. I would have loved to see the expression on his face when you started the interview. Justice. 

Trust me, it wasn't a bad day.   For me, anyway.  I was polite and professional, but I also hit a little harder than I normally do when I talked about how we had a team mentality and we were all moving the same ball towards the same goal.  Getting him his coat at the end was kind of icing on the cake, not going to lie.  And honestly, this was at a start up, so even though this guy was applying for an exec level position, he was still pretty young.  I truly think he learned a valuable lesson that day that has probably helped him in his career.

And don't the Darbys know SEX is supposed to lead to babies, not sex SCANDALS??  Good gravy.

[luckyroll3]

1 hour ago, lasu said:

And don't the Darbys know SEX is supposed to lead to babies, not sex SCANDALS??  Good gravy.

I think you have that backwards. Sex scandals aren't supposed to lead to babies.... well, unless you're trying to secure a payout. 

[lasu]

49 minutes ago, luckyroll3 said:

I think you have that backwards. Sex scandals aren't supposed to lead to babies.... well, unless you're trying to secure a payout. 

No, I agree with you.  It just seems like every time Michael has sex with someone else, Ashley gets pregnant.

[Shauna]

If I'm going on a girls weekend, there shouldn't be babies involved. 

Shocked that Ashley is having another baby.  I'm not surprised she wants another, but I'm surprised Michael was on board with it.  Wonder if he is and how he really feels about it. 

[qtpye]

4 hours ago, Shauna said:

If I'm going on a girls weekend, there shouldn't be babies involved. 

Shocked that Ashley is having another baby.  I'm not surprised she wants another, but I'm surprised Michael was on board with it.  Wonder if he is and how he really feels about it. 

He barely wanted the first one.

Typical gold-digger relationship:

1. Older man wants to tomcat around with hot young wife...children are grown and about the same age as the wife.
2. Hot young wife wants to be mother
3. In Michael's case a new sex scandal arises every year
4. Every sex scandal leads to a new baby to shut hot young wife up.
5. Every baby leads to more child support should the marriage fall apart.

I think Kevin Federline was getting like 5 million a month in child support from Brittany Spears  (which he said was not enough) because he is the main care giver of their children.

4 hours ago, lasu said:

No, I agree with you.  It just seems like every time Michael has sex with someone else, Ashley gets pregnant.

Word!

[Bronzedog]

They're "buying her silence" babies.  

[Sheenieb]

I want a Happy Birthday song Verzus battle between Candiace and Luann from the NY Housewives. It wouldn't be fair, though, since Candiace can at least carry a tune.

OK, Candiace, let's not pretend that you weren't internally jumping for joy when that text message came through. 

Wendy and 4, count 'em, 4 degrees. I get that it may be a defense mechanism, but she must be subscribing to Muhammed Ali's, "it ain't bragging if it's true," school of thought. It's just pretentious AF. It's a shame that she has all of that success but she doesn't seem to enjoy it. Culturally, it's expected, but is it something that she really wanted to do?

I was disappointed that Monique's pancakes didn't win the taste test. No one wants to eat oily pancakes. I died when Monique said that Gizelle's pancakes look like her fashion choices. When Candiace came over to the guest house to tell Gizelle about the text, once again, I thought Gizelle was in her loungewear and Candiace just caught her before she got dressed to go out. But lo and behold, Gizelle showed up to the restaurant wearing the same shit. 

[Sweet-tea]

Yep, I don’t understand Gizelle’s “fashion” (used loosely) choices. She is such a beautiful woman. Imagine if she had a good stylist who could create a look that complements her beauty. 

Still laughing about Karen’s “stovepipe” legs comment. 

Edited September 11, 2020 by Sweet-tea
It’s Gizelle with a Z. I keep wanting to use S!

[geauxaway]

On 9/8/2020 at 7:15 PM, qtpye said:

The funny thing is that Robyn still probably waits on Juan hand and foot. The difference is that a Chris has money and seems to enjoy spending time with Monique, where Juan is broke and never seems to enjoy being around Robyn.

I don’t have much else to say about the episode, but I usually FF thru the opening credits and for some reason I watched them this time.  Robyn “I live with a house full of ballers, but I never get played.”  You sure about that?    I had to side eye that one big time.  She is such a door mat.

[Baltimore Betty]

On 9/9/2020 at 11:36 AM, lasu said:

No, I agree with you.  It just seems like every time Michael has sex with someone else, Ashley gets pregnant.

Ok, I will spill a little gossip, my ex husband was dating a woman who had perfect children, (that what she will tell you, just ask her), her one son got married, had a decent job, he got caught in a hotel room soliciting an undercover policewoman posing as a "lady of the evening." He was taken in to custody and spent the night in jail, his wife could not find him, worried sick, everyone was calling hospitals, friends, etc...she eventually heard from him and then packed a bag and headed to Florida to stay with her parents, she eventually came back and promptly got pregnant.  There would never be a big pay off from him, (he lost more jobs than he ever had), so instead of looking at the real situation in front of her she pretended they were good and had a baby.  

So this guy, just like Michael and his wandering ways would rather shut their spouse up by giving her a baby or two rather than actually addressing the issues...why is adding another layer to a shit sandwich the go to move?

[SailorGirl]

2 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Ok, I will spill a little gossip, my ex husband was dating a woman who had perfect children, (that what she will tell you, just ask her), her one son got married, had a decent job, he got caught in a hotel room soliciting an undercover policewoman posing as a "lady of the evening." He was taken in to custody and spent the night in jail, his wife could not find him, worried sick, everyone was calling hospitals, friends, etc...she eventually heard from him and then packed a bag and headed to Florida to stay with her parents, she eventually came back and promptly got pregnant.  There would never be a big pay off from him, (he lost more jobs than he ever had), so instead of looking at the real situation in front of her she pretended they were good and had a baby.  

So this guy, just like Michael and his wandering ways would rather shut their spouse up by giving her a baby or two rather than actually addressing the issues...why is adding another layer to a shit sandwich the go to move?

It is sad and a little disturbing how many people have babies in the thought that it will save the relationship. I know of several people who did just that. Needless to say, it didn't save the relationship because the real problem wasn't addressed and the new kid added to the distraction and stress, and now there's another kid that gets to live a screwed up life and most likely perpetuate the cycle because the parents didn't have a healthy relationship and the kid(s) never saw what a healthy relationship is supposed to be. I've actually said the phrase, on more than one occasion, "oh they're having a save-the-relationship baby. That will work out well." 

It always cracks me up when people are so surprised that a couple is divorcing after 25 years -- usually, that's pretty much when the last kid is either out of the house or well on their way to being out of the house and the parents are done pretending. 

Not even married couples -- it seems like so many times a couple is on the verge of breaking up and then all of a sudden, the woman is pregnant and isn't it wonderful and we're going to get married! Umm . . . if anyone seriously thinks its a happy coincidence, or divine intervention, or whatever, and that the woman didn't pregnant as a way to try to hold on to that relationship for whatever reason, I want whatever that person is smokin'. 

We would have a lot more healthy relationships in this world, and better-adjusted kids, if people dealt with the reality of their relationships instead of trying to maintain an illusion of what they've been programmed to think something should be.

Edited September 11, 2020 by SailorGirl

[qtpye]

4 hours ago, SailorGirl said:

It is sad and a little disturbing how many people have babies in the thought that it will save the relationship. I know of several people who did just that. Needless to say, it didn't save the relationship because the real problem wasn't addressed and the new kid added to the distraction and stress, and now there's another kid that gets to live a screwed up life and most likely perpetuate the cycle because the parents didn't have a healthy relationship and the kid(s) never saw what a healthy relationship is supposed to be. I've actually said the phrase, on more than one occasion, "oh they're having a save-the-relationship baby. That will work out well." 

It always cracks me up when people are so surprised that a couple is divorcing after 25 years -- usually, that's pretty much when the last kid is either out of the house or well on their way to being out of the house and the parents are done pretending. 

Not even married couples -- it seems like so many times a couple is on the verge of breaking up and then all of a sudden, the woman is pregnant and isn't it wonderful and we're going to get married! Umm . . . if anyone seriously thinks its a happy coincidence, or divine intervention, or whatever, and that the woman didn't pregnant as a way to try to hold on to that relationship for whatever reason, I want whatever that person is smokin'. 

We would have a lot more healthy relationships in this world, and better-adjusted kids, if people dealt with the reality of their relationships instead of trying to maintain an illusion of what they've been programmed to think something should be.

 

6 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Ok, I will spill a little gossip, my ex husband was dating a woman who had perfect children, (that what she will tell you, just ask her), her one son got married, had a decent job, he got caught in a hotel room soliciting an undercover policewoman posing as a "lady of the evening." He was taken in to custody and spent the night in jail, his wife could not find him, worried sick, everyone was calling hospitals, friends, etc...she eventually heard from him and then packed a bag and headed to Florida to stay with her parents, she eventually came back and promptly got pregnant.  There would never be a big pay off from him, (he lost more jobs than he ever had), so instead of looking at the real situation in front of her she pretended they were good and had a baby.  

So this guy, just like Michael and his wandering ways would rather shut their spouse up by giving her a baby or two rather than actually addressing the issues...why is adding another layer to a shit sandwich the go to move?

This is why I can't be happy for Ashley's announcement about having a new baby. Babies are a joy and I wish her luck, but they should not be born with jobs. Michael thinks by giving Ashley babies, that will shut her up about the cheating, and he can both do what he wants and not have to participate in raising "her" babies.

Ashley thinks the babies will give her the joy of motherhood and the financial security of future child support.

The truth is that new motherhood is very scary and raising two babies by yourself can be very isolating. She is rich enough to have nannies but it will still be tough.

Michael can not just hand off the care of his babies because he originally did not want them. He still has a responsibility to be there for them.

[eleanorofaquitaine]

I think that there is definitely something wrong with Ashley and Michael's marriage - I think he's controlling and has way too much power in their relationship. But I guess I'm not sure why he would be "giving her babies" to "prevent scandal"?  I mean, it's not like he's a politician, so who the hell cares if he is stepping out on Ashley? 

Obviously, assaulting a member of production WAS a real scandal but I'm not sure how Ashley staying with him actually helped him to weather that scandal?  

I get that people think he's rewarding her for standing by him by having babies with her, after spending so much time saying he didn't want that. But I am just not sure how having her stay actually helps him? Again, he's not someone whose business requires him to have some kind of 1950s-style marriage and family image. Plus having additional kids means he is on the hook financially for her and those kids for a long while.  So IMO I think that there is something more there than that these kids are a reward for Ashley.  I think that Michael is the kind of person who likes to have his cake and eat it, too. He wants both the single and married lifestyle. 

[qtpye]

5 minutes ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

I think that there is definitely something wrong with Ashley and Michael's marriage - I think he's controlling and has way too much power in their relationship. But I guess I'm not sure why he would be "giving her babies" to "prevent scandal"?  I mean, it's not like he's a politician, so who the hell cares if he is stepping out on Ashley? 

Obviously, assaulting a member of production WAS a real scandal but I'm not sure how Ashley staying with him actually helped him to weather that scandal?  

I get that people think he's rewarding her for standing by him by having babies with her, after spending so much time saying he didn't want that. But I am just not sure how having her stay actually helps him? Again, he's not someone whose business requires him to have some kind of 1950s-style marriage and family image. Plus having additional kids means he is on the hook financially for her and those kids for a long while.  So IMO I think that there is something more there than that these kids are a reward for Ashley.  I think that Michael is the kind of person who likes to have his cake and eat it, too. He wants both the single and married lifestyle. 

It’s not the scandal so much as he wants her to stay as his wife. She is no longer broke...she gets paid for the he show and probably could make a good living on social media being a z list celebrity. She’s not totally financially dependent on him.

Michael did marry Ashley to be his arm candy. I think he does want to spend the rest of his days with her. He does want her to be his wife but on his terms, which probably includes stepping out with some random guys once in awhile.

[eleanorofaquitaine]

2 hours ago, qtpye said:

It’s not the scandal so much as he wants her to stay as his wife. She is no longer broke...she gets paid for the he show and probably could make a good living on social media being a z list celebrity. She’s not totally financially dependent on him.

Michael did marry Ashley to be his arm candy. I think he does want to spend the rest of his days with her. He does want her to be his wife but on his terms, which probably includes stepping out with some random guys once in awhile.

I think we're saying the same thing in different ways. I agree with her that he does want to stay married to her and I completely agree he just wants her their marriage on his terms. So I think that is why he has now consented to a second child. I just don't think it is about covering up for scandal. (So basically I agree with what you are saying here).

[qtpye]

2 hours ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

I think we're saying the same thing in different ways. I agree with her that he does want to stay married to her and I completely agree he just wants her their marriage on his terms. So I think that is why he has now consented to a second child. I just don't think it is about covering up for scandal. (So basically I agree with what you are saying here).

I agree...we are basically saying the same thing. It is a weird situation because the way that Michael behaves, you would think he would have no love or respect for Ashley at all. However, it seems he does want to keep her with him....for his own needs, that we might never understand (or care to).

[DeeplyShallow]

On 9/7/2020 at 7:40 PM, Axie said:

I go to the dog park regularly and as a result I spend a couple of hours a day with the same people.  Believe it or not, people are very scheduled about it and the same people are there at the same time every day.  Anyway, over the weekend I was talking to the same oriental woman I’ve talked to almost daily for 2 years.  I mention that she is oriental only because she is also a minority.  She was tired and she said she was at work late the night before and since she never mentioned working before I asked what she did.  Turns out she is a medical doctor and works the night shift in a hospital emergency room.  2 years of almost daily conversation and I had no idea she’s a medical doctor!  Take note, Wendy.  

 

 

Is this post for real?

[Sweet-tea]

On 9/11/2020 at 10:57 AM, SailorGirl said:

t always cracks me up when people are so surprised that a couple is divorcing after 25 years -- usually, that's pretty much when the last kid is either out of the house or well on their way to being out of the house and the parents are done pretending. 

I’ve had several friends whose marriages hit the rocks after the last kid left. It was especially hard on the woman. They struggled with empty nest syndrome and felt lonely and not needed. The husbands didn’t know what to do. Some of these couples ended up getting divorced. A few are still together but it’s up and down. 

 I also read somewhere that this can be an especially vulnerable time for a marriage, because the couple have to find a way to reconnect as a couple and not just as parents. I guess some of them don’t make it. 

I’m not sure it’s pretending as much as just not having much in common anymore because they spent so many years focused on the children. 

Karen and Ray were older when they married and it wasn’t a first marriage for them. Maybe they’ll survive. I believe they are still married. 

[FozzyBear]

On 9/12/2020 at 2:24 PM, eleanorofaquitaine said:

I think that there is definitely something wrong with Ashley and Michael's marriage - I think he's controlling and has way too much power in their relationship. But I guess I'm not sure why he would be "giving her babies" to "prevent scandal"?  I mean, it's not like he's a politician, so who the hell cares if he is stepping out on Ashley? 

Obviously, assaulting a member of production WAS a real scandal but I'm not sure how Ashley staying with him actually helped him to weather that scandal?  

I get that people think he's rewarding her for standing by him by having babies with her, after spending so much time saying he didn't want that. But I am just not sure how having her stay actually helps him? Again, he's not someone whose business requires him to have some kind of 1950s-style marriage and family image. Plus having additional kids means he is on the hook financially for her and those kids for a long while.  So IMO I think that there is something more there than that these kids are a reward for Ashley.  I think that Michael is the kind of person who likes to have his cake and eat it, too. He wants both the single and married lifestyle. 

I don’t quite get it either. I do think Ashley was gold digging but she waited until after she had money from the show to have a baby.  I could buy that she just wanted a baby. But two? With Michael? And what does Michael want? I don’t quite get their marriage. On the one hand I think it is as simple as two shallow, terrible people finding each other. On the other hand I think maybe it’s not that simple. He’s putting up with two kids he doesn’t seem to want and and extra media attention pointed at some rather suspicious behavior. She seems to be putting up with constant public humiliation from a husband who I suspect doesn’t have that much money or isn’t keen on giving her much (she seems to need her Bravo check). Their version of a Marriage of Convenience doesn’t actually seem all that convenient.

[RealReality]

On 9/8/2020 at 7:24 AM, TexasGal said:

I'm an attorney (alas, only 2 degrees), and in my first years of practice at a large-ish law firm was usually the only woman in the room during negotiations, settlement meetings etc.  More times than I can count I was asked, even by my firm's more senior people, where the coffee/food/soda/etc was.  I would try to justify it to myself that it was because I was the baby lawyer in the room but it would always tick me off that they just expected that part of my job was to keep track of the non-legal stuff because "that's what women do."

Yes, but you can also demand to be called a doctor!  Exciting!

[RealReality]

6 hours ago, FozzyBear said:

I don’t quite get it either. I do think Ashley was gold digging but she waited until after she had money from the show to have a baby.  I could buy that she just wanted a baby. But two? With Michael? And what does Michael want? I don’t quite get their marriage. On the one hand I think it is as simple as two shallow, terrible people finding each other. On the other hand I think maybe it’s not that simple. He’s putting up with two kids he doesn’t seem to want and and extra media attention pointed at some rather suspicious behavior. She seems to be putting up with constant public humiliation from a husband who I suspect doesn’t have that much money or isn’t keen on giving her much (she seems to need her Bravo check). Their version of a Marriage of Convenience doesn’t actually seem all that convenient.

Ever since Michael threw Ashley a birthday party with a cash bar, I've been highly suspicious of his alleged wealth.  

Its those small things that do it for me.  His displays of wealth all seem very big and ostentatious.  At the same party where is he making guests buy their own drinks, he gave Ashley a Porsche, to a ton of fanfare.  Its like an episode of American Greed where the con artist makes sure to have over the top luxury cars, but they always make their victims pay for lunch.  

That Porsche could be leased through a trust, right?  Is Ashleys name on that car or is she just driving it around until Michael gets tired of paying for it?

His willingness to be a on a reality show is also suspicious.  With Chris S. and Juan Dixon, I get it.  Juan and Robyn clearly needed the money.  Chris S. has money, but may have being on the show to get publicity for Monique's new business ventures.  Chris and Monique also have a pretty solid marriage and so he hasn't been pulled into much drama.   And obviously Karen just told Ray they were going to be on the show and that was that

But why they hell would Michael...serial butt grabber, genuine creepy guy, all around weirdo and man who says incriminating shit while drunk agree to be on this show if it wasn't absolutely necessary? 

Sometimes, I think he is an attention whore, because showing up on an all girls trip just reeks of someone who is attention hungry.  Or maybe he really wanted to grab butts, because, as it later came out, it seems like he had easy, compliant victims with the production and camera crew.  He knew that the production and camera crew wouldn't haul off and punch him in the face if he grabbed their butts, and on the street, you can get in real trouble grabbing strange butts, male or female.  

But other times, I think he has to be desperate to keep Ashley on this show because he doesn't have as much money as he'd like the world to believe.  OR, he wants to keep her on this show in an effort to pay her less in a divorce.  

[qtpye]

3 hours ago, RealReality said:

Ever since Michael threw Ashley a birthday party with a cash bar, I've been highly suspicious of his alleged wealth.  

Its those small things that do it for me.  His displays of wealth all seem very big and ostentatious.  At the same party where is he making guests buy their own drinks, he gave Ashley a Porsche, to a ton of fanfare.  Its like an episode of American Greed where the con artist makes sure to have over the top luxury cars, but they always make their victims pay for lunch.  

That Porsche could be leased through a trust, right?  Is Ashleys name on that car or is she just driving it around until Michael gets tired of paying for it?

His willingness to be a on a reality show is also suspicious.  With Chris S. and Juan Dixon, I get it.  Juan and Robyn clearly needed the money.  Chris S. has money, but may have being on the show to get publicity for Monique's new business ventures.  Chris and Monique also have a pretty solid marriage and so he hasn't been pulled into much drama.   And obviously Karen just told Ray they were going to be on the show and that was that

But why they hell would Michael...serial butt grabber, genuine creepy guy, all around weirdo and man who says incriminating shit while drunk agree to be on this show if it wasn't absolutely necessary? 

Sometimes, I think he is an attention whore, because showing up on an all girls trip just reeks of someone who is attention hungry.  Or maybe he really wanted to grab butts, because, as it later came out, it seems like he had easy, compliant victims with the production and camera crew.  He knew that the production and camera crew wouldn't haul off and punch him in the face if he grabbed their butts, and on the street, you can get in real trouble grabbing strange butts, male or female.  

But other times, I think he has to be desperate to keep Ashley on this show because he doesn't have as much money as he'd like the world to believe.  OR, he wants to keep her on this show in an effort to pay her less in a divorce.  

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/is-rhop-the-least-wealthy-housewives-cast.html/

This lists him at $20 million but the whole article seems like bullshit to me. They say Ray is worth $40 million but how can that be if Karen had to bail him out of his tax issues and they seem unable to afford to buy a home in Potomac?

To me this this is just the press release version of their wealth and not the real numbers. Tammy from one of the early seasons of the RHOC thought her daughters were going to be set for life, because of her ex husband, who was a much older wealthy man. It turned out they were left nothing in the will (her daughters were not minors), so you never know.

Also, I am a little sick of the Darbys and would not mind if Ashley was not around for the next season. She should be plenty busy with her two small children.

 

Edited September 25, 2020 by qtpye

[RealReality]

2 hours ago, qtpye said:

https://www.cheatsheet.com/entertainment/is-rhop-the-least-wealthy-housewives-cast.html/

This lists him at $20 million but the whole article seems like bullshit to me. They say Ray is worth $40 million but how can that be if Karen had to bail him out of his tax issues and they seem unable to afford to buy a home in Potomac?

To me their this is just the press release version of their wealth and not the real numbers. Tammy from one of the early seasons of the RHOC thought her daughters were going to be set for life, because of her ex husband, who was a much older wealthy man. It turned out they were left nothing in the will (her daughters were not minors), so you never know.

Also, I am a little sick of the Darbys and would not mind if Ashley was not around for the next season. She should be plenty busy with her two small children.

 

I agree that that article reads like fiction.  After the Kylie Jenner debacle, where a reputable publication like Forbes was fooled, I'm not so sure about published wealth.

And this list makes no damn sense. 

Candace is worth 4.5 million?  From where, from who?  Her mother?  Dorothy obviously has some coin, but she is a social worker, so unless she invested incredibly wisely and got in early on some Facebook stock, I don't think she has amassed enough wealth for Candace to be worth 4.5 million.  Unless Candace wants to allege she has sold that much in brazilian weave bundles, which I also don't believe.  

They try to explain Candace's wealth in part by pointing to an internship with Obama, but how much are white house interns making, because I kinda assumed it was nothing.  It seems like the sort of thing people do to boost a resume for graduate school.

How the hell is Ashley, independently worth 5 million, but she said last season that she couldn't support herself without Michael s money?  Like what the huh?  With 5 million, she could have bought her mom a little starter home cash money without any intervention from Michael.  

I'd be interested in how they calculated Michael's net worth, because I think real estate is a very volatile industry.  Is HE worth 20 million or does his company have land holdings valued at 20 million?  And if so, valued when and by who?  I totally agree with everyone who says that rich people can be thrifty.  With such a person, THAT might explain a rich person having a cash bar at a party.  But I don't think a thrifty rich person is buying a brand new Boxster for their trophy wife either.  

No tea, no shade, but Monique, independently is not worth 4 million.  I don't know if they are splitting the Samuel's wealth in half, but the Samuels paid 4.75 million for ONE home and they have FIVE homes, so their wealth would be greater than 4 million if they are saying that the Samuel's net worth is Monique's net worth.  

I believe the net worth for Raymond comes from the sale of a company many, many moons ago for 60 million dollars....which is incredibly impressive.  However, it sounds like he purchased another company that had pre-existing tax issues.  I think you can still be rich and owe taxes....not to put too fine a point on it, but our president, who is allegedly a super duper bigly billionaire is being audited by the IRS and has declared bankruptcy like seven times.  It happens.  

I think Karen probably has money, but her net worth may also be based on old numbers.  She mentioned that she sold her company, a staffing agency, and that company may have been sold for 10 million.  

I've never understood the source of Gizelle's wealth, so who knows?

Juan and Robyn's net worth may be accurate, mostly because I don't think they have ever tried to put on airs that they are rich so I don't think they would go out of their way to report an inflated net worth.  

[ButterQueen]

On 9/7/2020 at 11:34 AM, MrsRafaelBarba said:

Monique does the heavy lifting in her marriage.

Plus MIL still thinks she's not good enough for Chris.

A powder keg, that will eventually blow.

 

Candiece really called her Jane the Jungle Ho...

Chile..

I love Chris.  He played very successfully  for my beloved Washington team and was outstanding.  I thought offering to cater was a nice gesture.  It’s time for him to chill.  I love Monique but she’s treated like a princess and still complains.

The cell issue was bogus.