S11.E06: I See Red Flags

[Boo Boo]

Just now, Retired at last said:

Just finished watching the show and it seems to me that Brett is the one who needs to run. When he finally gave Olivia the reason for his attitude and hurt feelings, she just shut him down with the totally unnecessary, "just put your big boy pants on and do what is expected." She totally blew off what he was feeling and sounded more like a mother than a partner. So, he, it appears, is done. And to me, she totally inflexible and just wants to fit him into her already established patterns, without compromising to fit into his.

I still feel so bad for Miles. Karen is giving him nothing, except an occasional cheek kiss. He is being patient and respectful and she is going to lose him if she doesn't get over herself.

YES, I forgot about that "big boy pants on."  

I sincerely hope that the next time she runs off to the bathroom he tells her she needs to put on her big girl pants.  

[Jeanne222]

Something I think about.  Brett has no shoulders???

[KateHearts]

3 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Here's the thing though.  What if you get married to someone and that person contracts a serious illness, mental or otherwise.  Do you bail? 

I realize that he knew before getting matched, but sometimes people don't know.  What then?

I think that makes more clear the difference between the MAFS scenario and the "typical" marriage. By the time most of us married our spouses, we'd spent enough time with them to be cognizant of their flaws and weaknesses- physical, emotional, spiritual, historical.  And at some point we decided that, despite these flaws and weaknesses, we loved that person enough to want to spend our lives with them, "for better or for worse." We all know the future is unknown; I think that our spouse being stricken with a physical or mental illness is a possibility and we accept the fact that it might change our lives and circumstances drastically, even to the point where we have to abandon our dreams or change our lifestyle. And we're okay with that, because we love that person and would want to care for them in that event.

In this situation, it's really up to the experts to figure out what the hard stops are for the contestants (and I don't think they are very good at it). Someone like Katie last season with a chronic medical condition needs a partner who is understanding, open to the possibility that they may need to learn to manage the illness, and adapt. And that could be asked before they are matched. I think that certain conditions would be deal breakers for some; not knowing the prospective partner means you have no idea how they might manage their illness, or how much they may need to rely on you, or what other resources they may have.

Very different scenarios.

3 hours ago, Cammi said:

Is my math worse than everyone else? Am I missing something? A 7 is above average to me. A 6 would've made me cringe slightly, but a 7 is pretty solid imo

Considering they are a mere 6 days into this thing, shows that Brett's ego has come out of hiding. He must have really figured he was putting on a "10" performance.

[KateHearts]

2 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

I don't think Olivia is authentic, for one.  She was cat lady homebody until the honeymoon.  She may make more than him but she's far from rich.   People can drink expensive wine and travel on an IT salary.  His salary doesn't prevent him from traveling and drinking expensive wine.  For her to act as though HE can't afford that is fucking obnoxious.  Make no mistake about it:  she's not worrying about him paying the bills, she's basically saying he can't afford to do the things she can.  That's bullshit.

See, I didn't hear it the same way. To me, she was saying she likes to spend her money on herself, and when he said he preferred to save, she quickly got put off because these are two totally different views on money. But instead of just saying, "I guess I'm more of a spender and you are a saver," she had to add, "I like expensive wine and I eat out a lot." She could have been feeling him out or she could have been saying that those would continue to be a priority for her and how she spends her money- but it came off like a snobby brag. 

I noticed that she was quick to put on a grumpy face if he said something she didn't like. For example when he said he liked cheap wine. She got that stanky face really fast.

[Ilovepie]

Oh one more thing - the dreaded 7 rating - clearly Olivia didn't watch the Dallas season. Never a 7!!!! Brett should call Amber to commiserate.........

[LaLaLaLa]

32 minutes ago, Boo Boo said:

Contrary to the poster who asked me if I shared the same DNA with Brett and/or his cat, I hated him the first couple of episodes. I totally thought he wanted a supermodel despite that he's not all that great looking and that he played up the fuckboy stuff too much. I totally thought he acted like an ass at the bachelor party and also thought if he was actively dating, he shouldn't be MAFS.

That said, I appreciate the fact that he has *some* personality.  Does Olivia even have a sense of humor?  She's got that soft, baby doll voice, but where is this supposedly fun-loving person?  She wasn't even fun-loving on the monkey bars -- just extremely competitive about winning like she's had to prove that she actually works out.

Right? I find it hard to believe she has this massive social circle. She is such a bore. If she truly has a large group of active friends, they must be as boring as her to keep her around. Her lack of personality and sense of humor would lower the enthusiasm of any group of friends. Why keep her around? And, further more, why did she want to get married? She doesn't seem like she wants a relationship. Maybe in her mind but not in reality.

[Haute Messe]

17 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I do not like Karen’s insinuation that Miles having depression makes him less masculine. I commend Miles for talking about it on camera. He’s right that there’s a stigma in the Black community, especially among Black men, against dealing with mental health and emotion and maybe him being open will help someone else who needs it.

I hope that Karen is not spooked by Miles' disclosure of his depression. I am not sure if it was a great idea to come out with it this soon, but I am annoyed with her for thinking that it is not a masculine trait. It is a chemical imbalance in his brain, and he is being treated. It makes me sad how little awareness and acceptance there is around mental illness in this day and age. Maybe she thinks assholes who have babies with a side piece while they are in a relationship with her are more masculine. 

16 hours ago, Myrtle Urkele said:

I think it's a good call to maybe wait until the honeymoon was over too, but it can be a lot to take in. That being said, I don't think Karen is a good judge of character or good communicator. Her equating masculinity with mental health shows immaturity ignorance on her part

FIFY

I can't think of a word to describe Christina. But we better get her name right, or she will bite your head off! I don't know why the producers were interfering in that scene, but they are breaking the fourth wall a lot on this show lately! I can understand her getting a little impatient with Henry - he is giving her very little to work with, however, he does seem to be willing and is coming out of his shell. LOL when she fell off the paddleboard and he said he almost became a widow! I don't think it was any of her business to pull Olivia aside and dis Brett. If she actually had witnessed him doing something horrific, that would be a different story. She should mind her own business and focus on the red flags in her own relationship.

Olivia seems to be badgering Brett and I don't like it. Give him a little bit of space, dammit. If he doesn't want to talk about their intimacy and rate his marriage on a scale among the others, that is his prerogative, ChristinA! He seems to have lost his sense of humour and it looks like he is clearly becoming uncomfortable with the filming process and I hope this doesn't turn into a Taylor and Brandon situation. I also think he must be somewhat intimidated by the difference in their employment income. I had to look up what an Irish goodbye is - makes sense! And if he was truly going to toss his cookies, that explains some of his dickish behaviour at the bachelor party if he was that drunk. I know I have done some mortifying things when I have been hammered. I am actually starting to warm a little to this bloke! And Olivia's intensity is annoying.

I hope that Woody wasn't just playing Amani to get into her chastity belt. I have had that happen before where a guy does and says all the right things and as soon as they get you into bed, it's a different story. He still gives me fuckboi vibes.

Amelia and Bennett are coming across as two 10 year old besties, having a sleepover in a fort. I just can't with all the quirkiness, and I don't remember seeing any signs of physical affection between them.

[Boo Boo]

33 minutes ago, KateHearts said:

See, I didn't hear it the same way. To me, she was saying she likes to spend her money on herself, and when he said he preferred to save, she quickly got put off because these are two totally different views on money. But instead of just saying, "I guess I'm more of a spender and you are a saver," she had to add, "I like expensive wine and I eat out a lotd have been feeling him out or she could have been saying that those would continue to be a priority for her and how she spends her money- but it came off like a snobby brag. 

I noticed that she was quick to put on a grumpy face if he said something she didn't like. For example when he said he liked cheap wine. She got that stanky face really fast.

In the context of her blurting out "How much money do you make" to me, the inference was, "I make this, you make that and this is a problem b/c I like the finer things in life, like travel, expensive wines."   She also mentioned what she asked from the experts.  So to me, she was not happy about what he made since she specifically mentioned what she asked of the producers.  

At the end of the convo, they talked about spending habits and that involved a lot of eye rolling to the side when he said he likes cheap wine, and building wealth.  

I think she was exacerbated by his joking around, but I think he was generally embarrassed and was joking his way out of that.

If she asked the producers that her husband make the close to, the same, more and they didn't I get being frustrated if she thinks his income affects her lifestyle, but seemingly she's seen episodes of MAFS before signing up so she should have been prepared that her wants and desires are going to be sacrificed for ratings.

 

Edited August 20, 2020 by Boo Boo

[JapMo]

1 hour ago, LaLaLaLa said:

Either way, I look forward to the end of Olivia & Brett. He may have his faults (and may be faking a lot for the cameras), but I don't care for Olivia. I don't see any positives from her except a stable, well paying job...plus she is not attractive.

I don't think she's unattractive.  She has pretty hair, beautiful complexion, pretty eyes and smile.  I would say she's OK looking.  Now that's what she has no control over.  However, how she puts herself together?  She's got "dowdy" running all through her.

[Boo Boo]

1 minute ago, JapMo said:

I don't think she's unattractive.  She has pretty hair, beautiful complexion, pretty eyes and smile.  I would say she's OK looking.  Now that's what she has no control over.  However, how she puts herself together?  She's got "dowdy" running all through her.

Her eyes are beautiful.  But you're right about "dowdy."  She really does have that matronly look.  

[StarryNight]

Henry is a nice guy, but I really, REALLY think he is on the Autism Spectrum. Someone very close to me is on the spectrum (Aspergers) and he wasn't diagnosed until he was 50, which is not unusual at all. Henry is JUST like him. JUST like him. It's not a bad thing, and it doesn't make him a bad guy. But it does make building a relationship difficult, especially in a situation like this which is pretty much the epitome of rushing into it. 

[Boo Boo]

I'm doing the rewatch of this and I'm so baffled by Oliva.  She facetimes her BFF almost every day. She calls her mom every day.  She said she hangs out with Heather and Joe (whomever this is).  He asks how often she hangs out with them.  "like Every day."  

I thought this Nurse Practioner was so busy.  How do you spend that much time with Heather and Joe?  I thought she was so busy she comes home, showers, goes to bed.  And then she works a lot at night?

 

 

[Adeejay]

4 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

So how much does Brett earn? 30, 40, 50K? How much does Olivia earn? 90, 120, 150K? Inquiring minds want to know. 

If Olivia makes 2.5 times more than Brett, I am guessing that he makes $40K and she makes $90K.  Olivia said that she would be okay with a man who made less than her, but 2.5 less is a lot.  

[Boo Boo]

8 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

If Olivia makes 2.5 times more than Brett, I am guessing that he makes $40K and she makes $90K.  Olivia said that she would be okay with a man who made less than her, but 2.5 less is a lot.  

That's definitely a huge difference.

That said, it's possible he has some amazing benefits.  Good health insurance and retirement package could make up for that income loss.  

I'm surprised he makes that much less than she does though.  I mean, in some IT specialties, he could earn a lot more than her.

[JapMo]

9 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

If Olivia makes 2.5 times more than Brett, I am guessing that he makes $40K and she makes $90K.  Olivia said that she would be okay with a man who made less than her, but 2.5 less is a lot.  

Is New Orleans a lower paying area than the rest of the country?  Does anybody know?  Because $40k sounds pretty low, IMO.   As someone who's worked in staffing and recruiting, I'd say if he's a programmer he should be making a MINIMUM of $60,000.  I just zeroed in on "Programmer".  I don't believe Brett actually identified his exact position in IT.

[CSunshine76]

27 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

If Olivia makes 2.5 times more than Brett, I am guessing that he makes $40K and she makes $90K.  Olivia said that she would be okay with a man who made less than her, but 2.5 less is a lot.  

If he makes 40 and she makes 2.5 more, she makes 100k.  To me, that’s a big difference.  I make a little more than that, I’d have to think twice about someone who made that much less than me. Of course, I don’t remember how young they are, so he may have potential to get there, I’d honesty want to know his career path.  In my 40s, if the guy was also in his 40s, I’d probably not like it honestly.
(And $100k for a single person in Louisiana does allow for a nice lifestyle)

[configdotsys]

14 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Brett heard the 7 and got butt hurt since he has been on his best behavior...listening, eye contact, good manners.

I could almost hear him thinking, "Wait a minute, I've been killing myself here to not look like the tool that I am and you only give me a 7?

4 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

So how much does Brett earn? 30, 40, 50K? How much does Olivia earn? 90, 120, 150K? Inquiring minds want to know. 

I swear before the marriage Olivia said she worked long hours, came home, exercised on her sad little stationary bike and didn't do much of anything else. It didn't sound like she goes out much. She also had a small apt. for such a successful high earning person that likes the finer things in life. Am I mistaking her for one of the others? 

If she is nurse working tons of hours, she probably does not do much at home but sleep and hang with the cat. Maybe she is the type that thinks there's no sense in dropping the cash on huge digs and tons of amenities you'll never really use because you are working

4 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

That's exactly right. The first episode, Olivia made it sound she was basically a cat lady homebody looking for the same thing.  Suddenly she's this glamorous world traveler that can't drink $20  bottle of wines.  Like I said in the last episode post, I don't feel like we're seeing her authentic self.  I feel like she got the impression that Brett wasn't into her so now she's playing that role of I demand luxury because I'm just such a high earner and sooooo adventurous.

This episode completely changed my view of Olivia. She seemed very snobby this week and made a face when Brett did not show the same love for the fancy fancy things. 

4 hours ago, Cammi said:

I don't get why everyone is saying a "7" is low? It is out of 10 correct? So a 10 is an A+, 9=A, 8=A- or maybe B, and a 7 would be a B. Low to me would be a 5 or less. If someone rated another a 7 on a looks scale, I would think they're above average looking... 

Is my math worse than everyone else? Am I missing something? A 7 is above average to me. A 6 would've made me cringe slightly, but a 7 is pretty solid imo

I'm a teacher. A 7 to me is like getting a 70 on a test. Not something I'd be proud of. 

4 hours ago, Soup333 said:

I would say I'm surprised at the vitriol surrounding Olivia but I'm really not. She basically said she works hard for her money and likes to enjoy it. So what? She works a lot and wants to treat herself to nice things. How is that wrong? Brett is cool with his 8-4 and drinking cheap wine with his cat by his side. Okay? They differ in this area and it's a big deal for her. This doesn't make her a bitch. At all. 

To me, it wasn't about the enjoyment of the money, it was her reaction to his differing viewpoint about it accompanied by the faces she was making. 

Other random thoughts:

I like Karen even less now. Miles telling her about his depression elicited nothing from her other than "woe is me" type vibes. She tried to be nice in what she said to him, but it sounded very generic. Miles said something to her about wanting to tell her because he feels close to her and can tell her things and whatever. I'm wondering where he got that impression since she's been very detached and aloof since this all started. Usually, one would want to share such information once they trusted that it would be met with a sympathetic ear. I just don't get how Miles would think that of Karen at this point.

My view of Olivia changed a lot this week. She does appear very rigid and regimented and wants what she wants. If she was never really in a serious relationship (I don't remember if she was or not) then it's difficult to share your space and time every day with someone else. You're so used to having your own way that it's difficult to absorb someone else's views and do things differently than you did when alone. Hence the faces at the cheap wine.

 

[Boo Boo]

5 minutes ago, JapMo said:

Is New Orleans a lower paying area than the rest of the country?  Does anybody know?  Because $40k sounds pretty low, IMO.   As someone who's worked in staffing and recruiting, I'd say if he's a programmer he should be making a MINIMUM of $60,000.  I just zeroed in on "Programmer".  I don't believe Brett actually identified his exact position in IT.

Seems more likely that Olivia inflated her income than he makes $40K as an IT professional.

[DrewPaul2010]

1 hour ago, Boo Boo said:

YES, I forgot about that "big boy pants on."  

I sincerely hope that the next time she runs off to the bathroom he tells her she needs to put on her big girl pants.  

He's probably waiting for the perfect moment to rip off that zinger...

[Adeejay]

6 hours ago, CSunshine76 said:

If he makes 40 and she makes 2.5 more, she makes 100k.  To me, that’s a big difference.

To be fair, what Olivia said was, "I probably make 2.5 times more than you."  She didn't say "definitely".  I was just guessing when I said that she probably makes $90K and he makes $40K, because pairing someone who makes $100K with one who makes $40K would be ridiculous.  

Edited August 21, 2020 by Adeejay

[Ilovepie]

3 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

I think we can rule out #2 not because of moral integrity but it would be impossible for it not to be spilled and that would be huge unwanted trouble. That would be a titanic scandal.

1 is a possibility misery loves company...oddly though I don't think either of them have real hang ups with each other or any real dislike for one another. It would be better if they graded the marriage A-F. Christina could have given their marriage a C or C- which is a lot better sounding than a 5 but 5 is in the middle of the scale just as C is. A week long honey moon on vacation is hardly a barometer of where a marriage really at. Brett got at least a B. On a scale of 10, 7 7.5 is high on the scale of 10.

3. She could just be a busy body...some people are like that.

You are forgetting a fourth option - someone from production put her up to it to spur on the drama they so clearly mapped out as the story line for Brett and Olivia........so far, they haven't been cooperating as he's been pretty pleasant up until now and she likes him......

[Jeanne222]

Well surely during the vetting process this was all discussed with the experts!!!!  Olivia must have said income was not important to her.

[Empress1]

1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

To be fair, what Olivia said was, "I probably make 2.5 times more than you."  She didn't say "definitely".  I was just guessing when I said that she probably makes $90K and he makes $40K, because pairing someone who makes $100K with one who makes $40 would be ridiculous.  

Brett said “are you threatened that you make almost three times more than me? [sic]” Olivia said it wasn’t three times more. Brett said “it’s like two and a half.” She didn’t respond to that so I’m guessing that’s accurate (they started talking about whether it bothered either of them that she makes more). I threw out the low six figures guess for Olivia based on what I know about nurse practitioner salaries and worked backwards based on that 2.5 times figure. 

Olivia also said she was fine with being a nurse practitioner for now but she could always switch and that she gets bored easily. Seems like a lot of effort to put in & then shrug it off.

Edited August 20, 2020 by Empress1

[Adeejay]

I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why they paired Olivia and Brett. I am starting to believe it’s for the disparity between their salaries and lifestyles. There is bound to be drama.  Funny how none of the other couples had the salary discussion.

ChristinA strikes me as the flight attendant who would refuse to give you a whole can of soda or an extra bag of peanuts.

[bellenoire]

6 hours ago, Neurochick said:

This is what Karen thinks of herself.

 

Okay sis, the last man you dated had a baby by another woman WHILE he was with you.  Now Miles has mental health issues.  The older you get, the more issues a guy is going to have.  There's no such thing as prince charming and if Karen thinks that she "deserves better" or the perfect guy is waiting for her, she doesn't need marriage, she needs therapy.

I have been reading your posts for a while, and I really appreciate the fact that every season you reiterate the idea that there is no “fairy tale” marriage, and no perfect spouse. I think that a lot of people who come on this show are under that illusion, and it’s sad. And I agree, most people who come on this show don’t need marriage, they need therapy! The fact that she thinks that depression isn’t masculine is concerning. I wonder how many issues she’s suppressing that will inevitably make their way into her behavior/their relationship.

[Boo Boo]

@Soup333, I'm not sure why I reacted so strongly to your comment asking me if I share DNA with Brett and his cat.  Usually I have a sense of humor, especially when you mentioned his cat.  And now I'm chuckling at it. I'm sorry I snipped earlier; blaming COVID-19!

Edited August 20, 2020 by Boo Boo

[dirtypop90]

In the minority I’m sure, but I’m not feeling Miles. Karen’s statements re masculinity were ignorant. But Miles is too young for her. He’s not romantic; does a lot of annoying teasing instead.  I really saw it when he was asking the others where they thought she could beat him in a race. That was something me and my old college boyfriend used to argue about because were both athletes. I would think it was a little weird now that I’m in Karen’s age range. And dropping a bomb like that about being on medication for clinical depression during honeymoon also shows his age because he hasn’t learn “right place and right time.” And I don’t think they’ve mentioned a career for him yet which concerns me. Karen also just isn’t physically attracted to him. Karen needed an older man. And I’m not sure a young man who struggles with mental health is appropriate for an experience like this.

I still like Amani and Woody, with caution, but she probably shouldn’t have slept with him so soon.

I’m now starting to think Amelia doesn’t like Bennett as much as he likes her. She was a little lukewarm this ep.

I can’t figure out Brett. I thought I had him figured out until the end when he seemed...sincere...with his apology. Maybe he is just screwed up from his past relationship. I like Olivia. That wage difference must have been steep because I felt she really started to put her foot down when she found out how much he made. Lol

No comment on the other couple.

Edited August 20, 2020 by dirtypop90
Typos

[humbleopinion]

3 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Oh one more thing - the dreaded 7 rating - clearly Olivia didn't watch the Dallas season. Never a 7!!!! Brett should call Amber to commiserate.........

Olivia claims to be a student of MAFS so she should have known better than rating Brett a 7.

Dallas Amber threw her biggest hissy in the furniture store when Dave let her know he gave her a 7, which she immediately equated to a D, a failing grade.
She whined so loudly that Dave conceded he should have given her a well deserved 7.5, after all they were having sexy time  every night and morning.
Olivia low balling Brett’s husband act has flipped his switch, to quote Jas., but in a bad way.

Brett was never going to make it all 8 weeks but Olivia has managed to make him the sympathetic figure in the marriage.

[JapMo]

3 minutes ago, dirtypop90 said:

Karen also just isn’t physically attracted to him.

YES.  I mean it's as simple as that.  She knows he's a nice guy.  She knows she should feel over the moon lucky she got him.  She knows her family probably already loves him.  But physically, he just doesn't interest her.  There's no spark.  But of course she doesn't want to hurt him.  Plus she likes Amani and Woody and they would be disappointed.  So she makes excuses for not wanting to touch him or hold hands or kiss him.  She throws out anything that might stick...he's too young...he's had sooooooo many relationships.   Those things don't really matter to her.  And then she has Miles to confront.  The more she pulls back, the more understanding Miles becomes.  And why?  BECAUSE HE KNOWS.  Oh yes....Miles knows.  He feels it.  He's holding on by his fingertips, trying everything he can think of to be that better man that she will then like/love.

It's so sad, and I don't hate Karen for it.  She can't talk to Amani...she doesn't really know her that well and what if Amani told Woody and he told Miles?  Karen feels isolated.  If she calls Rev Cal, he'll say give it a chance.  But way down deep in the pit of her stomach, Karen knows she's going to have to hurt everybody...eventually.  It's just a matter of when she finally decides she just can't fake it anymore.

28 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Dallas Amber threw her biggest hissy in the furniture store when Dave let her know he gave her a 7, which she immediately equated to a D, a failing grade.

Are you sure Dave gave her a 7?  I thought he gave her a 5.

[JapMo]

32 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Olivia low balling Brett’s husband act has flipped his switch, to quote Jas., but in a bad way.

Brett was never going to make it all 8 weeks but Olivia has managed to make him the sympathetic figure in the marriage.

I felt sorry for him and don't think it's an act....I believe he's generally trying to make it work, and it hurt him when she gave a 7 rating. 

I DO believe he did not want to discuss it with the cameras on, which is why he turned mute when she kept badgering him.  

[JapMo]

14 minutes ago, JapMo said:

41 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Dallas Amber threw her biggest hissy in the furniture store when Dave let her know he gave her a 7, which she immediately equated to a D, a failing grade.

Are you sure Dave gave her a 7?  I thought he gave her a 5.

No....you're right...sort of.  I just looked it up.  He gave her a 7.5.  

[Mimiray802]

13 hours ago, SabineElisabeth said:

 

When Amelia asked Bennett if he'd like to hear her song, I immediately braced myself for what I was sure would be a completely cringe worthy performance. (Matt, N. Carolina season, "singing" for new bride Amber, anyone?)  Instead.... I too thought she did a lovely job!  In fact, for just a second, I thought I was listening to a new Norah Jones track. 🎶❤

I really liked her song too. With the right beat beat it could easily be my next ear worm.

[TheMediumBopper]

27 minutes ago, JapMo said:

Are you sure Dave gave her a 7?  I thought he gave her a 5.

It was a 7. I remember that very distinctly because I remember thinking that a 7 was a C and that I wouldn't be happy with that score either. Nobody wants to be just okay. Maybe it's a teacher thing.

[Boo Boo]

2 minutes ago, Mimiray802 said:

I really liked her song too. With the right beat beat it could easily be my next ear worm.

Amelia has a great voice!  I typically hate the indie girl talk/sing but Amelia didn't over do that at all.  I really like her a lot and I'm enjoying watching two people really crush on each other.

[Cancun]

1 hour ago, dirtypop90 said:

In the minority I’m sure, but I’m not feeling Miles. Karen’s statements re masculinity were ignorant. But Miles is too young for her. He’s not romantic; does a lot of annoying teasing instead.  I really saw it when he was asking the others where they thought she could beat him in a race. That was something me and my old college boyfriend used to argue about because were both athletes. I would think it was a little weird now that I’m in Karen’s age range. And dropping a bomb like that about being on medication for clinical depression during honeymoon also shows his age because he hasn’t learn “right place and right time.” And I don’t think they’ve mentioned a career for him yet which concerns me. Karen also just isn’t physically attracted to him. Karen needed an older man. And I’m not sure a young man who struggles with mental health is appropriate for an experience like this.

Many here have expressed this same thought, and I don’t disagree...IF the timing was Miles’ idea.  However, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was suggested by production that he “address his big issue with Karen today.”  

[gonecrackers]

Another production manufactured ratings convo, this time with everyone together to make sure they're all comparing. I wish they'd drop that nonsense, along with the juvenile & nosy who's-had-sex question. 🙄

Olivia has a tendency to lecture, & that's annoying.  Initially thought she was sweet, now she seems cold & somewhat superficial to me.

No more "Poor Olivia" from me.

Henry was entertaining to watch this episode. He's loosening up & trying. ChristinA is bratty & talks down about him. She's in another universe if she thinks Henry will ever "take charge". His father told her she "could lead", & I think he meant - "you'll have to lead".

I'm glad Miles brought up his depression at this point, before some attachment might happen & that info takes them down if she's not accepting.

Now that they had sex Amani doesn't want to shower with Woody anymore. Good 'cuz shower is private business-time, not fun-time.

 I hate Amelia's flower shower cap/hat, & I just can't with Bennett's filthy feet. 🤢 If any two people need showers, apart or together, it's those two.

On a positive note her audition went better than Matt's... doubt she'll be leaving her doctor gig though.

Pissing in the shower - just no.

Edited August 21, 2020 by gonecrackers

[Elizzikra]

Quote

ChristinA strikes me as the flight attendant who would refuse to give you a whole can of soda or an extra bag of peanuts.

Yeah. If you want that kind of treatment, go to first class!

Quote

And dropping a bomb like that about being on medication for clinical depression during honeymoon also shows his age because he hasn’t learn “right place and right time.”

I think all rules about right place/right time go out the window on this show. After all, these people got married without ever meeting first. What's a "normal" timeline for that? I told my husband that I had well managed depression on our third date so he could decide if he was ok with that before got serious. Lucky for me, he didn't even blink. I would rather Miles err on the side of telling her "too soon" than waiting "too long" - especially given that Karen is so worried about being hurt or being blindsided by some evidence that Miles isn't a good guy.

Quote

And I don’t think they’ve mentioned a career for him yet which concerns me. 

Miles works with young people - currently in a school - and he has an undergraduate and a master's degree. I actually can't remember what Karen does though? Project management maybe (but I don't know what industry). 

[humbleopinion]

10 hours ago, essexjan said:

We only got one little shrug dance this episode.

It was less than 3 full shoulder shrugs.....tolerable.

Woody and the producers did a nice room presentation to loosen the rest of Amani's chastity belt's notches...

We are not mad or sad...Mazel tov Wamani !

[ShowFan]

14 hours ago, SabineElisabeth said:

When Amelia asked Bennett if he'd like to hear her song, I immediately braced myself for what I was sure would be a completely cringe worthy performance. (Matt, N. Carolina season, "singing" for new bride Amber, anyone?)  Instead.... I too thought she did a lovely job!  In fact, for just a second, I thought I was listening to a new Norah Jones track. 🎶❤

I didn’t for a moment doubt she’d be awesome. The artsy kind of people that these two are...they are bound to perform well. But she still exceeded my expectations 

[ShowFan]

18 hours ago, bichonblitz said:

And there Jamie sat with her bad extensions looking like road kill. 

Literally the most perfect and accurate description of her. I can’t stand watching Unfiltered because of her. She needs to go away 

[SabineElisabeth]

4 hours ago, Adeejay said:

If Olivia makes 2.5 times more than Brett, I am guessing that he makes $40K and she makes $90K.  Olivia said that she would be okay with a man who made less than her, but 2.5 less is a lot.  

4 hours ago, Adeejay said:

To be fair, what Olivia said was, "I probably make 2.5 times more than you."  She didn't say "definitely".  I was just guessing when I said that she probably makes $90K and he makes $40K, because pairing someone who makes $100K with one who makes $40 would be ridiculous.  

I can't decide if this is meant to be a serious statement or is really well-delivered sarcasm... but the  first time I read it I immediately thought the latter.  And it literally made me laugh out loud.  ; )

4 hours ago, JapMo said:

Is New Orleans a lower paying area than the rest of the country?  Does anybody know?  Because $40k sounds pretty low, IMO.   As someone who's worked in staffing and recruiting, I'd say if he's a programmer he should be making a MINIMUM of $60,000.  I just zeroed in on "Programmer".  I don't believe Brett actually identified his exact position in IT.

4 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

Seems more likely that Olivia inflated her income than he makes $40K as an IT professional.

I would actually guess we're low balling Olivia's salary.  I went to law school in New Orleans and still have friends there, including one whose husband is a nurse practitioner.  With 7 years experience, he's currently making $120k, but it's difficult to really extrapolate out from that because, much like lawyers, salaries for NPs differ greatly based on specific area of practice/specialty, as well as how much/little you choose to work. Given that Olivia is currently in a position where she works a lot, she might lean towards the higher end of the salary spectrum.  And speaking of, when Olivia said she might switch jobs at some point to one that requires less hours, I took that to mean she might take a different position as a NP... not that she's contemplating a career change.  

 

[Neurochick]

2 hours ago, dirtypop90 said:

And I don’t think they’ve mentioned a career for him yet which concerns me. Karen also just isn’t physically attracted to him. Karen needed an older man. And I’m not sure a young man who struggles with mental health is appropriate for an experience like this.

The problem is the older a person is, the more baggage and issues they have.  Karen meets an older man and he might have other issues, ex's, children.  Would those be "red flags" for Karen too?

To me Karen needs to chill out.  She comes across 20 years older than she really is.  Enjoy your thirties girl, because soon they'll be gone.

Edited August 21, 2020 by Neurochick

[Kiss my mutt]

Jamie’s under the impression the longer and stringier the extensions the hotter you are. She’ll be hanging onto that long hair thinking it makes her younger forever. Girl, ya, basic! 

[LaLaLaLa]

6 hours ago, JapMo said:

I don't think she's unattractive.  She has pretty hair, beautiful complexion, pretty eyes and smile.  I would say she's OK looking.  Now that's what she has no control over.  However, how she puts herself together?  She's got "dowdy" running all through her.

Beauty is definitely subjective. I view Olivia (in the limited, edited portion of her life that I see) as someone who does not prioritize her appearance because she'd rather prioritize other components of her life like her career, talking to family/friends, no children, and fine dining, which is typically not healthy. These are all worthwhile pursuits but they do not mesh with Brett's priorities (e.g., healthy diet and lifestyle, working out, planning for the future including creating a family). Brett is fit and he cares about his appearance/body because that's one of his priorities.

[Empress1]

2 hours ago, JapMo said:

I mean it's as simple as that.  She knows he's a nice guy.  She knows she should feel over the moon lucky she got him.  She knows her family probably already loves him.  But physically, he just doesn't interest her.  There's no spark.

Finished the episode. When the whole group was talking and the women were at the bar, Amelia said to Karen, "[Miles] might just be a really nice guy who likes you a lot," and I was reminded of when a friend of mine was seeing a man she, in her words, "tried really hard to like." But she didn't like him, so she would invent little things to be irked by. We were all like, "We think he seems like a nice guy who likes you," like Amelia said. And he was. Good on paper type of dude, the kind of guy she knew she SHOULD like. She just wasn't feeling it, so it fizzled out. 

 Amani is funny. When she opened the door to the room and saw the rose petals she said "I knew you were up to some shit," and I laughed.

Olivia takes the temperature of their relationship a lot. I know in the last conversation/fight with Brett she was doing it in response to her talk with Christina, but she has a tendency to be like "how's it going??" a lot. But I will say, watching her try to pull teeth from Brett and get him to say what he was looking forward to doing with her in NOLA was excruciating. I agreed with her - they've never spent any time together in their city, so they should be excited to show each other "their" version of the city. Where does he like to go? She says she works out; he could take her to his gym. Just ... something!

[Kiss my mutt]

I don’t find Olivia particularly pretty. She’s a little out of shape and has a bird beak nose and lately her personality has made whatever I found attractive even less so. I don’t think Christina giving Brett a hard time was producer induced. I think she’s just bitchy. 
Armani’s voice has never bothered me for some reason and honestly teeth brushing doesn’t either except it’s a waste of camera time. 

I’m glad my husband wasn’t bothered by our income discrepancy when we met. I’m not in a particularly high paying field. I guess it just depends what they put on their preference sheet though. If I requested more parity in income and got a huge difference, that would bother me, but it’s not like they seem to consider them anymore, other in a casual, “whatever” way. 

I think if someone is getting treatment for depression, but is functional and has found a healthy way to cope with it, I would be perfectly alright with it. I’ve have dysthymia all my life but I have a good treatment plan and it’s doubtful anyone would know unless I told them. Now, untreated depression or any other health condition would be a major cause for concern. 
I’m not sure if Karen will be able to come around especially since she’s looking for reasons for it not to be.  He’s too young, he shows emotions and sensitivity  is treated for depression (sounds fairly successfully for the most part), and the whole he’s had 9 serious relationships really throws me since I have no idea how he defines that. I had probably close to that number of monogamous relationships varying in degree of “seriousness” by that age because I’m more comfortable with  that arrangement, not that I’m a failure at relationships 
Karen would be better with someone in their lates 30s but again, as mentioned, you may be dealing with kids, ex wives, and divorce is expensive. 

 

[dirtypop90]

1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

The problem is the older a person is, the more baggage and issues they have.  Karen meets an older man and he might have other issues, ex's, children.  Would those be "red flags" for Karen too?

To me Karen needs to chill out.  She comes across 20 years older than she really is.  Enjoy your thirties girl, because soon they'll be gone.

I haven’t seen anything to suggest Karen is looking for someone perfect. She might be fine being a step mom. I could actually see her with an older man with kids. She’s just not a good match for man in his mid twenties.

 

1 hour ago, Elizzikra said:

I think all rules about right place/right time go out the window on this show. After all, these people got married without ever meeting first. What's a "normal" timeline for that? I told my husband that I had well managed depression on our third date so he could decide if he was ok with that before got serious. Lucky for me, he didn't even blink. I would rather Miles err on the side of telling her "too soon" than waiting "too long" - especially given that Karen is so worried about being hurt or being blindsided by some evidence that Miles isn't a good guy.

Miles works with young people - currently in a school - and he has an undergraduate and a master's degree. I actually can't remember what Karen does though? Project management maybe (but I don't know what industry). 

I just don’t think a honeymoon, romantic get away with a woman, whom you’re trying to woo because well she doesn’t know you, is the right time or place. It could at least wait until they got back home. His friend Woody, who is a little older, seems to know the purpose of the honeymoon. I’m sure his issues will spill later but he knows they’re not for the honeymoon. He focused on getting his wife to fall for him.

I know Miles got his degree while playing football and trying to get drafted. I remember the kids thing but I don’t remember them stating what his role was i.e. teacher. Like Mike (married to Meka) “worked with kids” and ended up being jobless.  From what I recall,  Karen had some management gig. I’m asking because I also can’t see Karen being ok being the breadwinner. They just seem like a bad match all around.

[greeneyedscorpio]

12 hours ago, Boo Boo said:

Olivia is an asshole about money.  Talking about enjoying nice things as if she's Bill Gates. I mean she makes a nice living bit she ain't rich.  Yes, you want a responsible guy but he has a house, a job, seems to live nicely.  

in general, she seems to think quite highly of herself.  

 

 

 

I don't see what's wrong with a woman (or a man) thinking quite highly of themselves.  It's called a healthy self-esteem and I really believe the world would be a much better place of more people had one.  

[spunky]

I truly like Karen because I can identify with her in some ways. She seems like the type who is reserved when she first meets someone and eventually warms up once she gets to know them. She’s guarded because all she’s ever dated were scrubs and finds Miles too good to be true. I will side eye her for her “masculine” comment. Miles isn’t less of a man because he has Clinical Depression, in fact he’s more of a man for being able to openly discuss his mental health. It’s time that we in the black community stop stigmatizing mental health or minimizing men showing their emotions.

I think Henry is closed off due to Christina’s overall personality. The look on his face when she snapped at the producer not once but twice said a lot. If she’s this impatient on camera, she might be worse when the cameras are not there. Plus she deserved all of Brett’s attitude. If someone already answered your question, don’t badger them until you get the answer you want to hear.

I’m still skeptical of Brett and his motives, however I agreed with him on three things. Firstly if Olivia plans to spend most of her free time with her friends, what time does she have for her husband between working and sleeping. It is cheaper to cook your own meals than it is to eat out every night. Lastly why are they rating their marriages?  Someone always gets offended because of their spouse’s rating.

Woody and Amani  along with Bennett and Amelia continue to be my favorite couples. Producers don’t use Woody and Amani or anyone else to do your dirty work of stirring up drama. Stop being messy.

Edited August 21, 2020 by spunky

[Boo Boo]

2 minutes ago, greeneyedscorpio said:

I don't see what's wrong with a woman (or a man) thinking quite highly of themselves.  It's called a healthy self-esteem and I really believe the world would be a much better place of more people had one.  

I wasn't referring to "healthy self-esteem."