S07.E06: Whitney Meets the Parents

[Dlewny]

I saw in an article where she (Whitney)stated the engagement ring is exactly the one she wanted. I assume that is because she not only picked it out, but paid for it too.

if this is the “real thing”, then I wish her the best, an iron clad pre nuptial, and a heck of a good attorney because I don’t doubt when the money stops rolling in, he’s outta there.

[Elizzikra]

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Agree- although I think that people who want to mention why they felt having children was a wonderful choice are often rebutted by those without children who can't help but talk about how overpopulated the world is , how their choice not to procreate was better for the world, and how messy and annoying children are. It goes both ways.

Maybe the world just needs for everyone to focus on their own reproductive choices and not everyone else's?

Quote

So if your name is Casey Patrick, why do you go by "Chase"? I'm confused.

Quote

I believe he said that there were 3 girls named Casey in his grade or class at school.

I think he further said that he got teased for having a "girls' name" so he started going by Chase.

[Irate Panda]

So her initial response to staying to meet Chase’s family was that Buddy will always win..I don’t know any real boyfriend that just calmly walks off and is off happily to the crick the next day.

[mamadrama]

On 2/11/2020 at 8:13 PM, aliya said:

I'm not sure if I'm even on the right board for tonight, but why, for the love of all that's holy, does Buddy think he has what it takes for improv? He's hardly a comedian. He has no grasp of cultural norms or current events (think George Carlin or even Chris Rock). Why would anyone want to hear from him?

And he mumbles so much that it's hard to tell what he is talking about half the time.

 

[Irate Panda]

13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Mr. Yeah No was an assistant service manager at a Mercedes dealership for years.  Mercedes salesmen can make a lot of money if they've been there a long time and have built up a big contact list and repeat clientele.  Otherwise it depends since a huge part of their income is from commission.  But if successful, they don't hurt for income, it's just a tough business because so much depends on contacts and commission, not salary.  During the recession even the very successful salesmen were hurting because sales were way down.  I'm figuring that Chase's father has been there a long time and is well connected.  Does that make him a "very successful and respected businessman"?  Eh, that's a bit of a stretch.  The way they billed him at first I thought he OWNED the dealership.

That said, "Severino" is a surname that could be either Italian, Spanish or Portuguese.  I'm trying to figure out which one is the case, not that it matters but I'm part Italian and Chase's father talked about the great "Severino" family name, so it interests me.

I believe that Chase said he was Italian or at least the name on IG because somebody asked if he was I think Romani Gypsy or something of the sort.

1 minute ago, mamadrama said:

And he mumbles so much that it's hard to tell what he is talking about half the time.

 

That’s exactly what I was thinking...he mumbles so much, even if he were funny, you can’t understand him half the time.

[auntjess]

4 hours ago, Donut Bear said:

I am not a fan of Whitney nor of Buddy.  But if my boyfriend pulled that stunt about forcing Whitney to choose him over her commitment I would dump him. He was callous and shallow and obviously doesn’t care about her feelings at all.  

I agree.  I can't remember what all alarmed me, but I think he seems abusive, at least verbally.
Maybe part of the allure of a fat girl, is that she might feel she has to put up with more.
 

[auntjess]

59 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

On 2/11/2020 at 8:13 PM, aliya said:

I'm not sure if I'm even on the right board for tonight, but why, for the love of all that's holy, does Buddy think he has what it takes for improv? He's hardly a comedian. He has no grasp of cultural norms or current events (think George Carlin or even Chris Rock). Why would anyone want to hear from him?

And he mumbles so much that it's hard to tell what he is talking about half the time.

Either one will often put him in places that he should stay away from, as an addict.  He might as well go back to being a bartender.  At least it's steadier pay. 
(And I'm not putting down bartending, just noting that it was a bad place for Buddy.)

[Irate Panda]

I might agree more about the picking between Buddy and Chase being a red flag about chase, if she weren’t always catering to Buddy and he wasn’t always depositing himself at her house rent free. She has a “boyfriend’ Chase, yet has her legs flung over Buddy.  She’s engaged but going on road trips with Buddy.  The whole thing is stupid.
 

 Why did Whitney even go on this trip if Buddy’s comedy show was such a big deal? What happened to her Glen Thore trip planning/itinerary skills?  Again, it all sounds like a storyline, and once again Tal and Jon look like they are counting down the seconds before the director yells, “Cut!”

[Yeah No]

On 2/11/2020 at 11:34 PM, John M said:

This isn't weird for me, I'm in my late 30s and literally never called my boss, my boss's boss or my husband's parents by anything but their first name.

Times change and his father is not a "very successful and respected  businessman" that would stand on ceremony, he is a car salesman, I assure you he is not offended when a teenager shows up to buy a new Mercedes calls him by dude, bro or much less his first name.

I'm 61 and where I lived in NYC we stopped calling our bosses and inlaws by their last names in 1979.  I remember it well, just like the year in the 2000's that the entire world switched over to flat screen monitors, LOL.  I don't know about the South, though, as that was likely more traditional for a longer time.  Although I do think that Chase's father might be annoyed at being called "dude" or "bro", but he'd let it slide and not show it if he thought he was going to make a sale.

17 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

On another note, that chicken she and Chase served looked positively anemic.  

OMG, if you're going to bread chicken at least put enough breading on it so you don't see a half inch of uncoated white meat chicken on all sides of each spot of breading!!  How dry and tasteless must THAT have been?  Ugh!

13 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

Especially when about 5 minutes later, she blew off Buddy because she didn't want to risk a rift with Chase.  That didn't sound like choosing Buddy over Chase to me, particularly when she didn't even nut up and call Buddy to tell him she wouldn't be able to make it. 

Whitney talks out of both sides of her ample ass a lot of the time.  

It was IMO totally unreal.  I don't believe that even Whitney would say she wouldn't leave Buddy in the dust and then in effect do it 5 minutes later.  Buddy is an old friend but I seriously doubt he is any kind of romantic threat in real life I'm sure.  They're just making it look like he's coming between her and Chase for the show.  I don't even know if I believe that her relationship with Chase is for real either.

13 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Oh, I've had an incident like that deer thing, only, the deer DID hit my car....totaled:(

A deer ran into my SUV 6 months ago.  Not totaled thankfully but traumatic.  Then 2 months ago a similar thing happened on a major interstate to my husband, only his SUV was totaled.  The deer are out of control these days.  Whitney dodged a bullet there.

12 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

All I could think of watching that scene of her delicate feet being devoured by that wet sand was the old expression "like a cow with its foot caught in the mud."

Yes, I am destined for hell.  

LOL, all I could think of was that if she fell over she'd look like a hippo at the zoo.  I'm obviously destined for a worse level of hell than you....

9 hours ago, lizajane said:

I believe he said that there were 3 girls named Casey in his grade or class at school.

I dated a southern guy once (I'm from NYC originally) and didn't find out until 6 months into the relationship that his first name was really "Ashley", which I knew was also a male name thanks to "Gone with the Wind".  And the only reason I found out is because I saw his name on something with the A. before the name I knew him by.  He said he never told people about it because it embarrassed him, so I don't blame Chase for not exactly broadcasting his real first name to Whitney.

[readheaded]

23 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Just because millions of people think something is so "awesome" doesn't mean it should be for everyone.  I never had kids myself for many reasons despite being married for 40 years.  Not everyone thinks it's an awesome experience and that's for them to decide based on what works for them.  Some people think jumping out of an airplane is an experience no one should leave this life without having, but I say to each his own, and to those who keep saying it's something my life will not be as awesome without, please don't make me feel bad for not ever wanting to do it.  It's not fair to make people feel bad about their choices.  I agree with @TurtlePower here.

I have 3 sons I love more than I could have ever imagined, but parenting isn’t something I think anyone should do half-heartedly, nor do I think it’s something that should define a person.  The world’s a better place when people can make their own choices without judgment or fear of judgment. 

[TurtlePower]

21 hours ago, 3girlsforus said:

To me it’s kind of offensive. It’s as if she said ‘well I’m going to West Virginia, the land of the hick, so I’m going to wear overalls and a bandana.’ 

Leave it to our Whit to be culturally insensitive (or set up by producers). Either way it was presumptuous. It's like when tourists come to New Mexico and think wearing cowboy hats and tons of turquoise is the norm. Yes, longtime residents and natives wear such things, but not to the levels the tourists attempt. And people here do wear overalls, but they're usually running in and out of the local Tractor Supply. 

[SunnyBeBe]

I'm in the south (NC) and I say it's about 50/50 with whether you call in-laws by first name or not. Most parents, if they have kids, will call in-laws what the grandkids do, like grandma or grandpa.  It has to do with personality, age, etc. One of my brothers calls his FIL by first name, but, MIL by last name, as Ms. Smith.  I think his FIL actually asked him to do it that way. I also think it depends on whether you first meet your in-laws when you are 18 years-old or 35 years-old. 

[John M]

14 hours ago, Dlewny said:

I saw in an article where she (Whitney)stated the engagement ring is exactly the one she wanted.

Do proposals these days happen without a pre-agreed upon ring? Especially a style as specific as the one Whit is wearing?

That seems like a huge warning sign about a relationship to me, making an incredibly expensive purchase that you expect your partner to wear daily without some serious specific discussions about it first.

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, John M said:

Do proposals these days happen without a pre-agreed upon ring? Especially a style as specific as the one Whit is wearing?

That seems like a huge warning sign about a relationship to me, making an incredibly expensive purchase that you expect your partner to wear daily without some serious specific discussions about it first.

I was completely surprised when my husband proposed (we had talked about getting married and he knew that I liked a particular ring setting but I had no idea about the timeline). I love my ring but it's not the one setting that we had looked at together (the setting was specific to a particular jeweler who turned out to be not particularly reputable). I love how much thought my husband put into choosing my ring and I love the ring itself.

That said, I think that most jewelers will exchange a ring if it's new and unworn. I don't think it's uncommon for a bride to not love something about it and ask for something different. It's hard for me to imagine doing that knowing that my husband put a lot of time and thought into choosing something for me but every couple is different. 

After all that... yes, engagements happen without a pre-agreed upon ring. Mine wasn't and I have several friends who didn't choose their own rings either. But Whitney's is a non-traditional style and stone so who knows???

[Dot]

9 hours ago, Yeah No said:

 

OMG, if you're going to bread chicken at least put enough breading on it so you don't see a half inch of uncoated white meat chicken on all sides of each spot of breading!! . . . .

I dated a southern guy once (I'm from NYC originally) and didn't find out until 6 months into the relationship that his first name was really "Ashley", which I knew was also a male name thanks to "Gone with the Wind". 

 

Did anyone else hear Twit say something about mac 'n' cheese & Thomas say, "the mashed potatoes are good."? In my wildest menu- planning, I cannot imagine serving both of those side dishes at the same meal. That's the 2nd time Twit has. The other was when she invited her pals to a meet-Nada buffet. But that was a BUFFET.

I don't think it would happen these days -- I'm 81 -- but in my South/Southwest youth, I knew a Beverley, a couple of Carols & even a Cathy who were males. I recall their GFs being more embarrassed than the boys about that.

[Colleenna]

18 minutes ago, Dot said:

Did anyone else hear Twit say something about mac 'n' cheese & Thomas say, "the mashed potatoes are good."? In my wildest menu- planning, I cannot imagine serving both of those side dishes at the same meal. That's the 2nd time Twit has. The other was when she invited her pals to a meet-Nada buffet. But that was a BUFFET.

I don't think it would happen these days -- I'm 81 -- but in my South/Southwest youth, I knew a Beverley, a couple of Carols & even a Cathy who were males. I recall their GFs being more embarrassed than the boys about that.

When I was a teenager (and pterodactyls roamed the earth) I dated a guy whose mother  invited me to  Sunday lunch every Sunday. (We went to the same  church). It wasn't  uncommon  for her to put potatoes,  mac and cheese, corn, and biscuits on the table along side roast beef and green beans.  Personally I'd  never  do this, but that's me. 

[Elizzikra]

48 minutes ago, Dot said:

Did anyone else hear Twit say something about mac 'n' cheese & Thomas say, "the mashed potatoes are good."? In my wildest menu- planning, I cannot imagine serving both of those side dishes at the same meal. That's the 2nd time Twit has. The other was when she invited her pals to a meet-Nada buffet. But that was a BUFFET.

I don't think it would happen these days -- I'm 81 -- but in my South/Southwest youth, I knew a Beverley, a couple of Carols & even a Cathy who were males. I recall their GFs being more embarrassed than the boys about that.

I get mac and cheese and mashed potatoes every time I go to Cracker Barrel. They are also both staples in a lot of Thanksgiving meals. I honestly don't think it's that odd at all. It's not going to win you any points for good health but it sure is tasty.

[Dot]

42 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I get mac and cheese and mashed potatoes every time I go to Cracker Barrel. They are also both staples in a lot of Thanksgiving meals. I honestly don't think it's that odd at all. It's not going to win you any points for good health but it sure is tasty.

I do know that both dishes are staples for African-Americans at Thanksgiving. But I'm surprised at the feedback I've got here on the forum. Obviously, it's not that strange to pair the 2 at a regular meal. Thanks for the info!

 

[Me from ME]

The Severino "family yurt" is a rental.

https://www.vavacationrentals.com/listing.265#rates

 

 

[Dot]

56 minutes ago, Me from ME said:

The Severino "family yurt" is a rental.

https://www.vavacationrentals.com/listing.265#rates

 

 

Great catch! However did you think to look for this info?

I'll bet not one Severino ever set foot in "the family yurt" until MBFFL was filmed. More unreal "reality" programming.

[Me from ME]

Quote

Great catch! However did you think to look for this info?

A page or two back someone mentioned that the family might have owned a timeshare which would explain why they went to the same place year after year. When Chase or Twit mentioned the name of the town I did a search. The sign near the entrance is rather distinctive and I looked a little further and saw the notyurt (because I have never seen a yurt that looked like that.)

For those of you who haven't followed the link the one that they used is one room, sleeps six and has one bathroom. Close quarters for two but, for five adults when one has a huge personality doesn't seem like the optimal situation for a relaxing time. I agree with @Dot. It was probably rented by the production company and used for a few hours of filming.

 

 

 

[John M]

3 hours ago, Me from ME said:

A page or two back someone mentioned that the family might have owned a timeshare which would explain why they went to the same place year after year.

 

3 hours ago, Dot said:

Great catch! However did you think to look for this info?

I'll bet not one Severino ever set foot in "the family yurt" until MBFFL was filmed. More unreal "reality" programming.

Actually I kind of get this, my family used to decamp for a few weeks every summer to the same rented home in Hawaii for probably the first 12 years of my life, I now retreat for a week every year to a cabin community in Colorado with my husband's family that they have been going to for years and years, the owners greet us like family and we stay in the same cabins.

I'm not saying it really happens with Chase's family because this entire show is bullshit, but in the real world it is a thing.

[Irate Panda]

On 2/12/2020 at 10:52 AM, Robbie M said:

Poor Henchi....so many new Daddy’s 

Lol I know poor Henchi and Wandaleeza all these different men being brought into their lives only to have Buddy keep popping back up.

[3girlsforus]

I assume the yurt rental ‘getaway’ was created by the producers for several reasons. First, everything seems to need an ‘event’. Reality shows can’t just show reality because regular life is dull. So God forbid she meets his parents by having dinner at a restaurant or their house. Of course a getaway enabled the ‘Whitney can’t go to Buddy’s show’. They need lots of ways to show us that Chase is jealous of Buddy so when his contract expires   they break up it can be because she really is destined to be with Buddy. And finally, I have to imagine that Chase’s family may very well have said ‘no filming here. If you want us to do a meet the family episode find somewhere else to do it’. 

[Elizzikra]

19 hours ago, Dot said:

I do know that both dishes are staples for African-Americans at Thanksgiving. But I'm surprised at the feedback I've got here on the forum. Obviously, it's not that strange to pair the 2 at a regular meal. Thanks for the info!

 

I wish they were both parts of my regular meals but if they were, I'd be even bigger than I already am!

This entire conversation led me to make mashed potatoes and gravy last night for dinner but I restrained myself on the mac and cheese.

[Ketzel]

4 hours ago, 3girlsforus said:

I assume the yurt rental ‘getaway’ was created by the producers for several reasons. First, everything seems to need an ‘event’. Reality shows can’t just show reality because regular life is dull. So God forbid she meets his parents by having dinner at a restaurant or their house. Of course a getaway enabled the ‘Whitney can’t go to Buddy’s show’. They need lots of ways to show us that Chase is jealous of Buddy so when his contract expires   they break up it can be because she really is destined to be with Buddy. And finally, I have to imagine that Chase’s family may very well have said ‘no filming here. If you want us to do a meet the family episode find somewhere else to do it’. 

And Chase's mother said, "Heck, no, you can leave me out of this nonsense wherever it takes place." "Fine," said the producers, "Go to a conference for work, or something." "Fine!" says Chase's mother and walks away muttering "to think I was upset when he tried out for The Bachelor! Who knew it could get worse than that!"

 

[Dlewny]

The premise of the show is that Whitney gained all this weight from a POC disorder. She states having children will also be an issue.

However a different reality show on another cable channel features a young woman with the same disease, who is not only rail thin but has several children.

Therefore, I think her weight is from too many donuts and ice cream, not what she claims.

[Colleenna]

32 minutes ago, Dlewny said:

The premise of the show is that Whitney gained all this weight from a POC disorder. She states having children will also be an issue.

However a different reality show on another cable channel features a young woman with the same disease, who is not only rail thin but has several children.

Therefore, I think her weight is from too many donuts and ice cream, not what she claims.

Not to mention... Victoria  Beckham,  Leah Michele, Jillian Michaels,  Emma Thompson,  Daisy  Ridley..... /sarcastafont on/ Why, every one of those  women  are super morbidly obese,  just like our beloved Sweatney. They must be!! They all have PCOS, and everyone  knows that makes you obese.  /sarcastafont off/ 

[LuvMyShows]

On 2/11/2020 at 8:53 PM, suev33 3 said:

Whitney looks sooo much better in those over-alls and bandana, than she does in those leggings and tight shirts

I am just baffled by how she could have been worried about making a good impression, while simultaneously planning to wear leggings and probably just a jog bra.  

On 2/11/2020 at 11:14 PM, Caseysgirl said:

Also, assuming you are now a member of the family who can make all kinds of inside jokes with them seems presumptuous to me. 

Yeah, I absolutely could not believe when Chase said or did whatever faux-pas that caused Whitney to say "Harry, is that how you raised him?" that she then doubled-down and moved to jokingly insult the mother as being the person who raised Chase badly.

On 2/11/2020 at 10:35 PM, iwasish said:

I thought Buddy was doing the improv as a way to push himself to be more comfortable in different situations.   I don’t think he believes he has a career in comedy.

IIRC, Buddy said he was doing the Improv as a way to improve his regular stand-up and loosen up.  After the show, he said that all it did was end up making him more nervous, not less.  I think that it is completely stand-up related, and not about some general desire to improve himself.

[Dot]

Ratings for this episode

31st of Top 50 Tue cable shows

Share dropped 0.04 to 0.21

Also dropped out of the million+ viewers status to 871,000 viewers

A hopeful trend?

[Donut Bear]

4 hours ago, Ketzel said:

And Chase's mother said, "Heck, no, you can leave me out of this nonsense wherever it takes place." "Fine," said the producers, "Go to a conference for work, or something." "Fine!" says Chase's mother and walks away muttering "to think I was upset when he tried out for The Bachelor! Who knew it could get worse than that!"

 

The fact that she was absent is one of the strongest hints that this whole romance is a fraud.  If it was truly real, she would make herself available or they would schedule the meeting when she was available.  Sooner or later she will have to show up, unless she plans to skip the televised wedding extravaganza.

[Tipsymcstagger]

I’m gonna be the asshole who says that if I were the parent of someone who wanted to marry a super-morbid obese woman - I’d be hesitant. Ridiculous that being concerned about health and livelihood is considered fat shaming.

[Elizzikra]

1 hour ago, Tipsymcstagger said:

I’m gonna be the asshole who says that if I were the parent of someone who wanted to marry a super-morbid obese woman - I’d be hesitant. Ridiculous that being concerned about health and livelihood is considered fat shaming.

I don't consider it fat shaming - my issue is that adult children choose their own mates. I don't think that their parents get a vote. Chase knows Whitney is fat and he knows that there are health concerns associated with being fat. Despite this, he is choosing to marry her (per the show). 

So for his parents to share any concerns they might have? That's not fat shaming but it is crossing boundaries. They wouldn't be giving him any information he didn't have already. For them to say something feels like them questioning his judgement ("are you really sure you want to marry a fat person with all that entails?") or trying to make themselves better ("hey, at least when this all goes south, we can say we told you so..."). This particularly bothers me when parents of adult children seem to think that their desire to have a grandchild should somehow factor into their adult child's choice of a spouse.

If an adult child asks for an opinion, fine - say your piece. But if not, you have to trust that you did a good job raising your kid to make good decisions. Your job is to support and love them - not question or challenge them.

Edited February 15, 2020 by Elizzikra

[LuvMyShows]

 

On 2/11/2020 at 10:47 PM, LibertarianSlut said:

Too much personal talk, too much personal info around that campfire though, with Whitney, of course, being the initiator.  But—don’t throw things at me—maybe it was Whitney’s attempt to get everything on the table, so if the family did have reservations about her size, she was giving them an opportunity to put it out on the table.  If that was her motivation, that was maybe one of the classier things she’s done this season.  I’ll stop talking now.  

I cannot imagine any family, upon meeting their child's SO for the first time, expressing a concern to the SO's face about that person being too fat, and especially doing that on national TV.

[LuvMyShows]

4 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't consider it fat shaming - my issue is that adult children choose their own mates. I don't think that their parents get a vote. Chase knows Whitney is fat and he knows that there are health concerns associated with being fat. Despite this, he is choosing to marry her (per the show). 

So for his parents to share any concerns they might have? That's not fat shaming but it is crossing boundaries. They wouldn't be giving him any information he didn't have already. For them to say something feels like them questioning his judgement ("are you really sure you want to marry a fat person with all that entails?") or trying to make themselves better ("hey, at least when this all goes south, we can say we told you so..."). 

If an adult child asks for an opinion, fine - say your piece. But if not, you have to trust that you did a good job raising your kid to make good decisions. Your job is to support and love them - not question or challenge them.

I couldn't disagree more about the bolded parts, and I'm not just talking about if my child brings home a morbidly obese SO.  As a parent, we have no idea what our child does or doesn't know about any "red flag" issue concerning their SO, especially when the couple are relatively young and in the throes of hormonal-altered thinking.  For example, a partner may have no idea what is involved in marrying someone who has very large amounts of debt.  Young-and-in-love people may not know what they don't know, and therefore wouldn't be asking for an opinion.  So having a conversation with your child about finances in marriage, and what debt involves, is a loving thing to do.  You're not saying "Don't marry this person."  You're simply helping them be more informed about one of the most important decisions they will ever make.  Likewise I can imagine someone like Whitney totally misrepresenting to her partner what obesity could mean to them as a couple, so a parent very well could bring information that the child didn't already know.  

To give a real world example, my best friend married right out of college to someone she (in hindsight) never should have married (they ended up divorcing after less than a year).  I didn't know her back then, and she has expressed many times that she wishes her mom had said something, anything, about any concerns, rather than just going along and acting happy about the marriage.  

[LibertarianSlut]

40 minutes ago, LuvMyShows said:

 

I cannot imagine any family, upon meeting their child's SO for the first time, expressing a concern to the SO's face about that person being too fat, and especially doing that on national TV.

Well, considering it is national TV, if the issue came up, if Whitney opened the door for them to voice concern about her weight, I could see a loved one asking an open-ended question such as, “Do you ever feel concerned that your size prevents you from...?”  If she puts it out there and says it’s open for discussion, the parents or family aren’t assholes for discussing what was put out there for discussion.

It’s as if Whitney had an obvious drug problem, and she went to meet the family when it was common knowledge that she was the star of “The Heroine of Heroin,” and she put it out there on the table.  It would be fair game to talk about it, as long as they’re being respectful.  

I agree it’s unlikely to happen in some US subcultures.  As a person who was born and raised in the north, but spent time in the south and around southerners, I think it would be less likely to happen in the north.  Because, in general, in the north, the question would be, like, [said in an Olive Kitteridge accent], “Ya thinking bout doing anything bout your weight problem?”  That’s not going to happen on TV, unless the family is totally out there.  

But people from the south—and parts of the Midwest—can make an art form out of bringing an issue to the forefront with clean hands.  

This is how it might be handled by a southern mama:

After enough small talk, when silence descends upon the table, she says, “So, Whitney, tell us about more about this television show you’re on,” listen politely, pick upon something she says, such as what she’s said in the past, like she loves being fat.  Then the person can listen and say, “You love being fat. Well, isn’t that something. You know dear, I do think there’s too much body shaming in this country.” Then Whitney drops her guard, tells her entire story in vivid detail because now Whitney has a captive audience to tell them allll about how Glenn wanted her to lose weight even when she was 120 lbs!

<three hours later>

“...and then they told me I was too fat and crazy to even adopt a baby from Korea, and with my PCOS, the chances of having a child are wildly low, so basically, the only chance I have at procreation is a donor surrogate from Georgia...”

<three hours later>

Whitney has succeeded in pouring out her entire life story to those who are willing to listen (and mama will listen), up to and including the fact that she likes to sniff beards and worse places. Chase’s mom has only listened and lent a sympathetic ear.  No judgment.

Next time Chase’s mom sees him, she says Whitney was lovely. Chase’s desire to rebel against his parents and prove them wrong dissipates.

The time after that when Chase sees his mom, she drops a tidbit about how interesting and fascinating it is that Whitney is such a free spirit.  How courageous she is to face the world despite all the obstacles put in her way. “What obstacles, mom?”  “Oh, just the joint failure, prediabetes, infertility, and the apron that prevents her from lifting things that she mentioned.  So brave.  I really do admire her.”

Message has been signed, sealed, delivered.  And when the relationship falls apart, there are no fingerprints to be found on the murder weapon!

Depending on whether you think this is a valid topic for a parent to bring to their adult child’s attention—and I tend to agree with you, that it’s fair game to opine exactly one time—this is either negotiation or manipulation.  I don’t have any children or any people that are close to me that I have to “verbally massage,” but this is the tactic I would take if I wanted to bring my theoretical child’s attention to something.  (My husband and I deal with each other directly, and we only got married because we agree on the fundamental topics, so this type of thing literally never happened with us).

Not having had the need to go to these particular measures, I can’t say that they work for me, but I have found that the vast majority of the population—probably 80% or more, and Whitney fits this category to a T—do not feel heard.  They have things they want to talk about, that they are dying to talk about, and if you listen long enough, they will eventually tell you things that they never had any intention of disclosing.  I practice this technique roughly 40 hours a week, and that part definitely does work.  

The ability to affect a relationship by disclosing that information discreetly to a third party—your adult kid—will probably work at least once in a lifetime, especially when they are young, like 26.  Hopefully a parent will only feel the need to do that once—at the most—in their adult child’s life.  If Chase did break up with Whitney, only to meet another wildly inappropriate partner, then it’s something within him that’s attracting the wrong person, and he needs to get grown-up help for that.  He can go to a pastor or a therapist.  The parents should nod, smile and let their kid live his own life if he’s intent on making a mess of it.  

Oh, I got away from the original point—that since this is a television show about how fabulous it is to be fat, if the star of the show brings up her weight on camera, the parents of the young man she’s dating could and would likely respond with some measure of concern, even if it’s tempered with 95% endorsement and encouragement for the relationship.

Much, much worse happens when the parents meet the ex-con on Love After Lock-up! (So I’ve heard...😟)

[Elizzikra]

20 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

I couldn't disagree more about the bolded parts, and I'm not just talking about if my child brings home a morbidly obese SO.  As a parent, we have no idea what our child does or doesn't know about any "red flag" issue concerning their SO, especially when the couple are relatively young and in the throes of hormonal-altered thinking.  For example, a partner may have no idea what is involved in marrying someone who has very large amounts of debt.  Young-and-in-love people may not know what they don't know, and therefore wouldn't be asking for an opinion.  So having a conversation with your child about finances in marriage, and what debt involves, is a loving thing to do.  You're not saying "Don't marry this person."  You're simply helping them be more informed about one of the most important decisions they will ever make.  Likewise I can imagine someone like Whitney totally misrepresenting to her partner what obesity could mean to them as a couple

I’m pretty sure Chase knows Whitney is fat and that can cause myriad health problems. I don’t think Chase has to rely on Whitney to explain to him why morbid obesity is bad for your health.

[3girlsforus]

24 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I’m pretty sure Chase knows Whitney is fat and that can cause myriad health problems. I don’t think Chase has to rely on Whitney to explain to him why morbid obesity is bad for your health.

No but he did look surprised when she mentioned that she might not be able to have children.  If I was Chase’s mom and saw his surprised reaction (and if this was real LOL) I’d mention to him that he should be talking about that with Whitney and be sure they are both on the same page about children and any potential issues that could arise related to her PCOS and obesity. Not everyone can go into a marriage knowing they could have infertility problems. When you do know you should at least discuss what you think your approach would be if infertility is an issue. Actually all couples should discuss that but at least if you know it’s a potential problem you really should. It’s not that they have to have children, it’s that children is a major issue that a couple should be in agreement about as much as possible. There is no compromise.  If Chase is figuring they would do a lot of infertility treatments and Whitney figures they will have kids if it happens which it might not because of PCOS - that’s a really big deal. Or whatever significantly different approach they might want to take could be a real issue. If I saw that kind of potential chasm of viewpoint on something so major I would say something. I don’t get a vote as to whether they listen, but I would say something.  Again - this probably is mute because they probably aren’t getting married but hypothetically LOL

[DNR]

I chuckled when i saw the 2 tiny black folding chairs reserved at Buddy’s improv show.......they’ll fit One of Twits butt cheeks 😂Where’s Chase going to sit and God help the stranger sitting next to her.

Chase got a taste of having to deal with Twits size and helplessness when she sunk in the mud 

of course Twit meets chasecasey’s sister and proceeds to shriek like usual. A 30 year old woman can’t even prepare a simple dinner with Chase ..... oh yeah she’s a catch son!!!! 

Twits affected way of speaking when she met chase family was so fake and annoying to me

Edited February 16, 2020 by DNR
More twit

[cherenkov]

On 2/12/2020 at 5:32 PM, SunnyBeBe said:

And sometimes 2-3?  That must be really tiring. How long can you keep that up?

Three videos a day is an hour and 12 minutes of exercise. It's not grueling for someone who is reasonably fit by any means.

 

[Ketzel]

1 hour ago, cherenkov said:

Three videos a day is an hour and 12 minutes of exercise. It's not grueling for someone who is reasonably fit by any means.

 

It's likely even less than that. Every time we are shown snippets of the nobsactive routines, there seem to be breaks for Whitney to act silly, or a pause for Ryan to fiddle around with the camera or to talk about the exercise to come. I doubt the routines are 24 non-stop minutes of action.

[Tosia]

I fast forwarded thru most of Twit's talking heads because I cannot stand to watch people lie and/ or act so poorly. 

I watched some of this episode with the sound muted, and I noted Chase's body language when his sister and her boyfriend met them at the crick. 

He cd not have been more distanced from Twit... body language wise... than if he was across the ocean. He barely looks at Twit, never looks in her eyes, his back is towards her most of the time,  etc.... My interpretation is that he is totally embarrassed to be pimping himself out for  $ on a reality show.  Sister gets it and enjoyed teasing him by asking Twit personal qs.  Chase and his sister seem like nice people. 

So,  it begs the question,  what are they doing on Twit's shitshow?

Oh, and his REAL name is Casey!!!!! shrieks Twit a million times.   I think that was a slip up by dad orsis or boyfriend, much like Lennie's faux name. Or maybe he owes $ to  the mob. 

Dad is a decent sort who is just going along with the game for his son's sake.  Chase/Casey probably told them that the $ we be very handy towards paying off debts or as a nest egg for future. It's a lark. 

Could two engaged people ever look less in love than Twit and Chase? 

 

 

[3girlsforus]

That’s a good point that the real name Casey may have been intended to be secret. When he was going to Paris he posted a photo on IG of his boarding pass which said Casey but he took it down pretty quickly. Although it’s possible he took it down because it had flight info on it as well which isn’t necessarily smart to put on social media, especially when you are sort of in the public eye. I’m not sure why he would care if people know that his real name is Casey since Chase isn’t a fake name. He actually uses it. It’s just not his legal name. But it does seem like something he isn’t sharing. 

[mamadrama]

Please don't take this as any kind of warming up towards Whitney, but I ALMOST felt for her when his family arrived and he just stood there, leaving it to her to come out from behind the counter to say hello and introduce herself.Just further proof that this dude is not in it to win it. 

[Ketzel]

2 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Please don't take this as any kind of warming up towards Whitney, but I ALMOST felt for her when his family arrived and he just stood there, leaving it to her to come out from behind the counter to say hello and introduce herself.Just further proof that this dude is not in it to win it. 

Social graces aren't his long suit, for sure. But remember that she'd already spent part of the day before with his sister and her boyfriend,  his father obviously knew who she was, and she was technically the hostess of the dinner. Maybe the cameras made it awkward for Harry?

[Yeah No]

On 2/12/2020 at 6:53 PM, KateHearts said:

Agree- although I think that people who want to mention why they felt having children was a wonderful choice are often rebutted by those without children who can't help but talk about how overpopulated the world is , how their choice not to procreate was better for the world, and how messy and annoying children are. It goes both ways.

Most people I know that choose not to have kids don't have any problem with those that do and would never say those things to their faces even if they did think it.  They don't think it's their business to make such public statements to friends and acquaintances, just like they would hope that those people would not butt into their business.  However I have seen many parents turn up the guilt on their kids because most of them so desperately want to be grandparents that they don't care about their kids' feelings on the subject.  Then they do the same to other people.

Edited February 17, 2020 by Yeah No

[Yeah No]

On 2/13/2020 at 1:26 PM, Dot said:

Did anyone else hear Twit say something about mac 'n' cheese & Thomas say, "the mashed potatoes are good."? In my wildest menu- planning, I cannot imagine serving both of those side dishes at the same meal. That's the 2nd time Twit has. The other was when she invited her pals to a meet-Nada buffet. But that was a BUFFET.

When I went to Ireland my mind was blown at how many different types of potatoes were served at the same meal.  I grew up thinking one potato per meal, but I guess in Ireland, where the potato is king it's not uncommon to have scalloped, Colcannon and fried potatoes on the table.  Years ago when I went to England a casual lunch menu included baked beans and baked potatoes, which we were told is a traditional dish.  So I'm figuring the multiple starch meal is a holdover from older Southern culture that has disappeared from other areas of the US except at holiday meals of course.  Besides, I know people that consider mac and cheese to be its own separate food group, LOL!  😉

[Emma C]

Chase looks like a poor man's Chris D'Elia. Take a note Buddy, Chris D'Elia is an actual funny person.

Is there a thread discussing "Chasney" and whether or not it's real? If not, we need to start one and collect everyone's theories!

[mamadrama]

On 2/13/2020 at 1:26 PM, Dot said:

Did anyone else hear Twit say something about mac 'n' cheese & Thomas say, "the mashed potatoes are good."? In my wildest menu- planning, I cannot imagine serving both of those side dishes at the same meal. That's the 2nd time Twit has. The other was when she invited her pals to a meet-Nada buffet. But that was a BUFFET.

I don't think it would happen these days -- I'm 81 -- but in my South/Southwest youth, I knew a Beverley, a couple of Carols & even a Cathy who were males. I recall their GFs being more embarrassed than the boys about that.

Macaroni (either with tomato juice or with cheese) and some kind of potato (usually mashed) on the same plate is a staple where I'm from. Until this moment I've never even considered it weird. Restaurants around here serve it like that, I do it when I cook meals at home, a lot of the people I know do this, and I was raised eating both on the plate (as were my parents and grandparents). If you walk into any "country diner" in my part of the world you'll find this on the menu. I think some of this does go back to our strong Scotch Irish heritage (as someone else mentioned, in Ireland and England it's not uncommon to see two kinds of potatoes on a plate and my British husband concurs) and also because I live in a poor part of the country and starches are cheaper than most proteins. We got hit hard by the Depression and then by WWII. Starches were cheaper and able to feed large families easier. 

Regardless, I love it. Macaroni and tomato juice, mashed potatoes, cornbread, and salmon patties is my favorite meal and I will never give it up.

[Dot]

48 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

 

Regardless, I love it. Macaroni and tomato juice, mashed potatoes, cornbread, and salmon patties is my favorite meal and I will never give it up.

Of that, I only find the cornbread palatable. Oh, wait -- the mashed potatoes, too. As for the rest -- gag! 😖