Small Talk: Who to Marry, Where to Live, and Other Non-Show Stuff

[Jellybeans]

Ever read the Bible?  Arranged marriages were common in biblical times, although most often chosen by the parents.  Adam and Eve being the first arranged couple, LOL.

Don't forget all the polygamists in the Bible too. LOL.

[Jellybeans]

Anyway, when I asked about matchmaking, I meant like a real in-person matchmaker. Do people still do that?

If they could do it in a way were most couples made it work I think most people would do it. Saves time! :-)

[algebra]

I was a liberal till I came to my senses. Lived on an Indian reservation and saw the alcoholism, apathy, despair, flat affect, bad teeth, premature aging, obesity, but I didn't know what caused it.

Then I spent 3 years working with immigrants from the former Soviet Union and saw all the same things. Once I realized what socialism does to people, I became a conservative and never looked back. Those liberal socialist ideas of yours destroy human beings. So I couldn't live with a liberal, ever!

[Waterlilly]

Happy Father's Day to all you dads! You are the example your daughters look at for husbands. Teach them to be true to themselves and never settle. #bestdadsever

[rulesoftravel]

 

Most bleeding heart liberals aren't exactly in love with Obama right now.

I would marry President Obama if my husband and Michelle would let me.  Now there's a reality show.

Edited June 22, 2015 by rulesoftravel

[Bella]

GAAAHHHH!!!!

 

POLITICAL TALK!!!!

 

YOUR LEAD MOD IS GOING TO HAVE A HEART ATTACK!

 

TAKE IT AWAY, TAKE IT AWAY, TAKE IT AWAY, PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!!!

 

 

Seriously, there are only about 829,482,048,291,837,092 places to discuss politics online, and we prefer that this forum not be one of them.

 

Thanks!

[rulesoftravel]

I see and obey... 

Edited June 22, 2015 by rulesoftravel

[essexjan]

I just saw a trailer for Married at First Sight - UK. Starts tomorrow. I had no idea it was being run here. Can't wait! I think it's made by the same company as made First Dates (where people in a restaurant are filmed on their first date, addictive TV). I hope the UK version isn't the trainwreck we've just seen in the USA.

[DangerousMinds]

Are they getting legally married in the UK?

[okerry]

Anybody here watching Seven Year Switch? Is there a forum for it yet? I looked, but didn't see one -

[Aethera]

Anybody here watching Seven Year Switch? Is there a forum for it yet? I looked, but didn't see one -

 

I hadn't heard of this yet...interesting! You can request a forum if you want. Instructions here :)

[ethalfrida]

Okay, did I fall asleep and miss the MAFS lookback? Next thing I know I'm throwing snark at 7YI... which I actually did fall asleep on.

[ethalfrida]

I just saw a trailer for Married at First Sight - UK. Starts tomorrow. I had no idea it was being run here. Can't wait! I think it's made by the same company as made First Dates (where people in a restaurant are filmed on their first date, addictive TV). I hope the UK version isn't the trainwreck we've just seen in the USA.

I couldn't find the UK version listed in my tv search. Do have more information like channel/network?  DaaY, time?

[Bella]

Okay, I'm at my mom's this week and not really modding.

However ... do we want to pick another country's version of this show and watch it as a group? It would need to be one where we could get free and legal online access.

Think and discuss, and then maybe I can set up something in the forum once I'm back next week.

[Pollock]

I couldn't find the UK version listed in my tv search. Do have more information like channel/network?  DaaY, time?

It's on Channel 4 http://www.channel4.com/programmes/married-at-first-sight

[ethalfrida]

Thank you!

[MsPH]

Little known fact: We had a version of this show in Finland, which aired earlier this year. It was filmed last summer and the weddings happened a bit over a year ago. Two of the couples remained married and still seem very happy if their SM and blogs are any indication. One of the couples just never had that spark so they divorced, but they remain friends and actually just celebrated their wedding anniversary together as friends. I think that's a pretty fine job considering the total number of applicants was around 200 including all the people who were immediately turned down. Two of the participants were actually friends/acquaintances of the producers. They all seemed very genuine though, as did the experts. There will be second season this fall.

 

The only thing that really differed from the American version is that their sex lives weren't discussed on camera, or at least those discussions weren't shown, despite one of the experts being a sex (and psycho-) therapist. I was a bit surprised by that since it's not like Finns are conservative or anything. I think it might've just helped with finding sane people willing to take part.

 

There also wasn't much drama, probably because we're not very temperamental people, but I prefer that. It will be interesting to see if they manage to mess up the second season, since the first season paralleled the American version in so many ways.

[ethalfrida]

The few days I spent in Finland had me amazed at the progressive environment created through art, history and social and quiet natue of everyone I met. The US is rather garish and immature when it comes to sex whereas the rest of the world seems more refined.

[Nffftshewasgone]

Can someone tell me how this website figures out what time something is posted?

I'm in Central and Eastern is an hour ahead;it seems the server or wherever this site originates is somewhere in the mid Atlantic according to the time it says my posts are made.

Just curious :)

[frenchtoast]

You select the time zone in your profile, so all the posts timestamps will reflect that. Which means that when you are quoted it will show that person's timestamp. I think. Not the most tech minded here.

 

Also, there is a Site Business area for the site where some stuff is explained, a place to ask questions, report bugs etc. Hope this helps!

[Nffftshewasgone]

Thanks so much! I must admit that I haven't paid much attention to my profile or the rest of the site, but will look around. Really came to the site searching for answers about this crazy show!

[zxy556575]

When I watch MAFS, I always think about the movie "The Way We Were" with Barbra Streisand pursuing Robert Redford.

 

When I was young (ahem) I had a girl-next-door, Kit Hoover kind of cuteness going on, which naturally some men are into and others are not. I had a crush on one of the latter type of guys at work, and made it a point to woo him -- flirting, joking, asking him out for lunch. We started dating and eventually got married, but you know the outcome, right? He left when he happened to meet someone who was exactly his type. Did he ever love me? Of course, but I never, ever hit that sweet spot with him on looks.

 

When I subsequently experienced one of those immediate, urgent thunderbolts myself, I could see in hindsight that what I had with my first husband was, in comparison, a pale and milky sort of love.

Edited February 27, 2016 by lordonia

[Meliss]

Lordonia

So from your experience, if you are not a person's type & they are not initially attracted to you, the marriage or relationship is less likely to work out?

I think I agree with this. A lot of people (especially viewers of MAFS) really stress how attraction is not that important & that feelings can develop. That is also what the experts keep saying, too.

This tv show is all about matching couples & seeing what happens, so they should try to get to know each other for the sake of the experiment. But, truly, how many relationships work if one person is going against their nature?

Also, I think men are less likely to stay if not physically attracted, than women are. I think our society pressures women more to overlook a man's physical attractiveness.

For instance, if a woman does not find a man attractive or her type, people say things like "she thinks she's too good for him" or "she must think she is attractive/good-looking" or that she is "stuck up" or "shallow." Conversely, when a man does not find a woman attractive, those things are rarely brought up. It's like, well, he just wasn't attracted, what can you expect?

What do you think, is there a difference between men and women in this issue?

Edited February 27, 2016 by Meliss

[Lola16]

I don't know.  I have had that thunderbolt type of chemistry with 4 guys and of the 3 I dated, oh gawd.  Yea, parts of the relationship were great but other parts, not so good. All were roller coasters of emotions.  I'd rather have mental chemistry and baseline attraction than the other way around.  At least that's how I feel now!

[okerry]

Lordonia

So from your experience, if you are not a person's type & they are not initially attracted to you, the marriage or relationship is less likely to work out?

I think I agree with this. A lot of people (especially viewers of MAFS) really stress how attraction is not that important & that feelings can develop. That is also what the experts keep saying, too.

This tv show is all about matching couples & seeing what happens, so they should try to get to know each other for the sake of the experiment. But, truly, how many relationships work if one person is going against their nature?

Also, I think men are less likely to stay if not physically attracted, than women are. I think our society pressures women more to overlook a man's physical attractiveness.

For instance, if a woman does not find a man attractive or her type, people say things like "she thinks she's too good for him" or "she must think she is attractive/good-looking" or that she is "stuck up" or "shallow." Conversely, when a man does not find a woman attractive, those things are rarely brought up. It's like, well, he just wasn't attracted, what can you expect?

What do you think, is there a difference between men and women in this issue?

In General: I think you'll find that men are either physically attracted or not almost immediately. That doesn't mean they won't still have sex. When they do, the women think that means the man is attracted. Not necessarily. This is a source of huge confusion among women and is also why any woman looking for a long-term relationship is advised not to sleep with a man right away.

 

Women are sometimes kind of "meh" about a guy at first, but can warm up to him over time if he's good with some courtship and presents himself well. That's what we saw Doug do with Jamie, and even if that was largely fake he did show us what that looks like.

 

Biologists say that there are ancient survival strategies at the heart of these attitudes, not cultural pressures. A male who jumps at the chance to mate with anything available will leave more offspring behind. A female, though, needs to be more selective about who fathers her children so that she's getting the best genes and the best provider for them.

 

Things like this fascinate me. :)

[WichitaStateShock]

In General: I think you'll find that men are either physically attracted or not almost immediately. That doesn't mean they won't still have sex. When they do, the women think that means the man is attracted. Not necessarily. This is a source of huge confusion among women and is also why any woman looking for a long-term relationship is advised not to sleep with a man right away.

Women are sometimes kind of "meh" about a guy at first, but can warm up to him over time if he's good with some courtship and presents himself well. That's what we saw Doug do with Jamie, and even if that was largely fake he did show us what that looks like.

Biologists say that there are ancient survival strategies at the heart of these attitudes, not cultural pressures. A male who jumps at the chance to mate with anything available will leave more offspring behind. A female, though, needs to be more selective about who fathers her children so that she's getting the best genes and the best provider for them.

Things like this fascinate me. :)

Yep, I was meh at first with my fiance but once I got to know his personality I was like "dang, this man is hot". Attraction can grow but I'm sure in this pressure cooker of a situation not being attracted to the person sure doesn't set it up for success

[sosie]

Filipinos are considered the most hospitable people in Asia. I can testify this myself since I’m happily married to a Filipina. She has all the traits I want my wife to have. She is just so perfect to me. Now, she’s bearing our first child. I am so excited! I am so happy being with her.

 

I met my wife in an Asian date tour. Since then, my life changed for the better. She was the one who filled this emptiness in me. She literally completed my life. Right after our marriage, I began embracing the Filipino culture. I studied some traits, culture and traditions and applied it to myself and to our home. I guess, this is a good act to show my wife I value her culture.

 

Behaving like a true Filipino is not hard nor is it easy but it came naturally to me. Now, I’m enjoying our married life. In 5 months’ time, we’ll be welcoming our first baby, our first blessing. We’ll raise the baby with pure love and affection. I’ll teach our child the good traits his mom has.

 

What about your marriage story? Share your experiences and let’s talk about it.

[2727]

Moved over from the episode thread:

4 hours ago, Madding crowd said:

So many people have this thing where they don't want someone who wants them back and it is so destructive.

I was listening to Dax Shepard's podcast and he mentioned that he didn't understand any of the Weinstein type power shit, because what turns him on is being wanted. Like, forcing or manipulating someone into bed or chasing someone who wasn't interested would be completely un-sexy to him. It just struck me as such a normal thing to say, and I wished more of the men on MAFS could be like him.

His guest during that episode was Ashton Kutcher and when the talk turned to golf, they both said they didn't play and had a hearty laugh at the thought that their wives would be okay with them going off for 5-6 hours for 18 holes and a hang with the guys for a drink while the wives stayed home with the kids. Of course Ryan wouldn't see a thing wrong with it!

Edited March 22, 2018 by 2727

[Ohwell]

Yay!  I found it!  The Small Talk Thread!

Of course I'm no Mod but can't we just talk about our personal stuff here, instead of in the episodes?

[Soup333]

@configdotsys I know you posted in the spoiler thread but I didn’t want anyone to get their knickers in a knot if I replied to you there. Sorry to hear your update. This is an absolutely crazy time right now. I’m thinking about you.

How is everyone doing? I’m actually glad to have trash tv like this. Keeps my mind off everything else. For a while anyway. 

[configdotsys]

16 hours ago, Soup333 said:

@configdotsys I know you posted in the spoiler thread but I didn’t want anyone to get their knickers in a knot if I replied to you there. Sorry to hear your update. This is an absolutely crazy time right now. I’m thinking about you.

How is everyone doing? I’m actually glad to have trash tv like this. Keeps my mind off everything else. For a while anyway. 

Thanks for the shout out. I'm on lockdown at home for the foreseeable future except when I have to go for a chemo infusion every third week. That's a pretty scary thing for me since there are others at the infusion center. I have a mask and gloves though and bring sanitizer with me. Still, it feels like the world has gone crazy. With all the cases here in NYC, I'm surprised at the number who are not doing the distancing thing. 

[Soup333]

1 hour ago, configdotsys said:

Thanks for the shout out. I'm on lockdown at home for the foreseeable future except when I have to go for a chemo infusion every third week. That's a pretty scary thing for me since there are others at the infusion center. I have a mask and gloves though and bring sanitizer with me. Still, it feels like the world has gone crazy. With all the cases here in NYC, I'm surprised at the number who are not doing the distancing thing. 

There are a lot of people not distancing. Especially now that it’s finally warm outside where I am. There’s no way my neighbors are going to stop barbecuing and having all the neighborhood kids over.

It’s going to get more difficult the longer it goes on. I don’t know how life will ever be the same. It’s terrifying.

My sister’s girlfriend has lung cancer. She’s okay but she’s on lockdown as well. Bored as heck but I’m glad y’all are safe. 

[Yeah No]

  11 hours ago, @JapMosaid:

Quote

 

When you appeared on Rachel Ray as an audience guest, did they pay you for that, or were you just stopped by someone on the show standing outside trying to get people to come in?

Years ago on my husband and my first trip to California, a nice person stopped us on the street in L.A. and asked if we wanted to be in the audience for the game show Concentration (I know some of you remember that).  We thought OK, cool.  Little did we know they were taping like 5 shows and we could not leave.  We were stuck there, and OMG all they wanted us to do was clap the entire time.  My hands were red from all the clapping, and we wasted almost a whole day of our vacation being locked in a soundstage.

 

Quote

 

OMG, I remember Concentration!  I had completely forgotten about it until you mentioned it!

Actually, I applied on the RR show website for free tickets to see the show and one of the check boxes asked if you would be interested in appearing on the show and it gave a list of upcoming topics, one of which was "Are you going through menopause and feel like a different person sometimes?", to which I answered "yes", LOL.  The next thing I knew a few weeks later I got a phone call from a producer who asked me about a zillion questions and said she thought I would be a great fit for an upcoming segment with an author who had written a book about menopause and the different ways women are affected by it.  The premise was that the author would use my experience (and that of two other women) to highlight some of the points in her book.  

I was not paid for my appearance, but I was given a limo. ride to the studio from my father's apartment in NYC, where I was staying at the time (and of course a ride back).

I wasn't really happy with my experience overall, but I'll save the rest of that story for the small talk thread.

 

Well, here we are in the Small Talk Thread....

I find it highly ironic that the last post was about Covid and was made on the day my father died of Covid in NYC..... 😪

Anyway, the reason I wasn't completely happy with my experience on the Rachael Ray Show is because of a few things, which actually turns out to be a long story, LOL.

First, the producer asked me leading questions on the phone about whether I felt like I was moodier and not as nice with people during menopause as before.  I said "yes" to being moodier and "yes" to sometimes being more short tempered, but I didn't say I had become a full-on bitch or anything.  Then when we were all in the green room on the morning of the show, the other women and I were extensively coached on what we were going to be asked, and given an opportunity to somewhat rehearse our answers.  So I never expected them to deviate from any of this.  The question I was going to be asked was like the one the producer had asked me over the phone.  Well, when the author questioned me during the actual filming, she threw me a whammie/curve ball and asked me how long it had been since I had turned into a mean, difficult person (or something to that effect).  Given that we were filming, there was no way I could say, "Time out, stop the tape, I have NOT become a mean, difficult person!"  I was almost literally thrown off my seat!  How could they DO this to me???  I didn't know who to blame, her or the show for this!  But anyway, I stuck to my rehearsed answer and prefaced it with, "Well, I don't think I've become a mean/difficult person, but I have felt moodier and not always as nice with people as I was before".  I mean, what a thing to do to a person on national TV - make everyone that may only know me peripherally think I'm really some sort of mean bitch!

What really pissed me off is that the other two women were given really softball questions and looked like wonderful people by comparison.  Anyway, that was the main thing that bothered me, but there's more!

The second thing that bugged me is that Rachael's show has always been legendary for having fantastic food for guests in the green room before filming.  What did we get?  A tray of sad looking grapes and pineapple chunks with toothpicks.  Literally.  Like, could they spare it?  On a show that brags about how well they feed their guests?  I guess we didn't rate anything better than that!

The third thing that bugged me is that after our segment was finished filming we were immediately escorted off the set, however we were all under the impression from what had been communicated to us beforehand that we were going to be allowed to stay in the audience to watch the rest of the filming of the episode.  It took several minutes of us begging and pleading with the stage manager before we were told that they'd "find out" if it was possible.  Seriously?  What are we, chopped liver?  Like there were some open seats in the back, it's not like they would have to put up folding chairs or anything!  Finally, after what seemed like forever, we were told we could go up to a balcony where we could watch the rest of the show.  We climbed up a staircase and found ourselves in a little "theatre" of 2 rows of seats - all of which were empty.  Like they knew they had this area but we still had to beg and plead to stay?

It was fascinating to watch the rest of the show and it took another hour and a half at least before it was finished.  But I was left with a bad taste in my mouth by the experience (and was literally starving after all that time).  I had heard rumors that Rachael was a bitch but I never believed stuff like that.  Now I wasn't so sure.  I realize she may not have known about this stuff, but it IS her show, after all.

It also hurt because I bear a resemblance to Rachael (I am 10 years older than her to the DAY) and we share an almost identical ethnic background.  Plus I was always into cooking like her and could relate to her stories about her Sicilian family.  I was a big fan of hers up until that point.  I remember when they sat me and the other women in the front row before our segment was filmed, she was standing on the stage waiting for things to begin.  She locked eyes with me for a moment and I smiled at her, but she didn't even register my existence even though she was only a few feet away and definitely saw me.  You would think she'd have some reaction to someone that looked more like her sister than her own sister!  Anyway, I was never as much of a fan of hers after that.

So anyway, you asked, LOL. 😉 

Edited October 17, 2020 by Yeah No

[Hangin Out]

On 10/16/2020 at 11:34 PM, Yeah No said:

  11 hours ago, @JapMosaid:

Well, here we are in the Small Talk Thread....

I find it highly ironic that the last post was about Covid and was made on the day my father died of Covid in NYC..... 😪

Anyway, the reason I wasn't completely happy with my experience on the Rachael Ray Show is because of a few things, which actually turns out to be a long story, LOL.

First, the producer asked me leading questions on the phone about whether I felt like I was moodier and not as nice with people during menopause as before.  I said "yes" to being moodier and "yes" to sometimes being more short tempered, but I didn't say I had become a full-on bitch or anything.  Then when we were all in the green room on the morning of the show, the other women and I were extensively coached on what we were going to be asked, and given an opportunity to somewhat rehearse our answers.  So I never expected them to deviate from any of this.  The question I was going to be asked was like the one the producer had asked me over the phone.  Well, when the author questioned me during the actual filming, she threw me a whammie/curve ball and asked me how long it had been since I had turned into a mean, difficult person (or something to that effect).  Given that we were filming, there was no way I could say, "Time out, stop the tape, I have NOT become a mean, difficult person!"  I was almost literally thrown off my seat!  How could they DO this to me???  I didn't know who to blame, her or the show for this!  But anyway, I stuck to my rehearsed answer and prefaced it with, "Well, I don't think I've become a mean/difficult person, but I have felt moodier and not always as nice with people as I was before".  I mean, what a thing to do to a person on national TV - make everyone that may only know me peripherally think I'm really some sort of mean bitch!

What really pissed me off is that the other two women were given really softball questions and looked like wonderful people by comparison.  Anyway, that was the main thing that bothered me, but there's more!

The second thing that bugged me is that Rachael's show has always been legendary for having fantastic food for guests in the green room before filming.  What did we get?  A tray of sad looking grapes and pineapple chunks with toothpicks.  Literally.  Like, could they spare it?  On a show that brags about how well they feed their guests?  I guess we didn't rate anything better than that!

The third thing that bugged me is that after our segment was finished filming we were immediately escorted off the set, however we were all under the impression from what had been communicated to us beforehand that we were going to be allowed to stay in the audience to watch the rest of the filming of the episode.  It took several minutes of us begging and pleading with the stage manager before we were told that they'd "find out" if it was possible.  Seriously?  What are we, chopped liver?  Like there were some open seats in the back, it's not like they would have to put up folding chairs or anything!  Finally, after what seemed like forever, we were told we could go up to a balcony where we could watch the rest of the show.  We climbed up a staircase and found ourselves in a little "theatre" of 2 rows of seats - all of which were empty.  Like they knew they had this area but we still had to beg and plead to stay?

It was fascinating to watch the rest of the show and it took another hour and a half at least before it was finished.  But I was left with a bad taste in my mouth by the experience (and was literally starving after all that time).  I had heard rumors that Rachael was a bitch but I never believed stuff like that.  Now I wasn't so sure.  I realize she may not have known about this stuff, but it IS her show, after all.

It also hurt because I bear a resemblance to Rachael (I am 10 years older than her to the DAY) and we share an almost identical ethnic background.  Plus I was always into cooking like her and could relate to her stories about her Sicilian family.  I was a big fan of hers up until that point.  I remember when they sat me and the other women in the front row before our segment was filmed, she was standing on the stage waiting for things to begin.  She locked eyes with me for a moment and I smiled at her, but she didn't even register my existence even though she was only a few feet away and definitely saw me.  You would think she'd have some reaction to someone that looked more like her sister than her own sister!  Anyway, I was never as much of a fan of hers after that.

So anyway, you asked, LOL. 😉 

I never this was here, so here I am.  I never liked her and don’t like her cooking.  I watched a few times in the beginning and don’t like what she makes.  She opens up cans,uses lots of red onion and garlic and spices.  My husband is Italian and his stomach would blow up if he ate all that spicy stuff.  Younger people can eat all that stuff she makes, but hot sauce and everything she uses is not for older people.  Lots of celebrities we know are actually nasty in real life.  I don’t watch Ellen too, and I heard she is nasty too.  Just ranting about these phonies.  Anyhow, I’m surprised you had to be disappointed after going thru all that trouble of seeing her show.  Now, let’s talk about Wendy and Kelly Ripa, lol.  No, I won’t go there.  I’ll stick to TCM like an ole fart.  And the marriage shows, the housewives shows and the one where regular people marry a millionaire.  Forgot the name.  Two young girls in their early twenties marry guys with money that are in their 60’s and 70’s.  Yikes!  Yeah, they love them .. lol.

Edited October 18, 2020 by Silver Bells

[Crashcourse]

I used to watch Rachel Ray years ago when she had her first show, and I liked her then because her cooking was much simpler.  I recall that she made tasty-looking "sammiches," the ones you'd want to eat while watching football on the couch.  She also seemed nice and friendly.  I don't watch her show now so I don't know what she's like, but the descriptions of her food just makes my stomach ache.

Edited October 18, 2020 by Crashcourse
"show" not "shoe"

[Hangin Out]

On 4/4/2020 at 4:56 PM, configdotsys said:

Thanks for the shout out. I'm on lockdown at home for the foreseeable future except when I have to go for a chemo infusion every third week. That's a pretty scary thing for me since there are others at the infusion center. I have a mask and gloves though and bring sanitizer with me. Still, it feels like the world has gone crazy. With all the cases here in NYC, I'm surprised at the number who are not doing the distancing thing. 

I’m sorry to hear that.  I hope everything will come out o.k. with you.❤️

[gingerandcloves]

So interesting, Yeah No! I'd be pissed too if the producers did me like that. Plus, how cheap about the  green room food. I actually own a bunch of Rachael Ray cookware that I like, but I've heard rumors that she is not a nice person. Makes me wish I had known that about her before I bought the cookware. I do think she is very pretty though, so if you look like her, I'm sure you are too.

[Yeah No]

14 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

I never this was here, so here I am.  I never liked her and don’t like her cooking.  I watched a few times in the beginning and don’t like what she makes.  She opens up cans,uses lots of red onion and garlic and spices.  My husband is Italian and his stomach would blow up if he ate all that spicy stuff.  Younger people can eat all that stuff she makes, but hot sauce and everything she uses is not for older people.  Lots of celebrities we know are actually nasty in real life.  I don’t watch Ellen too, and I heard she is nasty too.  Just ranting about these phonies.  Anyhow, I’m surprised you had to be disappointed after going thru all that trouble of seeing her show. 

I guess I'm lucky that I can still eat all that stuff, but her recipes are often just not appetizing these days anyway.  Too much of everything!  She is a phony.  She puts on an act of being a nice person but it is obviously an act, IMO.

11 hours ago, Crashcourse said:

I used to watch Rachel Ray years ago when she had her first show, and I liked her then because her cooking was much simpler.  I recall that she made tasty-looking "sammiches," the ones you'd want to eat while watching football on the couch.  She also seemed nice and friendly.  I don't watch her show now so I don't know what she's like, but the descriptions of her food just makes my stomach ache.

I have thought that myself, that her recipes used to be better and simpler.  I wouldn't make any of her recipes now.  None of them appeal to me plus they often have too many ingredients.  I watched some of the first episodes of "30 Minute Meals" on "On Demand" and it was like watching a completely different person.  That was the person I originally liked, but the one I see now, not so much.  I think fame and fortune changed her, but I hear that she was always considered "bossy" even in high school.

9 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

So interesting, Yeah No! I'd be pissed too if the producers did me like that. Plus, how cheap about the  green room food. I actually own a bunch of Rachael Ray cookware that I like, but I've heard rumors that she is not a nice person. Makes me wish I had known that about her before I bought the cookware. I do think she is very pretty though, so if you look like her, I'm sure you are too.

Awww, thank you, that's sweet of you!  I remember after I appeared on the show I thought to myself that maybe she snubbed me because she didn't like seeing what she was going to look like in 10 years, LOL.  And it's funny because I was 52 when I appeared on the show and she's 52 now and I did look more like her when I was the same age as her.  Only I have blue eyes while hers are brown, and she has a bigger mouth than I do (although it has seemed to shrink with age).  Getting older sucks, LOL.  I have her cookware too despite feeling that she's not so nice.  I've tried other cookware but keep coming back to hers.  I somehow get it at a good price or she has a pan that no one else has, so I end up with it.  

I did feel sorry for her for a few minutes this summer when I heard that her house in upstate NY burned down from a chimney fire that wasn't her fault because there were clear records indicating that it had been cleaned out regularly.  The whole house had to be bulldozed.  Of course she has a beautiful and spacious guest house on the property that her and her husband are living in until the main house is rebuilt.  She's broadcasting her talk show from there during the pandemic.  My husband told me not to feel that sorry for her because it was probably covered by insurance plus being so rich she's not as put out by it than the rest of us would be.  She did lose all her cookbooks, recipe notes and clothing and some other personal effects, though.  Her kitchen was largely spared so she might recoup a lot of that stuff.

It does piss me off because she became rich and famous from sheer luck - being in the right place at the right time with the right thing (and she has acknowledged this).  When I think of how many people could have done what she does better it boggles my mind.  Most of us aren't so lucky.  I sometimes think that if my mother were alive (she died almost 20 years ago) she would have had a similar fascination for Rachael despite not really liking her because she would have seen the similarities between us.  It amazes me that someone with so much in common with me could be so different at the same time....We have the same initials, born on the same month and day 10 years apart, almost identical ethnic background on the same sides of the family, both from NY, same height, same hair, same body type/facial structure, same look, our mothers were the same age when we were born, etc., etc., it goes on and on but I won't bore you with all of it, LOL.  I think the main difference is that she is a huge extrovert while I am very much an introvert.  Plus my mother would have told me I'm much nicer and have more class than her, LOL.

Edited October 19, 2020 by Yeah No

[cardigirl]

On 10/16/2020 at 11:34 PM, Yeah No said:

  Anyway, the reason I wasn't completely happy with my experience on the Rachael Ray Show is because of a few things, which actually turns out to be a long story, LOL.

First, the producer asked me leading questions on the phone about whether I felt like I was moodier and not as nice with people during menopause as before.  I said "yes" to being moodier and "yes" to sometimes being more short tempered, but I didn't say I had become a full-on bitch or anything.  Then when we were all in the green room on the morning of the show, the other women and I were extensively coached on what we were going to be asked, and given an opportunity to somewhat rehearse our answers.  So I never expected them to deviate from any of this.  The question I was going to be asked was like the one the producer had asked me over the phone.  Well, when the author questioned me during the actual filming, she threw me a whammie/curve ball and asked me how long it had been since I had turned into a mean, difficult person (or something to that effect).  Given that we were filming, there was no way I could say, "Time out, stop the tape, I have NOT become a mean, difficult person!"  I was almost literally thrown off my seat!  How could they DO this to me???  I didn't know who to blame, her or the show for this!  But anyway, I stuck to my rehearsed answer and prefaced it with, "Well, I don't think I've become a mean/difficult person, but I have felt moodier and not always as nice with people as I was before".  I mean, what a thing to do to a person on national TV - make everyone that may only know me peripherally think I'm really some sort of mean bitch!

What really pissed me off is that the other two women were given really softball questions and looked like wonderful people by comparison.  Anyway, that was the main thing that bothered me, but there's more!

I'm so sorry you had such a sour experience being on that show.  As I was reading this, I kept thinking about MAFS and how we all come to conclusions about the participants based on what we are shown in the 60 to 120 minutes each week about these couples.  Seems like your experience kind of informs us as to how tricky reality tv can be.  You thought you were going to be genuinely asked about your experience with menopause and instead you were portrayed in a certain way to fit their narrative. Nothing about the REAL you was in the show. And you, rightfully so, felt betrayed and frustrated. Imagine doing that for eight weeks. Anyway, I think it's a great example of what goes on behind the scenes as opposed to what is actually broadcast. 

Thanks for sharing!

[Hangin Out]

6 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I guess I'm lucky that I can still eat all that stuff, but her recipes are often just not appetizing these days anyway.  Too much of everything!  She is a phony.  She puts on an act of being a nice person but it is obviously an act, IMO.

I have thought that myself, that her recipes used to be better and simpler.  I wouldn't make any of her recipes now.  None of them appeal to me plus they often have too many ingredients.  I watched some of the first episodes of "30 Minute Meals" on "On Demand" and it was like watching a completely different person.  That was the person I originally liked, but the one I see now, not so much.  I think fame and fortune changed her, but I hear that she was always considered "bossy" even in high school.

Awww, thank you, that's sweet of you!  I remember after I appeared on the show I thought to myself that maybe she snubbed me because she didn't like seeing what she was going to look like in 10 years, LOL.  And it's funny because I was 52 when I appeared on the show and she's 52 now and I did look more like her when I was the same age as her.  Only I have blue eyes while hers are brown, and she has a bigger mouth than I do (although it has seemed to shrink with age).  Getting older sucks, LOL.  I have her cookware too despite feeling that she's not so nice.  I've tried other cookware but keep coming back to hers.  I somehow get it at a good price or she has a pan that no one else has, so I end up with it.  

I did feel sorry for her for a few minutes this summer when I heard that her house in upstate NY burned down from a chimney fire that wasn't her fault because there were clear records indicating that it had been cleaned out regularly.  The whole house had to be bulldozed.  Of course she has a beautiful and spacious guest house on the property that her and her husband are living in until the main house is rebuilt.  She's broadcasting her talk show from there during the pandemic.  My husband told me not to feel that sorry for her because it was probably covered by insurance plus being so rich she's not as put out by it than the rest of us would be.  She did lose all her cookbooks, recipe notes and clothing and some other personal effects, though.  Her kitchen was largely spared so she might recoup a lot of that stuff.

It does piss me off because she became rich and famous from sheer luck - being in the right place at the right time with the right thing (and she has acknowledged this).  When I think of how many people could have done what she does better it boggles my mind.  Most of us aren't so lucky.  I sometimes think that if my mother were alive (she died almost 20 years ago) she would have had a similar fascination for Rachael despite not really liking her because she would have seen the similarities between us.  It amazes me that someone with so much in common with me could be so different at the same time....We have the same initials, born on the same month and day 10 years apart, almost identical ethnic background on the same sides of the family, both from NY, same height, same hair, same body type/facial structure, same look, our mothers were the same age when we were born, etc., etc., it goes on and on but I won't bore you with all of it, LOL.  I think the main difference is that she is a huge extrovert while I am very much an introvert.  Plus my mother would have told me I'm much nicer and have more class than her, LOL.

Oh Geeze, I missed your post where you stated you looked like her.  I LOVE Rachel Ray!  Like I love you too, lol.  I LOVE her food, pots & pans, etc, lol.  It’s amazing that you both have so many similarities.  What the heck?  I’m not bored by anyone’s stories either.  Much better than the show.  You should write her a letter.  Maybe you are cousins or something.  I think she has another home in TriBeCa.  P.s.  I just tuned in to Drew Barrymores show (Monday), and guess who’s on?  Rachel Ray, making soup.  Already with the garlic, onions, hot red pepper flakes etc.  Drew is throwing the food all over the stove.  She’s such a ditz, and hyper.

Edited October 19, 2020 by Silver Bells

[gingerandcloves]

It would be interesting to see your DNA results, I wonder if you are related to her in some way. Sure seems like you might be, Yeah No.

[Hangin Out]

Dear @Yeah No .. If I wasn’t clear up there, I really can’t stand Rachel Ray for some reason, but I do like you even tho you two might be related, lol.  Xo

[antfitz]

On 5/11/2015 at 2:06 PM, Neurochick said:

 

Wow, you really DO have manners, I would have smacked the shit out of him, thrown him out the house and told him if he ever called me again I would call the police.  Yes, I love cats.  

 I'm allergic to animals, but even so I would not want them in the house.  To each his own. But I bet they didn't talk about that in the interviews. If they had talked about it previously, they would not a pair a cat lover with someone who doesn't want one.  So it is the fault of the matchmakers or "experts."

Edited October 21, 2020 by antfitz

[antfitz]

I've been married many years, and luckily my husband agrees with me. My deal breakers are: Pets in the house, too much drinking (alcohol ism), laziness re jobs, filthy, creepy sex stuff, cheating, and some politics.

Am I the only one who heard Amelia say that she didn't really want to get married, but thought being on a reality show would be fun???   I haven't read anybody's comments about that.

Edited October 20, 2020 by antfitz

[Kira53]

22 minutes ago, antfitz said:

I've been married many years, and luckily my husband agrees with me. My deal breakers are: Pets in the house, too much drinking (alcohol ism), laziness re jobs, filthy, creepy sex stuff, cheating, and some politics.

Am I the only one who heard Amelia say that she didn't really want to get married, but thought being on a reality show would be fun???   I haven't read anybody's comments about that.

I'd like to wait and hear the whole piece because I'm sure it's heavily edited anyway.

[Yeah No]

18 hours ago, cardigirl said:

I'm so sorry you had such a sour experience being on that show.  As I was reading this, I kept thinking about MAFS and how we all come to conclusions about the participants based on what we are shown in the 60 to 120 minutes each week about these couples.  Seems like your experience kind of informs us as to how tricky reality tv can be.  You thought you were going to be genuinely asked about your experience with menopause and instead you were portrayed in a certain way to fit their narrative. Nothing about the REAL you was in the show. And you, rightfully so, felt betrayed and frustrated. Imagine doing that for eight weeks. Anyway, I think it's a great example of what goes on behind the scenes as opposed to what is actually broadcast. 

Thanks for sharing!

Thanks, it was a real letdown at the time.  And yes, I have thought about how shows like MAFS can do something similar and railroad you into a persona that fits their chosen narrative for you, but doesn't represent you in a flattering light (nor represent you at all).   Which is one reason I resist seeing Brett as a villain - I just have a feeling that the show wants us to see him that way and has heavily edited some of his scenes to fit that narrative.  I still think he's somewhat douchey, just not quite as bad as they're making him look.  Like it was true that sometimes I got in a bad mood when going through menopause, but I was nowhere near the raving bitch the show was trying to make me look like.  I remember afterwards asking my husband if I was really all that bad and he reassured me that I was not (and he wouldn't be one to lie about that to me, LOL).  I was NOT expecting the show to do that to me.  The way the producer introduced it to me was nothing like that at all. 

A year or so later Rachael's show featured a high school student on who wanted to lose weight, so they sent her to some kind of rigorous "fat camp" that had her doing all sorts of extreme physical challenges (kind of like Biggest Loser only even more severe if you can imagine that).  The trainer had her hike up this treacherous trail that was clearly too difficult for her and then chastised her for wanting to stop.  She pushed her so far past her ability level that she tripped and injured herself and needed a helicopter to lift her out!  They actually aired all of this on the show.  She backed out of the whole thing after that so the show never got to claim her as a "success story", plus Rachael put her down as "not really wanting help", which knowing what I knew at that point was a really low thing to say after railroading her and her injuring herself like that.  Several months later it was reported that the young woman brought a lawsuit against the show for her ordeal.  Whatever happened after that was never made known.  She probably settled out of court with them.  I can only wonder what crap she had to endure behind the scenes to make her go to that extreme - what she went through on-screen was bad enough!  I remember finding her on Facebook and telling her what happened to me - she wasn't able to say much because of her lawsuit but she told me my story sounded similar in some ways to hers and thanked me for reaching out!

 

 

[Yeah No]

15 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Oh Geeze, I missed your post where you stated you looked like her.  I LOVE Rachel Ray!  Like I love you too, lol.  I LOVE her food, pots & pans, etc, lol.  It’s amazing that you both have so many similarities.  What the heck?  I’m not bored by anyone’s stories either.  Much better than the show.  You should write her a letter.  Maybe you are cousins or something.  I think she has another home in TriBeCa.  P.s.  I just tuned in to Drew Barrymores show (Monday), and guess who’s on?  Rachel Ray, making soup.  Already with the garlic, onions, hot red pepper flakes etc.  Drew is throwing the food all over the stove.  She’s such a ditz, and hyper.

 

6 hours ago, gingerandcloves said:

It would be interesting to see your DNA results, I wonder if you are related to her in some way. Sure seems like you might be, Yeah No.

She once gave the name of the town in Sicily that her grandfather came from and it's only about 40 miles away from the town my family is from.  I have often wondered if DNA would show any relationship between us.  I don't think I'd ever write to her, not after my experience on the show.  I don't think she's interested in knowing me.  I don't think I would feel that way if my experience on the show wasn't such a let down.  Plus there was the way she completely ignored me when I caught her eyes and smiled at her.  It just felt very cold.  

The interesting thing is that Sicilians can run the gamut in terms of appearance so when I see Sicilians that resemble my family I always wonder if we're related.  My grandparents were divorced and when my grandfather died I had to go up to Montreal to his funeral.  I have tons of Sicilian relatives up there that I don't know.  I remember my mother saying hello to everyone at the funeral and telling me how I was related to them, but it went in one ear and out the other (I was in my 20s).  I remember seeing a young woman about my age there that looked shockingly like me - I remember walking up to her and both of us immediately broke out laughing.  The first thing I said to her was "I think we must be related somehow".  I forget now but she was probably a second cousin or something.  It's too bad that I don't know that family at all.  I don't have any siblings or first cousins and I don't know anyone else either.   I have reached out to some I've found online after being matched by DNA but we share some correspondence and that's usually it.

5 hours ago, Silver Bells said:

Dear @Yeah No .. If I wasn’t clear up there, I really can’t stand Rachel Ray for some reason, but I do like you even tho you two might be related, lol.  Xo

Hey no worries, I don't much like her either, LOL.  It's funny how you can share a lot in common with someone yet be so different at the same time.  Hard to explain!

[Hangin Out]

On 10/19/2020 at 10:22 PM, antfitz said:

I've been married many years, and luckily my husband agrees with me. My deal breakers are: Pets in the house, too much drinking (alcohol ism), laziness re jobs, filthy, creepy sex stuff, cheating, and some politics.

Am I the only one who heard Amelia say that she didn't really want to get married, but thought being on a reality show would be fun???   I haven't read anybody's comments about that.

I think I did hear something like that along the line.  I also agree with you about the deal breakers.  

[antfitz]

On 10/19/2020 at 9:46 PM, Kira53 said:

I'd like to wait and hear the whole piece because I'm sure it's heavily edited anyway.

 You are probably correct.

[Kira53]

On 10/21/2020 at 9:52 AM, Silver Bells said:

I think I did hear something like that along the line.  I also agree with you about the deal breakers.  

I think when she was able to be married to a man that she was already attracted to, BENNETT, she changed her mind about wanting to be married.