Quotable Quotes: Lines from TV You've Made Your Own

[ABay]

From Psych: "It was yellow. Und boring."

[caprice]

I just remembered one I used to use a lot. It wasn't from a show, but a commercial, and I no longer remember if they were selling insurance or a car. It was pretty simple, just a man talking about life and how things had changed for him post-college, especially since the birth of his first child.

 

It still amazes me how easy it is to use: "That's my job, that's what I do," in everyday conversation.

[Portia]

Another favorite Hyacinth quote comes from the Keeping Up Appearances ep with the baptism of Daisy's granddaughter:  "Kylie. What sort of name is that for a Christian person?"  That line comes in handy when I hear that a baby has been given a trendy and/or stupid name.

[zxy556575]

Another one from Seinfeld that my sister and I use with each other when there's an event we don't want to go to: "Ya gotta see the baaaaaby."

 

Plus, as my avatar might suggest, a ton of Simpsons stuff. :)

Edited July 14, 2014 by lordonia

[ABay]

Two from comedy routines that I think more than I say:

From Dave Attell: I don't have to drink to have a good time. I have to drink to stop the voices in my head.

From Ron White on being arrested while drunk: At that point, I had the right to remain silent. But I no longer had the ability.

[tennisgurl]

Thanks to Keeping Up Appearances, whenever my Mom and I are driving together, if we see any walkers or joggers, one of us has to say "Mind the pedestrians!" as loudly as possible.

 

And, it may be a coincidence, but ever since I binge watched Spartacus and Shameless back to back, my language has become slightly more colorful...

Edited July 14, 2014 by tennisgurl

[Lovecat]

"IT TASTES LIKE PINK! PIIIIIINK!!" ~Rachel Berry, Glee (Blame It on the Alcohol)  I bust this one out whenever I'm enjoying a sweet girly drink that happens to be pink.

 

I've always wanted to use "I'm sorry I'm late, my hammer got stuck in the door of the bus," [Raj Koothrapali, The Big Bang Theory (The Middle Earth Paradigm)] but haven't yet found the right context.  Also, I don't think anyone would get it.  Alas!

[blueray]

I've always wanted to have a reason to quote a rule of acquisition from Star Trek: DS9 . "Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than a question is an answer"

[ramble]

Warehouse 13:

"Fool, we're not the B team. We're the second A team."

My youngest kiddo keeps trying to find ways to work this in & it's harder than you think.

Edited July 16, 2014 by ramble

[topanga]

From psych: "I've heard it both ways"

 

 

Yes! I still use that one, too.

 

And from Veronica Mars:

 

• You stand. Idly. By.
• Whoop-de-do, Veronica Mars. [And yes, I say "Veronica Mars."]
• Did you guys call each other? [To anyone at work or home who happens to be dressed similarly]
• So what's it gonna be, girlie girl?  .

Edited July 16, 2014 by topanga

[Oosala]

 

Both quotes are from Keeping Up Appearances which is the most quotable show ever.

 

So True!  I've been known to say the occasional "Awww, nice," just like Onslow.  And now I must prepare the table for my candlelight supper.

Edited July 16, 2014 by Oosala

[Portia]

We're having lovely, spring-like weather here, so I think I'll organize a picnic--er, a waterside supper with riparian entertainments.

[Brandi Maxxxx]

Another Simpsons one: some variation of "No, just candy, Ned! Ninety dollars!" at the idea of using an object for something other than its intended purpose.

[Jeebus Cripes]

I've also been know to use a few Sienfeldisms..."No soup for you!"; "These pretzels are making me thirsty"; "Serenity now!"; "Not that there's anything wrong with that!"

 

I frequently use all of the above, and Elaine's "GET OUT!"

 

And, it may be a coincidence, but ever since I binge watched Spartacus and Shameless back to back, my language has become slightly more colorful...

 

Try adding Deadwood to the mix. I use "cunt" and "cocksucker" with alarming regularity. Other vulgar quotes I enjoy saying: "Juno's cunt! Must I slap you?!" from Rome. “The Snake returns walking upright as if it were human” from Spartacus; only I usually shorten it to "walking upright as if human" and my mom immediately gets the reference. Also, "Words fall from mouth as shit from ass." Batiatus was a goldmine of awesomely filthy quotes.

[BabyVegas]

Aaron Sorkin may be a troubled man but he's a troubled man who can write such good lines. "Just be wrong. Just stand there in your wrongness and be wrong and get used to it."

Also at work yesterday I finally got to quote the delightful Alec Hardsison. "I'm just very good at what I do. Age of the geek, baby!"

Also tomorrow I'm flying with a friend of mine who is a terrible flyer. I'm trying to decide if I want to recite Parker's version of the safety lecture to her. (She's a fan too. It's actually how we became friends.) But I don't want her to actually freak out.

[BoogieBurns]

"IT TASTES LIKE PINK! PIIIIIINK!!" ~Rachel Berry, Glee (Blame It on the Alcohol)  I bust this one out whenever I'm enjoying a sweet girly drink that happens to be pink.

 

@Lovecat That's funny, one of my quotable quotes is almost exactly the same. From Gilmore Girls, "This Tastes Pink. Really Pink. Its Really Bad; It's like Drinking a My Little Pony." – Luke

 

Guess drinks just taste pink sometimes, you know.

[Sandman87]

Invader Zim was a goldmine of useful phases for my daily life:

When someone asks me a "why" question - "THE PANTS COMMAND ME! DO NOT IGNORE MY VEINS!"

For dumb questions - "Good question. I don't care!"

And for smack-talk you can't beat... - "Lemony fresh victory shall be mine!"

[bosawks]

Designing Women "She doesn't have the sense god gave a goose."

[RubyWoo72]

When our kids were little and we asked them to show someone something that they could do, or now when we ask the dogs to perform a trick, and they don't do it, one of us will inevitably start singing "Hello, my honey, hello, my baby......"

Extra props to anyone old enough to know what that means :)

I'd do that with our cat and (very gently) take her paws and mimic the frog's little dance. Kitty was not amused.

Invader Zim was a goldmine of useful phases for my daily life:

When someone asks me a "why" question - "THE PANTS COMMAND ME! DO NOT IGNORE MY VEINS!"

For dumb questions - "Good question. I don't care!"

And for smack-talk you can't beat... - "Lemony fresh victory shall be mine!"

My kids would hang around the kitchen with that super-high-pitched, "You makin' BIS-kits??" (They told me it was from that show, so pardon me if they just made that shit up.)

Also, from the same show (and I actually saw this one): "I am normal."

[smittykins]

Also, I tend to irritate my husband by answering the phone like this "The ... residence, the lady of the house speaking."

Hijack:  I always thought it was weird how Alice Nelson would use "Brady residence."  I didn't know anyone who answered the phone like that.

 

And if commercials count, I still say "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now."  Especially during my approximately 379 daily trips to the bathroom, thanks to being on Lasix.

[Sandman87]

Yeah, GIR is all about the BIS-kits. And piggies. And waffles. And the angry monkey. And...well, everything really.

 

Speaking of commercials, Lipton's Cup-A-Soup campaign from the 70's lives on in my house: "Is it soup yet?"

[Jeebus Cripes]

Two more from Deadwood: "Be fucked!" and "I apologize." I also use "gratitude" from Spartacus instead of saying "thank you."

 

And if commercials count, I still say "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now."  Especially during my approximately 379 daily trips to the bathroom, thanks to being on Lasix.

 

My niece used to sing this when she was a toddler, and I would crack up.

[Jamoche]

due South: "For reasons that do not need explaining at this juncture..."

 

Babylon 5: "Always a boom tomorrow."

 

and Dexter's Laboratory: "What does this button do?" In Deedee's voice, of course.

[Luckylyn]

"Apologies" -  various characters (Spartacus)

 

"The thing about youth culture is, I don't understand it."  - Leslie Knope (Parks and Recreation)

[Rick Kitchen]

Sheldon, in "Big Bang Theory:" I am not crazy, my mother had me tested.

[RubyWoo72]

"Git ta steppin'!" (Martin) And, come to think of it, I think EVERYBODY took "You GO boy/ girl!!" from his tv wife, Gina.

[ABay]

I'm waiting for the opportunity and balls to give this answer from The Closer when asked "You think you can do better?": "I'd be ashamed if I couldn't."

[BoogieBurns]

Does Jerry Springer count as a show we can quote? Because two girls were screaming a each other and the one sitting down told the one standing up that she'd better "Step the back up."

 

Hahaha. We say that all the time and usually act out what "Stepping the back up" may actually look like. It's the least effective method of getting someone out of your face. More of a dance move, really.

[RubyWoo72]

Omg yes. A "Step off" and "Back the fuck up" hybrid. I'm halfway ashamed to admit I saw that too but I want to say it was Maury. In any case, I'm sure your pantomime of it is hilarious!

Edited July 21, 2014 by RubyWoo72

[BoogieBurns]

May have been Maury, RubyWoo72. It could have even been Jenny Jones. That may have been the best line ever spoken, and it has made my life richer ever since. 

[Snowprince]

I stole "God'll get you for that" from Maude.
 

[ABay]

This is actually from the original radio play of The Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams (I actually hear the voice of The Book in my head as I type that):

"Civilizations rise and fall and rise again. There will, one day, be lemon-soaked paper napkins. Until then, there will be short delay."

 

I usually only say the middle part, in situations where long-term plans are being discussed by administrators, or any time it seems apt, really.

Edited July 22, 2014 by ABay

[SVNBob]

In a perfectly cromulent bit of timing, here's a list from Uproxx of the 20 most likely Simpsons quotes to be used in everyday life.

[ZaldamoWilder]

"There's no crying in baseball!"  A League of Their own.   Since I don't chew cherry tabbaccy snuff, I've gotta lean hard on the "crying" for a little extra stink.

 

"It wasn't not funny"  - only reality tv veterans know where and who this came from.

 

Almost every damn thing from The Color Purple but especially:  ".....and when I see'd you in that store Miss Celie, I know dey is a God"

 

"Good day sir {person starts to interrupt} I. SAID. GOOD. DAY!"  I don't know where that came from, but I heard it on That's So Raven. 

 

"Who gone check me boo"  RHoA <-  I actually have said that in real life but only to my good good girlfriends.  I've been dying to use it in a packed conference room though.

[Shannon L.]

 

"Good day sir {person starts to interrupt} I. SAID. GOOD. DAY!"  I don't know where that came from, but I heard it on That's So Raven.

Tootsie with Dustin Hoffman.

[kiddo82]

I've stolen so many things over the years it's a little unsettling to see the original quotes/inflections after years of using them, realize that I've been saying them for so long I forgot they weren't my original thoughts, then have a mini crisis wondering if I have any original thoughts at all.

Here are a few I know I've stolen:

From Friends, when a drunken Rachel wants to borrow someone's phone in a restaurant and he is hesitant to comply she says "You're being a little weird about your phone." To this day, former college roommate and I still say "Okay, you're being a little weird about X" when one of us has a strange attachment to something.

I can't come across anyone named "Lois" without dissolving into fits of "Lois. Lois. Lois..." a la Stewie from Family Guy.

And I will sing the Monorial Song from The Simpsons when the situation is appropriate.

Edited July 25, 2014 by kiddo82

[ZaldamoWilder]

Tootsie with Dustin Hoffman.

 

and now I can see it in my head.  LOL, thanks Shannon! 

[BoogieBurns]

From Friends, when a drunken Rachel wants to borrow someone's phone in a restaurant

 

That's the same episode where Rachel leaves Ross a voicemail. She says (in the voicemail) "I am. over. you." Then he responds... "When were you...under me?"

[bettername2come]

Two Boy Meets World quotes I use fairly frequently: "That's niiiice" from the episode where Shawn joins a cult. Which isn't much of a quote, but I use the same inflection Cory does to make the reference. And "That farmhouse. There." Especially if someone is lost after very simple directions.

 

And for Veronica Mars, recently I have taken to saying, "Take that, high school guidance counselor!" after every accomplishment,

[Luckylyn]

"It wasn't not funny"  - only reality tv veterans know where and who this came from.

I know this is from Tami (Real World season 2 or 3) after the blanket incident.  Should I be embarrassed by how vividly I remember it?   In my defense,  Real World didn't suck back then. 

[Portia]

Did anybody besides me watch Little Britain? Because like that show's unconvincing transvestites, I like to proclaim myself a "laaaady" who likes to wear laaaady clothes and do laaaady things. Also thanks to that show, I look for opportunities to use the phrase "the only gay in the village." Yeah, I get a lot of blank stares.

[ABay]

I've often quoted two of the Geico ads:

Madest thou look!

Sorry, Daisy. But I'm a loner, and a loner's gotta be alone.

[xyzzy]

Whenever a certain friend of mine starts blathering on aimlessly I will interrupt him with, "You is talky meat. Don't make me come down there."

[ABay]

Heh. I use "Shut! Shut! You is talky meat!" to the cat chorus at dinner time.

[ZaldamoWilder]

I know this is from Tami (Real World season 2 or 3) after the blanket incident.  Should I be embarrassed by how vividly I remember it?  

 

If you're a bird, I'm a bird.  (™ R. Gosling) LOL!!!

 

In my defense, Real World didn't suck back then.

 

 

True story.

[SistaLadybug]

I use 'craptacular' as a word, from the Simpsons. See also: 'cromulent' and 'boo-urns.'

I am also a lover and user of "boo-urns".  I use it when something is just absolutely awful.  Just the worst.  It's too bad for even "boo".  It's "boo-urns".

[SistaLadybug]

Others:

From Designing Women: I always threaten to buy a baby wig for bald babies, including my own daughter who was bald as an eagle for her first year of life.  And I always have to say it in Suzanne's voice.  Also, someone's brother (? Was it Suzanne and Julia's brother who was mentally ill and a comedian) did a monologue where he talked about nude vs. naked vs. nekkid.  Whenever I use "nekkid", I have to add, "That's when you're naked and you're up to somethin'."

 

From Will & Grace: "Hi, Poodle!"  I say that to my daughter every day when I see her after work.  In Karen's voice, of course.  We also tend to pull our shirts up and bump tummies.  We are ridiculous.

 

From Game of Thrones: Whenever I'm feeling crappy - "And what do we say to the god of death?  Not today."

 

From South Park: People are always invited to "help [themselves] to pound cake and ice cream" when they've done something nice for me.  Also, to greedy people (this works particularly well around my brother who doesn't so much eat food as inhales it and his one-year-old son who is known to sneak food off someone else's plate): "No, Starvin Marvin!  That's a bad Starvin Marvin!  That's Kenny's food!"

 

From King of the Hill: "You can give me the stink eye all you want!"

 

From Martin (well ... from Sheneneh): "Awh awhiiiight" and "Are.  You.  Crazy?  Are you CRAZY?"

[cpcathy]

"I'm no hero. I put my bra on one boob at a time"--Tina Belcher, Bob's Burgers

 

A classic:

 

"I hate you guys"--Cartman, South Park.

[spaceytraci1208]

From King of the Hill, I definitely do Hank's "I'll tell ya what..."; did it at work today, actually lol

[RubyWoo72]

As a kid, I used to tell people to "kiss my grits," because Alice was my jam back then.