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S02.E29: Catch Me if You Con


OnceSane
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30 minutes ago, Rescue Mama said:

I don't know why but I kind of like Shane. He has the best grammar of any of them for one. I wonder if his malicious wounding story is true.

What was the story? Couldn’t decipher Shane’s mumbled justification. 

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7 hours ago, Jade Foxx said:

What was the story? Couldn’t decipher Shane’s mumbled justification. 

Ive watched a lot of MSNBC lockup so I'm pretty fluent in convict mumbles.  

As far as I could tell, this guy, a friend showed Shane some dirty pictures of kids on his phone.  This made Shane mad and he just started beating the guy until he lost an eye.  And while he took the law into his own hands he, the hero of this story, ended up going to jail for 4 years and no one even arrested the other guy!

Now, being well versed in these matters, I call shenanigans because everyone knows that the highest class of criminal in prison is the anyone who fucks up a child molester.  Child molesters are gross. 

 HOWEVER, it's a good way to "justify" beating a guy so bad that he is missing an eye, so I don't believe that some guy just randomly showed Shane some illegal pics of kids and caught a beating.  

But I believe that's the story that puts Shane in the best light.  

Edited by RealReality
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7 hours ago, Armchair Critic said:

Blonde hair and boobs have blinded many fools

And apparently Shane knows about blinding people.  WTF

Lizzie and Daniel were disgusting.  I think so many of Daniel’s family showed up just to get on teevee.

Vince and the adoption - Hahahaha!  Couldn’t get the extra money because Puppy is in the pokey.  Amber, self-admitted hustler, didn’t go far enough in her googling on that scam.

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7 hours ago, RealReality said:

I feel like conspiracy to scam the federal government is a court martial. 

But I can see why Amber is working so hard to get everyone to think that Vince is smart enough to be the brains behind this scam because I don't think slow vince came up with this on his own. 

But two grifting convicts......I'd buy that.

Also, to puppy's mom....as a taxpayer...I also don't have extra money to put on your convict daughter's books.  Sorrynotsorry.

Yes! And wtf is this nonsense about adopting a grown adult, especially an adult OLDER than you? Is this really a thing? I am going to go "adopt" all my friends so I can claim them on my taxes! 

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6 hours ago, RealReality said:

Ive watched a lot of MSNBC lockup so I'm pretty fluent in convict mumbles.  

As far as I could tell, this guy, a friend showed Shane some dirty pictures of kids on his phone.  This made Shane mad and he just started beating the guy until he lost an eye.  And while he took the law into his own hands he, the hero of this story, ended up going to jail for 4 years and no one even arrested the other guy!

Now, being well versed in these matters, I call shenanigans because everyone knows that the highest class of criminal in prison is the anyone who fucks up a child molester.  Child molesters are gross. 

 HOWEVER, it's a good way to "justify" beating a guy so mad that he is missing an eye, so I don't believe that some guy just randomly showed Shane some illegal pics of kids and caught a beating.  

But I believe that's the story that puts Shane in the best light.  

But that’s the thing his story changed lol  first at that sit down with her friend it was “defending” himself but in a “good way” and the other guy got hurt. Which made it sound like he was attacked and he didn’t mean to hurt the guy defending himself . Then at the beach the story turned into the dude showed him “pictures” and he took the law into his own hands. The dudes obviously lying I am now curious what really happened lol. My guess is it wasn’t so altruistic. And if the picture story is true why tell them a different story altogether the first time? Why not just say I attacked a pedo and got arrested? Why because the world knows you are lying dude lol 

Edited by Keywestclubkid
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WHAT the hell did we just watch y’all? This show officially jumped the shark with the Puppy adoption storyline! That I Am Sam dude adopted a HUMAN puppy? And the “after sex” interview with Lizzie and Mr Umbrella tattoo? Wtf WAS that? Are they angling for an amateur porn career?  Fuck me if the only person I can almost route for on this shit show is the malicious wounder Shane! 

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41 minutes ago, Hannah94 said:

Yes! And wtf is this nonsense about adopting a grown adult, especially an adult OLDER than you? Is this really a thing? I am going to go "adopt" all my friends so I can claim them on my taxes! 

So, this actually happened in that famous dog mauling case in SF. That's the only reason I ever knew it ever happened.  For some reason, this attorney and her husband adopted this like 30 year old white supremacist dog breeder who sold them the dogs who mauled Diane Whipple to death.

I can't remember why, it had something to do with sex and being a "family."

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sfgate.com/entertainment/amp/Dog-mauling-author-reveals-world-of-lust-in-which-2566657.php

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 So I think it’s safe to say since Vince contacted Amber about the adoption scam, that he most likely contacted her to try to set up this little reality TV scam correct? They didn’t write loving words. These two don’t know one thing about each other it’s obvious. I’ve had pen pals before, and you can’t help me get to know one another through letters unless they’re just putting in zero effort. It’s actually harder to put in no effort than just write about your day. There’s absolutely nothing between Vince and Amber. They’re a scam. He wants money. And there’s no way we’re going to see Glorietta’s man.  I doubt will ever see these two together. I’ll be surprised 

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Daniel & Lizzy are SO skanky. The post coital interview on the couch, smoking, eating Cheetos or something. 

I imagine the house smelling like cigarettes, spunk, and dirty feet. 

I think Daniel’s mom is an awful woman. She looks and sounds like trash. I’m not a fan of Daniel (or Lizzy) but damn his family grilling him on his crimes at his welcome home celebration. Low class. 

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24 minutes ago, RealReality said:

So, this actually happened in that famous dog mauling case in SF. That's the only reason I ever knew it ever happened.  For some reason, this attorney and her husband adopted this like 30 year old white supremacist dog breeder who sold them the dogs who mauled Diane Whipple to death.

I can't remember why, it had something to do with sex and being a "family."

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.sfgate.com/entertainment/amp/Dog-mauling-author-reveals-world-of-lust-in-which-2566657.php

My gosh that was quite the rabbit hole I just went down!

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Did anyone notice that during the laundry room sex scene <shudders> Daniel's hair had grown out. Yet the caption said, "1 day out of prison". Then when he went to see his mom (and in the rest of the episode) he had the weird buzz cut again. 

(Please don't tell me it's because of producer shenanigans. Because this is a reality show. And that means everything has to be For. Real. ) 😂

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11 hours ago, beesknees said:

Slow-assed and slow-eyed Vincent wants to adopt two grown women in order to get scammed pension money from the government?  Unveils his plan on national TV no less?  Air Force to Vince - "These are your dishonorable discharge papers, sir." 

My dad was a Marine and my brother was in the Air Force.  My dad used to rank on/tease the hell out of my brother and say "The Air Force...  Also known as 'Jerry Kids'." Hmmm, I am kind of seeing that now?  🧐

ETA:  No offense to anyone in the Air Force, my dad was wrong for sure, however, I'm completely perplexed as to how Vince got through basic training let alone sustain a career in the military. 😩

The men in my family were all Navy, and they talked up the Air Force like it was the be all, end all, highest military branch one could aspire to, and they were afraid they wouldn't pass their stringest recruiting requirements...

Yet Vince got in.  Go figure.  

11 hours ago, RealReality said:

I feel like conspiracy to scam the federal government is a court martial. 

But I can see why Amber is working so hard to get everyone to think that Vince is smart enough to be the brains behind this scam because I don't think slow vince came up with this on his own. 

But two grifting convicts......I'd buy that.

Also, to puppy's mom....as a taxpayer...I also don't have extra money to put on your convict daughter's books.  Sorrynotsorry.

Hmmm...that's a very good point.  Maybe he sent out those 10 letters to random inmates looking for someone to help him carry out some sort of charade, and Amber knew how to make it happen (almost...probably a lot closer than he would have gotten on his own).

10 hours ago, Anonysaurus said:

I wonder if Vince got medically discharged from the Air Force. After this episode aired, I actually googled "does the Air Force require an IQ test" because I could not believe how dumb he is. Maybe he got too many concussions or got a traumatic brain injury or something. He for sure is getting scammed by these two women.

See my comment above about my Navy family members thinking the Air Force was the most elite of military branches.  

If Vince was this fucking dumb at the time of his enlistment, there's no fucking way getting into the Air Force can be difficult. 

I'm leaning towards some sort of head injury, too, probably because I have such a damned hard time wrapping my brain around someone being so utterly stupid.  

5 hours ago, DiamondGirl said:

Lizzie and Daniel were disgusting.  I think so many of Daniel’s family showed up just to get on teevee.

"I can't believe all of these people showed up!"

I can believe it, numbskull...They wanted to be on TV and have access to all of that free food.  

3 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

Yes! And wtf is this nonsense about adopting a grown adult, especially an adult OLDER than you? Is this really a thing? I am going to go "adopt" all my friends so I can claim them on my taxes! 

Right?  What a bunch of crazy bullshit.  

I do hope someone with connections saw this episode and reports Vince for these shenanigans, whether they were his idea, Amber's idea, or both of them, he still legally adopted that hoochie with the intention of scamming extra money on his pension.  Good thing she's still in prison and he can't collect on her.  

2 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Lacy is saying to us that she’s known John for 15 YEARS but she’s telling Shane they met a year ago?!?!

WTF was that about?  Did we ever get any further explanation?  One minute she's telling the camera she and John had known each 15 years...but I have no recollection of her saying this at any point up until now.  I thought she met him through some prison "dating" site in the last year or so.

These chucklefucks can be so confusing.  

2 hours ago, Cammi said:

 So I think it’s safe to say since Vince contacted Amber about the adoption scam, that he most likely contacted her to try to set up this little reality TV scam correct? They didn’t write loving words. These two don’t know one thing about each other it’s obvious. I’ve had pen pals before, and you can’t help me get to know one another through letters unless they’re just putting in zero effort. It’s actually harder to put in no effort than just write about your day. There’s absolutely nothing between Vince and Amber. They’re a scam. He wants money. And there’s no way we’re going to see Glorietta’s man.  I doubt will ever see these two together. I’ll be surprised 

Makes me wonder if he sent out those 10 supposedly random letters with this scam in the back of his mind and thought he'd get a girlfriend to boot.  

"Hey, you don't know me but I've got an idea where maybe if you help me we can start putting money on your books and you can pay me back with sexy times when you get out.  Hit me back.  Love, Vacuous Vince."  

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11 hours ago, RealReality said:

I feel like conspiracy to scam the federal government is a court martial. 

But I can see why Amber is working so hard to get everyone to think that Vince is smart enough to be the brains behind this scam because I don't think slow vince came up with this on his own. 

But two grifting convicts......I'd buy that.

Also, to puppy's mom....as a taxpayer...I also don't have extra money to put on your convict daughter's books.  Sorrynotsorry.

Yes no  cash!!!  We the people are already providing three hots and a cot!

There's a million suckers like Vince!  Reel em in!!!!!!

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3 hours ago, JenE4 said:

This Glorietta is a trip! Why’d they hold out on us? “He’s my everything hashtag everything! ... I love to go on dates, whether it’s on a boat or a train.” A wedding vision scrapbook! 

Mom, Tammy, is even better! In response to “and he sings really nice”: “What is he going to sing to you, ‘Jailhouse Rock’?” And to “and he comes from a nice family”: “Ted Bundy came from a nice family!”

This “hot spring” is a dirty heated pool in a strip mall?

Shane punched somebody’s eyeball out of his head and these two dolts think this was a good thing?!?!

Vince is adopting a fleet of adult prisoners to claim as dependents on his “secret government” payout?!?!? What?!?!? Um, looks like next season will be Vince with the photo on the right with FRAUD underneath. 

Here comes Ed Beagly Jr to play bounty hunter with Angela.

What’s more awkward—sex on the laundry room floor or being interviewed afterward about it in underwear and blankets?

Lacy is saying to us that she’s known John for 15 YEARS but she’s telling Shane they met a year ago?!?!

It's probably best to just go along and smile big!!!

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So Vince is claiming that he wanted to get the extra pay for his 'dependent' (30+year old Puppy) and then he'd split it between the 2 women?  I couldn't really figure out what they got out of it otherwise, plus it would have only been about $120 for each one. I also don't see how someone over 18 who isn't in college or totally disabled can be a dependent (for IRS purposes), no matter what. 

Makes about as much sense as Shane's fake ass story/excuse about his crime. I have to say that Lacey actually looked pretty with minimal makeup when they were at the beach; she has nice skin.

So when we first met her, Lizzie was fearful of Daniel's reaction to her weight gain, but now she apparently thinks nothing of baring her flabby body and sitting on his crotch ON CAMERA? Guess she got over it. I noticed she pulled the blanket up to cover her third nipple (or whatever it is) in the post-sex scene. Also, even though I'm starting to detest Lizzie, Daniel's mother attacking her for 'dreaming' about a better life was straight-up psycho.

Glorietta is kind of appealing in a low IQ, holy eye makeup Batman kind of way. Her BF, though, does indeed look like a serial killer (thanks, Gloria's mom!), and his 'song/singing' was frightening. Also, here's another 30+ woman dreaming of a Kate Middleton-level wedding, including enormous diamond rings.

So glad not to have to see Andrea and her pop eyes.

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Whoa. I'm totally overwhelmed by Glorietta. First of all the name. Then her incarcerated fiancee is the next "Justin Beaver" and she likes anything to do with (not) going on dates....Green Eggs and Ham style. Then the immovable eyebrows,  no matter what schizophrenic facial  expressions are made. Plus her Mama tweaks too! 

Lacey is such a wonderful mother that I forgot she even had kids. I'm getting zero Mom vibes from this one. Every time I see her, all I think is "Snausages!" If Shane's story about his charge is true I don't blame him at all. He should've gotten up and left her on the beach

Am I supposed to believe that VINCE masterminded a whole adoption scheme?? No ma'am I do not.

I really could have gone without seeing two pasty bodies canoodling in the laundry room. Thanks. 

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4 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

But that’s the thing his story changed lol  first at that sit down with her friend it was “defending” himself but in a “good way” and the other guy got hurt. Which made it sound like he was attacked and he didn’t mean to hurt the guy defending himself . Then at the beach the story turned into the dude showed him “pictures” and he took the law into his own hands. The dudes obviously lying I am now curious what really happened lol. My guess is it wasn’t so altruistic. And if the picture story is true why tell them a different story altogether the first time? Why not just say I attacked a pedo and got arrested? Why because the world knows you are lying dude lol 

I bet the real story is something silly like the guy called him a pussy or looked at his girlfriend.

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1 minute ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

Shane:  My trust in Lacey went from here (holds hand up high) to here (holds hand down low). I mean, my trust in her went from high to low. 

Thanks, Shane!  If Vince watches I'm sure he needs that explanation.  I'm sure the rest of us were good with the visuals. 

Hey maybe Shane can be the new Vanna White.

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Military members get more pay and better housing if they are married.  

This is fairly well known so I can maybe see slow vince wanting to marry anyone so he could get a bigger check and live in a house instead of barracks.  

But trying to scam more government money by adopting puppy?  I think that was all Amber and Puppy.  That is far too many pieces for Vince to put together.  He looks like he has to actively remember to breathe.  

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34 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

How exactly did Tony "excape" from the half way house when he did not return before curfew?  He didn't Shawshank his way out.  Although I wouldn't be surprised if he decided being covered in raw sewage was preferable to sexy times with Angela. 

I think they meant he went AWOL.  

With Vince admitting he never had a girlfriend I wonder if he is a virgin.  He has no game.  Maybe he paid for a rub and tug.

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44 minutes ago, PrincessPurrsALot said:

How exactly did Tony "excape" from the half way house when he did not return before curfew?  He didn't Shawshank his way out.  Although I wouldn't be surprised if he decided being covered in raw sewage was preferable to sexy times with Angela. 

For federal inmates, there is no parole. So they get halfway house time.  The best way to think about it is that you’re still in prison, but with a wider fence. A lot of inmates don’t even want halfway house time and will refuse it if they can. Usually those are the ones that go right back to prison. Halfway houses are very very strict. They are to prepare the inmate for the real world. But they have curfews, they have to sign out everywhere they go. One of my relatives even had to sign up for meals and if he didn’t, then he didn’t eat. In some ways it’s worse than prison. Because if you have an addict in a halfway house, they do weekly piss tests. Where as the prison does not. Also, drugs are readily available in prison but you’ll get caught at the HH. If you don’t return at the scheduled time for the halfway house, or check back in by calling them when they want you to, or even forget to sign out, they can send you back to prison. It’s considered escape. You’ve left the bounds of their “fence”. The counselors always prepare the inmate by saying, “you’re STILL in prison. You belong to the BOP, the halfway house is just a bigger prison.” So Tony “escaped” when he didn’t return at his curfew. The Feds will get him for sure. 

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1 hour ago, RealReality said:

But trying to scam more government money by adopting puppy?  I think that was all Amber and Puppy.  That is far too many pieces for Vince to put together.  He looks like he has to actively remember to breathe.  

So true, lol. Funny how Amber presented it as all Vince's idea . . . and then he spills the beans and says they were all in on it together, including Puppy. And then all of a sudden, Puppy's mom is on board!

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I'm actually OK with Vince adopting Puppy. It's a bit of a noble act. And if he can get a little extra allowance from the military to help offset the food, medical bills, and housing? Why the heck not?

But what I really need to know is: Labrador? Goldendoodle? Siberian Husky?

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1 hour ago, RealReality said:

Military members get more pay and better housing if they are married.  

This is fairly well known so I can maybe see slow vince wanting to marry anyone so he could get a bigger check and live in a house instead of barracks.  

But trying to scam more government money by adopting puppy?  I think that was all Amber and Puppy.  That is far too many pieces for Vince to put together.  He looks like he has to actively remember to breathe.  

Do we know that Vince is military?  I'm really not sure where he's employed.  Heck he might empty garbage cans at Fort Knox!

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3 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

WTF was that about?  Did we ever get any further explanation?  One minute she's telling the camera she and John had known each 15 years...but I have no recollection of her saying this at any point up until now.  I thought she met him through some prison "dating" site in the last year or so.

These chucklefucks can be so confusing.  

I'm pretty sure she said she had known John in High School.

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3 hours ago, Persnickety1 said:

"I can't believe all of these people showed up!"

I can believe it, numbskull...They wanted to be on TV and have access to all of that free food.  

That was the saddest excuse for a party i’ve seen! What food? Three people had water bottles, and the little girl had a pudding cup. That’s it! Then again, I got really distracted by looking at all of the “collectibles” in that aunt’s house that maybe I missed the food in the foreground. I couldn’t get past that odd railing “protecting” a ring bearer pillow as if it were keeping throngs of tourists away from the Mona Lisa. Then there was a small curio cabinet brimming with dolls.

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Amber told Puppy's mother that Vince came up with the idea of adopting her (Amber) and she acted like she thought it was weird.  Vince tells the mother it was the 3 of them that came up with the idea.  Mother finds out Puppy has been adopted by Vince but they will not get any extra money because of the incarceration, all three are stupid and did not do all the research.  Amber and Puppy are running a scam on Vince,   He appears to be too dumb to realize it.  Amber and Puppy are obviously a couple.   Not sure if Puppy's mom knew what they were up to, it didn't seem like she knew.

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1 hour ago, Jeanne222 said:

Do we know that Vince is military?  I'm really not sure where he's employed.  Heck he might empty garbage cans at Fort Knox!

Amber keeps saying it, so I don't know.  I cannot believe the military would be okay with an active duty member doing a show like this. 

I wouldn't trust Vince at a job empying garbage cans.   Too many steps and he'd end up someone falling headfirst into a garbage can.  

22 minutes ago, LucyEth said:

Amber told Puppy's mother that Vince came up with the idea of adopting her (Amber) and she acted like she thought it was weird.  Vince tells the mother it was the 3 of them that came up with the idea.  Mother finds out Puppy has been adopted by Vince but they will not get any extra money because of the incarceration, all three are stupid and did not do all the research.  Amber and Puppy are running a scam on Vince,   He appears to be too dumb to realize it.  Amber and Puppy are obviously a couple.   Not sure if Puppy's mom knew what they were up to, it didn't seem like she knew.

I don't see how any meaningful research was done, but it makes more sense that Amber keeps trying to drop hints that Vince is "really smart" and "intelligent"

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4 hours ago, Spike said:

With Vince admitting he never had a girlfriend I wonder if he is a virgin.  He has no game.  Maybe he paid for a rub and tug.

I’ve actually wondered that a couple of times. 

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9 minutes ago, DanaMB said:

I’ve actually wondered that a couple of times. 

I don't think he is a virgin because he isn't a bad looking guy.  At the very least he is a butterface.  And he seems okay with a girl who has a little meat on her bones and isn't stunningly pretty.  

So I think he has had sex, but I think these girls "hit it and quit it" because they sobered up and tried to have a conversation with him and realized that he was not relationship material.

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20 hours ago, beesknees said:

Okay. Shane to Lacey - "I hit a guy a few times and put his eye out. He lost an eye."  Lacey to Shane - "You did the right thing."  Say what now? 👁️

Not to mention, Shane said the guy got away with it, while he got 4 years in jail.  No, the guy lost an eye, idiot.  That's a forever thing.

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12 hours ago, JenE4 said:

This Glorietta is a trip! Why’d they hold out on us? “He’s my everything hashtag everything! ... I love to go on dates, whether it’s on a boat or a train.” A wedding vision scrapbook! 

Mom, Tammy, is even better! In response to “and he sings really nice”: “What is he going to sing to you, ‘Jailhouse Rock’?” And to “and he comes from a nice family”: “Ted Bundy came from a nice family!”

Tammy had some zingers!  There was also reference to him wearing a skin suit.  And her eyes were a-rollin' at everything Glorietta said about her love.  Looking forward to some more Tammy!

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8 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

Do we know that Vince is military?  I'm really not sure where he's employed. 

See the gossip article link in the Vince & Amber thread. It says Vince recently left the Air Force (although it doesn't say why he left)🙄

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4 hours ago, PityFree said:

Two more thoughts:

I’m still shocked that Amber and Vince discussed tax fraud on television.

And, thanks to Glorietta, I now know how low the standards are for car show models. 

I think she meant she likes when guys pull a train on her when she said she enjoys romance on a train.

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22 hours ago, hookedontv said:

Daniel & Lizzy are SO skanky. The post coital interview on the couch, smoking, eating Cheetos or something. 

I imagine the house smelling like cigarettes, spunk, and dirty feet. 

I think Daniel’s mom is an awful woman. She looks and sounds like trash. I’m not a fan of Daniel (or Lizzy) but damn his family grilling him on his crimes at his welcome home celebration. Low class. 

I think Mom is either the child of an alcoholic or was married to one. She is obsessed over Lizzy having a drink. I didn’t see anything to indicate Lizzy is a falling down drunk, so this has to be coming from somewhere else. 

I’m voting for Glorietta and Mom to have their own show. Vince can make guest appearances as he eludes the IRS, since he won’t mind being on TV and discussing his tax fraud.

I turn 60 next month, I have no children. I think I need to get my act together and adopt a bunch of them before I turn 65. Maybe some of my classmates will let me have a few of theirs. LOL

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